Chapter 17
In the middle of the night, Luke snuck past Chewbacca to visit the Falcon.
It had been almost a week since the girl arrived, and at first, he couldn't bring himself to go back to it. There were too many memories of it with Han and his sister.
But tonight, something called him there.
He knew where the switch was to turn on all the lights in the cockpit.
It whirred to life with the familiar bloop that Luke knew so well. He glanced along the ceiling, noticing the die of Han's was still hanging over the visor.
He reached for them now, something he hadn't been allowed to touch in the past. Carrying them in the hand without a glove, he sat down by the old chess board, and thought about Han's smile, and how much he missed him.
That is until he heard the bleep bloop of a droid.
He lifted his hood off of his head immediately. "R2?"
The little droid wiggled with happiness and wooed at him excitedly.
"R2!" Luke said smiling, and the little droid rolled over to say hello.
He immediately started bloop-bleeping in a rush, trying to recap what was going on in the resistance, how everyone had been looking for him, and how much trouble they'd gone through to find him, and how excited he was that he'd had the final piece of the map that the resistance needed to find him.
And then of course it turned to wondering what in the world Luke had been doing all this time, and where he'd been hiding during the war, and of course some swearing.
"Hey sacred Island," Luke said, "Watch the language."
Finally, the droid chirped softly, calming down.
The message was clear. "I missed you."
Luke smiled sadly. "Old friend," he cooed at him. "I wish I could make you understand. But I'm not coming back."
IF R2 had a face like a human, Luke knew he'd be frowning at him.
"Nothing can make me change my mind," Luke said firmly.
But never underestimate a droid.
R2 turned slightly to the left and turned on his projector.
And a blast from the past it was.
"Years ago, you served my father in the clone wars."
Oh Leia, Luke thought, his heart immediately filling with love and longing. How beautiful she'd always been. The first time he'd ever heard her voice.
She'd really looked like a princess, straight out of a story.
"Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the empire."
Luke glared at R2. "That was a cheap move," he said grumpily, but it was working.
History was repeating itself. A young girl was coming to him for help, against a great force of evil.
Was he really the only hope the resistance had? Or was it time for a new generation to take up the mantel?
Leia had once again sent a message, in the form of Rey Palpatine, of all people. A message asking him for help. The girl's words echoed in his mind.
"Leia sent me here with hope."
"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi," Leia's hologram said. "You're my only hope." The message dissolved back into the past, from whence it came.
Luke looked over at R2, nodding in compliance. "Alright. I'll help the girl."
~.~
Kylo wasn't sure what time it was in the common sense. It was easy to lose track of "time" when you weren't on a planet with a sunrise and a sunset. But he got the sense it was the early hours of the morning. The halls of the star destroyer, which normally clamored with the echo of stormtroopers marching and vocal commands releasing static over loudspeakers and communicators wasn't present, jut the gentle hum of machinery and steady operation beeps of cleaner droids whizzing by.
It was peaceful, for once.
Despite the peace, Kylo's mind was anything but rested.
He'd barely slept, and despite his best efforts, she still consumed his thoughts.
She didn't even remember him. He had no responsibility to protect her anymore, and she'd clearly done well enough on her own. She'd had lonely, cold nights of crying herself to sleep, just as he'd feared, but she was no longer a child.
He hated the idea of her being with Luke again, the master who had betrayed them both, but there was nothing he could do anymore to hurt her. Her mind was strong, maybe even strong enough to dissolve the block on her memories. She'd even bested him in a match of power.
That moment in the interrogation room, when they'd locked eyes for the first time since that night…he fell in love with her all over again. She'd hurt him, she'd made him face his worst fear, and she'd challenged him at every turn. She'd helped him grow. She'd always helped him grow.
He couldn't be the man she'd wanted him to be anymore. That future no longer belonged to him. He lost it the moment he lost her.
This thought played itself in his mind over and over, as medical droids mindlessly worked on the wounds she'd inflicted on his face.
Part of him wanted to keep them. A permanent, physical reminder that she'd marked him forever. But there wasn't any room in the First Order for sentiment like that.
His thoughts were jarred suddenly by a loud hum. Almost a…buzzing.
He glanced around the room, and at the droids repairing his skin.
It wasn't coming from either of them.
Not the machinery in the infirmary, either.
He pushed away the skin droid absent-mindedly, trying to focus on the buzzing.
It was becoming louder.
~.~
Ever since Rey had arrived on Ahch-To, she slept better than she had in her life. Maybe it was the lull of the ocean waves at the foot of the cliffs, or the soft, comforting chirps of the porgs, the native wildlife that roamed everywhere on this island.
She rested peacefully in her own yurt, no nightmares in sight.
But she was having a lot of vivid dreams. She'd always had ones of an island, green and surrounded by sapphire waters but now the dreams were coming into focus, and she was noticing little details that hadn't been there before.
She was always holding someone's hand.
A boy's hand.
She blinked awake, the morning light starting to stream through her window. She was still a bit drowsy from sleep, but she felt warm and fuzzy. Comfortable.
Her guard was down.
Suddenly, there was this buzzing sound, like energy, that felt like a physical presence. It was getting stronger and felt more and more like a pull. But it was different from the pull she'd felt in the tree. That felt like the universe trying to speak to her.
This was more…distinctive. Specific. Familiar.
It made her look up.
And there, right in front of her, was Kylo Ren.
~.~
Kylo breathed heavier, his heart immediately racing a thousand lightyears a minute.
Was he hallucinating? No. No, he wasn't. Somehow, he knew he was seeing her, as she was, right in that moment.
She was wearing different clothes from before. He recognized the vest was one that his mother had worn once, when she was younger.
She looked cleaner, her hair was tied back in the same hairstyle shed kept since childhood, and her eyes were tired from sleep.
She'd just woken up.
She looked scared.
He blinked, and suddenly a blaster was being pointed in his face.
It went off, a sound he'd heard so many times and for a moment, he thought he was dead.
He felt the impact of a blast, but nothing happened.
He looked down at his torso, and he was fine. He didn't smell the familiar scent of burning flesh, or the coppery smell of blood.
He was fine.
And suddenly she was gone.
No. He wasn't losing her again.
Kylo stood up slowly out of the chair, looking around the room. She was…she'd been right in front of him. Where had she gone?
He left the infirmary, looking around aimlessly. Was she on the Destroyer? No, that didn't sound possible. He would've felt her presence miles away.
He followed the buzzing, sliding on the balls of his feet sideways in the hall, trying to recapture the mysterious connection.
A rat droid beeped as it skittered across the floor, but he paid it no mind, searching with his eyes and his heart for her presence.
And then he felt it again.
Behind him.
He turned around slowly, and once again the buzzing stopped and his ears filled with a silent noise, like being underwater.
She was glaring at him, like he was intruding. An unwelcome guest in her mind.
So, she still hated him, then.
He had to test if she was actually there.
Kylo said the first thing that came to mind, something that if he were caught by a passing soldier, would be acceptable for him to say. "You will bring Luke Skywalker to me," he stretched an arm out, commanding only half-heartedly with his mind. He'd barely put any force into the action.
Rey looked at him with annoyance and disbelief. She was breathing sharply, like she was trying to hold her composure.
This didn't make any sense. Kylo released his grip and lowered his arm. Was she force-projecting? Not just anyone could do that, especially not someone so inexperienced. "You're not doing this, the effort would kill you," he said out loud.
This was kind of…exciting.
He turned around, curiously, wondering about the limits of this form of communication. "Can you see my surroundings?" he asked.
Her voice was biting. "You're gonna pay for what you did," she snapped.
"I can't see yours," he admitted, wondering if it was the same.
He knew she was hurt. He knew she was in pain, and probably hated him. Even though she wanted to be a Jedi and Jedi weren't supposed to feel things like hate, or anger, or fear, or sadness…
Or love.
"Just you," he said gently, projecting nothing but care and comfort.
He could see some of her anger dissolving.
He still didn't understand how this was working. "So, no…" he mumbled, more to himself than to her. "This is something else." His voice echoed slightly in the force connection.
Kylo mostly felt just…happy. Happy to see her again, to know she was okay.
Even if she was unbelievably infuriated with him, which she had a right to be.
Their eyes were locked, until a sound echoed through the connection.
Like an opening door.
Rey turned around in reaction to the sound, before realizing her mistake, and looking back at Kylo again.
But he was already looking in the direction she'd just glanced in. "Luke?" he asked aloud, his eyes falling back on her, trying to gauge her reaction.
She turned towards the sound again.
And then she was gone.
Kylo already felt the emptiness returning, the void that formed when she'd left his life.
Seeing her again, the way his heart still reached out for her, and only wanted to speak to her when he'd had the chance…
He couldn't deny it anymore. Regardless of if he was on the side of the light or the dark, his loyalties were split.
There would come a time when he had a choice to make. But in truth, the battle between his heart and mind had already been fought. And won.
He glanced at himself in the reflection of the metallic wall of the ship, absently running a gloved hand over the scar on his face.
~.~
Luke approached his nephew, still curled up into a ball on the sand, clinging to his knees, as if he physically held himself tight enough, he could keep himself from falling apart.
Luke's heart filled with guilt. "Ben…" he began…bending down to him. He put a hand on his back, but Ben flinched and let out a whine like a wounded animal.
He hadn't spoken in hours.
The Jedi master, for the first time in his life, questioned whether or not he'd done the right thing. "Ben, she's going to be okay. She'll be safe."
Finally, as the sun was starting to rise over the horizon, Ben got onto his knees and gradually pulled himself up to a standing position. "Who is she?" He asked, his eyes red from crying.
Luke did his best to betray no emotion. But the padawan was wise beyond his years.
"She's not just anyone, is she?" he said with certainty, his expression betrayed. "You wouldn't go through this much trouble to keep her safe if she was just an ordinary force user."
"Ben you've been awake all night, you need rest," Luke tried to divert. "Take the day off from training – "
"– You didn't do it to protect her," he realized, taking a step back. "You did it to protect yourself."
"Ben, that's enough, you don't know what you're saying – "
– You're afraid of her," Ben's tone was disbelieving, his eyes wide with rage and understanding. Suddenly everything to him was clear. "Who is she?!" He asked one more time. "What could possibly make you fear a child?!"
Luke acted out of instinct, standing upright immediately and waving a hand over Ben's eyes. "You never saw her face," he said in a rush, thinking that this act would solve his problems.
For a moment, he closed his eyes with relief, knowing his nephew wouldn't have to feel this pain anymore. He could go back to being the smiling, happy boy that Han and Leia had made with love.
Luke opened his eyes, lowering his hand and breathing deeply.
His breath was stolen just as quickly.
The boy staring back at him had an expression of shock and fury.
Luke gasped. He'd never tried to wipe a memory from his nephew before, but normally on children it worked, for their minds were not fully developed, and therefore, impressionable.
But the eyes staring back at him were not that of a child.
It was a gaze that had seen the world, for the corrupt, broken mess it was, held together with stardust and the remnants of every war there ever was.
They were the eyes of a man.
He took a step backward.
"Ben –" Luke began, wanting to apologize a thousand times over, but the man had taken off into the night, the sound of his footsteps being swallowed by the crashing waves.
A Mysterious Connection Soundtrack
Andrew W.K. – Ready to Die
I Just Died In Your Arms – Hidden Citizens
Avenged Sevenfold – Almost Easy
Bishop Briggs – Like A River
Bring Me the Horizon – Throne
Christina Aguilera – Fighter
Evans Blue – A Cross and A Girl Named Blessed
Halestorm – Bad Romance
Fall Out Boy – The Last of the Real Ones
Kelly Clarkson – You Found Me
SVRCINA – Meet Me On The Battlefield
Lindsey Stirling feat. Lizzy Hale – Shatter Me
Styx – Come Sail Away
Van Halen – Why Can't This Be Love
Ariana Grande feat. John Legend – Tale As Old As Time
Daughtry – Learn My Lesson
Journey – Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)
Lindsey Stirling – Carol of The Bells
Taylor Davis – Star Wars Medley
Queen – Who Wants to Live Forever
Zendaya & Zac Efron – Rewrite the Stars
Rise Against – Satellite
Jaroslav Beck feat, Summer Haze – Escape
Apocalyptica feat. Lacey Strum – Broken Pieces
Ursine Vulpine ft. Annaca – Wicked Game
Miley Cyrus – When I Look At You
Perfume Genius – Slip Away
