Hey wonderful people! I hope you are all healthy and safe and not going too stir crazy for those practicing social distancing. Two updates pretty quick guys. I'm excited! This one was 17 pages without a single song in it. LOTS of content that I think you all will enjoy.
There is a small lemon scene but, as with my others I didn't go into much detail, just the lead up to it. I'm not 100% sure how much I can really add or how much y'all want to actually read so I've just been playing it safe. Let me know what you all think.
Hopefully, you all like this chapter. Things are starting to get rolling. I'm really excited for the next chapter. Anyways, enjoy your reading and let me know what you think! Thank you to all of you that have been sticking with my stories and reviewing!
Two weeks passed with no incident. Mia returned back to LA, The crew came and shot the music video, which Dimitri was forcefully pulled into. When they mentioned having a love interest, well there was no one else I'd rather have and he was already with me. The video and single released a few days ago and like Dimitri had predicted, it was steadily climbing up the charts.
"Can you believe we only have 3 weeks left of this tour?" I asked Dimitri as we sat in a waiting room in Georgia. We snuck away for the afternoon, boarded a plane, and were currently waiting on Dr. Olendsky to squeeze us in. Unfortunately, we weren't going to have enough time to visit the Belikovs but this time I was ok with it because I'm not completely ready to share news of this pregnancy. Currently, Abe and my team believe I had to come in for a check up on my knee.
"It's gone by quick," he acknowledged. His knee wouldn't stop bouncing and I smiled.
"Comrade, you keep bouncing like that, you'll cause an earthquake," I laughed.
"Sorry," he muttered and stopped. I knew he was a combination of excited and nervous. It probably didn't help that I only had him and Butch with me. I insisted that I didn't want anyone else because I didn't want anyone else to know. Butch was currently standing out in the hallway. "When do you find out if it's a boy or girl?"
"Not for a while. You can do genetic testing early on to find out but, I'd rather not. Usually its between 18-21 weeks, sometimes its earlier. By my guess, I'd say I'm only 9 weeks or so. I won't even start showing for a couple more weeks. As long as everything checks out good," I added almost accidentally.
"It's going to be fine. This is our second chance." Right about then, Dr. O's nurse, Shelly, came out and called us back.
"Ok Rose, I'm gonna need you to pee in this cup, then strip from the waist down. We're going to have to do the vaginal ultrasound today to check out how far you are. Leave the cup on the bathroom counter and when you're ready have Dimitri crack the door," Shelly said handing me the cup then walking out. I quickly went into the bathroom and did as she asked. I knew this was coming so I'd chugged a bottle of water before coming in. When I came out and was ready I nodded to Dimitri and he cracked the door. Dr. O followed shortly after.
"So I hear congratulations is in order."
"Maybe, it could be a false positive," I said.
"Ah, there's the negative talk I'm so used to," she smiled. "From What Olena's told me, I'm pretty sure it's not a false positive."
"Olena talked to you? Geez I need a new doctor!" I laughed. "Just so you know I haven't told her about the positive test."
"She was asking me if it was possible and told me her thoughts on the matter," she told me patting the stirrups. I propped my knees up like she wanted and slid forward. Dimitri stood beside me and grabbed my hand. I looked up to see him watching her nervously as she picked up the wand and put the condom cover over it. He raised his eyebrow in question but didn't say anything.
"It's too early to see anything from the outside so she's gotta look at it from the inside," I explained.
"So that uh…goes in?" he asked nervously.
"Yep. As it grows we'll be able to do the tummy ultrasound, but for now this is what we're stuck with. Trust me I'm not too keen on it either."
"Alright Roza, Dimitri. Ready to see your baby?" she asked before inserting it. In a couple of seconds we were able to hear thumping.
"That's the heartbeat," She explained. Dimitri's face lit up. She turned the screen so we could see better. As she talked, she pointed things out on the ultrasound. "This is the baby right here. I'm going to do some measurements. Based on everything I'm seeing, it looks like you're about 7 weeks along."
"I was late by two weeks," I said.
"What made you think you were later?" she asked.
"The morning sickness hit earlier I guess this pregnancy. I mean it hasn't been super bad surprisingly but the nausea started…I guess around week three. I didn't actually throw up until 5 though. With Connor I didn't start getting sick until week 7 or 8. Plus I missed two periods but I'm also slightly irregular so that doesn't necessarily mean anything I guess."
"Hmmm, well sometimes it does start earlier. You said its not bad though? How often are you actually throwing up?" she asked as she pulled the wand out and printed the pictures.
"Maybe two-three times a week? Some more, some less. I've been waiting for it to really hit but I guess since I'm earlier than I thought, I've still got that to look forward to. I thought maybe I was lucking out this go around."
"Ok, well I'll check your blood work but it all seems normal. I guess it was just a little early for you this time," she said handing me the pictures. "I'll let you get dressed now, come to my office when you're done."
"Yes ma'am," I nodded. When she walked out, I handed the pictures to Dimitri. He took them gently like if he grabbed them too hard or fast, they'd disappear. I quickly pulled my underwear and pants back on and saw him still standing there staring. "You ok?"
"That's our baby," he said softly. A tear slowly fell down his cheek. At that moment I could have slapped myself. I forget that this is his first time going through it all and here I was practically rushing through it and talking morning sickness. I smiled and grabbed his hand. I kissed the back of it.
"That's our baby," I repeated with a soft smile. He looked up at me his smile was so bright it could have blinded someone as he grabbed my hips and lifted me back up onto the edge of the table. In the next second his lips were on mine. After a minute or two he pulled back.
"We're having a baby," he stated smiling down at me. I laughed.
"Well I'd hope so or all that morning sickness would be troublesome."
"You've been getting sick?" he asked. Somehow It hasn't ever really hit with him around. That or he's been asleep.
"It's fine comrade. Perfectly normal." I told him. As soon as I said that he smiled again as he looked back down at the pictures again. I laughed at his reaction again but was quickly hit with guilt. I slid down and grabbed his hand. "Come on before Dr. O sends a search party."
When we were in her office the questions started.
"How is this possible? You said it was impossible."
"I said the odds weren't good and at the time, they weren't. Looking now though, you wouldn't be able to tell you had any trauma in your uterus. I'm frankly amazed myself but if anyone could beat the odds, it would be you."
"So, how likely am I to miscarry again?
"Unfortunately, your odds are higher after suffering through a previous miscarriage but, looking at everything so far everything is checking out perfect. As you get further along we will be doing more frequent check ins to watch out and monitor your placenta. I'm going to warn you, if things start not checking out, you will go on immediate bed rest. That's a worse case scenario though. I'm hoping it will not resort to that. As of right now, you're free to resume all activities except heavy lifting. Nothing heavier than Zoya," she smiled.
"You realize because you said that, he's not going to let me lift anything. Not even a jug of milk," I laughed.
"You can lift milk. Just nothing over 30-35 pounds. With your history, you're considered high risk. That's a rule I give to all of my high risk mothers."
"Is she high risk because of the abruption?" Dimitri asked.
"Yes. Unfortunately, after something like that any pregnancy she has, she'll be considered high risk. Even if this one goes perfectly and you get pregnant again. It's just a precaution."
He just nodded.
"I hate to be the downer here but you said my odds are higher. How much higher?"
"You're about 14-21% likely to have a miscarriage after having one in the second trimester. That being said, it's uncommon to have back to back miscarriages. Only 2% of women have back to back miscarriages. I know after your past, you're worried but, try not to stress about it. you know what to expect, if anything feels off or you start having abnormal pains, call me immediately. If the pain is bad or there's blood, get to a hospital. As of right now everything is checking out fine. The placenta looks good, the size is good, you're not having any unusual symptoms. Don't panic. Stress is not good for your body which means it's not good for the baby."
"Ok," I said not wanting to tell her that I was already panicking.
"Roza, I'm serious. Try not to worry. If anything feels off you can call me. Anytime. You have my cellphone number so I'm always within reach."
"Perks of you being friends with my boyfriends family," I teased. "Though I can't believe you talk about me."
"Trust me, you're not our usual topic of conversation. And don't worry, I won't tell Olena your news."
"Thank you Dr. Olendsky," Dimitri said.
"So formal," I teased.
"Here's a prescription for prenatals. Start them immediately. I know you said you've already been taking over the counter ones but, these are more specific to your needs. You can fill them down stairs, so you don't have to worry about being photographed in a pharmacy."
"Thank you Dr. O. I appreciate it," I said grabbing the prescription as she stood and walked us to the door. Dimitri shook her hand and walked out as I followed before I could slip out she gently squeezed my shoulder.
"I mean it, don't panic. This is a good thing," she smiled reassuringly. I nodded and gave her a small smile as I followed Dimitri out. Out in the hallway Butch followed behind us.
"Since you already know, want to see?" I asked. It was only fair since we had him standing in a hallway for an hour. Plus, he wasn't stupid. It says OBGYN on her door and there's only one reason we'd hide that.
"If you want to show me," he said.
"I mean if you really don't want to, I won't force you to," I teased.
"Give the man the picture," Dimitri said from beside me. I knew he was just excited to show it off too. The only other person that knows right now is Lissa and I don't plan on sharing it with anyone until we hit 12 weeks because that's when odds of miscarriage dramatically decrease. I grabbed the picture and handed it to him.
"All I see is a blob," he said as we got into the elevator.
"The blob is the baby," I laughed. Dimitri reached over and pointed it out to him and explained it.
"Oh I see it," he nodded seriously. I pulled my phone up and snapped a pic of the two men looking so seriously at a sonogram picture. I laughed as I sent it to Lissa.
"What's so funny?" Dimitri asked. I just shook my head.
"Men." At that they looked at each other and then me looking dumbfounded. I laughed harder.
A week later we'd just wrapped up a show, our last one for the next 3 days, when Dimitri received a call. I was just stepping out of the shower when I heard him answer.
"Hey Jake, what's up?" he asked sitting on the edge of the bed. Jake said something that I couldn't hear before Dimitri replied. "I'm sorry man but it's like I told you earlier, I can't…I know, I'm sorry but I'm not leaving again. She'll have to get over it and just trust your instincts…you can email it to me and I can give it a listen and see what I can do from here."
At that I walked out of the bathroom having finished getting dressed. I grabbed the phone from his hand. Dimitri was too shocked to stop me, not that he probably would have.
"Hey Jake, it's Rose. Dimitri will be there tomorrow."
"You sure?" he asked hesitantly. Dimitri shook his head no.
"Positive. I'll make the arrangements myself if I have to. He'll be there. Have a great night," I said then hung up.
"I'm not going." He said sternly.
"Comrade. Your friend needs help. Am I ecstatic about it? No, but, he needs help and you're the best. He's still new. He needs the best helping him out."
"You know it's for Brittany right? The one you hate…"
"I don't hate her…I don't even know her…I just thinks she's a princess that needs to get over herself and not flirt with taken men."
"It doesn't really matter because I'm still not going. I'm not leaving you with everything going on," he said standing up and going over to the dresser.
"We can't pause our lives. You can't be with me 24/7. The tours almost over. When we get back you'll have to go back to working on other albums which means, you won't be with me all the time then. At least here I'm pretty protected. I won't go anywhere without Butch and Chuck-"
"Charles" he corrected taking his clothes into the bathroom as I talked.
"Chuck is short for Charles. Besides he secretly likes it. Anyways, I won't go anywhere without them. Besides most of that time I'll be on a bus. How dangerous could that be?" I asked following him into the bathroom.
"You could crash," he pointed out putting toothpaste on his toothbrush.
"I could crash if you were here. Nice try. Think of this as your do over."
"So, I have to go prove myself?" he asked with a smirk as he started to brush his teeth.
"No, I'm just saying. Look I don't want you to go either but if it was one of my friends needing help, I would want you to support me going to help them. I know you would. You would encourage me to. That's what I'm doing. I'm trying to be the bigger woman."
"What if I don't want to?" he asked spitting out his toothpaste and rinsing his mouth out.
"You can't say no to a friend in need. I know you. You have a savior complex."
"I don't have a complex," he said turning around and looking at me crossing his arms over his chest.
"Tell that to the westerns on your nightstand."
"They're good books," he defended.
"Ok. You're going though. Plus, all I'll probably do is sleep. Between that and the morning sickness, I'll be no fun to be around," I told him. the pst couple of days, this pregnancy had caught up with me and I found myself getting sick more often and so tired. On show days, I don't really have the luxury of taking naps, so I plan on using the next few days to make up for it.
"I'm not," he said putting his hands on my hips and pulling me over to him as he sat on the toilet. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and started playing with his hair. "Besides, I don't want you here sick by yourself."
"Dimitri Alexander Belikov, your friend needs help. So, get your ass to LA and help him. I will be perfectly fine on my own. If it gets too bad, I have Sydney and Stephanie to help me out but so far it hasn't been that bad."
"Why do you care so much?" he asked. "If you're driving you can't ask them for help. Plus, you're too stubborn to ask them."
"Because one, I don't want to hold you back. Two, you want to you just don't want to admit it. You're just worried but, I'm going to be fine. This is what you do. What you're good at. I'm not going to let your fear stop you from doing what you love. You love producing and helping people. So, go do it. I'll have Butch and Chuck plus I'll be travelling most of the time…and hopefully writing. We need a few more songs for my album. Plus, we don't have to be together ALL the time. We work in the music industry, that means there's going to be times we need to travel without the other."
"Yes but I was thinking we could hold out on the travelling apart until there's not a stalker coming after you."
"Comrade, it's like I told Abe the other day, we don't know how long this is going to be. It could be months. We can't put our lives on hold. You said you trust Butch, you trust Chuck, and you trust me right?" I waited till he nodded but cut him off before he could speak again. "I'm not going to do anything that would put me at risk. I'll never be alone. Except on the bus. I'll be fine."
"Fine, I'll go under protest. But if anything what so ever happens, you call me and I'll be on the first flight here."
"Protest noted." I told him playfully poking his nose. He tilted his head up and playfully caught my finger between his teeth. I laughed. "Ow."
"Baby," he teased back then kissed the tip of my finger. "Better?"
"Much. Now, take a shower, you stink. Plus, you're leaving early so you need to get to bed."
"I don't like leaving you right now," he said soberly his hands coming back to my hips, his thumbs caressing my stomach.
"We'll be fine. I promise. Go do your thing and make the princess sound great. Lord knows she needs help."
"Be nice. She's not that bad. Though she did apologize for being bitchy only to hit on me right after so not the greatest person," he smirked.
"She hit on you? You left that part out," I asked, when I saw the smile play on his lips I realized I was playing right into his hands. "Nope, not going to work. You're not going to get me to change my mind on you going. I trust you. Just because I don't trust her, doesn't mean I don't trust you to stop her advances. Good try though. Low blow though."
"Sorry, I had to try. She did though. She said it's hot how protective I am of you and our relationship."
"Well I guess I can't be too mad about that cause she's right."
"Oh yea? It's attractive that I'm over protective?" He smirked.
"A little bit yea. Though it's also incredibly frustrating and annoys the crap out of me. It's just nice knowing that you care so much about me. I've never had anyone try to take care of and protect me like you do. It's definitely hot." When I was done talking he grabbed my head and pulled me down for a searing kiss that left me breathless.
"Fuck. I'm not even sure how to respond to that. Some days I could kill Stan myself for not being the dad he should have been."
"I never needed him to take care of or protect me because I've had you pretty much all of my life. Plus, I'm like a tiger, I don't need protecting. I'm bad ass Rose Hathaway. But it's nice when you try."
"Try? Tiger? There's so many things wrong with everything you just said. You were a child, you needed him to be there and show you what a dad should be, which is exactly what I intend to do for you and our little bean here. I hate to tell you though, you're not quite a tiger. Maybe a feral tom cat," he smiled.
"How about we compromise and say a bob cat? Deadly but, not the fiercest. Maybe a panther?" I teased. "Also, I really need you to not say stuff like that if you want to actually get in the shower."
"What? About how my dream is to show you and our baby exactly what a father should be. Something neither of us had but I intend on fixing for her or him," he said lifting my shirt and placing kisses on my stomach.
"Yea, things like that," I said breathless not having a witty comeback.
"If it makes you feel any better, you threw the shower out the window the moment you played on my protective instincts," he said standing up and pushing me against the wall to kiss me again.
"Oh, is that what turns you on? Being my big bad protector?" I gasped as he started kissing down my neck.
"Hell yes," he said against my throat. I grinned. Dimitri didn't cuss often so getting him to let out two in just a few sentences was an exciting challenge. I liked seeing him lose control like that.
"Hero complex for sure," I taunted gripping his hair.
"The only hero I want to be is yours," he said lifting me up and carrying me out to the bedroom.
"Done." I panted. Clothes scattered as his already waning control snapped at my statement. "Need you."
"Don't worry babe, I'll take care of you."
"You always do," I told him honestly.
After, I was laying there while he finally went to shower. I know I encouraged him to leave but, I only did it because I knew he wanted to. It doesn't mean that I'm excited about it. I wasn't lying when I said I trusted him but, I definitely don't trust her. Plus, I wasn't looking forward to sleeping alone. That being said, I feel like I'm too dependent on him and I don't want to hold him back.
"You look like you're thinking too hard," Dimitri said from the doorway, I jumped a little, not having noticed the shower turn off.
"I'm just thinking that as much as I want you to go, I'll miss you when you're gone. I'm also thinking that since that concert the other night, despite everything else going on, I feel like there's a weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm not sure how or why but, I do."
"Have you heard from Peyton?" he asked coming into bed beside me.
"She's texted a couple of times. She thanked me again for what I told her backstage then for the song. I told her to stop thanking me, I meant everything I said. Then I checked in again with her yesterday. She's got a long way to go but, I'm hopeful for her."
"Well maybe helping her is what's helping you."
"I think you may be right."
"Well, I'm always right."
"Yea, yea," I laughed humoring him.
"Things are looking up for us Roza, I know we still have a lot going on with the stalker and trying to figure out if it's related to the pictures and accident plus, I know you've been trying to hide it but you're still not fully excited about the pregnancy. I think we're getting there though. I'm hopeful again. Before you came back, I didn't think I'd feel hopeful or really excited about anything again."
I sighed as he pulled me into him and I laid on his chest. "It kind of scares me."
"Me too but we've got this. I'm not letting anything happen to you or our baby," he said tightening his arms around me. I kissed his chest and sighed as I drifted off, content for the first time in a while.
The next day drug on. Dimitri called me as soon as he landed, he also texted me several times throughout the day. Around 8 pm I was on the bus writing on my bed when I received a random call from a number I didn't know. A part of me didn't want to answer but my curiosity got the best of me.
"Hello?"
"Bet you think you're hot shit now huh?" a deep computerized voice said on the other end. I almost laughed at how it sounded exactly like one of those voice changers in movies.
"Not really. I'm going to go ahead and assume when I ask who is this, you're not going to tell me?" I asked feigning confidence when I didn't really have any. I was torn on what to do. The only other person on the bus with me was Butch but I know if I tell him, he'll tell Dimitri and Abe and that will open a whole can of worms I'm not ready for.
"You'll find out soon enough."
"Because that's not vague at all," I smarted off then immediately wished I could take it back.
"Listen bitch, do you ever get tired of playing the victim?" the voice asked.
"I don't really get what you mean but, why don't you tell me?" I asked trying to get them to talk hoping they would reveal something that would give me a clue about who they are.
"You know exactly what I mean and you'll get exactly what you deserve soon enough. Dimitri's not there right now, he can't protect you all the time. Who knows when I'll strike. You can't trust those around you as well as you think." Then the line clicked. My heart was racing but I still wasn't sure what to do. I peeked my head out and saw Butch still sitting on the couch reading a book. How did they know Dimitri had left this morning? It hadn't even hit TMZ yet and they're the first ones with information always. I quickly dialed Dimitri's number.
"Hey babe, what's up?" he asked answering on the third ring.
"Sorry to bother you, I know you said you were on a roll but I just needed to hear your voice," I said knowing that would make him suspicious but hoping I could play it off. if I told him what happened he would fly home and that's exactly what whoever was on the phone was hoping for. They want me to be scared and panic. Plus, I don't want them controlling us or our actions.
"You ok Roza?" he asked worry filling his voice.
"Yea, I'm fine. I just…I don't know…I guess I was just writing and I just kind of started getting anxious so I wanted to hear your voice. You always calm me down," I only partially lied. Does a lie of omission count as a lie? I mean yea, I know it does but…
"What made you start feeling anxious?"
"I don't know. It's probably these pregnancy hormones. Plus, you know I have a doomsday brain. When things start going well, I panic."
"Are you sure that's what it was?"
"Yea babe. I'm already feeling better just talking to you. How's recording going?"
"Eh. You know she's stubborn and doesn't like to listen to anyone's advice but, we're making progress. Do I need to come back?"
"No babe. I'm sorry I shouldn't have called you. I promise I'm fine. I just missed you. I know that's lame huh? You've only been gone for a couple of hours. I guess it just worries me that I have all this security and you're all alone."
"I'll be fine. Promise love."
"Ok, I believe you. I guess I should let you get back to work."
"I'm all yours Roza. You need to keep talking, I've got all day."
"No, I'm fine. Like I said, I'm already feeling better."
"You sure?" he asked.
"Yea babe. I'm sorry I worried you. I feel silly now but I'm fine. Get back to the princess so you can get back to me. Call me tonight before you go to bed."
"Ok. Roza?"
"Yea?"
"Call me again if you need to. Don't feel silly. And I miss you too so if you're lame then I am too."
"Love you comrade," I smiled.
"Ya tebya lyublyu." He replied. I hung up and laid back on the bed. I feel like I'm making a big mistake and part of me wants to call him back and go out to Butch and tell him everything but Abe will probably try to cancel the tour and Dimitri will rush back here. I knew if I sat here I would dwell on it but I couldn't tell anyone so I distracted myself by calling Lissa.
"Hey!" she said excitedly. "It's Aunty Rose."
"Hey, is now a bad time?" I asked when I heard her talking to AJ.
"No, we just finished dinner and winding down for the night. Want to talk to AJ?" she asked.
"You know it," I smiled. before any more words were spoken, the little icon for facetime popped up. I clicked it and quickly my screen was filled with AJ. "Hey bud! How are you?"
"I good." He smiled. "Aunty rose you coming to see me?"
"Soon buddy. It will probably be a couple of weeks but I promise as soon as I can, I'll make my way down there. How's school?"
"Its fun. I made a new friend. Emily. She shared her cookie with me."
"Oh a girl?" I teased.
"Roza, not like that!" he groaned. I was surprised how much better he was with talking. It's been a while since we really hung out so it makes sense.
"Oh ok," I laughed. We talked for a few more minutes before he got bored of talking on the phone and went to his room to play.
"So how are things going?" she asked.
"Good." I shrugged.
"Good?" she questioned. "How are you doing with the baby? You sent me pics but we haven't been able to talk since you're visit. Are you feeling any better about it?"
"Yes and no. Dr. O was really reassuring. She said she doesn't think it will happen again but that I'm classified as high risk in case. I feel torn. A part of me is excited because I wasn't supposed to get pregnant again. Another part feels guilty like I'm trying to replace Connor. Then the other part is scared that things are going too good and everything is about to crash again. It sucks because I'm not all in like Dimitri is and I feel bad when I don't get as excited as he does over things. I heard the heart beat and I mean yea it was amazing but quickly I turned the topic over to morning sickness. Then after I got dressed I realized that I kind of took that from Dimitri. He didn't complain but still…"
"Dimitri understands and I'm sure he was still over the moon the whole time."
"He really was. His response was…awestruck and it was wonderful. I should be feeling the same but I'm not. What if I don't ever get there?"
"It will come. Give it time. You're scared but eventually that fear will fade and the happiness will return full force. Right now, it's still new and hasn't really set in. It doesn't help that you have a stalker that's making you anxious already. That's already chipping away at your sense of security."
"Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell anyone else?"
"Obviously."
"The stalker called me today. I haven't told anyone."
"Rose you need to tell your security and Abe. Maybe they can track the number. What'd they say?"
"I can't tell anyone because Abe is trying to cancel the tour already and we're almost done. I can't cancel now. Also, Dimitri flew to LA this morning and if I tell him, he will rush back out to meet me and I'm not letting this asshole control our lives like that. They knew that Dimitri had left, said that who knows when they'll strike but it will be soon enough. They also said that I can't trust those around me like I think I can. I'm really thinking it's somebody on the inside. I don't know who it would be but, they know too much to be an outsider."
"Rose, that's scary. You really need to tell them."
"I will tomorrow. They used a voice changer, were only on the phone for like 30 seconds and I'm sure they probably were smart enough to use a burner phone. So far they've been really good at not leaving any traces of anything for anyone to find. I'm sure it's the same this time."
"Are you sure it's not best to cancel the tour?"
"On the tour, I have security with me at all times, they scan everyone for weapons, and there's always a ton of people so plenty of witnesses. Plus, if it's an inside job, going to LA or Georgia won't help because they'll know where I am anyways. There won't be as many people around then and I could be an easier target."
"I know I said I wouldn't say anything but you really need to tell Dimitri. I don't like him not knowing."
"I'll tell him tomorrow. Let him work then I'll tell him. He can rush back but what good would it do? I already have security with me. I'm really not going to leave the bus anytime soon. I'll be fine."
"Ok but, I don't know. Rose this is scary. I hate that you're going through this. Hopefully Butch's team will be able to get some answers soon."
"Hopefully. I just hate that I don't know who I can trust right now. I mean at this point, on this tour I can only say I fully trust 3 people outside of Dimitri. There's like 50 people on this tour. I mean I want to say I trust more but, can I really? Whoever this is knows when and where I am, what's going on, how to get into my dressing room…Luckily, they don't seem to know about the pregnancy yet."
"That's good. From what you said, it sounds like they don't like you and Dimitri together, who knows how they'd react to you having his baby."
"I know."
"I hate to say this but, are we sure it's not Tasha?"
"That was one of my first thoughts and I haven't ruled her out but so far, she's had an alibi for every time a package has been delivered. I'm not ruling out that she's not behind it and just working with somebody but we have no proof right now. The tabloids caught her with a new man a couple of weeks ago so it looks like she's finally moving on and she's been out of the country for half the tour."
"I hope for Christians sake it's not her. I would hate that for him so much."
"How's that going?" I asked with a smile.
"Good, I think he kind of asked me to move in with him when we move to LA."
"You think? Are you ready for that?"
"I think I am. I know it's weird because it's only been a couple of months but, I don't know Rose. I've never felt like this with anyone. Not even Aaron and I was going to marry him. Which also makes me feel guilty but Chris has been really understanding about it and helping me through it."
"I hate to be this person but, I know you loved Aaron but I'm not sure you were ever really IN love with him. Its ok to move on and be happy with someone else. I think Aaron would love that for you. He only ever wanted to see you happy."
"I think you're right. He really was a great man. I did love him but I think you're right. I don't think either one of us were IN love with the other. I hate that for him though."
"Babe, he was happy. I don't even think he realized the difference back then. You were kids."
"You're right."
"How is AJ taking to Christian?"
"Amazing! You know Aj is kind of shy with strangers but, he really has never been that way with Chris. Chris is even taking sign classes for him. Aj loves teaching him new signs and and hanging out with him. Back to the 'I think' he asked. We were discussing us moving out there and I was talking about how expensive it was and he mentioned getting a roommate. I told him that wouldn't be ideal with Aj plus it's not like I can't afford it. He said yea but I shouldn't live in LA and what if it was someone that wouldn't mind living with a kid. Then he got pulled into a meeting and we haven't gotten back to the conversation. Am I reading too much into it?"
"I don't think so. It sounds like that was where he was getting at. Geez he's such a woman though, playing around the topic like that. Aren't men supposed to be blunt and to the point?" I teased.
"Not nice Rose. He was probably nervous. He has trust issues and has never lived with a girlfriend before. I'm sure its not easy to make that adjustment."
"I'm just playing. I think that's great but, are you sure about this? I mean I know I'm biased because of who his aunt is. I don't fully trust him but, he has earned my respect."
"Are you like your mom just because you're related to her?" she countered.
"Touché."
"I don't know how to explain it but I really do trust him. I mean I'd really have to if I was even considering moving in with him, especially with Aj."
"That's good. I'm happy for you Liss. You deserve it. I'll work on trying to trust him more."
"Oh crud, it's way past bedtime," she said suddenly. "Hey I have to get Aj in bed. If you want I can call you back after? I was supposed to call Chris but I can push him off until tomorrow…"
"No, goput that baby to bed and talk to your man. I'll probably head to bed soon anyway. Let me know if he actually asks you."
"I will. Love you. Please be careful. Tell Dimitri."
"Love you too Liss. I'll be fine. Don't stress about me."
When we hung up I let out a sigh. Talking to her had worked at calming me down more. Convincing her that I wasn't in immediate danger helped ground me more. It's still scary as hell but, not panic attack inducing. I quickly decided I didn't want to be alone so I grabbed a blanket, my notebook and a pen, and headed out to the living room. Butch was in the same position, reading on the couch. I stood there waiting to see how long it would take him to notice me.
"You gonna stand there and stare all night?" he asked never even moving his eyes away from the book.
"Don't you get stiff sitting like that for so long? It doesn't look comfortable," I asked as I made my way over to the couch and sat on the opposite side, leaning against the back of the couch and arm facing him, propping my feet up.
"I'm fine." He said shortly. "I figured you'd be asleep by now?"
"Nah, I'm generally a night owl. I don't sleep much."
"I can tell," he nodded.
"I'm not sure if I should be offended by that or not," I smiled. He just shrugged. "So, I was thinking that I didn't really want to be alone right now. You mind if I come hang out here with you?"
"No."
"You're such a man of many words," I teased. "It's ok, Dimitri is like that with anyone not me or family. It drives other people crazy."
"He's smart," is all he replied.
"So, do you have anyone around you that you actually talk around?" I asked.
"No family," he shrugged.
"Significant other? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? I don't see a ring…" I looked at him analyzing him. Honestly, he was a really attractive guy. He's about 2 inches taller than Dimitri with an extra 30 pounds of muscle at least. He's big but not body builder, gross looking big. He shaves his head but almost always has a black ballcap on. Thick brownish red beard and bright blue eyes. He's definitely handsome. I'm surprised he hasn't been scooped up already.
"No, hell no, and never going to happen."
"You don't plan on ever getting married?" I asked.
"Most women can't handle my lifestyle and it's not changing anytime soon," he admitted.
"I can see that, I mean it must be hard. I don't know how I would handle it if Dimitri was always going around risking his life. Abe said you normally take the more dangerous cases. I think one day, you'll find a girl that will either be able to accept your lifestyle or make you want to change it and settle down. I bet you'll be married in 4 years."
"What do you want to bet?" he asked with a slight smirk.
"Is that a smile? Am I cracking you?" I teased. "$1,000. I bet $1,000 you'll be married in the next 5 years."
"You said 4."
"Well I think it will be within 4 but, if we're betting for real, I'm making it 5. If you insist its never going to happen that shouldn't really matter should it?"
"Deal. I can't wait to take your money," he smirked again.
"Wow, two smirks in one sitting."
"I know with your professionalism and everything you'll disagree but, I think it will be someone you're hired to body guard. But, she's not going to be one of those damsels. She's going to fight. She's going to be a spitfire. I get a feeling you're a hard guy to crack and that you'd be super bossy so you're going to need a girl with attitude." He raised an eyebrow at my assessment. "God, can everyone do that?"
"I would never touch a client."
"I'm telling you. I see it now. it's like one of those forbidden romances. It's going to be epic. I can't wait to say I told you so."
"You read too much romance."
"Eh I don't read a lot but, forbidden romances are my favorite. I'm just saying. A guy like you needs to be pushed, a sassy client of yours would be perfect for that."
"Since we're betting, I'll add another $500 when I prove you wrong."
"Make it 1,000 because I'm right. So, $1,000 when you get married and another $1,000 when it's your client. I'll take that."
"If at the end of the 5 years, the second $1,000 is null and void."
"You won't be but ok. Deal," I smiled sticking my hand out to shake his. He shook it and let out a full smirk this time.
"Easiest grand I'll ever make."
"You know if by year 4, you're still single, I'm gonna come scout some clients for you and give you a push," I teased.
"Nope, we already shook, wasn't in the agreement," he shook his head.
"We'll see," I smiled. He rolled his eyes.
"So, unrelated question. Abe said you normally take the more dangerous cases, why'd you take this one? It's pretty tame."
"As a favor to Abe. He wanted the best and I'm the best. I don't mind though. Sometimes it's nice to take a break from the other types."
"I feel like that's a lie. You're an adrenaline junkie. You like the danger."
"I used to. I'm getting older though, not as much fun as it used to be."
"How old are you?"
"36."
"Hmmm might even throw in an age gap romance in there…I can see it now."
"No." he stated.
"Don't worry, I wouldn't bet on that one. Just saying, I could see it," I told him. I could tell It was making him uncomfortable so I changed subjects. "So, How do you know Abe?"
"Pavel and I did some business with him in Turkey years ago. Now we both own our security firm and he still works for Abe."
"Oh. What kind of business?"
"Classified."
"Well damn. Does that mean you know Turkish?" I asked.
"I speak 6 languages."
"Do you know what kizim means? Abe keeps calling me that but I don't know what it means."
"Why haven't you just googled it?"
"I haven't really thought about it," I shrugged.
"I'd recommend googling it." he stated.
"Why don't you just tell me?" I asked. He shrugged but didn't answer and grabbed his book again effectively letting me know this conversation was over. "Ok?"
When he didn't answer I shrugged. "Ok well my phone is in the bedroom, I'll look it up later. Mind if I turn a movie on while I write?"
"Your bus." He stated.
"Yes, but you're a guest on this bus and stuck here for a while so if it bothers you let me know. I don't have to. I just like background noise."
"I don't mind. No romance"
"What do you like?"
"Action. Horror."
"Of course. I'm not watching a horror but we can see what action movies they have."
We ended up settling on a military movie. Of course. I attempted to write but kept getting distracted and gave up. Part way through Butch started pointing out the things that weren't realistic in the military. Not going to lie, some of his commentary had me laughing hard. about halfway through Dimitri called so we paused it while I went to talk to him. He was glad I wasn't holed up in my room alone. He also seemed relieved that I seemed to be in a better mood. That made me feel guilty but I didn't say anything. When we hung up, I went back out and we resumed the movie. I curled up at the end of the couch and before I knew it, was passed out.
"No!" I gasped, eyes snapping open as I reached out only to find the bed empty. It took me a minute to realize Dimitri wasn't here. it took me a little longer to realize I hadn't fallen asleep in my bed. Butch must have carried me in here. I waited for my breath to calm down as I replayed the nightmare again. This one was different than the others. Instead of a car wreck, I was sitting in the studio at the sound board with Dimitri when the door slammed open. I looked up to find a masked figure barging in. they shot Dimitri and he slumped over in the chair. I screamed as tears started falling, jumping up and putting the chair between me and the masked intruder. They laughed as they shot me in the shoulder then grabbed me and drug me out of the room. In the hallway I saw Abe and yelled for help. He shrugged and just said "I tried Kizim. You didn't listen." That's when I woke up.
As my breathing finally calmed, I grabbed my phone with the intention of calling Dimitri. As I grabbed it and saw the google icon, I remembered my earlier conversation with Butch. I clicked on it and went to translate. When I typed in Kizim my jaw dropped.
"Mother fucker!" I gasped.
