A/N: I have never had a baby so all of this comes from research. Hopefully I don't get too much wrong.

Chip

At first he couldn't do anything. Connie was moaning 'no' over and over, in between her tears. He felt panicked, like he couldn't move, couldn't react. It felt like a vise had wrapped around his chest. But she was still standing there, a puddle between her legs, and she needed him. He took a deep breath, willing himself to be calm, even though he was anything but. He went to her and took her hands. She looked into his face and he saw her fear. Her worst fears were coming true, he knew that. Truthfully, it was his worst fear too. He struggled to think clearly and logically.

He breathed in again. "Come here, baby," he said, finally, leading her gently away from where she was standing. He kissed her on the cheek. "Just stay right there for a second, okay?" She was still crying and her hands were shaking, but she nodded. He hurried to the laundry room, grateful there were towels sitting on top of the dryer. He grabbed several and ran back to the kitchen. She was still standing where he left her. He threw a couple towels over the puddle on the floor, then turned back to her.

Her eyes were wide open and she was still sniffling a little. "Make it stop," she said, her voice shaky and small.

He breathed in again, as the panic tried to rise back up. "I don't think I can, sweetie," he said. "But we'll get through it, okay?" Without waiting for her to respond, he kneeled down on the kitchen floor and used a towel to gently wipe down her legs. But her shorts and underwear were soaked through so he knew he needed to take care of that. He left the towel on the floor and stood up, taking her hands again. "Let's go upstairs, okay?" he prodded gently. "We can take these clothes off and get you into something dry, okay?"

She just looked at him for a moment, like she didn't understand what he was saying. Then she nodded. "Okay," she whispered.

He slowly led her upstairs and into their bedroom. They went in the bathroom and he lifted her feet first, one after the other, removing her sandals, then took off the wet shorts and underwear, dropping them in the laundry hamper. "How about taking a shower, baby?" he asked.

"I...what if I have the baby in there?" she asked.

He wanted to laugh, but controlled himself. "I think we're a long way from that, sweetie," he said. He hesitated. "Would it help if I stayed right here?" She still looked shellshocked, but she nodded. He smiled. "Okay. I'm gonna turn on the shower and then I'll be right here." He reached into the shower and turned on the water, waiting until it was the right temperature. Then he removed her t-shirt and bra and, taking her hand, helped her walk into the shower. She just stood there.

He hesitated. Yoby was taking a nap. Hadn't been down for long. And he was going to have to make arrangements for him, at some point. Then he decided to undress himself and get into the shower with her. When he did, he found her shaking. Not noticeable but he could tell she was terrified. He stood behind her and then reached around for the shower sponge. He squeezed some bath soap on it and gently ran it over her body, concentrating on her lower body so she would feel clean. When they got out, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then got another one and started drying her off. He reached for her robe, but she shook her head. "I need to be dressed," she said.

"Do you want me to help you?"

She looked at him, then shook her head. "I can do it." Her eyes filled with tears and she touched his cheek with her fingers. "Thank you for taking care of me."

He just wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay, but he didn't know what was going to happen, except for the fact that it appeared they would be having a baby soon. Much sooner than they had expected. He felt his throat close up and started to take deep breaths again. She walked towards the closet as though she were in a trance and he turned and dried off, then started getting dressed himself.

Connie

She slowly pulled on some clothes, feeling as though she was in a dream. She hadn't had another contraction since the one right before her water broke and she was hoping maybe that was the end of it. A false alarm. Chip appeared at her side then, his face filled with worry. "You wanna lay down?" he asked.

She thought about that, then nodded. "Yeah, I think so." He led her over to the bed and she sat on the edge. He picked up her legs and lifted them onto the bed and she sat back against the pillows. She put her hands on her stomach. "It's too soon," she whispered. She looked back at him. He looked so worried, but he'd been so gentle and loving with her. Thinking about that made the tears well up in her eyes again.

He leaned down, taking her face in his hands, and kissed her on the forehead. "It's gonna be okay, baby," he said.

She shook her head. "You don't know that," she said. "It's too early, Chip. Seven weeks. We don't know what could happen. It's just too soon."

He sat down on the bed beside her. "Baby, you don't know that there'll be something wrong. The doctor told us every time we've seen her that everything is fine. Why would something change now?" She knew he was trying to be supportive and encouraging because he knew she was scared, but he wasn't the one carrying this baby.

"I think you just don't know how I feel, Chip," she said, trying to stop crying. "I'm the one who's carried this baby in my body. I'm the person this baby is closest to and I know what I feel."

He seemed to stiffen for a moment, but then he looked at her face and he took her hands and squeezed them. "I'm scared too, Connie," he said. 'I'm just trying to be strong for you and take away some of the worry." She saw tears in his eyes then. "I want us to have this baby and have he or she be part of our family. This means everything to me too."

She put her hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know you're scared too." She sucked in her breath then as she felt another contraction start. It had been a long time since she'd had cramps, but this felt worse than she remembered cramps feeling. She tried to breathe, but they hadn't even been to one childbirth class, and she had no idea what she should be doing. It seemed to go on and on and she couldn't help but moan. This hurts. It hurts and I want it to stop. I don't want to have this baby today. He was holding her hands and she clenched them tightly until she felt the pain start to wind down. She breathed out slowly as she felt her whole body start to ease up. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her and she wrapped her hands around his wrists as she leaned towards him.

He rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks and looked intently into her eyes. "If I remember right, we need to start timing these."

Her eyes flew open. "We don't need to go to the hospital right away?"

He shook his head. "Not unless we want to wait there for hours."

"But the baby's early. Don't you think they'd want to keep an eye on everything? What if everything suddenly gets worse?" Her heart was beating hard and she was feeling a sense of panic.

"Hey, hey," he said, bringing his face closer to hers. "Would it help if I call Dr. Hamilton?" She nodded. "Let me do that then, okay?" She nodded again. Then he stood up and went downstairs to retrieve his phone.

Chip

She seemed to be a little less frantic after they'd talked to Dr. Hamilton. He'd put her on speaker so Connie could describe everything. As she did so, he thought she sounded amazingly calm, even though he knew she was not. The doctor told them to time the contractions and when to head for the hospital. She also asked about a pediatrician.

Connie looked a little surprised as she looked up at him. "We were supposed to meet her this week, I think," she said. "We would need her there?"

"I think it would be a good idea," Dr. Hamilton said. He swallowed hard, wondering if that was as ominous sounding as it seemed.

"Okay then, we'll call her." she paused. "Do we need to be worried?"

"I don't think so. The baby is earlier than we'd like, but there's no reason to believe you won't deliver a healthy baby. And having the pediatrician there is normal. That's who will be responsible for your baby. So don't worry. Just time those contractions and try to relax." He breathed a silent sigh of relief. ...having the pediatrician there is normal.

When they hung up, he tried to smile encouragingly at her. "See? It'll be okay. Everything will be fine," he said.

She frowned a little. "Well, that's not exactly what she said. But I guess I have to believe that everything's going to be fine. I'm just really nervous."

He took her hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. "We've got a while, I'm guessing, before we need to go, so are there things you want to do?"

She shook her head and tried to smile, but ended up crying. "We're not ready, Chip," she cried. "We don't have anything except Yoby's crib. We don't even have something to bring the baby home in."

He put his arms around her, rubbing her back. "It's okay, baby. We can get something." He kissed her forehead, thinking she felt a little feverish. "It's gonna be okay. I'm right here."

She pulled back and looked at him. "What would I do without you?" she asked. "Thank you for being here."

He chuckled and kissed her forehead again. "Where else would I be, baby? We're gonna get through this." She put her head on his shoulder and he rubbed her back some more. He closed his eyes, not wanting to let her know that he was a little scared too. He'd only felt this worried when Addie was sick. It wasn't the same, but the feelings of helplessness were. He just prayed everything would be okay.

Connie

They were finally on the way to the hospital. It was almost three in the morning. Labor had been slow at first and she had luckily been able to get a little rest. Yoby was staying at Jessie and Nathan's and she had gotten a burst of energy in the early evening and finished reorganizing everything, having to contend with Chip trying to make her sit down or lay down. She washed the towels on the kitchen floor, which made her think back to the moment she had realized she wasn't having 'practice' contractions anymore.

When she went upstairs to pack a bag to take to the hospital, she felt overwhelmed. She had tried to be positive and think the best, like Chip wanted her to, but all she could think about was that it wasn't going the way it was supposed to. She was having this baby too early and all she could think about were all the things that could go wrong. She sat down on a chair she had dragged into the closet the previous day, a nightgown in her hands, and started to cry again. Not sobs, but tears rolling down her face. She had tried so hard to do all the right things.

"Connie?" She heard Chip's voice in the bedroom.

"I'm in here," she called out, hearing the shakiness in her voice.

He came around the corner and stopped. "What's wrong, baby?"

She shook her head and then began crying harder. He was suddenly kneeling on the floor right next to her. "I'm so sorry," she said, looking into his worried eyes.

He looked confused. "Why are you sorry?"

"I don't know. There must be something wrong with me that the baby's coming early."

"Are you serious? What could you have done?"

She shrugged. "I don't know," she said again. Then she frowned. "What if it was all the flying? All that travel."

"Dr. Morris said it was okay."

"But what if she was wrong? We probably should have come back earlier, Chip. That was what I thought all along."

He stood up then, frowning. "So you're blaming me?"

She let out a frustrated sigh. "No, I'm not blaming you!"

"You didn't want to go to the beach. So now you have a reason why I was wrong to want to go."

She gasped. "I didn't say that," she said angrily. "I was just thinking it might not have been a good idea after all. To travel period. I mean, we don't know anything, Chip!" She couldn't believe she was getting ready to have their baby and he had picked a fight with her. she looked up at him. "Why do you think everything has to do with you? I'm trying to do all of this right and it's all going wrong and you're not even listening to me! I'm scared and you're just, just fighting with me!" She gasped again, this time as a contraction started to build. She was holding her breath and she knew that wasn't right, so she tried to breathe, sliding down off the chair onto her knees. She held her belly as the pain seemed to rise to a peak and the pressure she felt in her lower abdomen left her breathless. As the contraction eased, she breathed in and out, then slid back onto her heels, feeling shaky.

Chip got down on his knees again and took her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm not fighting with you. I don't want to fight with you." She saw tears in his eyes and one rolled down his cheek. "I'm scared too, Connie. For you and this baby."

She looked at him. She needed him to support her and help her get through this and whatever else that meant. She didn't want to fight either. She breathed in deeply. "So how many minutes was that?"

He pulled out his phone and looked at the time. "Probably about 8 minutes." He smiled. "Not long before it's showtime."

He reached across the console and took her hand. She looked over at him. "You doing okay?"

She nodded, then shook her head. "This is hard. And it hurts. But I want to be brave. And positive."

He glanced at her. "Connie..."

"I'm serious, Chip. I don't want to think the worst. I know that's the worst thing I could do. But I want to keep this baby inside a little longer. And I feel like I'm..."

He squeezed her hand and she stopped talking. "Connie, I know you think I'm not worried enough or scared enough, or something. It's not that. At all. But I have to be positive. I can't let myself think the worst." He cleared his throat. "When Addie was sick, even though they told us she had an 85% chance of surviving it, all I could do at first was think about the 15%. But I realized that wasn't helping and it was only making me feel helpless. So I always focus on the 85%."

She gave him an apologetic smile. "It's one of the things I love about you," she said. Then she felt the beginnings of another contraction and let go of his hand, fighting not to scream, trying to breathe, feeling overwhelmed with the pain of it. And when it was finally over, she realized they were at the hospital and she promised herself she'd put all her positive energy towards bringing this baby that she'd been looking forward to for months, safely into the world.

Chip

He didn't remember having felt quite as nervous as he did this time. He supposed there were lots of reasons for that. She was older, he was older. She was anxious, had been the whole time, for this part. The fact that it was almost two months earlier than either had expected meant that her anxiety had grown exponentially. He wanted to be her rock, but he also felt himself get more agitated as time went on because he and Patty were younger and everything had gone more smoothly. He felt like he was running frantically in the house, trying to get everything together. Trying to keep her calm, although he doubted he was doing a good job at that.

He finally got her to sit back down on the bed, wanting her to relax. He'd always thought of her as being in control, not rattled easily by things. But being pregnant had gotten her rattled. He knew his job now was to keep her calm and focused, soothe her. He rubbed her legs and feet with lotion, taking his time. The contractions weren't that close together initially and she had lots of time in between to get her breathing under control and prepare.

The exertion of all the laundry and putting things away and organizing closets and drawers had taken a lot out of her, so he was glad she was willing to sit in bed. For an hour or so she would doze between contractions. He sat next to her, an arm around her, as she rested her head on his shoulder. He held her hand while a contraction was hitting her. We're a team. We're gonna get through this together. He kissed the side of her face and she gave him a tired smile.

"Have you thought about whether you want a boy or a girl?" she asked.

He shook his head. He hadn't thought about it much. He had both already. "Not really. Healthy is good enough for me."

She smiled up at him. "I think I'd like it to be a girl," she said.

He smiled back. "Then that's what I want too." He kissed her cheek. "I want you to have exactly what you want." He took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. He sighed, then laughed a little. "I didn't even know you a year ago. And now look where we are. Waiting together for our daughter, or son. Making something special together."

She put her other hand on his arm and leaned against him. "I'm glad we're doing this together."


When they got to the hospital, everything seemed to speed up. He had to leave her to go park and she looked anxious. She was sitting in a wheelchair and he kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in his. "I'll be right back, okay?" He smiled encouragingly at her. "Don't have this baby before I get there."

Her eyes widened. "It won't be that fast, will it?" she asked, holding tight to his hands.

He shook his head. "No, of course not. I'll be up there before you know it, okay?" She nodded. He stood up, then leaned over and kissed her. "I'll be right by your side, holding your hand, and it'll all be good." He kissed her again, then stood watching as the ER nurse wheeled her away. He felt tears in his eyes, then got back in the car and headed for the parking deck.


It seemed like it took forever to find a place to park. He was pretty sure he'd used every curse word he knew, multiple times, and in phrases and sentences. When he finally found one, he dashed to the elevator, only to have to wait on that as well. More cursing, loudly and angrily, as he kicked his foot against the cement wall by the elevator. When he finally got to the ground floor, he ran across the road to the ER. He was directed towards the maternity floor and then took another slow elevator to the floor. He ran up to the main desk and almost laughed out loud when he saw no one there. What the goddamn fuck?!

He walked part way down the hall, looking for someone, then back in the other direction. When he passed the desk, he saw someone walk into the pod and walked up to the counter.

"Yes, sir, can I help you?"

"I'm looking for my...um, Connie Britton. She was on her way up here?" He'd almost said 'my wife' but caught himself. He couldn't think of what to call her – girlfriend sounded juvenile – so he just awkwardly said her name. Something about that needed to change as soon as it was possible.

He watched as she checked. "She's right down that hall" – the woman behind the desk said – "in room 425."

He smiled and raised his hand. "Thanks." Then he jogged down the hall until he found the right room. She was standing beside the bed, her arms folded over a couple of pillows and her head down. He felt a sense of panic. "Connie?"

She looked up. "Oh, thank God you're here," she said. She looked exhausted.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he walked up beside her.

She stood up and nodded, then shook her head. "It hurts," she cried.

He felt relieved and smiled. "I think it's supposed to."

She looked at him, her eyes rimmed in red. "I'm gonna do the epidural. I have to." That had been a discussion point earlier in her pregnancy, when she was reading everything she could about pregnancy and birth. She'd gone back and forth about having one and then had decided not to. Obviously she'd changed her mind.

"Whatever you want," he said. He looked around the room. "No one's here?" he asked, with a frown.

She shook her head. "The nurse went to get ice chips. Dr. Hamilton's almost here." She turned towards him. "I'm so glad you're here."

He leaned in and kissed her. "It took forever to find a place to park. That deck was almost full."

Suddenly her hands gripped his arms. She started panting heavily and he could tell another contraction was building up inside her. Her hair was pulled back off her face and her face was bright pink. She was sweaty and tears were rolling down her face. "Sweetie, you're doing great," he murmured.

She whimpered a little and her hands tightened around his arms, which he knew meant she was trying to will away the contraction. "It's too soon," she wailed. "I don't want the baby to come now."

"I think it is anyway. Babies are like that, doing things you don't want 'em to do." He smiled at her, trying to help lift her spirits.

She frowned. "Babies need to do what their mamas tell them to," she said, gritting her teeth. Then she started to cry again. "I'm so afraid, Chip." She looked up at him with fear and panic in her face and eyes. He wished he could make it all stop, but Dr. Hamilton had told him it was too late for that.

"But you're doing great, baby," he said, trying to encourage her and also to keep the concern out of his voice. He couldn't help but be nervous, even though the doctor had told him everything should be fine. Should. Does that mean it might not? If something happens to this baby, I think Connie's gonna lose it. And I probably will too. She started to press down on his arms and pant and he knew she was having another contraction. They were getting much closer together, which he knew meant it probably wouldn't be long now until the baby was born. His heart started thudding in his chest. "Come on, baby, you can do this," he coached her. "Keep breathing, just like that." He kept watching her. He wanted her to sit down or something, but she said standing made it hurt less, although it didn't look to him like that meant much.

She let her breath out in a whoosh and looked up at him. "What if…."

He shook his head and shushed her. "Don't think worst case scenarios, Connie. This baby is coming and it's coming now, and we're just going to do everything we can to make sure it's all okay. Please just think positive. Don't believe anything other than our child will be happy and healthy and then we'll love him or her forever."

She gave him a shaky smile. "What would I do without you?" she said. She kept saying things like that and he felt pressure to live up to it. It was all he wanted to do, but that meant making sure his own anxiety didn't surface.

Just then Dr. Hamilton burst into the room, a smile on her face. "So, you two ready to be parents?" she asked.

"I don't think we have a choice, do we?" he asked, trying to smile.

Dr. Hamilton shook her head. "No, you really don't." She turned towards Connie. "So let's get you up on the bed so I can do an exam and see where we are, shall we?"

As pink as Connie's face had been, it looked to him like it had turned white. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out, so she just nodded. He helped her get on the bed and then stood back behind her as a nurse who'd just entered the room got her set up. Connie looked back at him and he took her hand and held it firmly.

Connie

She nearly cried when Dr. Hamilton told her she was dilated enough for an epidural. Actually, if she was honest about it, she did cry. But she'd been crying a lot over the last several hours. She felt like a baby, unable to tolerate pain, but it had been the worst pain she could ever remember in her life. She had thought she could do this without an epidural, but when the pain actually started, she knew she couldn't. But she also didn't want to do anything to hurt the baby. The pain was so intense though. So when Dr. Hamilton asked if she wanted to get the epidural, she said 'yes please'.

She felt a slight prick when the epidural went in. What she felt more was Chip's strong, warm hand, so familiar to her, so often giving her strength as he was now. He helped her back into the bed and helped her get comfortable. She felt the pain ease and she felt his lips on her cheek and she heard his words of encouragement. As the pain continued to fade away, she felt more like herself. All she had to do now was wait for her baby to be born.

Chip

She turned to him, almost in a panic. "We don't have anything for the baby to wear home," she said.

He smiled. "It's okay. We'll figure something out before the time comes." He kissed her. "Don't worry about that kind of stuff. Just concentrate on having the baby first." He held her hand and leaned into her ear and whispered, "You're doing great, baby."

The epidural had seemed to relax her a bit at first. The contractions were coming faster, though, and she was getting more agitated. All she felt was pressure, she told him, but all of her other fears about the baby coming so early were making it so she couldn't stay calm. Dr. Hamilton was examining her again and she squeezed his hand hard with the discomfort. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back and he could see the tears dotting her eyelashes.

The doctor stood up, pulling off her glove, and then patted Connie's knee. She opened her eyes then. "Connie, we're just about there, so in a few minutes I'm going to ask you to start pushing." Connie bit her bottom lip. Dr. Hamilton smiled encouragingly. "Connie, the baby's heartbeat is good. There are no signs of distress. I don't want you to worry." Connie nodded and then looked up at him.

"It's good, baby," he murmured. "It's gonna be good." The activity in the room started to increase. He took her hand, trying to silently encourage her. He leaned close to her ear. "Just breathe, sweetie. Remember to breathe." She looked at him and nodded, then tried to breathe the way she'd been told. A NICU nurse had arrived, with the incubator, which he could tell was ratcheting up her anxiety. But it was time for the baby to arrive, so she didn't have much opportunity to panic about it.

"Okay, Connie," Dr. Hamilton said as she sat down at Connie's feet. "In just a minute I'm going to tell you to push. You shouldn't feel pain, but you'll feel pressure. I'll get you through it though. Even if you want to push, don't unless I tell you to." She looked over at him and smiled. "And Chip, I just need you to encourage her like you've been doing. It'll be just a few minutes and you'll finally get to see your baby."

He squeezed Connie's hand and smiled at her. "This is it, sweetie. You're gonna do great." He kissed her cheek. "You're amazing." She smiled back at him before turning her attention back to Dr. Hamilton, who told her she could start pushing, talking her through it. He stood beside her, one arm around her back, one hand holding hers. As he watched her, he was so proud. As scared as he knew she was, she was strong. She was a fighter and he knew she was fighting hard for their baby. The doctor told her to push one more time and suddenly there she was.

Dr. Hamilton looked up with a smile. "It's a girl!" she announced and then he and Connie were both crying and laughing at the same time. The nurse took the baby, loosened up Connie's gown and laid her on her chest. Her little cries faded as she looked into her mother's eyes for the first time.

The nurse patted the baby's back and then laid a small blanket over her. "Just hold her against your chest. That will help her feel warm and comforted."

Connie smiled and then moved the baby up on her chest. She touched her face gently. She needed to be cleaned up but he thought she was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. Connie looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Our daughter," she said softly and he nodded, too overcome to speak. "She's so tiny though." She looked around the room, worry on her face, as she put her hand on the baby's back.

She was tiny, he noticed. Much smaller than he remembered Taylor, Chase and Addie being. He put his hand over hers and she looked up at him. "I'm sure it's because she's early," he said. He smiled, trying to encourage her. She looked skeptical, then looked back down at the baby, rubbing her hand over her back.

He breathed in deeply, wondering what would happen next.

Connie

When the nurse brought the baby to her, all she could think about at first was that she was perfect. She smiled, even though her eyes were filled with tears. "Hey there, baby girl," she whispered. "I'm so glad to finally meet you." The baby moved her head a little and looked up. She had beautiful blue eyes and tiny tufts of hair on her head. She took her little hand and counted her fingers. Feeling the tiny being laying on her chest filled her heart with love.

As she ran her hand over the baby's back, she felt small. Not that she had expected her to be Yoby's size, because he'd been much older when he came to her. But this one felt light as a feather. She looked up and around the room. "She's so tiny though," she said, suddenly feeling a little worried.

One of the nurses came to stand next to her. "Why don't you let me take her to get cleaned up and we'll check her out?" She was afraid to let her go, but she knew they needed to look her over, so she nodded. The nurse picked her up, then smiled. "What's her name?"

They had talked about it at the beach and she still felt good about their choice. "Ryleigh," she said, glancing up at Chip. He smiled and nodded.

The nurse cradled the baby in her arms. "Let's see what's what about you, Miss Ryleigh," she said, walking over to where the pediatrician and NICU nurse were standing. As the nurse handed the baby over, she started to feel a little anxious. After a few minutes, the NICU nurse took Ryleigh and placed her in the NICU incubator.

She could see them start to put things on her and she tried to sit up, feeling concerned and worried. "Is she okay?" she asked. She could feel her voice rise and Chip put his hand on her shoulder, which felt comforting, but she was still worried. "Is something wrong?" she asked a little louder.

The pediatrician came over then and took her hand. "I'm Dr. Wilson," she said. She shook Chip's hand. She looked back and forth between the two of them. "I'm sorry we didn't get to meet before now, but I'm going to take good care of your little one." She looked all business-like then. "Ryleigh is small, which isn't unexpected, but about 4 ½ pounds, which is less than we'd like to see, especially since babies can lose a little weight at first. Her breathing is a little shallow, so we'll put a nasal canula in just to provide a little extra assistance. We're going to keep an eye on her body temperature and we'll set up a feeding tube. I'd like you to come by later and we'll see how she does with breastfeeding. I'm hoping she'll take to it, but if not, we'll keep the feeding tube and then hopefully be able to use your breast milk."

She felt like she couldn't breathe. Chip seemed to sense it and rubbed her back. "Um, how long will she need to be in there?" he asked, and she heard the small tremor in his voice.

"Probably for the next few days at least, until we can see what support she still needs. What we're looking for is for her to hold her body temperature, gain some weight, and that she's breathing comfortably." She looked from one to the other again. "She's not sick, just undersized. Most of this is a precaution, but until we're comfortable with her weight gain, and that's she's able to breastfeed, and her breathing is strong, she'll stay here."

"Will I be able to see her?" she asked, grabbing Chip's hand.

Dr. Wilson smiled. "Oh, of course. I think you should rest a little bit first and then we can take you to see her later today. And you can see her as often as you like. In fact, I want you to. I want you to hold her, just like you did after she was born. She needs to feel your touch and the warmth of your skin next to hers." She looked back at the incubator. "Do you want to see her before we take her to the NICU?"

She nodded. "Yes." Then she turned back to look at Chip. "Come over here." He nodded, but she thought she saw something in his eyes, something she couldn't quite name. "You okay?"

He smiled. "Yeah, 'course I am." He shrugged. "Just kind of a long day and all this...with her. You know."

She still felt like something was going on with him, but the NICU nurse was bringing Ryleigh over and she didn't want to miss that. When the incubator was next to the bed, she sat up and leaned over, wincing just a little, sliding her hand through the opening, letting her finger trail down her daughter's tiny arm. She was glad to see her react, her tiny arms and legs twitching. Then she watched Chip walk to the other side of the unit and do the same. He leaned down and softly said, "Be strong, baby girl."

Chip

He stood to the side and watched as his daughter was taken out of the delivery room. His chest hurt and his heart hurt. He wasn't exactly sure what to feel. He was scared but also relieved she was here and that there was nothing seriously wrong with her. He knew it would be hard on Connie anyway and he knew he needed to be strong for her. He closed his eyes for a second and breathed in.

"Chip?" Her voice sounded small and a little scared and he turned towards her. He could see she was looking to him to shore her up and he reached for her hand. Then he leaned down and brushed his lips over hers.

"She's beautiful, mama," he said with a smile. "And you did great." He could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "She'll be okay, baby. She will."

"You should go rest, Connie." They both looked at Dr. Hamilton. "You're going to need your strength. Ryleigh's going to need you, both of you." She glanced at him. "Congratulations to both of you. She's a beautiful baby." She patted Connie's ankle. "I'll come by to see you later, but I want you to get some sleep first." Then they watched as the doctor briskly walked out of the room.

"You ready to go to your room?" one of the nurses asked. Connie nodded and the nurse turned the bed and headed out, as he followed behind.

Connie

She mostly held her emotions inside as they headed for her room. She couldn't stop the tears completely, but she was determined not to break down. She kept rubbing the tears off her cheeks as she thought about how she should have been going to her room with her baby in her arms, instead of watching her go to the NICU. Her heart hurt thinking about how much tinier she looked than she had when she'd been born, lying in that clear incubator, with tubes and wires around her, with only a tiny diaper on. A tiny sob escaped as she thought about her baby, her Ryleigh, all alone, without her or Chip.

When they arrived at her room and the bed was set up, she looked up at the nurse. "So she can't be here with me?"

The nurse was a motherly looking woman, with a kind face and soft hands. She shook her head sadly. "She'll need to be in the NICU, but you'll be able to see her there, as much as you want."

She sighed. "It's not the same though."

Then nurse patted her hand. "I know, but there will be people with her around the clock, watching over her." She smiled. "They're checking her out right now and making sure she's set up with what she needs. When you wake up they'll be done with all that and then they'll have her ready so both of you can see her and spend some time with her."

She didn't really want to wait. Ryleigh wasn't even an hour old yet and they were apart. Tears filled her eyes again and her throat hurt, along with her heart. She heard the nurse tell Chip to just let them know when they were ready to go see the baby. Being rested is the best thing she can do for your baby right now. She watched him as he walked behind the nurse and shut the door. When he came back and sat on the bed beside her, she tried to sit up and get off the bed. "I want to see her now, Chip," she said. "I need to hold my baby. She needs me."

He stopped her. "You need to rest. You've hardly slept since yesterday morning." He took her hands and smiled at her encouragingly. "She'll be okay. I want you to get some sleep and then we can go see her together."

She started to cry. "This isn't how it's supposed to be," she cried. "She should still be inside me, getting stronger, before she's in the world." She tried to pull her hands back, but he held on. "I need to hold her, Chip. She needs me. She needs her mama."

"I know, sweetie, but we need to do what..."

She knew he was trying to help and be supportive, but she was frustrated. She shook her head. "I want to see my baby. I need to see her. Now." She could hear the sharpness in her voice and she saw him clench his jaw.

He took a minute, then breathed in slowly. "Baby, you're exhausted. I can see it in your eyes."

The nurse hustled in again, smiling apologetically and leaving a pitcher of water and cups on the tray table. After the nurse left, she looked up at Chip. He looked tired too. It had been just as long a night for him and she didn't think he'd ever slept, even while she dozed. "I'm scared for her," she said.

He raised his eyebrows and gestured behind him. "You mean the nurse? I am too, with her having to handle you." She made a face, but she appreciated him trying to lighten the mood. He reached out and smoothed her hair and then let his hand drift over her cheek. He smiled. "We have our girl. Just what you wanted." He leaned in and kissed her. "I want you to rest now, okay?"

She smiled at him. "I will if you will. You look exhausted, babe." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "And then we'll go right to her."

He nodded. "We will." He kissed her again. "Thank you for her."

The tears were rolling down her face again. "Thank you." She smiled at him. "Now I have everything I've ever wanted in my life. My family."

He nodded and she could see tears in his eyes. She leaned back against the pillows and almost immediately fell asleep.

Chip

He watched her for several minutes. He was so proud of her. He knew labor had been hard and frightening both for her, but she'd done it. Yes, Ryleigh was in the NICU and that was scary, but she was here and it didn't seem like there were any issues that wouldn't prevent her from being able to come home soon. He knew he'd said he'd rest too and he knew he should probably wait for her, but he wanted to see the baby, be sure she really was okay. He looked at Connie again and was satisfied she was asleep. He turned and walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.


When he walked into the NICU, it felt a little overwhelming. He had expected there to be lots of loud noise and warning sounds and people running frantically from one place to another, but it was actually none of those things. But there were a lot of those same incubators they'd taken Ryleigh away in. Parents standing or sitting beside ones with babies in them. There were voices but they were mostly low and quiet. And while there were sounds, it was mostly rhythmic beeping noises. There was a lot of activity, but nothing was frantic. He breathed in deeply.

The nurse outside the nursery had checked his wristband and then let him in. Another nurse had approached and checked the wristband again, then walked him to one of the incubators. As they approached he felt his chest tighten. The label on the incubator read 'Baby Britton/Esten' and he smiled a little to himself. He supposed that was on the wristbands too and obviously meant whoever checked them in knew who they were, but not that his last name was not actually Esten.

"She's sleeping right now," the nurse said quietly. "We're monitoring her respiration and body temp. We've got a feeding line in and are giving her some formula, but Mom should try feeding her when she comes in." He looked at the nurse and nodded. She smiled. "You can touch her if you like. Just slide your hand through the opening and rest it on her chest. Stroking her skin can a little alarming to these little babies, but putting your hand on her chest and her head will make her feel secure."

He nodded again. "Thanks," he said. He smiled a little sheepishly. "I know I should have waited for her mama, but she's sleeping too."

"No worries. You wouldn't be the first dad to want a sneak peek." She pulled a chair up then. "Why don't you sit here? It'll be easier and you can see her better. And you can talk to her too."

He nodded and sat in the chair. For a few minutes he just watched the baby. He saw her chest rise and fall and occasionally her hand would move, almost like she was grasping for something. He put his index finger close to her hand and felt his heart seem to clench when she wrapped her tiny fingers around it. He felt the tears in his eyes and couldn't stop them from running down his cheeks. He put his other hand in and placed it gently on her chest. He could feel her heart beat and felt her chest rise and fall. She still just had the canula in her nose and he thought that was a positive.

He moved the chair a little closer. "Hey, Ryleigh," he whispered, choking a little on the words. "I'm your daddy. And I love you so much." He forgot and rubbed his thumb over her skin. She jerked a little and flailed her feet before settling back down. "I'm sorry, sweetie," he said softly. He smiled and felt a tear run down his cheek. "I can't wait for your mama to see you."