Anna put a hand on her barely protruding abdomen and scooted to the edge of her seat. "I understand you're a busy woman and I don't mean to make a nuisance of myself or to take up too much of your time. However I-"
"Do not cease to prove yourself exactly the nuisance you hope to avoid becoming with all the time you take up as you bombard me with the same pleas for assistance in your husband's case. Assistance, I'll remind you, that's no sooner in coming this week than it was last week." The woman with dark red hair brushed her fingers at her desk as if Anna's mere presence left traces that might settle there like dust. "I've told you, Ms. Smith, we're-"
"It's 'Doctor' Smith, or 'Mrs. Bates'. Whichever you prefer but please choose one of those since they're more correct forms of address." Anna shifted, "I know you have access to either and just refuse to use it."
"Put your knives back in the drawer Ms. Sharp. There's no need to get testy with me when you're here because I allow you through the doors."
"Then don't demean me with your patronization by the intentional misuse of my term of address. Either use the salutation I fought long and hard to earn or the married name that entitles me to plead here on behalf of my missing husband." Anna took a breath, "Ms. O'Brien, I respect that your patience is growing short with me but mine's been short for a month now as you're no closer now to any answers regarding the safe return of my husband than you were when I first came through the door to your office seeking aid."
"And I'll remind you, Mrs. Bates, that we're not even sure your husband is alive." Ms. O'Brien shook her head. "We can't invest Embassy resources in keeping up a search for a needle in a sand dune."
"It's not a sand dune." Anna reached into her purse and pulled out a note, spreading it out so the creases only bowed the document slightly on the desk. "We received this message, dropped at the Embassy here in Tripoli, from a doctor who treated him. That means my husband was here, and alive, when this was written."
"That was well over two months ago, Mrs. Bates, and given the interviews Doctor Ghaffarian gave our agencies before they put him into protection, the people he worked for move by boat. They could be anywhere in the world now."
"They're based here in Libya. They're on a boat in the Mediterranean. There's satellite tracking for this kind of thing isn't there?"
"And that takes money and resources we don't have and can't offer you." Ms. O'Brien pushed the note back to Anna. "I do apologize, Mrs. Bates, but there's nothing more we can do to aid in the recovery of your husband. I'm sorry."
Anna sat in the chair for a moment, staring at Ms. O'Brien and her uncompromising expression that conveyed pity, disinterest, and resignation in equal measure, before pushing herself to her feet. "No, I don't think you are. But that's alright because I hardly expect you to understand."
"I'm sure there are many things about your life that I don't understand, Mrs. Bates." Ms. O'Brien's face pulled into a tight smile. "Like the disappearance of a Captain Green on your research ship."
Anna locked her jaw. "What's that got to do with this?"
"Nothing much."
Anna waited. "But you mentioned it. Obviously you thought it of enough importance to bring up the topic." She released her hold on the door handle. "So why mention Captain Green's disappearance?"
"Because he did disappear from a ship you were on after, shall we say, some less-than-desirable interactions." Ms. O'Brien's cheeks flushed slightly, as if the conversation renewed the vigor she lost in telling Anna the same answers as always. "A man overboard is a rather regrettable stain on the research company that gave you time on their ship."
"And I was a fool to turn down their offer to use their equipment to search for my husband." Anna managed a tight smile. "They'd have found him by now."
"But not Captain Green." Ms. O'Brien's lips pursed as if she were contemplating something but the glint in her eye betrayed her intention. "As I understand it, you were the last one to see him alive. How awful for you."
"I wouldn't say that."
"What would you say?"
"Unfortunate coincidence."
"Interesting." Ms. O'Brien tapped her fingers together. "But, to the matter at hand, there really is nothing more we can do."
"Because you've done so much already?"
"We did our best, Mrs. Bates."
"I'm sure you're a testament to the work of the government when your best is 'sod all'." Anna scoffed, "What happened to make you so unfeeling toward the plight of your fellow man, Ms. O'Brien?"
The other woman did not respond, only nodded toward the door. "I'm sure you know your way out as well as you do your way in."
Anna opened the door and left the office, resisting the strong urge to slam the office door. But she restrained herself and continued down the hallway to where a man with dark hair and his arm in a sling waited. He stood the moment Anna came close and raised his eyebrows expectantly but they fell the moment Anna shook her head in barely repressed defeat.
"Again?" He pointed his good arm toward O'Brien's office. "You mean to tell me the pride of the Empire's in there and they've got nothing to offer us as to the status or location of their agent?"
"Not even peanuts." Anna folded her arms over her chest, wincing for a second as the paper of the oft-read letter scraped her skin. Folding it back into her pocket, Anna could only sigh. "She says there's nothing they can do. Short of telling me to write off my husband as dead, they're not interested in helping with the search. Which means either the government's already written him off as dead themselves or they're just waiting for me to give up and go home."
"After everything Gillingham told them they're going to roll over and play dead for a rag-tag militia?"
"Apparently." Anna shrugged, "Time and tide are against them and they've no interest in swimming against either."
"Pricks." The man put a hand through his hair before hissing as he pulled at his arm. "At least Sector Seven's doing something."
"They find anything yet?"
"We've run every possible source to ground and worked out that we've got a leak." The man sighed and led Anna out into the blazing sun, both of them taking a moment to find a pair of sunglasses. "It's like when they pump a bike tire full of air and then stick it in water to see where the bubbles come out so they can patch the right hole."
"Are there too many holes to patch for you Blake?"
"After they shot me in Tunis and basically burned our operation there to stubble there really wasn't anywhere else to look but at ourselves." He tapped his injured shoulder gingerly. "We've got a traitor in our midst and I just hope he talks first. Otherwise… Well, we'll just say it won't be the best for him if we've got to use a bit more strong-arm styled persuasion."
"So you've caught the man that sold you out?"
"Yeah but it's never as clean as all that, is it?" Blake guided them down the street, avoiding the traffic and getting them to a nicer hotel. "Turns out it was a mid-leveler. Someone passing along information to try and keep his own secrets quiet."
"Almost makes me pity him." Anna took the key from the clerk and walked with Blake to the lifts. "Can you tell me what they had on him to make him sell you all out like last week's leftovers?"
"He was in a… Let's say he's a staunch friend of Dorothy's and while that's an okay thing nowadays it's… It's still a subject of shame and careful cover-up for some people. His family, for instance, would disown him if they knew and… Barrow got in over his head by sleeping with the wrong man."
"I can tell you there are many women out there that would share that sentiment without a moment's hesitation." Anna leaned against the wall of the lift. "Who was the man?"
"Heard of Duke Crowborough?"
"Only by vicious reputation." Anna opened her mouth, "Isn't he married? To a woman, if I remember correctly."
"Yes and yes." Blake cringed. "But I guess it's par for the course for someone as sociopathic as the man who got out of a hit-and-run that killed a little boy by claiming 'affluenza'."
"Dick."
"My thoughts exactly." Blake put his good hand through his hair before leading them out of the lift. "But the best part is that he's… Loose."
"With morals or everything?"
"Everything." Blake snickered and unlocked the door to his room, allowing Anna to follow him before she unlocked the door joining her room to his. "It's how Mary nailed his ass to the wall."
"Not that is helped us find John."
"No, but it did get us on the right track and freed up Barrow to testify against the bastard." Blake sat on the edge of the bed and carefully removed his sling, testing the reach and stretch of his arm. "Now they're both in jail, for as long as we can keep them there, and we've sealed the leak."
"At the cost of John's life?"
Blake shook his head, "I won't allow this to be the end of his story."
"Is this the moment you tell me you've got enough money to fund a satellite to track a ship sailing in the Mediterranean?"
"Unfortunately I've not got that kind of money." Blake rested his arm back. "And we're trying to wring what we can from Crowborough but, with all we've gleaned, he was a middle-man."
"Another mid-level individual who's got no connections and nothing to offer." Anna knocked her head against the wall once before going into her room. "I'm tired."
"I won't mind a nap myself if you're still on for dinner at-"
"No, you don't get it." Anna faced Blake, shaking her head. "I'm tired of all of it. I'm exhausted and… And I'm done. I'm done relying on the dregs of information we're sucking from the scum of the earth to try and find my husband."
"It's not like you can drag one of the world's largest seas by yourself."
"Watch me." Anna left Blake's room and shut the door so he could not follow her. It took her less than a minute to dial a number on her phone. "Angela Bartlett please. Tell her it's Anna Smith."
She waited another moment before the line clicked. "If you're still looking for an expert on your diving mission… I'm in."
"Anna." She turned over her shoulder to where Blake knocked on the door between their rooms. "Whatever you're doing, it's probably dangerous and I'd advise against it."
"Probably and I understand but I'll not be listening." Anna put the phone back to her ear. "Yes. I'm in Tripoli at the moment but I could get a flight to Athens. No, it won't be a problem. Is the payout still the same?"
Anna dragged her foot in a line over the tile floor. "Yes. I understand that. But I'd like to negotiate for a higher fee. Yes. Well you've not set off yet which means you're still waiting on my unpublished research to start. I could save you the trouble and take the offer for double plus a commission fee on whatever we find." She waited another minute. "I've not got time to argue. There's… It's a matter of life and death and I intend on succeeding."
The interminable pause on the other end of the line finally ended and Anna stopped herself heaving a full-body sigh of relief. "I'll be there by tomorrow. No, I know where to go."
She ended the call and looked to the door where Blake continued to knock on it. Taking a breath, Anna opened it and dodged the stumbling Blake. "Yes?"
"What did you just do?"
"What I could and what, as an adult, I can do without asking permission." Anna moved to her suitcase. "As generous as you've been with your time while I've been here in Tripoli, and even back in Tunis, I think Mary was wrong when she said I could help find John. I'm of no use here."
"You're safe and that's what John would want."
"John wouldn't sit still and wait for someone else to find me." Anna rolled her clothes into the crevices, quickly filling the suitcase with tightly packed materials, and left Blake to take her toiletries from the bathroom. "And if you think I need your permission or some kind of note then I can tell you where you can shove that notion and exactly how hard."
"Anna-"
"No." Anna stopped, dropping the things on the bed and closing her eyes to focus on easing her breathing. "I'm not going to be sidelined in this. I've been informed, which was what I wanted from the beginning, and it's helped but it's not enough. Not when there's something I can do and I intend on doing it."
"And what's what?"
"There's a treasure hunting dive off the coast of Greece. One of the Persian ships supposedly that went down during the mistaken attempt to seize Greece and make it a part of the Persian Empire when Xerxes tried to take Greece over before the Battle of Salamis."
"And you're going diving for it?" Blake gaped at her, "You're pregnant."
"I know that." Anna stuffed her things away and grabbed her bags. "And I know what I'm doing."
"Do you?"
"More than you."
"Then this would be a bad time to suggest that maybe you're acting a little rashly without thinking clearly?"
Anna stared at Blake, "Yes. This would be an exceptionally bad time to suggest something as stupid as that."
"But you're…"
"Pregnant? In a mood? Desperate?"
"I'll just say that you said that first." Blake raised a finger in warning before dropping it with a defeated sigh. "It's not just what I owe John as a brother-in-arms. It's what I owe to Mary and to John's legacy. What'll I tell either of them if something happens to you? Or to your baby?"
"Nothing if we never find and at the rate your division is moving the only chance I have of finding my husband is if I put out a reward." Anna extended a hand to Blake. "I'm sincerely grateful for all the help you've given me but I think we've gone as far as we can go together."
Blake eyed her hand a moment before shaking. "It's been a pleasure, Mrs. Bates. But I do have to ask you—beg if I have to—that you be the one to tell Mary why we're parting ways. Otherwise she'll skin me alive."
"I'll make Mary my call on the way to the airport." Anna picked up her bags again and nodded at Blake. "Good luck on your end."
"And yours."
The rush of the next few hours had Anna changing cars and eventually arguing her way to a ticket for her plane. But once she landed in Athens, Anna finally found a moment to breathe. A part of her wondered if Blake was right and she jumped the gun but once she got going toward a new hotel there was no time to think about it. No time to wonder.
Except when she lay in bed, debating in the darkness as her fingers traced the barely visible signs of life at her abdomen. Anna closed her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing, and thought over the letter. The one scrawled in a script that held all the signs of more calligraphic Persian or Arabic but read clearly in English. The letter written by a stranger, now a nobody somewhere in the bush of Australia or in a hidden moor of England, that read like the words of her husband.
I'm sorry.
I can't tell you how sorry I am. Sorry that someone else must write this for me. Sorry that I can't tell you these things myself. And sorry that you'll worry.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you where I was. That I couldn't get word to you I enough time to let you know that I left and now… That I might never come back. I'm sorry you're probably worried sick about me.
I'm sorry I couldn't call. That I didn't call. That I left you alone.
I'm so sorry that I left you alone. That these words aren't even mine. That someone else must write them for me. I'm sorry for all of it.
I love you, Anna. With everything I have and am I love you. Dearly and completely and without reservation.
I wish we could've gone back to Scarborough and walked the beach together in summer instead of shivering over it in winter. I wanted to take you to Ireland, to show you where I spread my mother's ashes and where my family is buried. I wanted to see the world with you. To complete the world with you and make a world all our own with the family we'd make together.
I'm sorry I couldn't give you that. That there's no part of me left for you and no part of you left for me. I'm sorry that I robbed us of the future we wanted together.
I hope… I pray, if you have to find me, that you'll not weep for too long. There may never be a body to bury and I'm sorry for that too. I'm sorry there might not be closure for you. But if there is a body and you do have the chance to find the closure you deserve, I want you to scatter me to the winds. I want my ashes to, as my mother wishes, rely on the Bible's adage that we're 'ashes to ashes, and dust to dust'.
Scatter me to the winds over the ocean you love so much. Because then, maybe, I can be a part of it. I can become a part of the ocean that you follow and track and know so well. I can always be a part of you then.
I love you.
Anna blinked away her tears and turned into the pillow that smelled faintly of laundry detergent with the air of something utilitarian. She stuffed it under her head and let her fingers settle on her abdomen again. The ease of her breathing finally set her into a doze and Anna focused on the imperceptible movements that signaled the life growing there.
The life that stopped her participating in any of the dives. Anna bordered the ship with far fewer resources than her previous vessel and a more questionable crew but Anna whipped her dive team into shape. They followed her instructions and research to the sites off the coast, diving for set hours during the day as they slowly worked the routes Anna mapped out. But when they had a week without progress there was notable tension with the rest of the crew.
Late into the night, Anna finally tossed her pencil down and buried her head in her hands. Her fingers streaked down her face as Anna studied the maps of the ocean currents before opening her laptop. Blue light cast an eerie glow on her but Anna's eyes glazed and unfocused on the screen before she turned back to the maps. They blurred even worse and Anna ground her fingers into her eyes.
A beep from her computer had Anna squinting at the screen until she finally turned on real lights. They blinded her a moment but Anna adjusted and saw the screen clearly enough to open the email. She smiled at the notes from Dr. Hughes before rereading one.
Reading it again sent her back to the maps and Anna made another mark. One away from where they dove more recently but close enough to be within easy reach by the team. The team that, with the new information, found the wreck and everything still intact.
Anna stood outside the office as the woman finished on the phone. Her knuckles barely knocked on the wood before she entered and stood at the edge of the desk. "I'm sure you've got a lot of people who want to talk to you about the wreck and the discovery but we've got a deal to settle."
"If you cut and run now, you could miss out on a much bigger pay day." The woman tapped an envelop on the desk. "This is only here because of you and I've got at least three other possible sites I could certainly use your help trawling. It'd be this money or better and the payoff in fame'll be better too."
"I've…" Anna shook her head. "I took this job because I needed it. And now that I succeeded I need to move on to why I even got this money in the first place."
"Got another job going?" The woman's eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to cut out from under me?"
"No." Anna shook her head and opened the envelope, thumbing through the money inside. "I'm trying to save my husband."
"He's in trouble?"
"More than you know." Anna nodded at her. "It was… An experience, working with you Mrs. Bartlett."
"Offer's still open in the future."
"I'll consider it." Anna left the office, pulling out her phone as she did to ignore the people chattering in the corridors, and dialed a number.
"Hello?"
"Is this Henry Talbot?"
The pause on the other end of the line almost had Anna biting the end of her tongue. A soft inhale triggered Anna's sigh of relief as the voice answered. "Yes. And who is this and how'd you get this number?"
"John Bates gave it to me, in case of emergency, and I've got one."
"How can I help you Mrs. Bates?"
"Can you rent a satellite for me? I'm ready to find my husband."
They tracked the ship, using sources Talbot cultivated on the DarkNet, with a series of satellite photos to its dock and Blake had a team raiding it within twenty-four hours. Of the men left on board, none of them was John. But under interrogation and a series of offers, one of the men confessed about a second location. One that another team broke open in time bring John out.
Anna's leg bounced up and down in her seat as she waited, hearing the updates from the communication set-up Talbot erected in the tiny little hotel room they rented. She twitched and shivered with each sound and signal until Mary rested her hand on Anna's knee to try and calm her. But all three of them jumped to their feet when Blake's voice sounded over the microphone to tell them they found John and they brought him out alive.
The car could not move fast enough, the very air thickening as if to keep them trapped. But they managed the traffic and the city to make their way to the tarmac where a fully armed team started to remove their gear. Anna did not even wait for the car to stop before she jumped from it, almost tripping on the pavement to rush over to the group as they parted like the sea for her. Parted so she could see John, wrapped in a blanket to try and calm the shudders and mask the thin rail his incarceration had led him to become, and rush to his side.
John did not move at first. Their hands collided and Anna had to stop herself embracing him immediately as part of her feared he might crumble at the strength in her hands. But once John blinked again, his fingers firming on her, his arms tightened around her like a vice and he went to his knees on the ground.
Anna almost tumbled down with him, holding out a hand to stop Mary or Talbot from coming to her aid. Instead she wrapped her arms around John and sank with him. His tears already soaked her clothing, despite the dry heat of the airport, and Anna's soon joined his.
Her fingers caressed through his matted and dirty hair. Her hands ran over his grimy and sallow skin. And she held him all the more tightly as she wrapped her hands about him further than ever before.
Held to him until their tears ran dry.
