April 17th, 1988
Dear Diary,
I'm scared. I'm fucking scared. I don't think I can go to school. All the Heathers are dead. I'm the only one left. Everyone's going to be after my head. Figuratively or literally is what I don't know. I don't know how to fix this. Six people have died. I have to get out of here before I lose my mind… or my life.
I know what Westerburg expects of me. I know they want me to step in and take the place of Heather. I can't. I won't. I refuse. I will not be that almighty bitch.
But without one, what will Westerburg be? There isn't anyone else who could easily take the job beside me. I'm torn. I don't want to, but maybe I have to.
All this races through my mind as I lie next to JD. He's asleep and I'm trying to be. We have to get up fro school in like an hour. He's holding me so tightly it's hard to breathe, but I don't care. I know he's just being protective. I thank him for it. I need him. I need his strength to protect me.
I nestle closer to him. It's going to be hard to walk today after that. We fucked hard. Real hard. I was drunk on him and high on the rush until after he fell asleep. Then I started thinking everything through and now here I am.
"Veronica…" he mutters as he pulls me closer to him. His lips are pressed to my forehead and my head is on his shoulder. Our bare bodies are tangled together.
"I love you," I whisper. I know he's asleep, but I need to say it.
I am slowly descending into madness. All my friends are dead, but so are my enemies. They're one and the same.
School was canceled again today. I don't give a shit. It doesn't matter anyway. What matters is how I'm going to fix this.
"A petition," JD says as he paced my bedroom. His eyes are wild. I'm sitting in my bed, curled up in blankets and hiding from the world.
"That would never work. No one would sign a petition for that," I tell him.
"But see there's where you are wrong, sweet Veronica. You may not have accepted it yet, but you have power now. Use it."
"No!" I sit up and look at him. "Are you crazy?"
He chuckles. "Aren't we all?"
I glare at him. "I will not. It's never going to work. And what if we get caught?!"
"We won't. I swear. And in the rare chance we do, I can take the blame."
"No. Hell no!" I stand up and walk to him. "If you haven't gathered this already, we're in this together."
He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against him. "Then one last thing, Ronnie. Let's go out with a bang."
"I…"
"It'll be fun! We can toast marshmallows together! Or cuddle while the fire roars…" He hugs me tighter with a kiss to my cheek. "Don't give up on me now. Finish what we've begun."
I bite my lip and stare at him. What is going through his sick little mind? I press my forehead to his and smile. "Alright. What do I have to do?"
He reaches into his pocket and pulls something out. His fingers run along my scalp and he pulls my hair into a ponytail. A red scrunchie secures it. I run my finger across the fabric.
"We've given to much power to a hair accessory, Babe," I chuckle.
He shrugs. "It's what the people want!"
I smile. "Fine. I'll get people to sign the petition. What are you doing during all of this?"
"That, My Dear, is classified information. Just have a bag packed Monday morning." He taps the tip of my nose and I giggle.
"I will."
He kisses me and I wrap my arms around his neck. "Our love is god," I whisper.
"Our love is god."
"Sign the petition!" I smile as I say it. A fake smile. I'm posted at the front doors of the cafeteria. "Big Fun could be playing at our prom!"
I get nearly everyone to sign. The last few I seek out and make something else up so they'll sign. I feel victorious. JD and I put our bags in my car this morning. It's waiting by the back of the school. During the pep assembly…
Well, you'll see.
I find him in the halls. He presses his lips to my ear. "Did you?"
"Yes." I grin and slip it in his pocket. "Be safe."
"Remember, right when seventh period gets out, meet me in the boiler room." He kisses my cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too. See you then."
I make it to fifth period right before the bell. It's a drag. I chew my bottom lip. I'm nervous, yes, but also kind of exhilarated. Time just had to be so slow today.
Ten minutes left of seventh period. In ten minutes, everyone will go to the gym for the pep rally. I will not.
My stomach is doing cartwheels. I'm staring at the clock and watching the second hand tick. My throat feels like it's closing. I bite my lip madly.
The bell rings. My heart leaps out of my chest. I take in a deep breath and grab my bag. I don't look anyone in the eyes. I just can't.
I press my back against the boiler room door nonchalantly. I try to make it look like I'm waiting for someone while I turn the handle behind my back. I slip into the room and shut the door.
"JD?" I hiss.
"Babe, there you are!" I see his hazy silhouette by some pipes. "I was starting to get worried about you." He waves me over. I go. I press a kiss to his cheek. He hands me the petition. "Check over that while I fiddle with this, will you?"
I nod. "Sure." He's taping the thing he concocted to a pole. I lean against a wall as I scan the petition. Every signature is there. All but ours. "Hey, shouldn't we sign it too? 'Cause if we're pretending to be dead…"
He looks up. "Thank God you caught that." He pulls a pen out of one of his many pockets. We both sign. "There. Now we're free."
"Free." Wow. I tear off the label we put over the top, covering up the real message.
We the students of Westerburg High will die. Our burning bodies will be the ultimate protest to a society that degrades us. Fuck you all.
His idea. All of it was his idea. The only thing I suggested was the day.
This was going to infect our entire generation. It'll be all over the news. A school
explodes from a suicide pact between all the students. The world would see just how oppressed we really are. How they can drive us to do stupid, stupid things.
"Okay. I have it set up. We have two minutes. You get out of here. I'll turn on the timer then we get as far as possible. Got it?" he tells me.
I look over the explosive. A Norwegian, his dad's logo printed on the side, with wires coming out of it. A timer is strapped to the front. Bold red numbers were blinking, ready to count down until detonation.
"Alright. I love you. Please be careful." I kiss his cheek and grab my backpack.
"You too." He smiles at me as I duck out of the boiler room. I shove past the last few remaining students. Little do they fucking know…
I'm climbing down the steps. Footsteps just behind me. I note that they are JD's. We both start to sprint. We dodge behind a car and he holds me close to him. Neither of us knows how powerful it's going to be.
I look at his watch, he set the timer on that too. Five seconds. I squeeze him tighter and we both hold our breaths.
An explosion so loud it could deafen someone plows through the air. I duck into him and he shifts his body, covering me from the flying debris. Ash coats everything and pieces of the building fly at us. When the dust has settled, we both slowly stand up.
"Oh my god," I mutter. The place is leveled. There isn't a single soul to be found. He runs up and sets the note on the still intact stairs and takes my hand.
"We have to get out of here before the cops come," he tells me.
I nod. He's limping. I guess he got hit by something. I wrap his arm around my shoulders and help him into my car. I quickly turn on the engine and drive. I just drive. Far as I can get from the school.
I drive furiously until I make it to the creek. That's where I pull over. I exhale loudly with a groan. "Oh damn, we did it."
He nods. "Of course."
I don't know how to feel. I wanted this, didn't I? I feel sort of guilty, but not as much as I should. That's what scares me. I sit a moment before I snap back to reality.
"Are you alright?" I ask him. His arm is bloody and his face is burned. I touch the cheek that isn't singed.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just a scratch."
"Oh, Baby." I sigh. "Thank you for getting in front of me. You didn't have to do that."
"Yes I did, I have to protect you." He kisses my forehead. "Are you okay?"
"Perfectly fine."
"Good." He grins. We sit in silence a moment, contemplating what we've done.
"You know," I say, "we should probably get out of these clothes." We're both covered head-to-toe in soot and ash. We smell like smoke.
"Or shower." He looks at me and then the creek. I shrug.
"Why not?" I move the car to a more secluded space, shrouded in trees. A little rivulet runs off the main stream and pours into this little pond. The water is crystal clear. We both get out of my car and I grab us both clean clothes. I set them by the edge of the pond and start to unbutton my jacket.
This was my life now. Living on the run and bathing in streams. Sounded kind of fun, real Tom Sawyer-like. My life was an action novel at this point.
JD is unbuttoning his belt as I slip off my skirt. I wade into the water and he joins me. We kiss and he wraps his non-injured arm around my waist. I inspect the bleeding one.
"It looks okay, Babe," I tell him. I cup my hands and scoop up water. I then gently let it run down his arm. He winces. "Sorry, it's gonna sting."
He nods. "Well, it's not that bad. You'll be fine," I say. "We got lucky. It looks like shrapnel or something just grazed it."
JD shrugs. "Oh well. Small price to pay." He then hugs me to him with both arms and we kiss ferociously. We're hungry for each other. He caresses me as I cling to him.
"I love you. And I'm not saying what we've done is right, but…" I don't know what to make of it.
