Boris Yeltsin - I think Tara was definitely a cute baby!
Guest - Hi! I'm all about the cute Tillow moments, this fic does delve a little deeper though as it goes on...but just know, I will always, ALWAYS be about that!
Katherynne the Great - They are! You're welcome, it's so great to see other W/T fanfic still going. As ever, they deserve only happy endings! I think a great relationship you know almost everything but still get a little thrill of something new every now and then.
Chapter Ten
"Hey Willow."
Willow looked up from her phone as she heard the familiar voice call her name and spotted Xander standing a few feet away paying for his coffee order while she waited at the pick-up point for her mocha and Tara's passion tango tea. She smiled and waved.
"Hey, Xan. How's it going?"
"Escaping the fam?" Xander asked as he sidled up beside her.
Willow shook her head.
"No, they're with our parents. Going to the zoo! Robyn's birthday treat! Thankfully she's still young enough to not be mad at us for going a bit more low-key this year. She thinks she's getting multiple birthdays because people keep taking her out or bringing her presents. She loves the ice-cream cart toy you got her by the way."
"Pixie is obsessed with hers," Xander grinned, "Turns out imaginary ice-cream is the only kind that's kind to my waistline."
He patted his stomach and smiled.
"Out for some self-love?" he smiled awkwardly, "I mean, uh, on a solo date?"
Willow shook her head again.
"Tara's in the car. I was picking her up from yoga and she had a craving hence immediate stoppage for satisfaction."
"Oh the cravings," Xander chuckled in solidarity, "At least this one didn't come at 2 am."
"Pfft, 2 am?" Willow waved her hand dismissively, "2 am is nothing. I was in Wegmans at 4 the other night because we only had gala apples and Tara said she would die if she couldn't have a pink lady. She actually said those words to me; that she would die."
"Payback's a bitch, huh?" Xander grinned.
Willow exhaled through a laugh.
"You're telling me. I keep telling myself I wasn't this bad, but honestly, I was worse."
"And now she has a personal chauffeur," Xander replied, gesturing indicatively.
Willow shook her head to herself.
"She's finding driving pretty uncomfortable now she's getting so big."
"Isn't she only 20 weeks?" Xander asked with a curious lift on the corner of his mouth.
"With twins," Willow amended and Xander began nodding.
"I keep forgetting that part," he said, then leaned in conspiringly, "Does that mean double the hormones?"
"It sure feels like it," Willow chuckled.
"Wallow," a barista called out and Willow retrieved her drinks with a sullen 'thanks'.
"Wallow isn't even a name! It's an act!" she complained quietly to Xander.
"Xander," the same barista called out perfectly and he smiled at her as he collected his order.
Willow rolled her eyes but waited for Xander to walk back out to their cars. She backed up against the door to open it and used her foot to hold it open while Xander walked out.
"Anya would eviscerate you if I told her you were flirting with the cute barista."
Xander countered her with a boyish grin.
"And Tara would hormone-hulk-out if I told her you said she was cute."
Willow's eyes narrowed.
"You're playing hardball, Harris."
Xander shrugged both shoulders.
"I'm just—"
Before he could say whatever he was going to say, they both winced as a loud skidding sound rattled their eardrums from mere feet away.
One of Willow's arms raised instinctively as if shielding her eyes might stop the sound but all it did was block the sun from her gaze and allow her to watch as a white dump truck speedily skidded through a red light, out of control. She heard lots of beeping and then yelling, all in a split second; the same split second that she noticed the car directly in the path of the oncoming collision was hers.
The one she'd left Tara in.
Everything slowed to an almost inert state.
The drinks fell at Willow's feet and splashed all over the ground and Tara's name rang through the air; so shrill and slow that Willow didn't even realize she was the one screaming it.
One foot took a running step forward but then there were arms around her middle, tugging her back and everything changed back to real-time. Willow felt her feet being lifted off the ground and her body tugged back right as the truck slammed into the car and turned it into a sideways accordion.
Willow was fighting Xander's grip, twisting and turning to get out of his arms.
"Tara! Tara! Tara!"
"What the hell happened?!"
Xander, and in turn Willow who was still being held by him, spun around to spot Tara standing behind them with her mouth hung open.
Xander let go of Willow and brought both of his hands up to his head in shock. Willow stumbled toward Tara with a small frown on her face.
"Tara?" she asked in a small, child-like voice.
Before Tara could answer, Willow promptly dropped to her knees and threw up.
"Oh my god," Tara said and did her best to bend down and comfort Willow while looking up at Xander.
Xander was taking in large breaths.
"We thought you were in the car," he said, dropping a hand to his chest, "We thought you were in the car."
"I-I had to pee," Tara explained, her hand moving over her belly, "I couldn't hold it. I-I can't hold it anymore."
There was a fresh wave of panicked yelling and Xander looked over his shoulder to where a group of people were trying to get the unconscious truck driver out of his seat. He ran over to help and Tara focused back on Willow.
"Hey," she said, stroking Willow's hair and coaxing her gaze back up, "Hey."
Willow looked up and every part of her was shaking; Tara was sure she could even see the hairs in her eyebrows trembling. She closed Willow's hand in hers and brought it up to her face.
"Touch me. I'm here. I'm right here."
Willow held a shaky hand against Tara's cheek.
"I-I thought I lost you, I thought I lost all of you."
Tara held Willow's hand right where it was, firmly.
"I know. But I'm—"
There was another sudden loud explosion and a few people screamed while flames started spitting from the engine of the truck. Both Willow and Tara were knocked back onto their butts but were at a safe enough distance not to have any damage but for the ringing in their ears.
Willow started looking around desperately. Tara spotted who she was looking for first.
"Xander's okay, he's clearing the scene. They got that man out. C'mon, we gotta move back a bit. It's okay."
They both scooted back, still on the ground, neither quite able to get their legs out from under them.
When they were back as far as the gathering crowd would allow, Tara closed her arms around Willow, holding her as close as she could. She kissed her neck, repeatedly, and tried to keep the tears at bay.
"Everything is…"
not
"Okay."
Willow walked into the bedroom with a ream of papers she was tidying away into a folder.
"Okay, I went through all of our insurance documents and it's obviously a write-off. We were going to have to buy a bigger car anyway so it's not too big of a financial deal. I might have to rent something while we get things dealt with but I've been looking up safety ratings for minivans and I've got a solid five choices we can look into if you're cool with it."
Tara blinked; barely processing a word of that. Her blood pressure had bottomed out when the adrenaline wore off and she'd nearly fainted, leaving her stuck in bed all day with a long time to think.
"Yeah, sure, whatever. I-I don't really care about the car right now."
Willow left the folder on top of the dresser and came over to the bed, kneeling on top of it opposite Tara.
"Sorry. Going into research mode…helped."
"And kiddie cuddles," Tara replied quietly.
"I think Jake has doled out all the hugs we're getting for the rest of the year," Willow joked weakly and looked down, "That guy is okay. The driver. Xander called."
Tara nodded.
"Good. That's good."
Willow's jaw tensed.
"I wouldn't care if he wasn't."
"Don't say that," Tara chastised softly.
Angry tears pricked Willow's eyes.
"You were a thimbleful of pee away from being—"
She cut herself off and looked away. Tara shut her eyes tight and opened them again.
"I need to talk to you."
Willow sat properly with her back against the pillows.
"Yeah, of course. I'm here. We can talk about it."
"Not about the crash," Tara interjected quickly, "Not specifically."
Willow frowned.
"I don't understand."
Tara's face was hard in a way Willow was not accustomed to seeing. It made her nervous.
"I need to talk to you about what happens…if there's ever a situation where there's a choice."
"A choice," Willow repeated but it didn't make any more sense the second time around, "A choice of…?"
Tara's breath grew heavier.
"I need you to promise that if it ever comes down to a choice between me and the babies…that you choose the babies."
Willow's eyes flashed with something and she jumped back off the bed, pacing.
"Tara, don't be…" she shook her head so violently it could have spun off, "Just no."
"Willow," Tara said seriously.
"Tara," Willow returned, almost petulantly.
Tara looked down and closed her eyes.
"Willow, you're my next of kin—"
"I'm your wife," Willow corrected, "I am your WIFE."
"Exactly, you are my wife. This decision will come down to you," Tara replied, unable to cover the shake in her voice, "And I'm asking you to promise me you'll make the right one."
Willow shook her head again.
"You don't get to ask me this."
"I have to ask you this," Tara replied, her voice hollow and pained, "I need you to promise."
"No!" Willow said, waving her hands in front of her definitively.
"Willow," Tara replied, near breaking.
Willow marched toward the door.
"I said no!"
"Do you have to be so fidgety?"
Willow smoothed her hands out over her thighs and held them up defensively.
"Sorry Oscar," she said in a mocking tone, "How's the view from that trash can?"
Tara looked at Willow bitingly.
"Do you know how much of shitty a person it makes you to be sniping at your pregnant wife like this?"
"Whoa," Willow replied, her hands sinking down by her sides, "I was joking."
Tara looked off to the other side.
"Find better jokes."
Willow went rigid with tension and remained like that until Dr. Wells called them into her office.
She trudged in after Tara and sat silently in the free chair, mumbling a greeting when the doctor said hello.
Tara had to lower herself into the chair while gripping the arms and Dr. Wells smiled sympathetically.
"You are big, aren't you? I had to glance at my notes to see were you further along than I remembered."
Tara didn't look mightily impressed with the comment but Dr. Wells didn't catch it as she started looking through the fresh print-outs she'd brought in with her.
"But your weight looks good. Your blood work is looking better than last time, Tara and your glucose diary is still holding steady enough that I don't think you need medication. How are finding the diet and exercise program?"
"Fine," Tara answered quietly.
Dr. Wells nodded along and looked up expecting more but just saw two glum faces.
"Why don't we take a little look, hey?"
She stood and walked over to the examination table.
"Tara, can you get up here?"
Tara slowly walked over but absolutely refused to entertain the idea that it was a waddle. She was only at the halfway point; she couldn't be at the waddling stage yet.
She struggled to push herself up on the table and Willow tried to help but Tara rebuffed her.
"I can do it."
Willow just held her hands up again and took a step back.
Dr. Wells was now glancing between them unsurely but busied herself with setting up the ultrasound.
Tara eventually got herself up onto the table and exposed her belly.
Willow realized how much she really had popped out with just the belly on show and figured Tara must really be worn out. She remembered being that big but it was a lot closer to her due date. She wanted to go up and give her wife's shoulder a little rub but didn't think she'd be welcome so hung back.
The doctor squirted the jelly onto Tara's stomach and brought the probe up to press into her.
"Let's see what we've got going on here," she said in a cheery voice that tried to permeate the tension in the room.
She moved the probe up toward Tara's chest and turned the screen toward them.
"Hello Baby A," she said as little lines went up on the screen as she took measurements, "And there's Baby B, hiding out on us for a moment."
"Are they okay?" Tara asked in a rushed, nervous voice.
Dr. Wells nodded.
"They are looking well. Good size. Baby B still lagging a little behind in measurements but still in the normal range," she said, still trying her hardest to smile enough for the three of them, "Would you like to know the sex?"
Tara just shook her head, though it didn't really seem like she had heard the question. Willow frowned; she'd kind of thought they were going to confirm their suspicions.
Tara suddenly shifted uncomfortably.
"I'm sorry, I really need to use the restroom."
"Of course," Dr. Wells smiled as she wiped the jelly from Tara's stomach, "Quite normal for my patients. I know it's unpleasant having that full bladder for the ultrasound. You know the way?"
Tara just nodded silently and slid herself off the table to waddle-walk out to the restroom.
Willow watched her leave feeling the distance between them grow even further than the few feet to the bathroom. Before she even knew it was coming she found herself dropping back into the chair and bursting into tears.
Dr. Wells didn't miss a beat and came to her side with a box of tissues she plucked from her desk on the way. She bent down to offer a tissue and a soothing voice.
"Are you finding this pregnancy tough, Willow?"
Willow cried for another solid minute before she was able to reply.
"I-I wasn't, but…" she stopped to catch her breath, rolling the tissue all over her nose and swiping at her eyes with embarrassment, "We had an accident at the weekend. A truck slammed into our car."
Dr. Wells put a hand against her chest.
"Oh my lord. I heard about that accident. I didn't know that was the accident you were in when the doctors at the ER called for her records."
Willow dropped her face into her hands.
"We weren't in the car, but Tara…she was in it like a minute beforehand. And now she wants me to make a promise I can't make and she's mad at me and I'm scared I'm making her complications worse but—"
The door opened and Willow tried to turn her body and hide the fact that she was crying but Tara knew right away.
"Willow," she said softly, getting into the chair beside her and placing a hand on Willow's back, which she rubbed in circles.
Willow shut her eyes tight and tried not to crumble even more. Dr. Wells encouragingly held the box of tissues for Tara to take to aid Willow and stood up to her full height and returned back behind her desk.
"I think it's fair to say there's some tension in the room."
She looked at them both sympathetically.
"Is there anything I can help with? Any fears or concerns I can alleviate?"
Tara felt awful that Willow had gotten into this state and just kept rubbing her back.
"I asked her to promise me she'd choose the babies if it came down to a choice."
A fresh sob rose in Willow's throat and it broke Tara's heart.
Dr. Wells nodded evenly.
"While it is good to discuss these matters," she said in a calm voice, "There is absolutely no reason to think there will be any reason to employ that choice. Tara, you're keeping your diabetes is excellent check; the babies are a healthy size, their hearts look good and you're progressing your pregnancy in a perfectly normal manner. I fully believe you'll have a healthy labor and deliver two perfectly healthy baby girls."
Willow looked up for the first time since Tara had returned to the room.
"Girls?"
Dr. Wells looked shocked.
"Oh my lord, I'm so sorry," she said, swallowing multiple times to compose herself, "I've never done that before. Please accept my profuse apologies."
"It's okay," Willow sniffled, eyes drying up as she tentatively glanced to Tara, "We kinda knew."
Tara smiled softly at Willow; an apology and reassurance all at once.
"Yeah, we did," she said softly without averting her gaze, "We've named them."
Willow actually laughed and wiped her eye with her sleeve since the tissue was near disintegration.
"Baby A is Lily and Baby B is Emily."
"Those are beautiful names," Dr. Wells said softly as an acknowledgment but both Willow and Tara were lost in each other, so she didn't take offense when she wasn't replied to.
Willow's gaze was locked on Tara as her face slowly scrunched up.
"Okay," she said after a moment, new tears falling down her cheeks, "I promise."
Dr. Wells read the room and stood back up.
"Would you like a video of the ultrasound?"
Tara briefly looked over and nodded.
"Yes please."
"I'll go organize it," Dr. Wells replied and quietly slipped out the door.
When the door closed behind her, Willow burst into fresh tears and Tara dragged her over in the chair to wrap her in a hug. Willow allowed herself to cry into Tara's chest while Tara stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.
"I'm sorry I've been Oscar the Grouch."
Willow shook her head into Tara's chest.
"Y-You're not Oscar, you're, you're Kermit! All wise and kind and in love with an idiot."
"You're mixing up your puppet shows, honey," Tara said lovingly.
"Or Rowlf the Dog!" Willow offered earnestly.
"I think that's a compliment," Tara replied with a gracious smile.
Willow sniffled.
"Wanna blow off lunch and go home to watch our babies over and over again?"
Tara smiled and nodded.
"I would love nothing more."
Willow gripped Tara's shoulder and squeezed repeatedly.
"I'll give you a massage."
Tara's lips quirked up on one side.
"You can give me more than a massage if you like."
Willow giggled through glassy eyes.
"Are you suggesting some afternoon delight?" she asked, rolling her eyes self-deprecatingly, "Is it the snotty nose? Turning you on too much?"
Tara touched her fingers to Willow's cheek.
"Just my wife. Turning me on by existing."
Willow blushed and ducked her head and finally blinked away the last tear.
"But let's watch the babies first because I didn't get a very good look."
"Lily and Emily. Officially," Tara replied with an unending grin, "We need middle names."
"Lily gets Lisa," Willow said with a sure nod, "Of course."
Tara swallowed deeply.
"Really?"
Willow's brow furrowed with intentional certainty.
"Not even a question," she took Tara's hand, "I know you didn't want to name Robyn 'Lisa' because you didn't want her to have to live up to a ghost, but…I think this one was meant to be."
Tara let out a shaken breath.
"Thank you," she smiled watery and nodded, "You can pick Emily's then—"
"Eve," Willow said without hesitation.
"Oh," Tara replied with a surprised but pleased smile, "Okay. I like Eve. I like it a lot."
"It's Hebrew. My dad will like that," Willow explained, "It means 'living'."
Tara thought that was a very apropos word for them to leave this room with.
"Emily Eve," she said with giddy clarity, "We named our babies."
Willow bit her lip but it did nothing to hold back the smile.
"We should go and let the poor doctor get her room back from the hot mess moms."
Tara offered her hand and Willow let out one long exhale before linking her fingers firmly with Tara's.
They stood together and walked out the door ten times stronger than they had been walking in.
Now they just had to keep that strength for the second half of this pregnancy.
