Chapter Fifteen
When Ebba approached her two days later at the midday meal in the hall, Frige could tell there was something serious on her mind. Eomer King had ridden out with King Thorin and six guards the morn after the feast. They would be at Helm's Deep by now, she thought.
"How many more are ill?" she asked her maid. The evening after the welcoming feast, three servants in Medusled had become ill. The healers were treating them but they remained abed with a high fever.
"The other maids found six more servants along with your children except for Etheldred, my lady. The healers have moved them all to a single room to avoid others being infected. No one else is to enter the room until the illness is past," Ebba said.
"How long will that be for?"
"The healers do not know at this time. If you will excuse me my lady, I have additional tasks to complete." Frige nodded and Ebba left the hall. King Bard placed a hand on her arm.
"I am certain this illness will pass soon enough," he assured her.
"I hope so." He nodded and left the hall. A moment later so did she.
Three days later, she had just dressed for the day when Frige heard a knock on the door of her bedchamber.
"Enter," called Frige. Instead of Ebba as she expected, it was one of the healers who looked tired and worn.
"Has the illness passed from this hall?"
"Aye, my queen. But you should follow me," the healer stated. 'Please let all of my children be all right,' she thought. 'I could not bear it otherwise…,' When she entered the room all of the beds except for one had been cleared away. Isabel and Aelfric stood on the other side of the room. They quickly walked over to her.
"I am glad to see you are both well. But where is Hamon?" Aelfric pointed a finger towards the occupied bed.
"No!" Frige cried softly.
She ran over to the bed as fast as she could and then sat down on it. It only took one look to confirm her worst fears; her youngest son was dead. She gently lifted Hamon and cradled him in her arms one last time. Frige pressed her forehead into his body and closed her eyes. She felt too numb even to cry. How could she go on after this? How could she live without Hamon? Life would never be the same again, she knew. She wasn't sure it was moments or minutes before she reluctantly lay Hamon back down in the bed and opened her eyes. Frige leaned forward and kissed the cold brow of Hamon. She stood and turned to see Aelfic and Isabel who stood at the foot of Hamon's bed. Without thought, Frige walked over to them and embraced both Aelfric and Isabel tightly. They both held her tightly in return as she looked down at them. 'Come what may they had each other,' she thought. Frige did not let go of her children until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She raised her head to see the grave face of the healer.
"I am sorry about Hamon, my queen. I will see to it that he is buried alongside the other members of the House of Erol on the morn," he assured her.
"That is a great honour. I wish to be alone now with Aelfric and Isabel." He nodded. Frige left the room with Alefric and Isabel. When they both requested to sleep in the same room with her that night, she readily agreed.
In days to come, Frige would recall little of the burial of Hamon or the memorial meal on the next day. Even if the burial was sombre, oft the meal to remember the dead was more cheerful as kin told tales of what the dead had accomplished and toasts to their memory were drunk. But the hall remained silent during the meal as it seemed none present had anything to say. 'What do you say to mark the death of a child,' thought Frige. What can you tell a mother to console her from the whims of fate?
"My queen, the king and his guard returns," one of the guards told her. Frige nodded in acknowledgement and rose from the table. During her walk to the steps of Medusled, her body felt weighed down as if she were a woman of twice her current age.
"What of the welcoming cup?" murmured the guard to the right of the door as the group entered Edoras. She waved him aside. How could she welcome her husband back to the place her son had died?
"My lady. Who has died?" Eomer asked as he approached her and saw her grey dress and black mourning veil. She took a deep breath.
"My son Hamon was buried on this day," she informed him. He placed his hands on her shoulders.
"I am sorry." She pushed him away, not yet prepared to accept his consolation.
"Leave me be," she declared, then turned and ran inside to the heir's bedchamber. Frige could not sleep that night as she recalled memories of happier days with Hamon.
It had now been a week since Hamon's burial. The evening meal had just been served when King Bard laid down his cup and looked at her intently from where he sat beside her.
"May I speak freely?" he asked her in Dalish, a language she had learned during her first marriage. She nodded.
"What I say to you is not a criticism but is out of concern for your wellbeing. You do not look well. When was the last time you slept through the night or eat an entire meal?"
"I will not fade like an elf. I have other compelling reasons to live."
"Aye, you do. You are the Queen of Rohan and the people of this realm need your guidance and support. You have a duty to them no matter your personal feelings. Your children need you. They are also grieving the loss of their brother. How long has it been since you last spoke to Aelfric or Isabel or held Etheldred? Or would you prefer to forget your sorrows with excessive labour as you did after the Battle of Dale?"
"Never mention that time ever again. King or no, kin of my late husband or no, I will have you removed from this hall. Do I make myself clear Bard, son of Brand?"
"I will say what I wish to you because I have earned that right through my kinship with Cerdic. He would not have wanted you to suffer so."
"Cerdic is dead so his wishes no longer matter. You may act as a father to my children, but never forget that you are not their father. I am alone in raising them."
King Bard took a hold of her arm and Frige turned in her seat to look at him.
"You are never alone. Always remember that."
His sincerity and kindness broke through the numbness around her heart. Frige found herself beginning to cry. She was barely aware that King Bard had wrapped an arm around her shoulders or that her head was on his chest as she sobbed. Frige cared not that she was in the hall and all in Meduseld would know of this by the next morn. Hamon had died and that was reason enough to cry. She did not know how long it was before she raised her head from King Bard's chest and then began to dry her tears. He gave her another look and then removed his arm from her. A moment later she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up into the stern face of her husband.
"My lady, might I have a private word?" Eomer King demanded. Frige nodded. As they walked back to the King's bedchamber, Frige moved the sheer black lace of her veil back over her face once more.
"Why have you allowed King Bard to comfort you over the death of Hamon but you have moved away from me to reside in the heir's bedchamber? Why have we not been intimate since the night after the welcoming feast for King Bard and King Thorin?" her husband asked sharply after he had closed the door behind them.
Her eyes narrowed when she heard that.
"Is our intimacy all that you can think about? My son has died not even two weeks past. Did you expect me to go on as if nothing had happened? Think of how you would feel if Etheldred had died instead of Hamon and mayhap you will better understand my present state. Speaking of children, I promised Aelfric I would watch his sword fight this evening," Frige said angrily. Before Eomer could react, she quickly left their bedchamber and headed to the sparring ring. Her husband did not call out her name or follow her but rather let her go for which she was grateful.
She tried to pay attention during Aelfric's sword fight and managed to regain her composure enough to congratulate him on the narrow victory he scored over his opponent. Aelfric seemed to sense that she wished to be alone afterwards because he nodded and left the sparring ring.
Frige headed for the stables. Perhaps Freya and Cloud could give her some comfort, she thought. She stopped by the kitchens to get an apple for Freya and a carrot for Cloud. Both of her horses seemed to appreciate the treat and she found stroking their necks to be soothing. Frige was about to leave the stables when she saw a horse in the farthest stall that made her halt. She took a deep breath and then approached the colt warily. He stuck his head over the stall. Frea, that was his name, Frige remembered. This was the colt that Hamon used to ride. But now he would never ride again. He would never do anything again… Frige hung her head and took several deep breaths. Losing her composure in the hall was bad enough, but what would everyone think if they found her crying over a horse? Several long moments later she took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Frige turned her head and saw King Bard nearby who looked at her with concern.
"That colt used to be ridden by Hamon, did he not?" he asked her.
"My apologies, I did not see you there. Aye, Frea used to be the colt Hamon would ride," she said softly. He nodded and walked closer to her.
"I have observed that grief can be just as deadly as a sword though it kills more slowly. I would not wish such a fate for you."
"Fear not at that. While Hamon will never grow to be a man, I am grateful to still have Aelfric, Isabel, and Etheldred by my side."
"You also have Eomer King."
"While Eomer King cares about Etheldred, he does not feel the same way towards my other children."
"I believe he does. Though the depth of his feelings for Aelfric and Isabel may not run as deep as your own, I have observed him closely since his return from Helm's Deep. His sadness at the death of Hamon was genuine. You should allow him to comfort you."
Frige signed.
"Mayhap you are right. I should return to the hall. Thank you for your words. Please do not tell my husband of this conversation."
"I will not. Good evening."
She nodded to him and returned to Meduseld.
The next day during the evening meal, Ebba entered the hall and handed her a letter. Frige laid her cup down and opened the paper to read:
To Frige, Queen of Rohan
Greetings. I have now spent some time with Frea. He is a wonderful colt. If you are willing, I wish to purchase Frea from your stables so I can take him back to Dale to use as the first horse my youngest child will ride. Please let me know if Eomer King would be agreeable to this idea.
Bard, King of Dale
"What is it, my lady?" Eomer King asked.
"May I talk with you privately after this meal?" she asked her husband. He nodded. They finished eating and then they walked to their bedchamber. Once she had closed the door behind them, Frige turned to her husband.
"Would you be willing to sell Frea to King Bard?" Given his expression that was not what he had been expecting her to say.
"Frea was Hamon's colt, was he not?"
"Aye. What say you?"
"I have no objection to such a thing. Do you?"
"No. I would be happy to see Frea bring joy to another child."
"Very well, then I will arrange the sale of Frea to King Bard."
Eomer paused for a long moment before he continued speaking.
"Frige, I am sorry for my words yesterday. On further reflection, I concluded that I had not been patient with your grief. I know how long it took me to heal from the death of my cousin, Theodred, who was like an older brother to me. Your love for Hamon was just as strong as mine was for my cousin. So it is understandable for you to need time to heal. But Rohan also needs a queen, so you will have to resume your duties as soon as you can despite your grief."
"Aye, I will talk to the steward about resuming my duties as queen once King Bard and King Thorin depart a week hence. Thank you for your apology. I do not enjoy being on terms of strife with you," Frige replied as she walked closer to him.
"Nor I. May I hold you?"
"You may."
A moment later Eomer's firm arms wrapped around her waist while she wrapped her own arms around his back. They embraced for several long moments or mayhap it was minutes. By now Eomer's embrace was very familiar to her. But this time his firm body pressed against her own had naught to do with desire or seeking warmth in bed. Frige realized that he wanted to comfort her. Even though he had not loved Hamon as much as she did, Eomer had never wanted his death and was grieved to see the death of her son cause her so much pain. She was touched at his kindness and she took strength by his understanding of what she had been though. But Eomer was correct that she had to resume her duties as queen. She remembered that Cerdic had told her once that death was always present but that life went on nevertheless.
"Will you move back into this bedchamber? I have missed you beside me at night."
"I'm not certain if I- that is, I am not sure if intimacy at this time is…"
"That was not what I meant. I merely wish to comfort you at night. Mayhap you would sleep better which would ease my worry."
When she heard that Frige raised her head from where it rested on his chest and looked up to meet his eyes.
"You are concerned about me?"
"Aye. You are more then my queen or the mother of my children. I have also come to care about your welfare."
"I see. In that case, I will sleep in this bedchamber again. But before I do, I should spend time with my children. King Bard was right that I have been neglecting them of late," Frige replied as she reluctantly stepped away from her husband
"I shall see you tonight after you have done so."
She nodded and left the room in the direction of her children's rooms.
A week later, King Bard and King Thorin were ready to depart for Dale and Erebor.
"King Thorin, it has been a pleasure to meet you. Farewell," Frige told the dwarf. He nodded and then bowed to herself and Eomer King before he turned and headed toward his horse.
"Do I get a farewell too?" asked King Bard. She smiled and walked closer to him.
"Aye, King Bard," Frige said. She embraced him.
"Take care of yourself and your kin. I expect letters from you."
"Likewise. Farewell." He smiled at her a final time then mounted his own horse.
"Good fortune to you all in your journey. May you return home safely," she told the group.
A moment later the men, horses, and carts began to move out of Edoras. Frige stood there until the group was no longer visible on the horizon.
"Erkenbrand invited me to tour the Westfold for three weeks. Would you care to accompany me?" Eomer asked her.
"Aye, I would. When do we leave?"
"Two days hence."
"I will see that the preparations are in readiness." He nodded. Once inside Medusled, she and her husband walked in different directions.
