Sitting with Poe is nothing like sitting with Finn. How the two even managed to find middle ground between them is strange and mildly awe inspiring. Poe is serious and argumentative but sweet in a way that reminds Rey of what she often felt having an older brother might be like. He teases a lot too, sarcastic and oddly endearing but so much more then just that. Finn has always been filled with unbridled enthusiasm and joy, like he's seeing or experiencing things for the first time. Poe has a more subdued approach, he watches and waits before he responds to most things and is so dry in his humour it's almost hard to catch.
Poe is who she talks to about novels and food and life advice. He's the solid strength behind all decisions and the rational head when Rey starts to bubble over with unconfined joy. She often feels bad for Poe because being around her and Finn together can be kind of like trying to take care of two hyper active puppies. Sure, they're cute and mean well but if you leave them alone for any length of time it's bad news. They're also endlessly tiring when left to randomly wander without parameters. Finn is encouragement and bad ideas which lead to funny life stories and insides jokes. Poe is level headed and no you don't need an actual carnival style popcorn maker in your house your microwave will do.
Rational and reliable is Poe's life motto, until it comes to Finn. When Finn is concerned Poe would pluck the moon straight out of the sky and hand it to him on a cord wound of silver. Finn would have a popcorn maker in his house. Hell, Finn would have fifteen if he wanted them, because Poe is utterly weak when it comes to his partners whims.
That is why this party is so important. Finn has a huge hang up over turning thirty which is funny considering Poe is… well north of thirty. Still Poe is determined that Finn's twenty-ninth birthday be huge. Not a spectacle but maybe a spectacle at the same time. Rey has talked him out of the acrobats reminding Poe that Finn hates clowns and where would they have it?
That was really the big question, where would they have this shindig? Rey was more then happy to offer up her home but that would leave party goers with one of two options, don't drink so you can drive home or be prepared to stay the night. An intimate gathering would be fine in Rey's private sanctuary but Poe's idea for the evening is something a little more grand in nature. Rey suggested asking Han and Leia to host but Poe mumbles something about 'enough on their plate' cryptically which Rey tucks away in the back of her mind under 'information to look into later.'
They could rent a hall, look into reserving a restaurant? Rey has also suggested a paint night, bowling and axe throwing, all of which Poe has turned down. He's a buzz with energy that's foreign and unrestrained as he stresses and frets about how to make this birthday an important one. Rey doesn't think much of it at first but as the time slips on Poe is acting a little less Poe like and a little too neurotic for her taste.
Junior has come by with coffee which Rey effectively removes from Poe's vicinity encouraging a nice relaxing cup of oolong instead. Poe doesn't even argue when Junior brings back two steaming cups of herbal tea and a pair of fresh biscuits on the house. Rey thanks Junior as he slips off to take another order and then fixes Poe with a narrow and appraising stare.
"Spit it out," she demands, carding her fingers together to rest her palms against the table.
Poe looks shaken, almost nervous as he runs his fingers through his hair. It's an action that brings another face to mind, one of longer features, fuller mouth and honeyed whisky eyes that make her melt a little inside. "What?" Poe asks absently, fidgeting in his seat some, resting his back against his chair as folds his arms across his chest. He's chewing on his lower lip when he says, "Moons of Endor, think we could swing that?"
Moons of Endor, that's a swanky place, one Ben had wanted to take Rey on their first would be date. Rey isn't sure theres a likelihood they'd be able to get it with such short notice. Then it hits her, "Lando!"
Poe scrunches his nose a little his dark eyes slightly hooded from exhaustion as he levels Rey with a confused sort of gaze, "Calrissian? What's he got to do with any of this?"
"I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner, Bespin's Finest, I bet we could rent that easily enough and I think Han said something about Lando investing in a microbrewery. Maybe we could get a good cost on some of those weird AP ales that Finn enjoys so much."
Poe chuckles softly, "It's IPA," he corrects as he seems to weigh the merit of the suggestion. "Lando does have good taste…" Poe muses.
It's Rey's turn to chuckle, "In most things, whats with those capes though?"
"They make him look refined," Poe says dramatically making Rey snicker harder, "Do you think he'd go for it?"
Rey shrugs, reaching for her phone, "I'll ask Han what he thinks," she says softly but instead of Han she finds herself texting Ben. Nothing important just telling him where she is and how it's going. She doesn't have an exact time line but promises to text him in a little bit when she has a better idea. After firing off that message she thumbs through her contacts to find Han. That text message is a little less personal and a little more inquisitive. She outlines her loosely formed plan asking if Han thinks Lando would go for it. Now they wait for the response.
"So… seriously Poe whats going on you seem really hung up on this party. You just need to serve Finn cake and tell him he's pretty and he'll love you forever. You know that." Poe however, doesn't respond how Rey had expected. Instead of a chuckle Poe looks thoroughly wrecked. He looks like a man who's over thought something so many times it doesn't even sound the same anymore as it flutters through his mind anymore. "You can tell me, are you ok?"
Poe's smile is soft and cautious as he says, "You have to keep this between you and I. You cannot breath a word to anyone." he sounds serious as he rests his fists agains the table a few inches away from Rey's cup of cooling oolong. When Rey nods her acceptance of this fact Poe continues. He looks nervous even now, his eyes a light with child like mischief as he takes a breath and says, "I'm going to ask him."
Rey waits for the other shoe to drop. There are many things in which Poe might ask Finn but there's only one question that could make Poe a bumbling mess like this. "You are?" Rey chirps happily as the realization dawns on her.
Poe is nodding his head slowly as though he can't believe it himself. "I am. It's time. As far as I'm concerned it's also long over due. That's why this has to be perfect, everything needs to be just right."
"So, wait…" Rey stops a moment to think on the gravity of this situation, "I'm helping you to plan his birthday party annnnnd essentially your proposal?" She's practically giddy at the prospect.
"Well no, the proposal I have planned, you're just helping me plan the party." When Poe notices Rey looks a little crest fallen he gives her a sympathetic pout, "Oh Peanut," he chides softly, "Ive thought about how I want to do this for years now, but the setting has to be right, that's where you come in."
After a moment or two Rey slowly accepts Poe's reasoning, "As long as you're not going to put it in his cake or dessert or something he'd likely inhale it." she jokes and Poe smiles.
"Yeah, the two of you have that in common," he teases, relaxing some as he reaches for his cup of tea. He seems to have forgotten it's not coffee because when Poe takes a drink the taste seems to stun him a little. There's a pensive look on his face as though he's trying to process what's just happened, "This is quite good," he offers with a kindly furrowed brow. As though tea could never really be that tasty.
They fall into a smooth sort of conversation talking about possible music choices and drink selections. There's a sweet sort of nostalgia to the way Poe approaches this party concept, as though he wants to remind Finn of all the reasons that Poe loves him. For which Rey knows there are many. It's sweet to watch her friend so utterly smitten, even sweeter knowing the person he's smitten by is someone who deserves to be loved just like this.
Rey has been there since the beginning of their relationship so she knows it hasn't been necessarily easy but Poe and Finn have this way about them that makes it look like falling in love with your best friend is the simplest and most natural thing in the world. They aren't huge into public displays or grand gestures. Romance for them is Poe picking up a pizza on his way home when he knows Finn has had a bad day when Poe has sworn off gluten for the fifteen millionth time. They live together and work together, not an easy feat to accomplish in life as most would tire of one another very quickly. Rey's seen it though, the look Poe gets when Finn enters a room. Or, the way Finn's cheeks darken just a little when he talks about Poe. They just get one another and Rey hopes that that never changes for them.
"Any word from Han?" Poe asks as he rests his elbows on the table. He's leaning forward slightly inclined towards her as she checks her phone. When she shakes her head and tucks the small electronic device away she finds herself leaning in toward Poe in a mirror of his own position.
"So, did you get him a ring? or like is that a thing? do guys do that?" It feels like something she should know but she doesn't. She isn't even sure she's seen Finn wear jewelry before. Not even a watch or a chain. She suppose's it has something to do with their line of work. Jewelry would make it easy for body parts to get trapped or pinched or worse. Truthfully it's only in the last few years Rey's even noticed Han wearing a wedding band. It oddly enough coincided with the time frame in which he decided he would no longer be working in the pit (what the mechanics fondly called their shop).
Poe grins sheepishly, "I wasn't going to but I did, did you, do you want to see it?" he offers and Rey can't suppress the giddy grin that spreads across her face. She loves love. An odd sentiment all things considered but happily ever afters, while never a concept she saw as a reality in her own life are something she's always hoped for for others. "I picked it up just before I picked you up, I had it custom made."
Even better. Rey can't believe how lucky Finn is to have found someone who cares this much. It makes her happy beyond comprehension to think of her two dearest friends living out the rest of their lives in happily wedded bliss. There's a dark pang of something else buried beneath it though, it almost slips into her smile be she holds it down trying to suffocate the dark surge of envy that wells within. While she never dreamed she would find such a happily ever after, that doesn't mean she hasn't thought about it. The white dress, the big ceremony, all of her friends and family around to celebrate with her. It's her truest darkest secret. The one thing she's afraid to admit to herself and will never say aloud. To admit it to the world puts expectation on it and thoughts like that are better left right where they are, buried deep and hidden so not to be disturbed or worse inflated. When given life, those ideas sink their claws in deep and if left alone, if left with hope, they can tear you apart from the insides.
No, she'll never admit that she hopes some day someone will look at her the way Poe looks at Finn, to love her the way Finn loves Poe. She'll never breathe a word of how she hopes some day someone will care enough to say those three little words that will shape her future in granite. All she's ever wanted was to know love, to be loved and she can't remember the last time she's truly felt it. Sure her friends care about her, they may even love her but is it really the same thing? Maybe it is and Rey is just simply too broken to see it. Maybe. Or maybe not.
Then there's Ben, who maybe kind of looks at her that way? Or maybe she's just projecting. This is the danger in hoping, your rational brain gets swept up in irrational thoughts and you lose yourself in what ifs and maybes. His presence has been solid though and if she's being honest she rather likes the idea of him being around. She's never had someone to share in the little things with, not in the way she does with Ben. She's never had anyone touch her the way Ben does either. Sure she's had plenty of experience in the horizontal pelvic tango department but she's learning that there's a difference between a touch to entice and a touch to need. Ben's never feels like he's touching her to get something out of it. It's never a means to an end, the end being her clothes off and him buried between her legs. No, he touches her as though his one goal is her joy, her pleasure. His touch is like fresh air in her lungs and warm and cold fingers stroking down her spin from the inside. He's never given her any indication to think or dream that he would go further then she allowed. Snap always pushed and tried to talk her into things. 'Come on babe, give me something to remember you by while I'm out there in the air'
Arrogant fly boy indeed. Poe had been mortified when he found out about Snap's actions but by that point it was too late. Rey felt a connection to the asshole that made her feel like he was all she deserved. Now there's Ben. Ben who's touch is gentle, building into a question before it burns her flesh, searing her with his intent. Ben with his kisses that are sweet and sure, his lips that devour softly and make her feel things she's never felt before. Like he would take his time and know her in every way instead of forcing himself inside and leaving the bed cold when he was done. No, Rey is sure Ben would hold her afterwards. He would stay, wind his arms around her and pin her to his chest so she knew without a doubt she was cared for.
There, that spark of hope, that was the danger. It lit a fire through her bones that left her wanting so much more then she was sure Ben was prepared to give her. She was lucky to have what he offered her already. She could be content with that and only that, couldn't she?
The more she thought about it the more she was sure that could never be the case. The more she thought of Ben the more she wanted, the more she needed. Even the way he spoke to her, kind and sweet but then there was that edge of a man who knew exactly what he wanted. His words flood her mind as she thinks back to that morning and the way he'd touched her, the things he'd said. He'd been so forward, his words so sinfully delicious that they startled her, frightening her just a little. Not because she didn't want him to want her but because she wanted so much more then just one night of what she was sure would be utterly mind blowing sex.
Snap's approach had always been a means of release, no regard for her pleasure, she can't even remember the last time she's had someone else bring her to the precipice of release. Snap was selfish and somehow he made her feel like she was the lucky one, that he'd allowed her a small piece of his time. He was a sloppy lover with no real skill beyond stick it in and move. Ben, Ben on the other hand. The way he touched her, the way he breathed her in. She was sure Ben would not treat intimacy in the same way.
Poe is looking at her expectantly and she's strangely aware of the fact that she's zoned out. Still she can feel her lips drawn in a smile, her cheeks almost sore from the way her grin spreads wide across her face. Poe shifts between concern and amusement as he says, "So… where'd you go?"
Rey can feel the blush as it creeps into her cheeks, burning down her neck and along her spine. She can feel the heat as it pools in her belly filling her with a need to be touched. Not just touched but explored and savoured.
"Sorry," she mutters as she clears her throat, trying to hide the blatant need thats clawed its way into her voice, "You were going to show me Finns ring?"
Amusement melds into curiosity as Poe fixes her with an questioning grin, "Oh I will but first I think you need to explain this," He gestures towards Ray with a wagging finger indicating anything and everything as if he can see the way Ben has branded her. As if the trail of kisses he left across her flesh this morning were bright and hot and obvious. She knew it wasn't possible for there to be any trace of them left. Ben had been so careful as he moved against her with his mouth imprinting on her in a way that's been be able to feel for the rest of the day.
"Explain what?" Rey asks curiously, scrambling to pick up her tea. She nurses it within her palms, savouring the taste as Poe watches. His eyes are too dark, too knowing and she won't be able to hide it from him for much longer at the rate that she's going. She's spiralling, torn between needing to tell him everything and knowing he won't want any of the details so long as it's Ben she's talking about. "Where's the ring Poe?"
Poe grins, "In my pocket Rey," He tells her in the same tone, teasing her in the way an older brother would. An older brother however would not be seeking the information that Poe is currently trying to glean from Rey's very nervous and very flushed face. "I'll show you but I want to know what this grinning thing is about. It's not…Snap right?" the face he makes tells Rey all she needs to know about Poe's opinion on that front. "I told him to back off…no." There's a pause before Poe says with slow deliberation, "Ben…?"
Rey doesn't want to nod, she doesn't want to move. She can't let him know, he doesn't want to know so why is he asking. Poe has made his feelings about Ben very clear from the start but Rey can't help how she feels, the attraction is almost primal but the emotional connection is something otherworldly. "Look, I know you don't like him, I know there's a lot of stuff there but…"
"No no," Poe interrupts, inclining his head, his brows raised as he nods towards something behind her, "Ben." he says a little more firmly and Rey has to turn to catch his meaning.
There standing in the door way is Ben. His hair looks mussed as though he's run his fingers through it one too many times. It arcs back away from his forehead and curls lightly around his ears which Rey knows are just a little larger then average but they seem to suit him so well. He's walking towards them with a look on his face that's reminiscent of the one he gave her this morning. He's dressed less casually now, dark fitted jeans that grip his thighs and backside, a dark grey henley and his worn brown leather jacket. She has to turn to get a better look at him as his feet stop before their table and she shifts a little to make room for him. He's quiet and oh so serious but there's a fire in his eyes that threatens to burn her to the ground. When he holds out his hand she takes it without forethought and he's there and he's touching her and it doesn't matter that its in public because she could melt into the warmth of his hands alone.
When he kisses her it's not soft but it is. It happens quickly, causing her to gasp as he leans into her shock and deepens their connection. She finds herself pushing up on her tip toes to change the angle, to gain some modicum of control when all she wants to do is surrender to him. Her hands move with no real idea where they should rest. Finally she's grabbing at his upper arms, squeezing his biceps beneath her fingers and as quickly as it started Ben is drawing back. He rocks his forehead against hers in a motion that she has come to expect from Ben. It's sweet causing their noses to bump together gently, "Hi," She breathes out softly.
"Hey," he returns, his voice thick with something that sounds unmistakably like desire. He's nuzzling their noses together as he smiles and it looks almost as though there's something he might want to say. That look in his eyes is back and bright, lit like twin amber flames.
"Ahh, Ben," Poe says knowingly, his eyes filled with understanding as Ben pulls her against his body and buries his nose into her hair. She feels him all around her and its warm and wonderful and so perfect she almost forgets they're in public. "Ahhh Hetero love." Poe jokes, "Not going to lie that was hot. Even got me a little turned on." He looks down at his pants pushing back from the table just a little. "Yeah, look at that, hello down there."
Rey groans and Ben makes a noise that might be considered a growl, it's deep and rumbly and Rey's pretty sure she feels his arms tighten just a fraction around her. It's not all together unpleasant if not a little unnecessary. She nuzzles her face against his chest holding on a moment longer as she mutters, "Shut it Poe." before pulling back from Ben's warm and steady firmness. "What are you doing here so early?" she wonders aloud, careful not to sound disappointed by his sudden presence because honestly, she's not.
Ben and Poe seem to be locked in some sort of male stare down which is foolish because Poe isn't interested in women. At least she's pretty sure he isn't. Poe's sexuality has never been a topic of conversation. There's never been any need to understand it really because he's quite simply Finnsexual and that's all that's ever mattered. After a moment or two Ben is the first to drop the stare down, resigning to catch Rey with a heated grin, "Just… had to see you," he tells her with an air of embarrassment which is both utterly endearing and totally unexpected. "I have to run back the apartment and get a few things and then hit the market before we head home. Do you want anything else?" Rey is careful not to get too excited by the fact that his apartment is 'the' apartment and her home is simply home. Idly she wonders if her bed might become simply their bed, The thought makes her blush which only makes Ben's smile widen.
"Uhmmm a treat?" she hedges and leans back using Ben's body as a centre of gravity. She's flirting shamelessly and she doesn't even care because when Ben looks at her like that. Like he's about to push her down and run his tongue over every inch of flesh he can find, rational thought seems a pointless folly.
Ben laughs and Rey can feel it vibrating through her, "Naturally," he says like its the most obvious thing in the world. "Dad and I went to Bormea Cafe today," Ben starts but Rey cuts him off.
"Oh was Ash working? How is she?" Rey asks exuberantly, "Do you think gelato would last the drive up the mountain?"
"You were with Han?" Poe asks over Rey, his tone a little harsher then she would have liked, like there's something he's not telling her. Something they should all know.
Ben smiles at Rey, "Likely not," he tells her sadly before he looks over her head towards Poe who is sitting still as the grave at their table with his oolong getting cold. "Yeah, we had gelato,"
Poe balks, "Han had gelato?"
"Yeah and coffee, we had…" Ben's voice dies off as he loses himself in thought, "It was good." he finishes, a little unsure but still very ok, the ghost of a smile present as he turns a, "Why?" towards Poe.
"Did he tell you about Fett?" Poe asks quickly, a little bitterly as though Rey weren't there at all.
It's like watching two male gorillas beating on their chests trying to out do the other. Foolish and pointless but it's better then fighting, "Said he got my tires, Finn put them on this afternoon." Poe makes a face that doesn't sit well with Rey. Apparently it doesn't sit well wit Ben either because he's firing off a quick, "What, what didn't he tell me?"
Rey watches as Poe's expression softens some, he's looking at her with something akin to sadness washing over his features, "Fett is trying to extort Han. Apparently he knows Plutt and Plutts been asking a lot of questions."
Ben tenses beneath Rey's hold as she says, "He already knows where I work, what more could he want?"
"I don't know," Poe says softly, "Lots I'm sure but Han's been dealing with that."
"What a fucking mess," Ben grumbles, "Huxley wasn't home but I'll reach out to him later and see if he's been able to pull anything up." Rey nods as Ben pulls away, "Aways keeping secrets my old man." Ben states with an underlying tone of his own bitterness.
Poe cuts him a pointed stare, "He's trying his best man, back down a bit. He's worried you got enough on your plate." Poe's words are harsh but truthful, "He actually gives a shit, you're lucky even if you can't see it passed the nose on your face."
Anger flashes across Ben's features, then annoyance, then something like understanding and hurt. He doesn't respond to Poe, just looks down at Rey with a soft smile, "I'm going to go grab some things, I'll be back ok?" He's tilting her chin up with one hooked index finger, his lips descending upon hers softly. The kiss is brief but warm and filled with promises of things that may only be in Rey's imagination but they make her toes curl all the same. "You take care of her," Ben says as he points to Poe and pulls away oh so slowly.
She hates this feeling, that chill that slips in when his body separates from hers. He's like a walking furnace that also happens to be exceptionally good at kissing. There's barely a foot between them, their fingers still linked as Ben turns back on her without warning to swallow her lips in one more kiss as if he simply hasn't had enough. It's dizzying the effect he has on her but pleasant the way her body tingles after he's gone.
Settling back in to her seat across from Poe she is not immune to the incredulous look he's giving her. His eyebrows are raised into his hair line, lips quirked in a half smile as he slides his arms across his chest. "So… Ben…" He says knowingly and it's all Rey can do to keep the broad grin off her face.
Her finger tips linger on her bottom lip a moment, the feel of him lingering and oh so sweet, like strawberries and something rich. "You don't get to judge," Rey comments softly, "Show me the damn ring,"
Poe chuckles shaking his head slowly, "Ohhhh no no, we're hashing this one out." he says evenly, his words soft but his posture a little uneasy. He's a mix of emotions Rey just can't figure out which ones. "That was… intense." The lilt in Poe's voice denotes his curiosity but he leaves that commentary at a minimum, encouraging Rey to share what feels too private to expose. Ben sort of did that for them though, not that she was complaining, it was delightful to be kissed in such a way almost as though he was claiming her in the eyes of the public.
"Mmmm," Rey answers, finally allowing her finger tips to drop to the table. The smile is still there, stretching her mouth wide, painfully so. When her work day began she'd been excited about tacos and now? Now she's excited about everything that might come after.
"Are you two hooking up?" Poe asks a little more seriously, as though he might start to point out all of the ways in which that could blow up in her face.
"No," Rey responds almost dreamily. She's reaching for a biscuit to give her hands something to do. She's restless and Poe's watching her and it all seems so real and raw and will he even understand? "No we haven't," she can't admit it, she can't say it. She's such a child but admitting they haven't slept together when it's now all she can think about is like standing next to a fire with a handful of fireworks and hoping for the best. "He's been a perfect gentleman Poe. You can report that back to the powers that be."
Poe makes a noise that sounds half scoff half flustered intake of air, "He's suppose to be helping you, watching out for you,"
"And he is," Rey counters, he watched her dancing this morning and he helped her get rather hot and bothered adding some scandalous images to her mental file of self assisted materials. "Ben's actually not a bad guy, he just doesn't warm up easily,"
Rey doesn't miss the way Poe mutters, "Seems to have warmed up to you just fine," under his breath casting his gaze to the floor in order to avoid Rey's agitated glare. "I'm just worried about you,"
"Ben is not what you need to be worried about," She knows it doesn't matter how many times she says it, Poe simply isn't going to stop worrying. He's concerned which she adores him for but sometimes being treated as the kid sister all the time gets really old. She's a grown woman, she has needs god damnit. She wants great sex and an orgasm thats going to leave her boneless, breathless and sore. It's tempting to tell Poe just that but not with look he's giving her. She's can see he's actually quite concerned and it kills her to think Ben makes him feel like Rey isn't safe.
"Look, I'm not worried about him putting his hands on you…" he pauses as he rethinks his wording. Ben has obviously already had his hands on Rey, "I should say, I'm not worried his anger would ever touch you. He's a totally different person when he's with you. I see that, I get that." albeit begrudging Rey is sure. "I'm just concerned about where this goes."
"What do you mean?" Rey asks softly, almost as though she's been scolded.
Poe lets out a rough sigh, "You're getting attached," it sounds like an accusation but Rey soon sees it for the warning it is, "What's going to happen when he goes back to his marines? What are you going to do then?" Rey doesn't like thinking about that. Armitage has already made the same point and it left her feeling unsettled and anxious. She'd thought at the time that those feelings were attributed to the other circumstances surrounding her but hearing Poe say it out loud? Having someone else draw attention to their inevitable predicament? It makes Rey feel wrong inside. Like pouring cold water over burning coals, filling her head with steam and fear.
"I…" She begins, but her words fall away, swooped up by the chatter of the cafe patrons around them.
"You…" Poe challenges, he's being cold and he knows it. He maybe sorry for it but he's playing the voice of reason. Rey hates when he does this because more often then not he's usually right. "You… you're falling Rey." His words are lost on her a moment as she blinks wide eyed and strange at her roguishly handsome companion. His dark eyes are soft, like pools of dark cocoa. He doesn't want to be saying these things. He doesn't even want to be having this conversation but Poe is older and wiser and he's seen her through so much worse. "For him Peanut. You're falling for him."
She's… no she's not. "Don't be an idiot," she tells him softly, "I can't be falling for him." she wants to tell him that that part of her has never worked properly, that she doesn't know how to love anyone but those words fall short on her tongue leaving a bitter taste in their wake. "Poe, I've never, you know me."
"Snap?" Poe offers.
"What about him?" Rey isn't making the correlation. Is Snap suppose to mean something? "I can be disappointed I've been stood up, that doesn't mean I'm falling for someone."
Poe makes a noise that reeks of disbelief before saying, "Regardless,"
But no, no Poe opened that door, Rey wants to walk through it, "No, not regardless. Snap was some play boy who was very good at mind games. I never knew where I stood. If it was just a fuck that's fine, I was ok with that but the dates and the dinners and the ghosting. That was bullshit so yeah I got upset. I liked him sure but I was not falling for Snap. I think I'd know if I was falling for someone."
The look Poe gives her is sad and almost pitying, "Sweetheart, I don't think you would." His words sting but they ring of truth. She's never known love, just a pelvic connection. She loves Poe. She loves Finn, and Jannah, and Han, and Leia… She knows she loves them but thats not being in love. She isn't really sure what that's suppose to feel like.
"I haven't known Ben long enough," she scrambles, "You don't fall for someone that quick, it's just a hormones that your body produces making you think you're all twitterpated."
Poe laughs jovially as he rubs his hand along the back of his neck, "Alright there Friend Owl," he teases lightly, "I'm just saying. I've never seen you this gone on a guy. Leave room for the possibility that there is something more then puppy love happening. What if its real? What if it's real and he leaves?"
Words fail her because truthfully she doesn't know. Poe has his finger pointed in her direction, his mouth parted as if to say 'ahhh gotcha there,' because he does and she knows it. "All I'm saying is, have the conversation because sex with feelings is not the same as sex with lust, or sex with friendship. It's not like having a cupcake and just adding sprinkles. It's more like trying to change the flavour of the cupcake half way through baking," his stomach grumbles and Poe scrunches his nose, "Now I want cupcakes."
Rey doesn't want to talk about this anymore, she doesn't want to think about it either. She was happy to think her evening may have consisted of teenager style making out, heavy petting and the possibility of one of the best orgasms she's ever had in her life. She's built Ben up to be some wanton sex God but with a mouth like that, with the way he talks when he's the slightest bit aroused… It would be shocking if his mouth was writing checks his dick couldn't cash. Now the thought of it leaves her feeling hallow. Gone is the warmth that had burbled up within her belly. She wants to punch Poe for ruining this for her but she can't get passed the fact that he was simply speaking out of a need to protect her heart.
"Are you going to show me the ring or not?" She almost bark causing Poe to look unabashedly taken aback. Guilt floods through her instantly, her face softening as she takes a moment to compose herself. Her lips pressed between her teeth, she pinches at the flesh harshly trying to contain the moisture that builds up at the corners of her eyes. "Sorry," the word falls breathlessly from her lips and she finds it hard to look Poe in the eye.
Instead of scolding her or giving her grief Poe simply digs around in the pocket of his black sports coat. When he pulls out the small black box Rey's heart swells a little in her chest. Poe looks happy, more then happy really. He's elated and glowing with a vibrancy that one gets when they love someone so entirely. "I had them make it out of a bumper," Poe explains as he rests his elbow against the table and presents the box. While it sounds a little funny to Rey she's sure it makes perfect sense to Poe and it isn't long before he's explaining. "Our first job together, like the very first project we worked on."
Rey can't help but say, "I wouldn't think you work on many together, you being in the aero pit and all."
Poe chuckles, "Yeah, you're right there but Finn asked for help on something, it was before we started dating, you might not even have started yet. It was this old beat up caddie that Han was nuts over. Everyone was on lunch and Finn was trying to get the bumper off. She was rusted to shit but my god she was glorious." Poe smiles as he follows the memories fondly, "He was huffing on the thing when I came through looking for Han and at first I just watched him. It was comical to see him struggle but then it was just sad. Long and short we busted up the bumper real bad. Han chewed us both out and we put it on the wall in the shop as a reminder."
"So… you had it made into a ring?" It still sounds a little odd to Rey but then again she's not the one who's head over heels.
With a half shrug of sorts Poe edges the box towards Rey encouraging her to take it, "Just look," He tells her, urging her to open the box and see for herself. The hinge is sticky and new, it hitches as she opens it wide and the light over head catches the ring in question. It's black around the edges, "Tungsten," Poe explains with a nod, but the centre is vibrant and silver, like the polished chrome of an old car. "The band itself is tungsten but the overlay is meted down from a piece of the bumper. Han thought it was a good idea."
Rey chuckles softly as she turns the box around and around in her hand. "He would," she comments lightly as she examines the ring closely. Along the inside are the words 'all in' simple and to the point but full of meaning for both Finn and Poe she's sure.
When she hands the box back with a resounding click Poe stuffs it conspiratorially back into his pocket. He pats it flat as he settles her with sad sort of grin as he says, "You deserve it too you know."
She's never said it out loud before but somehow hearing Poe confirm it makes Rey a little uneasy, "I don't know if thats my life Poe," she says softly. In her pocket her phone chimes and her heart beat skips in the hope of seeing Ben's name light up across its screen. No such luck. It is however Han, "Good news, Bespin's Finest is ours we just need a date?" Her phone chimes again and another message slides up beneath the last, Han again, "Han says leave the alcohol and refreshments to him and Leia, they have a caterer they use and we just need to take care of entertainment and guest list." Rey makes a huh noise as she looks up at Poe, "That was easy."
And yet Poe looks unbelievably nervous, "I'm doing this."
"You're doing this," Rey confirms, "I need to see someone prove that Happily Ever After is really a thing in this world Poe. No pressure or anything but well, you got this."
Poe gives a sharp nod, affirming, "I got this," and Rey can't help but reach out and squeeze his hand. Moments pass when all the do is smile at one another, it's awkward and a little goofy but the excitement is too much to contain.
"Ouuuu I'm so excited! I better get to be a best man!" she declares, happily rubbing her hands together.
When Poe laughs this time there's a relaxed nature to it that Rey is more then happy to see again, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
The evening sky has gotten dark making it harder to see the outside world through the glow of the indoors. A car's headlights flicker off on the other side of the window and Rey can see Ben sitting in drivers seat of her Honda, her Hulk bobblehead wobbling on the dash as Ben gives it a sharp tap and a smile. "Rides here," Poe says almost sadly, "Just remember what I said please," He's drawing up to his feet as Rey follows suit and he helps her into her jacket.
"Ok Dad," she mocks before adding with a grin, "Will you and Poe adopt me when you're married?"
"We couldn't afford the cost to feed you," Poe jokes which earns him a swat as Rey's knuckles collied with his upper arm. "Come on, don't want to keep prince charming wad-ohhhh shit" Rey is adjusting her collar wrapping her cream and blue coloured blanket scarf around her neck so she doesn't see what catches Poe's eye. "Is that Snap? thaaaaat's Snap."
"What? where?" As Rey looks out the window she see's the outline of Snap Wexley as he makes his way towards Rey's car. Silver Honda's are a dime a dozen but Rey's pretty sure hers is the only one with a hand made Scandinavian Gnome sitting on the dash. It's bright blue hat stitched with stars makes it eye catching for sure and Snap is headed right for Ben.
"Shiiiit, shit, Fuck." Poe is muttering to himself, pushing passed Rey, "He wasn't happy when I told him to leave you alone. Shit Ben is going to flatten him."
"Maybe it'll be fine," Rey finds herself musing but she's not sure if she believes it for an instance. She half wonders if she should't stay out of sight her presence will surely only make the situation worse.
"Rey come on! I'm worried Ben's going to kill him if Snap tries to start something!" Poe has her by the hand and is pulling her forward now. Surely this won't be that big of a deal, Ben doesn't even know who Snap is. Snap doesn't know who Ben is but Snap's steps seem a little stilted and if He's been drinking.
"Fuck." Rey utters throwing a few bills down on the table. They thank Junior quickly and Poe is pulling Rey out the door.
Why can't things ever be easy?
Am I addicted to drama? I may be addicted to drama... The poor babies, will they ever catch a break? Yes, yes they will because this is a Happily Ever After kind of story damnit! Just with drama until that point. There's some sweet happy comforting times a head though friends and some sexy times too. Oh and more drama but Poe's gonna propose!
Thanks again for all the lovely feed back, I love the honesty and yes I really could use a beta reader, I never really thought about it because I didn't think this story would take on such a life of its own. It was meant to be an exercise in controlling my words which as I've stated Im failing miserably at but now it's a little bit more then that. Thank you for sticking with me through the typos and mistakes darlings. Your thoughts and comments mean the world to me. xo
