Madoka stared out of the window next to her bed, her hand held palm open. A grief seed clad in clef notes balanced on its pointed base against the trembling flesh. There was an atmosphere of grief in the air, a stain apparent on the case of the pillow resting at the seal of the window frame.
The recently contracted magical girl had wet cheeks and a red nose, sadness masking her normally innocent looking face. The impression of pain was obvious, showing her recent trauma.
Madoka couldn't have imagined the necessity of grieving her friend so soon. She had wanted to grow old with Sayaka. She had wanted to live her life with her best friend there. Imagining graduating high school without her, going to university without her, getting a partner without her, living through life without her... it hurt Madoka deep in her chest.
But she had been blind. She had been blind to the pain Sayaka had been suffering. If only Madoka had said something about the stains of blood she noticed on the taller girl's sleeve or the few times she caught Sayaka running whatever sharp edge against her skin... She hadn't though.
Madoka's cherry shaded eyes finally broke their stare with the night's sky, landing on the grief seed instead. The teen felt tears begin to prickle in the corners of her eyes again. She took in a sharp breath and shook her head, trying to get a grip on her emotions. She closed her hand around the seed before turning and stepping off of the edge of the bed.
Madoka hadn't any idea where she would keep the grief seed, but she knew she had no intention of using it. She couldn't. That seed was Sayaka.
The post-secondary student took in a sharp breath as she slipped the grief seed into the corner of her top drawer. It was frightening that she had sacrificed so much to help her friends. She knew that she would one day become a witch like Sayaka had. But that fate was something she could fight against. She had to. She needed to be around to protect Homura. She needed to protect Kyouko too, even if she barely knew the homeless girl.
Madoka moved back to her bed before sitting down and sighing. She was developing a headache, struggling to even imagine sleeping. She glanced at her phone. It was nearly 2 in the morning already. School in the morning would surely be difficult.
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw either the witch of Sayaka or the tattered remains of Mami. The images tugged at her deeply, in a way she couldn't ignore. Whenever she thought that she was alright enough to close her eyes again, she then saw the bloody mess of Homura on the other's bathroom floor.
Madoka rolled over and over and over all throughout the night. She dozed off occasionally but it was all short lived.
Her alarm went off at exactly 7:15am, just as she always had it set. The small girl groaned and pulled herself into a sitting position despite the aching behind her eyes. Madoka would surely set worry into her parents, Hitomi, and definitely Homura if she missed class.
Her joints aches from her ill-rested night as she slowly unraveled herself from the blanket she had been entangled in during the night. Her hair was a wild disaster and the dark circles under her eyes told no lies of how much rest she didn't get. Madoka let out a yawn as she padded her way to her closet so she could pull on her school uniform.
Ten minutes and a change of clothes later, Madoka opened her door and started down the hall to the dining area of her home. She felt both numb and raw, two things she hadn't experienced since her pet bird had died when she was very young. Maybe it was silly of her to compare the death of a pet to the deaths of two very important people in her life, but she hadn't any other reference points to base from.
"Good morning, Madoka." The voice her dad rang out. Just the familiarity of it brought her comfort.
"Madoka! Madoka! Morning!" Tatsuya chanted as he hit the fork he was holding on the tray of his high chair.
Madoka let a small smile appear on her hollow looking expression. "Good morning." She said softly as she came around the island in her living room, giving her dad a small hug before leading herself to her chair at the table. Her breakfast was already laid out and ready for her, but the food looked more daunting than anything.
"Are you okay?" Her mother asked, a perfectly drawn eyebrow disappearing behind her fringe.
Madoka let out a small breath, not even acknowledging that she had been holding anything in. "I'm... getting by." She answered softly. She couldn't tell her parents what she had seen. To them, Sayaka had committed suicide by jumping from a building. There were no magical notes to be had in the police report that had been told on the morning and evening news the day before.
Junko reached over and rested her hand atop Madoka's for a moment. "I love you so much... Are you sure you want to go to school today?" She asked, eyeing her daughter with a sympathetic glint.
Madoka nodded, taking in a small breath. "Yes. I don't need to get behind... besides, I'm sure Hitomi and the others would be worried if I didn't come."
Her mother locked eyes with her, a soft gaze decorating her face. "I'm sure your friends would understand if you didn't want to go." She said, before moving her hand back to her side of the table. "But if you insist." She knew Madoka would do whatever was right, even if it didn't seem like the best choice for that moment. That was one of the more endearing traits Madoka had.
"Thank you, mama." Madoka said, giving her mom a weak smile before she picked up the toast on her plate and began picking at it, her stomach churning. Food didn't seem like a good idea at that moment.
The rest of breakfast went by unperturbed, much to Madoka's liking. She wasn't sure she could handle anymore changes to her routine at that moment. "Alright, I'm leaving for school. Love you guys." Madoka said as she she stood up from her chair. She had barely gotten through her toast, not even trying to eat the rest of what was on her plate.
"Stay safe, Madoka." Her dad chimed in as the other two echoes reminders of love.
Madoka closed the front door behind her and sighed. Her head was pounding and her stomach hurt. She hated these emotions. She felt like she was useless with such negative feelings surrounding her. But how could she not be negative? Her best friend had killed herself. Her senpai had been killed in a witch's labyrinth. It was so much weight to bare.
The walk to school felt like it hung in time, as if there was no clock ticking in her ear. It was a frightening feeling. She couldn't tell how time was moving and it brought about foreign feelings in her.
"Yo." Madoka was intercepted in her walk by someone. Her mind took a long moment before she recognised the person in front of her.
"Oh, hi, Kyouko." She said softly, sure she looked pale.
Kyouko frowned before she took the pocky-stick out of her mouth. "Are you really plannin' on goin' to school?"
"I'll worry everyone if I don't." Madoka responded, her voice shaking a little.
Kyouko shook her head. "Hell no, you ain't goin'." The redhead said, grabbing Madoka's wrist. "How could you jus' go about your life like that? She was your best friend, right?"
Madoka looked at the other with glassy eyes. "I..." She hesitated. She couldn't voice her thoughts. She couldn't gather said thoughts. Was she even thinking anything?
"We gotta figure some shit out, and we ain't gonna do that with you sittin' in some dumb class." Kyouko said, a small glare on her face.
Madoka's cherry blossom shaded eyes moved to match Kyouko's fire-like ones. "I'll worry everyone if I don't..." She repeated softly, her voice carrying a little of uncertainty. Would she worry everyone? Or would the behaviour of moving through time as if things hadn't gone sour be more alarming? Madoka couldn't tell.
"Bullshit. C'mon." Kyouko said, pulling the thin girl by the wrist she hadn't let go of. "You ain't goin' today." The hooligan decided for her.
Madoka didn't know where Kyouko was taking her or what they were going to do, but she didn't ask. Her mind was buzzing numbly and she couldn't find the words to ask what was going on.
They both walked into the busy main district of Mitakihara, Kyouko leading with confidence. She led them to a park, one Madoka had recognised as a place Sayaka liked to stroll when she was struggling to relax.
"We gotta talk 'bout all this shit. Akemi ain't talkin', Mami wasn't, and Sayaka wasn't either. I've been a magical girl long enough to know this dysfunctional shit is toxic." Kyouko said as she pulled a package of pocky from her back pocket. "What's goin' on up there?" She asked, tapping Madoka's temple.
The pink clad girl looked surprised at the words of the other. Out of all of the people she knew, Kyouko was the last one she expected to be so... real. "I..." Madoka started, her voice shaking a bit. "I just want to help..." Her voice went quiet. "I see Homura-chan hurting and I can't do anything to ease that..."
Kyouko made a tsk noise as she crossed her arms. "Akemi's the kinda girl who believes she's got it all figured out. A few extra hands ain't gonna change that."
Madoka nodded a little at the comment before speaking again. "It is scary to know how much she shoulders alone... I can see it in her eyes. The way she looks at everyone... It's like she's seen so much bad. I wish I could erase that."
Kyouko shook her head and took a bite of her pocky stick. "You can't." She stated. "You can't undo what someone's seen. All you can do is help 'em see somethin' different for the future." There was a bit of foresight written on Kyouko's face, though she didn't acknowledge it.
Madoka looked down and let out a small sigh. "The... the problem is... I don't know if I can be that person... Homura-chan won't let me be."
The redhead didn't immediately reply. She knew as well as anyone who had been around Homura for any number of minutes could tell, the time-controller was a brick wall. She didn't accept advice or help. She had a method and that was just how things had to go.
Madoka looked up at Kyouko before she ran her hands over her face as if you wake herself up a little. "If I can just influence her even a small bit, I will consider that a success." She said, before clearing her throat and smiling at Kyouko. "You know, I hadn't considered how much talking would help."
Kyouko gave her a half-grin in return. "Yeah, sometimes just a good rant of thoughts can help." She replied. "But... don't get your hopes up with Akemi. Take care bein' around her."
Madoka looked over at the fountain that was perfectly placed in the centre of the park. "I know. She has seen a lot... but if I can just shoulder a little bit of that burden, I will be happy."
Kyouko's gaze followed the other's and she nodded. "I guess, if you think you can." She said softly. "I don't think I have the tenacity to keep up with her. It just doesn't click with me, ya know? I don't get it. Like, workin' for herself? Sure. But the way she goes 'bout it is just... somethin' I don't get."
Madoka let out a sound of thought before she spoke again, "I think she's just trying not to let anyone else hurt. She takes too much on herself."
Kyouko raises an eyebrow and then let out a small chuckle. "Right. I dunno about that. Maybe I just don't see it."
Rosy eyes looked over at the redhead before she smiled at her. "That's okay. I've been known to see the best in everyone, no matter what."
Kyouko clicked her tongue. "That can be a bad thing, ya know."
"Maybe so. But I think it's a gift." Madoka spoke. "I really am feeling better now... talking about all this really helped me out. Thanks, Kyouko-chan!" She said, smiling at the other.
Kyouko nodded, "Told you, talkin' it out can help."
Madoka couldn't help but smile. She looked at her shoes before shifting her weight. "Hmm, I think I can probably handle class now."
Kyouko raised her eyebrows and spoke, "You sure? School is such a chore."
Madoka nodded as she checked the time on her phone. "Yeah, it's going to be art class soon and it's my favourite."
Kyouko roller her eyes a little. Of course art was her favourite. "Fine, fine. I gotta go get some lunch soon anyway. Too long now and I'll be gettin' sick from hunger."
Madoka unzipped her bag before pulling out a sandwich and offering it to Kyouko, "Here, as a thanks for today. It's not a lot, but it'll at least tide you over for a bit."
The veteran eyed the sandwich for a moment before taking it. "I never turn down good food. Thanks."
Madoka gave Kyouko one last smile before she started onto her path to school. "Have a good day, Kyouko. Thanks again!" She said before taking off.
The rose-coloured magical girl hadn't imagined talking it out with someone would help relieve even just a little of the weight from her shoulders. Of course, things were still rough but the future felt a little bit easier to handle. Maybe it was Madoka's hopeless optimism feeding her lies, but she felt like she could go on another day even through the grief.
