~ Zach ~
"This stop is: the Botanical Gardens. Explore 300 million years of flora …."
That fucked up drone voice stopped me right in my tracks entirely. Trent leaned away from me kinda fast.
I mean, look, this isn't how I imagined my first kiss with a guy to be like, but once I started to lean in, I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. I wanted nothing more. The world around us was just starting to melt away from me and it was just us. That is, until that voice cut through it.
People started to walk in and out of the train. Trent got up. "Is-is this our stop?" I asked. He only nodded, not meeting my eyes. Fuck, this is gonna be weird now.
I was so close. I was so close to getting just the slightest touch I've been craving for for so long. But … nothing. Fuck me. God, why art thou so cruel? If you're up there … listen to me, you fucker, I need this. You already put me through hell even though you're sending me there.
I let out a sigh and got up, sheepishly following Trenton out of the train, onto the platform with only a few other people. Of course, the botanical gardens are probably not high on someones to-do list while they're here, really. So, why was he bringing me here?
I'll admit, green is my favorite color. Winters are hard back home for me, mentally. I get so bogged down with seasonal depression that sometimes a couple days pass before I register what's going on. But, once the first, warm day comes, followed by all the green on the trees and fields weeks later, I'm back to my old self again. Truly, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I stepped onto the elevated platform to be able to see a canopy of brilliant green surrounding me. My eyes wandered around in awe at the beautiful leaves and trees. Some were just gorgeous and familiar while others seemed worlds away, but were nonetheless beautiful.
"Do you like it?" I heard a voice as.
I turned my head to meet Trenton's ocean-blue eyes. In that moment, oh god I knew I'd remember that for the rest of my life. My heart fluttered and I was overcome with this sensation of warmth and happiness, also accompanied by excitement, making the sides of my mouth shoot to my ears in the biggest smile I could muster. I let out a laugh, "Yes. I love it here."
I didn't see Trenton's reaction to that because my eyes were taken back to the lush green surroundings, but I knew he smiled right back.
We started off down the stairs to the exhibits that were there. The walkway and area was quite large, but there were not many people. Those that were there were milling around far from us. The concrete did give way to a boardwalk that led off into the forest; likely a loop throughout it that lead back to the monorail. Trenton and I didn't need to discuss anything about it, we just kept walking, starting onto the boardwalk. Soon, we were entirely surrounded by shadows cast by the lush green zoo that surrounded us.
We stayed silent for a while, both of us. I don't think we wanted to break the peace of the forest for a while. All we did was walk at a pretty slow pace through the jungle, enjoying the scenery, and stopping every once in a while to read a sign. By now I had somewhat forgotten the near-kiss on the train, and I was just in awe of the world around me. Funny, showing as much emotion as I am right now back home? Oh, that would not have gone over well with my manly-man of a dad. All I'm doing is enjoying the flowers and trees, but lord knows it would have been enough.
I'm free ….
That thought resonated through my mind again. I was once more reminded that I'm thousands of miles from home. Yet, it felt like so much more. Freedom was mine. No one, not even Gray, was around to be able to take that from me now.
Thinking that, my excitement began to calm down. I became content and felt so loose; not even conscious of the smile that remained plastered to my face.
"Oh my god … I can't believe they have that."
I walked over to where Trent was. I wonder if he's okay with me calling him that. I'll just stick to Trenton for now, until I know otherwise or persuade him through various means.
He was looking down at a small twig-like thing that sprawled all over the ground and rose up only a few inches to a bulb. "It's called Cooksonia. It's one of the first plants to ever really come on land. It's a common ancestor to basically all plants. Everything you see here. Heh, all the plants you've ever seen. It's … because of this little, incredible organism."
I cocked a smirk with a soft laugh, "Go grandpa!" Trenton's eyes, nearly breathing fire, turned to me in a piercing glare. My lips didn't wavier. "Ah, yeah, Gray gave me that same look when I said that about Tiktaalik." His eyes changed drastically.
"You know what that is?"
"Yeah, I'm not dumb," I balled my hand and pat his shoulder. He rolled his eyes,
"That's not what I mean. It's just that I remember you looked so irritated when Gray went off about his interests."
I shrugged, "I guess some of it stuck."
Trenton cocked a small smile, rolling his eyes a little. There was a gleam in those deep blues that I hadn't noticed before. Something, like a flicker of content. It was then that something changed in me. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes for just a little longer than a blink, and when I reopened them, I was free. It was the same thing I experienced before I took the field with the rest of my team when I was playing lacrosse. I was always so fuckin' nervous before almost any game, but when I took the field it would always wash out of me. Same thing now. I wasn't nervous all of a sudden.
Trenton looked away and back at the plants, while my eyes wandered around the dense forest around me. The sun was barely reaching us through the leaves from behind me. I looked around and noticed a spot of white in front of me. I walked a little further down the path, only a couple of steps, before I noticed a large opening between some trees and some stepping stones towards it. The grass and leaves quickly turned to white sand through the opening. I smiled, pretty cocky, and turned to the hotness that is Trenton.
"Hey," I said, stepping towards him. "follow me."
I stepped off onto the stones and onto the beach. The world around us opened up and we were met with the gorgeous beach and the sound of waves. A little bit of darkness was slowly creeping over the distant horizon and the colors of sunset were slowly creeping in.
"Oh my god. I didn't know we were this close to the beach," I heard Trent say behind me.
I turned back, beaming, "Yeah, me too." He smiled back, looking down. Is … is he blushing?
I bent over to take off my shoes and he came up next to me. "Wanna go to for a walk?" I asked as he looked out into the ocean. "I mean, I'd much rather go for a swim than anything, but didn't prepare for this." The thought of us skinny dipping crossed my mind. God, I'd give anything to feel his warmth on my skin ….
"I think," he started unlacing his shoes. "I think we could just relax here. We've both had a long day." The events of today quickly replayed in my mind. Wow, in just one day we went through so much emotional hell, but yet I'm here. And … and I'm gonna get what I want more than anything.
I sat down next to him and rested my elbows on my raised knees, looking out at the ocean. He did the same, sitting with his legs crossed. I look over at him. God, he is just … beautiful. In my eyes, he's perfect. It's hard for me to take it all in, he's just gorgeous. Damn, I know I'm cute and all, I can say that, but I look and kinda' feel plain next to him. He's got it all. That incredible sandy blond hair, those eyes, his sharp jawline. Even looking down at his legs after imagining that incredible body he might have above. Fuck, my friend's beginning to wake up. I look back at out at the ocean as we sit in silence.
I look back over at him, not letting my eyes leave him. I'm filled with this lust for him, yes, but it's not just that. I'm grateful for him. I'm grateful that he was here for me now and I could talk to him about this all. I'm grateful that with him I felt the sudden impulse to come out. Yeah, maybe it was in an effort to get him when I found out he's gay too, but it felt so damn good. So freeing, so wonderful and lively.
I couldn't even control my thoughts then either. My mind drifted to him and I in various places. In a club where I dance and get protective if someone tries to butt in, at a friend's wedding where I whisper to him something scandalous about someone in my family at the table, in our dorm at Stanford (what a dream it would be if we went there together!) just laying on my bed eating ice cream …. Oh, shit, that's right. That dream I had when I fell asleep in the ball-thing while Gray was driving. It was with Trenton, but we were in some sort of green area of a college. It was at Stanford. Wow. If dreams are any indication of the future, I hope I have that deja vu.
"How are you feeling?"
I snapped out of my reverie, lifting my head. I realized then that I was just staring directly at him. I bit my lip. "I-I-I'm … I'm feeling pretty good."
"Do you wanna talk any more about anything at all? About being gay?"
I shook my head and looked up at the sky. The faintest lights of the stars are starting to show. "No, I think I'm pretty good, for now at least," I looked back down at Trent, locking my eyes with him. "I was just … thinking about how grateful I am to meet you." He smiled,
"I'm pretty grateful too. I still feel pretty bad for what happened earlier at the restaurant, though."
"Hey, don't be, please," I lowered my voice as I said that, instinctively scooting closer to him. "You couldn't have known Gray would have reacted that way. I feel like that I sorta knew, but didn't want to believe it. He's my brother and I hoped he would have my back, but I also didn't want to believe that he might act like that."
"I just," he trailed off. "I come from such a supporting family, so hearing what he said and from you what your parents are like. My heart breaks for you …."
But you broke my heart ….
"No, please, don't think that. I know …. I know I'll find my way. If I have to burn some bridges then so be it, but I know I can't deny who I am anymore. And I'll always have you to thank for giving me the courage to take that first initial step."
Okay Zach, initiate the touch, but not too fast …. I lifted my hand and placed it gently on his shoulder. My eyes trailed down slowly from his to his pink lips and I found my tongue suddenly licking mine. Perfect.
"Oh. Well, thank you, I suppose," his cheeks flushed with color. "I'm glad I was able to help in some way."
"You helped a lot more than just 'some'," I replied. "Today started as a nightmare, but it's ending like an amazing dream. All thanks to you."
My eyes locked onto his blues again. This time, he wasn't going to break away, I just knew it. I could feel my back getting tense and my heartbeat start to increase. I began to lean in.
The last thing I remember was his deep blue eyes flickering closed as I placed my lips to his.
Finally.
I have to say I was a little worried that at some point he'd snap back and suddenly regret everything and run away. I guess that was just my anxiety taking over my thoughts, but it never ended up happening. We kissed and kissed kept doing it for a while on the beach. It wasn't until the last light was barely landing on the ground from a combination of the setting sun and a large line of towering clouds coming in from the sea that we actually got up to leave.
It wasn't just kissing. For the first time, I cuddled, snuggled, held, or whatever you wanna call it, with a boy. And not just any boy, but this fuckin' supermodel was in my arms. Having his smaller body wrapped in my arms was unlike anything I've experienced. The warmth my body bubbled up and the butterflies in my stomach kept a goofy-ass smile plastered to my face during our whole time on the beach.
We walked back just in time to catch the last monorail. Our ride was peaceful and quiet. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between us. Or at least I had hoped. For me, there was no way to describe it. It was like time stopped for me. There was no trauma or pain or anxiety from my past and there wasn't any worries for tomorrow. It was just us in this paradise soaking in every moment like its our last.
We got off at the hotel stop late. We walked off the train with our pinkies interlocked and made our way back to the hotel. As we did, we passed the Mosasaur exhibit again. The large animal was swimming around making sizable waves in the water. It was there that Trenton stopped.
I had taken a step or two beyond him and stopped then before I turned around. "What's up?" I asked with a low, low voice.
"I'm … I'm kind of afraid to ask this, but I can't shake it from me now. What are we? What does this make us?"
Maybe he could play the stoic all day long, or be weary of anyone that showed interest. But now, I had gotten to him to open and I can tell that in this defenseless state he never shows to anyone, he's downright terrified to be showing me this side of him. This was the agreement I was thinking about. No matter what happens between us tomorrow or the next day, or even if we never speak again once we leave this island, we have now. The world around us doesn't matter. Tonight, we only have and we only need each other.
"I don't know what will happen. I don't know what this makes us. But, we have time here to think about it and to agree. Now, we just have each other. Tonight … that's all we really need."
I could feel him go limp, but I caught him on time. That was when the idea crossed my mind and I just had to. I dipped him down and leaned over to plant another deep kiss on him.
The mosasaur shot out of the water and landed back in with a splash.
Trent pulled away from the kiss, but kept his eyes on me. It began to rain suddenly so we ran back into the hotel and were in front of his door now. The light was so dim in the hallway, yet so warm. It accentuated his warm skin perfectly. And his face would be lit up brilliantly for a split second as a bolt of lighting would strike outside. He laid his head on my shoulder as I pulled him into me. "Goodnight," I whispered. "I wish tonight never had to end."
"Me neither," he cooed, oh so softly. His voice like sweet music to my ears.
But that inevitable time came when he had to pull away from me entirely and turned to open the door. He stopped, smiling coyly, "I hope your first kiss with a guy wasn't half bad."
I returned the smile, giggling softly. "It was pretty alright." He smiled at me again with his gorgeous mug before opening the door and stepping in softly to not wake his family. As he closed the door, he turned to face me again. "Goodnight, cutie."
"… n-night. I'll s-see you tomorrow." I stuttered. And the door closed. Wow, I've been called cutie so many times before, but hearing it from him makes me a sputtering and blushing mess.
I floated on my feet back to the elevator with the initial intent being to go up to my floor, but I hit the ground floor button and stepped out into the lobby a few moments later.
I headed towards the door that lead to the park. The rain outside was pouring and lighting flashing brightly everywhere with thunder echoing off the hills and mountains of the island. I stepped outside, getting drenched in a matter of seconds. I beamed up at the sky and then began to, like an insane idiot, sing: "Do-do-do-dooo, do-do-do-lo-do doo … I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain! Oh, what a glorious feelin' I'm happy …. Laughin' at clouds, so dark up above …."
Yes. Yes, I am ready for and in love.
A/N: Well, isn't that just the most squeal-worthy thing!? I hope it lasts long ;) would be a shame if someone, like the GOD of this universe were to ruin it MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA oh jeez that made my asthma erupt.
Thanks for commenting you guys! I'm glad I'm still getting some attention for this ancient story hahaha keep 'em coming and I'll do the same for the chapters. Seeya soon!
