This oneshot takes place in 1921, during the Outsourcing strips where Liet is staying at America's house. This scene takes place the night where Alfred asks Lithuania to sleep in the bed with him because he's afraid of ghosts (in canon)

There are references here to the Polish-Lithuanian War. You can read my fic about that war and Toris's relationship with Feliks in WWII in my short fic, Don't Let Me Die. In my headcanon, Ivan was actually kind to Toris when he first became part of the Russian Empire. You can read about this in my letter fic, Venice of the North.


Lithuania slept in the far wing of Alfred's house.

Alfred had offered a better room – there were plenty to spare – but for some reason Lithuania had said no, he'll take the far room.

This is why, when Lithuania flung aside the sheets to stagger into the bathroom, it was the first time Alfred had noticed. Had Lithuania been any closer to his bedroom, he would have heard the choking gasp and rapid crash as Lithuania nearly fell out of bed, the moans of agony that echoed from the bathroom, and the splatters of something wet and thick against the tub.

It all happened so fast, Alfred didn't have time to react. "What the hell," he gasped, throwing aside the sheets and running after Lithuania down the hall. "Lithuania, are you okay?"

"Y-yes," came the weak answer from the bathroom. It broke with a high-pitched whimper.

"Uh, no, you're not," Alfred corrected. He was certain Lithuania was throwing up.

"Th-this happens sometimes," Lithuania wheezed. "It'll go awa – hgh!"

Alfred wasn't going to stand for this. He opened the bathroom door and flicked on the lights.

He froze.

Lithuania knelt by the bathtub, clinging to the side as blood dripped from his mouth.

"Holy shit, a-are you being invaded or something!?"

"I… I already was… hhh…." Lithuania's stomach lurched and more red saliva dripped into the tub in dark red splotches. "V… Vilnius…"

"Is there anything I can do?"

"J…just… gh… water…"

Alfred ran into the kitchen. He didn't realize his hands were shaking until he grabbed a glass from the cabinet.

He said this happens sometimes… so this has been going on for awhile? If it's Vilnius, maybe even before he got here? Is that why he wanted the far room? Why didn't he tell me before!?

The kitchen was far enough that Alfred was breathless by the time he returned. "Here," he said, holding out the water. Lithuania took it with pale, shaking fingers, and drank it in loud gulps. When he set it down again, bright red droplets zigzagged down the glass.

"I… I think it's over…" Lithuania fell back onto the tile, his neck craned to look up at the ceiling. His brow shimmered with sweat, and he closed his eyes with the flickering of pain. Bloody lips curled up in a trembling smile. "S-sorry you had to see that."

Alfred's heart was still thundering in his chest. He had never seen a nation act like this, outside of war.

Lithuania seemed to understand his shock. He reached up with shaking fingers to unbutton his nightshirt. Alfred's eyes widened when he saw the glistening scar tissue over his heart.

"Oh my god…"

"Feliks stabbed me." Lithuania smiled a chilling smile. Alfred felt like he was truly seeing the savagery of Eastern Europe for the first time. He remembered being shocked upon meeting Lithuania, thinking this timid, kind man couldn't possibly come from the origins he had read about. But now, Lithuania looked like a wounded wolf ready to lash out at anyone who dared get in his way.

"It still hasn't healed. Has your capital ever been occupied?"

Alfred blinked to try to pay attention to Lithuania's words. "Uh… yeah. Not for long, though. Hurt like hell." Somehow he felt it tactless to show Lithuania his own scar, as if his suffering from the War of 1812 could even compare with what was happening in Vilnius.

"It feels like there's a parasite growing inside of me. It always hurts. Some days I can ignore it. But my body rejects it, so I end up hacking blood all over your bathroom. I didn't want to tell you because there's no cure for it."

Alfred nodded.

"When I see Feliks again, I'm going to kill him." The words were said with the certainty of a skilled assassin. No remorse, no conflict. A simple fact.

This… couldn't be the same Lithuania Alfred had come to know over the past month? The one who smiled, apologized for every English mistake, seemed to laugh so easily and freely, to hold none of the bitterness Alfred had felt from so many European nations in the past?

Is all of that just a mask? Is he always pretending?

"You're looking at me like I'm a stranger."

"I… I'm sorry…" Alfred didn't know how to put into words how he was feeling. As if he was betrayed somehow.

"America," Lithuania smiled, and with those green eyes and a glint of madness in them, Alfred could have sworn it was England talking. "We're nations. What would we be without our secrets?"

Alfred offered a hand and helped Lithuania up. "Come on," he grunted, feeling the sweat beneath Lithuania's night shirt as he leaned onto him for support. He barely weighed anything.

Lithuania washed his face, swirling water in his mouth and spitting it out until it was clear. He didn't protest as Alfred walked him back to the bedroom.

He must be in a lot of pain. Alfred felt like such an idiot for not noticing before. Was Lithuania that good at hiding it, or was he just oblivious? Taking the warm smiles and laughs at face value – had over a century of knowing European powers taught him nothing?

Lithuania muttered a quiet 'thanks' as Alfred helped him into bed. "I must not be good at protecting you from ghosts," he smiled weakly.

Alfred was starting to see a pattern. Lithuania smiled after he threw up. He smiled when he said he would kill Poland. He smiled when declaring himself weak. It was starting to remind Alfred of another Eastern nation he knew. Lithuania lived with Russia for a long time, didn't he? He's never even mentioned it.

"You don't have to stay with me, if you don't want to," Lithuania said as he slipped his legs under the covers. "I'll be fine."

"Lithuania… what you said about secrets – I…" Alfred wasn't sure how to word this. "I… don't want our relationship to be like that."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want you to think of me as someone you have to hide anything from. I… I want to be there for you, even through the hard parts." He felt so stupid saying it. Alfred had never spoken to another nation this way.

Lithuania held him in a skeptical gaze. Alfred suddenly felt so young. Of course it was stupid. How could he ever understand what an ancient power had been through? "I know I'm young," he kept going. What are you saying, you idiot, shut up! "I hate it when you Europeans point it out, and you haven't yet, which is… um." Shut up, shut up! "...well anyway, I know that I'm young; it's a fact. And maybe I don't understand suffering the way you do, and maybe I haven't seen the things you have seen. But I can try to understand them, if that… helps."

Now Lithuania looked utterly confused. "You understanding my suffering would help… how?"

"I don't know. It would help me know you better. It would help me know how to be a better friend to you."

Lithuania blinked. "Friend?"

The word struck a chord. "Yes," Alfred said quickly. "I… I see you as a friend. And I want to help you, more than just giving you work or a place to stay."

"You're not my friend." The sentence felt like a slap to the face. There was a sharpness in Lithuania's voice that Alfred had never heard before.

"Lithua – "

"I don't even know you. I came here to work for you. You've been very kind to me, and I'm grateful for that. But we are two nations taking part in a deal our bosses set up with no more intention than economic gain."

"W-well it may have started that way, but – "

"You're a sweet boy, America, I can see that in you. You can do a lot of good in the world; maybe this world needs someone like you, who will do the right thing. But I can't – " Lithuania's voice broke suddenly. He scrubbed his face and muttered something in Lithuanian. "I can't do 'friends' anymore, America, I'm sorry."

"Is that because Poland was your friend?"

First shock, then anger. "You should go, America."

"Look – I understand that, I've been betrayed before, that's why I don't exactly have any friends at the moment, because I don't trust anyone, either! But you – you're different, I trust you, and I've never felt that way, about anyone before!"

"America – "

"Do you trust me?"

"What a ridiculous question – "

"Do you trust me?"

Lithuania looked up, and Alfred saw tears shimmering in the darkness. When Lithuania finally spoke, his voice was small and cracked: "Yes. B-but I don't know why." Alfred took a breath, but Lithuania cut him off, "Please go now."

Alfred stood up from the mattress. "You don't have to get up early tomorrow. Take the day off."

Lithuania said nothing. And as Alfred left the room and closed the door, he felt that maybe – just maybe – he had a chance to start chipping away at this wounded knight's masks.

~/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/~

You are my only friend.

We're going to be together forever, right Liet!?

I can't let you be independent.

You're NOTHING without me!

Toris bent over and clawed at his hair. As much as he hated it, hot tears dripped down his nose and onto the sheets.

"No," he whispered. "No, no, no. I can't risk it again. I'm not going through this shit again. America is my employer. Nothing more. H-he's a child, he knows nothing, he – "

Hey, Lithuania! Did you have a good trip? That's great!

"No…"

Toris didn't even think he cried this much since he won his independence. Why couldn't he stop crying?

He had never felt so alone. He wanted intimacy but he hated intimacy. He gave people the power to hurt him over and over again and each time they did. He wanted to be friends with America, so much that his chest hurt, and it wasn't just the scar. Toris felt, at that moment, if he didn't have a friend, he was going to scream.

But if he dared… to even use that word, 'friend,' to even begin to think of America that way, was he just dooming himself to be abused again?

Ivan was nice until he wasn't… Feliks was nice until he wasn't… how… how do I tell the difference!? Wh-what do I do!?

And so, left without an answer, Toris clutched a pillow to his face and cried for the first time since the war.


History Notes

Polish-Lithuanian War:
After the end of WWI, the Polish and Lithuanian armies worked together to fight against advancing Soviet Forces. Poland didn't recognize Lithuania's independence and wanted to re-establish a union similar to that of the Commonwealth. They also refused to leave the Vilnius region, claiming that the majority of its inhabitants were Polish. In 1919 Poland attempted a coup of the Lithuanian government, but it failed. Tensions heightened when Lithuania signed a treaty with the Soviets, allowing for free troop movement within their borders to help the Soviets fight Poland. Poland accused the Lithuanian government of being a Soviet puppet, while Lithuania claimed they were only defending their borders. With pressure from the League of Nations, an armistice was signed on November 29, 1920. Poland retained control of Vilnius, which Lithuania refused to recognize. There were no diplomatic relations between Poland and Lithuania until 1938, when Poland demanded relations be reestablished to protect against Nazi invasion.

Since Lithuania had won independence from Russia but failed to completely gain all the territory back from Poland, I always thought Toris would be much more controlled by his emotional and physical scars from the Polish-Lithuanian war than any fear he still had of Ivan. So while he worked at America's house, Alfred had to deal with that aftermath.

The White House and other important buildings in Washington, D.C. were burned down by British soldiers during the War of 1812. The fire only lasted one night, and many were put out by a hurricane that blew rains into the region. British occupation of Washington lasted about 26 hours.