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Chapter III: My sweet demon. My sweet Doctor." 'Just give him some time, Crowley is not that bad; I mean, he may seem rude at first sight, but, trust me, once you know him better, you'll figure out how nice he really is.'!" The Doctor says out loud, mocking one of the many things Aziraphale told him during the five days they spent together. "At second sight, at third sight, at fourth sight, even at twenty thousand and fifth sight I'll still find that demon so impossibly rude!" He goes on rambling, kicking an empty bucket on the floor to give vent to his rage, before calming down.
He takes in his hands the bucket he kicked and sits on the floor. "Well, what I know for sure is that I can't stay here forever... not even for ten minutes more!" He ponders, checking his pockets and the things in the room.
A clear plan of escape appears in his oh-so-clever mind.
He grins maniacally and gets ready to work.
Crowley steps out of the library with a huge grin. He hadn't felt so satisfied since he fooled Hastur with that phone trick.
Yeah, he managed to break free, but Crowley had finally discorporated him, inside his burning Bentley.
Of course, it's not that he means to discorporate the Doctor.
- That just will teach him not to take what is not his!- the demon ponders.
If Crowley were honest with himself, he should also acknowledge that the Doctor allowed him to spend alone with Aziraphale the exact amount of time the alien had.
- Yeah, but he deserves a little lesson anyway! - he dwells with own conscience - because, deep inside, even demons must have one- before reaching the Bentley.
"What about the wine? The special occasion?" Aziraphale asks, taking a further look around. "The Doctor?" he hesitates.
"Well, your precious Doctor decided at the very last second that he had many more interesting adventures to face and went back to his stupid blue box." Crowley explains, putting himself at the wheel.
"Ohh.." the blond murmurs, as the demon pretends not to see the upset pout on his awesome features.
"Well, a whole day with you sounds like a special occasion anyway." Aziraphale adds, trying to recover, giving him the sweetest of his smiles.
Deep inside, Crowley feels like he doesn't deserve such a smile.
After almost two hours of their enjoying the quiet of the park and the warmth of that sunny day, a very familiar voice interrupts their almost nap.
"This park is so huge to explore, before finding you!"
Both Aziraphale and Crowley startle, instantly awake, but for very different reasons: the first due to happiness, the second... due to terror.
- How the bloody heaven did he manage to break free from my personal Alcatraz? Fuck, I'm doomed, he's going to tell Aziraphale what I did to him… -
"Still proud of myself that in 1532 I made Henry purchase that area of marshland along the Tyburn and made him order all the reclamation work . Look what a wonder it's become!" the Doctor grins, sitting between them.
- Huh, okay, he's not talking about what I did. Not yet at least. - Crowley considers, still tense.
"Henry, like King Henry VIII? Oh please, as if you really met him and discusseed this stuff with him!" the demon scoffs.
"I did, among sumptuous lunches and court dances!" the Time Lord points out "I like dancing." he smirks.
"Oh, I love dancing too. Any chance you can take us back to the good old times of the Gavotte?" the angel hazards.
The Doctor lights up.
"Oh, dear, don't you know the Gavotte is one of my fave dancing? Suggestions accomplished!"
- Oh, no, no, nonononononono…- Crowley becomes even more nervous after such a display of things in common between those two.
"Speaking of Henry, actually I met him and talked to him too, at least a couple of times… from whom do you think he got this funny idea of having all those wives?" he sneers, proudly, also managing to bring the conversation back to him.
"Oh, Crowley, I should have known!" Aziraphale rolls his eyes at the sky. "How can it be we hadn't met? I was there too in those years.. you know, with the schism and all… I had to go put a lid on such a mess… I suggested the Anglican church thing!" the blond confesses.
"How can it be that you and I haven't met already then, my dearest?" the Doctor murmurs, wrapping his arms around Aziraphale's waist.
"Such a pity!" Aziraphale purrs in his embrace, before recalling something important.
"You know, I thought you wouldn't come to this picnic... "
The Doctor glares at Crowley so quickly that Aziraphale doesn't notice.
"Of course I wanted to come, I wouldn't miss this day for anything else in the Universe," the Time Lord smiles sweetly at the angel. "I would have reached you even earlier but I was trapped…"
- Here we go, I'm fucked! - Crowley prepares to face the consequences of his reckless actions.
"... by all the beauty of this town. I took a long walk to get here, that's why I didn't catch up with you immediately." the brunette adds.
Aziraphale beams hearing that, while Crowley turns into the quintessence of astonishment.
"Ooohh, so that's the interesting adventure Crowley spoke of." the blond figures deduces.
"And it was an adventure, indeed!" the Doctor remarks, exchanging a look with Crowley.
- He's just torturing me, waiting for the right moment to strike! - Crowley decides.
"But now, here we are in this amazing park. Look at the ducks! Don't' you know they were used to being fed by secret agents who came here to talk about their missions? And every agent had a different kind of bread. The Russian's black one must be their favorite. Next time I'll bring it with me." the brunet reminds himself.
"But ducks listened to the secret agent's speeches, because they have ears, right?" Crowley ventures to ask.
"Oh well, I've never wondered about it.." the Time Lord babbles. "But we could find out!" he suggests, grinning maniacally.
Crowley mirrors his grin, before recovering.
- No wait, are you fraternizing with your enemy, now? - he scolds himself. - Yeah, right… Why isn't he acting like an enemy, by the way?-
He will just have to find out.
"Maybe another day!" he shrugs, going closer to Aziraphale and making a little bag of breadcrumbs appear in his hand.
"Here, angel, I know how much you like feeding them, even if you're not an agent," he winks at him, handing the crumbs to him.
"Well, I am, sort of, agent of Heaven. Agent and angel are such similar words!" the blond chuckles.
"Whatever, in the meantime I must discuss a couple of things with the Doctor," Crowley announces before grabbing the Doctor by an arm and walking towards a more private area with him.
"Okay, Doctor, I have two big questions."
"Shoot," the Doctor smirks. "I mean, the questions not me!" he snickers nervously. "I know you would."
"Naah, I don't hate you… that much." Crowley shrugs, before getting to the point. "The first question is … why didn't you tell anything to Aziraphale? I mean, you could have made us quarrel for centuries… and yet you kept our secret." he stares at the alien, confused.
"Crowley, Crowley, Crowley… the sooner you figure out I am not your enemy, the better," he states. "We have a goal in common, doesn't mean we have to make war with each other."
"It doesn't?" Crowley repeats, not sounding very convinced.
"Nope. I know you demons aren't too keen to share, but, trust me, it's a very pleasant thing, especially if Azi doesn't feel guilty nor awkward about it," he explains. "Did he act cold or reluctant with you in these five days?"
"Not at all, quite the contrary!" the demon answers, in awe.
"See? It can work." the gorgeous Time Lord smirks. "Plus, there's another reason I kept our secret: you know, I don't like the spy attitude… acting like a teacher's pet who is tattling on one of his misbehaving schoolmates."
"Hey, no teacher's pet here. I didn't tattle or spy, Azi saw you making me leave your stupid space box on purpose!" the demon accuses him.
"As he saw you knocking me out at the library. We're even." the Time Lord strikes back.
"I guess we are. Okay, second big question is… how the heaven did you manage to break free?"
The Doctor grins.
"I was dying to answer this question! Well, if you really want to put me out of the picture, don't lock me inside a room with so much at my disposal."
"So much at my disposal?" Crowley mocks him. "Do you really call some brooms, detergent, rags and a bucket 'so much at my disposal'?"
"Of course I do. Because I happened to have in my pockets some sand from Mars, some dust from the Moon and some biophotonic azote that, you know, can always come in handy," he begins his explanation. "The detergent had lemon juice inside, just what I needed to ignite the reaction. I poured them all in the bucket, mixed them for a while, then I plunged the broom inside the chemical solution and it turned into a temporary material convertor, which allowed me to pass through your Alcatraz door as if it was butter," he smirks, clearly proud of himself. "Piece of cake!" he shrugs, walking away.
Crowley still has to recover from the big headache he caused him - yep, even demons can suffer of that.
"Piece of cake!" he repeats with a mocking attitude, before reaching the alien.
"Well not so much a 'piece of cake' if it almost took you two hours to get out." He retorts.
"Actually I created the temporary material convertor … geez, it's such a long name, from now on let's just call it tmc… " the Doctor rants, before recalling what he was saying. "I create the tmc in less than ten minutes. The hardest part was to get to the park with no money, I really should start taking money with me… I just had some sestertius from my last trip in Ancient Rome. At least, if I had my sonic screwdriver I could have turned them into modern money or "withdraw" from a cash machine," he pauses, to mime the inverted commas with his fingers. "Or hack the price meter of a cab… nothing like that, thanks to you!" he rolls his eyes at the sky. "So, I've tried hitchhiking, but, geez, when did humans turn so selfish, uncaring and diffident? Not even one car stopped!" he complains, making the other laugh.
"With such a madman face? Well, I don't blame them!" the redhead scoffs.
"We wear the same face, you moron!" the Time Lord retorts.
"That's why I never hitchhike, you dumbass!" Crowley gets the last word.
"Weren't we walking through the path of peace?" the brunet rhetorically wonders.
"Yeah right!" the gorgeous demon snorts.
"So, for a moment I thought about using the Tardis, but travel within the very same day can be too risky if you make the timelines…"
"Please, have bloody mercy of my bloody headache and get to the bloody point: how did you get here?" Crowley snaps, circling his temples with his fingers.
"Lucky for me, I remembered I still had my psychic paper and I made a taxi driver believe I was a policeman and we had to chase a criminal's car until we reached the park," the other explains.
"Your psychic what?" the demon frowns.
His only anwer, the Doctor draws the blank paper from his pocket and makes Crowley watch it.
"Psychic paper, you'll read inside it whatever I want." he explains and it's only a matter of seconds, before it happens.
A very scared Crowley searches into his pockets, until he finds the sonic screwdriver and throws it away in a hurry.
The Time Lord grabs it very athletically.
"Thank you, dear!" he smirks.
"Throw it the fuck away, that thing is going to explode any minute and I don't want to discorporate!" Crowley yells at him, nervously.
The Doctor burst out laughing.
"That's what I made you read. See how powerful my psychic paper is?" he smirks shrewdly, putting both the paper and the sonic screwdriver in his pockets.
Crowley finds himself smirking with him.
"Ohh, that thing is dead useful and wicked, too. I like it."
"Hey, you two!" Aziraphale walks towards them. "I'm done feeding the ducks, now I'm the one who's peckish, how about starting to eat?" he suggests, silently glad that he didn't catch them in the middle of a fight.
-
The picnic goes on so serenely and peacefully among the three of them that there's only one way to end it properly.
They all go to the ice cream cart and Aziraphale offers for them all. Actually, he is the only one who has real money, earned from his bookshop.
"A strawberry lolly, a vanilla ice-cream and… for you, dear?" he turns to the Doctor.
"Huh? Anything, as long as it has banana in it," he murmurs.
"I'm afraid I have no banana ice-cream, Sir," the seller informs him.
"Whaat?" the Time Lord frowns, upset and walks closer to the cart grabbing his sonic screwdriver. "May I?" He politely asks.
"Sure." the seller grumbles, sort of confused.
"Huh well, he just likes playing with … torches!" Aziraphale justifies, with a frozen smile, as the Doctor scans the cart with the blue light.
"Could you please check again?" he asks the seller, even more polite.
"I've already told you that we don't have.. huh! How this banana lolly ended up here?" the old man frowns, handing the ice to his weird customer.
"Thank you. And you should add it to your menu, it's extremely good!" the Doctor grins, eating his treat happily.
"You're impossible!" Crowley snorts, although deep inside he's amused.
"Good Heaven, you guys get along so well than I almost don't recognize you. This is wonderful!" the angel beams, as they walk away.
They get along so well that Crowley even allows the Doctor to go inside the Bentley and the Doctor behaves, enjoying the trip and the car without doing anything odd.
They reach the bookshop and the Doctor glances at the Tardis.
"Anyone up to a nice time travel?" he suggests. "And yeah, Crowley, from now on I'm going to take you with us," he points out, making the demon smile.
He's the first one to rush inside, once the doors are open.
"Where and when this time?" Aziraphale wonders, thrilled, hugging Crowley, as the Doctor sets the computer board.
"It's a surprise. You're going to love the destination!" he grins excitedly.
- Love is the keyword, after all. And Peace. Peace and Love. - He muses.
The Tardis starts flying and Aziraphale and the Doctor exchange an understanding look.
"Should we tell him?" the Doctor asks.
Aziraphale thinks about that for a while.
"Naah!" he shrugs at the end.
"Tell me what?" Crowley interrogates them.
He doesn't like their complicity one bit, but mostly he wonders why they're holding so tight to some structures.
"Wwwoooaahh!"
He finds out in the worst way, when the turbulence starts and he's shunted around every corner, before falling on the grill grates.
"Ouch! Okay, now it's sodding clear why you are holding on!" he grimaces in pain.
Carefully and gradually, Aziraphale moves to him.
"Oh, c'mon, it was fun!" the angel chuckles.
"It never ceases amusing me!" the Doctor giggles.
"Okay, so now I have two bastards to deal with!" the demon whimpers, trying to recover from the blows.
"There, there, kiss it and make it better?" Aziraphale offers, rolling up his black T-shirt in order to start kissing Crowley's aching hip.
"Ooohh, I like it!" he moans.
"I'm tempted to let go and hurt my crotch if you will kiss it and make it better, Azi," the Doctor murmurs.
He's watching them, making the angel blush.
"No way, Doctor, he can kiss you, hug you, cuddle you and things like that, but Azi has to do the big stuff with me, before!" Crowley points out, jealousy sparkling from his eyes.
He actually lost his dark glasses during the shunts.
"Oh, don't worry, little stuff is more than welcomed!" the Time Lord agrees.
- For now. -
The Tardis finally lands and the Doctor opens the doors.
Crowley and Aziraphale rush to the threshold to peep out and see a multitude of people in a very large green field.
"Is it Noah's ark? No wait, people weren't dressed so colourfully and didn't look so happy…" Aziraphale mumbles confused.
"Woooahhh! This is Woodstock, Doctor, you're so cool!" Crowley rejoices, recollecting his sunglasses and walking towards the Time Lord.
"Exactly, my friend. We are in Bethel, New York, and it's Friday 15 August 1969. It's 3:10 p.m. and if we hurry up we should be able to see the beginning of the concert in less than two hours," the Doctor instructs them, ready to leave the Tardis.
"Wait, Doc, are you going to leave the TTAABB like this? In the middle of this crowd? Doesn't it look a tad suspicious?" Aziraphale worries.
"What is the TTAABB?" Crowley frowns.
"The spaceship we've just used, I invented it, it's short for The Travelling Around Anywhere Blue Box," Aziraphale explains to him.
"Oh, it fits perfectly!" the demon nods.
"No, it bloody doesn't!" the Doctor snaps. "Sure, I don't expect you call it Time And Relative Dimension In Space, but at least TARDIS!" he remarks.
"I prefer the name Azi invented!" Crowley strikes back.
"No wonder you would!" the brunet rolls his eyes at the sky. "However, my TARDIS is a living creature, she suffers if you don't call her with her proper name… it's almost as if I called, I don't know, you, Snake Eyes and you, Puffy Bow-tie!" he explains.
"Well, I don't mind, Burnt Spaghetti Head!" Crowley teases him.
The Time Lord glares at him in a way that the demon figures out on his own it's better to quit the joke.
"Okay. TARDIS. Got it and no weird names for you."
"Well, I liked Puffy Bow-tie," Aziraphale pouts.
"Don't worry, my darling, I can call you that in our intimacy," the Doctor winks at thim, stealing a quick kiss.
"Anyway, yes, Azi, trust me, we can leave it like this. You know, all the people here are in a particular condition that won't make them notice anything stranger than usual." he informs him. "Probably Crowley knows what I'm talking about!" he adds and the demon nods proudly.
"Of course I do," he giggles.
"I don't have any idea what you two are babbling about, I just know that the air here smells funny!" the angel grumbles.
"That's exactly the point, angel!" the redhead giggles even more.
"Just a thing, before we go. Crowley, would you mind getting us the proper outfit? It would take too long to search in my wardrobe." the Time Lord asks.
Just a snap of the demon's fingers and they all are wearing large blue jeans and psychedelic T-shirts.
"Awesome, now we can really go!" the Doctor grins and they finally step out.
"I was here. No, wait. I am here. There's another me around here somewhere!" Crowley figures out.
"Oh, please, don't go search for him and if you ever see him, do NOT touch him, for any reason!" the Doctor summons him. "I just don't have time to deal with those giant horrible birds…" he mutters.
"I guess he's sniffing this air way too much!" Aziraphale whispers to Crowley, making him giggle.
They manage to reach a nice spot and by 5:07 p.m. they hear the first notes of 'High Flyin' Bird' by Richie Havens.
"Maybe it's the horrible giant bird he was ranting about before…" Crowley whispers to Aziraphale, making him chuckle.
"Don't think I can't hear you and nope, it's not that…" the Doctor grumbles. "Now enjoy the music and shut up!"
And that's what they do.
On the second day they're still there for the concert that starts at 12:15 p.m. but the Doctor is busy talking with a weird guy and by 2:00 p.m. he's back to the duo, holding a small bag full of something Crowley recognizes immediately.
"Oh-oh-oh, looks like there's going to be a trip in the trip!" he grins.
"What?" Aziraphale frowns.
"Well, Azi, Crowley is right. I think this is the best way to really enjoy this experience." the Doctor suggests. "I've tried very powerful stuff on other planets, but this remains one of the funniest. So, who's good with the rolling papers?"
It's not easy to establish who looks more stunned when Aziraphale raises his hand.
"Azi, d-do yo-you really…" Crowley stutters, in disbelief.
"Yeah, what do you want? A paper boat, airplane, hat, elephant? I've attended an origami course, I'm good with folding papers…"
Both Crowley and the Doctor burst out laughing.
"What? What did I say so wrong?" the angel frowns in deep confusion.
Crowley slides closer to him, rubbing the tip of his nose against his right cheek and wrapping an arm around his neck.
"See, now you see, alien boy, why I love him so damn much?"
The Time Lord slides closer from the opposite side, pecking Aziraphale's left cheek and wrapping an arm around his waist. "And I can't help doing the same."
"I still don't understand, but I feel so loved!" the angel beams, enjoying that moment.
"Okay, I got it, I'll take care of the weed," the Doctor decides, proving to be a flawless roller.
When the first joint of Cannabis is ready, he's the first one to smoke it, then hands it to Crowley who finally hands it to Aziraphale.
The angel tries to mirror their actions and ends up coughing rather violently, amazing the other two; but when it's his turn again he doesn't refuse it.
This amazes the other two even more.
After the third joint they share, Aziraphale feels much more lightheaded and keeps giggling.
He must have figured out the real meaning of the motto Peace and Love.
He embraces and kisses first one of his lovers, then the other and goes on like that.
To everyone else's eyes he looks like a lucky, awesome guy who hooked up with two very hot twin brothers.
After all, the same outfit makes them even more identical than before, save for the hair.
"My sweet demon…" he murmurs, kissing Crowley deeper than the previous times, before wobbling to the expectant Time Lord's arms. "My sweet Doctor," he whispers, kissing him the same way.
"My sweet demon. My sweet Doctor." He repeats like a mantra, before falling with his back on the grass, staring at the starry sky.
Actually it's only 6.20 p.m. in the middle of Summer, but Aziraphale can see stars anyway and giggles.
All those kisses made both Crowley and the Doctor taste each other, even if indirectly.
"You taste galactic," Crowley murmurs, savouring it better.
"You taste demonic," the Doctor strikes back, with a smile, before walking closer to the redhead, in a sort of seductive way. "Are we going to find out how it tastes in a less indirect way, mm?" he offers, leaning closer.
Crowley is almost tempted, but still sober enough to back off at the very last time.
"Ngk! Maybe in the next millennium!" he grumbles.
Aziraphale enjoyed the whole scene and chuckles.
"Told yaaa you would get aaalooong!"
"Okay, it's not a problem for me to wait 'till next millennium!" the Doctor sneers.
"Hey, wait, I know you, Time Lord, it's not that because now we are in 1969 when we go back it will be the next millennium! I mean a millennium from our days in 2019 and I mean a real millennium to wait for, no tricks with your TTAABB to jump in 3019!" Crowley points out.
"Boring!" the alien snorts "And DO NOT call my Tardis like that!" he snaps.
"'I know, but I just like to see you so pissed off!" the demon smirks, with an affectionate slap on his cheek.
"It's going to be a very long millennium!" the Time Lord rolls his eyes at the sky.
"Believe me, he will be worth the wait!" Aziraphale winks at him, before jumping to his neck. "'And in the meantime don't forget that you have me!" he cuddles him.
"Couldn't ask for a better way to kill the time." the brunet smiles sweetly at the angel, ruffling his hair.
TBC
Notes:
If when I mentioned 'Henry VIII' you think about those hottie named Jonathan Rhys Meyers ('The Tudors'), you did the right thing ;) I find Canon enough that the Doctor can have anything in his pockets (Eleven had a glass filled with water, lol) and that he can do a lot with few things at his disposal, more than anyone else Ten can, give him a pen and an elastic band and he will build a spaceship XD The horrible giant birds reminds of one of the best episode with Doctor Nine, in my humble opinion 3 Hope you'll like it, but if you don't feel free to exterminate me with biophotonic azote (if only I knew what it is, lol)
By the way, I haven't the slightest idea about what I made him create, but it sounded like a Doctor thing, lol ^^'
I saw that screwdriver doing anything but the screwdriver, LOL, so it's not hard me to picture the scene of the Doctor creating a banana ice-cream changing the molecules of the other items inside the cart.
About the Cannabis, it doesn't mean to be something non-educative and no offense intended. I guess the Doctor must have tried anything in any planet; about Crowley, oh c'mon, such a sinful demon XD And Azi is so curios… I just had to make it happen at Woodstock! ;)
