Chapter Sixteen

Kohaku slowly limped around the village, not quite ready to go back to Kakashi's apartment yet. He was trying to figure out what he could do to repay him for saving his life. A debt like that was difficult to pay, and he knew it very well.

Except in this case, he was certain that Kakashi could bring nothing but good into his life, unlike the man who had become his mentor after bringing him back from the brink of death and insanity. He knew, deep down in his fragile heart, that Kakashi would never manipulate him or expect him to turn against his village for some nightmarish plot that he thought would fix all the tragedy and problems in the world. He knew and trusted Kakashi.

Lost in thoughts of what to do for Kakashi, Kohaku didn't notice until it was too late, an older man, somewhere in his forties, swerve towards him. They collided, and Kohaku stumbled backwards, glancing up to see what had happened.

The older man put a hand on Kohaku's shoulder to steady him, a predatory smile on his face, sharp teeth yellowed and filed into vicious points. "Sorry about that. I didn't see you there." He pushed his glasses up farther on his face.

Kohaku stared at the man, absolutely certain that he had never met him before, and yet absolutely certain that he had somehow seen that yellowed, sharp fanged smile somewhere before, the sight sending a jolt of terror through his heart. "...it's fine."

"Ah, my, my, such a fox-like face." The man commented, and Kohaku got the feeling that he was in on some sort of joke. "What's your name, little fox? Mine is Senga Matabei."

"...Tenko Kohaku." He replied with some reluctance. Kohaku did not trust this man, and every fiber of his being wanted to flee.

Matabei laughed and leaned closer. "My, how fitting. I wonder how you'll ascend the heavens, Tenko-chan."

Kohaku turned away slowly. "Goodbye." He could not stay there any longer, fighting against the chill that ran down his spine.

"Until we meet again, golden fox." Matabei whispered, his voice carrying on the wind, giving the impression of a bad omen.

Unable to shake off the uncomfortable feeling that Matabei had given him, Kohaku quickly hurried away, making a beeline for Kakashi's apartment. A thank you gift could wait for now.

Very few things had ever made Kohaku feel that way. Actually, only one thing had ever made him feel that sort of fear, and he was certain that he had left it far behind. It was just a coincidence and Matabei was just a creepy guy that he'd had the misfortune of bumping into.

By the time that Kohaku made it back to Kakashi's apartment, he had thoroughly convinced himself that he had just run into some creep that was really good at making people uncomfortable.

Kohaku quietly let himself into Kakashi's apartment, locking the door behind him for safe measure. He glanced around, glad to see Kakashi reading an orange book at the table.

He tilted his head as he examined the title before Kakashi vanished it away. "I didn't realize you read that sort of book." He said quietly, going over to his box of things that he'd left by the couch. He dug around in the box for a moment before retrieving a book and bringing it over to Kakashi. "Someone gave this to me, but it's not quite my sort of book."

Kakashi stared at the cover, somewhat startled to find that it was another book in the series he had been reading recently, Icha Icha Paradise. He took the book hesitantly and glanced up at Kohaku.

"You can have it." Kohaku said simply, passing the book over and going back over to his box. He retrieved a set of fox pajamas that Hisayo had gifted him and went into the bathroom to change.

He came back after several moments, fear chilling his heart a little. He wasn't sure if he was ready to talk about what had happened to him all those years ago, but...he was going to have to eventually, whether he spoke about it to Kakashi first or Minato first.

Perhaps if he spoke about it with Kakashi first, then he wouldn't show so much vulnerability in front of Minato and whoever else ended up being present when he finally told the truth.

"Kakashi…" Kohaku sat down on the couch and avoided looking at him. "I'm...ready to tell you about what happened to me, what happened after I went over the edge of the cliff." His voice was soft, carrying the faintest tremor.

For a moment, Kakashi didn't say a word. "Are you sure?" He asked finally, staring at Kohaku with hesitance and something that he was beginning to recognize as guilt.

"Yes." Kohaku replied without hesitation. "I'm going to have to speak of it eventually, and...I'd rather it be you to see my vulnerability than anyone else. I trust you will treat me gently." His gaze shifted up to meet Kakashi's gaze for a moment before he glanced away again, a soft sigh escaping his lips. "You saved my life, and...for that, I don't mind laying my soul bare to you. I...I entrust to you my heart, my soul, and my life."

Kohaku meant every word of it, although he wasn't aware of the other connotations his words could have. He didn't catch the way Kakashi's cheeks went red just above his mask, or the way his one visible eye widened with shock. He was unable to meet Kakashi's eye, wondering why his cheeks were burning all of a sudden.

Several moments passed in silence before Kakashi finally got up and made his way over to Kohaku, sitting down next to him. As he watched the quiet shinobi, he couldn't help but think that even though his pajamas were rather silly, he was sort of cute.

Tilting his head ever so slightly, Kohaku snuck a glance at Kakashi, struggling to find the words to begin his story. It was complicated, and he was just a little scared that Kakashi would turn against him when it came to a certain point.

"You don't have to talk about it." Kakashi reminded him quietly, absentmindedly patting Kohaku's head. At this point, it was almost second nature to just pat his head; Kohaku seemed to like it, and his hair was soft and downy, like the feathers on a baby duck.

"No, I think I do." Kohaku said, leaning into his touch. "I can't let my past control me anymore." He shut his eyes for a moment. "I want you to know that you're not responsible for what happened to me. There was nothing you could have done to change things, so...I don't want you to feel guilty."

"...There's a lot I could have done for you." Kakashi said softly. "I could have gone after you. I could have come back for you."

"You're wrong." Kohaku said simply. "It was my decision, and I made it so that you could get away. It was a decision that I would make again, even now. For you, and for the lives that were saved because I gave you the chance to get back home. You could not have stopped me."

Kakashi frowned, staring at Kohaku for a moment before hesitantly pulling him into a hug. "You've changed more than I thought. I'm glad you're alright." He said softly, though his actions said more than his words, his arms wrapped around Kohaku so tightly, as if he were afraid he would disappear again if he let go.

"I'm still the same as I was then, but maybe...I'm a little more broken than I was before." Kohaku opened his eyes and reached up with one hand to pat Kakashi's head reassuringly.

"That's not true." Kakashi replied softly, pulling away after a moment, but keeping one arm around Kohaku. "You're...warmer." He tilted his head, wondering if perhaps Kohaku had always been all these things, and he was just noticing now.

Kohaku shook his head a little, but couldn't help but smile a little. "We're getting off topic." He pointed out, feeling rather embarrassed about the direction this conversation was going in.

"I suppose you're right." A soft sigh escaped Kakashi's lips. "Sorry."

A frown crossed Kohaku's face, but he shook his head. "You don't have to apologize." He said quietly, glancing down at his lap as he tried to figure out how to begin his story in a way that made sense.

Kakashi just watched him in silence, running his fingers through Kohaku's soft hair absentmindedly. Concern surfaced briefly from the depths of his dark grey eye, but quickly vanished as Kohaku began to speak.

"I don't really know how long I spent down in those caves. I'd guess it was somewhere around a year or so, but I didn't really sleep and most of the time there was no light." Kohaku sighed, shifting nervously. "I only survived the fall because the shinobi I took down with me broke my fall."

Unconsciously, Kohaku scratched at the long scar along his arm. It was a nervous habit that he had picked up in the rare moments that he had time to rest while he was in the caves, knowing that he shouldn't pick at the wound, and yet unable to stop. It had taken much longer to heal than normal, having become infected from a lack of proper medical treatment.

"Kohaku?" Kakashi gently took Kohaku's hand in his own to keep him from scratching.

"Sorry." Kohaku relaxed and let out a sigh. "At first, I was alone the entire time, trying to find my way out. And then something began to follow me. I don't really know what it was; all I ever saw were its claws and fangs in the few spots of light I managed to find. Every time I managed to slip away, it would find me hours later. I started to think I was going crazy, and sometimes I still think I am, that I was hallucinating it because I hadn't slept in so long, but…"

"But?" There was a strange hesitance in Kakashi's voice, as if he was afraid of the answer that Kohaku would give him.

"There was one time that I was too slow." Kohaku shifted around so that his back was facing Kakashi, and lifted up his fox-print shirt to show him to scars, pulling his long hair over his shoulder.

Four jagged scars began at his left shoulder, and went all the way down to his lower back, stopping at the base of his spine. Most of the time they were hidden by his haori, which he had added to his wardrobe for that very reason. He got enough stares with the scar on his face, and he didn't really want anyone looking at these ones as well.

He was used to people staring at him, but that didn't mean that he liked it. It was especially bad when they stared at his scars. He could see the questions swimming in their eyes and the way that people gave him a wide berth on the streets of unfamiliar villages.

Kohaku stiffened when he felt Kakashi's fingertips on his shoulder, where his scars began, tracing each of the jagged scars ever so gently. After a moment, he relaxed and shut his eyes. He felt safe, and was certain that Kakashi would never harm him.

"Kohaku…" Kakashi seemed at a loss for words as he pulled his hand away to allow Kohaku to pull his shirt back down.

Slowly, Kohaku shifted around, tilting his head. "It's not your fault." He said softly, frowning at Kakashi.

After a moment, he shifted closer to Kakashi again, shivering not from the cold, but from the thought of those glistening fangs and claws. He glanced down at his lap, wondering how much more he could say before he triggered a panic attack. He hadn't even spoken the worst of it yet.

"Kakashi...can I admit something?" He asked finally, trying to give Kakashi at least a little space, instead of snuggling against him like he wanted to, craving another hug.

"Of course." Kakashi replied, resting his hand on Kohaku's shoulder gently.

"For years, I have felt as if I am lost at sea in the middle of a storm, the waves trying to drag me deep below the sea, everything too loud and everything beneath my feet unstable." Kohaku paused for a moment, carefully choosing his words. "But with you, everything is calm and quiet. You have made me feel safer than I ever have in my life, and...I cannot help but want to repay you somehow."

Kohaku paused again, staying quiet as Kakashi pulled him into another hug. He'd convinced himself for so long that no one could ever or would ever love him because he was so strange. He'd convinced himself that he would spend the entirety of his life alone in the shadows because he was unwanted, but now...he was beginning to wonder if there was another path open to him.

"I'm sorry." Kohaku said after a moment. "That was a strange thing to say, and I'm off topic." He let out a heavy sigh, continuing before Kakashi could speak, "it was after the beast caught me that I was saved. I know I'm going to sound crazy when I tell you who saved me, but it's the truth. I couldn't make it up if I wanted to, and I still don't know why he would save me. There was no real part I could play in his plan, as far as I know."

"Who was it?" Kakashi asked, narrowing his eye as he watched Kohaku. The feeling he got from the words that his friend spoke was bad.

"...Uchiha Madara."