"Lizzy, your Mr. Darcy has arrived at Rosings with his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam. They will call in a quarter‑hour."

Elizabeth laughed, and replied, "William, for the rest of my life I will rue the day Mary and I decided to teach you to tease. He is most assuredly not my Mr. Darcy; unless of course you mean something more like my nemesis, or possibly the bane of my existence, my handsomeness evaluator, or perhaps the source of my frustrations. If he is calling today, it is either basic politeness, curiosity, or Lady Catherine has driven him mad with boredom already."

Mary said, "Yes, that would explain it, for we all know that Mr. Darcy is all politeness!"

Elizabeth sighed, and said, "I always wondered if you heard that. Sir William was truly more insufferable than usual that night."

Mary smirked and replied, "Well, you missed the best part. Before you arrived, Sir William spent some time talking about the refinement of dancing or some such nonsense. Mr. Darcy said, and I quote, 'Certainly, sir; and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished societies of the world. Every savage can dance.'"

Elizabeth smiled and said, "Yes, that sounds like something he would say. It is difficult to tell sometimes if he is being condescending, or if he just has a subtle and sarcastic sense of humor. I suppose he must have been quite annoyed when, but a minute or two later, Sir William presented him with Meryton's principle savage and tried to force him into the detested activity. I am amazed he managed to keep his response down to his usual scowl. I think I would have needed words with Sir William."

"Yes, indeed! He did however ask you to dance… twice, by my count."

"Yes, well he is a perplexing man. He actually might have asked me thrice, although the second was decidedly odd… well, when you get right down to it, they were all odd."

"Yes, odd indeed. Who would think a man like that would dance. Quite odd indeed!"

William Collins chuckled at his new sister and the way she teased her way through life. Mr. Collins was finding that he liked all his sisters exceedingly, even Kitty and Lydia who had visited for a fortnight in early March. Of course, his Mary was the best, but Elizabeth was and would always be his second favorite.

Elizabeth looked at her brother in law in wonder. Who would ever have guessed that a mere four months of marriage to her sister Mary, just the time from Christmas to Easter, would turn the bumbling, stumbling, awkward man who had arrived at Longbourn exactly 8 days and 4 hours before the Netherfield Ball, into the nicest and sweetest man she had ever had the pleasure of knowing?

There were obvious changes anyone could see. Mr. Collins now stood up straight, instead of hunched over. He was a tall man, and Mary encouraged him to look like one. He was still on the heavy side, but not nearly as heavy as he had been. Most importantly though, he had gotten over the debilitating nervousness that had made a boy who grew up with an illiterate, miserly and cruel father sound like a bumbling fool. In fact, his natural intelligence had been allowed to flower, and living with an intelligent wife who was not afraid to speak her mind did not hurt. Regular bathing and better clothing completed the effect, to the point where he was hardly recognizable. Elizabeth reckoned that love was a very powerful thing.

Collins replied, "Ah, but your nemesis and his cousin started out asserting that they would call in a day or two, as you might expect, but then when I mentioned you were visiting, they decided it was only polite to call immediately."

Elizabeth laughed again, shook her finger at her naughty brother in law and said, "Come, come, William. I spent four days cooped up with Mr. Darcy in Netherfield, whilst I doubt that he could distinguish Mary from Charlotte on a bet. The level of acquaintance suggests he should call sooner. That is all it is."

Collins nodded his head sagely, rubbed his chin with his hand, and said, "Ah, manners! Why did I not think of that, what with Mr. Darcy being well renowned for decorum. Why, when he left Hertfordshire, his politeness was quite plain for all to see. None of this awkward leave‑taking and that sort of thing."

Elizabeth stared at him trying to get him to stop, but eventually giggled, and said, "You win, William. I have not the slightest idea why he is coming to visit. I will attend him with my usual civility."

"Shall I call for the apothecary or the undertaker then?"

They had only settled down for a moment when the doorbell rang, and a few minutes later, the maid announced the two expected guests.

Colonel Fitzwilliam, who led the way, was about thirty, not handsome, but in person and address most truly the gentleman. Mr. Darcy looked just as he had been used to look in Hertfordshire, paid his compliments, with his usual reserve, to Mrs. Collins; and whatever might be his feelings towards her sister, met her with every appearance of composure. Elizabeth merely curtseyed to him, without saying a word.

Colonel Fitzwilliam entered into conversation directly with the readiness and ease of a well-bred man and talked very pleasantly.

Elizabeth thought Colonel Fitzwilliam was amiable, and a worthwhile conversationalist, so long as she disregarded the fact that he reminded her so much of Mr. Bingley as to make it hard to take him seriously. Fortunately, she expected to spend very little time with either gentleman, so taking either of them seriously was neither necessary nor desirable. She thought that they might spend a few more or less pleasant afternoons at Rosings during the gentlemen's visit, perhaps a dinner or two, and that would be the end of the matter.

Mr. Darcy on the other hand, after having addressed a slight observation on the house and garden to Mrs. Collins, sat for some time without speaking to anybody. At length, however, his civility was so far awakened as to enquire of Elizabeth after the health of her family. She answered him in the usual way, but then stopped herself just short of asking if he had known Jane was in London.

Elizabeth reckoned that there was very little chance the gentleman was aware of her sister in any way, since their circles did not overlap by even a little bit. If they made a Venn Diagram of their overlapping connections, the only people on the overlapped area would be the two whose names were no longer spoken. Other than that, in the normal course of things, their circles of acquaintance would be so far apart as to take two pages to properly graph it out.

Instead of asking him any such thing, Elizabeth tried plying him with the most banal chatter she could come up with, and eventually, after some effort, managed to learn that the ride from London had been made without mishap, and that the weather was agreeable.

After the proper time for such a call, the gentlemen took their leaves and departed. Mr. Darcy gave her a somewhat disconcerting stare before bowing and leaving in the usual manner.

Mary asked, "What was that all about, Lizzy?"

"I have no idea, Mary. I suppose he is angry that I am aware he does not do ordinary conversation well, and he is annoyed that I dragged him into one. On the other hand, he could perfectly well have avoided it by staying at Rosings."

"Yes, with the scintillating conversations of Lady Catherine and her family", Mary added laughingly.

Elizabeth smiled along, and said, "Well, he is a bit of a conundrum. He dislikes ordinary conversation, but he takes no effort to engage in something livelier. He did occasionally show some intelligence and spirit when Jane was convalescing at Netherfield, in the few instances when we escaped the mistress of the house's cloying chatter, so why not say something intelligent?"

Mary giggled, and said, "Yes, indeed. Why would he not bring up Hypatia or Shakespeare in response to your question about the state of the road that you traveled yourself less than a fortnight ago."

"Yes, indeed!"

Mary turned a bit more serious, and said, "Truly, Lizzy… what was that look he gave you when he left?"

"I have no idea, Mary! I have not the slightest idea. I would think he has a complete and accurate list of my faults, and he seems intelligent enough to keep them in his head. I frankly have no theory at all as to what he is thinking."

"Perhaps, Lizzy, he is not thinking at all."

Elizabeth laughed, and debated the merits of tickling her sister versus finding a cushion from the sofa to throw at her, and eventually decided the moment had passed. After a few more minutes of chatting with her family, Elizabeth decided to take a turn about the gardens before supper.