Chapter 16:

Read and Review (you'll get a snippet of the epilogue)

Previously on Memories of Me:

"We can't leave without her." Rosalie stepped closer.

"We won't leave without her." Esme insisted over her daughter before she had barely gotten the words out.

But Edward didn't hear what they were saying, didn't see who had wrapped themselves around him, holding him tight. All he knew was that his mate, his Bella, had chosen to leave him behind.

Again.

~M~

"I will look after you and I will look after anybody you say needs to be looked after, any way you say. I am here. I brought my whole self to you."

― Maya Angelou, Mom & Me & Mom

~M~

Eventually we all find ourselves at a crossroads, two choices readily available for us. A plethora of circumstances guides us to the whichever path will be taken.

It was the guilt that still tore through him as Edward remembered that he had followed Aro down the rabbit hole of her mind, seen her memories and done so willingly that made it easy to choose.

The path back to the old castle had called to him, but as he stood there, he chose to give her what she had asked of him instead.

Jasper explained that Bella would be staying back to rebuild a new guard, and all he had wanted to do was to run to her. Go to her and explain that he wasn't afraid of who she was, that he could help her.

But as the forest that surrounded their home in Forks, enclosed around him, Edward knew that if he was to one day be enough for her, to be her equal, he had to respect her choices. And so, he did. He followed his family home, letting the ice thaw until he was warm with the feel of how her hand had pressed against his face, how her lips had whispered secrets between the leaves.

She was gone, but as Edward swung his legs over a branch, high up in the trees, he knew she wouldn't be gone forever.

~M~

It was taking time. Hours were rolling into days and days had been filled with arguing that made Bella evaluate if this had been a good idea.

She sat on the ground, back pressed against the rough walls of the throne room as she heard Riley's second, Kristie, voice her concerns. Her voiced mixed with Marcus's as he hit back with the old rules, the old ways that they were trying to change.

This part, finding how this new guard would operate was taking the most time.

It hadn't been easy for Bella to send Jasper away with the Cullens, but as she sat there with voices echoing in her head, she knew she had spared them, at the very least, a headache.

Bella played over how Jasper had wanted to stay and create this new world with her. She had almost agreed before she realised that if he stayed, he would only take her back to Forks once everything settled down.

"How do you keep tabs on everyone when no one is willing to come forth with information?" Frustration leaked out of Kristie's voice. She was thinking like a fighter, keeping tabs of territory that you owned was smart.

Marcus, however, sighed from where he sat on his throne; he hadn't wanted to leave it, even to hunt. "When problems arise, people report to us. The whispers always find its way here." His hand waved through the air as he spoke.

"We don't want to operate only on the word of misfits and people who are to benefit from turning them in." Riley crossed his arms over his chest as he spoke up. "There should be mutual trust; none of this us and them."

Kristie nodded, blonde hair shaking slightly, "Everyone was terrified of the Volturi. If we could create relationships with people, let them know that all we want is for our secret to remain quiet, they won't plot against us." She smiled. "They won't plot to strike us down where we stand."

Bella moved her eyes to see if Marcus would flinch, to give away that he had registered what she had sniped at him.

The old man didn't move, didn't give her the satisfaction. "That fear kept them from killing in the open. You weren't here in the early days; you didn't see how blood would run in the streets."

Riley looked in her direction, could feel the plea in his eyes, but she kept her gaze on Marcus, thinking about what he had said. "How often do you have that problem these days?"

The mix-matched coven went still for a moment before letting time stumble forward. They weren't afraid; she just hadn't spoken in hours, allowing them to argue.

Amongst the small group, there were a few that could remember her from the days Alistair had been around. She hadn't seen them since she had left Riley in charge of all those territories, territories he had willingly given up to help govern a different world. When they had arrived in Volterra at Riley's request, Bella was surprised to see who had survived and who hadn't.

Slowly, the black, tired eyes, met hers with another sigh. "Not at all."

It was Fred, one of the younger boys who replied. "Then why do we have to rule the same way if we aren't dealing with the same problems?"

Riley smiled at him before uncrossing his arms. "He has a point. If we dropped the terrifying pretence, I don't think that anyone would take that as an invitation to run wild."

Marcus tightened his hands around his armrests. "And if they did?"

Kristie moved her fingers at her side, eager to speak. "Then we do step in. We go to them, talk to them, and if they don't respond well, we punish them."

Marcus watched as her smile stretched on her face, not letting his disappointment show on his features. "How is that different from my brothers?"

It was then Bella stood, dusting her hands on her legs. "We aren't going to spread fear and hatred. We aren't going to collect gifts, especially not gifts that can manipulate others into serving us." Her voice didn't leave any room for argument. "If there are people that want to join us, by choice, to make sure that our place in the world amongst humans remain peaceful, then we are going to welcome them with open arms." The fighters watched her with reverence. "If we create a place of belonging, people will come, and they will come willingly. Many of us were turned against our will." Their gazes turned solid.

Bella looked up, studied the small cracks in the stones, unable to make eye contact. "If we are to stop the fighting and the bloodshed, then we begin with a solid foundation." Her eyes dropped to meet Kristie's. "We need good, strong people on our side, that will stop and think before dealing out punishment. I remember being disciplined; do you?"

Riley didn't move a muscle as his second responded with a tight nod. He knew that she escaped from her creator and joined ranks with him when he had taken the town she had been stationed at to protect.

Marcus leaned forward slightly, filling the whole room with dread. "And what will be the punishment for those who disobey?"

Stepping forward, nearly mirroring his sire across the room, Riley spoke. "They join our side, fight for our cause."

It was green that sparked within the young man's chest as Marcus looked at him. He could see the goodness within him burst to life as he continued to speak. "We create a team, anyone who wants to join us can. They can come from anywhere, gifted or not, as long as they want to keep the scale balanced; make sure that humans aren't plucked from homes and streets. We build from within first, create enough trust that those who have been hurt or changed or have nowhere else to go can come to us. There aren't any rules that say we have to stay in this castle; we can spread out, create branches."

Bella watched him; head tilted slightly.

"If anyone causes trouble, they do time with us. Help us protect rather than harm."

The green spiralled before Marcus' eyes. "And when they don't want to do their sentence?"

"Then we hold council," he moved to start pacing before stopping himself. "Then we call you and Jasper and Isabella. The choice of their punishment can be up to you three. A fairway to decide what to do."

When he finished speaking, his eyes rested on Isabella. She could feel the passion that danced within his eyes. She had known that he was tired on the fighting; had known this, but still was surprised by how optimistic he was that he could create a better, more just world.

Bella kicked a boot against the floor before she let her mouth form a smile. "I will come when you call me."

On the dais, Marcus stood as he spoke. "As will I."

The sun almost brightened in response.

~M~

The shadows were their friends as Riley ran beside Isabella. He had wanted to hunt before they went head to head with Marcus again. Ironing out every detail would be on the agenda for days to come.

The outskirts of the main town held smaller communities, everyone walking around in groups, laughter filling the air. As they stopped in an alleyway out of the way, Riley turned to watch Isabella as her eyes followed a group of young children pass across the small square.

A slight breeze passed by them, causing her hair to move where it had rested on her shoulders. "Will you go back to the South or will you lay down roots here?" Her voice followed the breeze.

Each hair was clear to him as it danced in the wind. "I think we'll stay here just long enough to spread word before going home. I have," he paused, shaking his head. "I have never been outside of the states. I want to take advantage of the time away. A lot of us haven't seen what else is out here." His voice sounded younger than usual.

In the sunlight, one of the children dropped the ball they had been playing with, Isabella watched as the others rushed to help her.

She didn't break her gaze; her nod was all he needed to know that what he said was understood. She knew very well how sheltered the sixteen vampires, Riley included, had been. A vicious cycle that begun way before her, but she had partaken in herself; changing, using and then disposing of newborns as if they were nothing but playthings.

Her mind dragged her back to the day she had stolen Riley away; how she had injected him with her venom and let him scream to his heart's content. The memory took her vision, replaced it with the confession that fell from his lips. I'm afraid. She hadn't left his side for the rest of his transformation.

"I will stay with you."

Disagreeing with her would have been a waste of time, so he took another route. Leaning his shoulder into the cooled brick, he asked, "Where will you go once people know about us?" The answer was obvious; he knew that she would want to go to that little, green town.

Turning away from the scene in front of her, she faced him. The little smirk that threatened to dance from his lips was all the reason she needed not to acknowledge what he said. "I know you think that I have placed this burden on you, but I will not abandon you, Riley. Not with something you would never ask for." She fought against the thoughts she had just escaped.

Taking a step back, he leaned his back against the wall to steady himself. The voice that fell from him was soft but determined. "You raised me, Isabella. It wasn't Alistair that taught me how to fight and survive battles. You shielded me from things that you couldn't protect even yourself from." He could feel each brick through his shirt. "I've been your friend for a long time, but I've respected you for much longer than that. You didn't just turn me; you saved me." Neither of them acknowledged as his voice cracked. "If you had let me go into the crowd, never giving me a second glance, I would be dead right now. There are so many others out there that are in that same position and not all of them will have someone like you." His throat bobbed. "I could be that for them. You've done more than enough, suffered more than enough. You aren't abandoning me; I want you to go."

A tilted head was all the acknowledgment he received.

Her hand shot out to grab the back of his neck. She held him tightly in her grasp, but he wasn't afraid. Black eyes met black eyes; sire met sired. "If anyone can defy the odds, if anyone can make this god-forsaken plan work; it's you." Her grip tightened. "I am so proud of you, Riley."

His eyes fell shut, her words washing over him.

"Go feed; we have work to do."

When he opened his eyes again, she was gone.

~M~

Summer had begun to bleed into Autumn. The days of heat and sunshine were wrapping themselves up earlier and earlier. The southern fights that had run up and down the streets of Volterra with joy in their hearts had warmed the once cold castle for the first time in years. It wasn't all fun and games, however. Riley had sent his people to meet with contacts Marcus had recommended, asking them to spread the word; a new dawn was approaching.

Kristie had already gone back home. She had decided that she would be the one to tell those fighting in the wars that there would no longer be the same bloodshed. Not because of hunting territory anyway. When she had set off, they had all known what a difficult job she had in front of her, but no one dared stop her as she said her goodbyes and swore to meet them again once they got home.

When Riley's people had come back from all over the continent, they had not only passed along the news, but some had brought back vampires with them. Vampires who believed in what the new guard stood for were beginning to find them.

When discussing a new name for the guard, Riley had asked Isabella, but she had simply shrugged and said that it was his guard, it was up to him.

They had been speaking in the throne room, and so he had taken one look at the dais and measured the imbalance of power those thrones represented. Moving his eyes, he took in his friend and saw how her shadow fell across the steps, unfaltering. He could feel her stare, strong and powerful before him. It was easy for him to meet that stare and smile. "The Sentry." A nod followed his words. "The Sentry Guard."

Bella moved her hand to her heart, taking in what he was saying. "A soldier to keep watch."

He took her free hand in his own, his fingers curling atop his unbeating chest and nodded. "Now it's my turn."

Their hands held firm.

~M~

Marcus had finally chosen to leave the throne room, opting for his bedroom, far above that of where Bella stood.

She hadn't touched any of the thrones since she had sat on it, just for a moment, only to rest.

The vampires that she had tried to get to know over the months she had been in this castle were out. Whether they were hunting or just messing around, it wasn't her business anymore; she wasn't in charge of this group, she just was.

The three thrones that sat empty on the dais in front of her. At the bottom of the steps, she let her mind wander to a small town. How many months had passed since that day in late May when she had visited Forks?

One at a time, she walked up the steps.

If they were still playing their game of human, they would all be in classrooms now, learning things that they had discovered a hundred times over. She wondered if they were content playing the same roles that they had cast themselves.

She touched the arm of the throne that sat in between the other two.

The Cullens lived very different lives to the lives she had known for herself. They loved each other with a fire that shone bright; she had never loved anything other than the feeling of power.

As she circled around the throne, she corrected herself. Power was good, a drug she would miss dearly, but it was one of the many things she would trade in a heartbeat. A caress of his hand on her face, a kiss to her cheek, the feel of him next to her; she would sell her soul to feel those things again.

She stood in front of the glory that once was Aro's throne, so close that her knees touched the gold. Riley would happily give her this space, give her anything, all of it if she asked.

For a moment, she had considered it; telling him that she wanted to belong amongst all the others who were finding a home for themselves. Not because of the walls surrounding them, but because of the people. The throne was beautiful, smooth to the touch. She could see herself sitting here, making sure that no one ever again felt the same weight that Aro and his guard had put on her shoulders.

She turned and lowered herself to the ground. Sitting on the floor just before the throne, she leaned back. The throne had once held power and might, now it was just a chair in an empty room.

Bella could imagine herself belonging here, yes, but she knew within her heart of hearts that she had already found her people, her clan. Somewhere over the ocean, there was a family that had a bronze-haired son who could one day love her if she pulled herself up by the bootstraps and made her way to him.

She didn't consider herself a coward, not as she pressed herself into the metal at her back. The feel of Aro's throat against her teeth came back quickly. No, she was needed here or lat east she had been needed here. Riley and the new guard didn't want to follow the same path the Volturi had; they had needed every word Marcus, and she had said and taken it to heart.

The metal turned to daggers against her back. She had overstayed her welcome. A grimace passed across her face as she digested what she already knew.

Black ash had once covered this entire room. There was never a need to know who had cleaned it up, and she could admit that she didn't care. The sight of the clean room had been all the incentive she needed to slip out of the monstrous mindset that consumed her.

Bella hadn't had anyone to confess her sins to and the weight was piling up fast. Riley would only reassure her that she had done everything needed. Jasper wasn't here and no matter the number of times she imagined telling Edward, she still wasn't sure of what his reaction would be.

The sun crept into her consciousness from the small windows that lined the very top of the room. The dust seemed to dance before her, and Isabella knew that as much as she was welcome here, the months that she had hidden away had been more than enough. Never one to run from a battle, Isabella chose to stand and say goodbye to the comfort she had basked in.

Over the years, she had told more than enough newborns that you could not grow while still in your comfort zone. Her body moved from the ground; it was time she took her own advice.

Stepping through the dust, the sunshine and the memories that littered this room, she made her choice.

~M~

Isabella Swan sat on a branch overlooking the Cullen household. Her legs didn't swing below her; her body was unusually locked up, causing her to be still in the tree. The Victorian mansion was precisely as she remembered it; beautiful and inviting.

Time had rushed forward, leaving September in its wake. The house was mostly empty save for Esme and Carlisle. From across the treetops, sharp eyes watched as they moved with a carelessness that almost encouraged jealously.

The clouds above had begun to rumble; rain was surely going to fall soon.

There was no way that Bella could walk up to the house and knock on their door. So much time had passed, she had abandoned them without so much as a goodbye. She had chosen to stay behind and help, a choice they would no doubt be understanding of, but it still didn't sit right with her.

Not one to repeat a mistake, Bella made sure to have taken her time saying goodbye to Riley. Saying goodbye to him had felt final somehow. He had held her close and thanked her again; his friends had all had very appreciative emotions of their faces. The uncomfortableness of the situation was enough for her to realise that she was making the right choice. They didn't owe anything to her; this was all them.

Bella reminded Riley that if he ever needed her, she would come; both Jasper and she would. He merely nodded and said everything with his eyes. Their conversation in the square flashed before she turned to leave with a genuine smile on her face. Backing away from the castle, she answered each of their waves with a wave of her own.

Marcus had stayed hidden away, but she knew that they would undoubtedly meet one day again.

The heavens opened, demanding Bella's attention in the present. The cold rain crowned her brow, forcing her to contemplate how she would walk back into their lives and expect them to accept her with open arms.

The water soaked her clothes as her options came to mind. She could either knock on the door and wait inside with Esme and Carlisle until their children came home or she could go to the school again. She could burst through the cafeteria doors and- and what? Beg for forgiveness with all those children around? She didn't see that happening. Going to the mansion would be the smarter choice, but she didn't want to face the disappointed looks of both of Edward's parents. Turning her back on him for the second time wouldn't be as easily forgiven as the first. It would take more than words to prove how much she had missed him during their time apart; time apart that she had chosen on both of their behaves.

The cold water seemed to run beneath her skin. It was incredible how fear could captain choices. She was willing to get on her knees and beg Edward to forgive her. To forgive each second that she had enjoyed, savoured the feeling of revenge with a smile on her face. Parts of herself, parts she was still ashamed of had spilled forth without so much of a second thought.

Perhaps she would wait until he came home with his siblings. Wait until he was in his room, she would knock on his window and-

Someone was climbing the tree she was sitting in. Tilting her head, Bella leaned forward to see who would possibly be foolish enough to disturb her.

In her chest, her heart sputtered.

Swinging himself up, Edward wrapped his legs around the branch that Bella had been sitting on for who knows how long.

Before a single word could escape his lips, she moved to him. Her arms and legs wrapped around his frame, instinct driving her actions. She savoured every second of his body and scent, just in case he pushed her away; revolted and disgusted.

When he spoke, however, there was a smile in his voice. "You're back in Forks."

She nodded into his neck, not believing that he had somehow come to her, instead of the other way around.

Above her, his voice sounded again. "How long have you been in this tree, Bella?"

There were no words that could force themselves from her lips when he said her name. All she could do was press closer to his body; savouring every single moment of him.

The rain kept falling, unrelenting but he didn't let his hands slip from where they had found a home around her body. The forest came alive with the storm, but Bella didn't care. She could have spent the rest of her life within this moment, before words spilt from each of them changing what each touch meant.

She inhaled deeply, convincing herself to speak. "How did you know I would be here?"

He fought the urge to lean forward at the sound of her voice after all this time. Moving his hand down her back, he said, "My love, did you really think I wouldn't know if you were close by?"

Her eyes pressed together even harder. Those words, those very words were every prayer she had uttered come to life. There was nothing but him in her heart. "I missed you so much." She pulled herself from his neck, still holding him in her hands, as tightly as she could manage. "So much, Edward." These past few months, yes but the years that she had disappeared the first time as well.

He took in her features as their bodies parted slightly. He had every intention of confessing how much he missed her in return, but shock distracted him. "Your eyes are gold."

Through a shaky sigh, she nodded. Edward's reaction, his happiness at the fact that she had gold eyes after all these months, made her choice to change to animal blood worth it.

His tongue ran across his lips as his gaze dropped further down her face.

Recognising that look in his eyes, she moved her hands to his face; lifting him up to meet her so he would understand completely what she was to say. "I-"

He interrupted her.

There was nothing more important as he gently pulled her closer to him. Their lips crashed together with the desperation of two lovers that had been kept away from each other. The compassion of two lovers who never imagined that would share another kiss again. As their lips moved, a thought crossed Bella's mind; perhaps Edward was just as worried that they wouldn't fit back together.

Bella had tortured herself over the fact that she had left him again. Her only saving grace had been knowing that it was her shame that kept them apart. If Edward had been worried she had left because of him- she cut that thought down.

Pressing closer, she let her body ask for forgiveness. Her tongue darted forward, eager to taste her mate, to confirm that he was here in this tree, in the rain with her.

Breathes that neither needed tore roughly from both of them as Edward pulled away, one hand on her waist and the other on her neck.

"How long are you staying for?" He asked her, short breaths chased after his question.

Bella placed a hard kiss to his marble jaw, lingering for a moment before saying, "As long as you'll have me."

Her mate looked at her, meeting those golden eyes that he was happy to see. "Forever then." His smile brightened.

Water dropped from their lashes onto their faces.

Bella nodded her head quickly. He digested her reaction and tucked that nod away between the folds of his heart, happiness melting beneath his skin.

Dragging a finger across her jaw, he held her close face, skin to skin. "I thought you had left me again."

Shaking her head quickly, she tried to explain how it had been because of her actions, not his. "I left you, yes." His eyes stared at her; every emotion that ran within them was clear as water. "I didn't mean to hurt you again but," she hesitated before running her fingers through his hair. "I'll admit that I was afraid." A lifeless chuckle left her as her fingers made their way through those bronze strands again. She knew that this was her second strike, that she had pulled this before.

The arms that held her tightened in response to her admission encouraged her to speak. "I was afraid you would see me as I was and would leave anyway." Her hand curled around her nape of his neck. "I made that choice for you." Forcing herself to maintain eye contact, she kept going. "I'm sorry."

Pressing her forward gently, he rested his forehead against hers. "Bella."

She mirrored him, the hand at his neck moved him closer. "Forgive me." The rain surrounded only them. "Please."

Edward knew that he could have expressed every inch of hurt that he felt and she would listen. Heart open and ready to make amends, but instead he smiled softly, lips twisting up.

"There is nothing to forgive." Pulling back slightly, he followed the water down the side of her face with his hand.

Her head shook in the rain. "This is the second time-"

His crooked smile didn't falter. "At least this time I had memories of you."

Bella moved her hand so that it covered his where it rested on her cheek. "Memories of me." She muttered softly. All that remained in her chest cracked open at his honesty, his bravery to say what he meant.

Following his lead, she lowered her shields and let him see how she had wanted him by her side every moment that she was in Volterra. Every hidden doubt and fear were laid before him, ready to be devoured.

Edward kept his eyes connected to hers at he took in what she was offering.

The work she'd been doing hadn't been enough to distract from the ache that had vibrated within her. They had been apart for too long, all at her request, she knew.

Edward knew there were no words that could make her understand that he had felt the same way. Gold met gold as he leaned in to press his lips to that beautiful mouth.

"Bella." She gave him her entire focus. The rain faded away, the storm above them simmered to the background. "My sweet Bella, I would have waited an eternity for you."

Venom burned her eyes as Edward took in her reaction. Kissing her jaw softly, he pulled away to meet her eyes again, hands never faltering. "I knew you would come back to me." Pausing slightly, he amended his words. "Hoped, that you would come back to me."

Her lips shivered in the rain. "Edward."

Her words were interrupted with another of his kisses, slow and passionate. A soft peck before it was his turn to confess. "I saw everything you showed Aro."

His words seemed to echo in the open air as familiar guilt stacked in his throat.

Bella tucked his wet hair behind his ear before kissing the side of his mouth.

I know. Another kiss followed her reply. I showed you.

His fell eyes shut. He had been worried, so worried that she wouldn't have wanted him to see what had been stolen from her that day.

Moving closer, he found solace in her neck.

Bella smiled as she let her fingers run through his hair, holding him close. Over his shoulder, she could see the rain around them, protecting them from the outside world. "Only you know me like that now."

From his position, Edward nodded in response; Jasper had told them exactly what had happened, how Aro had died.

The world around them was cold with the rain, but as he held her in his lap, warmth spread between the two.

"I'm honoured."

She let loose a laugh, but he pulled away. A protest almost escaped her lips before she saw his face.

"I mean it, Bella." Water dripped from his lips. "I am honoured that you trust me enough to keep your memories."

She shook her head at his words, but he was already speaking again. "My love, you are the most amazing person I have ever met in my life." Honesty spilled alongside the rain. "I am beyond honoured that you trust me with these parts of you. Whether you think them to be dark or not."

Bella knew what he was saying without saying the words. Lifting her hand again to his jaw, she ran her tongue along with her teeth. "Edward."

He gave her a chance to speak it into existence, but after a moment, it was clear that she wouldn't. He smiled softly and brought his face closer to hers. "My Bella." She swallowed, hands tightening around him. "I am in love with every piece of you."

Her eyes fell shut without her permission. How many times had she imagined those words slipping through his lips? A dry sob ripped through her body.

Without hesitating, Edward pulled her so close that they were almost one. Almost, not yet.

For a long time, they sat high above the forest floor, the rain embracing them.

He only let himself move again when, from her place by his throat, his mate let free the words that were his saving grace. The words that saved him from every single sin he had committed. I love you too. He could feel her lips as they moved silently. More than I will ever be able to say.

He breathed deeply around her, ready to respond when she let down her shields completely. Neither of them needed words as that wrapped themselves around each other, body and soul.

Your opinion is greatly appreciated and so is criticism :)

Check out Lasted Lover on my profile :) thanks :)

brittney x

sentry : noun

a soldier stationed to keep guard or to control access to a place.