Chapter Seventeen

February; 1545

The night was dark, the moon was waxing and its white light spilled out over the deep forest mountains. It was quiet and empty here through the thickness of the woods, save for the breeze that moaned between the trees.

Mitsuhide had mixed feelings about these forests. It was a place of many things, of many pains and losses in life, and of impossibly hard decisions which were impossible not to regret. He walked them often, retracing his steps from those years ago when he was a boy on the night his father had been killed.

He thought about his father often. It was over six years since that fateful night. Not a day went by when he did not think of it – and the many 'what ifs' which followed. The memories were still as vivid as when it had first happened. He could smell the blood, he could feel the killing intention rolling heavily in the air. He could hear the song of metal on metal as weapons clashed.

"Jubei . . . my beloved son. I will watch over you."

Mitsuhide remembered his father's last words clearly. He missed his father so terribly much. He could never show it, but at least out here, he could let some of his control fall away to allow his heart to lament over the loss.

"It is never advised to dwell in the past, my son," a voice breathed from the shadows. He knew who it was. He felt her coming.

Mitsuhide schooled his expression and turned. "Haha-ue," he murmured, bowing his head upon his mother's approach.

Lady Akechi glided over the snow which blanketed the roots. Barely a footprint was left behind, as if she were a ghost who had laid claim to these trees. Her pale skin seemingly glowed in the moonlight, her dark eyes glittering with age. The silks of her kimono caught the reflective shimmer of the silvery face in the night-time sky.

"I have never seen you out here before," Mitsuhide noted.

"I have been here more than you know. I just chose to make my presence known tonight."

Mitsuhide frowned. "How did I never notice you?"

Lady Akechi smiled faintly. "I am much, much older than you, Jubei. There is much about your mother you do not know yet."

Mitsuhide gazed at his mother. Her features were youthful, but indeed her eyes gave away her true age, likewise in her mannerisms and presence. Despite his father being far greater in combat, there was always something about his mother which felt somewhat more powerful. Perhaps it was her controlled demeanour, her patience and her freezing temper – when shown.

Aki did often say that a good mother and wife often had the greatest power in the household, even if it was not obvious. Mitsuhide found it an odd concept. But seeing his mother now made him think otherwise.

The walked together, slowly, in silence.

"Do you miss him?" Mitsuhide finally asked. He never saw his mother cave in to emotion. She was as stoic as they came. But he did always wonder. Did his mother grieve for her husband?

"Always," she said softly.

Mitsuhide tucked his hands within the sleeves of his haori. "Why did you never tell me, nor show me?"

"For the same reason you learned to control your emotions, Jubei. To stay strong and stable for those around us. Life never stands still. Time continues, in its own mysterious ways. The castle must still be run. The town must be governed. The province must still be protected. Open grief can be our worst enemy, for that is when we are most vulnerable, and is when our enemies will strike. But, that does not mean we cannot mourn or honour those we have lost. We just do it privately – or with our most trusted company."

It was a strange image, to envision his mother mourning or missing his father in silence. She always seemed indestructible, as unwavering as the mountain against the howl of a typhoon. She did not bow.

Or maybe she did, when the wind stopped howling. He knew his mother and father had been very old. He could not even begin to imagine the void left behind in her heart.

But, they were strong. In mind, body and spirit. They were focused. They knew what had to be done to maintain balance and order.

However, that did not mean a small gesture of kindness was unnecessary.

Mitsuhide stopped and turned to face his mother. He took her hands in his. It was extremely intimate, but to him, this was what he felt his mother needed. And in truth, he also needed it, for they both lost what had been most important to them all those years ago.

"I am here," he said. His tone was gentle, but there was strength in his voice. And he hoped his mother could sense that.

Lady Akechi met his gaze, and a softness graced her expression. She grasped his hands with a strong grip. "I know. You are just like him."

Mitsuhide snorted softly. "It is every son's goal to be as great – if not greater – than his father. I have a long way to go yet. As for character, even Mitsuharu bares stronger resemblance to father than I."

"Perhaps," Lady Akechi agreed thoughtfully. "Mitsukuni was often playful in character. In this regard, you take after me. But, you do become more open around Osamu."

The mention of Aki sent a small jolt of self-consciousness through him. It was bizarre. How could he feel that self-conscious suddenly over her mentioning? He even felt his neck flush with heat despite the cold air.

"You tease me, Haha-ue," he said, clearing his throat.

A knowing smile touched Lady Akechi's lips, but she said nothing. Instead, she said, "Let us take a walk together. The snow is beautiful this night."

The pair continued to walk. The crunch of their feet against the snow was muffled, the sound having been absorbed by the snow itself. It was cold, but it was a comfortable cold. Sometimes it was difficult to notice the little things, given their bodies were so strong and resilient. But bitter cold, harsh winds, freezing rain, and scorching sun they could feel. It was a reminder of the world around them, a reminder that despite their incredible strength and immortality, none were greater than the forces of nature.

"There is something I wish to talk to you about," Lady Akechi said, scattering Mitushide's thoughts about nature.

Mitsuhide looked at her expectantly.

"You are aware of the Hayato clan and their motives for having tried to assassinate you nearly seven years ago."

Mitsuhide's mood chilled to ice. "I know, Haha-ue," he said coolly. "I am to be the Heir of our race. The next Emperor of the Oni. The Hayato have other intentions."

He never liked saying it. He had known of his birthright for as long as he could remember. He knew of the power which came with it, both literally and figuratively. But even that could not save his father.

"It has been many centuries since a ruler sat on the throne of our race. For many generations it has always been the bloodline of the Minamoto who have ruled, and we are of that bloodline. And for the most part, that has been widely accepted. However, there are always rogue factions, factions who believe a different blood should rule and guide by the Superiors."

"The Hayato," Mitsuhide murmured with bitter venom.

"The Hayato are one of the clans who have always been loyal to the Taira. After the defeat of the Taira at the naval battle of Dan-nou-ura, the Hayato and similar factions went in to hiding. They have been plotting a return of the Taira blood to the throne for some time now."

Mitsuhide's eyes narrowed. "The only direct descendants of the Taira are now the Oda. They have been problematic, but not as much as the Imagawa in Suruga province."

"Indeed, Imagawa Yoshimoto's ambitions know no bounds, however, there have been whispers from Izumo and Yomi that hidden factions have taken an interest in the young son of Oda Nobuhide."

"Oda Nobunaga? He is just a boy."

"As were you, when powers started to come looking."

Mitsuhide could not argue against that. But what would a young boy from another clan have to do in the mythical world of demons and gods?

"I advise caution, Jubei. There are powers at work which even we do not understand. Your father and I spent many an evening discussing and investigating. You are the Heir. That has never changed, nor will it ever. But old enemies are stirring and it appears they have chosen the son of Oda Nobuhide to challenge you for the throne in the future."

"What of the Superiors in Takamagahara, the Heavenly Plain?"

"They sent us Osamu, and brought her to you."

Mitsuhide took a deep breath and straightened, almost stretching the subconscious stress from his limbs as they discussed otherworldly politics.

"The factions between the Oda and us may appear clear, being a traditional confrontation for the right to rule. However, Osamu's role in all of this is still unclear. Takamagahara have always vouched for peace. Yet I fear great battles lie ahead of us, of you."

Mitsuhide was quiet for a moment. Indeed it had been a great mystery as to why someone from another world had been brought to them. Her knowledge was impeccable, and she seemed to have an agenda of her own, as defined through the civil war between the Toki and the Saito. She had them loose on purpose. But she was not an evil woman. Mitsuhide knew that, deep within his heart. Her loyalty, her friendship, was absolute.

He felt a peace settle over him and found himself smiling. "Aki is with us. Regardless of what speculations we may have, I believe she was sent here to guide us."

xxxxx

Mana, wandered along the shore, stopping after every two steps with her nose glued to the ground as she searched for some tufts of grass to pull up and eat. The grass was wan here, still thin from the winter's cold that had smothered them in snow. The snow was nearly gone now. Spring would start arriving at the end of this month for the Honshuu region, but the blossoms would not open until late next month. Unlike Okinawa, this part of Japan was not blessed with that tropical weather.

One would think I could have visited the south by now. But, I had yet to do so. Time was just as scarce here as it was during my own time, not to mention travel was not exactly easy. It took hours to get anywhere, and generally a day just to get to the next town.

I stood by the lake, the lake which had changed my life forever. The waters were still, save for the ripples caused by the wind and the few birds that swam around across its crystal surface. The ice had melted a week ago.

The surface appeared white and grey, the same colours as the sky it reflected that was overcast by cloud. That same wind blew through my tied hair and ruffled the ripples of my hakama trousers. My arms were buried within my sleeves. A scarf that Lady Akechi had given me was wrapped around my neck, protecting it from the bitterness of the cold while my breath misted.

Standing where I was, on the shores, I listened to sigh of the air that gently clacked the bare branches of the nearby trees together. Leaves from the autumn fall rustled along surfaces that were not too damp to stick to them. Birds called in the distance. A crane stood in the shallows of the other side. Stark, tall and graceful. They said that the crane was Japan's national bird, a bird that presented immortality and longevity, especially in the north – Hokkaido.

Mana's heavy steps clopped through the undergrowth, a gentle thump and muffled clap while she snorted through bushes and leaves, trying to find something worthwhile to eat.

The air was cold through the folds of my clothes. But I embraced it. The wind was light, whispering secrets that I could not hear. It was the only voice I listened to here where there were no other people. Here, I was alone to my thoughts and ponderings. Here, I strained to listen, strained to see through the water's mirror for something. A sign. Anything.

Many things worried me very suddenly. One such worry was my unexpected vow and commitment to stay here in Sengoku Japan with Mitsuhide. I had tossed and turned over that thought over the years, never able to make a complete decision. Sometimes I swayed one way more than the other, for situations heavily influenced emotions and feelings and therefore attitudes. But I had never been able to make a true decision in my heart.

There had been times – more than I could count – where I imagined going back home to my family and life of modern technology, where I was more familiar with everything around me and it was easier to take things for granted. But as I imagined that scenario, the void in my heart remained where Mitsuhide would be. I ended up imagining what his life would be like without me. Would he remember me? Would he forget me?

I never would, and imagining a life without him brought a tightness to my chest I had never experienced previously.

But then, imagining spending the rest of my life here in sixteenth century Japan brought about the same emotions. I was happy to be with Mitsuhide, with the younger cousins Mitsutada, Mitsuharu, even Nou-hime. And there were my friends, Chiyo, Ichirou and Taka. It was hard to imagine living without them, people who had become my family. I loved them all.

But even they could not fill the void in my heart that was meant to be taken by my true parents and sister. I could never choose over my family, that is what I thought, and yet it seemed that I had. I chose Mitsuhide.

Why? Why was I finding it so hard to imagine or even think about leaving him?

I promised to serve him, to protect him, and to be his friend, I thought quietly. I made a promise to Mitsukuni that I would guide his son through his life.

Did that mean I would even change the events of history for him? I . . . didn't know. It was such a delicate matter. The past was a tricky thing. Time was a tricky thing.

Mitsuhide was almost seventeen, and already something had not gone according to history. Chigusa was with us, but there had been no official announcement of any engagement between the two. Mitsuhide's approach to her was formal as always. There seemed little love between the two cousins. It seemed unlikely that the confession which was rumoured to have occurred between her and Mitsuhide was ever going to happen.

Then again, Chigusa was a difficult young woman to read. She thought deeply and much of her thoughts remained silent. She was more tolerable now, and she was not as impossible to read as she was before, but still, it was a challenge. She demonstrated no obvious admiration or fancy towards Mitsuhide.

Likewise with Hiroko. She was supposed to be engaged to Mitsuhide as well around this time and married next year if my memory was still correct. But Mitsuhide had not spoken once of her this winter except for the times that I mentioned her and her father. What would happen if they did not marry? So much would change if they did not!

For starters, Tama would never be born. She would never be converted into a Christian and renamed Gracia, nor be the grandmother of Empress Shokun. What would happen to Japan's imperial line then?

Maybe there will be a different imperial family, in that case, one which did not agree to the sudden conquest of Asia during World War II.

That was certainly a pleasing thought. People would not hate Japan so much then. But what would happen in place of that?

There were too many variables. It was impossible to know what would and would not happen. So many possibilities.

I sighed and brought my gaze up from the lake's surface.

"Where are the Superiors?" I breathed. "Where are the three who brought me here?"

The branches continued to clack and the birds continued to sing fleetingly, as bleak as the sky itself.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I said softly to the lake. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. What is the purpose in bringing me here if I have no idea as to what that purpose is? Do you want me to make sure I stick to history? Or do you want me to change it?"

The wind continued to blow, the leaves whispered like the secret gossiping of children. Mana snorted behind me.

My eyes closed and my shoulders fell.

Nothing. Like so many times before.

I turned away from the lake to look at Mana. She was chewing on something and looked up at me with non-judgemental eyes. I smiled and stepped over to her.

"I hope you're not chewing on anything bad for you," I murmured to her, patting her neck. "Being sick in the winter is the last thing we want."

She paid little attention to my words. I could almost imagine her thinking that she would ignore my advice on being careful with food anyhow. If she wanted to eat, then she would find something to eat.

With a soft chuckle to myself, I took her reins and walked her and myself back from the lake. Mana was a lovely horse and docile in nature, but with a curiosity that was sometimes accompanied by an innocent stubbornness which Mana probably looked on with obliviousness. She was certainly not as wacky and as crazy as the animals that had belonged to me in the past. The rabbits my sister and I shared were classics, especially the last one.

"Toff, you idiot," I whispered under my breath, just feeling those familiar words run back over my tongue again. That last rabbit had such a character, and therefore the most commons words out of my mouth in the end were exactly those, aside from curses from when he peed on me to mark his territory, namely me again. A lovely rabbit though, despite his idiocy. Never a mean rabbit. Such character.

I walked for a while with Mana, up paths through trees. The shadows were lengthening as the evening quickly approached. It had been a while since I had done this. Something else always called for my attention instead which would either keep me castle-bound or somewhere in the town with some other sort of business.

Even today had been difficult. Mitsuhide spent all night out and therefore spent the majority of the morning asleep. Consequently I did much of his work today. But I did not mind. Not as much anyway. It was easier to feel bad for someone when that someone was clearly incapable of doing something for themselves at the time.

I had finished later than I expected and hoped, which naturally had me annoyed. Every minute past a schedule or plan was time wasted. Nevertheless, I felt better now, having had my solitary time by the lake to think. It helped in many ways, but also made things more complicated than what they already were. Any conclusions I reached was met by more questions and contradictions.

Why did simple ideas have to become so complex?

On smoother and wider roads, I mounted Mana and made my way back to the castle through the town where I waved to people and greeted them and vice versa. It was the best way to put my mind back into the right frame and arrive at the castle with the usual light-heartedness the people were used to seeing me with. Arriving with doom and gloom hanging over my head brought unnecessary attention.

Back on the castle grounds, I dismounted and led Mana to the stables. Riku, Mitsuhide's horse looked up in response to his sister's clopping feet and the stallion knickered.

With Mana in her pen, I went over to Riku who was chewing on some hay. He bumped my head within his own in welcome as I reached to pat his neck.

"I'm guessing Mitsuhide-sama didn't get to take you out for a run today," I muttered.

Riku snorted.

I scoffed. "What's that supposed to mean? Mitsuhide-sama is the best master you'll ever have, if you ever have another, which hopefully you won't." Seeing that Riku's hay was running low, I rummaged around the stables for another and tied it up for the bored-looking horse. "Shame, today was a good day for a stroll. The snow is all gone now. But Mitsuhide-sama was still in bed, if no one has told you."

It was nice, talking to animals. The same went for plants to some degree, though animals were better as there was some sort of response and something to look at – the eyes, for a source of intelligence. Animals also didn't talk back, which made ranting easier to some extent for no one challenged your views then. Some had more patience, though some did not. It didn't hurt as much when an animal turned its back though, unlike when talking to a human – or Oni in my case.

It was hard to remember I lived in a castle of Oni, even more so that my Lord, adoptive brother, and best friend was supposedly one of the most powerful of them all.

I patted Riku and then Mana goodnight and headed back into the castle where its warmth enveloped me.

Since the night that Mitsukuni died, Mitsuhide had never revealed that silvery side of his Oni form again. Everything he did was in the limits as humans would expect of an expert swordsman. In fact, Mitsuhide rarely used his true strength. Even if he did, it was minor and well-concealed. I was in no hurry to see that frightening form again, for it reminded me just how powerless I was against such strength and agility. I had only survived that fateful night out of sheer luck. Dreams and future sight were good for some things, it seemed.

Once inside, I made my way towards the kitchen to help out. I greeted them with smiles and enthusiasm, which they returned with equivalent vigor. Of course they had already started. But an extra helping hand was always welcome. I still remember when they had been surprised by my desire to help, especially after my adoption. A Lady helping in the kitchens? It was unheard of. But it did not take them long to come around to the idea of my assistance, and it was welcome to them.

Likewise, their willingness to accept help was a blessing to me as well. It was a distraction from politics, grounding against being carried off by rank and power, as well as a little reminder of my own home and helping my mother in the kitchen.

Before long, the food and sides and garnishes were arrayed fancifully in their aesthetic bowls across serving trays, and a new array of servants stood in line waiting to take the trays to the serving hall.

The chef gave me leave, and so I quickly dashed back to my quarters to change. It was unsightly to be smelling of cooking foods and oils when dining with the Lords and Ladies.

I dashed around the corner of the pavilion and almost ran straight into Mitsuhide and barely stifled the yelp of surprise, still half distracted by thinking of food and cooking. The yelp may have stayed silent through good training, but the surprise on my face I was sure was clear as day.

Mitsuhide being Mitsuhide, had heard my hasty approach and already caught my shoulders and steered me to the side with a grace which confused my brain, as it was still expecting the bump of a collision.

"My apologies, Mitsuhide-sama," I said sheepishly. "Boy I'm glad you've got good hearing."

An amused smile humoured his face.

"Also, I'm glad you're awake now. There's something I want to ask you about regarding the administrative forms for the rice reserves. I'm not too sure if I've done it right. Can I speak to you after about it?"

"Of course."

"Excellent. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get changed quickly." I bowed hastily, before ducking past him and hurried to my quarters.

xxxxx

I happened to be the last one into the dining hall, but luckily I was not late. I had another masculine attire on, similar to my previous one, except I just wore a fancier haori over the top of pale beige and embroidered with ducks in flight. Wearing a kimono would require the assistance of the maids, which were already busy serving the trays of food. The smell made my mouth water, but years of practice and etiquette tempered my vigour.

As I ate, I watched everyone else every now and then. The Lords and Ladies chatted amongst each other, and likewise as did I. They complemented me on my cooking which was gradually improving. I tried to add my own flair here and there, but I was severely lacking in ingredients, namely Chinese peppercorns and chillies. Japanese food was no doubt absolutely wonderful, extremely healthy and astoundingly aesthetic to the eyes.

But it was bland. There were no chillies nor spices, nor herbs.

I stared down at my small bowl of miso soup, missing my mother's cooking. It was an old ache, but an ache nonetheless.

However, I did start to wonder something else. Of course I knew that there was a great deal of trade between Japan and Korea and China. Despite my years here now, I had yet to actually encounter a trader from China in person. Perhaps they were more common in Inabayama? I would have to ask Mitsuhide about it one day.

The silks, teas and jade from China were still widely discussed and treated as treasures worth hefty prices. But word now was more focused on the firearms brought over by shipwrecked Portuguese. It my memory served me correctly, it had happened in 1542. The firearms were becoming more popular now and I knew Mitsuhide was interested in getting his hands on one.

My thoughts travelled a lot during the meal, occasionally brought back by Mitsuhisa or Lady Akechi. Chigusa was unusually quiet. She was quiet always, but tonight she seemed somewhat awkward, as best as I could tell. She refused to look at Mitsuhide nor at myself. She even looked to be quite stiff. Her usual grace was marred by a slight shaking of her hands.

I frowned slightly. Was she alright? It was very unlike her. I thought about asking, but held my tongue to save her the embarrassment. If one was feeling unwell then they would usually excuse themselves. Better that than have someone else notice, was what I found to their behaviour. It did not just seem to be a Japanese thing either. In general people of the medieval ages were far more conservative in nature.

I did wonder if maybe it had something to do with Mitsuhide? They were both sat opposite each other and Chigusa was careful to keep her eyes downcast. There was no way she would suddenly show fear. She did not seem to fear anything. Her attitude reminded me of a Spanish bull.

Maybe it was shyness instead? She was supposed to start showing some form of fancy towards her cousin, despite her stoic persona. Perhaps they had been talking between each other and she had finally come to realise she liked him?

I glanced at Mitsuhide. He seemed blissfully unaware as he was deep in conversation with his uncle Mitsuyasu beside him. Therefore I turned by gaze back to Chigusa, only to catch her watching me. When our eyes met, she quickly looked back down again, but a flush blossomed her cheeks.

It reminded me of Hiroko's first meeting with me as well when she had mistaken me for being a man.

I tilted my head to the side in puzzlement, pondering. Was I doing something odd to make them look at me like I was an alien?

Then again, in actuality, I probably was an alien, considering my background and era. I shrugged and chuckled softly to myself.

"What is so amusing?" Mitsunobu asked from my other side.

"Just some stray thoughts, and the irony of them," I said with humour.

xxxxx

After the trays had been cleared away, everyone went to do their own things. The Lady Akechi returned to her quarters, the Lords including Mitsunobu, stayed behind to drink. Chigusa had excused herself earlier, Mitsuhide declined his uncles' invitations to join them for a drink and went to take a bath, and I headed back to my rooms to collect the box of documents I had been working on.

I also needed a bath, especially to wash the smell of cooking from my hair, but I would do that later. As I walked, I wondered if Chigusa was alright. Over this winter I felt like I had certainly come to know her. I was still wary. First impressions always stick and the one I had of her was not a good one. Nevertheless, I had come to deduce she was simply ignorant and needed someone to show her there was a world beyond her own interests. She seemed to have improved in her prejudice. Insisting I listen to her play the shamisen was perhaps the greatest example of her ability to open up.

Therefore it was perhaps because of my initial impression of her and her behaviour, that it then made this evening's behaviour very odd.

As I walked down the veranda, one of the slides was open with candle light spilling out over the garden. I glanced in as I passed. It was empty, and I expected as much. But I recognised Chigusa's shamisen at the far end, lying dangerously close to the lamp and brazier, which was open. It was not too difficult to imagine Chigusa not realising the lamp was supposed to be shut.

Therefore with a sigh, I stepped into the room to move the lamp and the brazier away. Last thing anyone needed was a beautiful instrument setting on fire and perhaps even starting a fire throughout the castle.

The clack of the screen shutting behind me snapped me out of my casual mentality instantly and I spun around, half expecting someone to attack me from behind after trapping me in the room.

However, it was no assassin standing by the closed screen. In fact, it was Chigusa.

"Chigusa-hime." I blinked in surprise, but I did not completely step out of the stance I automatically fell in to. "I hope you are well. You did not return to your rooms?"

She shook her head, her hands tightly clasped. There was a strange tension to the air and I was not sure how to interpret it. It was impossible she would attack me. Maybe it was something else. She was behaving strangely earlier after all.

"Are you well, Chigusa-hime?" I asked cautiously. "You did not seem your usual self this evening at dinner."

"I . . ." She took a few steps closer. I took a step back, but tried to turn it into looking nonchalant as I knelt down to try and pick up the shamisen. I had to glance down to ensure I didn't stick my hand onto the burning coals of the brazier, but that glance down turned out to be a mistake, as Chigusa took the opportunity to disappear and reappear right in front of me. It caught me off guard and I recoiled back onto my elbow. When I looked up, she was right there, on all fours, over me with flushed cheeks again.

"I – I like you!" She blurted out.

The initial danger I felt, vaporised like a puff of smoke. Her words rang in the air, and I stared at her, stunned.

That's impossible, I thought stupidly. Surely I misheard her.

"I . . . I hate the fact that you are not of noble blood, like us. And I hate that you treat everyone around you as if you yourself are not a Lord and Lady. But – but it's your disappointment which hurts the most. I . . . I want you to look at me, and only me. I feel different when I am in your presence. It feels tight, in my chest, like I can't breathe. I want you to feel the same way, about me."

I continued to stare at her, and it took a few seconds for me to realise I was also slightly gaping, so I smacked my lips shut. It was my turn to feel my heart thunder in my chest as I finally understood what must have happened.

In history, it was supposed to have been Mitsuhide who got pushed into the room by Chigusa and received her confession. But in this reality, it had not been Mitsuhide at all. He was somewhere in the bathhouse taking a bath.

It was me who got cornered into a room and confessed to.

Why me?!

But then, I had to think of it from Chigusa's perspective. I was ten years her senior, tall and able to look like both a man and a woman. Most of my interactions with her had been as a man. It was as a man I had scolded her, being possibly the first one ever to do so. I was also the only one aside from her father – ironically enough – who spent time with her over the winter listening to her play and therefore talk to her like a normal human being, rather than as a princess.

I kicked myself tenfold. I should have been more careful, dressed up more like a woman. Chiyo had been the same. But I just never thought anyone could fall for me. Why would they?

Chigusa trembled, and I forced the babble of my thoughts to quieten. Before me was an adolescent who believed she was possibly in love. And against all her training and beliefs and pride in herself, she had swallowed all of that to confess. Right now, she was vulnerable. Her guard was down. Indeed she had come a long way from the arrogant ice princess I had first met at the beginning of winter.

I exhaled softly, releasing the tension from my body as I wondered how on earth I was going to fix this. I was still stunned, flattered even, and the heat in my own cheeks was testimony to that. But I had no such feelings I could return.

Taking Chigusa's shoulders, I gently pushed her back and sat in front of her properly, without half lying on my backside. I took one of her hands in mine and sighed. She did not pull back.

"Chigusa-hime," I said gently and carefully. "I am honestly very surprised, and honoured, by your confession. But, I am sorry, I cannot return those feelings."

She looked like she had been stung upon the last sentence and she withdrew her hand.

"But look at me," I said, reaching out anyway, but this time cupped her face instead to force her gaze to return. "You have changed a lot since the time I first met you. You have become more thoughtful, more open, and those are such precious skills and traits to have."

She blinked, her eyes moist with tears.

"Unfortunately, as great of a gift you are, I am not the one who is meant to receive and keep you. However, there will be someone out there who is meant for you. Fate determines one partner to the soul for eternity. Some come sooner than others, and some came later than others. But we are all promised that one special person. And you will know it in here," I motioned over her heart, "when you meet that person."

Chigusa slumped back and I could tell she was desperately trying to hold her tears back. I reach out to her and wrapped my arms around her. She stiffened in my arms and I smiled as I rubbed her back.

"Where I come from," I said softly, "we embrace each other when someone is upset. It shows our love through friendship and family, to console them and to let them know that despite things not going how we want them to, there is still love and care around us."

I felt her tentatively relax in my arms, then felt her shoulders droop as she sighed, and heard her sniffle, only once. But it was enough.

"Do you promise?" I heard her whisper.

"Promise what?"

She pulled back, carefully wiping away a few stray tears from beneath her eyes. "Do you promise there is someone out there for me? I can't imagine encountering anyone as honourable as you have been."

"My dear Chigusa-hime," I said lightly, pulling out a handkerchief for her to use. "Of course there is someone out there for you. You will just have to be patient. All good things come to those who wait."