Reconstructing Rome

By Indygodusk


Chapter 14 (Start of Season 3)


"Ancient [Romans] used molten iron to repair Pompeii's streets before the historic and devastating eruption of Mount Vesuvius in A.D. 79."

OWEN JARUS


Repairs, repairs, repairs, that's all Meredith spent her time on since the rest of the command staff left for Earth. Without her oversight, the ad hoc work crews scattered around Atlantis tended to get lazy and take shortcuts in their work. On top of that, Colonel Caldwell kept requesting her presence on the Daedalus for repairs like she was just a spare ladder he was borrowing from a neighbor. And yes, of course Meredith was extremely qualified to repair the damage to the starship—being one of the designers and a genius engineer, physicist, mathematician, programmer, etc. etc. but Meredith didn't want to be scrunched up in a dimly lit tube manufactured on Earth when she could be lounging beneath a stained glass window swapping high-tech crystals in a control panel built tens of thousands of years ago by the Alterans.

At least Meredith was great at repairing things. People and relationships… not so much. Being so busy at least kept her from spending all her brainpower obsessing over John and their final words to each other before he disappeared through the gate back to Earth. She was mad at him and hurt, but after a few days, she'd started to feel like she might've gone a little too far in calling him a coward and comparing him to his father. She probably owed him an apology. Maybe. If they ever saw each other again and she deigned to talk to him.

Whatever happened in the future, Meredith was no longer letting John Sheppard bruise her heart. She'd made a mistake in letting herself act on her love for John. Maybe if she'd never kissed him after that kidnapping attempt outside Sheppard Industries they'd still be friends. Meredith had a bad habit of falling in love with the wrong people. She was done with romance. Loving people always led to being left alone and hurt. Meredith was sick of it. She was going to do her best to stuff all the memories in a box in her head and lock it away. Dwelling on all her past mistakes hurt too much. Better to just focus on the now.

If she got lonely, maybe she'd think about making a new friend or getting a pet. She really missed her cat, Hedy Lamarr. A new cat would be nice.

At least she had all of the repairs and challenges of her new position to distract her and keep her busy, even if she was spending a lot of it in less than scenic locations.

Flat on her back in a small tube deep in the bowels of the Daedalus, Meredith unscrewed the panel over her head and carefully slid the plate next to her side, tucking the screws into her breast pocket. The flashlight mounted on her forehead did a good job of illuminating the bundled wires overhead. They looked relatively unscathed by the battle until Meredith reached up and pushed aside the lower layers, revealing an area of melted and fused plastic the size of her fist.

Humming, Meredith probed for more areas of damage."You were right, the surge did get this far. Luckily the damage is minimal. I'm only going to have to replace a chunk of damaged wiring, not the whole thing. Pass me a bag and cutters, Lt. Coco."

"Of course, Dr. Mckay, and once again, it's Cohen, not Coco," the lieutenant said cheerfully. "I've been thinking about this ever since that first time we worked together and if it helps, Cohen rhymes with protozoan and Roman. My first name is Roni, which is also close to Roman but closer to bony, but since the rhymes for Roni Cohen are a bit forced already, you don't need to bother remembering both names. Just Cohen is fine."

Meredith's fingers paused for a moment as she mouthed 'Cohen protozoan' to herself.

Cohen cleared her throat outside the tube. "Actually, now that I've said that out loud, I realize that being remembered as Bony Protozoan is a lot worse than anything you've ever called me. Maybe you should just forget what I said."

Meredith chuckled under her breath.

Lt. Roni Cohen was a young Air Force engineer from Atlantis that Meredith had first met and worked with after the office bombing. Before Atlantis, Cohen had worked on the initial construction of the Daedalus and so was familiar with its systems. She and Meredith had ended up working as a repair team whenever Caldwell demanded extra help, which meant they'd seen each other almost every day this week. Cohen was incessantly cheerful and hard to offend. Meredith still hadn't decided if she found it more charming or irritating.

"Here's the cutters and a bag on your left." Cohen passed up the tools.

"Got it." Snipping out the ruined section of melted wires, Meredith dropped them into the bag. Carefully feeling up around inside the paneling, she didn't find any more damage. "I think the rest of this survived intact. Hand me the wire and I'll finish this section on my own. You go and get started on that damaged assembly in sector sixteen. No point in you just sitting around watching my feet."

Meredith started stripping the ends of the dangling wires overhead. Pieces of plastic pelted her chest like dried needles from a Christmas tree in January.

There was a beat of silence. "Work teams are supposed to stay together while doing repairs," Cohen said hesitantly, stretching into the tube to hold out the spool of wire over Meredith's knees. "I don't think I'm supposed to leave you alone."

Reaching down, Meredith took the wire and moved it up to rest against her side. At almost a foot wide and half a foot tall, the spool of wire dug into her hip uncomfortably, but there wasn't room to put it anywhere else and still have easy access for the overhead repairs. She'd probably have striped purple-blue bruises down her side and hip tomorrow, but it wouldn't be the first time—or the last.

Meredith pulled down the dangling wires and continued stripping ends. "Look, I'm in charge of orders and I say I don't need you here. The Daedalus needs to leave and it can't until these repairs are done. The sooner we do that the happier everyone will be. This area has no power because we shut off the switch. There aren't any safety issues for you to watch out for or any ways to help me since we can't both fit in here. You're useless right now. What would be useful is for you to listen to my orders and go get started on the next job. It's going to take thirty to forty-five minutes just to remove the damaged pieces of that assembly before any repairs can even start."

Stopping to spit out a bit of plastic that had attached itself to her lip, Meredith glanced down her body to the circle of light outside of the tube where Lt. Cohen knelt. "You've proved yourself competent in the last few days. I trust you to go and get started by yourself. I'll join you when I'm done."

"Are you sure…?" Cohen trailed off.

Huffing, Meredith clipped a length of wire from the spool and held it up above her head to make sure it fit in the space. "Of course I'm sure. I don't know why you're making this so difficult. Most people, especially military people, are glad to get away from me and my abrasive personality as soon as possible."

"I like working with you," Cohen said. She sounded like she meant it too, which was… strange. Nice, but strange. Not knowing how to respond, Meredith focused on splicing in the wire overhead.

"Alright, I'll go and get started on the next job, but I'll leave my radio open to your channel. If you need anything at all, just let me know, Dr. Mckay."

"Yes yes, thank you, Cohen-protozoan," Meredith said without thinking it through. She must have decided that pollyanna was more charming than irritating after all.

There was a beat of silence, potentially awkward silence. Should she not have mentioned the protozoan thing after the woman had said to forget it? "At least I got the Cohen part right," Meredith grumbled.

The silence was broken by a golden laugh. "I guess I did that to myself, but if it got you to remember my actual name, I guess it's worth being called a protozoan. See you soon, Dr. Mckay." Cohen patted Meredith's foot in farewell and disappeared.

The next half-hour passed quickly. Cohen checked in every ten minutes but mostly left Meredith alone to work in comfortable silence. Meredith finished repairing the damaged wiring and lifted the panel cover back into place, arching her back to hold it in place with her leg. "Mckay here. I'm just finishing and closing the panel. How's that cracked assembly housing coming along?" she asked through the radio as she screwed the cover back into place. The air was stuffy and hot in the tube. Sweat drenched her shirt, making it cling to her back and sides. At least she only had to smell herself and not an entire work team.

"It'll be fully exposed by the time you get here. It should only take a couple of hours to fix as long as we don't find anything unexpected."

"Roger that, I'll be there in less than ten." Meredith took off her headlamp and tucked it into her bag along with as many little pieces of plastic and wire as she could find, grabbed the spool of wire, and began scooting out of the tube on her back. If she was prone to claustrophobia this would be miserable instead of just uncomfortably awkward.

When Meredith's heels hit open air she breathed a sigh of relief at the thought of standing, only to scream as someone grabbed her ankle and yanked hard. The back of Meredith's head smacked into the tube, dislodging her radio as she fell out onto the floor and landed hard on her hip. Her toolbag dropped next to her, spilling wiring across the ground.

Laughter filled her ringing ears.

Head and hip throbbing, Meredith looked up to see two people standing above her: a thickset woman and a skinny man. Their patches identified them as Hollis and Lewis, Airforce second lieutenants in environmental engineering. Meeting Meredith's eyes, the woman—Hollis—took a juicy bite from the bright red redolla fruit in her hand and chewed with her mouth open, dripping juice down her chin and fingers. The Daedalus must've gotten some redolla shipped over from Atlantis. Hollis wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, smearing red juice over her sleeve.

Touching her temple with a wince, Meredith saw a smear of red on her fingertips. Definitely blood and not fruit juice. Feeling shaky, she pushed herself to her feet. Meredith hated pain. And blood. And bullies. If this was a school instead of a spaceship she'd expect to be crammed into a locker any minute now.

"Told you we'd make you pay, you backstabbing slut," the skinny man sneered.

"When was this?" Meredith asked, touching her sore head again gingerly. "And why? Because slut seems a bit premature since I know I never slept with you. Either of you. Neither of you are my type. Are you sure you have the right person?"

Hollis had dark hair on her upper lip. There was a bit of fruit stuck in her mustache. Gross.

"Don't play dumb, Mckay," the big woman snapped.

"I'm a genius, I never play dumb." The two were blocking the door, leaving no escape unless she tried to run back into the tube, which Meredith rejected as it had a very low likelihood of success. The spool of wire sat on the edge of the tube. Feeling shaky, Meredith stood up.

"Seriously? Don't you remember when we cornered you in the hall right before you beamed down to Atlantis?" Hollis shoved Meredith with the hand holding the redolla fruit, making her stumble into the edge of the tube and leaving a pulpy red glob on her shoulder. The redolla slid down Meredith's chest before falling off to splat onto the floor.

Swallowing hard, Meredith cowered back from further violence and held up her hands. "Okay, wait, stop! No need to get handsy. It's coming back to me… um, Laurel and Hardy, right? Bullies in the hall. Sure, I remember you now, alright?"

"Good." Skinny man Lewis cracked his knuckles. "Then maybe you also remember screwing over our good friend Seward and getting him sent to Leavenworth with your lies."

The air rushed from Meredith's lungs at the mention of the man who'd tried to rape her. Her legs lost their strength and she found herself half-sitting on the spool of wire in the tube opening. It hurt but she didn't have the energy to get up again. "Oh." Sweat beaded on her upper lip, the edges of her vision went white, and her fingers started to shake.

"Oh? Is that all you have to say? How about a sorry for starters for ruining the life and career of a man worth ten of you with your lies!?" bellowed Hollis, her chin quivering.

"No man's worth ten of me," Meredith said on automatic, focusing on her breathing.

"By the time we're through, you're going to be on your knees begging for forgiveness." Eyes narrow, Lewis unbuckled his belt and yanked it out of his pant loops. He licked his lips, leaving them shiny and red.

Panic cut sharply through Meredith's chest, making each breath feel like the stab of a blade. No. Not again. Please, not again. No. She shook her head. "No," she panted, fighting for breath. Her heartbeat pounded loudly in her ears, almost drowning out their laughter.

Sweat stung her eyes. Digging deep, Meredith lifted her chin and bared her teeth. "No! I bashed that bastard's head in and I'll do the same to you if you touch me. Stay back!"

Expression twisted, Lewis wrapped the belt around his hand, leaving six inches loose with the metal buckle and tongue dangling. "I think a few lashes will teach you how to stay quiet. You obviously need to learn some humility and I'm just the man to do it."

"I think she needs more than just a few to cut that ego down to size, maybe you should scar up that pretty face along with her back." Putting on a fake look of concern, Hollis put a hand to her barrel chest. "How lucky that we found Mckay so soon after her accident. Pity she was clumsy enough to hurt herself so badly, but what can you expect from a blond bimbo like her, am I right? Civilians," she chortled.

Meredith's heart was racing so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of her chest and burst across the floor. Her skin felt cold, as if she wasn't wearing a shirt, as if someone had ripped it off. It was hard to see, as if her eye was swelling shut. Her trembling fingers closed around the spool of wire beneath her hip. No, not a spool, it was an ancient clock, the one John had figured out with his supergene. She clutched the clock in her fist and leaned against her desk, the edge of her computer monitor digging painfully into her bare back. She was alone with Seward in her lab at Cheyenne mountain and there were two of him attacking her.

She swung the clock in her fist at the closest Seward. The shock of hitting reverberated up her arm. If she dropped it he'd keep hurting her. She clenched her fingers tight to keep from dropping it. Seward was trying to rape her but there were two of him so she hit them both, driving them back.

She heard shouting in the distance but it didn't seem real. Being attacked was real. She had to save herself. No one else would, not unless it was on accident. No one saved her on purpose. No one cared enough to try. She was alone. Always alone. She could only count on herself. Things went fuzzy and bad.

Bad.

When Meredith came back to herself, she was crouched in a corner. Her fingers ached from clutching a spool of wire. Tears and snot covered her face. She glanced down, expecting to see skin speckled with blood and bruises, but a work uniform covered her body from ankle to neck. There was no bare skin, no blood, just a dark red smear of redolla fruit down her front. She blinked in confusion, feeling achy and slow.

"Please, Dr. Mckay, you're safe. Security has your attackers in custody. You're safe now. This is Lt. Roni Cohen, Cohen-protozoan, remember? We were joking about that just a bit ago. Come back, you're safe, please Dr. Mckay."

Eyes moving over, Meredith saw Lt. Cohen kneeling in the middle of the small room. She looked upset. A security officer stood in the doorway. He had brown hair buzzed tight to his skull and a crooked nose. His patch read Sgt. Lam. Someone else waited out in the hall but she couldn't see the face.

Meredith exhaled shakily and wiped a hand across her face. Her finger brushed over a wound on her temple and she sucked in a breath, fingers jerking away. Meredith sniffed to clear her nose and made her touch more gentle. The wound didn't seem too deep. Memory coalesced. She'd been attacked by friends of Seward's and had a flashback. A bad one.

Muscles turning to water, she moved from crouching to sitting down in her corner. Her mouth felt like dryer lint. She licked her lips and swallowed, trying to chase away the sensation. She needed to snap out of it. She couldn't afford to be weak. "Cohen?"

"Yes Dr. Mckay, it's me. You're safe."

"They attacked me. Two of them. You got them both, right? They sort of look like Laurel and Hardy, but the big one's a woman. The SFs need to arrest them. They attacked me." Meredith forced herself to put the spool of wire down on the floor. It was hard to get her fingers to unclench. "I—I don't remember much of the last few minutes." She pressed her lips together tightly, not meaning to admit to that.

Meredith wiped at her face and told herself to get a grip. Now wasn't the time to act weak. She didn't need someone to hug her and promise to take care of everything. She was the person who took care of problems. Schooling her expression to arrogance, she looked at Cohen. "Well?"

Forehead wrinkling and mouth curving down, Cohen wrung her hands. "We caught both of them. I heard them bullying you over the radio and called in security. I'm so sorry."

"Yes, well…" Meredith trailed off, wiping her palms on her thighs. She looked away and found her eyes caught by the SF in the doorway, Sgt. Lam.

He straightened his spine.. "I'm sorry it took so long for us to get here, ma'am. I mean, Doctor." Lam bobbed his head. "This section is pretty isolated from the main corridors. We patched into your channel and came as fast as we could. When we got here you were doing a good job keeping Lewis and Hollis at bay by swinging around that wire. We took them into custody but when it became clear you were having a flashback and not responding to us, we sent most everyone away and waited."

Heat crawled up the sweat-chilled skin of Meredith's neck. How embarrassing. "Right." Meredith put her hands on the floor to push herself to her feet and winced as she felt a squish. Sticky redolla pulp oozed up between her fingers sickeningly. It was one more indignity. Meredith grimaced and paused to surreptitiously shake her fingers clean.

"Here, let me help you up." Cohen jumped lithely to her feet and reached out, grabbing Meredith's hands in a strong grip and yanking her to her feet. Cohen's nose wrinkled at the sliminess on Meredith's skin but otherwise she didn't react. Watching Meredith's face closely as if expecting her to collapse at any second, she wrapped an arm around Meredith's shoulder and took her weight as she moved them towards the door. As soon as Meredith recovered her balance she extricated herself from Cohen's arms. She felt weak, but she couldn't risk being seen that way so soon after her breakdown. She wished John was here.

No. Not John. She couldn't count on John anymore.

However, she would happily take Miko, Kindall, Carson, or even grumpy-faced McLean, someone she could fall apart on without worrying about saving face or having it come back to bite her later. It was a short list. She didn't have many friends. Most people were idiots. Radek might be her friend too, but she wasn't sure. He might just be the closest thing she had to a peer on Atlantis. Not that she cared how many friends she had. Intelligence was much more important than popularity anyway.

Cohen put a hand on her shoulder but Meredith shrugged it off. "I'm fine. I got a knock on the head from when they pulled me out of the tube, but I'm okay to walk on my own." Besides, if there were more of Seward's friends out there watching, she couldn't let them think her vulnerable or they'd attack again the next time she was alone. That's how bullies worked.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Looking down, Meredith scrubbed her hands down her pants, pleased when the trembling in her fingers subsided even if the stickiness from the Redolla proved to be a lot more stubborn. Bits of redolla pulp covered her skin and clothes liberally and had even transferred over to Cohen. The other woman didn't seem to have noticed yet.

Holding her head high, Meredith stepped forward. "I appreciate the rescue, of course."

Sgt. Lam moved out of the way so Meredith and Cohen could proceed him out of the room. "We'll walk you to medical, Dr. Mckay, and take your statement there." A bald medic waited in the hall but otherwise it was deserted.

"Of course, Sergeant, just let me grab my tool bag," Meredith told him, remembering it at the last second. Leaning over to pick it up, she couldn't suppress a gasp as a pulled muscle twinged. She hated pulled muscles. Her hip really hurt too. Feeling sorry for herself, Meredith tossed the spool of wire inside the bag and gingerly slung it over her shoulder.

"Please, let me carry it." Cohen thrust out her hands. The skin along her wrists looked puffy and red. She must've spilled something on herself while working on taking the assembly apart. Meredith would have to make sure to remind the woman to use gloves next time.

Meredith passed the bag over. She may be proud, but that was more about her intelligence and not looking weak in front of people who had the power to deny her the things she wanted. She'd never had a problem letting other people carry her things.

Moving out of the small room into a larger area full of large pipes and convex bulkheads, they worked their way towards the more populated hallways in the center of the ship where the infirmary was located. Feeling jittery, Meredith couldn't stop rubbing her sticky fingers together. She had a headache. They better give her the good drugs in the infirmary and not try to make her stay there.

Right now she felt a desperate urge to do something impressive. Barring that, she'd take useful, something to help her feel in control and safe again. She hated feeling powerless and she really regretted ever dating Seward. Hell, she regretted dating John, not to mention Troy. Dating had never worked out well for her.

If not for Troy she wouldn't have had anything to lose on Manudia. Because of what he'd done, getting slapped around had been one of the smaller traumas she'd experienced there. There were much worse pains. Worst nightmares. But Meredith was not going to think about that, not about being powerless or what she'd lost on Manudia. She was NOT.

"How are you holding up, Mckay?"

Meredith realized that she was breathing too fast and forced her lungs to slow. She scowled at Sgt. Lam and snapped, "I said I'm fine, no thanks to you."

"Okay," he huffed, holding up his hands. He moved up to the front of the group. The two men led the way through the halls with Meredith and Cohen in the rear.

Meredith sort of wished she could send Cohen up to join them so she could walk by herself. Cohen was staring at Meredith with so much overt concern that it was quickly moving from flattering to annoying. With her eyes all puffy and wet, it looked like Cohen was about to start crying at any second. Weren't soldiers supposed to be stoic? If she did start crying, Meredith was not allowing any of Cohen's snot to get on her sleeves.

"I'm s-so s-sorry… you... got hurt," Cohen slurred, her voice raspy and her breathing strained.

It was strange enough that Meredith finally turned her full focus on something besides herself and looked at Cohen more closely. The rasp in Cohen's normally silky smooth voice didn't seem normal. In fact, her entire face looked abnormal, swollen and splotchy. Her breathing sounded rapid despite the slow walking pace. Red welts covered her hands and crawled up her neck from beneath her collar. Staring at Meredith with unfocused eyes, Cohen absently reached up to scratch at the hives on her neck.

Except for the hives, the combination of symptoms looked horribly familiar from when Meredith accidentally ingested something with lemon. Confidence surged through her. Meredith knew how to help with a problem like this.

"Cohen," Meredith grabbed the other woman's arm and pushed up her sleeve, revealing more welts.

Cohen blinked wetly for a few seconds before following Meredith's gaze down to her puffy red hand. Cohen gasped and then wheezed, almost doubling over as she pressed a trembling hand to her chest. "Oh... no." She stumbled to a stop, leaning against the wall and letting the tool bag drop from her shoulder. Her face went a blotchy white as she fought for breath.

Up ahead the two men kept walking, getting farther ahead of them, not noticing the problem at the rear.

Unsnapping her pocket, Meredith reached for her emergency epipen. "Cohen, do you have bad allergies?"

Wide-eyed, Cohen nodded her head. Her fingers fumbled at her collar, either searching for her dog tags and the engraved medical alerts or trying to pull her collar away from her swelling neck to get more air into her lungs. Meredith didn't need to see the words. This was obviously an allergic reaction. The pulse at Cohen's neck jumped beneath her skin. Legs giving out, Cohen began to slide down the wall, breath whistling as her airway closed.

Meredith caught Cohen under the arm and slowed her fall. "Don't worry, I know what to do. You're going to be fine." She turned her head without looking away and called out, "A little help, guys! She's going into anaphylaxis!"

Pulling out the epipen from her side pocket, Meredith pulled the lid off with her teeth.

Cohen's eyes went wide. "No—don't!" she gasped threadily, batting at Meredith with weak arms, obviously delusional. Hopefully the lack of oxygen wouldn't make her more combative. Meredith already had enough bruises for today

"The medic's coming!" called Sgt. Lam, racing to a stop just over Mckay's shoulder. "Wait, Mckay. Stop!"

Meredith flinched away from the man. She couldn't stand to have a man at her back like that, not after Seward's attack, and especially not after just getting attacked again a few minutes ago. Right now she couldn't afford another panic attack. She had to save Cohen. There was nothing like saving someone's life to make them look up to you and like you.

Ignoring the objections—because after a lifetime dealing with a deadly citrus allergy she certainly knew what she was doing—Meredith plunged the epipen into Cohen's thigh and depressed the trigger.

Jerking her face to the side, Cohen gave a choked cry and slammed her fist down on the ground. Raised red hives covered every inch of her body. The edges of her shirt cut into the swelling skin. This was a bad allergic reaction. If it didn't slow down soon, Cohen could die.

Starting to get scared, Meredith rubbed the injection site to get the medicine into Cohen's bloodstream faster. "Try to calm down and focus on taking shallow breaths. The swelling should start going down soon."

Eyes falling to white slits, Cohen passed out and went limp. Her lips looked blue.

"That made it worse," said Lam tightly, grabbing Cohen's arm to keep her from falling over and loosening the top of her shirt.

"Cohen?" Meredith said urgently, tapping her face. Cohen didn't respond. The epipen should've helped, but Lam was right. She did look worse, not better. Meredith started to panic.

The medic finally reached them—slower than a turtle, just as bald, and twice as useless—and did a quick assessment of Cohen, laying her down in the corridor instead of leaving her propped up against the wall. "You gave her an epipen?" he asked tightly.

"Yes, mine." Meredith slid out of his way and wrung her hands. "The epipen should've helped. Maybe it just needs a little bit more time. I think she needs more but I don't have another one on me. We should get her more help. Have you called for more help? You should do that."

Ignoring her, the medic put his hand under Cohen's chin to tip her head up and keep her airway clear. He pressed his fingers against her pulse and grimaced, muttering to himself, "Her heartbeat's through the roof and climbing." Leaning forward, he put his ear to Cohen's mouth and listened to her breathing with a frown.

Down the hall came the stomp of running feet. A voice bellowed, "Clear the way! Medical emergency! Move!"

The bald medic reached into Cohen's shirt and fished out her dog tags, flicking away the Star of David ones with her name and serial number to reveal a medical dog tag embossed with allergies. Meredith leaned forward to see the details and felt the blood drain from her face.

After ALLERGY STRWBRY, someone had written the word REDOLLA FRT in sharpie. The final stamped lines read:

HIVES ANGIOEDEMA

NO! EPINEPHRINE

The blood rushed in Meredith's ears. "The lady with the mustache, Hollis, she was eating redolla fruit and smashed it on my shoulder," Meredith told him hollowly. "Some got on Cohen. She should've said something."

"And you shouldn't have given her that epipen without my say so, you idiot!" The medic snarled, dropping the tags to check Cohen's heartbeat again. "Now she's on the verge of a heart attack!"

The stretcher arrived and they quickly rolled Cohen onto it. The medic directed them to start a portable oxygen line. Someone clipped a heart monitor on Cohen's finger. The red number was high. Too high. "Hurry!" As soon as the oxygen mask was secured over Cohen's face two men lifted up the stretcher and sprinted away down the hall.

Pressing a hand to her stomach, Meredith watched as if from the bottom of a ballast tank as the medics turned a corner and disappeared with the kind woman that Meredith had probably just killed with her arrogant mistake. Maybe if she hadn't insisted on working separately despite Cohen's objections. Maybe if she'd talked her way out of being cornered by Laurel and Hardy instead of having a panic attack that sent Cohen running to the rescue and exposed her to the redolla fruit. Maybe if she'd looked first at Cohen's medical dog tag or waited for the medic before jabbing Cohen with the epipen. Maybe if she was better, smarter, wiser, maybe then she'd know how to keep people safe. Maybe then she'd stop getting people killed. Maybe—

"Doctor?" Sgt. Lam touched her arm.

Starting, Meredith looked up at him. "I was only trying to help," she told him in a small voice. She was trying, she really was, but it all kept going wrong. There was a lesson there. Letting herself care about the opinions of others was a mistake. Trying to make a new friend had been a mistake. If she hadn't cared so much about impressing a new friend, if she hadn't been so emotional, she might've waited for the medic instead of giving Cohen the epipen herself.

The voice of Meredith's mother sounded in her mind, still clear despite over twenty years of distance. "If you're so smart, Rodney, why can't you get even the simplest of things right? No wonder no one wants you around. You're like the mistake that never ends."

Meredith had grown up knowing she'd been an accidental pregnancy that had ruined her mother's life. Her father's too, since he'd been forced to marry her mother and settle down instead of going off to pursue his dreams. Nothing Meredith ever did was impressive enough to overcome that. Her best tries always ended in failure.

Or disaster, since her best often meant big and splashy. Like today. This time she might've killed Cohen with her arrogance, just like her parents had always warned.

Acid bubbled up Meredith's throat. She swallowed against the burn. It hurt. She deserved it, deserved the pain.

"We need to go, Doctor Mckay." Face a professional mask, Lam gestured after the stretcher. He didn't offer her a hand up.

Fisting her hands to hide any betraying tremble, Meredith couldn't stop the corner of her mouth from pulling down as she rose to her feet. Mechanically she put one foot in front of the other. There was no hiding from bad consequences.


AN: Oh Mckay, hang in there. We still love you! Thank you to reader borderlinecrazy for the idea of Cohen's allergy. I hope I got it mostly right and sorry for any mistakes. Thank you to my awesome commenters katmom and johnsluv. You guys make me so happy!

I hope you're all doing well and have enough TP. *wink* My Firestick TV broke this morning for a while and my kids and I almost died thinking of being without it for two weeks or more. Ack! Luckily I eventually fixed it. Phew! I'm planning on finally reading Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy this week. I know I'm super behind everyone else on reading him. It might have to wait a bit though because Patricia Briggs is putting out the next Mercy Thompson book tomorrow and she is my favorite author. \o/ What are you guys planning to read?

As always, there are pictures of the cast on my Indygodusk tumblr for each chapter, but here's a list of my OCs:

"Rome" R. Meredith Mckay - Kate Winslet

Dr. Troy Forrester - Jude Law

Marsha Sumner (young) - Wendy Davis

Lt. Roni Cohen - Gal Gadot

Sgt. James Kindall - Eric Bana

Major McLean - Vin Diesel

Captain King - Lucy Lawless

Dr. Rigo Diaz - Antonio Sabato Jr.

Captain Seward - Joaquin Phoenix

Sgt. Phukuntsi - Redaric Williams