Hello everyone! Here is Chapter 15. This one turned out better than I initially felt it was going to. Writing really is a process and one that requires you to keep going even when frustrated. I found I had a lot to say here and just had to be patient while figuring out the best way to deliver it all.
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter - it's another long one!
Captain Leland,
I would like to inform you of the findings my men and I have uncovered in the forest lining the Niar Estate and surrounding villages. Having been scouring the Western part of the woods, we've come across a small group of attackers that we believe are connected to the bandits. Two were killed in the commotion and the third escaped into the denser parts of the woods. Soldiers followed in pursuit but his tracks were lost as night fell. I am under the opinion that there is opportunity for this band of miscreants as a whole to be dividing up and travelling this way. As for motive, I am unsure if it is more than a means to remove themselves from your vicinity or not. I am still not ruling out the possibility of their involvement in the injury of my sister due to peculiar behavior from the afore mentioned attackers.
On another note, I would like to inquire of you to speak on any and all information of Lord Roan Niar that you may have. As a host he has been unconquerable in hospitality but I would like a debriefing of his background to gain a better understanding of his position in your government and your personal opinion of the man and his character. I find this only fitting as he has been looking after my sister and Queen of Narnia for some time.
My many thanks and that of Narnia's be with you. May Aslan's blessings be upon your head.
~ High King Peter, Emperor of the Lone Islands and Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion
…..
The next three days were busy and long. Peter, Edmund, and the Narnian's looked diligently for the dwarf Racor and any other people that may be joining him elsewhere. They found no one but another small group wandering the paths in the forest that were excused after looking into where they came from gave them a solid alibi. Throughout the three days more tracks were found, along with an abandoned camp ground, and broken brush. Unfortunately, every one of those leads started running dry much quicker than expected. Peter was exhausted with all the work he was doing, but also because he was trying very hard to make it a point to spend extra time with his family whenever possible. Edmund's arm had multiple slices, and though none were too deep, the younger king was in pain from it. Lucy was constantly trying to convince Peter to allow her to come with them into the woods to further their search, though he always said no. He told her Susan and Edmund had already been hurt out there, he wasn't about to let it happen to her too.
And Anna had been spending her time back at the Estate, flipping between her chores, keeping Lucy entertained, and spending time with Roan.
Lord Roan had been very helpful to Anna after returning from the woods three days prior. He had wrapped her up in his coat to keep her warm and to help calm her. She was shaken. The idea that those creatures may have attacked Queen Susan was scary, but it was worse to see it firsthand happening to her and Edmund. Roan also made sure Edmund's Narnian physician Fordis had enough supplies to clean and bandage his arm. He saw to it that Anna was also looked after on a day to day basis, much to Peter's chagrin. Roan had become very comfortable with Anna, not only spending every meal with her, but interrupting his schedule to no longer help the Narnian's in their search, but to take Anna on walks through the garden and the like.
But Peter was determined to make sure she was seeing the rest of them as well. He had Fordis look over her and Edmund upon their return from the woods. Fordis watched Anna carefully, as he did at every dinner she ate with the Narnian's, and had Peter relay her improvements to him daily. But it was different talking to her himself.
Once he confirmed that she was physically unharmed, he asked her about her memories and headaches. She explained it all to him, feeling rather comfortable having a doctor listen to her and not tell her she was crazy. On the contrary, Fordis told Anna that it was all a good sign indicating that her memories were slowly returning, that she shouldn't fret over the headaches, and not to trouble herself with attempting to force herself to remember. It was putting too much pressure on her and only causing her distress. He finished their meeting by telling her not to hesitate to see him again if she ever felt the need. Anna was able to breathe a breath of relief. It felt good to have his reassurances. It definitely helped her feel better after the incident in the woods. That, along with the time spent with friends.
Peter had decided it was best for his family to spend more time together insight of recent events. He no longer had their meals taken with all of his soldiers, instead it would be just the four of them. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't able to kick Roan from most of them, so four changed to five. Anna was so use to eating with him every day, that she didn't feel polite leaving him out. She also felt a little odd that Peter wanted personal family time with her. But he insisted that she still join them, since she didn't have family of her own around, he said. So she, along with Roan, joined the three Pevensies. Anna quickly found she didn't mind being a part of it, nor did she feel like an intrusion at all. Roan on the other hand wasn't always feeling so at peace. Peter repeatedly questioned him on the travelers who attacked. He asked him more than once if he was certain he had never seen the likes of them before, if he had heard of the Lord Picoan they spoke of, if he was completely sure that he didn't know more about the bandits rummaging their way through the forest behind his home.
For his part, Roan tried very hard to stay calm at all the questioning, but found it rather rude to say the least. He assured the High King over and over that if he knew anything he would have told them by now. To which Peter would simply respond, "I've no doubt, but there are things you may not realize you know. Do think on the matter." Roan was beginning to question whether or not Peter suspected him or Tiran officials of something. And he wouldn't be wrong. Peter had never truly written off anyone that he suspected. As soon as he had heard Susan was missing, he distrusted the Tiran government, as it was their leaders she was going to meet with and they were quite bombastic in relaying their opinion of Susan and Narnia as a whole once she didn't show up.
But then it seemed they were also hunting for the same people Peter was, as the bandits were terrorizing their own people. That very well could cross them off the list as potential suspects, though Peter kept his guard up.
And since he was still unable to directly question the bandits, that left him with Roan. The young lord was quite interesting from the moment he met Peter. The young servant girl Rinda who had first told him of the girl who resembled Susan being on the Estate seemed to be wary of saying anything bad of Roan, though also not too keen on painting him in the best light. Peter's soldiers reported him being naïve though more than willing to lead.
Throughout his time staying there, Peter had found the man's flattery extreme and held in cheap regard, though Anna was quite fond of him. She constantly hailed him in high respects. Peter thought his sister's view of him was only because Roan showed her his very best self. He stepped up, helped and cared for her in a way no one Anna could remembered had. He showed her great kindness and now she looked at him in a light she once looked at Peter in. The High King refused to give into the idea that he was jealous, but rather, more annoyed that his sister could have him around and still turn to Roan for help.
"What else has Lord Roan done to help you in your predicament?" Peter asked her a day after returning from the woods with her.
"Well, he promised to help me find my family, as best as he can, at least. When I first arrived at the Estate, he said he'd ask around the towns if anyone had heard of someone going missing."
"And has he?"
"I'm sure he has. You told me yourself that you heard of me in the villages. Before you arrived, he'd gone into town a couple of times since I came here. Each time he told me no one's heard a thing about me. And he comes from a prominent family. They know a lot of people in the surrounding areas, have a lot of ties. So, if anyone is bound to find out, it's him."
Peter felt anger rising in him. Rinda had told him of Susan, not Roan. Roan had told him the day they met that if he had known he was looking for Susan, with a description as close as Anna's, that he would have taken her to him. Maybe he really hadn't heard about Peter's search, that was one thing. But he said that he hadn't gone into town since she showed up. That day in his study flashed through his mind. Rinda. Rinda looked at Roan oddly when he said that. She knew. She had to of known he was lying.
Peter kept an eye on the lord after that, and hoped that Captain Leland's letter would give him enough information to put him at ease or give him enough reason to take some sort of action to at least remove Susan from the Estate. He knew if he tried without such information, she wouldn't come. Peter kept seeing the reason she wouldn't leave over the past three days. Roan walked with Anna's arm wrapped around his, he'd make sure the kitchen was cooking her favorite foods, he gifted her with small trinkets and flowers. But more than that he talked to her. Asked her how she was feeling, if anything more had come back to her, and reassured her he was there if she ever needed him. And regardless if she did need him, she wanted him around. She even asked for him while going through another particularly painful headache. It drove Peter mad as he felt Roan was infringing on the time that rightfully belonged to him and Edmund and Lucy to spend with their sister in hopes of recovering her memory.
And Peter finally decided to tell Roan this.
"I need you to spend less time with her." He said plainly.
"I'm sorry? I'm not sure I understand, your Majesty."
"I need you to stop taking up my sister's time and attention. I can't just tell her who I am to her and why we are here. She thinks I'm still looking for my missing sister. And in a way, I am. But I can't act like I am doing nothing to find her. That is why the time that is not spent in those woods is vital to me. I would like to devote it to her."
Roan's expression was unreadable. "I wasn't trying to take any of that time away from you, King Peter. I merely am interested in making sure she is okay. And, with all due respect, as you have said, you are not able to be here always to do that. I don't know how much she has mentioned it to you, but she is still struggling with not despairing that no family has come around looking for her yet. I simply try to ease her pain, to help her feel-"
"Feel better with you around, is it?" Peter said accusatorially.
"Excuse me?" It was Roan's turn to look bothered and all the annoyance he had been feeling at having Peter question him these past few days was coming up.
"I see the way you look at her, how you touch her, how so very concerned you are over her." Peter said very pointedly.
"If you are insinuating a wrong motive on my part for treating her with such kindness-"
"I am asking you if there is a reason you are just so very fond of a maid." There was an underlying meaning to his words that needed not to be said.
"She is no maid, you and I both know that."
"Exactly."
Roan looked livid but took a deep breath. When he spoke, it was with a calm anger that left his gray eyes leaden. "When she stumbled upon my property, I didn't know of her identity any more than she did. I only looked to help her. Through that we have gained a mutual respect for each other, a friendship, and if something more should come of it, I assure you that is up to her. It is more than possible for someone to be taken with your sister without hoping to get something out of it. I have only looked after and taken care of her in your absence."
Peter kept his mouth shut as Edmund had always advised was a good thing in times he felt like this. Maybe it was all in his mind. Maybe he was looking to blame someone else for her predicament after not having gone with her himself. After all, she had asked him to. But he didn't like Roan and was growing more and more suspicious of him as time went on and as Susan found herself growing closer and closer to him.
Roan opened his mouth once more before Peter got the chance to.
"And should you continue to question me or my behavior, you should know I don't seek her out while you are gone. She comes to me. Ask her for yourself if you don't believe me, your Majesty."
…...
Later that day after lunch, Roan found Anna working on dusting the downstairs parlor.
"Anna, may I have a moment of your time?"
"Of course." She smiled at him and set her things down as he led her to the settee.
Roan took her hands in his as he spoke. "I just want you to know that my feelings and actions towards you since you came here have been nothing but out of mere concern for you and of a desire to help you."
Anna looked surprised. "I've never doubted that. I am sorry if I've done something to make you think that I thought otherwise." And she looked it, not knowing where this came from.
"Oh no my dear, you've done nothing wrong. I just wanted you to hear that from my own mouth so that it would be clear to you, in case you were to be told something different."
"Why would I be told something different?"
"I really shouldn't - I don't mean to sound like I am speaking ill of anyone. It's just that, well King Peter has become rather questionable of me. You've heard for yourself the doubts he has placed on me over a place as civilized as the dinner table."
It was true, Anna had noticed Peter becoming more and more rigid with Roan. His manners had started to slip and he did ask him things Anna thought should be obvious by now – that Roan was helping them as best he could. Going largely out of his way, even. "I have taken notice of it. Oh, but I do hope you aren't upset with him. I don't think he means anything by it, if he even realizes he's doing it. He's merely worried for his sister and wants to cover all the bases he can. It's been so long since he's seen her. I know he's going mad with guilt and vexation. I can see him starting to crumble."
"I by no means hold any of it against him, as I cannot begin to understand the weight of his circumstances. But he isn't just concerned with me because of his search for Susan, but also because of you."
"Because of me?"
"Yes. It is apparent that King Peter looks at you like he would Susan and he is critical of me because of our relationship. So I feel the need to be honest with you about my intentions. I have never wanted but to help you recover your memory and your family. I am certain that you will, too."
"And I am more grateful than you know for it. Truly, you've been my much needed rock and friend. Thank you." Anna smiled and squeezed his hands. But she thought on what he said about Peter seeing her as he would Susan. She didn't know what to make of it but didn't have much time to think on it either as Roan spoke again.
"It's been a pleasure all mine. But I must tell you something about this. Especially as King Peter proposes more untoward things on my part, I would like to get the truth out in the air. I will not lie, Anna, I have been finding myself growing more and more taken by you as each day passes. I do not mean to place anything on you, it would be the greatest regret of mine to make you feel any more burdensome than what your unjust predicament has already bestowed upon you. But please know that you are welcome here as long as you would like. And that should you ever find yourself wishing to make this your permanent home, with me, I would not deny you that wish. In fact, I would happily grant it to you." Roan's gray eyes were serious yet lovely and sincere, showing Anna he meant what he said.
"I-I thank you, Roan. But I must confess that I am at a loss for words." Anna understood what he was proposing, and though the idea was kind and good, it was not something she was ready for.
"That is not a problem. I do not wish for you to make a swift decision. I think you all the wiser for withholding an answer as this is something that deserves thinking over. All I ask is that you do think it over."
"I will. And I ask for your patience in return. I've got so much to be thinking over already, such a decision as this deserves the quality answer that only time can provide."
"Of course." And with that he stood, placing a kiss to her hand with a smile before leaving her to her thoughts.
…...
That afternoon Peter abandoned all searching and council with his captains and General Oreius to spend the rest of the day with his family. He kept thinking that Susan should remember by now. With all her slips and little pieces of memories, Peter couldn't understand why she hadn't looked at him yet with the knowledge that he was her big brother. Not only that, but he could see the strain it was taking on Edmund and Lucy. After being attacked in the woods, Edmund went on and on about how Peter should have seen her. Anna picked up that bow and arrow and shot with the same accuracy and confidence she always had. She protected her brother like she always had. He thought for sure she would remember after that. And he was slowly getting let down from that hope with the feeling that he shouldn't have been so naïve, so hopeful.
And then there was Lucy. She was spending the most time with their sister the past few days as Peter and Edmund had been in the forest during the middle of day. Lucy talked about having Anna play games with her, braid her hair, walk around the property with her. They even cooked together in the kitchen, much to the embarrassment of the kitchen staff. After all, Lucy was Queen, albeit a rather young one. But these were the things Lucy always liked to do with her sister. She loved it all but Peter noticed how her bright smile was fading slowly with each passing day that Anna didn't remember that she always did these things with Lucy. That she was spending each day with her sister. Lucy even told Peter she found it hard to not let things slip, even little things that Anna should know, but just couldn't remember. And Peter watched as it broke Lucy's heart.
Peter was determined to be hopeful for them all, and prayed to Aslan every night for strength to keep it up. Please Aslan, for their sakes, please bring her memory back.
So, Peter, in order to help all of his family, thought it a good idea to have a picnic, just the four of them, as an early dinner. That way they could spend plenty of time together, and hopefully remind Anna that this was a common occurrence that the four of them had together in Narnia, in order to get away from the strains of running a kingdom. Only now he hoped to get away from the hinderance that was the Niar Estate.
The four took to walking to a farther part of the property Peter had only seen once before. It lay beyond the servant's area where he first found Anna hanging laundry days back. It was further down that side path and lead to a small open area enclosed by a canopy of trees with glimpses of the sky peeking through patches in the leaves.
Along the way the conversation was kept light by Edmund and Lucy, though Peter kept sneaking in questions about Roan to Anna.
"Peter for the last time, I don't know why you keep asking me these things. He's done nothing wrong. I don't like the way you keep accusing him of things."
"I'm not accusing him. I simply asking questions."
"Questions he's answered over and over. Give it a rest, please. At least for now. For-" she nudged her head forward in Edmund and Lucy's direction. "For them."
Peter sighed a little dramatically, while Edmund glanced back at the two of them. It hadn't gone unnoticed to him that Peter was untrusting of Roan, he'd said that much to Edmund over the past few days, but one didn't need to be told that to see it. Even Lucy was aware, she just chose to ignore it as she skipped ahead of them, thankful to have time with all three of her siblings. If she ignored enough of it, it felt just like any other picnic the four of them had back home on the meadows behind Cair Paravel.
And for a while, it felt like just that. The four talked and laughed and occasionally threw pieces of bread and small berries at each other. Peter, Edmund, and Lucy all felt like it was just another memory, it was so similar to how things usually are between them. Anna felt like it was something she would very much like to continue, to have with her own family. And somehow, the Pevensie's always made her feel like she really was one of them too. With them now, it was easy to imagine. She already cared for Edmund and Lucy and wanted to look after them. And Peter had so quickly become her friend and had tried from the start to help her with her amnesia and difficulties surrounding it, that he fit the bill of big brother.
And right now, he was sufficiently fitting the role by driving her crazy. After finishing eating Peter had started mentioning Roan again.
"What have the other servants said about him? Do they enjoy working for him?"
"He is a very generous and fair employer." Anna stated with exasperation.
"Are those your words, or theirs?"
"Peter, please! Why do you keep questioning me? Do you not trust my judgement?"
"It's not you I don't trust."
"I have told you everything he's done for me. You've seen his kindness yourself first hand since you got here! If I were Susan you wouldn't be questioning him like this! You'd be thankful he took such good care of your little sister." Anna said it before really thinking it through, she just had Roan's words about Peter seeing her as his little sister floating through her mind and wanted the questioning to end. Peter though, finally had all his suspicions, guilt, and anger breach at her words.
"You've no idea what I would do if it were Susan!"
"Why, because I don't remember anything?!" She mocked.
"Exactly!"
"I have amnesia, Peter, but that doesn't make me stupid!"
"And I have never once tried to make you feel that you were! I have done nothing but try to help you."
"And I appreciate it, but I do not need your constant surveillance or interrogations!"
"How would you know?! All you've been doing is blindly trusting Roan! I am trying to help you!"
"But I don't need your help, I am not your sister!"
"Stop it!" Lucy cut in with a driving force. Both Peter and Anna froze as they could hear the aching in her voice. Turning to her, they saw tears gathering in her eyes.
Peter sighed. "Lu, it's okay." He said, immediately trying to back track his mistakes.
"Yes, it's fine, Lucy. We were – we were just talking. We didn't mean to get out of hand." Anna was quickly losing all her frustration she had with Peter when seeing the impact it had on the young girl in front of her.
"We were having a nice time. Things felt normal. Why did you have to start fighting?" Lucy said it much more quietly than before. Edmund looked to Peter and Anna and could see their regret already on their faces. They both knew what Lucy meant was that she was able to forget that Susan was gone, even if it were just for a little while.
"Lu, were sorry. We didn't mean to-" Peter started.
"No, we really didn't..." Anna finished.
Lucy bit her lip and both older siblings knew she was holding back tears. Peter stepped forward and placed his hands on her arms.
"Please don't cry, Lu. I'll make it up to you, I promise. We've stopped arguing, see? No more. It can get back to normal now. What would you like to do? Want to keep having the picnic?"
"I just want my sister!" Lucy yelled, pushing away from Peter, and then choked on a sob, tears finally breaking from her eyes and running down her cheeks. She simply stared at Anna, gasping over her own breathes while Peter and Edmund exchange hopeless glances.
"Lucy, we all miss her, we all want her back. We'll find her, too. We just, we just have to wait, is all."
"I'm so tired of waiting, Peter!" She sounded so much more weary than angry or impatient.
"Lu-" Peter started as Lucy continued to cry, coughs forcing their way out of her throat.
"If I may," Anna took a small step forward, glancing at Peter, "I know what it is like to miss your family, and, no offense to your Majesties, but sometimes a girl is just better suited for these things..."
Peter looked confused but then caught on as, eyes never leaving the Kings, Anna took another step forward and nodded in Lucy's direction, asking permission. Peter signaled her forward as Lucy merely looked on longingly and with a wavering bottom lip.
Anna set her eyes on Lucy and continued walking towards her. "I cannot begin to know what you're feeling, Lucy. But I do know what it is like to miss your family, to not know where they are. To wonder. And I know I am not Susan, but-"
Lucy released another sob at those words and threw herself the extra step forward, burying her face into Anna's dress. Anna wrapped her up immediately, gently carding her fingers through the younger's hair, quietly shh-ing her.
"It's alright, Lu. It's alright."
Edmund looked to Peter with a broken expression. It hit Peter, too, seeing Lucy so upset over missing Susan, only for Susan, still missing her memory and unknown to herself, to react just the same as usual, comforting and kind and forever caring. Doing everything she could to calm Lucy's fears. Not knowing she was the very reason Lucy was crying. Listening to them now, hearing Lucy's soft cries and Susan's even softer voice drawing out all the pain and ridding it from her little sister, it was hard to really understand that Susan still didn't know that she was holding her family.
….….
Once Lucy's crying had turned into hiccups, Anna led the young girl back to the house and up to Anna's room. She had the kitchen send up some cookies and hot chocolate for the Queen. Anna had taken a wash cloth to clean Lucy's face and helped her change into a soft, light, night gown. Then she started undoing the ribbons holding together the plaits in Lucy's hair and brushing through it as the little one sat in a simple chair in front of a small vanity. All the while Anna made little jokes about the tangles in Lucy's hair and how fast they were putting away the cookies.
"If you eat any more of those, you'll make yourself sick."
"Oh no, this is nothing compared to my record. I rival even Peter and Ed when it comes to eating desserts."
Anna laughed and the girls fell into a comfortable quiet for a minute while Anna was still working through the knots in Lucy's hair. But when Anna glanced at Lucy, her eyes looked far off. Anna still felt bad and responsible for upsetting Lucy. She wanted to make it right, to do something to make her feel better. Anything to take her mind off her missing sister. She bent down, becoming eye level with the girl in the mirror.
"You're beautiful." Anna smiled at Lucy's reflection, trying to pull her back to the moment.
"Not as beautiful as you."
Anna looked surprised for a moment and then let out a small laugh. Lucy looked confused, serious.
"I don't think that is true at all." Anna said.
"I do."
"Well then we will just have to agree to disagree." Anna smiled again at Lucy in the glass and the younger returned it.
The two sat in silence for a moment while Anna continued to gently brush her hair. Lucy stared at Anna's reflection.
"How do you do it?" she asked suddenly.
Anna looked up. "Do what?"
"Earlier you said you know what it's like to miss your family. You meant because you don't remember yours, don't know who they are or where they are at. How do you bear it?"
Anna looked taken off guard by the question. "I-I don't know. I try not to think about it, I guess. I like to tell myself that since I don't remember them, don't remember what I am missing, that it shouldn't hurt. I also think I'm a bit worried to find out who they are. What if they aren't who I think they will be. What if I don't like who I find out I am. I mean it doesn't seem like anyone is even looking for me."
"Why would you even think that you wouldn't like who you are?"
Anna paused. She didn't want to answer the question, especially not to a queen. But at the same time, she felt that it might make her feel better finally putting it out into the air. And Peter was so understanding, why wouldn't his sister be as well. Lucy was looking at her expectantly so Anna finally answered.
"Because of the way I lost my memory."
"I thought you didn't remember what happened?"
"I don't. But I do remember waking up alone in the woods, dress torn, bloodied and bruised. I remember the looks people gave me when I stumbled onto the Niar Estate. They were scared. It isn't normal for anyone to be in my predicament. Who knows what kind of life I lead up to that point that would have put me in a situation to end up like I have."
Lucy looked like she wanted to cry again. Anna didn't know why her story would cause such a response in the young girl. It reminded her of the looks Peter had given her that she wasn't able to discern. These Pevensie's are a different sort.
"I don't believe that you are a bad person. There are all sorts of reasons you could have ended up like that. It doesn't make you bad. You should be proud of who you are! You're good. I know that you're are good!" Lucy's outburst surprised Anna.
"And how do you know that?"
Lucy didn't answer right away. Something flicked over her face too quickly for Anna to describe. But then she simply answered, "Because you are good now. You don't have a clue who you are but yet you are kind. That doesn't just happen, you know. Besides, I am an excellent judge of character." Lucy looked defiant, like she wasn't going to put up with any argument Anna made against her.
"Funny, you remind me very much of your brother."
"Which one?"
"Well let's see, which one is insistent, obstinate, stubborn?"
Lucy cracked a smile. "Both of them." The two laughed together. Somehow Anna knew both Pevensie boys were that way.
…...
A quiet knocking sounded at the door. Anna's tired eyes opened wider and she straightened her hair as best she could. Who would be calling on her this late? When she opened the door, matching blue eyes met hers.
"Oh, Peter, hullo." she whispered.
"Hello. I'm sorry to bother you so late, I was just wondering if you've seen Lucy, I haven't been able to find her since earlier and she is not in her room-" Anna pulled the door back further to reveal a sleeping Lucy on her bed.
"She fell asleep while I was reading to her from a story book I found in Roan's library. I doubt he'll miss it." she added, as she realized she was admitting to a king that she had taken something not belonging to her.
"I doubt so too." Peter chuckled as he looked at the scene before him. How familiar this was, yet it felt like it'd been so long since he'd found a sleeping little sister tucked soundly into a bed that belong to another, also very tired, little sister.
"I am sorry, I didn't realize she had stayed with you so long. I know you have much to do. I hope she wasn't a bother."
"None at all. We had fun. By the time she fell asleep I think she was feeling much better too."
Peter glanced around and saw the remains of the hot chocolate and cookies on the nightstand. He smiled. "I have no doubt she was. Thank you for taking such good care of her."
"I'm glad I could help. I know how badly you all want to find Susan. She's been very brave."
"You have no idea."
Anna sighed a sad, almost wistful sigh, and a thought popped into Peter's mind. He wasn't sure it was the best thing to say, but he couldn't seem to stop himself long enough to think it over.
"You know, you said you believe you have an older brother. Did you ever think you may have younger siblings? I mean the way you've cared for Edmund and Lucy, it's the same way Susan does. You would be a very good big sister. You've all the making of one." He smiled at her and, leaning in, nodded over to where Lucy was cozily tucked in, limbs splayed all over the small bed, mouth slightly agape, and a peaceful look on her face. As Peter and Anna looked on, he heard a smile in her voice.
"Maybe so. I think I'd quite like that."
"I'm sure they would too. Your little siblings, I mean." If she caught on to his slip up, she didn't let on. She merely continued to look at Lucy.
"I can see why you love them so much." She smiled. "It's rather hard not to, having them look at you the way they do. Eyes wide, pleading, hopeful. Like you have all the answers."
"Yes, my younger siblings have mastered the art of making me susceptible to their every whim. And just about everyone else, as well."
"Troublesome little siblings."
"Troublesome little siblings."
They said in unison. Anna laughed, as did Peter, to cover up his surprise. How very much she sounded like herself right now. Please Aslan, let her remember. Remember me, Edmund, Lucy. Please.
Anna turned to look at him again, a tired smile on her face. Peter knew that look too. She was happy, at least for the moment. He wanted to keep her happy. Edmund and Lucy weren't the only little siblings he meant had mastered the art of having him wrapped around their fingers. Susan was the first one to learn it. She had been his shadow; much the same way Edmund became both of theirs and then Lucy once she came along. Susan was his first to protect. He wouldn't let her down now. But what she needed most right now was sleep. So, he walked over to the bed and gently scooped Lucy up, careful to keep her from waking.
"Good night. And thank you again for helping Lucy."
"Good night. And it was my pleasure." She softly combed stray pieces of hair out of Lucy's face and tucked them behind her ear while Peter spoke.
"I hope you know, I wasn't trying to be intrusive or bothersome with my questions earlier. I know it doesn't seem like it to you, but I am thankful to Roan for all he's done to help me and my family. And you." Peter said quietly and sincerely.
"I know you are. And I am sorry for yelling at you. I said some things I shouldn't have."
"All is in the past now. Lucy made sure of it." Peter let out a small laugh. "Sleep well."
"You too."
Peter resisted the habit of planting a small kiss on her forehead and instead kept his feet moving. He made it halfway out the door until Anna spoke again.
"Maybe you're right."
"What's that?" When he turned back, he saw a strange look on her face, straining almost, mixing with her sleepy visage.
"Maybe I do have a little brother or sister. Maybe both."
"I wouldn't be surprised."
She yawned. "Good night, Peter."
