Woah! I'm so sorry for not updating in so long. I hope you didn't forget about this crazy story ;)
Kitz: I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, we're looking forward to watch that date in season4... :)
Crazytime000: Thank you!
Also, I want to thank AnnieRavenclaw707, my fantastic beta reading! Thank you very very much! :)
Chapter 17: Vietnam (Part I)
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Hopper ran like hell, he couldn't even look where his feet were leading him, but anywhere was better than what he left behind. He didn't know how he had come back there, and at that time, it was not his top priority because he was running for his life. As always, in recent months.
The air was beginning to run out in his lungs, resentful, and damaged. The atmosphere of that place would end up killing him if the monster that was chasing him did not do it before. He kept running until his feet lost his balance, and his body staggered to meet the end of the road. The edge of a cliff gave him an ungrateful welcome. Holy shit.
His sight was not enough to see the bottom of the ravine and no alternative way either. That was it. Still panting, he looked ahead, to the desolate world of the Upside-Down, so dark and yet so sinisterly recognizable. Disheartened, he turned around. The shadow monster had reached him. There was no escape.
"There never was one," He heard the shadow speak in his head. "You think you have escaped, but you never did. You'll never escape…"
"Hopper!" A voice called him. His eyes opened at once, and he found himself panting heavily. His mind tried to remember where he was. Safe at Joyce's house, thank God. Two enormous brown eyes were looking at him, shinning. "I can't believe it. You fell asleep!" El laughed in his lap. They had dozen off together, he more than her, on the couch.
Oh, shit. The Miami Vice music was sounding on the background. The girl was so excited to watch the new episode together. She had practically crossed out the days on the calendar, like a countdown. And yes, he had embarrassedly fallen asleep. And no, it hadn't even been a good dream.
"I'm sorry. Was it a good episode?"
The girl looked tenderly at him "The best," El never thought she would see an episode with him again. Hopper put his arm over her and pulled the girl closer. "Well, maybe you can tell me how it ended?"
"That will have to wait. If we don't leave now, we'll be late for the cinema." Jonathan stated, taking the car keys.
"Cinema?" Hopper stared at the older Byers boy. He didn't know anything about that plan, and that irritated him. Jonathan seemed to shun his gaze, shrugging. It felt prepared, and they had not counted on him at all.
"Yes!" Will shouted excitedly. "Mum bought us tickets to go see the new Indiana Jones movie, isn't it great?"
Joyce left the kitchen upon hearing the commotion. "Yes. And if you don't hurry, you will have a line to buy popcorn. Do you carry everything necessary, Jonathan?"
"For the millionth time, yes, everything is ready." They said in unison.
"Please, don't forget to phone when you get to the Thompsons house, ok?" Joyce told, acting like a mother-hen.
"Yes, yes..." Will said, running towards the car, followed by El. Jonathan was the last to leave the house, and before doing so, he looked at his mother, she grinned and nodded, then the boy looked at Hopper and said goodbye almost with shame before closing the door.
"What the hell was that? To the house of the Thompsons? Who the hell are the Thompsons?" Hopper asked, quite annoyed. On the one hand, he was worried about the kids going out alone, and on the other hand, he was terrified of not knowing his daughter's last habits. Had she changed them so much in recent months? Was that normal?
"Relax. The Thompsons are the parents of Ted, a friend from school. They are good people. They will have a fun night."
"School? Wait! Will they sleep outside?!" Hopper exclaimed, alarmed. His facet of protective bear began to rise levels. Too much information for him.
"Yes, Hop. Yes. It's Friday, and they are young, they have to have fun." Joyce replied. As if that were the perfect answer.
"Joyce! Precisely because it's Friday, anything could happen! Do you know how many horrible things happen on weekends?!" His face was a poem. The most dramatic one ever written.
"For heaven's sake, Hopper. Don't worry! The Thompsons only live a couple of blocks from here, and Jonathan will be with them all the time." She replied, almost laughing.
Joyce had always quite liked the overprotective streak of Hopper over El. Sometimes it was annoying but cute. She could still remember when he called her, extremely worried, or appeared in Melvald's store, only to rant about the Miller's boy. What did he call him? Oh, yes. The perverted puny catastrophe.
Hopper crossed his arms, lying on the couch. Maybe she was right, and he was worrying too much. He just wanted to be sure that the girl would be fine, that was all. Besides, he didn't understand why Joyce was looking at him that way. Wait a moment, did she have lipstick on her lips? And when she had changed clothes?
"Also, I have a surprise for you." She spoke, smiling like a schoolgirl, before disappearing back into the kitchen. "I have prepared a different dinner."
"Joyce, you don't need to..." He began to say when the woman appeared with a tray of dishes and a bottle of wine. "Oh." Yep. He was stunned.
Hopper looked at the plate in front of him and raised an eyebrow. It was a meal too posh. Joyce was not like that, not even close. His taste buds had been so disgusted in recent months, that also a grilled shoe would have tasted delicious for them, however that meal. A knot began to form in his stomach. Everything clicked in his head. Holy shit. He thought immediately. It was not necessary to be Sherlock Holmes to solve the case.
Joyce had taken care of the children spending the night outside. They were alone. Posh dinner. Friday. Oh, my God. No! Hopper opened his eyes wide and glanced at Joyce, trying to find an explanation. It was not the time, nor the place, and she. Shit. She was smiling. And it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. His eyes felt on the plate, and suddenly his stomach stopped being hungry. It felt sick.
"Enzo's," His lips let out that word, like a curse.
"I think we've waited a long for this. So, since you're still not able to go out, I guess this is a good idea."
Hopper ran his hands over his face. He was not ready for that.
Joyce realized that he didn't correspond in her effusiveness. "You do not like it? I can prepare something else. I think that there may be something in the fridge."
"Joyce. It's not that," he exhaled with sorrow. "We need to talk."
The four damn words. We need to talk. When someone says that, it is never good at all. Their eyes met. The Brown hopes against bluish sadness.
Hopper cursed the universe, because the stars were against him, without leaving him alone for at least a couple more days, he only asked for that, a couple more days in a bubble of tranquility!
Suddenly, the phone rang, and he was relieved to postpone that conversation. What he didn't know was that that call would rush everything instead of delaying anything. He hadn't finished fitting the situation, mentally searching for an escape, when Joyce hung up the call.
She stared at the device long enough to try to regain the ability to speak. "It was from Gary." She finally said.
Of course. Hopper swore, almost listening in his brain as the bubble of tranquility made pop.
She put her hands on her hips. "So, when were you going to tell me?"
"I didn't think Gary would be so fast." He was starting to hate that guy. "I expected it to take at least a couple of weeks." He confessed.
Joyce sat in front of him and withdrew her plate. She had just lost her appetite too.
"Why?" She asked, still unable to look at him. The question was straight and clear.
He could have had a simple answer. But nothing was ever easy for them.
"Well, as the mind flayer shattered my cabin, I think it's normal to be looking for a new house, don't you think?"
"In Hawkins." Joyce practically spat the name of the town in disgust, and still restrained herself from adding: Three hundred and fifty miles from me.
Hopper sighed profoundly. Why him? Why was he always who had to lose? "Joyce, I…" He hesitated, seeking to search the correct words. He didn't mean to hurt her, but the damage was already there.
A sense of deja vu enveloped her. She had already lived that same experience, twenty years ago. The shadow of Vietnam's farewell was there. And she was not going to go through it. Not again, not ever.
And, to be honest, Joyce was tired of being patient. "Don't run away, Hop. Not again." There, she had finally said it. And she was relieved that after all those years she had gotten it out of her system.
Joyce had just dropped a bomb and hoped he would respond by exploding it, but he didn't. The sudden silence disturbed her.
"I can't believe that you, from all the people in this world, are saying this to me." Those were hard words, and yet she would have preferred him to shout them or even use an ironic tone, but no, it was much worse. Hopper felt hurt. "Oh, Joyce. If you think that I'm running away, you just don't understand anything at all."
"I want to!" She yelled in frustration. "But you just, don't talk to me, Hop. I'm not a pythoness. I can't guess what you think." She tried to calm down, for the sake of both of them. "Hop, I want to help you. But I need to understand, and I can't do that if you don't open up. Just be honest with me, because I think I deserve it."
Fair enough, he considered. After all, putting up a front wasn't an option, not this time.
"I was about to die, several times. Back in Vietnam. It was..." He shocked his head. "It doesn't matter. That was a long time ago." His voice diminished as if coming from a distance. "But you know, life gave me a second chance, and I took it. I left there and decided to return to the only place I knew I would be safe. Hawkins." He chuckled ironically. "But when something good happens to you, it's never free. It always has a price." His voice stopped before continuing, searching in her eyes. "Do you want me to be honest, Joyce?"
A gulp went down her throat. She didn't know what to expect. "Always."
"On the way back, I couldn't bear to see you with Lonnie, and I couldn't do anything either, and you were so… pregnant. Do you think I left because I was running away? No, Joyce. I left because it was the best for both of us. I swear that if I stayed, I was losing it. It felt like a constant stab!"
"Hop,"
"No, Joyce. Shut up!" She had opened Pandora's box and had to bear the consequences. "I went to New York. You already know that. And life gave me another chance. I took it, why not? Joyce, I swear that for the first time in my life, I was happy. I had a wonderful wife, Diane, and an angel called Sara. But again, I had to pay the highest price." He shut his eyes while clenching his lips.
Many years had passed since that loss, and yet the mention of the little girl kept bleeding his heart. Another vicious stab, committed with extreme cruelty. Right in the middle of his chest. The knife remained inside him, twisting.
Joyce felt a lump in her throat, she almost lost Will two years ago and couldn't even imagine what would have happened to her if they hadn't finally been able to save him.
"A part of me died in New York. And yes, then I ran away. And I took refuge in the only place that might remind me of better times. Hawkins. And you know what? Life gave me another fucking chance." Now he was shouting, not at her, but at the universe, God, or whatever you want to call it. "And could you guess what I did? Yeah," He laughed madly. "I was so damn naive, desperate, and stupid, that I committed the same error. All over again!"
All that pain and misery made her blink away tears. She was relieved that he had stopped looking at her a while ago. One of the two had to remain strong.
"That was when I took care of El. I won't deny that it was complicated. But that kid, step by step, help me to feel alive again. I started to be happy." A sad smile appeared on his lips. "And then Starcourt passed, and the Russians."
"Hop, that's over." She dared to reply, putting her hand on his.
"I know. But now life gives me another chance." This time his eyes not shied away and locked on hers. "And I can't take it. Not this time. Not anymore. My duty
is above any..." He trailed off, unsure of his own words.
"Attempt to be happy?" She ended it for him, just as his hand moved away from hers.
"I have a duty of care for El. If something happened to her, it would be the last stab I could bear. I will never get up again. Joyce, I'm fed up, tired and exhausted. I have to go back home with my daughter. For me, it is the only important thing, and I hope you can understand it. Not today, not tomorrow, but I know that one day you will understand."
Joyce couldn't breathe. That atmosphere overwhelmed her. She got up, and without a word, rushed out the door, in need of fresh air.
Hopper exhaled when he heard the door slammed and laid his head on the back of the sofa, growling. Nothing was ever simple with Joyce Byers. He felt a hole after that conversation, a deep black hole that he didn't know if he could one day fill again.
Joyce looked ahead, a car passed by next to her house. Her gaze followed it. Yes, that was their lives, tumbling down the road, and disappearing into the darkness. Also, it was the second cigar, as her mind kept trying to process what had happened. That night didn't have to end like that. It couldn't end like that!
She traveled in time to that crazy night, twenty years ago. Vietnam's farewell night was happening all over again.
Previously, only a few days before, Hopper was notified that his father had died in combat in Vietnam's war. Instead of doing what anyone would have done, taking your pain and accept the decoration of the army, he didn't. He imposed on himself the duty to finish what his father started. To her, it seemed great foolishness. Joyce took a drag on the cigarette. At that time, She didn't know him enough.
Now she realized who that man was. Hopper always put his loved ones first, his convictions above his physical integrity. Damn you, Hop. She still remembered the stupidity he had committed a year ago when he decided to explore the tunnels under Hawkins, alone. Why had he done such idiocy? Now she had the answer. Hopper was used to dealing with his problems alone. Forever Alone. She blew smoke from her lungs, still remembering those anguish moments, rescuing him from vines.
"Are you ok?" She asked him, horrified. He never answered that question.
Life had beaten him several times, but he was a born fighter, he never gave up. Until now. The last experience had left him mortally wounded, and that wound was not going to heal, not if he decided to continue fighting alone. She understood his reasons but did not share them.
Yes. He would protect El. But for how long? El would stop being a girl, and sooner or later, much to his regret, she would start a life on her own, and he would be left alone again.
Joyce was not going to allow Vietnam to repeat itself. They could not spend another twenty years to make the right decision. No. She was not going to allow it. Curiously, it passed the same car as five minutes ago, in front of her house. Maybe it was a divine sign.
"No more." She threw the cigarette with a desition and went back into the house. That night wasn't over. Not yet.
To be continued.
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