Hi, and here is another chapter, this one is short and I will warn you deals with death by vampire. I have a specific reason for taking Lena on this journey of self-discovery and I hope that you all understand why I had to write this chapter this way. I hope all of you are doing ok, I am working from home so I hope to update sooner rather than later so please keep in tuned for the final twelve chapters of this story.
Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.
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There In The Disappearing Light
Chapter 15-A Place In This World
Lena makes a rash decision that has a chain reaction that sets some deadly and devastating consequences for her, the Cullen Family and her future within that family. Quite short chapter.
She ran.
She had never been a good runner. More often than not she had tried desperately to get out of her gym class and curl up in the warmth of the library with a good book. She had never been a runner and in all fairness her boots (high heeled LK Bennett's curtsey of Alice) did not do her any favours.
She had no clothes, no laptop or books and no car keys and she had only her wallet and her debit card on her and she was not sure how good they would be in a crisis. She had no idea what she was going to do or who she was going to call but she knew her heart was splintering with each step that she took and every second that she could not hear someone coming after her.
It confused her beyond measure.
How could she be a daughter to Rosalie…to Emmett and yet they not come after her. How could she be a daughter to anyone? She had never had anyone stand up and say she was a part of their family. And Rosalie had thought it. She had not said it, she had though it and Emmett's inner voice had been full of confusion and worry and it had not been towards her. Nor had she been expecting it. She had not been expecting anything other than a roof over her head and now she was stopping and taking huge gulps of air the snow crunching under her boots she found now she was really examining her feelings she was not a hundred percent confident she would keep a hold of that.
She bent over the edge of a tree and then her knees gave out hitting the frosty grass and she realised where she was. It was the edge of the school parking lot. It had been a weekday, there was very little students around who were not cheerleaders coming out from practice, even the facility was gone, there were three cars, one a grey Audi that she believed might have been left by someone who had been sent home the same day due to illness and had not come back for it, the other two she knew belonged to the two bitches of the school practicing some perfect flip or what not. She watched them come out of the gym and curled her arms around herself watching feeling utterly dead inside.
Polly one of the cheerleaders who had always been giving her a hard time of late and Lizzie her rather sycophantic side kick were coming out of the gym their head tied back in that irritating high pony that cheerleaders always adopted that Lena had never had the time, the skill or the patience to learn because—well it hurt her head keeping her hair that high. She watched them and she knew when Polly caught her eye that it meant nothing but trouble.
"Hey freak…did the posh kids get sick of you?"
Lena snapped.
It was so easy, it was as easy as it was before. In fact it was even more easy than before because she knew was going on, she knew that she had to be in control, she knew that she had be smart and cover up what she was going to do and deep down she knew that it was wrong.
And yet she couldn't help herself.
Because it was just so good.
Perhaps she was always destined to fall.
A fallen Half-Vampire.
It sounded like it was something out of a novel that teenage girls read to themselves dreaming about who or what would make the perfect man. Lena had never been one of those girls who had dreamt about falling in love with the monster and reforming him so that she could get her happy ending.
No.
She was the monster.
She threw Polly against her car door so hard the girl stumbled downwards, Lizzie screamed but Lena had already sunk her teeth into her throat so that it came out a gurgle of blood and panic. In her last moments, her thoughts screaming but yet so easy to block out, her hands scrambled against Lena's hair. It was retribution, a fine way of dealing with the bitches who had made Lena's life hell for so long and a good way of ensuring that she could not go back. See if Rosalie wanted a daughter who could do what she was doing now. Lena did not deserve a happy ending out of all of this, Lena had killed before she had even been born, she was a killer, her father had been a killer, it didn't matter that she lived with people who claimed they were not killers. She had a nature that was hard to forget.
Why bother changing what she was?
She turned blood dripping down her chin, throwing Lizzie's body into the side of her car with a thud and a crash and a shatter from the glass. Polly was watching her, her eyes unfocused. Her mouth mouthed words for a second and then Lena had snapped her spine in two, her legs sagged and she was drinking from her as if she was a blood bag.
She threw the carcases away and then moved to destroy the security cameras around the parking lot. She stopped and smashed them until there was nothing left and then tipped the two bags upside down to see what could be used. Cash yes, a lighter, yes, that would make everything a lot easier. Phones not so much but she threw them in with the cars the bodies and then set the whole thing alight watching the two cars, the two bodies and the two lives of the girls who had bullied for so long go up in smoke from her perch on the hood of a grey Audi.
She didn't feel the same crushing guilt that she had done before. She didn't feel the need to call anyone. Instead she broke into the girls gym rooms and washed the blood off. There was little that she could do with the clothes but she found the gas in the corridor and then when she was ready set the building on fire. It was easier that way she thought, if the school went up along with the cars, easier to explain why the two cars, the two girls burnt beyond repair next to the back door where the fire started. She knew the people in this town, she knew how it worked in the grand scheme of things, she knew how the perfect mayor, with the perfect family and the mistress he saw on weekends would see this—this was a tragic accident that would not effect election year coming up. It was almost perfect in a way a perfect crime. The biggest blow would be the school's chances at the cheerleading nationals this spring. She could almost laugh at that one if the whole concept of emotion meant something to her at this moment in time.
She paused watching her handywork. She imagined a lot of kids would apricate this, the school burning down was like a dream come true for so many. Either way she didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. She was a vampire, a monster, something that was unfit to be loved.
It was damn time she started acting like it.
Though why did it feel so strange?
She hotwired a car, the grey Audi that she would leave at a conspicuous place and reached for the cash. How much would it take for a fake passport? Actually, who did you go to for that?
She knew if she tried hard enough she could find someone, after all just because this was Vancouver it didn't mean that fake ID's were hard to come by.
Four hours later as the sky was beginning to turn black and she had a new car and a fake passport in her pocket she finally, finally flipped the switch in her mind over so that she could hear what was going on.
There was a stark silence. Lena leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes against the sickly disappointment that flooded her. She wasn't surprised. She didn't know if she would ever hear from them again.
And then it came.
"Lena"
It wasn't Rosalie, it wasn't Emmett. It was Carlisle.
Lena sighed. Had it been anyone else she would have known what to do, but it was Carlisle who had never killed anyone, who worked as a surgeon overcoming the stench and the smell of blood, who had thought that she was worth something despite the fact that she had now once again put his family at risk.
"I fucked up"
There was a pause.
"I take it the school was your idea. For what it's worth you cleaned up for yourself admirably. Of course the gas company might be in trouble. That's two freak accidents in three months, even for a town this small in a city like this it's a lot"
Lena nodded closing her eyes again to block out the light that was coming from the world.
"For what it's worth Carlisle it was never my intention for it to happen. Suppose that's why I've got to go"
"Why? Lena you are not the first member of this family to slip up. Edward did, Jasper for many years, Esme…even Emmett—"
It was his name that made her mind up. She could never understand why, looking back she could never understand why at this moment it was his name that made her pause but it did.
"Don't"
There was another long pause. Then Carlisle tried again.
"Lena please do not feel like you have to leave this family because of any member. We all appreciate mistakes happen, as for Rose and Em…they will respect any boundaries that you want to put in place. Please don't let what you overhear in a conversation—" his thoughts twisted away suddenly and Lena took a breath, it would be easy, she thought, so easy for her to turn this car around and go home and face the music.
But she was a monster.
"I thank you for all that you have done for me Carlisle" she said oddly formal.
"But the reality is monsters don't get happy endings"
"Oh sweetheart. I cannot even begin to tell you how wrong you are"
"Maybe. But…but I have to figure that out"
There was another long pause. Lena could feel that clear cut rose tinted channel that was Rosalie in her mind sending messages. She tried to block her out but there was a huge amount of gaps in her gift and she had not the time, nor the patience to wonder about what that mean or to try.
"I suppose you have that right. But please know Lena that you have a home here. And please let us know if your alright. I wont stand in your way, I have never done that for any of my children, I will not do it now for you. But you have a home and a family here when you are ready"
And with that he was gone. Lena waited one second and then snapped the channel down blocking anyone who wanted to get into her head. It was a miracle she had made it this far, that she had not been pulled over, she was barely of age with a stolen car and no license nor was she sure she knew what she was doing when it came to the rules of the road. But she had made it this far. This far in this journey, this far in this life. She should not have survived.
But she had. She had survived this long, she had to keep going, away from the Cullen's, away from Embry, away from the demons.
With that she climbed out of the car, shouldered her school bag and walked without a second glance into the airport and to wherever it was that her place in this world would be.
I hope that you are all staying safe and that you all enjoy this chapter, hopefully I can update on time. Next chapter will be a short chapter as well.
Next Chapter-Lena goes on a travel spree to find herself and ends up getting more confused by the day. Eventually she realises there is one relationship she has to find peace with if she is to ever find her place in the world. This chapter will be entirely Lena's point of view.
