Why was blood so hard to wash off?
Elissa's hands were raw from how long she'd been scrubbing them. Every time she thought she got it, more would appear under her nails, or in her palms. Was there even any blood at this point? Or was her skin just so red she couldn't tell?
She braced her hands on either side of the wash basin. This was what it was like to be going crazy, wasn't it? She had to be losing her mind.
When Howe had betrayed them, her father had gotten separated from her, Aedan, and their mother before any of them even knew what was going on. They'd found him fending off two of Howe's soldiers, and while he wasn't exactly old, the two younger men had overpowered him. She'd had to drag him into the larder while Aedan protected them.
Her father's blood hadn't given her a problem, but then, she'd been so numb perhaps she didn't notice how long it lingered on her hands. Leliana's, though, she felt like she was cursed to see it forever.
Nothing like watching two people you care about bleed out in your arms. Elissa had vowed to never repeat that mistake she'd made with her father, but she had, hadn't she? She couldn't cast a simple spell to save anyone's life. What kind of mage couldn't do that? It was pathetic.
For several long seconds, she regarded herself heavily in her reflection. What had happened to the resentful child that had fled Highever? What was she turning into? An abomination? An apostate? A noblewoman? A Grey Warden? Who was she?
She decided instead of washing her hands until they bled, she would wash her face. It might clear her mind, help her relax. Maker knows she needed it.
Why did she have to be anything? Couldn't she just be herself?
Morrigan thought she was a clueless child flailing about in situations she didn't understand, but she had originally believed Elissa the more sensible sibling. Wynne thought she was someone who needed mothering, but it was the last thing Elissa wanted. Zevran thought she was some sex goddess to be worshipped, but Elissa never really entertained the thought of sex. Sten thought she was an idiot, but then again, he thought that about all of them. Alistair thought she was just someone lucky enough to become a Grey Warden, even luckier to be one of three to survive Ostagar.
What did Aedan think of her? He didn't disregard her skills in combat like Sten did. He didn't want to cocoon her in a protective shell like Morrigan and Wynne did. He definitely didn't think of her like Zevran did, and if anything, he was grateful she had survived Ostagar, and didn't think she was lucky like Alistair did.
What did Leliana think of her? Out of all their companions, she was the only one Elissa didn't understand. She was a perfectly logical human being, but she claimed the Maker spoke to her? Or sent her some sort of vision? Elissa didn't want to touch that subject with a ten foot pole, and Leliana had seemed happy enough with that, but what did she think Elissa was?
By the door, Sam whined. He was Aedan's mabari, but he spent just as much time with her as he did Aedan. He knew they were two totally different people. He didn't seem to care that Aedan was who he imprinted on. Elissa was just as good to him.
"Me too, buddy," Elissa said.
At least she had Sam to count on. No matter who she was, Sam wouldn't care.
She just hoped Leliana would pull through. Wynne said her skull had been cracked and that it was very lucky she got there when she did. If Elissa hadn't done her best, she probably would have died. She very well still could. She'd lost a lot of blood.
Elissa was really regretting sharing a room with her, though. Wynne insisted she stay out until Leliana woke on her own, but all of her stuff was in their room, so she couldn't even change into different clothes. She doubted Wynne would really enforce that rule; it was still safer to just avoid an argument to just pretend she was listening.
It also left her extremely bored. She was stuck in Wynne's room while she waited. It was the exact same as her room, but something about it made her feel like she couldn't touch anything without invading Wynne's privacy.
These rooms were extremely expensive. They didn't have much coin to begin with, so they'd had to double up. Wynne and Morrigan were supposed to share, but Morrigan hadn't spent any time here whatsoever, so that was a waste. At least they weren't paying for Bodahn and Sandal's room. The two dwarves had branched off at the forest to search for wares to keep up their stock, had met up with them in Redcliffe, and agreed to meet them again at Orzammar.
Then again, they probably thought they were dead. Aedan had made the arrangement to be in Orzammar within a month, but it would take up the remainder of their time just to get halfway there. They hadn't counted on the Circle being in a crisis, or finding the Urn of Sacred Ashes being another crisis in its own way.
Elissa dropped on the floor next to Sam, who immediately moved his head into her lap. Again, he whined, unsatisfied until she rubbed his ears. If he wasn't a mabari, Elissa thought he'd be a great lapdog. He loved attention.
Eventually she ended up laying on him while he sprawled out. His short fur was soft. He made a good pillow and he seemed relaxed enough she might be able to nap on him. She was so worried and anxious; she didn't know how she had any energy left whatsoever. It had been such a taxing day. Sleep would be good.
Or maybe not sitting around. A drink would be good, too. If she got drunk, she wouldn't have to think. That sounded like a good time.
Elissa had situated herself in a corner. It was right by the bar with full view of the dining room and the stairs leading to their rooms. None of the patrons seemed to mind her; to them, she was just another traveler looking to enjoy what little hospitality one could find during the Blight.
There were plenty of nobles milling around, though she didn't recognize any. Elissa never met many people face-to-face, but it would be hard to miss anyone of actual import. Thankfully, however, since many of the nobles here were rather useless, that meant they didn't have to worry about Aedan being recognized, either.
Speaking of Aedan, when the hell would he be back? She didn't even remember where he went. He'd told her, of course, but she'd elected to remain at the tavern with Wynne and Leliana while they went out. She hadn't heard what he said, just knew he said he'd be leaving for a few hours. Had it been a few hours, she wondered? Or had it barely been one?
At her feet, Sam stirred. The front door had opened, allowing the stench of the outside world to permeate the already overpowering odor inside. In marched five men, all tall and broad-shouldered, like they'd spent their lives swinging swords and beating people into the dirt. They were armed—the two in the rear had longswords and shields, while the other three had greatswords.
The heraldry stamped into their chestplates...
Elissa had been in the middle of taking a drink, but she immediately set the mug down and nudged Sam with a toe. Even as she stood, she could feel rage boiling through her veins, but she fought to keep it under control.
Five bears, five knights from Amaranthine, five of Howe's men.
Why didn't they expect this? Wasn't he the Arl of Denerim now?
She could see the hair on Sam's shoulders standing on end. He understood, but she was heading for the steps, so he followed. This wasn't a good place to confront them. This wouldn't help. Fighting them would do nothing, and besides, there were five of them, and one of her. In no way would she be able to beat them, armed or not.
Elissa had barely set foot on the first step when a hand locked around her shoulder. It spun her and his other hand shot forward, locking around her throat.
For a half a second, he eyed her up and down, and she knew. He recognized her. How could he not? Howe would've known they'd survived when they hadn't found their bodies. He would've known when Aedan sent Loghain's man running along at Lothering. He would've told his men to keep an eye out for either of them.
Coming to Denerim was a mistake.
Before he could do anything further, however, Sam snapped his jaws around the man's knee. He cried out in pain, almost in perfect synchronization with the screams of surprise throughout the tavern. The barkeep yelled something, but as soon as his hand released her throat, Elissa doubled over.
She coughed as air flooded her straining lungs. The soldier was struggling with Sam's iron grip. He had been the only one to approach her, his friends having gone to order drinks, but now that he was screaming, they were taking notice.
"Sam..." Her voice gave out, but the hound got the message. He let go of the man's leg and followed as Elissa struggled up the stairs. She ran along the balcony as the shouting increased. Somewhere in there, she swore she heard "Cousland."
Oh, they definitely knew.
Elissa threw herself on the door to her room. Just down the hall, Howe's men were giving chase, but by the time they reached the door, she had slammed it shut, with her and Sam safely inside.
"What are you—"
Wynne's voice was cut off by slamming on the door. It would only be a matter of seconds before they either ended up with a key or broke it down.
It was then she realized she led them straight to Leliana, straight to Wynne, and she had left her sword in Wynne's room.
But on the table with her things, was their family sword. Aedan must've left it there before leaving. They hadn't wanted to bring it into the city with them, but they had little options. Earlier, they had left it with Sten, who apparently understood why swords were so precious, for some Maker forsaken reason. Now, he must've elected to leave it with Elissa, but he couldn't have known Wynne would dismiss her.
She had never even held the damn thing, but she grabbed it anyway.
"What is going on?"
Elissa coughed. Her throat was burning. "Bar...fight."
The sword felt so awkward in her hand. The entire weapon was made from metal, whereas hers had a steel blade and wooden hilt. The hilt was longer and the blade was longer as well; her sword was little more than a shortsword, with just a little more reach. This one had enough space for both of her hands on the pommel if she wrapped them around each other.
But weirdly, it felt good. It wasn't what she was used to, but it felt better.
The ruckus outside calmed for a moment. Sam lowered himself to the ground, growling, and Elissa pointed the sword at the door. As soon as it opened, she would have to get them into the hallway. Leliana was still unconscious and Wynne couldn't really defend herself—if she used magic, this close to the Chantry...
One slam. The doorknob rattled and Elissa steeled herself.
When was the last time this sword had actually seen combat?
Another slam. It sounded like they were kicking it.
It looked as if it had just been sharpened. Was that Aedan? Did he care so much about their sword?
The lock cracked as the door gave way. It wasn't wide enough for them to come in at once, and Sam took down the first of four. Elissa went past him, pressuring the second backwards to protect Aedan's dog.
They would have to leave the moment Leliana was awake, if not sooner.
The hallway wasn't very wide, so it worked out in Elissa's favor. Two men weren't nearly as hard to fight as three, let alone five. Briefly, she wondered where the fifth had gone, but the two men in front of her didn't give her much time to think. They launched into a series of blows only a practiced man could execute so flawlessly.
Left, right, left, right, left...
Elissa blocked a jab for her chest and the soldier stepped in, locking their crossguards. The other took the opening, but Elissa ducked, throwing herself back into the wall while simultaneously freeing her sword. He staggered past, committed to the momentum, and she went on the offensive. Without a shield, it would be hard to stick with her normal fighting style. She couldn't hide behind it and wait for an opportunity. She had to make her own.
They crossed blades again, but this time, she was the one who stepped in. She kneed him in the stomach, leapt back, and drove the sword up through his chest. That was one man down. Two to go.
The one who had been in the back was now coming for her, but she was distantly aware of the one who stumbled coming as well. That weightless feeling was coming back. She was stressed and that stupid spirit was waking up.
"No," Elissa hissed.
Her sword went back over her shoulder to catch his, and she leaned to the side to avoid the other. Her movement. Hers. She chose to take the fight that way.
The weight on her shoulder was gone as Sam dragged down a third. The sound of him ripping into someone's throat was jarring. It was disturbingly meaty, like he was just biting into some animal, even though it was a person.
One on one now. This one had a greatsword and the hallway was cramped. She had an advantage.
Elissa moved first. She feinted a stab for his ribs and at the last second, switched to his bicep. He smacked her sword aside with his pommel, careless, and swung around for her throat. Elissa caught the blow, but he was stronger than she anticipated, and had to use both hands to hold him off.
He leaned into her and she stumbled under the weight. Her knees buckled as she fell to them. Sam came for his ankle, but he kicked. It caught him right in the jaw and Sam fell, squealing.
"Hey!"
Aedan's voice.
The distraction was just enough for her to get back on her feet. She threw his sword off, and while he was reeling, she shoved the sword through his neck.
Aedan came bounding down the hall, Alistair and Zevran on his heels, as she slouched against the wall. Her arms were screaming, her throat hurt, and holy fuck, somehow she'd survived.
Thank the Maker for Sam.
