The coronavirus pandemic and subsequent shutdown of many countries has affected almost everyone in one form or another. For me, separated from work and stuck at home, it's resulted, not surprisingly, in depression. I had decided to put the story on hiatus (although I kept writing), because I thought it might be inappropriate to keep posting when everyone had bigger things to worry about. And who would have time to read my little story anyway? But after a lot of thought, I am going to keep going. For those that don't feel up to reading fanfic right now, I completely understand... and I hope to see you come back to the story someday. But if Corrine and Harry's saga provides anyone even a few moments of escapism, then I want to keep sharing it. If you're still reading, I'd love to hear your thoughts, as always. Until next time, stay safe and healthy, Dear Readers.
Speaking of my Loyal Readers, thank you for your fantastic reviews! And special thanks to Rosie, for also being the most supportive cheerleader and sounding board an author could ever ask for - and for giving me a reason to keep writing :) XOXO
They had emerged into a scene from hell.
The lifeboats that Corrine had seen sitting peacefully in their davits the other day had been stripped and swung out level with the edge of the boat deck. Ropes were lying uncoiled all over the deck, and crewmembers swarmed about the boats, readying them for lowering and shouting orders to one another. Groups of passengers in lifebelts, some with children, rushed to and fro, or waited near the lifeboats. All looked anxious; by now the tilt of the deck was obvious, and she saw fear and trepidation in many faces. Some ladies stood sobbing, clinging to husbands or brothers as sailors and stewards stepped over the lines and attempted to steer them toward the boats. Other women had to be forcibly pulled from their male companions, and one was lifted bodily away and carried toward a boat, screaming for her husband at the top of her lungs as he waved cheerily at her. But Corrine saw his lip quivering as he turned away, and knew he was putting on a brave front for her sake; his own fate was likely already sealed.
Suddenly, another rocket whooshed overhead, exploding in a deafening bang and raining showers of sparks gently down onto the cold sea. Her friends and companions cried out in alarm. Corrine had held her ears during the detonation, and as she slowly lowered them, she noticed for the first time the cheerful, upbeat strains of ragtime music floating over the bedlam.
The little group stood there in shock, taking it all in. They had seen the confusion and disorder below, but had not anticipated the eerie, reeling madness above. Worse, from her vantage point near the aftmost edge of the deck, which was significantly elevated above the bow, she could see that many davits were already empty.
"Right." She turned to her band of companions as the last person - Danny - emerged from the ladder. "Most of the boats have left already. You'll have to hurry if you want to be in one. Don't waste time, or it'll be too late," she warned ominously.
The Finnish girls moved off at once, but her friends lingered by her side. "Come with us!" Katie begged, pulling at her hand.
Corrine grabbed Katie by her upper arms and spoke urgently. "No. Listen to me. You need to find a boat. I need to find Harry. There's not much time. Go. Hurry!" She pushed Katie and Kate toward the nearest boat and melted back into the crowd, toward the middle of the ship.
Frantic, she turned this way and that, unsure of where to start. Did the officers have assigned boats? Should she ask someone? Her confusion rendered her paralyzed for a moment, and she froze with indecision. People shoved past her, but she barely registered the movement.
She needed to find another officer - surely he would know where Harry was. Oh, where was Mr. Lightoller when she really needed him?! She scanned the deck. To her immense relief, she noticed a sad-eyed officer standing not too far away, loading the last boat on the starboard side.
Pushing aside the crowd blocking her way, she approached him. "Sir!" she called. "Sir, I-"
He grabbed her arm firmly and steered her toward the boat he was loading. "Yes, miss, you should get in this one; I assure you it is perfectly safe." He made to pass her over the edge to a waiting sailor.
"Wait!" she cried. "I'm looking for Harr- Mr. Lowe, I mean," she amended quickly. "Do you know where he's stationed?"
Puzzled but still straining to be polite, he answered, "Miss, he is surely stationed where he needs to be, loading the lifeboats full of women and children. Now please - there is no time to delay." He was trying to be soothing, but his grip on her tightened, and she realized with shock that he was willing to manhandle her into the boat if need be.
No! She would not - could not - leave the ship without finding Harry first; she needed to know he was safe.
She wrenched away from the officer's grip in a sudden movement that caught him off guard. For a heartbeat, she wobbled precariously on the edge of the giant ship, swaying between the deck and the water. She flung herself forward, though, and her equilibrium carried her past the startled officer and beyond the crowd of people still waiting to board, who gasped in her wake.
Suddenly, Steward Hart stood up in the boat she had just leaped from and shouted, "Miss Corrine! There you are! There's an officer been looking everywhere for you! He's on the port side!"
She needed no further prompting. Taking off at a sprint, she flew over the deck, dodging knots of people, who hurriedly scurried out of her way. She rounded the entrance to the second class staircase - and ran straight into a mass of people crowding the port side lifeboats. Compared to the relative calm of the starboard side, this side of the ship was pandemonium. Crowds of people three and four deep, some carrying luggage, were pushing, shouting, and cursing. Adding to the chaos, it appeared that three lifeboats were being loaded simultaneously. Desperately, she stood on her tiptoes and scanned the area, looking for ship's officers. The boat immediately in front of her was being supervised by a tall officer, with assistance from a junior officer. As the junior turned in her direction, she saw with a sinking heart that it was the same one that had checked her ticket - it wasn't Harry.
And then three things happened at once: she heard the unmistakable boom of Lightoller's voice shouting "Lower away!", and then she heard Katie cry, "Corr!", followed closely by Kate's shout: "It's Godfrey!"
She glanced to the right and spotted Lightoller immediately, arms raised, attempting to hold back the crowd. And - there was Harry at last! He was standing in a lifeboat, helping Kate into it, with Katie close behind.
Relief washed over her in a wave so thick that it made her weak. He was going with the boat! He was going to be saved!
Harry forced a smile as he escorted her friends into the boat, and then paused, the color draining from his face. Recognition dawned in his eyes as he realized who they were, and he grabbed Katie's arm, leaning in to bark a question at her.
And as Lightoller turned his head to scream again and the crew began playing out the ropes, she realized the horrible truth. Kate and Katie were to be the last ones in the boat; Lightoller had just given the order to lower it to the sea.
"Harry!" she screamed, and flung herself in the direction of his boat, heedless of the people in her way. She needed to be on that boat - she needed more than anything in the world to be with him right now. "Harry!"
He looked up, and their eyes met. His widened in shock and joy, and then abject terror. "Stop lowering!" he called out to the crew as the boat began its jerky descent downward. "Wait for one more!"
But Lightoller, who was otherwise occupied, didn't see her. "There's no time!" he shouted, pushing a knot of shoving men away from the boat. Corrine was stunned to see the usually cool and calm senior officer so agitated. "The boat has to go now, or these cowards will capsize it!"
"Then I will stay!" Harry called out. With horror, Corrine watched as he grabbed the lip of the deck and began hauling himself up.
"No!" The cry tore out of her as she pushed vainly at the wall of people blocking her. He had to stay on that boat; it might be his only chance to survive.
Lightoller's head snapped around, noticing her at last. Then he turned to his junior incredulously and stared him down. "You will man that boat, Mr. Lowe! That is an order!"
Once again, she could see duty and responsibility warring with his heart. But the choice had already been taken out of his hands. The boat descended, and his tormented eyes disappeared from her sight.
Somehow, in spite of the crush of men, she finally managed to find her way to the edge of the deck. Possibly the sympathetic crewmen, having seen her desperate attempt, had parted the crowd for her.
"Harry!" she screamed again, hanging onto the davit and stretching her arm down in a futile attempt to reach him.
Harry stared up at her, only a few feet below, but steadily pulling away, despair written clearly on his face. Then his eyes filled with a desperate determination. "Listen to me," he said beseechingly to Corrine, and though he spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear, it was as if they were the only two people in the world. "I need you to be brave, do you understand? I need you to jump for me. I promise, I'll catch you. Please, Corrine. Jump."
She looked down. A distance of only a few feet separated Harry's outstretched arms from the yawning blackness of the sea far below. But it didn't matter. In that moment, Corrine knew she would do anything for that man - even overcome her abject terror of heights to throw herself from the edge of a sinking passenger liner. Without thought, without hesitation, she closed her eyes and crouched, ready to spring...
...and felt rough hands on her left arm, yanking her backward to sprawl on the deck, mere inches from the edge.
She looked up and saw Thomas - Thomas! - and the friend that had joined them in their long journey to the boat deck. "If there's room for her, there's room for us!" he growled, and made to leap for the rapidly receding lifeboat.
Strong hands grabbed them both from behind by their collars and threw them bodily onto the deck a few feet away. They quickly scrabbled to their feet and ran toward the bow, apparently unharmed. She looked up and saw Lightoller's face contorted with fury.
Suddenly, she heard three shots, one deck below her, and the roar of Harry's stricken voice: "Stay back, the lot of you! Or I'll shoot you all like dogs!"
Inconsolable, panicked, in a red haze from the wrenching pain in her arm, she crawled to the edge of the deck on her knees and peered over.
Harry stood in the middle of the boat, revolver out, pointing it at the crowds of men on both the boat deck and A deck. The agonized look on his face as he feverishly scanned the faces of the crowd, though, said it all - he was terrified for her safety, and furious at the ones who hurt her and denied her a place in the boat. For one moment, he was not a ship's officer, but an ordinary man, forced to endure an unbearable separation. A small girl's tug on his arm and her plea to not to shoot anyone brought him back to himself, reminding him of who and what he was. He slowly lowered the weapon, put the safety back on, and dropped it in his pocket. All the same, his decorum had been shattered, and he no longer cared what he looked or sounded like as he cupped his hands around his mouth and screamed her name again and again.
"Harry!" she called back, her voice breaking. She slumped over the edge of the boat deck and feebly waved her right arm.
He spotted her at last, and visibly relaxed at seeing her relatively unharmed. "You all right?"
"Yes," she lied, although her left arm hurt like fire when she tried to move it.
The boat continued to drop, and with it, all of Corrine's hopes. It was too late. Thomas and his friend had selfishly stripped her of a place on the boat, and now it was leaving with Harry - and without her.
"Listen to me, Corrine," he called urgently, as every inch of rope increased the distance between them. "You have to find another boat. Right away - find the first boat you can, and get into it. Do not wait. Get off this ship now, Corrine."
She began sobbing, heedless of the crowds, the other passengers on the lifeboat who were now gaping up at her. "What if I can't find one?"
He was rapidly disappearing from sight; the drop was so steep, the sea so far away. But she heard him shout, so clearly that he could have been right next to her: "Then I will come back for you! Do you hear me? I will come back for you, Corrine!"
And even above the din of the boat deck, she heard the boat splash into the sea, many feet below her. At that, she collapsed on the deck and wept, huge sobbing gulps that tore through her and rendered her prone on the still-shiny wooden planks.
Sara Compton, in boat 14, could not take her eyes off of the young officer's stricken face. Later, she would swear that tears streaked down his cheeks as he stared up at the brightly lit boat deck far above them. The little boat sat in the still, calm water for a minute or two, the other crewmen unsure of what to do next. Without turning around, Officer Lowe said quietly, "Pick up your oars, men. We have to be far enough away from her so that the suction won't pull us down when she sinks." His voice broke on the last word, but no one cared. Without a word, the men lay into the oars. Officer Lowe never moved from his position at the tiller, and as the eerily silent boat began to pull away slowly from the foundering ship, he kept his eyes riveted to the mighty, doomed, Titanic.
The 'shoot you all like dogs' phrase was actually uttered by Lowe himself, according to several witnesses that night, and not by Lightoller, as the movie portrays.
The theme song for this chapter: When The Party's Over - Billie Eilish
