Dear strangers,
This is an impulsive, stream-of-consciousness addendum. It has been several years since last I updated this large-scale prank, and frankly, I'd like to revise some of my earlier statements. I was a cynical, deeply-closeted, socially isolated fifteen year old when I started writing To Love Another Soul, and that deeply impacted the way I viewed a lot of the writers on this site.
I originally wrote the story as sort of a double-KO, trying to take down misogynistic fanboys and hyper-sensitive Suethors with one ugly stone. I was angry at a large portion of the Tolkien fanbase for what I saw as gatekeeping, trying to put down female fans for not liking Middle Earth the right way. But I was also angry at a social culture of teenage girls that I didn't understand, namely the part that involved having crushes on boys. I didn't go through that, so I put it down under the pretense of being more mature than everyone else.
In hindsight, that mindset was wrong of me.
I don't regret writing this parody at all. It was one of the most fun years of my life, and I met a lot of great people along the way. I also stand by what I said about constructive criticism - it's the heart of this site; it inspires people to become better writers; it brings people together, and for an author to be outraged that someone critiqued their work or dug too far into its tropes isn't fruitful. Also, frankly, I still think it's a funny parody. But I regret the way that I thought about the authors that I was parodying. There was a difference between making fun of a trope and looking down the people who write it for being fifteen and in love with people who didn't exist. And I kind of shit on teenage girls a lot, mostly because I was one and hated it.
I too was fifteen and in love with people who didn't exist; I just didn't realize it at the time.
So to everyone out there writing Mary-Sues and dramatic love stories, keep writing. Don't be wounded by people who try to give you advice and point out flaws in your writing—they're not doing it because they hate you. They're doing it because they think you're starting out on a path to being a really strong writer, and they want to help you get better. It's difficult to learn to thrive on critique, but critique is the best way to grow as a writer. However, I recognize that many of you aren't doing this for the audience; you're doing it to supplement your own fantasies and escape reality for a little while, you're not taking it too seriously, and in this nightmarescape of 2020 that is a valid exercise. I'm certainly doing it.
People are going to post their opinions, because that's what happens when you put something publicly on the internet. That said, as much as I advocate for criticism, you should never be made to feel ashamed for writing a fan fiction that has Mary Sues, or cliches, or poorly-timed snogging. You should never be made to feel ashamed for your pash on Legolas or your lack of obscure fandom knowledge. You should not be made to feel ashamed or embarrassed for writing yourself into your fantasy, and you should not be made to feel ashamed of your fun personal writing especially when you're a teenager. Being a teenage girl is hard enough. And I regret ever expressing that it was something to be ashamed of.
To anyone who reads this letter, I hope you enjoyed To Love Another Soul. I consider it a fond parody given I've been emotionally entrenched in fan fiction for a long time at this point. I'm quite fond of it (and I'm still very fond of the riff that Library of the Damned did of me back in the day). I'm not fond of my fake Eryn persona, but with this letter, I'm leaving the fic up indefinitely for people to enjoy, to laugh at, to even find romantic if you so choose.
It's up to you.
Best wishes,
Eryn
