I'll Live
I was not entirely too filled up with nervousness and anxiety of what was going to come and happen. Not so much that a bit in shocked awe at Sam's house was able to leak through. Can one call this a house even? It was more a mansion. Mansion for Manson.
Danny chuckled at me voicing that, face lighting up. "Nice! How have I never thought of that one?"
"There's another one?"
I was not sure if that was dismay or not. I was not too sure of where Tucker stood on Danny's insistence of him and I remaining friends. I don't think he was against it, but maybe holding back to wait and see how things would pan out? I watched him walking beside Danny just ahead of me. He shook his head. And I tried to figure out for sure, reading where he was at with this, but I think I was right in him being unsure as there was no strong emotions on him in any one sure direction.
Then Tucker gave a quick glance back at me and followed it up with, "Oh, Sam's not going to like that. She already gets annoyed enough the times I join Danny."
An aborted eye roll, faintest hint of a smile, eyebrows furrowing down a tad, fingers tapping along his leg. Tucker let out a breath, glancing off to the side. Away from Danny next to him. Looking toward a large painting of a soup can hanging on the wall. Which, that was...different.
"This way!"
Danny looked back at me, a grin on his face, beckoning me onward with a hand gesture and then sped up. Getting ahead of even Tucker. I hastened my pace for a moment, then slowed as I caught up with Tucker, realizing I didn't need to keep up with Danny to get to where we were going. I took my time to glance around, mentally preparing myself to... Well, I wasn't too sure for what exactly. Just...steeling myself for whatever may come. I hope.
Gleefully, Danny knocked and yanked open a door, cheerfully calling into the room. "We're here! All of us!"
Beside me, Tucker snorted. "Great," he muttered to himself.
It didn't take long for us to reach the door. And I found myself looking in and finding Sam's sour face settling into a fierce determination at seeing me. I ducked my head away. This was going to be difficult. Well, I was here. Amazingly, I had gotten permission to come. Permission of sorts. So...we'll see what happens. If whatever Sam had planned worked. Well, it would work. That's all there was to it. I was here and we'll see what happens.
Apparently, it boiled down to a 'let's get to know each other' or 'let's prove how much we know about each other and how you, Ashley, really don't and are not part of us'. Which if Sam was trying to make a point with that, it was on something I already knew. I wasn't really part of any group or anyone. There was no surprise there. So this whole thing was silly, even if I was surprised by how Sam decided to do it.
Truth or Dare. Really? It was so... Bad teenage movie cliché dramatic move? I didn't really... Well, I suppose I wouldn't know otherwise to that or what they usually did when hanging out. Besides, Danny appeared excited by it with his grin over at me, honestly excited and looking forward to the game. I blinked, a little surprised. Someone wanted to get to know me? He wanted...
Actually. I stopped, realizing. I guess that shouldn't be surprising coming from Danny.
Shrugging, I went along with it.
To what looked to be to Sam's annoyance, Danny started, piping the first choice to me.
"Truth." I chose.
"What's your favorite kind of music? You had a lot in your CD case."
"All of it? Whatever I feel like listening to. Um, I guess I don't have much country music..."
He blinked, then nodded with a smile. "Yeah, I don't think there was any in there."
Both Danny and Sam were on the same page. In that they kept asking me when it was their turns. Tucker did not ask me to choose on any of his turns, clearly trying to stay out of it, shaking his head at Danny when Sam gave him pointed looks whenever I answered one of her questions. Or her glares aimed at him in bouts of excitement to an answer of mine, carrying on a conversation or adding in his own thoughts to my answers. It was kind of amusing how oblivious Danny was to what Sam was trying to do, to see right before me of why Sam was annoyed by Danny to the point of being mad at him half the time as he had put it. Clearly not fully getting or seeing why she was. Poor Sam. I felt for Sam a bit, understanding some of that. Danny was...
I answered her questions as straightforward and simply as I could, not wanting to add onto her aggrieved nerves. As much I could do so anyway.
"Truth."
"Who was your best friend as a kid?"
"Lina."
"Truth or Dare?"
"Truth."
"Right, we all know Danny has a big crush on Paulina, ugh, but who do you have a crush on?"
"Um, no one."
She snorted at that. I had looked to Danny, blinking at how he'd gone a bit red in the face at Sam saying who he had a crush on. Oh. He really did have a crush on Lina?
And I think Sam was using this game as another way to sues out exactly how much I might know about Danny.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Truth."
"Tell us about you and Danny being kidnapped. We already heard his side of it."
"I heard a noise, checked it out, saw Danny knocked out. Then was knocked out and taken too. I wiggled my way free, helped Danny out, we escaped. But were found out and there was some sort of blast that had me out of it. I'm pretty sure Danny carried me back. And that was it."
Basic. She already knew what happened. And it was not my business to say more if Danny did not want them to know. And it wasn't asked to really know my side. She only wanted to know what I knew about Danny's secret life of fighting ghosts. And even if she and Tucker knew, that was his secret, that was his to speak up on and not mine at all.
"Your leg was zapped and you were injured," Danny said with this look on his face. As though he was daring me to downplay it. "For a good couple weeks at least with when I caught sight of you wearing the thing on your leg under your pants. How long did you wear that? I'm claiming my turn now and you've always picked truth."
Panic, freaked out at him pressing on it, and all this time later, the word burst out of me without my sayso. "Dare."
His blue eyes blinked, then narrowed, mouth pursing into a thin line. "I dare you to lift the leg of your pants up to your knee. Ah! Both of them."
I lifted them both, putting my knee high socks, thank goodness I wore those today, on display. No ankle brace in sight. Easy enough dare. Hopefully it stopped the worrying about my being injured back then. No one needed to worry over me.
Figuring out questions or dares had been hard for me. I didn't like the idea of embarrassing dares or forcing someone to tell the truth, or come up with a lie, for things they'd rather keep to themselves. So I had been leaving it at simple questions. Favorite colors and the like.
"Red." From Danny.
Eyeing the obvious answer and asking, "What can you not live without?"
"My PDA!"
Spotting the only pink thing in the room, up on prime display in the middle of a shelf. "Where'd you get the cute teddy bear from?"
"...Buster."
I blinked in surprise at the answer, turning to stare at Sam with the old name coming up once again.
Simple questions. It was hard to come up with something better. And Sam was complaining about my easy ones.
"Come on! Boring! Ask about something you really want to know!"
With her eyes flicking over to Danny, Danny and Tucker both scowling, it was not too difficult to figure out what Sam wanted from me.
Except her words triggered something that I really did want to know. To settle my confusion of earlier this week. As I still could not, for the life of me, remember.
"The bailed project. What bailed project did you mean?"
She scowled, angling her head at me, fake disbelief on display. "Don't give me that. Really? You forgot? Oh wait, is it common enough that you forget exactly how many times you do it? That you forgot when you bailed on me, leaving me standing at the front of the English class alone to speak with no visual aids?"
I shifted back on the floor, frowning over at her. No. It wasn't common at all. I disliked leaving things from school undone. Anything I partnered up with, I did my work and helped with the other person or people involved. I couldn't not help. Even if a few took advantage of that. When did this happen? When had I ever not...
"I'd never really listened or gave much merit to the other girls gossip about you, the fact that Paulina dropped you as a friend, none of that, because it's Paulina and gossip. Of how you play coy and mysterious and flirt with all the boys teasing, that you never apologize or care, snubbing everyone, thinking you're better than them, only looking out for yourself, even over a supposed best friend."
She was on a roll, words spilling out, eyes narrowed and leaning close, getting right up to my face. I tilted backwards, completely taken aback.
I do what? Play coy? Flirt? Think I'm better than others?
"It's Paulina and gossip, I thought. And then, you bailed on a project worth 15 percent of the grade! When I know I saw you earlier that day, at the start, us doing a run through! Just gone. And when I went to you about it the next day, you just stared at me, didn't say anything until I chased you down the hallway, to which you said you had somewhere to be. Like what? A dentist appointment you never mentioned to me that morning or the teacher or school? I talked to Mr. Gilford, made sure my grade wasn't affected with him, but I sure didn't forget what you did."
Sam snorted. "Like it was nothing to you."
Mr. Gilford? He was the eighth grade... The connection hit my brain with a snap.
Cold, a freezing feeling rushed over me. I grasped my arms close to me.
"Oh."
Oh. So that's why. That's why Sam didn't like me. Even before...other things. Oh. That, that made sense. Was understandable. I'd be...I'd be not too happy either.
"Oh, now you remember letting me down, do you?"
I knew what day she was speaking about. I'd forgotten about that. I hadn't really been...paying any mind to things at school. There likely had been homework and things due that afternoon that I'd completely blanked on. None of the teachers had said anything about things missing. I think. I don't think so.
Danny turned to me, surprise on his face. "Ashley? That doesn't sound like you. You didn't..."
"Oh, she did."
I swallowed, making myself look straight at her.
"Sam, it doesn't fix anything, but I'm sorry I wasn't there. There was...somewhere else I felt I needed to be, even if it was too late to..."
I shook my head.
She didn't want to hear excuses, the reason why. No one wanted to hear excuses. Especially not out of me. I can't blame anyone for that. I always seemed to mess up and ruin things, no matter how hard I tried otherwise. She'd made up her mind to dislike me from that. It'd been my fault. I had left after all. And it'd been too late to...
Recent events, trying to protect Danny and his secret, had taken that completely warranted dislike and amplified it. Sam didn't want to hear me ramble any excuses over what she felt about me.
I shook my head again.
"It doesn't matter. I really am sorry, I didn't mean to bail on you. I...I have to go now."
I quickly slid around and past them, ducking around to the hallway, trying to get my breathing back steady.
Voices drifted in through the doorway. I listened in. Trying to focus on something for my breathing. Finding myself wanting to know what they were saying.
"Bailing again."
Stop that.
You shouldn't listen in.
"Figures. See Danny?"
It's rude.
Get out.
But I couldn't move.
"Mr. Gilford, in eighth grade? Sam. Did that happen near the beginning of April?"
A pause.
"I think so. How'd you know that?"
"I rode the bus with her. That was the only time she wasn't on the bus. At least, before..."
"Before?" Danny's confused voice cleared, going harsh. "Oh, right. That."
Before what?
"Tucker. Why do you even remember something like that? Or pay attention to it? It's been about two years and even I can't remember the number of days I may have missed. Like what, a couple days, a couple of sick days maybe? Much less when those days were."
Same here Sam. He remembered?
"Um, well. I remember because. Ah. I mean, it's not really something I—"
"Just say it, Tucker."
"I, uh, I only figured it out with how she kept and marked her planner, since we sat next to each other sometimes on the bus. All those appointments stopped being checked off. So, I figured out over time what must have happened, but I mean, how do you talk or bring up... Sam. It's the very thing I'm pretty sure Vlad tried to use against her with Danny, the health concern thing. It's kind of personal? I..."
There was hesitation. A pause. I knew. I knew what Tucker was going to say. I should stop listening. Go.
"It." Sam's voice caught and then strengthened, boldly declaring, "It can't have been all that bad and worthwhile a reason to bail on me if it was only missing one day. No worse than some...virus or something. And no one knew about it. She's related to Bonnie after all. Definitely not any good reason to hedge and haw and make it seem like some big thing. She even said it didn't matter."
"What...what is it Tucker?" Danny's voice was tight, panicked. I gripped my arms at hearing his panic and worry. "I know she downplayed how much that electric burn thing from Vlad had to have been and... Does Ashley have some sort of... Oh, man! And I thought it was a joke and she's got—"
"What? Danny, calm down. It's not Ashley. I just, I was floored at the fact she came back to school. Her sister missed way more days. I don't even think she came back for the rest of that year. Which I don't blame her and why I was stunned that Ashley did."
"Came back? Came back from what?"
"Just say it, Tucker! Spit it out!"
"It's just... Sam. Ashley isn't like any of that. I think, that day you're talking about, of her leaving, I, uh, I'm pretty sure that was the day... It was a big thing, okay? That's what I'm trying to say. It was a big thing. Just...take my word for it. Okay? I know, we both know, you don't really like her that much. We get it. Danny gets it. I think that's part of why he...waited a bit?"
"Huh? Oh, er, yeah, kind of yeah. But what—"
"But maybe, uh, let up a little bit?" Tucker broke through his hesitations to plead. "At least with the project thing from a couple years ago?"
Strong, not willing to back down, defensive, Sam snapped back. "Why? Why should I?"
Sam was perfectly within her rights to not like me if that's how she felt. She was entitled to feel the way she felt and I understood people in general not liking me, so Tucker didn't have to go through all of this. She didn't know and even now, nearly two years later, I still didn't want anyone to offer false kindness when I knew I wasn't worthwhile or—
"Because you're coming across like an asshole," Tucker flung back with a snarl. Surprising me. And them by the echoing gasps. "Her dad died that day. And she apologized. To you, for missing out on presenting a stupid school project."
Silence.
Great.
My hands tightened grip on my arms and I turned fully, leaving, not wanting to hear anymore.
Sam was perfectly in her rights to not like me.
The passing of my dad should have nothing to do with what she felt about me.
She was perfectly within all rights to hate me if she wanted to and I didn't want her forcing otherwise because of my dad, I'd rather she hate me rather than fake otherwise and she was only trying to protect Danny and...
And I didn't want to hear Danny's reaction.
I didn't want to see the way he treated me change.
There we are. As I said. Sam's initial dislike. (Then...kind of smashing it.) Sure, it's been almost a couple years since this happened, but it's not the greatest starting point for them in how Ashley comes back into Sam's life. Initial dislike tied in with worry over Danny from the joint kidnapping, scared about the secret possibly known outside of their circle, and terrified over a mysterious device from Vlad? Amps that fading initial dislike up on high overreaction, due to Sam worrying over Danny with his secret and wanting to keep him safe.
Is it the best reaction from Sam? No. Understandable? Sure. But poor Sam. It's not like she knew. And finding out why Ashley bailed is going to throw Sam off, rattle her, cause a bit of uncertainty in her confidence and surety in dealing with Ashley in current going ons.
So pleased to spot a follow and a favorite. Thank you to Luna Lillyth and Riley-Cooper123 for reviewing!
