Chapter 14: I'm Ready
EDWARD
"Useless," I muttered into the wrench in my hands as I worked on the run-down bike in front of me. I sat on the haunches of my feet and teetered back and forth as I glared at the bike.
"Fucking useless piece of junk." I threw the wrench down on the hard floor, cringing as the sound echoed around me.
"Talking to yourself again, boss?" Garrett came up behind me, kneeling down as I was to look at the wondrous piece of garbage. He sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Man, whoever owns this bike really did a number on it."
I nodded and fell back on my ass, not caring about the puddle of grease I landed in. The owner of this once beautiful bike really had no clue how to take care of it. I sighed and ran a dirty hand through my hair.
"This is gonna take all day, and maybe some of tomorrow. If I'm lucky."
Garrett patted me on the shoulder, squeezing and chuckling. "You're the one that said you could fix even the worst pieces."
I laughed and shook my head. "Me and my ego."
Garrett chuckled behind me, I heard him stand up and walk to the front, leaving me to my annoyance. Luckily. I had an outlet these days. I wiped my hands on a dirty rag and pulled my phone from my pocket, pulling up the contact that sent shivers down my spine.
Bella.
I texted her. I just wanted to know how her day was going. Just hearing from her made my days a little better. My soul a little lighter. I knew it was crazy. I couldn't even explain the connection I felt for the woman. Her beautiful brown eyes fucking haunted me daily. I wanted to be closer to her. And it frustrated me to no end that she kept me at a distance.
Maybe that was the appeal. Always wanting what I can't have.
And I definitely didn't have Bella.
There was just something about her that drew me in, like a moth to a flame, I was burning to get nearer to her. I knew she had a lot going on, what with her kid, her business, her life. I could understand all of that. I just wished she would let me in. Just a little.
I set my phone down next to me and went back to working on the sporty bike in front of me. That old businessman with a balding head and too young girlfriend better be ready to pay up for all the work I'm putting into his bike. It was always the older men with the midlife crisis bringing me the scraps of their sparsely cared for bikes and expecting a miracle fix.
Shame. But it was what kept my business alive and my dog fed. So I couldn't complain too much.
Speaking of which, Jake lay in the corner of the shop, his big tongue lolling out as his loud snores echoed off the walls. I loved that big goofball. The fact that I had introduced him to Bella was a feat all its own.
There was just something about her that made me trust her. Made me want to trust her.
The chorus to Crazy Train filled my ears and I looked down at my phone to see that I had a call coming in. It was one of my best friends, Emmett.
"What's up?" I answered distractedly as I continued to study the bike.
"So, I'm not completely sure," he started right off the bat. "But I think I finally met your girl."
I felt my heart stop at the mention of 'my girl'. As if. I could only wish. "Bella is there?"
Emmett took a breath. "Well, she sure looks like the picture you showed us, but she ain't smiling, so I can't be too sure. She's been here a while and she looks pissed."
I checked the time on my phone. It was nearing two o'clock. What on earth would Bella be doing at a bar at this time of day? On a weekday, too? Maybe something was wrong. She hadn't texted me back yet. In fact, she hadn't texted me since early in the day and that was just to say good morning.
I bit my cheek. "What is she doing?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Well, her body language is calm but her face looks like she's about to start a bar fight," he laughed.
I looked at the bike I was working on, then back at Garrett. He was sitting with his feet up on the counter, his chair tilted back. He didn't look busy and that's all I cared about.
"Hey, Garrett!" I called to him. He looked back almost falling from his perch.
"Yeah?"
"I need you to watch the shop and Jake for me for just a bit."
"You got it, boss." he saluted and went back to teetering on his chair.
I rolled my eyes and addressed Emmett. "I'm on my way."
Before I could hang up, Emmett boomed a laugh. "Does this make us stalkers? Am I like a co-stalker now?"
"Shut up, I'm just worried about her."
And I was. I didn't know much about the mysterious girl of my waking dreams, but I knew enough to figure that bar hopping in the middle of the day was not of the norm for her. Something must be wrong. Surely, she wouldn't get mad at me for checking on her.
And this is no way made me a stalker, I tried to convince myself.
I hopped on my Bobber Chopper and took off. My body pulsing with the knowledge that I was about to see Bella.
My phone kept ringing in my pocket on the way there, but I ignored it, my focus on the road ahead of me. I finally pulled into the lot of the bar and parked my bike next to a beat-up old Harley. I couldn't help but think of all the ways I could restore it as I walked into the bar. I saw Emmett behind the bar and he looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Bro..."
I grinned at him. "What crawled up your ass?"
"Bro..." he said again, shaking his head.
"Emmett, what's up?"
"Br –,"
"If you say it again, Emmett, I swear to God..."
"Dude," he said instead and I shook my head. "I tried to call you back. You... you should leave."
I looked at him confused, my eyes scanning the bar until they landed that familiar head of thick mahogany hair. I smiled at the sight of it, taking a step nearer to her. She did look slightly upset. I was so focused on her that I didn't register the man across from her until he put his hand over hers on the table. I watched as she looked up, her eyes imploringly settled on his.
The moment looked... intimate.
I couldn't stop the choking noise I felt coming from my throat at the sight. It felt like all the air had been punched right out of me.
Bella looked up then, her eyes startled onto mine.
"E-Edward," she stuttered out, ripping her hands from the man across from her. I finally looked at him. He looked like a fucking douche-bag with his bleach blond hair and manicured brows arched up and speculating as he looked between me and Bella. Then a small smile formed on his lips and I could feel my fists clenching at my sides. I wanted to deck him. Right there. I had to get out.
"Edward," Bella called again, standing from her spot at the booth.
It all made sense now, I thought as I looked at a guilty woman and her smug counterpart. It all made fucking sense. "I get it," I smiled at my stupidity. "I fucking get it."
"No, you don't," she said taking a step closer to me and reaching out. I backed up and jerked my hand back from her proximity. How fucking dare she? She keeps me on the line, giving just a little bit of scraps to keep me coming back like a fucking dog while she's out doing whatever the hell she wants?
Nah, I don't think so.
I turned and booked it out of the bar, swearing at Emmett as he tried to call me and ignoring Bella as I heard her footfalls behind me. I threw my leg over my bike and revved, drowning out the voice behind me.
"Go back in with your boyfriend, Bella," I spat venomously. "I don't want to talk to you."
"You don't understand," she argued and I looked at her, her eyes begging me to listen. I didn't want to hear it. "That's not at all what it looked like."
I scoffed. Bullshit. I had been through this too many times. I don't play games. I let her know exactly how I felt. I did get it. I got it completely. Why she kept me at arm's length. I wasn't fucking dense.
The door opened behind her and that smug bastard came out with a shit-eating grin on his face. I wanted to punch it right off his face but I kept my cool. I had learned my lessons about fighting for a woman who could care less.
"Whatever, Bella." I revved up and sped away, leaving them both in my dust.
I drove back to my shop, ignoring Garrett's questioning stare. I went back to working on the stupid bike for the next few hours, giving it my complete concentration. When it was time to close, I gathered up my tools and my dog, putting my bike in the bed of my truck and hopping in the cab.
I thought of nothing as I drove home with Jake blissfully unaware and gobbling up the air from the open window. I wished I could be that free. Free of feeling this too familiar feeling. This pit in my stomach, the lump in my throat, and tension in my body.
When I made it home and opened the door for Jake he shot out of the truck like a bat out of hell and made a beeline for our apartment. I walked a much slower pace as I tried desperately to make my head stop thinking about things.
I turned to the stairs leading up to my apartment and stopped dead in my tracks. There, sitting at the bottom and looking every bit like the Devil in her tight white t-shirt and black leggings was Bella. She had her head to the side as Jake licked her face.
"Jake, down!" I commanded and he immediately got off her of and ran to my side. "Sit." He did as commanded and I pat his head to let him know he wasn't in any trouble.
"Edward," she breathed, standing from the steps to her full height, her shoulders squared at her ears. "Please listen."
I shook my head and made to step around her but she grabbed my arm. I jerked it away and she winced but stayed put. "There's nothing to say."
"No, there is. You're making assumptions from what you saw and that's not fair."
Not fair?
"What's not fair is you keeping me around when you had no intentions of this going anywhere. Giving me just enough that I stick around while you pursue other options. I told you, I don't play games. I thought I made that clear."
She glared at me then and I had to take a step back from the intensity. "I am not like that, Edward. And I don't appreciate being accused of such salaciousness. If you would just get your head out of your ass and listen to me, then I could explain it to you," she growled. I had never heard her swear before.
"I saw what I saw."
"What you saw was me talking to my estranged husband about him coming back into our daughter's life. What you saw was me thinking about the ramifications of that. What you saw was me warring with myself on whether or not to tell my daughter that the man who broke her heart wants another chance. That's what you saw, Edward."
Dumbfounded, I took a step back and looked down at her red face and angry dark eyes. I saw nothing but truthfulness in them. "Oh," was all I could say.
Oh...
"And the reason I keep you at an arms-length," she continued, still just as heated, "is because I have so much drama in my life with my kid and her feelings that I can't even focus on my own feelings, let alone allow myself to feel them. And I knew Riley coming back was always a possibility because while we're separated, he has yet to sign any divorce papers. I have so much going on, Edward, I didn't want to drag you into my problems. I didn't expect to find someone so soon. I can't deal, okay? I'm an idiot for even trying," she cried, her eyes filling with tears, her chest heaving.
I took a step forward and it was her turn to take a step back. "I have so much baggage that I can't breathe under the weight of it. I just didn't want to drag you down with me."
I nodded and slipped my hands into my pockets. That was a lot. A lot to think about. For me, it wasn't so cut and dry anymore. Bella hadn't been completely upfront with her baggage, but neither had I. We talked but about nothing of importance.
But as I looked at her red cheeks starting to dampen with her tears, I felt a pulling deep down within me. This peculiar woman had me snared, bared and wanting. I couldn't help it. I took another step forward, lifting one of my hands from my pocket and laying it on her wet cheek.
"I'm sorry I assumed," I told her. "I'm sorry you have so much going on and I'm sorry you felt you couldn't be honest with me about it. I know we're just starting out, Bella, but I like you. More than I really can explain to even myself. And...," I took a deep breath and bent at the knees so our eyes were level with one another. "I want you to let me in."
She looked into my eyes. "I can't."
"I won't run."
"You'll regret it," she argued, her voice barely above a whisper.
"We'll never know unless we try. Do you want to spend the rest of forever wondering?"
I knew I sure as hell didn't.
She bit her lip and looked down. "You won't like it once you're there," she argued. I have so many issues."
"Aside from your estranged husband, those would be?"
"I have self-esteem issues."
"I have a giant ego," I compromised.
"I have no time."
"Give me what you can," I took another step closer to her.
"My daughter is a brat," she huffed out a broken laugh and I grinned.
"She must get it from her mother," I joked.
She rolled her eyes. "You really think you can handle this?"
"I've been through a lot, Bella. If there's anything I know about myself, it's that I can get through anything and come out alive."
"You really like me?"
Her eyes wavered on mine, searching and I nodded. "I really do. Lord knows why, but I do."
She laughed then, her tears spilling more freely. "I like you, too."
"Why wouldn't you?"
I lifted my other hand from my pocket and placed it on her other cheek, pulling her close to my face. "Just give me a chance. I may surprise you."
She smiled at me and ended up surprising me by placing her wet lips to mine in a slow, searing kiss that made my hair stand on end and my eyes to roll slightly. Too soon, she pulled away and looked at me.
"Get ready for a whole lot of crazy then," she smiled sadly.
I placed my forehead against hers. "I'm ready."
If you're still with me and still enjoying this story, then please leave a review and let me know what your thoughts are! There will be more Edward in the story from here on out.
