Overwhelmed, Overworked And Underprepared – Clay Spenser

Clay Spenser looked out at the vast open grassy space that surrounded his Navy Base that was home for him in Virginia Beach as he took a short reprieve whilst on his second run of the day after having included a gym session where he spent some time lifting weights and punching a punching bag repeatedly as he tried to vent his frustration for what he saw as his own failings as everything had become overwhelming. Clay had let his feet lead him with no real direction in mind in the high heat of the summer's day; he was sure that he vaguely could recall someone saying that they were in the middle of a heat wave and he was sure there had been warnings issued on base about being out in the sun at certain times of the day but he had paid no attention to it as he had geared up to go for his second run outside in all of his Bravo gear including his body armour. He had stopped when he realised where he was and felt his chest heave which he knew was not just because he had been sprinting for a fair distance in the hot sun with the added weight of his gear. How he had ended up at the exact spot where his best friend Brian had landed and died in the field after his parachute and reserve had failed to deploy was something that he could not explain.

Clay bent forward and placed his hands over his padded knees as he felt the sweat drip down his face from his hair and he could feel that his shirt was sticking to every part of him under his Kevlar vest. Clay panted fast and let himself collapse down into the grass onto his knees and then onto his back so that he was lying down looking up at the clear blue sky as the sun shone down on him. He let his tongue poke out between his lips and frowned at how thick his tongue felt as he licked at his dry lips. He reached his hand out and rested it on the ground knowing exactly where he placed it was where Brian had impacted the ground, where his head had landed, that location and that image would forever be seared into his brain. He did not realise he had closed his eyes until he forced them open and gasped at the image of Brian's mangled body as he arched his back off of the ground.

Clay rolled over onto his stomach and up onto his knees hanging his head down as a wave of dizziness came over him knowing he had to get up onto his feet and make his way back to base to get out of the sun as he had set out without bringing any water to drink which he mentally added to the growing list of his own failings. That list of failings had seemed to increase tenfold in the past few days as everything bubbled back to the surface, everything that he had buried deep within himself, and had him doing his upmost to avoid it all. He knew he should get up but he did not have the energy too nor was he ready to move away from Brian's place of death so he rocked himself until he fell back so that he was seated on his backside as another wave of dizziness made his head spin. Maybe it would not be so bad if he rested his eyes for a little bit, Clay decided as his chest had finally stopped heaving but he was exhausted and his head hurt terribly which was only made worse by the sun.

SEAL TEAM

Derek, from Alpha team, frowned as he caught sight of Clay completely geared up with everything but his weapons and heading out into the fields on a run or rather sprinting. Derek had seen Clay first thing in the morning as he returned to their apartment block after his first run and then had glimpsed him as he worked out in the gym. Derek was concerned before but now he really was worried especially considering that none of Bravo had been with Clay. Derek knew that something was going on with Clay and had been for a few days as he had been distracted and only leaving his apartment to work out as far as he could tell. Something had to be done and the first thing that came to Derek's mind was to locate any of Bravo and see if they knew what the hell was going on with their youngest, and if they did not then he would gather Alpha and go in search of Clay himself.

Derek shook his head and grabbed a fresh ice cold bottle of water as it was hotter than hell as the heatwave that was assaulting Virginia Beach showed no signs of easing any time soon as he moved away from the coolness of the air conditioning unit that he had been standing directly under.

"Where the hell are you going?" Full Metal, his given name of Scott Carter, and Alpha 1, asked as none of his team had any desire to move away from the cool air including himself except for Derek whose demeanour had changed from relaxed to concerned within seconds. His question had caught the attention of Franklin and the rest of Alpha who looked between the two men.

Derek stopped and turned around to look back at Full Metal. "To find Bravo." There was no point in being deceitful and it was not in him too. Full Metal quirked his eyebrow up in a 'please explain' motion which made Derek sigh as he did not want to wait and have to explain but he knew he had no other option. "To see if they know what is going on with their kid and why he is in full gear and sprinting towards the fields especially in this heat." Derek pointed towards the window where Clay was far away in the distance having covered a lot of ground in the short time that their discussion had taken. With that said and his teammates turning to look out of the window at Clay's retreating figure, Derek turned away and continued on his mission to locate the rest of Bravo. It was more than a few seconds before Derek heard the rest of Alpha scrambling to catch up with him.

"What do you mean by what is going on with their kid?" Franklin, Alpha 3, asked picking up on Derek's concern and feeling his own concern grow as Clay should definitely not have been out running during the hottest part of the day and most definitely not with all of his gear on.

Derek did not answer because he really did not have an answer, it was only a gut feeling and from observations of his behaviour in the past few days as he turned the corner in the corridor determined to find Bravo as he headed for their cages hoping that they were like Alpha by hiding out from the heat and enjoying the fully cranked air conditioning that the base's engineers were working on keeping running constantly.

"Derek, slow down a minute. You cannot just force yourself into Bravo's cages and go all Derek on them!" Full Metal reminded him having caught the determined look in his eyes and knowing that Derek had a particular fondness for Clay much like they all had but he also knew that Derek needed to take a step back and let Bravo explain before lecturing them.

That comment had Derek stopping abruptly and spinning around to look at them as they all halted and stumbled over themselves at the abruptness of it as they had been unprepared for the sudden stop. Derek pinned Full Metal with a glare that would make most men wilt but Full Metal just gave him a knowing smirk as he knew that he had hit the nail on the head figuratively and that he was about to protest that he had no idea what he was talking about. "I am just going to ask them a few questions. I am NOT going to go all Derek on them unless it is warranted!" Derek growled before he spun on his feet again and continued his mission, once again with the rest of Alpha scrambling to keep up with him.

It did not take long for Derek and the rest of Alpha to reach Bravo's room that housed their cages. The door was wide open as the men lounged round in various chairs under the air conditioning all in various states of undress to help them keep cool which made it a lot easier for Derek to walk straight in with the rest of Alpha following.

Jason raised his eyes up and over to Alpha before he focused in on Derek who was leading the pack. "What's going on?" Jason asked as he moved his gaze from Derek to Full Metal who simply nodded his head towards Derek. The rest of Bravo had straightened up in their seats as they looked between the men of Alpha and themselves not liking the tension that appeared to be radiating from Derek.

"That is what I want to know. Where is Clay?" Derek asked testing Bravo as seeing them as relaxed as they were set him on edge especially with Clay working out like a madman and not with any of them. Maybe Full Metal had been right about him going 'all Derek' on them, oops.

Bravo exchanged curious and surprised glances at Derek's question and at his tone, and they had not missed how Full Metal had reached his hand out and placed it on Derek's shoulder holding him in place but Derek did not relent as he waited for an answer. "Blondie hasn't come in today yet, figured he found somewhere cooler to lay low." Sonny answered as he shrugged his shoulders knowing that they technically did not have to be on base today but it was also the coolest place so that was where they all were. Derek's scoff set them all on edge and had them straightening up even more and leaning forward in their chairs as they felt like they were missing something.

"He has not been in today or you have not seen him today?" Franklin asked knowing that Bravo always took care of Clay whether he wanted them to or not but even he had to admit that it seemed that they had dropped the metaphorical ball this time. He still did not have the full picture on what had Derek so alarmed or upset but he figured that he and the others would find out soon enough.

Ray had not missed how Full Metal leaned inconspicuously closer to Derek and spoke lowly to him but it seemed to do nothing to ease the tension that was radiating from him. "What's going on?" Ray asked, ignoring Franklin's question, as he stood up not liking the line of questioning that Alpha had started with.

Derek took one large step forward and Full Metal went with him as he was still holding onto his shoulder then stopped. "Did anyone think to check in with him? When was the last time any of you saw or heard from him?" Derek asked knowing that both teams had been given time off and did not need to be on base after their last mission which was a joint one but they all still came in to work out, sort through their cages, hang out and stay cool. His questioning had the rest of Bravo joining in with Ray by standing up but their actions did not disguise their shared glances.

Full Metal sighed knowing that Derek was getting more and more worked up despite how calm he still looked but he could feel the tension that was radiating from him. The pointed questions that Derek had thrown at Bravo were ones that Full Metal wanted answered too as he knew that whatever was going on in his number two's head was serious and he truly was worried about Clay. But he also knew that they did not need for Bravo to get defensive and waste to much more time considering Clay was out in the sweltering heat in full gear sprinting like he was being chased; sure he was on base but that did not mean that nothing could happen. "Enough Two. We will sort it out later." Full Metal knew that Derek was unhappy at being shut down but it was in Clay's best interests that they focused on finding him rather than getting answers. He turned to Jason to address him who now looked worried, "Clay is on base, outside in full gear, sprinting."

"What?" Trent spat out already mentally running through the list of all the things that could go wrong by being overexposed to the unseasonal heat coupled with overexertion especially in their gear with the weight that it added to them.

"This is Clay's third workout of the day and it is not even lunchtime." Derek shared catching the look of surprise from all of the men, not just Bravo but his own team as well as he had not shared that piece of information with them before now.

"How do you know that?" Full Metal turned his attention to Derek realising why he was so worried and that he had been keeping an eye on Clay for a while at least.

Derek pulled his eyes from Bravo and turned his attention to Full Metal. "Trish isn't sleeping so we were up earlier than usual. Clay went for a run at 05:30 and I walked out to come here at 07:45 to find him returning to his apartment. By 09:00 he was working out in the gym here on base, going full throttle. It's now 11:45 and he is out in the heat in full gear sprinting like he is trying to emulate a cheetah." Derek laid out Clay's work out schedule so far with the barest of details knowing that he would not be pressed further for more details.

"Hold on! Time out!" Sonny made the universal time out signal with his hands wondering how the hell Alpha had got so involved and how the hell he and the rest of Bravo had missed whatever was going on with Clay. Sonny's exclamation had everyone pausing and shifting their attention to him. "Blondie has been unusually quiet but he has given us no reason to worry. Blondie gets like this sometimes but he rights himself. We all need a bit of space sometimes. Let's all just step off the panic buttons right now." Sonny was being rational despite the overwhelming panic he felt building up inside of him as he wondered what the hell was going on in Clay's head that had him pushing himself to the limit or well over it.

"We need to find him. In full gear in this heat sprinting he will not last long." Trent informed them gravely as he was already moving towards his cage for his medical kit merely as a precaution while Brock moved to his own cage to get Cerb's vest, long lead, and protective booties for his paws as the ground was too hot for him to be standing on without them. Trent's tight tone made all of Bravo realise the seriousness of the situation even though they were not aware of all of the worrisome thoughts that were swirling around in the medic's head.

Jason knew that Trent was already in medic mode as he followed his lead and began to pull on his long sleeved shirt. "Which direction was he heading in?" Jason asked rushed as Ray and Sonny were getting sorted as well, his question was not directed at any of Alpha in particular.

"Sure you don't want to stay here and continue to not see that something is off with him?" Derek could not stop the comment from coming out of his mouth. Maybe he was being unfair but it truly felt like those closest to Clay should not have missed that he was struggling. "We can handle finding him just like we are looking out for him." Apparently Derek could just not stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

"Derek, enough, that's an order!" Full Metal had pivoted around so that he was face to face with Derek as the last thing that Alpha needed was to be offside with Bravo. "Five, get comms for all of us, Four, get your med kit, Three, get us a couple of vehicles." Full Metal ordered his men knowing that the more of them searching the large area then the quicker they would find Clay before he turned back to Bravo as his men went off to get the items he had ordered them too. "He was heading for the fields that Green Team use to train, more in the direction of the landing site for the parachute unit of their training. It's a big area to cover so the more of us on the ground then the better chance we have of finding him quickly. Nothing else is to be said unless it is to decide where we are searching or if we have found him until after we find Clay and assess how he is." It was best to take charge and not waste any more time with the order being firmly directed at Derek.

"Why the hell… Dammit… Goddamn it blondie…" Sonny cursed after he broke off the question that he had begun to ask out loud as a thought about where exactly Clay might have ended up if he had paused in his running popped into his head.

"Sonny… share it or shut it just like Full Metal ordered." Jason knew they had a lot of questions to answer but their first priority would be locating Clay and getting him back inside and out of the heat. He wanted to reprimand Derek but as much as he wanted to he also realised that he was right, that they missed that something was going on with their kid and none of them had bothered to check up on him when he had not shown up for the day especially knowing that he did not really have too many people outside of the Navy that he was friends with.

"If he is heading for the fields that they use for Green Team to practise landing from parachute jumps then… I have found him there once before when he was restricted to base and he needed to think… I don't think he realises until he gets there that is where he is headed…" Sonny frowned hoping like hell he was wrong but it made sense although it also felt like a part of him was betraying Clay's trust by sharing it.

"Sonny?!" Trent knew that Sonny was rambling because he was worried but they did not have time to wait for him to ramble and spit out the information that he obviously felt was of some importance. "Where did you find him?" Trent hoped it would help narrow down the location or at least give them a starting point to work out from.

"Clay's friend, Brian, where he landed is where I found him. Clay has the co-ordinates lodged somewhere in that big brain of his, and he is kind of like a homing pigeon as he can go to the spot without any sort of help." Sonny winced at his own words as he knew how they sounded and he hated sharing something that was deeply personal to Clay without his permission.

"We will talk about that later but for now that is where we will start. Hopefully he is there." Jason was not going to let Sonny off for not telling him that he had found Clay in that field before but he was also thankful that he had as they now had a better idea of where to start looking.

"We're with you." Full Metal nodded towards Jason who was grateful for the help as the three men of Alpha returned with all of the items that had been requested.

It was within mere minutes that Bravo and Alpha were loaded up in the secured vehicles heading for the fields that were used to practise landing with only the loosest idea of where Brian had met his unfortunate and tragic ending because the one person that would know was no longer with them after he had sacrificed his own life to save Bravo's, Adam Seaver.

SEAL TEAM

Bravo and Alpha made the drive in mere minutes then disembarked but of course spotting Clay when he was dressed in full camo and in a field of long dry grass was not going to be easy. The men had only been outside for less than ten minutes and they were already sweating profusely which said just how hot it was considering how often they operated in the desert so they were used to extreme temperatures.

Sonny looked around at the field trying to recall the exact spot in the vast expanse of the area but the last time had been a lot easier as the grass was cut shorter and a luscious green colour and he was not wearing his gear either. He cursed under his breath as he surveyed the area but there was nothing that he could have used as a reference marker because the field was void of trees or anything else that could cause an injury to those landing after they had jumped out of the plane. "Jase… I…" He shook his head annoyed that he had no idea which way or where exactly Brian had died considering how much he had meant to Clay. It only added to the frustration he felt and the worry.

"We will find him Sonny, for all we know he could have kept running or taken a less direct route back to the building." Jason hoped that it was the case but he also knew how unlikely it was especially by the look that Trent sent his way.

"Any idea of the direction where the accident happened?" Full Metal asked as he watched Derek clamber up on top of the roof of the vehicle that they had requisitioned then stand to his full height in hopes of spotting Clay or at least some sign that he or someone had moved through the grass recently while the rest of his men surveyed the area from various points as they had spread out around the vehicle.

"No, like everyone else we only heard the news after it happened. There are very few people who know the exact place and I would rather not waste time trying to track down the men who were with Clay in that team in hopes that they know or recall the exact location especially when I know that Adam kept them away with the exception of Clay who was not going to let his friend be alone even after he died." Jason's sense of urgency ramped up as he wiped the sweat from his forehead as he could feel the heat of the sun on his skin. Jason had recalled a private conversation that he had with Adam who had informed him quietly that Clay had been the one to discover Brian's body as they had been unable to stop him especially after Clay had told Adam that he was not going to leave Brian behind as it was what Seals did – No man left behind – and that he had stayed with him until they had taken his body away and Adam had to force Clay to leave the field once that had happened. Jason never knew that he had returned to that fateful spot until now. He was not sure which part concerned him more, the fact that Clay had been back to the spot where Brian died before or the fact that he was obviously struggling with something or multiple things and he had not felt that he could come to any of them for help.

Full Metal completely understood where Jason was coming from and he knew that he would have made the same choice if he was in the same position with Clay especially as they all knew that he had not been well liked by those on Green Team with him simply because of his last name. He turned his attention to Derek who was circling as he continued to survey the landscape from high up on the roof but he knew he would have called out if he had spotted anything. "Alright, everyone spread out. Move fast but look intently. We don't have to be quiet so call out." Full Metal ordered knowing that Bravo would join his men in the formation to search the area.

Derek scanned the area for a second time wishing that he had thought to grab a pair of binoculars as he spun around on his feet again slowly as the feeling of dread rose in his stomach. The heat was already getting to him and Clay had been out in it for almost forty minutes which did not bode well as there certainly was not any place to rest in the shade. Derek heard Full Metal order everyone to spread out to search and was about to get down from the roof to join in when something caught his attention as he saw a shiny reflection in his peripheral vision. In his mind there was only thing that would cause a reflection like that and it was from the buckles that they had on their Kevlar vests. "Spenser?!" Derek yelled as he jumped off the roof and straight onto the ground, not bothering to brace his body for the impact, as he took off running towards the reflection in the distance. Derek ran as fast as he could not even caring to look behind him to see who was following him as he figured that both teams would be.

Derek's yell had halted all of the men in their movements and within seconds they were running after him through the knee high dry grass until he skidded hard to the ground on his knees as they finally saw what he had spotted and Clay came into sight.

"Clay, hey Spenser, need you to talk to me." Derek skidded down to the ground, undeterred by the dusty dirt that rose into the air around him as he did, and just managed to stop himself before he impacted with Clay's side seeing that his eyes were half lidded but he was not in a good way as he was looking up at the sky unfocused. "Come on Clay, talk to me." Derek leaned over him to provide as much shade as he could and hoped it would get his attention as he slid his hand into the space between his vest and his shirt hoping that would gain his attention as he did a loose version of a sternal rub.

"Let us in." Franklin tapped Derek on the shoulder who moved around so that he could settle at his side near his shoulder while Trent settled on the other side of Clay, both men with their medic kits already open. The rest of Alpha stepped back but remained close enough to provide assistance if needed while Jason moved to kneel at the top of Clay's head, Brock took a position behind Trent so that his shadow casted over them to provide what little amount of shade he could with Ray doing the same behind Franklin and Sonny knelt down next to Trent with his hand rested on his leg just above his knee.

Jason reached his hand out and patted Clay's flushed cheek lightly with his hand wanting and needing some sort of reaction for his own peace of mind. "Come on kid, talk to us." Jason murmured softly as he looked over Clay himself. "Trent, he's not sweating, his skin is dry." They all knew what that meant but he refused to believe it.

Trent and Franklin were already working on examining Clay. "I know, he is severely dehydrated." Trent did not need to check his vitals to know that Clay was dehydrated and severely so, and he suspected that Clay had been dehydrated before he had even started this run which is why he was so severely so. "Franklin?" Trent asked as Franklin was taking Clay's blood pressure and his temperature with an in ear thermometer at the same time.

"Blood pressure is really low but heart rate is really high. Temperature is at 103.1 degrees. Respiration rate is low too." Franklin was not telling Trent anything that he had not already guessed but it did not mean that his concern had lessened in fact it had only increased.

Jason knew that it was serious. "Come on kid, talk to me." Jason made sure to keep his voice soft as Clay finally managed to look up at him. "That's it sunshine." The fact that Clay was responding to his voice was of a small amount of relief but he was still to lethargic for his liking.

"Help us strip this gear off of him. We need to get him cooled down and hooked up to an I.V." Franklin stepped in just as concerned about the severity of Clay's dehydration as the rest of them were but Trent seemed to have stilled. With sure and steady hands Franklin made quick work of ridding Clay of his vest with Derek's help as Trent finally snapped out of his stillness, grabbed a pair of scissors and began cutting through his thick long sleeved shirt. The movement seemed to spur Clay to move as he tried to avoid their hands touching him but he had been left weakened.

"No, no… help Brian…" Clay tried to push away the hands that were touching him or rather holding him down as he squirmed relentlessly beneath them kicking up more dust.

"Clay, you are okay. We are just helping you. It's okay. You are okay." Jason spoke softly trying to calm Clay as he was alarmed by how he was calling out for Brian or for them to help him as he was unsure of which one. Derek moved in to pin Clay's shoulders as Sonny leant across both of his legs while Franklin and Trent both used their knees to hold his arms down as Franklin made quick work of finding a vein in his hand and getting an peripheral venous catheter in then he hooked up a bag of saline to help replenish Clay's fluids that he had lost and handed it to Full Metal who took it unceremoniously and held it up making sure to squeeze it every so often so that the fluids flowed into him quickly.

"Get the vehicles over here." Full Metal ordered knowing that two of his men would do as he ordered without him needing to order who would do it. It was best to get Clay out of the sun and back to base where he could be in the cool air and rest under their care.

"Try to get him to swallow some water." Trent held out his bottle of water for Jason to take wanting to at least try to get Clay to drink. Jason nodded and took the bottle from Trent but was stopped as Trent grabbed firmly onto his wrist halting his movements. "Small pours only, do not flood his mouth. He may not want to swallow or be able too." With those instructions Trent let go of Jason's wrist. Trent would have preferred to give Clay a bottle of Gatorade but he had not thought to grab any as Clay needed the electrolytes.

Jason moved himself around just enough so that he could help Clay drink more easily. He slipped his hand beneath Clay's head and lifted it up before he tipped a small amount of water against his lips hoping that he would open his mouth and lick the water from his dry lips. Clay groaned and tried to move his head out of Jason's hand but the cold water overrode that desire in his jumbled mind as he parted his lips slightly and poked his tongue out at the feel of the water against his lips. "That's it Clay, it's just water." Jason gave him another small pour which Clay lapped up immediately although more than half of it ran down the side of his face as it spilled from his lips as he tried to swallow with little success.

Full Metal heard the two vehicles come to a stop right beside them. "Do you want to take him to the infirmary or to your team room?" Full Metal knew that he and his men would not be moving far from Clay, especially Derek, and with that reasoning he asked his question because he knew between the two medics on the two teams they could take care of him even with the severity of his dehydration.

Trent and Franklin shared a look that spoke volumes. "Our room." Trent decided knowing they could handle it and he doubted any one of them wanted to be separated from Clay plus he knew that neither team needed an audience for the discussion that was still to take place between them in regards to how Bravo missed Clay's change of behaviour and how Alpha had picked up on it.

Franklin knew that they would be closely monitoring Clay for the time being but right now the priority was getting Clay out of the sun and the heat. "Let's load him up." Franklin ordered knowing that he was not leaving his patient even though Trent was more than capable of looking after Clay, Franklin knew that Derek was not quite ready to let go either even if it meant that he became the proxy. The men of Bravo all stepped forward and made quick work of getting Clay up onto his unsteady feet and into the closest vehicle. None of them missed how he closed his eyes as he stood up or the small groan that escaped his lips or how he swayed on his feet as the light-headedness overwhelmed him. As quickly as they made their way out to the field, they made their way back to the team room with Clay.

SEAL TEAM

Sonny cleared the large wooden table quickly before he jumped up on the top of it and reached out to take Clay as Jason and Brock lifted him up onto the table and into Sonny's arms. Sonny pulled Clay up so that he was upright and held him against his chest feeling the heat that was radiating off of his skin from the fever he had. Clay's head rolled to the side so that his ear was pressed against Sonny's chest right over his heartbeat. "It's okay blondie. You are okay. We will take care of you now." Sonny spoke softly as Trent tried to get Clay to take another sip of water but to no avail as Franklin ordered for someone to go and get a cupful of ice chips, some fresh towels and a bucket of tepid near cold water, as well as a few bottles of Gatorade while he sorted out the I.V. and managed to hook it up onto the light fixture above the table so that it hung taut and flowed freely.

"Sonny you might want to move out of the way, let him lay down on the table because we are going to douse him with water to cool him down." Trent suggested although he knew what Sonny's answer would be just by the way he was holding Clay. Trent was not even sure whether Sonny realised that he had his hand wrapped lightly around Clay's hand to stop him from weakly reaching out to pull at the cannula that was inserted in the back of his other hand, and that his thumb was lightly rubbing back and forth lightly over his knuckles.

Sonny shook his head rejecting the idea of letting go of Clay all because of a little water especially with the confused state he was in, and he figured that once they started to try and cool him down that he would become unsettled again and try to fight them by flailing which if they were not careful could end up with him hurting himself if they did not have a secure hold on him. Sonny took the doused flannel that Brock held out to him and gently wiped it over Clay's face which he did not like as he tried to squirm away from it but Sonny just tightened his arm around his waist so that he did not squirm so far to fall off of the table. "It's alright blondie. You're safe." Sonny repeated softly almost as if it was a mantra as he held out the flannel to be refreshed with more water before he wiped it over his face again, repeating it several times over, until two members of Alpha returned with the items that Franklin had requested.

Clay squirmed relentlessly using what little energy he had left to kick his legs out every so often as he tried weakly to get out of the hold that someone had him in as his vision was hazier than it had ever been while his head swam with every minute movement. "No… please no… you have to let me help him… can't be alone… no, no, no… stop, please, stop…" Clay mumbled squirming more and more and trying to pull himself away from whatever or whoever was holding him down.

Clay's murmurs were gut wrenching to every man on Bravo but Sonny was having a particularly hard time continuing to hold him down when he was trying to pull away. Sonny looked over at Jason and Ray pleading silently for them to help him soothe Clay as it become apparent that his words were not getting through to him.

Franklin stepped forward with Derek and Full Metal on either side of him as he knew that they needed to get Clay's body temperature down even with the change in conditions he was still suffering from heat exposure. He made sure not to put the bucket of tepid water on top of the table because he was sure that one or all of them would end up wearing it if Clay kicked out hard enough. "Sonny, hold him away from your chest for a few minutes. Keep a hand on the back of his neck though." Franklin motioned with his hands what exactly he was asking Sonny to do as he tossed a bottle of cool not cold water to Trent that he had refilled from the bucket to run it over Clay's hair along with a towel. "Derek, see if you can get him to let a few ice chips melt in his mouth. Metal, help me douse and then wrap these towels over him." Franklin continued taking charge and leaving the other half of Bravo to watch impatiently and remain idle. Sonny pushed Clay away from his chest and cradled his neck like a person would support a baby's neck when they are too young to hold it up themselves which Clay did not like although Sonny was unsure whether it was because he did not want to move or the way his neck was being held, either way Sonny felt shitty for upsetting him even more in his confused state.

Derek jumped up on the table with the cup of ice chips in his hand and sat down on his knees at Clay's side. "Spenser, we are just trying to help you bud. I am just going to give you an ice chip." Derek felt it was better to talk and at least try to get through to Clay rather than just shove an ice chip into his mouth with force and potentially get bitten. Derek waited a few seconds before he dropped one of the smaller chips into Clay's mouth between his slightly parted lips. Clay stilled entirely then licked at his lips as the icy cold goodness of the ice chip helped ease how dry his mouth felt. "Yeah, I bet that feels nice. We are just trying to get your temperature down buddy." Derek wasted no time in giving Clay a larger ice chip which he took easily before he nodded at Trent, Franklin and Metal to begin their part of the cooling down process which at this point could go either way.

Trent laid a folded towel down before he slowly poured the cool water over Clay's thick mop of blonde matted and sweaty curls making them darker as he carded his hands through to make sure the water reached his scalp as Clay had begun to move restlessly again especially once the first damp towel was laid over his bare chest as a makeshift cooling blanket as they could not get one from the infirmary on base without raising suspicions.

Clay jerked violently as Franklin took his temperature and the thermometer beeped sending a rush of pain through his skull, and a gush of water streamed down his face from his hair causing him to panic. "No… Ash… No… Please no… Drown… Hurt…" Clay mumbled frantically. "Wrong… I know… Erase not follow… Spenser disdain…" Clay continued to mumbled incessantly although not a lot of it made sense to anyone else as Sonny struggled to maintain his composure and hold him steady.

Sonny looked over at Jason, Ray and Brock who all looked as tormented as he did listening to Clay ramble on in his confused and dehydrated state. "Jase… I need…" Sonny swallowed thickly before he motioned with his free hand the words that he could not say, that he needed to swap out with someone for a wee while, and although he knew that Derek or Metal would take Clay to hold him, Sonny needed it to be someone from Bravo for Clay's sake as much as his own.

Ray stepped forward seeing that Jason was just as tormented as Sonny was at Clay's words; they were all affected by them but Jason had a paternal relationship with Clay even though he would never admit it while Sonny loved Clay and cared for him exactly how an older brother cared for his younger brother who had a decent age gap between them so there was no jealousy or sibling rivalry to contend with. "I've got him." Ray was not looking forward to having Clay's feverish body against his own in this heat but he also was not going to allow him to suffer alone although it appeared that Clay would not be settling down anytime soon. Sonny managed to slide off of the table and manage to keep a hold of Clay while Ray hopped up and settled himself onto the table with his back up against the wall so he was supported. Ray with Trent's help pulled Clay towards him, settling him in between his raised legs. Clay mumbled lowly but none of them could understand his words this time round as he tried to move away from Ray. Ray shifted again so that Clay's head was rested up against his knee then put his other leg up and over Clay's legs so that he was not pinned down but at least could not shift away. "It's just me Clay, you're okay." Ray hoped that if Clay knew who had him then it was ease his suffering or at least calm his murmuring down. Ray juggled Clay once more with his leg as Trent wet the flannel once more and handed it to him so that he could wipe his face just like Sonny had been doing.

Derek handed Ray the cup of ice chips then got off of the table as he was more than ready to have the conversation that needed to be had. Before he could round the table to follow after Sonny who had gone to stand by Jason and Brock although he had turned away so that his back was to Clay as he could not bare to watch Clay continue to suffer and squirm in distress, Full Metal and Franklin blocked his path making him stop.

"Keep your head brother. Calm and rational, remember that. None of us need any one of Bravo offside." Full Metal placed his hand on Derek's shoulder before he quietly reminded Derek that he needed to listen rather than accuse and yell knowing just how Bravo were which was much like his own team, and that they would not take kindly if it was alleged that they had failed one of their own.

Derek sighed knowing what his team leader was telling him but he was still worried and mad although he was thankful that they had found him as quickly as they had. He only wished that he had managed to stop Clay before he had disappeared out of sight. "I will." Derek did not promise because he could not be sure that he would not break it. Full Metal took a few extra seconds to make sure that Derek was calm before he let his hand drop down away from his shoulder and stepped to the side with Franklin who followed his lead, allowing him to pass.

Clay squeaked as his hip hit the back of Ray's boot as he squirmed and before Ray could catch him his head slipped off of his knee and down onto the table top with a thud that made him wince.

"Shit sunshine!" Jason crossed the room in a matter of seconds seeing that Ray was not having much luck at getting Clay to remain still in his feverish and dehydrated state. Ray was reaching for Clay to still him but Clay continued to move away from him so he relented and made no further effort to move towards him as he was not yet in danger of falling off of the table.

Clay was trying to roll over onto his stomach so that he could gain his knees but the tug of the intravenous cannula on his hand stilled him and he collapsed back down onto his back. Clay could not understand why he felt so sluggish and off balance as he tried to raise his hand to get rid of whatever was stopping him from moving, and he wanted to get rid of the painful and irritating tugging sensation at his skin. Before he could find his co-ordination enough to move his hand to his other hand to pull at the tugging sensation, his wrist was grabbed with a light hold making him stop all of his movements. Clay blinked a few times heavily as he tried to clear his vision as he felt lightheaded once more to see who was holding his wrist as the hand felt familiar but in his addled brain he could not figure whose it was.

Jason grabbed Clay's wrist as he could see that he was attempting to make a concerted effort to move his hand to pull the intravenous line out of his hand which he still desperately needed. Jason's other hand made its way to Clay's cheek and he gently eased his face towards him. "Take it easy Clay. You are going to be okay. You just caught your I.V line that is giving you fluids." Jason kept the details light as he reassured Clay that he was alright.

Clay could vaguely make out that it was Jason in front of him. "Boss?" Clay rasped out as he licked at his cracked and dry lips wanting to make sure he was right, and that Jason was not just a hallucination.

Jason blew out a short breath as he let his shoulders relax just a little bit seeing that Clay had stopped trying to get away from them and had recognised him. "That's right kid." Jason kept his voice soft as Franklin silently handed him a bottle of blue Gatorade with the pop top already open silently conveying that he had to try and get Clay to drink some of it before he swapped out the empty bag of fluids for a fresh one flawlessly.

Clay contorted his wrist unnaturally as he wrapped his own hand around Jason's wrist loosely. "Sorry boss, I'm sorry… Really sorry." Clay's words were clear as he apologised repeatedly to Jason.

Jason shared a look with Ray as he climbed off of the table as Jason truly had no idea why Clay was apologising to him in his first moments of clarity since they had found him. "There's nothing to be sorry for Clay."

"Spenser… I am… Screwed up… lots… Sorry… I'm sorry." Clay's explanation made no sense but it was clear to all of them that whatever was going on in his head was more seriousness than they had even thought, not that they had given it much thought.

Jason was at a loss for what to say but he also knew it was unfair to question the kid when he had no control of what he was saying but then again maybe it was the only way to get the insight into his mind that they clearly all needed. Ultimately, Jason decided to wait until Clay was lucid before they delved further into the kid's ramblings, and instead focus on getting him rehydrated. "I know you are and we can talk about that later but right now I need you to drink this. You will feel better soon once we get some more fluids into you." Jason hated to shut down Clay but he knew getting him rehydrated took precedent. Jason poured a small amount of the Gatorade against Clay's lips making him part them so he could have a little more. Clay only had three very small mouthfuls before he used the little strength that he had and turned his face away. Jason relented knowing it would do no good to push him although he would have if he did not have the intravenous fluids flowing into him.

Brock whistled softly and gave Cerberus the command to jump up on the table with Clay knowing his canine partner was desperate to be with him as he himself joined Jason at the edge of the table and at Clay's side. Cerb settled at Clay's side immediately putting his head down to rest on top of his chest with his nose nuzzling his chin.

Jason looked over at Brock and nodded at him as Brock wiped Clay's face with the freshly doused flannel making sure to wipe away the spilt Gatorade from his chin before it dried and became sticky. Clay gasped sharply which alarmed both men and made Cerb climb to his paws quickly. "Trent!" Jason bellowed alarmed at how Clay gasped and arched his back up off of the table before he slammed back down with a moan and lost his grip on Jason's wrist. Jason had not even thought of the possibility that Clay would be physically sore from all of the physical activity he had done in a few short hours but he had not stretched or cooled down properly either; Jason realised this a little late and knew there was nothing they could do to help now, at least not in the immediate time.

"Clay… tell me what is going on kid?" Trent appeared next to Jason and demanded Clay talk to him just as Franklin appeared back at the other side with Derek. Everyone else crowded round worried as they watched as Franklin worked on getting his vitals as he squirmed relentlessly. "Clay? Spenser?!" Trent tried to capture Clay's attention as he squirmed and shook his head from side to side murmuring as if he was looking for someone or something.

"Trent, maybe we should get him to the infirmary." Sonny hated suggesting taking one of his brothers to the infirmary and he hated suggesting it for Clay especially given how much time he had spent in and out of hospitals but from where he stood there did not look to be much improvement, if anything it seemed that Clay was becoming more and more incoherent.

"We are not taking him to the infirmary. They can't do anything that we can't." Trent spoke firmly, eerily calm despite the situation, although they all knew he was annoyed by the suggestion and the insinuation that he could not care for his brother although that was not at all what Sonny meant.

"Come on Trent, you know I am the first to keep blondie away from the infirmary after all the time he has spent there but look at him Trent. Look at him! That isn't better." Sonny knew he was pushing it as he waved his hands in Clay's direction as he could not stand to watch Clay suffer any longer. Clay tried to roll over onto his side towards Franklin and Derek but Jason and Brock reached out and stopped him from moving which he did not like at all.

"Don't like it then don't watch. We're not taking him. That's final." Trent did not like seeing Clay suffer any more than any of his brothers, and he was pissed that he had missed whatever made Clay get himself into the state he was in but he also knew that they were treating him the way any doctor would. Sure there may be a few more tests involved but Trent knew that Clay had been poked and prodded at enough in recent times and really did not need to be put through any more especially if they were not exactly necessary.

"Enough!" Franklin raised his voice to stop the men from bickering as he suspected all of the raised and tense voices were upsetting Clay more in his feverish and delirious state just as he finally finished getting Clay's latest vitals which were improving albeit slower than he liked. Every man turned to look at him surprised at the mild mannered medic's outburst, even Cerb stilled and cocked his head to the side. "Someone tell me the symptoms of dehydration." Franklin ordered as he reached out and placed his hand on Clay's shoulder to keep him from moving any closer to the edge as the last thing he needed was to fall off the table and onto the hard ground.

Full Metal looked at Franklin and wondered why he was asking but he also knew that he would not ask if he was not trying to make a point. "Tiredness, dry mouth, dry skin, dizziness, fever, confusion, low blood pressure, high to rapid heart rate, decreased or no urine output, headache…" Metal obliged his medic as he listed off all of the symptoms that came to mind.

"And that last symptom was what I was looking for." Franklin stopped Metal's listing of symptoms as soon as he said 'headache' before he turned his attention back to Clay who had stopped trying to roll himself over or pull at the cannula in the back of his hand. "Clay's confused, running a fever, and I would guess that he has a headache that is making his skull pound. If you have not noticed, he reacts to all of you Bravo, the more you raise your voices and the tenser you sound then the more he reacts as its only making his headache worse." He did not need to observe long to put the pieces together that Clay subconsciously was reacting to his brothers even if he was unaware of what exactly was going on. Franklin looked at each and every member of Bravo and Alpha, pinning them with his impressive glare that said 'I am about to order you to do something which you will not like but you will follow'. "Trent and Derek help me move him to his hammock once it is set up where we can keep an eye on him. Then we are all going to sit down calmly and rationally and talk it out like the adults we are. After that, barring any complications, Alpha is going to step out and let Bravo watch over Clay until we are sure he is no longer suffering from dehydration, or at least until he is well enough to go home." Franklin had no doubt that his orders would not be received well especially given that there were at least four men above him but he had never let rank interfere with a patient's treatment and he would not begin to now.

"I'll take him home." Derek snapped as he did not appreciate that Franklin was telling them what was going to be happening the way he was but he also recognised that he was doing what was best for Clay and he could not begrudge him for that. Derek wanted to make sure that Clay really was alright and that he was taking care of himself when he was at home so it served a double purpose.

Sonny glared at Derek for his snappy assertion that he would be the one taking Clay home. "What gives you the right to decide that you are taking him home?" Sonny asked with that calm deadly tone that meant he was really not happy and would not be letting it go as he crossed his arms over his chest clearly communicating that he would not be backing down.

"Well given…" Derek began only to be cut off.

"Enough!" Metal stopped Derek knowing that it was not helpful and that it would only cause Clay more angst.

"How is he doing?" Ray asked seeing that Brock and Metal had moved to get Clay's hammock set up where they could all still see him. Ray was surprised that the protests had not started but he knew that calm and rational might not last. It was not lost on Ray how strange it felt to not be asking Trent who had stepped aside to let Franklin take care of Clay who in usual circumstances would never happen unless he was physically unable too.

Franklin finished squeezing the bag of fluids after he had adjusted the flow wanting to get the rest of the bag in and another set up before Bravo and Alpha had their talk before he turned to Ray who was standing at the table's edge watching Clay closely. Ray's question had momentarily quelled the opposition as everyone waited with bated breath for the answer. "Temperature is down to 102.7. Blood pressure is coming up, not as fast as I would like but at least it is. Heart rate is down, again not where it should be but heading in the right direction." Franklin knew that the numbers would not matter to anyone except Trent which is why he did not include what Clay's blood pressure and heart rate was.

Jason turned and looked at the hammock that Brock and Metal had set up in record time before he turned back to Franklin as he was relieved to hear that Clay was improving although where his head was at and what was going on inside of it made him worry. "Why are we moving him?" Jason asked as he looked at Clay who now seemed to have calmed down, he was still restless but at least he was not trying to escape from them.

"Rather have him cocooned in a hammock then lying on the table where he could roll off and hurt himself while we all talk." Franklin stated seamlessly hoping that Clay would go to sleep as he was clearly fighting his tiredness just by his half lidded eyes that were fluttering closed more and more often before he forced them open again in search of something or someone. And if Clay was asleep then it meant he would also not react to what was sure to be a hard conversation where tempers would most likely flare and voices would be raised as everyone was already on edge. "Trent, Derek, give me a hand." Franklin knew that neither of them had moved.

Clay struggled as he tried to roll over this time back towards Jason who quickly reached out to stop him only for Clay to blindly reach for his arm again although his aim was off and his movements were sluggish and uncoordinated. "Boss?" Clay murmured as Jason moved his arm closer to his hand so that he could wrap his nimble and trembling fingers around his wrist just like he had been previously. Trent, Derek and Franklin all paused as they waited and watched.

"I'm here Clay." Jason answered wearily concerned that Clay was going to start rambling again but he clearly needed comforting and Jason was not going to deny him that, none of them would. "We are just going to move you so that you can get some sleep in your hammock." Jason explained as Clay seemed averse to being moved.

Clay craned his neck and managed to roll over onto his side although Trent stopped him from rolling over onto his stomach as he nearly went face first into the table as his sluggish movements made stopping himself nearly impossible. Clay forced his eyelids open so that he could see more clearly as they settled on the hazy figure that was Jason as he tightened his grip around his wrist unknowingly. "Why… pick… screwed up… worthiness… worthless…" Clay clicked his tongue in between each pause then licked at his lips annoyed at how confused he felt and that he could not articulate himself well enough. Clay bit down on his lip and looked to Jason for an answer which was enough of a distraction for Franklin to change out the second empty bag of fluids for a new one.

Jason frowned as he tried to fill in the blanks between Clay's words which were his jumbled thoughts but none of the substitutions made him feel any better as whatever had Clay riled up was seriously impacting him. Jason had no idea what to say and from a quick glance around the room at the rest of Bravo, neither did they.

Full Metal stepped in seeing the distress at Clay's disjointed words and gently shoved Jason to the side without breaking the hold Clay had on his wrist. Clay frowned and he tried to follow Jason with his eyes but he was exhausted and he felt really sick. "Clay… Bravo Six…" Metal had Clay's attention at the use of his call sign although it was strained and unfocused. "We are going to move you now to the hammock and you are going to go to sleep. You are not going to fight your exhaustion. Stand down Six." Metal used the firmest yet softest voice that he possessed to order Clay to stand down knowing that he was working himself up trying to communicate with Jason, or rather his thoughts to Jason. Clay took a few seconds before he finally relented and gave Metal a small nod then allowed himself to go limp as he did not have the energy to stand and walk yet. Metal nodded, and between him, Derek, Franklin, Trent and Jason who Clay still had a hold of, they managed to get him securely tucked into his hammock. Trent took the bag of fluids from where it was resting over Franklin's shoulder and quickly hung it up before he moved away with the rest of the men to the other side of the room with the exception of Jason and Cerb who had jumped off the table and followed before settling down beneath Clay in the hammock.

Jason knelt down next to the hammock once Clay was settled in and slowly worked his wrist free from his soft grip. Jason noted that Brock and Metal had set the hammock right up in the direct flow of the cold air from the air conditioning unit which would help to keep reducing his fever that he was suffering from. "Go to sleep sunshine. We'll stay close by." Jason spoke softly and it was almost reminiscent of how he would speak to Emma and Mikey when they were little and did not want to go to sleep. Clay gave Jason a feeble nod before he finally let his eyelids close and his body relax, not that he had the energy to do much else. Jason remained where he was for a few more minutes until he was sure that Clay was asleep as his breathing had slowed down and evened out before he made his way over to the group of assembled men noting silently how Bravo and Alpha were on opposite sides and not mingling as they usually would. Jason sighed knowing that the conversation that was about to take place would not be pleasant, and then he glanced back at Clay once more to make sure he was settled and asleep.

Derek saw the reprimanding and restraining glare that Full Metal sent his way but he chose to ignore him or rather pretend that he had not seen it. "How in the hell did you miss that?" Derek exploded with a sharp hiss as he jabbed his pointed finger out into the air towards Clay's sleeping form although he made sure he kept his voice low.

"Derek…" Ray began to speak calmly with his hands up and held out in front of him hoping to stop the situation for escalating.

"No Ray. I barely see Clay but even I realised that something is going on with him. I do not spend near the amount of time with him that you all do but I did not miss it. So please tell me how in the hell you missed that Clay was in distress? That you missed that there is something going on inside his head that is forcing him to push himself past that figurative red line that we all have? Tell me how you as his brothers missed it?" Derek blew out a breath in no mood for placations or excuses from anyone, not when Clay was as bad off as he was.

"Woah, well you hold on just a damn minute!" Sonny was riled up, already mad at himself for exactly what Derek was pointing out, which is why he felt so defensive. "You don't get to come in here and lecture us on blondie over there." They had been through more with Clay than anyone else could ever even begin to comprehend or even pretend to understand.

"I do when you failed him Quinn!" Derek growled, angry that Sonny was getting angry at him when he was only pointing out that they had failed Clay.

"Jesus Christ Derek!" Full Metal blew out a harsh breath as he pushed Derek back to keep him separated from Bravo's mighty Texan who looked ready to throttle him which Metal could understand. Metal turned to Jason as he stepped forward and directly in front of Ray who was facing Sonny trying unsuccessfully to corral him, or at least that was what he hoped was happening as he could not decipher what Ray was saying to Sonny due to how quietly he was talking.

Jason glanced over at Clay once more seeing that Cerb had risen to his feet and was now in a very protective and defensive posture beside him. He could hear Ray murmuring to Sonny that Clay would be upset if he hit Derek and got in trouble to which Sonny was repeatedly saying that he did not care and it would be worth it. Jason resisted the urge to pace because the tension in the room was palpable and easily combustible if he did not try to quell it just as Full Metal was with his team but he also realised that Derek was correct. Jason sighed knowing he needed to corral Sonny because as hard as Ray was trying it seemed to have no effect, and Trent and Brock were standing on either side looking angrier that he could recall seeing them in a long time. "Three, that's enough, stand down." Jason did not need to turn around for Sonny to heed his warning tone. "Derek's right." Jason raised his hand to silence his team before the vocal protests could begin but it did not mean that a few disgruntled grunts did not escape their mouths. "We missed it, it being the unknown right now, but either way we missed that the kid was in distress." Jason hated what he was saying but it was the truth, and he recognised their failure as a team. "We are all worried. For Christ's sake the kid went running outside in full gear while in the midst of a heatwave without taking any water with him. But we, his team, his brothers, will talk to him and make sure he knows he can come to us." He was not sure who he was talking to as he looked at Alpha but he hoped that cooler heads would prevail. He bought his hand up to the back of his neck and massaged it thinking of what to say next before his attention was commanded.

"Jase…" Brock's soft voice caught Jason's attention and made him turn to look at him but Brock was already moving towards Clay who had become restless again which had Cerb on edge as well clearly caught between the need to be on guard to protect and the need to go to Clay to try and settle him.

"I've got him." Trent reached out and squeezed Jason's shoulder for the briefest of seconds before he moved and followed after Brock.

Jason nodded before he looked at the members of Alpha who were all watching, ready to step in and help if needed. "We appreciate you looking out for him, all of you." Jason truly was glad that Clay had more people looking out for him than just those on Bravo, and he was especially glad of it today. A shudder went through Jason's spine as he realised that none of them had even known the kid was on base and that if Derek and the rest of Alpha had not known then Clay could have been out in the heat and the burning sun for hours, collapsed on the ground. If he had not have been found when he had then they might have lost the kid, and they had been through far too much with him to lose him because he was trying to run from whatever it was that was hurting him.

Full Metal looked at Jason and held out his hand which Jason took and they shook hands. "We appreciate it. We are almost as fond of the kid as you are." Metal smiled as he had seen just how paternal Jason was with Clay, and he knew that they always did everything they could to help.

Sonny scoffed much to Ray's chagrin as he cringed hoping that it did not enflame the situation again. "That's it? It's all our fault and we act like nothing happened? Like Derek did not overstep the boundaries?" Sonny was indignant as he glared at Derek who was being held back by his team mates. He was one that could hold grudges.

"How did I overstep Sonny? Was it because I called you out on your failings to look after Clay? Or was it because you don't like what is being said, because you can't handle hearing the truth?" Derek was not backing down but was stopped from saying any more when Full Metal turned around and slapped his hand over his mouth, and he knew Metal would not remove his hand even if he licked him.

"Sonny." Ray warned quietly, a silent order to shut the hell up. Sure none of them particularly liked having the riot act read to them by anyone including Alpha but Jason was right when he had acknowledged that they screwed up royally. And Alpha had been there for Clay when they had not even bothered to check in with him when they thought he had not turned up on base for the day. Ray also recognised that Sonny was feeling especially guilty which is why he was lashing out the way he was because Derek's blame was compounding the guilt he felt. "Go help Brock and Trent with Spenser." It was not a suggestion from Ray but an order although he was not sure that the energy that was coming off of Sonny would be any help to settling their youngest brother. Sonny shifted his glare from Derek to Ray and held it for a few seconds before he relented, stepped back then moved towards Clay.

Full Metal sent a look to Franklin that told him he had permission to gag Derek before he removed his hand from his mouth and turned back to Jason. "We're going to leave. We will be in our room if you need anything." He knew that Bravo needed to be on their own and to look after Clay on their own.

"I will still be taking him home." Derek managed to get out before Franklin managed to slap his hand over his mouth to shut him up. Derek did not like that Metal had said they would leave, and he especially did not like leaving when Clay was still in no condition to fend for himself.

Jason could see that Derek was still very unhappy about their treatment of Clay and would not be letting it go any time soon as he was determined to be the one taking him home. Jason suspected that there was something more to Derek's insistence but he could not place it as his attention was on Clay and not on working out what the ulterior motive was. "He's not going to be up and on his feet for a while yet. But as long as he is okay with it then okay." Jason knew that it was best that Clay did not drive in his condition and Derek did live just across the hall so it was feasible.

Full Metal could see that Jason was not completely content with the idea but he also was not going to argue about it. "Let's go Alpha." He ordered and waited until all of his men were moving before he nodded at Jason then followed after them.

Ray blew out a breath that he did not realise he had been holding in as soon as the door closed behind Alpha. "You really think Sonny is going to let Derek take Spenser home?" Ray asked Jason quietly somewhat astounded that he had agreed to it even if he had put the stipulation in that it was up to Clay to decide.

Jason turned around to his 2IC. "All I care about is making sure the kid is alright and that we figure out what is going on with him." It was a raw honesty that Ray had not expected from Jason who was usually the master of deflection when it came to his feelings.

Ray felt the same way but he knew that Jason already knew so he saw no point in saying it. "Then let's go check on him." He clapped Jason on his shoulder knowing they were all feeling the guilt that was of their own doing, and he knew the best way to relieve that was to make sure Clay recovered. Jason nodded and the two of them made their way towards the rest of Bravo.

SEAL TEAM

Brock knelt down next to Clay then reached out and gently took hold of his wrist to stop him from moving as it already looked like he had begun to dislodge the cannula that was in his hand given the small amount of blood that had bubbled and formed on top of his skin. "You're alright brother, it's okay." Brock kept his voice low as Clay was still asleep and he was unsure if he was having a nightmare or it was a combination of the fever and the dehydration making him restless. Cerb whined remaining stood where he was although Brock knew the hair missile well enough to know that he wanted to move closer to Clay. Brock used a silent hand signal that Cerb was well versed in and Cerb moved closer until he could press his cold nose against the skin just above Clay's exposed hip as he was still in his boxers.

Trent joined them a few seconds later and knelt down on the other side of Clay as he wordlessly reached out and pressed his fingers to his neck to check his pulse, relieved to find it steady albeit still faster than he liked or was normal. "I think you like testing me." Trent did not miss the smirk that Brock flashed before the worry settled back on his face.

"You always said you liked a challenge… Looks like he tugged his hand and pulled the tubing or dislodged it somehow, he's bleeding." Brock pointed out grateful that Clay had settled back down without waking up as he still held his wrist.

Trent carefully raised Clay's hand up just enough to examine it before he reached out with one hand and dug into his medical bag for a packet of gauze. "Yeah I did, just did not think he would push himself this far… It's just a small tear in the skin, the cannula is still in place and giving him the fluids he needs." Trent informed Brock as he opened the sterile packet of gauze and then placed the gauze over the tear to stop the bleeding before he taped it in place so that the blood did not transfer to anything else and to stem the flow.

Brock knew that Trent was worried, more so than he was letting on, and he knew because of the years they had been friends and brothers. "What's going on in that head of yours, brother?" Brock asked quietly so that only Trent could hear him, and if Clay had been awake then him too but more than likely he would have to answer that question too when he was up to it.

Trent shook his head as he took Clay's vitals again, not that he did not trust Franklin, but he wanted to monitor him more regularly. "Kid went running out in his full gear in the middle of a heatwave, and that was after two workouts already today. Clay is not stupid, he knows better than most that he needs to take care of himself yet here he is suffering severe dehydration and heat exposure… Brock… if we had not have found him when we did…" Trent stopped and blew out a breath as his throat felt thick.

"But we did find him. He is right here and he is going to be alright. He is already improving." Brock knew that what was bothering Trent was what was bothering them all. "Believe me brother when I say we will figure out what is going on with him." They needed to know not because they wanted to pry but because Clay needed to have his head in the game especially in their line of work – it was about self-preservation as much as it was about hating that their little brother was suffering in silence and felt that he had too.

"How is he Trent?" Sonny asked as soon as he reached them stopping and positioning himself at the end of the hammock by Clay's feet. The Texan reached out and cupped his hand loosely around Clay's ankle noticing just how hot his skin still was.

Trent looked over to Sonny and noticed that he had made a tangible link between Clay and himself but he decided that there was no need to mention it. Trent cast his eyes over Clay's form once more before he turned to Sonny. "No change from Franklin's last update. He jostled his cannula and made a small tear in his skin but nothing too bad. We may as well get settled in for a long few hours." Trent took a leaf out of Franklin's playbook deciding not to tell them the numbers of his blood pressure and heart rate but only of his temperature instead.

Sonny shoved a toothpick in between his teeth and chewed down on it still angry at the whole situation and at Derek. "Blondie and I are going to have a nice long chat once he is up for it." The Texan let his Texan twang loose knowing that he sounded bitter.

Brock sighed knowing that Sonny was taking Clay's suffering to heart but he also knew that any of them reaming Clay out would result in him shutting down more than he already had. "Take it easy on him Sonny. We need him to talk to us, one or all of us. We do not need him to shut down or close himself off more than he already has." Brock hoped that his words would be enough to quell the simmering Texan.

"Brock's right." Jason had caught Sonny's words and had paused behind him to listen with Ray stopped at his side before he stepped forward once Brock had finished trying to make him see sense and quell the lecture that was sure to be heard from miles away. "The kid felt like he could not talk to us and look where it got him and us. We need to fix that." Jason would do everything he could to help Clay because there was something about him that made him overly protective. Jason, like all of his men, was very aware of the realities that could happen if the team was fractured because one of those members did not trust the others; it was shocking because Clay had always been implicit with his trust in them and he was not sure how or when they had lost it. Jason swiped a hand over his face tiredly as the heat had zapped the energy from him like all of the men.

Ray could see the strain that Jason was putting on himself as he was taking on the burden and the blame solely, or at least attempting too. "And we will. Now let's grab our chairs and settle in." Ray did not want to move to far from Clay and he knew the others felt the exact same way, hell even their hair missile had his nose pressed to Clay's hip which meant he had to sit and contort himself to do so.

The men moved and settled down around their youngest brother. Jason sat next to Clay's head so that he would be the first one Clay saw when he next opened his eyes. Trent remained at his side so he could keep an eye on the I.V and be within reach to repeatedly check his vitals. Ray positioned his chair next to Trent's but made sure that he had enough room to work should he need it; it was the best choice where he could observe Jason and Sonny while also being an extra set of hands if Trent needed him too. Sonny remained at his feet with his hand loosely wrapped around his bare ankle. Brock remained next to Jason further down but pulled Cerb up into his lap so that Cerb could lie down comfortably and continue to press his nose against Clay's skin just above his hip. A tense but semi comfortable silence settled over the men as Clay continued to sleep, becoming restless on occasion but a quick reassuring touch or a few soft spoken words were enough to settle him again as his vitals slowly improved.

SEAL TEAM

Eric made his way through the halls of base in search of Bravo as they had been unusually quiet and near invisible which was disconcerting to him as it was out of the ordinary when they were on base as usually their presence was well and truly noticed when they were. Usually he could find them in the gym or the mess hall or at the range or in the briefing room but not today, and the only place left to look was their cages.

Eric walked into Bravo's room and stopped, unable to hide his surprise at the scene in front of him as it was definitely not what he expected to see as his jaw dropped. Eric took the scene in with his eyes before he frowned realising that Clay was connected to the intravenous drip that was administering fluids, although it was slightly unsurprising that the extreme heat had gotten to them as he was suffering just as much as the next person.

Jason did not even need to look up to know that it was Eric who had stepped into their room and stopped. "What do you need Eric?" Jason asked tiredly. It was enough to break Eric from his stupor and turn his attention to Jason as he closed the remaining distance between the men of Bravo and himself.

Eric looked at all of the men and decided that what he had wanted to talk to them about could wait as it was obvious that there was something more going on than Clay just having succumbed to the heat. "Nothing that cannot wait. What's going on here?" Eric tucked the file under his arm seeing how the men straightened up but made no further effort to move away as they usually would.

Jason glanced at Ray before he finally pulled his gaze away from Clay and looked over to Eric who had that familiar look of concern on his face. "Kid overdid it while working out. Trent's got him on some fluids as he dehydrated faster than he realised in this heat." Jason kept it light on the details as there were some things that Eric did not need to know and they were all the things that they had yet to find out like what the hell was going on in Clay's head.

Eric knew that he was not getting the whole truth but he also knew that Jason would not risk any of his men and their health so that either meant that Jason was still gathering the facts or he had it handled and felt that he did not need to know; either way Eric did not like being left out of whatever was going on but he also understood that it was Jason's way of protecting his men. "Alright, when he's awake make sure you give him a reminder about how important it is to stay hydrated especially in the middle of a heatwave so we don't have a repeat performance." Eric played along following Jason's lead.

"Trust me, we all will be making sure this does not happen again." Jason's tone made Eric look at him questioningly but he knew that he was effectively being shut out. Eric also suspected that his words were directed at the four other members of Bravo more than at him.

"Do you need anything? Can I get some food or supplies bought in?" Eric moved from figuring out the underlying reason as to why five of Bravo's men were so tense and instead turned his attention to making sure they had everything they needed as they looked settled in for the long haul.

Jason looked at Trent who shook his head at his silent question of whether he needed more medical supplies before he turned back to Eric. "We have what we need." The only thing they needed was for Clay to wake up, be lucid and feeling well enough to talk to them which was most definitely something that Eric did not need to be a part of.

Eric knew well enough that Jason's tone meant that he was not invited to stay any longer. "Keep me updated." With those final words Eric glanced over at the men one more time then took his leave, leaving the men of Bravo where they were watching Clay as he slept, even though he highly suspected that he would receive no update other than that Clay was better, resting at home, and had been reminded about the importance of staying hydrated.

SEAL TEAM

Clay groaned as he became aware of his surroundings as he woke. He poked his tongue out and ran it over his dry and chapped lips before he tried to roll over but the sudden realisation that he was in his hammock made him pause as he had no idea how the hell he had ended up there.

"Take it easy brother." Ray kept his voice soft as he was the first one to speak although Clay's groan had caught all of their attention even Cerb's who had pulled his nose back from where it was resting on Clay's skin. Ray had reached out and placed his hand on Clay's wrist so that he did not knock the cannula in his hand in an effort to ground him.

Another deep almost painful sounding groan escaped Clay's parted lips before he finally forced his eyelids to open to see that his entire team were surrounding him. Clay licked his lips again. "What happened?" Clay cringed at the hoarseness of his voice as he tried to figure out how the hell he got into his hammock as he raised his hand that wasn't restricted by Ray's hold up to his chest to scratch at his collarbone and it was that movement that made him realise that he had been stripped down to his boxers. "What the hell?" The dryness in his throat made him cough which sent vibrations through his sore and tired body, and he felt the dull ache of a lingering headache.

"Take it easy kid. Drink this first while Trent examines you then we will talk." Jason held out a fresh bottle of blue Gatorade for Clay to take knowing that he needed to maintain his fluids orally just as much as intravenously and Ray let go of his wrist now that he was awake and talking.

Clay craned his neck to look at Jason as he felt thoroughly confused but as soon as he saw the look on Jason's face he knew that no one would explain anything until he did as Jason said so with that realisation Clay raised himself up on his elbow and then took the open bottle and began to drink it relishing the way it took care of the dryness of his mouth and throat.

Trent worked diligently grateful that Jason had made his examination a priority but he also suspected Jason wanted to make sure that Clay was up to it. Trent was relieved to see that Clay's temperature had dropped right down and was almost back to normal, sitting at 97.8, his blood pressure was still a little low but not as bad as it had been, and his heart rate was back to its usual resting rate. Trent looked over to Jason once Clay was half way through the bottle of Gatorade and nodded. "He's lucky. I'd like to have one more bag of fluids go into him but his temperature is right down, 97.8, and his heart rate is back to normal. Blood pressure is still a little low and will probably drop even more once we get him up but it is righting itself." Trent addressed Jason but he knew the rest of the team were paying attention while Clay had stopped drinking and had his eyebrows knitted in confusion as he looked at Trent.

Clay had had enough of not being told what had happened or why he was in his boxers and in his hammock or why he was hooked up to an intravenous drip and Trent was talking about his temperature, heart rate and blood pressure. "Would someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Clay wanted to be mad but he could see the worry that his brothers were trying to hide but were failing miserably at doing.

Sonny blew out a breath before he looked over at Jason who looked like he was not sure how exactly to approach Clay. Sonny remained quiet because he did not trust himself not to lose it at Clay just yet for risking his health and for not talking to them. Jason could see that Clay's patience was wavering especially now that he had finished the bottle of Gatorade and because no one was answering him but he was trying to figure out what to say without Clay having a meltdown.

"What's the last thing you can recall?" Trent asked as his question served a double purpose as it gave Jason and the rest of the men a reprieve as they tried to figure out the best approach to talk to Clay with which they should have worked out before he woke, and it also would help Trent create a timeline to when approximately Clay began to feel the effects of his dehydration.

Clay turned his attention towards Trent annoyed that no one would answer his question and instead used it as an opportunity to ask him what he recalled. With quicker movements than any of them anticipated Clay sat up then reached out and pulled the cannula from his hand intent to get out of the hammock and to his cage to get his clothes back on, and then hopefully he could go home.

"Clay… Spenser, stop." Jason reached out to grab Clay's elbow to stop him as he tried to escape his hammock. Clay paused at Jason's orders as the change in position made him feel lightheaded once his feet were on the cool floor but he was not about to say anything about it. Clay glared at Jason and Jason immediately was on guard as he had never seen the look in Clay's eyes before but he did not let go of his elbow instead he tightened his grip. "Just slow down." Jason changed the tone of his voice in the hopes that Clay would relax a bit and let them help him.

Clay huffed as he dropped his gaze from Jason and looked down at his bleeding and bruised hand. "What'd I do?" Clay asked so softly that if it had not been for his proximity to them then they would not have heard his words. Jason loosened his grip and after a few seconds he let his hand drop back to his own thigh as his nervous tick began to re-emerge. The change in him was concerning as he went from annoyed and defensive to resigned and almost scared which was not something that they saw in him too often.

Brock leaned forward which was not easy to do with Cerb curled up on his lap then ducked his head so that he could see Clay's face and he noticed he had paled considerably now that he was sitting upright which was expected. Brock also suspected that he felt lightheaded just by the way he was controlling his breathing but knew that Clay would prefer it not be mentioned. "Spense, hey, we are just worried. You exercised a bit too much and in this heat you became severely dehydrated and were suffering from heat exposure. You collapsed in the field that is used to land during parachute trainings." Brock kept his voice soft as he answered Clay's original question of what happened to him, and he did not miss the way Clay's breath hitched or the way his body blanched at the mention of the field. There were some things that a person would never forget and for Clay that was clearly one of them.

Clay swallowed a few times thickly, struggling to keep his emotions in check even though the last thing he wanted was to appear weak in front of his brothers. Clay did not want to answer the inevitable questions so the next best tactic he had to use was to avoid the also inevitable conversation that he figured they would want to have. "I want to get dressed and go home." Clay made sure that he could speak without his voice cracking, and he was relieved when he was able to get the words out without having to pause.

Even though Clay had his back to Ray he could see the way he had hunched his shoulders and knew that they were all on a precarious edge as Clay had already shut down on them. Ray reached out and placed his hand on Sonny's shoulder seeing the struggle he was having to remain quiet as it was obvious that he was still worked up and feeling guilt, and he knew that Sonny did not want to yell at Clay. Ray could also understand why Clay wanted to get dressed which surely could not be denied although he could already see Trent gearing up to shut him down on the idea of going home especially now that the intravenous cannula was no longer administering fluids to him. "Clay…" Ray used the voice he used with his brothers when he knew they were hurting but did not know why then waited for him to indicate that he was listening.

Clay heard Ray, he did, but he also knew that tone of voice. It was the voice Ray used when he expected them to spill all of their deepest darkest secrets, and Clay did not want to do that. "No." Clay replied defiantly not even giving Ray a chance to say anything else. Now that his arm was free from Jason's grip and he had stated his intentions, Clay stood up trying not to wobble as the light-headedness assaulted him even more, and before anyone could reach out to grab him and force him back down into the hammock he stepped away heading for his cage knowing he kept several sets of spare clothes inside of it.

Jason shook his head at Ray, Trent, Brock and Sonny keeping them in their seats although they all wanted to reach out and help steady Clay. The defiance was not what they expected to encounter but then again Clay's range of emotions had caught them all off guard. If Clay wanted to get dressed then Jason would allow him too but he would not be leaving to go home until Trent had cleared him too, and Jason suspected that they would have a fight on their hands with that decision.

Clay wiped the blood from his hand with a towel then dressed as quickly as he could once he found the shorts and t-shirt that he wanted knowing that they were light against his skin so that he would not overheat again although the energy that it took to get dressed left him exhausted and he had yet to put his shoes on. Maybe bare feet would be the way to go although he was not sure how great the boiling hot tarmac would feel on the soles of his feet but then again he did not care if it meant getting home.

Sonny was watching Clay closely and he did not miss when he reached out and curled his fingers around the thin metal square of the divider to steady himself once he was dressed. "Get back over here blondie." Sonny knew enough was enough, and he sure had had enough. Sonny used his hand to motion for Clay to come over to him.

"I'm going home Sonny." Clay was tired, tired of everything, and he really did not have the energy to deal with his brother's overprotective natures. He just did not have it inside of him to deal with any of it at the moment, and he did not want to have to try and explain himself. He knew that he was not up to driving but he also knew that someone on base would give him a ride home or he could call a cab if that was the only other option.

Sonny bit down hard enough on his toothpick to snap it between his teeth. "Clay…" Sonny could have sworn he sounded like his own father when he reprimanded him as a little boy which made him want to cringe as Sonny Quinn did not do paternal discipline. "It is not up for discussion. Get back over here." Sonny really was going to shoot himself if he continued with that paternal sounding reprimanding voice that he had just discovered.

"Why Sonny? Why can't I just go home?" The hoarseness had not cleared from Clay's voice which he was quickly growing to despise. It was all he wanted which was to be home and alone, not to be stood up and be reprimanded like a naughty child.

Sonny was frustrated, growing more and more so by the minute, and he looked to his brothers for help in making Clay see sense or to at least talk to them.

Jason knew what he had to do and he knew it was a risk but it was one that he had to take. "We need you to talk to us Clay, tell us what is going on inside of that head of yours." Seals were not known for sharing their feelings all that willingly but they had to do something because this could not continue.

"There is nothing to say." Clay replied immediately once again defiantly as his voice was firm but his body language and his earlier actions told them otherwise. He lent his head back against the wall of his cage silently thinking how he could get out of the room without his brothers coming after him or being forced to talk.

Jason was sure he would hate himself by the time this conversation was finished, and that later in the night he would be drowning his sorrows with a bottle of whisky or bourbon, he was not about to be picky. "There is and you know there is. You owe us an explanation about why we found you where we did and in the state that you were in." Jason knew that sometimes the only way to get the kid to talk was to make him angry enough that he forgot to filter himself, or take a page out of the Sonny Quinn playbook and get him drunk but given that he was recovering from being severely dehydrated and from heat exposure, the latter option was off the table. However Jason found an internal war brewing inside of him even as he spoke and saw Clay's defensiveness set in, the war between his position as Master Chief and the paternal instincts that came so naturally from him towards Clay.

Clay swallowed thickly a couple of times and looked away from his brothers and towards the door but he could not bring himself to move towards it, to make the break that he so desperately wanted to make. Clay did not want to talk because there were so many things swirling around in his head that he had no idea how to form the words or even where to begin with them; there had been so much that had happened in the past few days that had only made his head spin.

Jason rose to his feet and moved cautiously towards Clay much like a person would move towards an injured and skittish animal that they were trying to help. "Clay, look at me please." Jason spoke softly as Clay looked to be retreating into his head which was the last thing that he needed to do. Up close Jason realised that Clay's entire body was physically trembling minutely but he was not sure if it was entirely from the strain his body was under or if there was something else making him do so. "Come on Clay. We are all here brother, let us help." The way Clay turned his head and looked at him would be a look that would haunt Jason for a while as Clay's usually bright blue eyes were dull and begging and stormy.

Clay knew he was messed up, knew that he had screwed up by coming on to the base to work out, and wasn't that just another thing to berate himself over once he was alone and away from the prying and concerned eyes of his team. "You can't help me, no one can." The words slipped from his lips before he could stop them and he hoped he said them quietly enough that Jason had not heard them but one look at his face told him he had heard them.

Jason was rendered utterly speechless by those four words from Clay who as soon as he said them looked back over to the door to avoid making eye contact with him or any of the men who were still seated behind him watching closely. "Clay…" Jason said with a gush of air as he felt like he had forgotten to exhale as he finally regained his wits about him. It was only seconds later that he reached out and pulled Clay into his chest, tucking his mop of blonde curls underneath his chin as he wrapped his arms around him as tightly as he dared feeling how Clay tensed before the tension finally bleed from him and he relaxed into the hold. Jason was not the type of guy who hugged his men too often but this time was called for. "We can help you Clay, you just have to talk to us. Nothing you say is going to change anything, I promise you that." Jason spoke softly as Ray, Trent, Brock, Sonny and even Cerb joined them, each coming over and reaching out to place their hand and paw on Clay so that he knew he was not alone.

Ray looked at Jason who was doing his best to hide his panic at whatever it was that Clay had said that resulted in him holding him tighter than a child with their favourite toy at bedtime. Ray saw Jason look at him just seconds before he managed to school his facial features to hide the panic he felt but he could still see it in his eyes that he was as lost as the rest of them felt. "Clay, whatever it is that is going on, we will help however we can but you cannot keep going on like this brother." Ray kept his voice soft hoping that it would help draw the words out from Clay although he was not even sure if Clay was listening.

"Come on goldilocks, we only want to help." Sonny's Texan drawl was on full display as he softened seeing the way Jason was holding Clay and how Clay had twisted one of his hands into the back of his shirt almost clinging to him. Sonny rubbed his thumb over the back of Clay's neck lightly as he had placed his hand at the base of his skull hoping to relax the kid enough to make him feel safe.

Trent was already on edge at the strain that had been placed on Clay's body with the dehydration and heat exposure but now he was teetering off the edge as he had not taken into account that emotional and mental strain that Clay was clearly dealing with and how crippling that could be on him physically. Trent was about to speak but stopped at the sight of blood from Clay's hand dripping down and creating a small pool on the floor beneath where his hand was dangling as the way he had clenched and unclenched his hand had caused the tear that he had created in the delicate skin to open further.

"We know you would do the same for any of us brother, and I sure as hell know you would not take no for an answer either. Even if we cannot relate Spense, we can still listen and that can help a lot. Even if you are not sure what to say then try and we will wait and listen. You do not have to tell us every tiny detail. We will stay with you and I know Cerb will cuddle you." Brock hoped to get through to Clay knowing that Clay would always listen when any of them needed to talk or be a solid figure of silent support if they had no idea what to say. Brock was not above using Cerb to get Clay to open up as it was most definitely not an imposition for Cerb who was already sat next to Clay with his paw raised up and rested on his lower leg.

Jason felt Clay shudder against him and he swore it had to be painful but he nodded to the rest of the team who looked on anxiously silently conveying that Clay was settling and that he was listening. "We know the significance of that field Clay, of where we found you. And we know you miss Brian." Jason's mind flashed to Nate but he quickly shut that memory down because he needed to focus on Clay who was trembling even more in his arms.

Clay sucked in a sharp breath at Jason's words, at the mere mention of Brian's name from his Master Chief, and he willed his body to stop its trembling. He wanted to let go of Jason, to pull himself out of his grasp and that of his brothers but he could not bring himself too. Shame was sinking in because he had inadvertently let himself be vulnerable. "I didn't mean too." Clay would have groaned at the way the words slipped out if he had the energy too because once again the words have fallen from his lips without him being able to stop them, the only saving grace was that they were muffled.

"What didn't you mean Spense?" Brock asked deciding it really was not the easiest way to have a conversation having picked up on his comment, only just being able to make out the words. There were a whole hell of a lot of scenarios that it could be related too, and none of the ideas that came to Brock's mind were good which made his worry climb even higher.

Clay was tired and he really did not want to have to face his brothers but he knew they were right so he steeled himself before he let go of the grip he had on the fabric of Jason's shirt then pushed himself back from Jason who slowly and almost reluctantly let go of him. Clay raised his shaky hand to his hair and pushed his longish locks back off his forehead although he could not bring himself to look up at his brothers. Clay did not even realise how unsteady he was on his feet, that he was swaying, until Sonny reached out and gently wrapped his hand around his elbow so that he did not fall over.

"Come on blondie, let's get you sitting up on the table." Sonny gently guided Clay back over to the table and without prompting he lifted himself up on to the table. Sonny took a seat on one side of Clay and Jason sat on the other side while Ray, Brock and Trent stood in a semi-circle in front of them although they all made sure to give Clay some space so that he did not feel trapped. Sonny was sure that all of his brothers felt the way he did, lost and unsure.

Trent had stopped and pulled out a fresh piece of gauze wanting to apply it to Clay's hand in an effort to stem the steady flow of blood. Trent stepped forward, noting that Clay had not looked up at any of them instead his focus was on his knees, but did not want to startle him. "Clay, I want to apply some gauze to stop your hand bleeding." Trent kept his voice soft although it seemed that they had lost Clay as he was in his head.

Jason had not noticed that Clay was bleeding again until Trent had pointed it out and without even thinking about it he glanced over to where they had been stood and saw the small puddle that had formed on the floor before he returned his focus to Clay who had not moved or spoken. "Give it here Trent, I've got it." Jason held out his hand for the packet of gauze seeing the Trent was reluctant to startle Clay which they all understood as none of them wanted to either. Trent handed the packet over to Jason who promptly tore it open and pulled out the gauze then applied it to Clay's hand with a light amount of pressure although he made no acknowledgement of it.

Brock stepped forward and ducked his head once more after he had put Cerb on his leash and handed the leash over to Ray to hold. "What didn't you mean Spense?" Brock repeated his earlier question hoping to prompt Clay to talk again although not a lot of what he was saying had yet to make sense or fill in the blanks that they had and there were a lot of missing pieces. They, as a team, also had to be careful not to try and answer or fill in the blanks for Clay.

Clay bit down on the inside of his cheek hard enough that he drew blood as the metallic taste filled his mouth. "To end up there." Clay finally answered Brock as he closed his eyes as the memory of watching Brian plummet to the ground, to his death, played vividly in his head.

"To end up in the field where Brian died?" Brock asked for Clay to clarify as he felt that there was more that was not being said. None of the members of Bravo knew Brian, sure they had seen him around base and always with Clay but that was where their interaction ended, but they were well aware of how close the two men were and how hard Clay took Brian's death as they could all recall seeing how numb he looked in the mess tent in the immediate aftermath of Brian's accidental death. Although Adam had filled them in a little bit when he had spoken to them about how Clay would fit with Bravo, even going as far to say that now that Brian was dead that Clay needed a team, a family. At the time it did not make a lot of sense to any of them but as they got to know Clay it became evident as to why Adam was of that belief and why he pushed so hard for Clay to be picked and assigned to Bravo. Clay gave a single nod before he shrugged one shoulder in a haphazard fashion which left them all confused but then again Clay seemed more confused than any of them.

Ray was watching closely, or rather watching how Clay reacted. The kid looked so unsure of himself, and Ray wondered if continuing to question him was really a good idea when he looked like he had no idea of anything other than that he wanted to go home. Brock took Cerb's leash back from Ray as he stepped back. Ray looked around at the team and knew they all wanted answers just as much as he did but maybe pushing Clay on the harder topics first was not the right way to go about it. "Can you tell us why you are working out so much? Pushing your body so much?" Ray decided that simpler was better, after all that was the thing that was part of the chain reaction that had gained their attention and the attention of Alpha. Ray did not miss the frown that was sent his way from Sonny as he clearly did not understand why he was not pushing Clay on the topic of Brian although Trent looked pleased at the question.

Clay glanced up at Ray for a few seconds before he looked back down at his knees as he thought about how to answer the question or questions that Ray had posed to him. "Helps to clear my head, and I need to get better, stronger… can't be weak… not like him…" Clay shook his head before a frustrated groan slipped out of him, once again he had been unable to filter his words. Right about now he really wished to be anywhere else.

The shared glances between his brothers all had the same look of confusion as Clay was the epitome of being fit and healthy, of being strong, and then at who the mysterious 'him' that had been mentioned although they already had one suspect in their sights. Although they all understood how exercising could help to clear the mind because they had all used it to do just that. They also knew that Clay still had lingering doubts about his return to operating after his horrific injury but they also knew that he would not have been cleared to operate if he was not physically and mentally ready. The kid had made it through so many hurdles yet every time he cleared them then more would appear; it was unfair. The world seemed intent on kicking Clay Spenser when he was down repeatedly, and that did not sit right with any of them.

"Who is 'him' Clay?" Sonny asked knowing there was so much to address just from the few words but that was where he chose to start because he wanted to be sure about whose ass he would be tracking down to kick although he already had a strong suspicion because there was only one person that could cause the kid so much pain and it was the one person that was better to be completely out of his life.

Clay pulled his hand out of Jason's grip and slid off the table to his feet although he did not try to walk away instead he lent back against the edge of it. "Who is it always? Why the hell do I let him mess with my head? He knows exactly what he does and I let him, I always let him." Clay went from docile to angry at himself within seconds, and angry at Ash who always seemed to know just what to say to get under his skin, how to play with him and make him doubt himself then to resigned to the fact that Ash would always mess him up. Clay had just confirmed their suspicion even without naming Ash as the culprit.

Jason could see that Sonny was ready to go and find Ash Spenser and introduce him to his fists although he felt the same way he knew they had made a breakthrough and needed to continue pushing Clay rather than focus on their anger for Ash. "What happened?" Jason figured that Clay needed to talk about it, not to keep it bottled up and let it fester as he had already tried that and look how well that had turned out, not well at all.

Clay turned to look at Jason making eye contact and holding it. "Ash did what he always does. God forbid anyone beats him, is better than him. Master manipulator that he is, he knows exactly what to say. I know I am not where I was before that goddamn bomb blew up on me, I know that my body is not there yet, not back, hell I am reminded every goddamn time I look at the scars on my thigh of what was taken away from me, what I still have yet to get back, and what I will never get back. I am well aware every single day. I am well aware every single time I feel an ounce of pain. And he had to use it against me, just like every other thing." The words flowed like a tsunami crashing along and taking out everything in its path, and it was exhausting on his already overtaxed body. "I feel terrible." That soft admission was not surprising to any of them. Truth was Clay had not felt like himself in a long time but then again maybe his identity was so wrapped up in trying to be better than his father that he did not know his true self.

"What exactly did he say Clay?" Ray asked seeing that Sonny, Trent and Jason were incapable of speaking as they were all trying to control themselves. Ray did not know if knowing would be worse or better but whatever that Ash had said Clay clearly believed and that hurt. Ray, as a father, could not imagine causing his children so much inner turmoil like Ash had done for Clay. Clay shook his head from side to side before he stopped as his headache was making itself known.

Brock noticed that Clay was beginning to squint which was a sure sign that he had a headache and that the pain was increasing. He stepped away and grabbed another bottle of Gatorade suspecting that the dehydration that he was still suffering from was the reason for at least part of his headache. "Drink this Spense." Brock handed the bottle to Clay once he had uncapped it.

"Thanks." Clay took a few sips before he let himself slide down to the ground, less steady than he would have liked but he did not have the energy to stand any longer, and he was sorer than he cared to admit. Clay bought his knees up to his chest before he continued to slowly drink his way through the blue liquid as he closed his eyes and rested his head to the side against the side of Sonny's leg. Clay made it half way through the bottle before he handed it back to Brock who took it and put the cap back on it then handed it off to Trent. Clay knew that Ray was still waiting for an answer to his question. "That I should have been medically retired because it only made me weaker as I was already the weak link of the team. That I should have been the one… not Brian... That it was not fair for me to be here and do this." There was absolutely no emotion in Clay's voice as he shared only a small part of what had been said between him and Ash or rather yelled but it was enough as he hated recalling it.

Ray knelt down in front of Clay in disbelief at how a father could be so spiteful but Ash was not his concern or his priority. Ray could see that Clay was mentally berating himself for telling them, for sharing what was on his mind, but Ray also suspected that Ash was not the only reason for what was going on inside of Clay's head. "Do you know what I see when I look at you Clay?" Ray hoped that his question would have the desired effect. Clay shook his head but made no effort to speak. "I see a survivor. I see someone who strives to be the best he can in every single way – man, brother, Seal, friend, partner, uncle. I see your strength and I admire it because I only know a small amount of what you have had to endure and overcome, and you do it each and every time with the most incredible amount of graciousness and poise. I see the good in you Clay. I see someone who keeps getting back up every single time despite how hard it is. I see someone that wants to learn and grow. I see you brother." Ray spoke with the upmost respect as he meant every single word, and he hoped that Clay believed him. Ray reached his hand out and rested it over Clay's knee.

Brock knelt down next to Ray and placed his hand on Ray's shoulder in a silent show of support as Cerb settled at his side due to the tight hold Brock had on his leash. "Those scars on your leg brother are not a weakness but a visual representation of your strength, of your survival and your return, of you beating the odds. It is part of your story, a small part, but it does not define you Clay." He had always suspected that the physical reminder of the horrific injury that Clay had suffered bothered him more than he had ever admitted before. They all had scars, and they all represented different things, but scars meant that were alive.

Jason slid down off of the table knowing Sonny would not move if it meant that Clay remained where he was with his head rested comfortably against his leg but he also knew Sonny wanted to be down on the floor next to him. "Come here kid." Jason softly reached his hand out and moved Clay's head so that it was resting on his own shoulder so that Sonny could join them down on the floor as that was where Clay ended up. "I want you to listen to what I am about to say and I mean really listen to me. I am not saying this as Bravo One Clay, there is no rank between any of us right now." Jason wanted Clay to understand that he was not saying what he was about to out of some sense of obligation because of his rank or position as he waited for Sonny to settle down next to the kid and after Trent settled down next to Brock who had tossed another fresh packet of gauze over to him which he caught and sat on his lap as Clay's hand was still bleeding. "It is okay to feel whatever you need to feel. It is okay to have good days and bad ones. We do not know how much you went through because we could not be with you when you were recovering despite how desperately we wanted to be but we made sure to stay updated as much as we could and we never, not once, forgot about you. What I know, what we know, is that you came back when you were ready, not because you felt you had too but because you wanted to come back. What I know is that getting to where you are was not easy, it is still not easy, and there are going to be times when you are sore and hurt, and while we might not be able to help take the pain away, we will do what we can to distract you or commiserate with you, whatever you want kid. What you need to remember though is that you can always come to us, one or all of us, for anything no matter the time or place. If you need us and we are not with you then we are just a call or a text away, and we will be there." The speech did nothing to quell the anxiety that was coursing through Jason's veins, nor the anger that was firmly directed at Ash Spenser but he managed to quell that part for now.

Clay raised his hand and rubbed at his eyes but made no effort to move as he felt overwhelmed. "I know… I just… I didn't know what to say… Father's aren't supposed to…" He trailed off not knowing how else to explain all that had him messed up.

Ray knew that Jason was struggling to hold it together and he could see the flash of anger at Clay's last words before he cut himself off. "You are right Clay, fathers are not supposed to say anything like that to their children ever." Ray was in total agreeance with Clay on Ash's failings as a parent. "And we know you are not him Clay." It felt important to remind Clay of that fact because he could not imagine the pressure that he faced, and he knew that despite Clay's own reputation that Ash's still rained all over him. Nothing good came from Ash Spenser ever with one exception, Clay Spenser.

Sonny could have sworn he felt a crack appear in his heart at learning that Ash had told Clay he was better off dead, that it should have been Clay killed instead of Brian, and that he was weak. Sonny wanted to shake Clay for listening to Ash and for believing him but the larger part of him wanted to hug the kid and not let him out of his sight for a yet to be decided length of time. "Is that why you went out to where Brian died? Is that why you laid down there in the field?" Sonny had to know and he hoped the answer would not be anywhere near the dark place his mind had gone.

"No! God, no Sonny! I wouldn't, not that, no… not after… no!" Clay raised his head sharply as he realised what Sonny was asking before another round of being lightheaded assaulted him and threw off his equilibrium. Clay lowered his head back down to rest on Jason's shoulder as he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths just as the memory of Swanny's death appeared in his mind.

Trent could see how tense they had all become especially when it seemed like Clay was about to pass out. "Give him a few seconds; his blood pressure will have dropped with the fast movement… Just breathe Clay and finish off this." Trent held out the half drunken bottle of Gatorade that Clay had earlier which Clay reached his hand out blindly to take. Clay obeyed silently as he began to sip the bright blue liquid again although he had yet to open his eyes.

Sonny blew out a soft breath in relief as he waited for Clay to finish the bottle off or to have had enough, whichever came first. "Then what made you go out there, to that exact spot?" Sonny knew he might be crossing a line but he had to know as there was something deeply unsettling about it to him.

Clay swallowed the last small sip down before he finally opened his eyes and craned his neck so that he could look at Sonny without lifting his head from where it rested. "I had no intention of going there; I just ended up there once I set out running. I did not have any direction in mind." The pause told them all that there was more to come and they did not have to wait long. "Ash bringing up Brian just bought up a lot of things, memories… I will never forget him, never could, but it's the small things that I can't quite remember and those are the things that I wish I could remember the most. I was lying in bed this morning and it struck me that I never really thought about what those last moments would have been like for him because I know what those immediate moments were like after that bomb went off beside me, and I wondered if they were similar. That is why I had to get up and get out, clear my head." Clay did not miss the poorly disguised winces from his brothers at that comparison especially as it was something that they had not spoken about before but he was being honest as they had asked him to be. Those recollections of those moments in the immediate aftermath had come back to him during his mandatory counselling sessions although he only had said enough to be cleared at the time.

"Okay." Sonny's relief was palpable and he heard it in his own voice.

"Okay." Clay smiled softly although it was tinged with sadness before something else came to his mind although everything still felt hazy. "How did you find me?" He asked as he let his eyelids close again figuring it was okay to as he was exhausted and he still did not feel well, if anything he wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep after he had a shower as his skin felt sticky which was not a feeling he enjoyed at any time but especially when he was at home.

"Derek." Sonny spat the name out with a fierce-ness that immediately made Clay tense and force his eyelids to open again.

"Sonny? Guys?" Clay had that sinking feeling again as the worry set in once more.

"It's nothing to worry about Clay." Trent quickly tried to quell the rising concern that he could see in Clay after he sent a quick glare towards Sonny for upsetting him especially when he was just starting to relax.

"That is the tone Sonny uses when he is ready to make someone specific pay so it does mean I should worry. What does Derek have to do with you finding me? I obviously caused something to happen between you and Derek so tell me." The confusion was not any less as Clay waited for an answer or for someone to tell him what had happened as his anxiety grew deep within him.

Brock knew that Clay would not settle until he found out what was going on although he wished that they had longer to keep it from him just so they did not cause him any more stress but it was too late for that. "We thought that you had not come in today, that you had found somewhere cooler to ride out the heatwave. Derek was the one who saw you heading out on your run and alerted us along with Alpha. We all got a bit defensive but I promise you that it is all sorted. We all were worried, that's all. We even agreed to let Derek take you home once you are up to it." Brock knew that the details would not help ease Clay's concern so it was best not to include them.

Clay studied Brock for a few seconds with a frown on his face but before he could say anything, Jason jostled him making him look up at him. "We messed up, should have reached out. It won't happen again. We are all good with Alpha." It was a simplification from Jason but it was for the best, and he knew that Sonny would get it out of his system by punching the shit out of a punching bag once they were all sure that Clay was better.

Trent knew that Clay had had enough and he silently communicated that to Jason who gave him a single nod in understanding as Clay rested his head back down but his eyes remained open. None of them particularly liked being separated from Clay but they all knew it would keep the peace for Derek to drive him home. "How are you feeling Spense?" Trent moved in closer to re-evaluate Clay medically once more.

"I'm tired, really tired." Clay knew it was not the answer that Trent was looking for but it was how he felt.

"I know you are. Are you lightheaded or dizzy at all?" Trent replied as it was easy to tell the Clay was exhausted as he looked pretty close to falling asleep on Jason's shoulder but there was no need to mention that as he would become embarrassed and try to pull himself away or worse yet isolate himself again.

"Still a little lightheaded if I move. Can I have another drink?" Clay replied as he still felt thirsty but he knew that he would have to be careful with his fluid intake for a while as it was not simply a matter of drinking as much as a person could in a short amount of time to rehydrate themselves.

"You can have water, small sips though." Trent knew that someone would get Clay a bottle of water as he reached out and pinched the skin on the back of Clay's hand that was not split open to test his skin's elasticity, and he was pleased with the improvement that he saw as the skin moved back into place quicker than it had previously which indicated that he was rehydrating the way he needed too. "No exercising for the next few days and I want you to stay out of this heat and the sun in that time too. We will re-evaluate in a few days but for now it is best to let your body rest and recover." Trent knew that Clay would not be appreciative of not being able to exercise but he also knew that he would abide by it because it was a matter of his health.

"Water, it is nice and cold too." Ray had gone and got Clay a fresh icy cold bottle of water pleased that he was asking to drink. He had uncapped it and held it out to Clay who took it immediately and began to sip it after thanking him.

"I think you are okay to go home as long as you keep your fluids up and get some sleep." Trent would have preferred to monitor Clay for several more hours but it was not fair to make him lay in his hammock or sit in a chair when all he wanted was his own bed which would be far more beneficial to his overall rest. Trent also suspected that Clay would not be alone for long as he was sure that Sonny, or Brock with Cerb would stop by and check on him at some point.

Clay did not bother to respond as he just focused on sipping on the water and enjoying the coolness of it as it eased his parched throat knowing that his brothers would do what was best for him. He knew that he felt lighter, that his head felt clearer, and the weight that was pressing down on his chest had lifted, and he knew that was because of the men surrounding him, men he could never doubt and should never have doubted. Clay was content just where he was.

SEAL TEAM

Derek looked over at Clay who had listed to the side and had his forehead pressed up against the glass of the door with his eyes closed as the air conditioning blew cold air onto his face as he pulled into a carpark in front of their building. He knew that Jason would keep his word about letting him take Clay home but he was still surprised although Clay did not seem to mind who took him as long as he was going home. Clay had barely said anything once Brock with Jason's help got him up and seated in the truck, and he had even let Brock put his seatbelt on for him. Derek turned off the truck and saw that Trish had come out to meet him after he told her what had happened earlier in the day so that she knew he would be home later than he had planned. "Clay, we're home." Derek kept his voice low before he opened his door as Trish met them. Clay groaned and pulled his head away from the window now that the air conditioning was turned off there was no relief from the heat.

Trish opened the passenger's side door and took a decent look at Clay, seeing he was wan yet his cheeks were flushed with sunburn. "Hi Clay. Derek's going to help you inside, I have got your bags." She told them both seeing Derek was about to protest her carrying both of their bags but stopped him with a look.

"Thanks Trish." Clay managed to get the words out although he was far too tired to hold a conversation. Trish smiled softly and reached her hand out to pat him on his elbow before she moved out of the way so that Derek could get in to help Clay out while she went to the bed of the truck for their bags.

Derek reached over and released the seatbelt before he leaned back so that Clay could get himself free from it before he placed his hand on Clay's elbow and helped him manoeuvre out of the truck. Clay landed unsteady on his feet and would surely have stumbled if it had not have been for Derek's strong grip and quick movements. "Slow down there a minute Clay." Derek told him as he closed the door and pressed the button to lock his truck down just as Trish reached out and took hold of Clay's other elbow to help steady him. Clay stopped completely although he was unable to stop the swaying of his body and waited. Trish sent a look her husband's way that silently asked what the hell was Clay doing out of the infirmary but Derek just shook his head knowing that he would explain once they got Clay upstairs and settled in. "Alright, lets get going." Derek knew Clay would start moving again, however slow he needed to go with both himself and Trish supporting him.

The journey up to Clay's apartment took longer than usual but Clay was relentless and would not stop because he was not sure if he would want to continue if he did. Trish waited until they got Clay inside his own apartment and she sat his bag down on the floor before she took her leave knowing that Derek would stay a while. Clay managed to murmur another thank you and a goodbye to her before she closed the door behind herself.

Derek looked around the apartment, surprised at how spotless it was, almost devoid of life before he looked over at Clay who had stilled in the middle of the living room. "Clay? You okay?" Derek asked already moving towards him unsure of what was happening.

Clay nodded very slowly as he felt lightheaded once more and kind of dizzy all at once. "Yeah, yeah, thanks. I just need to shower." Clay managed to get the words out through the dizziness as he focused on trying not to collapse as his world tilted this way and that which was disorientating.

"Okay. I'm going to stay out here while you do. Yell if you need anything." Derek wanted to suggest that Clay take a seat and let himself rest for a few minutes but he could see how desperate Clay was for a shower which he understood well as it was no fun being drenched in sweat that had then dried leaving an uncomfortable stickiness on the skin.

Clay took a few more seconds before he finally looked towards Derek. "Thanks man, make yourself at home." Clay was not even going to argue with Derek because he knew that no matter what he said that it would make no difference. Clay did not wait for a response as he finally shuffled off towards the bathroom.

Derek made sure to wait until he heard the water running in the shower and then the clunk of Clay's belt buckle hitting the floor before he made his way into the kitchen which was spotless. Derek kept listening out for Clay as the last thing he needed was to collapse or slip over in the shower and end up hurting himself which he was sure there were multiple ways of doing. Derek opened the fridge and sighed as he was immediately struck by how baron it was, it was even void of beer, before he moved onto the cupboards which were all in the same sorry state – empty – although he was in two frames of mind about the lack of alcohol as it either meant that Clay had been drowning his sorrows or he had decided not to have any in the house which did not seem normal either. There was really only one way to know and that was to ask but it had to be asked with caution.

Clay stood under the hot water letting the heat seep into his aching muscles as he steadied himself with a hand pressed against the wall, he was sure that having a steaming hot shower was not good for his dehydration and heat exposure but he needed it and anyway the air conditioning in his apartment was on which meant it was cool. Clay was also aware that the longer he took the more likely he was to end up passing out so with that thought he quickly soaped himself up from head to toe then rinsed off before he turned the water off and stepped out, having to steady himself again with a hand on the edge of the sink once he had wrapped and tucked the towel around his waist. With slow and uneven movements Clay managed to dry himself off with a second towel before he made his way from the bathroom to his bedroom using the wall as his support.

"Clay, you okay?" Derek called out as he had been listening to Clay move around after the shower had turned off which was more than a few minutes ago but he made no effort to move closer as he did not want to impede on his privacy.

"Be out in a minute." Clay called back as he pulled on a pair of fresh boxers that he had bought because they were long enough to cover the scars on his thigh although at the time it had been a subconscious action before he grabbed a shirt and pulled it over his head.

Derek let himself relax relieved at the fact that Clay was still upright and talking, a far cry from his condition a few hours ago. Derek looked up and over as Clay shuffled his way into the lounge with his skin tinged pink which he knew was not just from the sun but from the water being fairly hot. "Feel better?" Derek asked genuinely wanting to know.

"Yeah, just exhausted." Clay kept up his slow walk as he made his way into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water knowing that Derek had got up from the couch and had followed him, stopping as he lent against the edge of the dividing wall.

"I won't stay long." Derek immediately felt kind of guilty for keeping Clay up because he did look exhausted and unwell but he needed some assurances before he left even though he and Trish were right across the hall.

"What do you want to know?" Clay still did not know what had really happened between his team and Derek, and he suspected that he never would get the full story from any of them which concerned him even though he tried not to let it show. The last thing he wanted was for his actions to cause a rift between the men and the teams. Clay could see Derek's concern just as well as he could see that of his own teams and it seemed only fair to answer the questions that he had considering he had been instrumental in finding him and getting him the medical treatment he had needed.

Derek was shocked and a little worried at how defeated Clay sounded as he turned around and lent back against the bench facing him once his glass was filled with water. "While you were in the shower, I took the opportunity to check what you had in stock in the kitchen. I have to say Clay it is pretty dismal at best. Have you been eating?" Derek was straight with Clay on his actions knowing it would not be hard to figure out.

Clay shrugged his shoulders as he drank half of the glass down as his thirst had increased again. "Haven't really been hungry." It was the easiest answer as it was the truth as Clay had lost his appetite after his and Ash's words.

Derek had no idea what lead Clay to push himself so far and he was not going to ask because it was not his place to know although if Clay needed to talk then he would dutifully listen although he was not surprised that Clay had not been eating. "What about drinking?" Derek was aware the question could be taken two ways, he just hoped it was taken the better way.

Clay's eyes widened as he looked surprised at the question as if he had not expected it to be the next one. "I'm not… I haven't…" Clay shook his head hating that he was fumbling over his words but he could understand Derek's need to ask given that he practically had nothing in his fridge and cupboards, and usually he would at least have a few bottles of beer in the fridge if nothing else. "I haven't been drinking much… not since…" Clay ran his hand over the top of his thigh absentmindedly as the memory of that night came crashing into his mind which he willed away just as quickly.

Derek had not missed the involuntary action that Clay now had but chose not to point it out. "Alright, I just had to ask Clay." Derek waited for Clay to nod in acknowledgement which took a few more seconds than usual and in that time Clay had grown more ashen which was worrisome. "Go crawl into bed brother. Get some sleep. I'll let myself out. If you need anything at all Trish and I are right across the hall." Derek knew that it was one thing that Clay would not argue with him about as he was barely managing to stay awake. Clay nodded tiredly, grateful that their conversation was cut short, before he picked up his glass of water again and shuffled out of the kitchen, past Derek, to his bedroom knowing Derek would shut and lock the door on his way out. He put the glass of water down on his bedside table noticing how his body was still trembling minutely, pulled off his shirt and dropped it down on top of the comforter before he crawled under the comforter and settled on his side, letting himself relax and fall asleep as he did not have the energy for anything else.

Derek waited for a few extra minutes just until he was sure that Clay was settled and asleep in bed before he let himself out and locked the door behind him. Derek pulled out his phone and sent Jason a message letting him know that Clay had showered, had a glass of water, and was in bed asleep, and he also mentioned that Clay could do with some food in the message knowing that Bravo would step in to sort it out. Derek smiled as he walked in and Trish looked up at him having already emptied out his bag into the laundry basket.

"Everything okay?" Trish asked as her own concern at Clay's state became evident. She knew Clay had struggled, was more aware of it than Derek as she had seen him a lot more during his recovery after Manila, and that he was still struggling. Truthfully she recognised some of the signs from when Derek had been severely injured, and vividly recalled them as she was reminded by his scars every time she saw them.

Derek walked over to Trish and wrapped his arms around her before he rested his forehead against hers. "Over exercising and a heatwave do not mix well." It was the only answer he had and even he was not satisfied with it.

Trish settled her hands over Derek's chest knowing that there was more going on but she suspected that he was not privy to that information rather than he did not want to share it. "We'll check in on him a little bit extra over the next few days." She smiled knowing that she would do it anyway even if Alpha got spun up.

"Thank you." Derek raised his head and kissed her forehead grateful for her.

SEAL TEAM

Jason still felt uneasy as did everyone else about Clay being at home alone even after he had received Derek's message although he was not surprised that the kid's kitchen was devoid of food. It was a unanimous decision to let Clay sleep for a couple of hours while everyone did their own things before they would meet at Clay's apartment to keep him company and have dinner with him, and Trent was keen to do another medical assessment as well.

Jason smiled as he pulled into the parking lot of Clay's apartment seeing each of his team. Ray had several dishes that clearly had been cooked by Naima in his arms for them to eat, it looked as though she had cooked a feast then again she was well aware of how much six men and one dog could eat. Trent had his medical kit, a tray of bottled water, and a tray of Gatorade. Brock had Cerb off his leash and held an over packed bag of candy and sweet treats. Sonny stood with a case of beer to accompany their meal as well as a twelve pack of non-alcoholic beer which he had seen Clay drink numerous times before. Jason had gotten the kid some groceries so that he at least had something to snack on if he did not want to have a big meal.

Jason parked and got out of his truck then grabbed the three grocery bags before he joined his men. "Are we ready?" Jason asked eager as the rest of them were to go up and check on their little brother.

"Brock, can you grab the freezer bags? Naima figured that freezable portions would be a good idea. There's enough to last Clay six weeks at least." Ray explained knowing once he had told Naima a small selection of pertinent information about why he and the rest of the men were going over to Clay's for dinner she had set about making several dishes not only for their dinner but for Clay to defrost and reheat for several weeks to come especially after Ray had shared his own personal concerns that Clay was not eating properly, if at all.

"I love that wife of yours." Sonny smiled making the toothpick he was chewing on curl up as it gave him peace of mind that at least Clay would have a ready meal to eat, and his brothers chuckled as Ray pinned him with a glare while Brock somehow managed to balance his bag of treats and the two freezer bags that were packed to the brim.

"Lets go check on our kid." Jason knew that if they did not move in a few seconds then Trent would be bolting away from them as patience was not the medic's strongest attribute given that he had been away from Clay for a few hours and no one else was watching him.

"I've got a key." Sonny called out wanting to make sure that no one knocked on the door and woke Clay up if he was still sleeping as Trent with Cerberus led them into the apartment building followed closely by Jason, Ray, Brock and himself. Sure, technically the key was only for emergencies but surely this qualified after all it had only been a few hours since they had found Clay collapsed in the training field suffering from severe dehydration and heat exposure. And even if it did not qualify as an emergency to Clay then he would ignore him.

It took the men barely any time at all to make it up to Clay's apartment, and with quick and efficient movements Sonny had the door unlocked in seconds. "I'll put the oven on, get this reheating." Ray knew that the smell of a home cooked meal would most likely draw Clay out of his bedroom as Brock followed behind and put everything on the counter with Trent and Jason doing the same.

Sonny closed the door quietly but made no effort to move to join the rest of the men in the kitchen as he took in the apartment, or rather how clean and baron it was, not that Clay was a slob but his apartment usually at least looked lived in. "God dammit Bam Bam." Sonny growled under his breath but obviously not quietly enough as it caught his brother's attention as they all stopped what they were doing and looked over at him, all with various questioning looks, even Cerb had sat down and cocked his head to the side.

Jason wondered what had made Sonny so uncharacteristically quiet and still considering he had a case of beer which remained untouched. "What is it?" Jason asked making sure to keep his voice low as none of them wanted to wake Clay up as the more sleep he got the better.

Brock followed Sonny's gaze as he took in the apartment and realised what had made Sonny pause. "Spense's apartment is spotless. There isn't a thing out of place." Brock filled in the blanks for the rest of them which made them all look round and take in the environment.

"Looks more like a show home than an actual home." Trent's voice was incredibly soft and he sounded saddened because he was. Yet again they had missed another sign that something was going on with Clay. Sure they all liked order after all they were sailors and the Navy instilled order but Clay's apartment was beyond order; if he did not know that Clay lived there then there would be almost no way to tell.

Sonny made his way across the room and put the beers down on top of the bench before he turned and headed towards Clay's bedroom as silently as he could. Sonny was glad to see the door ajar as he stopped and lent against the doorframe then pushed the door open just a few inches more so that he could see more. Sonny was relieved and his shoulders relaxed as he saw Clay asleep on his side with the blanket tucked around his legs and pulled up to his chest with his hands curled into the pillow that his head was laid on. Clay looked as though he was sleeping peacefully and it was nice to see that he was not being plagued by nightmares or at least he was not now.

Jason walked up to Sonny and placed his hand on his shoulder knowing how affected he was under his gruff exterior from having missed that Clay was struggling and by his mutterings when he was confused at the height of his dehydration and heat exposure which had not been helped by Derek's words either. Jason's lips curled into a soft smile at the sight of Clay as the sight was reminiscent of Mikey but it was somehow better because Jason knew just how hard it could be to sleep peacefully which was something they all shared unwillingly. Jason turned back to Sonny who had not taken his eyes off Clay. "We got to him in time Sonny. He's here and he's okay, resting and recovering but okay nonetheless." Jason knew that his words would be shrugged off because Sonny still felt guilty but they all shared that guilt still.

Sonny inhaled a shaky breath as he listened to Jason and while he knew what he was saying, what he was getting at, he still could not shake the guiltiness that he felt nor was he ready to let it go either. "But we wouldn't have if… I, we, didn't even know… He's my brother, one of my best friends… and we could have lost him in a field on base…" Sonny struggled to keep his emotions at bay as the thought that Clay could have died again but this time on base was crushing. Manila had been hard enough, actually it had been terrifying, and seeing Clay laying in the field had bought back those memories despite how desperately he wanted to forget them but he knew he never would.

Jason could feel the impact of Sonny's words as the realisation set in as this was not just about the immediate issue but instead it had bought up the old but still very prevalent trauma of Manila, of Clay's life hanging in the balance. He squeezed Sonny's shoulder tighter not sure if he was giving comfort or taking it but then again maybe they all needed comforting. "We didn't and we are not going too." The 'lose him' did not need to be said; Jason knew it was a promise that he nor anyone else could make but then again he knew his team and he knew that each and every single one of them would go to hell and back for one another. "Now come with me, have a beer, and let the kid continue to sleep. He will be up soon enough once he smells Naima's cooking." Jason figured that Clay would not appreciate them watching him sleep but what he did not know also would not hurt him, and Sonny needed a distraction. With one final long look Sonny nodded and turned away although he did not pull the door closed again.

Jason smiled as Clay's kitchen had become a hive of activity as Ray packed the freezer with Naima's frozen individual portions, Trent stocked the fridge with half of the bottled water and Gatorade, and Brock filled the rest of the fridge and the cupboards with the groceries that he and Jason had bought. Jason reached over, opened the box of beer, then pulled enough of the chilled bottles out for all of them and handed them out earning various thanks and nods.

"Clay still asleep?" Brock asked as he tossed Cerb a dog treat trying to keep him distracted from entering Clay's room and crawling into bed with him although maybe it would not be the worst thing in the world.

"Yeah, he needs it." Jason answered before he took a large mouthful of his own beer. "Doubt it will be long before he is up though when the food smells as good as it does." The warm and comforting aroma of Naima's cooking had started to fill the air.

"Get some food and at least another bottle of water into him, followed by a quick check up then he can go back to bed and sleep for as long as he likes." Trent pretty much had the night planned out in his head with the things he listed being top priority.

Ray leant back against the bench and smirked as he caught sight of Cerb belly crawling along the floor towards Clay's bedroom. Ray looked over at Brock who simply smiled and shook his head at his dog's actions deciding not to call him back. "I think Cerb is staying here the night." Ray tipped his bottle loosely towards the bedroom now that Cerb was out of sight having made it through the door.

"Clay could do with the company." Brock shrugged knowing that it also gave him a valid excuse to pop around for a visit in the morning or just crash the night on the sofa. Brock had an idea that Clay still might want to be alone so Cerb was a compromise of sorts if it was decided. No one objected to Brock's statement instead they lapsed into silence as they sipped their beers and thought over the past few hours and days.

SEAL TEAM

Clay felt the mattress dip slightly but it was enough to rouse him to a conscious state. A soft nudge against his hand made him smile because without even opening his eyes he knew that it was Cerberus. Clay moved his arm up and Cerb immediately crawled up higher and laid along his side, resting his furry head on his bicep and letting his tail thump softly on the bed. Clay reached his other arm over and hugged Cerb, running his fingers through the short soft fur. Clay laid there for a few more moments before he finally forced his eyelids to open then blinked heavily a few times to clear the blurriness from his eyes.

"Hi boy." Clay's voice was still hoarse and now was thick from sleeping as he spoke to Cerb very quietly not entirely ready to disturb the peaceful atmosphere around him. "Guess if you are here then Brock is at least, if not everyone." The smell of food cooking then caught Clay's attention although right now he was comfortable in bed with Cerb tucked into his side, and he would have stayed there if his stomach did not rumble loudly as his appetite finally made its reappearance. Cerb nuzzled Clay's face with the top of his head which had Clay pressing a light kiss to the tip of the dog's ear as he continued to stroke him.

Clay laid there for several minutes just needing to rest and prepare himself as he was embarrassed by his own carelessness and his emotional state which had him admitting far more than he had wanted too but his brothers were right about him needing to talk because he did feel lighter even though he still felt sick. Cerb licked at his cheek and pulled him from his thoughts as his mind had begun to wonder. "You want to get some dinner boy?" Clay asked Cerb knowing that Brock kept a supply of Cerb's dietary needs stashed in one of his cupboards earning another lick and a soft bark which Clay was taking as a noise of agreeance. "Yeah, I think I do too." Clay whispered before he untangled himself from Cerb and from the blankets and sat up, waiting a few seconds for his equilibrium to clear before he reached out and grabbed the glass from his bedside table then bought it to his lips and finished the water. He grabbed his shirt from the end of the bed and pulled it over his head before he finally stood up taking a mental note of the stiffness and soreness of his body as he crossed over to the wardrobe, pulled out a pair of sweatpants and then pulled them on once he had steadied himself against the wall as his gait was still slightly uneven.

Clay looked up to see that Cerb was patiently waiting for him at his open bedroom door, watching him almost as if he was studying him. He ran his hand through his matted still damp curls, tugging here and there when his fingers got caught on a knot, as he held onto the wall and took a few deep breaths as he felt exhausted even though he had slept for nearly two and a half hours. He steadied himself as best as he could and made his way out of the bedroom behind Cerb who was leading even announcing their approach with an attention grabbing bark.

"Hey kid." Jason was glad to see Clay back up and on his feet although he still looked uncomfortable and slightly off.

"Hi… what's going on?" Clay was surprised to see his whole team but then again he also wasn't because he knew that he had inadvertently worried them all so of course they would be checking in on him at least a little bit more over the coming days and weeks.

"We felt like your company blondie." Sonny knew that Clay knew their real motive but he also knew that he was not about to call them out on it.

"Team dinner and Naima cooked." Jason interjected as Clay nodded although he stopped as he wavered.

Trent had begun to study Clay from the moment he first appeared in his line of sight and while he looked visibly better it was clear he still had a long way to go. His skin had regained most of its colour so he was no longer ashen and his cheeks were not as flushed as they had been. He was not squinting however he still had dark circles under his eyes but Trent was not worried about those because he knew that Clay would be back in bed sleeping soon enough. Although the light involuntary swaying that Clay's body was doing was cause for concern however Trent suspected that had a lot to do with his exhaustion and that he had not eaten either which they would remedy fairly soon. Trent reached out for Clay's elbow as he wavered to stay upright but Clay righted himself as he planted his own hand on the wall next to him. "How are you feeling?" Trent asked deciding that checking him over had just become his first priority.

"Better – still thirsty and tired but not as bad as before. I am hungry though." Clay answered and his stomach rumbled loudly to emphasise its hunger just as he finished speaking.

"Dinner won't be long, few more minutes and it will be hot enough." Ray was following his wife's reheating instructions to the letter as he kept an eye on the time.

Trent nodded as he took in Clay's account of how he was feeling. "Why don't you sit down brother? I'll check you over while dinner finishes heating." He pointed towards the couch where his medical bag was sitting.

Clay knew that he was not going to get out of Trent checking him over again but he did want another glass of water first. "Yeah, just need some water first."

Brock could see Trent's impatience starting to show and knew it was only because of the concern he felt. "You go sit down with Cerb and I'll get you some water." Brock had no problem tending to Clay by getting him a glass of water. Clay nodded softly and finally eased his hand away from the wall then took a few shaky steps as Trent followed behind with his arms held out ready to catch him as he made his way over to the couch as Cerb raced ahead and leapt up to be beside him once he reached it and was seated.

Trent knelt down in front of Clay as Jason joined them while Ray and Sonny got plates and cutlery out of the cupboard before Brock walked over and handed Clay a large fresh glass of water. "Thanks." Clay took the glass and drank half of it immediately before he put it down on the table as Trent started his exam by taking his blood pressure while Cerb curled up next to him with his head rested in Clay's lap.

Jason knew that Trent was right and that it would not be long before Clay would be back in bed only this time he would have Cerb with him for the rest of the night. Clay looked completely content, worn down but content, sitting on the couch with Cerb pressed and curled up against him. "How did you sleep?" Jason asked hoping that what Clay would tell them would correlate with what he and Sonny witnessed as Trent moved about taking vital readings and checking his skin elasticity once more.

Clay looked up in surprise at the question that Jason had asked but he knew that nothing would be held or used against him by these men. "I went straight to sleep as soon as I got into bed, slept straight through until just now. Pretty sure that I didn't even move so I would say I slept pretty good." He knew he had not woken up in a cold sweat from a vivid nightmare that felt all too real, or that he had laid awake for hours on end staring at the ceiling in between bouts of tossing and turning.

"Good." Jason was satisfied that Clay was sleeping just as they had hoped he would be, peacefully. "How's he looking Trent?" Jason turned his attention to the medic and his actions seeing that he had checked Clay's vitals, hell he had even pulled out his stethoscope and listened to his heart.

"Temperature is right where it should be and his heart rate is back to normal too. Blood pressure is still slightly low but so is his blood sugar level. Some dinner, at least another two glasses of water with it, then the rest of the night spent sleeping should right those last two." Trent was pleased as he knew the damage that heat exposure and severe dehydration could do to a person's body but yet again Clay had luck on his side.

"Just in time, dinner's up." Ray called as he put the last dish down on the board on the bench figuring the guys could serve themselves however Sonny had already started filling a plate for Clay because Sonny had decided that it would be mean making him get up off the couch when he looked as content as he did especially after the day he had had.

Sonny stopped at the fridge and grabbed out one of the bottles of water that Trent had put in the freezer to rapid cool so that Clay could just refill his glass before he walked over to Clay. "Here brother, eat up." Sonny held out the plate towards Clay while the others made their way to fill theirs up.

Clay reached out and took the plate and his eyes widened at the amount of food that Sonny had managed to pile on it. "Thanks." Clay took the cutlery that was offered after he had set the plate down in his lap. He was hungry but there was no way that he was getting through the amount of food that was on his plate even though it smelt delicious. Sonny nodded then turned to head back to grab his own plate as everyone else made their way over and sat down to join him and Cerb.

The men ate and talked, and kept a continuous watch on Clay who was awfully quiet as he ate slowly until he put his fork down as he could not eat another mouthful despite the valiant effort he had made he had only got through a third of the plate full of food while the others had finished. "Have you had enough?" Jason asked as he reached his hand for Clay to pass him the plate so that he could put it on the table. Clay nodded tiredly as he raised his hand up to his eyes and rubbed at them instead of handing Jason his plate. Jason leaned forward and took the plate anyway otherwise it would only be a matter of time before it slipped and the food went everywhere.

"You sure you've had enough? We can get you something else if you want." Brock offered knowing that Clay had a healthy appetite usually and would have eaten more as the plate looked hardly touched. And Clay always loved Naima's cooking, hell they had seen him scrap a plate clean before so it was concerning.

"I'm full." Clay had enjoyed what he had eaten but his stomach felt like it was bursting to the brim and the last thing he wanted was to end up vomiting because he had gorged himself and overeaten.

Weary and worried glances were exchanged between the rest of the men at Clay's words but Trent shook his head to stop them from saying anything about it. "Alright little brother, I think its time for you to be tucked back into bed." Sonny was concerned about Clay's food intake as well but he looked ready to fall asleep again so for now the amount he had eaten would suffice.

"Don't need to be tucked in." Clay pouted but he made no effort to move as he was comfortable where he was and as much as he wanted to curl up in his bed it seemed to far away, and Cerb was warm against him.

"Of course you don't. Come on." Jason rose to his own feet then stepped forward and held out his hand for Clay to grab as Sonny mirrored his actions. He watched as Clay looked at Cerb who had moved his head off of his lap so that he could move.

"Cerb's going to stay with you tonight Spense." Brock informed Clay hoping that would settle him and get him into bed.

Clay smiled tiredly as he finally took both Jason and Sonny's outstretched hands and with their help stood up, wavering once more. "We will clean up brother then lock up behind us when we leave." Ray did not want Clay to worry about a thing seeing him nod.

Cerb jogged ahead of Clay, Jason and Sonny, jumped up and settled himself on the side of the bed waiting for Clay to get in. Clay stopped at the edge of the bed as Jason and Sonny let go of him, and he stripped down to his boxers again before he crawled back into his bed and covered himself up with the blankets. "There's a bottle of water on the nightstand and your phone is there too. Remember we are only a call or a text away kid." Jason reminded him before he leaned over and scratched behind Cerb's ears as the dog curled up next to Clay with his head laid on his chest.

"Uh-hmm…" Clay mumbled already half asleep.

"Night blondie." Sonny smiled softly watching as Clay nuzzled the side of his face into the pillow. Jason nodded his head towards the door and Sonny nodded back before he began heading towards it so that Clay could be left to sleep.

"Night…"Clay mumbled again just as Jason closed the door but made sure to leave it slightly ajar so that Cerb could come and go as he pleased.

Ray, Brock and Trent made quick work of the clean up while Jason and Sonny put Clay to bed. "Is he asleep already?" Ray asked slightly surprised as it had only been a few minutes, and usually despite how exhausted Clay was it always took him at least a while to go to sleep.

"Asleep the second his head hit the pillow." Jason grinned as he finished the last of his beer then moved to collect the empty bottles to dispose of them.

"Trent?" Sonny called his name as he opened the fridge door for Ray to put in the leftovers that had now been transferred to another smaller container.

"Yeah?" Trent asked as he slung the tea towel over his shoulder as he finished drying the last of the dishes, handing the last plate to Brock to put away.

"How come you are okay with blondie eating so little?" Sonny asked the question that was now plaguing him as normally Trent would have been the first to call Clay out on eating as little as he had.

Trent hoped that he would not be called out on his dismissal of how much Clay had eaten but apparently luck was not on his side as everyone stopped what they were doing and waited for him to answer although he was sure that they would not like the answer. "The kid has not been eating." Trent stated simply then snorted at the blank yet angry looks that he received. "The stomach can shrink when a person does not eat so when they do eat again they feel fuller quicker. Clay was full at least five mouthfuls before he finally put his fork down but the other side is he has had a lot of water so that would have helped to fill him as well. At least his appetite is back and he ate a substantial meal that was healthy." He explained hoping to ease the worry that was building once more within his brothers although it would be something that he would be watching closely along with Clay's physical exercise regime and his fluid intake.

Ray exhaled rather loudly before he shook his head. "Spenser really did a number on him this time." Bringing up Ash's actions probably was not the smartest thing to do but Ray was angry at him and hated that he had once again made Clay suffer but he would not get the satisfaction of seeing it, that was something they would make sure of.

Jason looked at Ray wondering why the hell he had bought Ash up but then again they were all angry at him for Clay's suffering due to his words. "Ash will get what is coming to him but for now, just as it always has been and always will be, Clay is our priority. None of us, however much we would like to, are going to do anything to Ash as he is not worth losing our careers over. And as much as Clay hates him he also loves him despite how much he does not want too. If we see Ash then we walk away, we do not give him one ounce of satisfaction by letting him know just how his words have affected Clay. Understand me?" Jason did not need any of his team going after Ash Spenser because the man simply was not worth it as his eyes lingered on Sonny for a few seconds longer than anyone else but they all agreed which eased his mind.

"We are all coming back here in the morning, aren't we? Or I can pick up Clay and Cerb and meet you at the diner for breakfast." Brock asked figuring that they would pick up Clay and Cerb and go for breakfast before they reported to base for the day even with Clay on mandated light duties by Trent. Once again it served a dual purpose as it allowed them to monitor Clay and what he was eating.

"You pick up Clay and Cerb in the morning and the rest of us will meet you there at the usual time." Jason decided that it would be good to keep things as normal as possible and by having a team breakfast at the local diner close to base that would be good for all of them. "Lets get out of here." Jason knew that it was best to let Clay sleep and they all needed to unwind after the day that it had been although he was slightly concerned that Sonny would head to the nearest bar to drown his sorrows by drinking his body weight in whatever alcohol was the cheapest.

Ray followed Trent, Brock and Sonny to the door but stopped and turned back to Jason. "You coming Jay?" He asked seeing that Jason had not moved.

"I'll be a few minutes behind you." Jason wanted to check on Clay one more time before he left. Jason did not miss the sly smile that Ray directed his way but he simply waved him away instead of saying anything. Ray took the hint and pulled the door closed behind him, heading down to the parking lot with the rest of the guys.

Jason took a few seconds before he wondered back to Clay's bedroom and looked in on him and Cerb. Cerb raised his head to look at Jason for a few seconds before he rested back down. Jason took a few more seconds to watch over Clay and ease his mind that he would be alright before he finally took his own leave making sure he shut and locked the door behind him.