Thank you for your patience, lovelies!


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'So why don't you say, say it out loud
All these things you hold inside of yourself
[…] I'll never let you feel all alone
But if you do I'll make sure you are standing on your feet
[…] But now you're gone, gone to the dogs
And I don't know you like I did'
"Gone to the Dogs" by KT Tunstall

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Chapter Sixteen

Shoobute

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The attack on the plaza had been unexpected and eye-opening, shaking the people's faith in Hoshido's untouchable nature. This invasion had struck right at its heart. No one was safe. That was painfully clear. The castle had to get back on its feet one day at a time. Construction had to be arranged, defenses tripled, the injured tended to. Our dead had to be honored.

Saya worked diligently, talked less, made more messes. The work here was physically easier than attempting to rebuild the library, but it wasn't pleasant. Watching her take inventory and scribble off orders so robotically left a sour taste in my mouth. She hardly touched the tea. I pressed a gentle warmth to our cups and left to deliver a message.

Entering a workshop of sorts reminded me of Orochi's comment on the puppets. Yukimura must have left them as another line of defense. And someone dismantled them. I was given a list of materials they needed to replace broken parts. Despite myself, I couldn't help examining these mechanists with a critical eye. Did Anankos slip one in? Atticus couldn't tell me. Merlin had mentioned something about the nature of those curses making them difficult for the inexperienced to pick up on. Otherwise hunting down a traitor would be a lot easier. I shook the thought away. There was nothing I could do about that. Best to focus on what I could do.

I returned to find Tomoyo inside of his wife's office. He had her hands clasped in his. Something like sorrow tinged his frown in the split-second it took to glance my way. It quickly morphed to anger as he shouted with a gesture, "Get out!"

"Just outside is fine." Saya's shoulders were hiked, but there was a fragile quality to her voice. It honestly scared me more than her husband's anger.

The halls bustled. I pressed my back beside the door, focusing on the castle's noises to avoid eavesdropping on a private moment. I thought about Tomoyo's expression. He still looked a little raw from the library fire. Had he come straight to his wife after being released? The man wasn't soft by any stretch of the word. But it was obvious where his heart lied. Mine went out to him, and to Saya, and to their kids. I should check on them again. I might've been trying not to look too deep into who was injured or killed in the incident. But I knew they were alive. I could risk the pain.

A voice down the hall caught my attention. There was Kioko, alive and well and giving instructions as she power-walked down the hall. I called out without thinking. She looked my way, then finished her conversation and approached. My hug surprised her. "I'm glad you're okay," I whispered.

"...I'm glad you are, too." She lightly pressed on my back. I gave her space as we moved out of the others' way. She searched my face. "...have you seen the library?"

I winced. "Yeah... It's awful. Of all the places..." The library and the infirmary building... It was like they specifically attacked the mind and the heart of Hoshido. With Mikoto's presence in the latter, they'd also gone for the head—or the soul. Anankos had truly gone all out, even with all of his secrecy. Did our visit to Valla instigate him into going farther than he would have otherwise? Or was it because Mikoto hadn't died?

"Without the protective magic, it was a good place to start a fire. But attacking the ill and injured as well—it's truly a despicable move." Kioko's expression turned to flint. "It's just like the Nohrians to use such underhanded tactics."

"But the barrier doesn't—"

"The barrier is down now, thanks to them!" The snappy reply caught me off-guard. Her face was red, her voice hoarse. Usually she was so unflappable. "Now all of Hoshido is open to attack, and... and now we have to bury our dead and prepare for war."

She was so upset. I struggled for words. Should I give her a hug? "Kioko..."

She blinked. Dabbing at her eyes with a sleeve, she muttered, "I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Wait!" I held out my list, asking, "Do you know where Saburou is?"

She halted. "What?"

"This list for parts—Saburou could run to the city and see if they have anything we don't here. He's really fast—but I know everyone's busy—if he's already doing something it's okay, I can go do it or..."

Kioko didn't stop my rambling, still trying to keep it together. But it was a battle she couldn't win. Trembling, she brought a hand over her chest. And my stomach dropped. "They... they haven't told you? I... I've been so busy, I didn't think..." No. Don't. "He... Saburou... during the invasion, he..."

No, this couldn't be happening. I could've sworn I'd seen him around the castle, running errands as usual. Had I just imagined it? My gaze darted around. She wouldn't be having this much trouble speaking if he was just injured. I hadn't seen him in the infirmary. Maybe she was wrong. "No," finally came out. Chin dribbling with tears, Kioko stepped forward to wrap arms around me. A part of me knew I should return it, to comfort her or find comfort in her. My arms were locked at my sides.

She tried to choke down a sob. "The Nohrians have taken... so many. We... have to keep working, so they haven't... haven't died in vain. So... so my f-father can—rest in p-peace."

It took everything in me to move and embrace her and let her cry. It was the only comfort I could provide. That damn dissociation was rearing its head again. Why was that always my response to trauma? What the fuck was wrong with me? Stupid question, I knew what was wrong. On top of that, there was too much going on right now, in my head and my heart. But I had to power through it all. Tamp down the fear and grief. For the others' sakes.

Kioko left long before Tomoyo exited the office. Keeping busy helped keep the mind focused on other things. The man gave me a dark look. "Make sure my wife eats and takes breaks."

"Yes, sir." My fingers grasped his sleeve when he turned. I ignored furrowing brows. "How are the others? From the library? Yoite? Mirai? Kimi? Kenchiro and Ikuyomi?"

He shook me off. "Quiet! They're just fine, now—let me get back to work!"

"Thank you," I called after him. Thank the gods. A beat passed. "Stay safe, and don't push yourself." He barely paused, dismissed my words, and disappeared into the crowd. I drooped. There was still so much to do. What was Tomoyo doing? Would he and Kioko be self-aware enough to take their own breaks? No, I had my own work to do. I had to trust they would, at most giving small reminders. Can't mother everyone.

Saya didn't look up from her work when I entered and placed the list on her desk. Her cheeks were red as if scrubbed dry. Furled parchment was pushed my way. "Take this to the infirmary. I'm still working on their order." I accepted it, then paused. Bristles swirled on the inkstone to paint across a scroll. She stared at her work until I came around the desk to hug her. The brush clattered. "What—what is this for?"

"You can do it. Whatever it is. I believe in you." I patted her shoulder and turned on my heel. "I'll bring us some snacks. And more tea." I wasn't going to let her work herself into the ground. I'll support her as best I can.

I could visit Daisuke and Akane while delivering the scroll, hit up the kitchens on the way back, and figure out how else I could help in the office. Once Daisuke and Akane were released, maybe they could lessen the load on their parents' shoulders. Then I could hunt down Kioko and see if she needed any extra hands. Probably... another runner. I could utilize the float spell for the reconstruction or for moving supplies. Ace and Atticus were sent to patrol the castle grounds. I strode down the hall, pushing down echoes of laughter and comments on my 'short legs' from my runner days. It was thanks to Saburou that I could confidently navigate the lower levels of the castle. His teasing sometimes got on my nerves, but he had never failed to lift my mood. I would let myself—force myself to—cry later. Holding it in forever was toxic. But for now, I had to show that he hadn't wasted his time on me. Instead of running from these things, I had to run towards them.

I'll try to keep up, Saburou.

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'Come speak with me when you're ready to talk.'

In the spirit of not running from my problems, I finally took Queen Mikoto up on her offer. Saya gave me leave to 'clock out early' as I put it. It was difficult not to be nervous with the cryptic offer. Not that I truly had anything to fear. I've proven my trustworthiness time and time again. The queen saved my life. This might just be a... little chat, or something.

It was just... strange. I had to view her in a new light after her stunt against the Faceless. She wasn't defenseless or naive. She'd seen the float sigil maybe twice at most, and managed to recreate it well enough for both Azama and herself. While unable to keep up the country-wide barrier, she had erected a much smaller one and used a rod offensively, without needing to write or carve anything. Light magic? I wasn't sure, but it certainly looked bright enough. That sort of power wasn't easy to dismiss, even if the person wielding it was always serene and smiling. Maybe especially because of that.

Atticus led me up several flights of stairs, to my concern. She had promised not to overextend herself. I can't mother hen the queen, of all people. That still wouldn't stop me from worrying. She could have used some more rest days. I guess we don't have that luxury anymore. Merlin's grimoire thumped against my hip as I climbed, drowned out by the clacking of spirit scrolls. Anankos could try again at any moment—or let Nohrians finish the job now. At least there was extra security up here. I followed Atticus past the double doors of the throne room, to the side room I'd had tea and dined with the royal family before. After a guard checked inside, I was given the go-ahead to enter.

And there she sat. Cup lowered soundlessly to the table, Mikoto inclined her head. "Hello, Ms. Megan. Please, have a seat." Orochi waved from her right, feline smile half-hidden by her cup.

It was surreal to sit beside the queen. Kamui would have told me not to be nervous around his mom, but it was just the three of us. I couldn't quite manage to joke that there wasn't enough room at the table. Still, I didn't shy away this time. Hands clasped in my lap. "Hello, Your Majesty."

Orochi grew serious rather quickly. "It's good to see you've recovered. Your magic has served you well."

"Merlin's magic, really." I couldn't take all of the credit. "Her training has helped a lot."

"I would say the student has proved more than capable on her own." The diviner tilted her head. "The picky prince made a good investment with you!" I snorted. Like I'm a racehorse.

Mikoto smiled. I couldn't help noticing how she stared. The nervousness grew. Picking up on this, she turned, dismissing ninjas I hadn't even noticed were in the room. "Orochi, could I trouble you to provide for our guest?" The retainer stood with a cheeky smile my way. The gentle clacking filled the room, swapping the awkward quiet with serene anticipation. Mikoto focused on finishing her own cup, allowing me a reprieve. Today's tea was gentle and faintly nutty. Brown rice? I had thought that was more of a poor man's blend, to stretch supplies. But it tasted really good. A little honey would've made the perfect cup. I sat there in silence, long enough for the warmth to seep through my gloves.

It was half-empty by the time I bit the bullet. "What was it that you wanted to talk about?" Beating around the bush was just going to freak me out more. Best to get it over with.

That warm gaze still held the weight of appraisal. She was so calm. This tea and atmosphere was probably an effort on her part to make me comfortable. I had wondered how calculating the queen was before. Was it still compassion if it was strategic? Her chin inclined a fraction. "I was actually wondering if there was anything you would like to talk about, Ms. Megan. You have been through quite the ordeal since you've arrived in Hoshido."

Maybe the squint was offensive, as was the incredulous, "You want me to vent to you? The queen?" I brought the cup back to my lips. Smooth. The warm liquid helped clear my throat. "I don't think I should use royalty as a therapist."

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't know what that is."

Damn alternate universes. "Basically, someone trained to provide the... mental and emotional support for someone else? They listen? Like a healer for the mind and heart. Where I'm from, people who want to be therapists go to school for years to understand the human brain and their emotions." I wasn't explaining this right. Pursing my lips, I concluded, "I'm not using my friend's mom, the queen, as a free therapist."

Kamui would've asked more questions. Every tidbit of knowledge on my world was like treasure to a dragon. But his mother simply nodded. "In that case, would you mind if I spoke freely?"

"Go for it. Uh, Your Majesty." Smooth, smooth, smooth.

Her lips quirked. Instead of diving straight into it, she went for her second cup of tea. I finished mine off, and immediately regretted it. My throat would get dry if we were going to be doing a lot of talking. Orochi, bless her, poured another.

"Kamui has put a lot of trust in you," Mikoto started suddenly. Despite the serious topic, she was nothing but welcoming. "Just as Corrin placed her faith in Merlin. I had the pleasure of speaking with the sorcerer at great length. I hoped we could do the same."

What I would've given to be a fly on that wall. I shifted my legs. "Sure. You can ask me anything, ma'am. I'll try my best to answer you."

She smiled. "Thank you, but I don't want to interrogate you just yet. I do have some observations to make, if that's alright?" I gave her the go-ahead, though my heart was pounding. She gestured. "You've also gotten along quite well with my daughter, Azura. She's shown me your friendship bracelet."

How casually she called Azura 'daughter' warmed my heart. I couldn't help smiling. "Yeah." It dropped when I remembered I'd missed the chance to talk to Azura. I'd put it off too long. What kind of friend did that? What if I never got another chance? I pushed it aside. Focus.

"It pains me to admit, but she's had a difficult time connecting with others. Like Sakura, she can be rather quiet. But she hasn't had the benefit of friends or even retainers to bring her out of her shell. My children have done their best to include her." As I grimaced, she amended, "Most of them. I'm afraid Takumi has never warmed up to her."

I sighed. A real shame.

"That reminds me. I have to thank you for your patience. I can imagine he hasn't made it easy to befriend him."

"We're friends?" That was news to me. Orochi cackled. A beat later, I backpedaled. "Not that I don't want to be his friend—I just didn't think the feeling was mutual? I—I'm annoying, I'm sure."

"I don't know about that." Smiling as if entertained, Mikoto countered, "You've had quite the number of shogi matches together."

"For lack of better options."

My mutter didn't deter her from making her point. "You can trust him to be honest. In actions, if not in words. I promise you, as his mother. He doesn't dislike you."

"Not-disliking does not a friendship make..." I straightened, clearing my throat. "I'm sorry, I'm not—criticizing him or anything—"

"So tongue-tied," Orochi teased.

"It's alright. I understand. You don't have my perspective." Mikoto clasped her hands over the table. "But he has developed respect for you, as has Kamui, and Azura. As their mother, seeing you getting together as a group, and often, has been a relief. Before, I hadn't thought it possible to see Azura smiling around other people. I know Takumi was upset during the first attack at the plaza, to have yelled at her so... Yet, he hadn't truly talked with her at all before. In a way, this was an improvement. I hope they will be able to work out their differences and meet in the middle."

"That would be nice," I allowed. I often wished for the same.

"I believe part of this is thanks to the trip you joined them on. Weeks on the road together have done what years in this palace could not. The encounter with Faceless was truly unfortunate..." It was hard not to fidget under her gaze. "But, I'm grateful for what the journey has given them." A pregnant pause followed this declaration. Both of them were watching me. I swallowed. Was I supposed to say something?

"I'm glad Azura's making friends." I spoke slowly, watching them back. "She's... she's a sweetheart. They're all good kids. People. Good people." They weren't that young. It still felt like they were kids though. Which made the approaching war more dreadful. Saburou... he had seemed like such a kid. A good kid. I swallowed hard.

Mikoto's expression was gentle, voice a murmur. "I'm glad you feel that way. Thank you for reaching out to her first. It must have been difficult in its own way."

I was worrying my lip. She was thanking me for all of these things. But it wasn't because I was a good person that any of it happened. It was all circumstances. My secret had spilled out, forcing Azura and I to be under Takumi's scrutiny. That led to the trip, which dragged his retainers and his brother into the mess. I had even brought Daisuke and Akane into the fold, endangering them and their family. None of this was worthy of gratitude.

I avoided her gaze. "It's not something I should be getting thanked for."

A clink as a cup was set aside. "On the contrary, I'm very thankful for everything you've done. When my son Kamui was in danger, you ran to his aid. You did everything you could to help him. You've faced a dragon, quite literally, to calm down my daughter Corrin. From what Kamui has told me, you saved him and Takumi from injury on your trip, and went to Ms. Merlin's aid. I wholeheartedly believe it was the intervention of you and Ms. Merlin that saved my life, and my son's. That is more than enough. Yet you continue to provide whatever help you can."

"No."

"No?"

My hands shook. I wanted to dispute that. But so much of my argument would require knowledge I couldn't share. Maybe I had helped her avoid her fate by getting Merlin to come with us. But I was just scrambling to patch up a sinking ship. One I'd neglected to protect from the iceberg I knew lied ahead, or to inform anyone else of.

"...I understand it's difficult to swallow praise that feels undeserved. You believe you could have done much more. Saved more lives. Prevented more damage. I understand that feeling very well." That was nice, very nice. But I didn't think she could absolve me of this. She doesn't know. Shaking my head, I did nothing more than glimpse at her. The gentle curve of her smile was encouraging. She could convince a cat to jump into a bath. "But you cannot control the ripples your actions create. Even the divine would have difficulty controlling the fate of every individual person."

"Not for lack of trying."

There was a pause. I realized what I said and kept my head down. Megan, you IDIOT. This is why you don't go to movies with friends—or have important, dangerous discussions with the queen.

"Yes, the divine can seem all-powerful, all-seeing... surrounding us, out of sight. It is in the nature of a god to be an enigma to their subjects. Many are worshiped for their power and knowledge. Yet, for all of their magnificence, they still want mortals to praise them. Otherwise, are they truly a god? It's much easier to control the fates of those who will listen, out of love or fear."

Planks clacked across from me. "Lady Mikoto?"

The queen chuckled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get philosophical over tea."

I wet my lips, still staring at my cup. Did I risk this? I just couldn't keep quiet. "Forgive me if this is... heretical, or anything, but... I don't believe in gods having power over all. They can be strong, and wise, but... but they're not invincible. They're not without their faults."

There was a pause. Had I said too much? The wrong thing? I peeked again. They were both staring. Granted, what else would they be doing? The anxiety didn't abate. One of these days, I was going to take a risk that would bite me in the ass later—in a way I couldn't recover from.

"Quite an interesting stance." Orochi sounded intrigued. No idea if that meant it was alright, or if she wanted to know the depth of my heresy. "Is that common where you're from?"

"...yes. Sort of. It depends." Dammit.

Mikoto giggled. "You can relax, Ms. Megan. Neither of us will lecture you on your beliefs. Even people who share the same broad ideology can have their opinions differ on how it should be executed." My shoulders were still hunched. Fabric shifted. "What are your beliefs, on the divine?"

Oh geez. I scratched at my chin. This was quite the discussion. "It's... not incredibly concrete. It's loose, I guess? I don't have a particular religion... just, spiritual beliefs. Like, your spirit summons are similar to what I imagined back home, just, more visible and obvious. I'm not saying there aren't gods out there, I just... I don't believe..." How to put this? At least they were allowing me to take my time. I had to figure out what they would understand, and what I wanted to say. "I don't think that should be standardized—the worship. And I don't think deities should be a 'worship or be doomed' kind of thing. Religions like that... It's not a healthy relationship, for anyone."

"I see. I'm intrigued by your perspective, as a person foreign to these lands. What would you suggest a worshiper does, if their deity exhibits that sort of 'unhealthy' behavior?"

You'd have a better idea on what to do than I would. Thankfully I kept that to myself. The cup grew more interesting the longer I stared. An earthy green, the sides rippling gently. I wondered who had made it. Porcelain? Clay? The difference was lost on me. I swallowed. "Stop worshiping. If the god gets violent... get out of there."

Orochi hummed. "Practical. That's a difficult decision, however. Abandoning a god. After all, they are the divine. It could prove impossible to escape them."

"It's not." Shit, that was too quick. I swallowed again. "I don't think so."

"You don't? Why is that, if I may ask?" Mikoto's words were tender, as if she feared upsetting me. Or she was biding her time. My heart hammered so loud I swore they could hear it. She commented, "Forgive my presumption, but it sounds as if you speak from experience."

She knows, she knows, she KNOWS. There was no way she didn't, with these pointed questions. Had Kamui shared my secret? He hated withholding information from his family. I shouldn't have told him. But wait, the Big Bad Secret wasn't related to me being from another world. Unless that was how he explained me knowing about it? How could he have told her anyway? The curse. Was I that transparent, then? Had I taken too many risks? Was she just taking a stab in the dark? Did she think I was Anankos' spy? Was Orochi preparing to arrest? Interrogate? Execute?

A hand startled me. But it only came across the table to gently cover mine. My gaze followed up the arm in trepidation. Queenly features strained by exhaustion and pain, Mikoto managed to smile. No doubt the fear was plain on my face. Did she want me to relax out of compassion, or the need for knowledge? I hated this uncertainty.

"Thank you, for humoring me. I understand it's difficult to open up to strangers. I appreciate the trust you've placed in us."

I've barely placed any in you yet. I worried my lip.

The queen continued, tone easing into a teacher's lecture. "There is a silver lining to the belief that the gods aren't infallible. It gives the hope that, if a deity were to wrong his subjects, there's the chance to resist. One whose heart is open to suggestions can be reasoned with. One who has shut himself off from his subjects can be overturned. This unfortunately means the reverse is also true, of the good and compassionate divine beings. They can be tricked, or defeated. It would be the same as a mortal tyrant, or a benevolent ruler, on a far grander scale.

"I do believe in the gods' power. I believe in their goodwill, and their retribution. To defy them is dangerous for any mortal. There are reasons to be afraid of losing their love, or gaining their ire. I wouldn't wish to threaten Hoshido's peace and prosperity. Yet it is heartening to know if the worst were to pass, there are individuals who wouldn't bow to a tyrant, be he man or god."

Stop trembling, goddammit. I willed myself still. Swallowing again, I managed one firm word: "Never."

Orochi leaned forward, beads clicking with the moving. A finger tapped her chin. "My, you are a brave one."

Smile warm, the queen lightly squeezed my hand. I thought of Kamui, recruiting me as his retainer. The conviction. His mother declared with words of equal weight, "People like you dare to challenge fate. I have seen it with my own eyes. Whatever fears and doubts you harbor... and whatever else you may have encountered on your trip. I believe people like you will find a way to triumph against all odds."

There it was. She suspected something bigger had happened, that I knew more than I let on. Did she truly believe in me? Would she believe my story? I desperately wanted that to be true. She was portrayed as such a caring person, a wise ruler dedicated to peace. But she knew the dangers. She had lived through them—still did. How much would she risk?

The hand slid away to return to her lap. She seemed unaffected by the implications of her own words. Like we were discussing the weather. That level of composure was envious. "I'm sorry, most of our conversation has been me unloading my thoughts onto you. I wanted to get to know you, not deliver a monologue."

I was slow to recover. "Th-at's okay. I don't mind listening."

"I'd say you've far surpassed the necessary amount, wouldn't you? It's my turn." She offered another smile. She repeated, "Is there anything you would like to talk about, Ms. Megan? Orochi and I promise open ears, open hearts, and our full discretion."

This was such an obvious opening. She knew I couldn't speak outright about the Vallite curse. But she was offering to listen, as if I was another of her subjects. That's what she had referred to me as, back in the infirmary. She said she hadn't regretted saving her subjects, saving me. She wanted peace. She wanted to protect Hoshido and her family. If I could provide any information that could help her do both, wasn't I obligated to speak up?

"Orochi could procure some treats from the kitchen, if you'd like."

Despite the seriousness, my lips twitched. "Trying to win me over with mochi?"

Her eyes twinkling, she teased, "If that's what you'd like."

I took a deep breath. Held it. Exhaled. And finally, I nodded. I would do it. I would tell her, tell them.

"Very well. Orochi, if you please?"

"Certainly!" The retainer got up from her seat, pointing a sharp finger my way. "I suspect you will enjoy this season's variety. We've gotten fresh mangoes in, after all." While humorous, the statement made one thing very clear: Whatever Orochi learned, she wouldn't forget.

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This was a big risk I was taking. But it didn't stop me. After snacks, more tea, and a certain little yapper were brought in, I bit the bullet and shared one of many secrets: My origins in a completely different realm. The cackle Orochi finally gave was sharp. It was like someone fitting the last piece into a particular troublesome puzzle. "That's it! HA! It explains so much!" At least someone found this entertaining. It set Ichigo off.

"I know this is hard to believe. Portals, my Earth, your—uh, Fates World?"

"Your story is rather fantastic," Mikoto allowed. A bit hypocritically really, all things considered. Her fingers scratched Ichigo until he relaxed in her lap again. "But it would explain the discrepancies in your knowledge of our 'world.' And this 'cell phone' you've shown us is certainly beyond anything I've ever seen."

"I still don't know how I got here from my world. Or rather, why." I had most likely come through some portals. But why and how were they there? What did this mean for both worlds? I still didn't have any answers to these questions. I didn't have time to worry about them right now. To them, I explained, "The last thing I remember back home, it was October and I was just doing some damn laundry." Mikoto thankfully wasn't offended by the swear. Bless her. In the time it had taken to recount my tale, she hadn't batted an eyelash when my manners slipped.

Orochi, on the other hand, snickered. Her chin had come to rest on her palm, elbow on the table. "Would it be safe to assume you don't suspect dirty laundry as the culprit?"

I snorted. "If I went to a different world with every dirty sock, I'd have frequent flyer miles." Earth jokes aside, they were taking this a lot better than I expected. Granted, Mikoto was from Valla. It was really her retainer that surprised me. I kept glancing at her, trying to figure her out.

Catching another of these looks, Orochi's smile suggested she had caught the canary. "What confusion you wear! Something bothering you?" I reached for another mango mochi. They were as delicious as advertised.

Since she asked... "Why are you so... blasé about this?"

My hesitation amused her, as did my question. She reached into a satchel. "There are many things I only have approximate knowledge of. Divination, however, is not one of them." Shuffling a familiar deck, she fanned it face-down across the table. Ichigo's snout peeked over the table. "Not only with cards, either: Palms, numbers, yarrow, the stars, clairvoyance." Dancing fingers eventually plucked one from its brethren. Before flipping it, she posed a question. "Do you understand how often I have been unable to see the future?"

"Not often?" The card was set down. I couldn't help leaning forward to examine it, or the wry, "Why do all of these look like they've featured in my nightmares?"

"Lovely, aren't they?" Her smirk came and went, like a figure in the mist. That's what the card depicted, something lurking in a fog that twisted the plains they rolled across. She tapped it, staring at me. "One hand. I can count on one hand the number of times I haven't gotten my answer."

"Orochi is one of the most talented diviners I've had the pleasure of knowing." Mikoto smiled. "She doesn't quite like being outmaneuvered."

The diviner inclined her head. "This card? I've become very familiar with this card, and similar results. Can you guess what it means?"

I stared at it for a good while. Fog, mist. It was all about limited visibility. You didn't know where your next step would lead. "...the unknown?"

"The unknown, uncertainty, suspicion. This is what I've pulled while trying to figure out where you came from. Multiple times. It was much the same with my other divination methods." Slipping the card back into the deck, she told me as she shuffled again, "There is no location on the map you could point to I wouldn't have the ability to know. And so, I began to wonder... what isn't on our map?"

"That... would do it, huh?" I frowned. How many others had tried divining my origins? What if they had come to bad conclusions? Despite the barrier being common knowledge, even Ryoma had accused the plaza attack of being a Nohrian plot. And he was partially right. Hopefully I wouldn't have to continue defending my origins. It was so tiring.

"There was another card that popped up quite a bit." She pulled and flipped one without looking. "It seems our lives will be steeped in danger from here on out."

"What was your first clue? The bomb in the plaza or the fire in the castle?"

"Neither, actually." My snark didn't bother her. She gestured at the card: A broken shuriken lied on a battlefield. "Something has shifted—like a massive beast rising to slink out of its lair. It has the cosmos reeling. I can feel it, though I cannot identify the source."

"Oh." I could hazard a guess what that meant.

"There proves to be things that divination cannot tell you, or show you." Mikoto gently returned the card. "No matter how talented a diviner you might be."

"And the future can change simply by speaking it aloud," Orochi sighed. "In truth, for all of my confidence, I am not infallible. It is most distressing."

"On the other hand, there are fates that appear unavoidable. The aggression of war..." Mikoto bowed her head. "The death of a queen." Air caught in my throat. That's right—she knew about her death too. How must that have felt? Her voice became a murmur. "I had known for a time that my life was in danger. My death was all but certain. I had come to terms with that fact. But my concern was with my son's fate. If nothing changed, we were both fated to die in that attack."

Chilling words. I swallowed. "...but, something did change." Because they were both alive.

She lifted her head, smile bright. "Yes. Quite a few things, in fact."

"You... Is that why you say Merlin and I saved your lives?"

Smirking, Orochi pointed out, "How else would an inescapable fate be proven wrong, but by someone who befuddles fortunes?"

"I'm not suggesting that you single-handedly saved the day." Good. "Merlin's magic interfered with the blast, and protected my children when I was unable to. You ran to my son's aid, despite the dangers. You relieved others of a great burden so they could devote themselves to ending the conflict sooner. That was enough to better our chances."

"Okay, no more praising me." Mikoto giggled, Orochi snickered. I examined the grain of the table, admitting, "It feels weird."

"It wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortable." Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the queen's arms folding around Ichigo. "...I'm afraid I have one more question."

"Only one?" There went another snicker as I gestured. I claimed the last mochi, as they'd already had their fill. "Go ahead." Biting it in half, I began to chew.

"Is there anything else you haven't told us?"

I paused. Well then. Working my jaw, I swallowed my bite. She remained serene and poised, and yet I felt like I was under scrutiny. It was tempting to pop the rest of the mochi in my mouth. But stalling wouldn't look good. Hands lowered to keep the tremble from returning. "There... are some things I can't talk about."

"Can't," Orochi pushed, "or won't?" Her laugh, her tongue, her mind, her gaze—everything about her had proven sharp. She was the naginata prodding me in the face of Mikoto's gentle hand.

"For my own safety, I can't." I swallowed, then reached for my tea. My mouth was so dry. Mikoto remained silent as she watched me. Another swallow. "And... for everyone else's safety."

The silence was deafening. I could hear my heartbeat in it, hear the suspicions swirling between us. But more pushing wouldn't change my stance. If I was caught in the curse, Anankos could utilize my knowledge with devastating effect. Another reason not to die. I wondered what sort of secrets they thought I still hid. Yukimura had been giving me anxiety for some time now, but Orochi could prove equally dangerous as an enemy. Mikoto's knowledge of Valla could make that better, or worse. It all depended on how this conversation proceeded from here. I took this chance to finish the mochi.

"Shall Orochi prepare another pot of tea, Lady Mikoto?"

"That won't be necessary. However, could I ask you to bring Ichigo outside?" When her retainer looked askance, Mikoto smiled. "He's been behaving well, but he'll grow restless before long. Ms. Megan and I will wait for you."

"As my lady wishes."

Oh. Oh shit. Orochi gave the queen one last searching look as she accepted the dog. A week ago, this wouldn't have been suspicious. But clearly Mikoto wanted to speak with me alone. I gripped my knees. The clacking slowly faded behind a shut door. And then there were two. My knuckles were the same color as her sleeves. Inhale, exhale. Remain calm.

"Ms. Megan, I'm sorry to press this matter. But are you certain you cannot talk to me about this?"

"Not if I value my life. I... I would tell you if I could, but..." I released another breath. "The curse."

"I see." The cups were collected and set aside. Those sleeves rested on the table's edge. I focused on fingers delicately lacing together. Her voice was soft. "That's not the only thing you're hiding from us."

My brows furrowed. "I... I'm sorry?"

When I glanced up again, her expression was gentle. She looked... sad. Or maybe it was pity. Her head tilted a fraction. She spoke carefully, like soothing a skittish dog. "I understand the burden of carrying a secret you wish to share. It grows heavier with every lost opportunity, every problem it could solve." Uncertain where this was going, I could only nod. Her smile was nearly apologetic. "Yet there are times where your actions and words betray you. Those who pay close attention can gather them. But only the ones who know what they are looking for can assemble the pieces into a coherent picture."

"I... I'm sorry, I don't..."

She offered a hand palm-up, like a peace offering. Several seconds passed before I laid one over it. The other came to clasp mine, just like Kamui. There was no doubt that he had gotten his compassion from her. The warmth of her touch provided an awful contrast to the chill I got when she informed me, "How did you know I was aware of the curse?"

"Shit." I jerked, but she held fast. Panic surged. "Fuck. I... Mikoto, you... It's not..." My voice evaporated.

Her eyes slid shut. My senses prickled with a cool... something. "You must have spent some time there. Perhaps before you came to Hoshido. Perhaps during your trip with my children. Even so, I have been in Hoshido since you were young. Before that... I was in hiding. We have never met." Quite suddenly, the magic became apparent. She's bound our hands. Eyes opening again, she continued. "With the knowledge you've shown about the unspeakable, you must understand why I have to hear your answer."

"I—what did you do?"

"Nothing permanent, or harmful. But I cannot allow you to leave this room without answering me."

Teeth squeaked from gritting hard. No amount of struggling could free me. My skin burned when I tugged too hard, like we were superglued together. Was there even a counter for this spell? All at once, the fight left me. There was no getting out of this. Blinking didn't prevent the frustrated tears. Once again, someone else had my life in their hands. I had to hope giving her what she wanted wouldn't be a mistake. How many leaps of faith did this make? I'd lost count.

"I..." I swallowed a few times. No more tea to clear my throat. "I'm not from there."

"I understand that."

"And... I'm not cursed. I'm not possessed or, or undead, or... Fuck. Not like I can prove it."

"I can test your words in a moment. First I would hear your answer. If not a puppet from an unseen enemy, then what? What has given you the knowledge no one else in Hoshido has?"

I grimaced and said what I always had: "Stories."

"The stories you've heard, in your world of Earth?" She earned a nod, and pressed, "Stories that contain unspeakable things, such as my origin?"

There it was. My shoulders sagged. Finally. The sudden thought surprised me.

"Yeah. There, we aren't affected by the curse. The curse... your world... you, your children, it's all... It was all just a story, back home." With this, I found words pouring out with the tears. "It was a game in a series, the second one I played—I thought it was cool because this time you could turn into a dragon—and it had branching paths and interesting characters. I didn't expect both Corrin and Kamui here—you only chose one in the game. Then you had to choose a path to take, to see how the story ended. So much is different here, but... but some things are the same."

"I heard about your urgency in getting to the ceremony. So, you knew what would happen."

"I did—but I didn't. There are a lot of people that weren't in the game. You have twins. And—I noticed Corrin didn't have Ganglari on her before going with Kamui. I didn't know if, if the same things that happened in the game would happen here. But... but I couldn't risk it. I sent a spirit to Merlin, to make sure she was at the ceremony, and... I was still too late, but I hoped... I hoped what I did was enough."

"I suspect my death was guaranteed in those stories. Did they also mention the war threatening our borders?" I nodded twice. Mikoto lightly squeezed my hand. I couldn't see through the tears. "Then they would still seem to be relevant, even if to a smaller extent. I shall have to hear these stories myself."

Air shuddered in my chest. To speak so freely about this, it truly did feel like a weight was being lifted. I'd accept the consequences after it all came out. "...I'll tell you what I can remember. It's been... a while, since I've played it. And... I don't know what will still hold true. It depends on... what Corrin will do. Or, both of them. I don't know."

"I'll listen to it all regardless. Even if it proves to be wrong, there could still be information to glean from it." She fell silent for several beats. My free arm swiped across my face. I silently lamented the mess I was making of my sleeve. Eventually she spoke again. Still soft, still careful. "These stories, they starred my children. My people."

"Y-yes." I cleared my throat and swallowed a few more times. "It... I'm an idiot. I played that game several times. I got attached... so attached. I wanted everyone to be happy. I was too scared to play on the classic mode—to see anyone die. Characters like T-Takumi and Sakura, Azura, Hinata and Oboro... I saw them in that game as friends, or family, or... I don't even know them. I just knew the story, the characters. I don't know the people. But I'm... I-I'm so attached to them all." Looking towards her, I whispered, "I'm attached to you, like you're..."

Another silence fell. There was another attempt to clean my face, but it was no use while I still cried. Breathe. Calm down. In. Out. In. Out. Pouring my heart out, I felt raw and hurt, but also relieved. These thoughts had bounced around in my skull for so long, these feelings lodged in my ribcage. Even if this all backfired, this was one small comfort.

The chuckle surprised me. What did she find so funny? I blinked to try examining her. Her hands rose, still grasping mine, and wiggled. "We are attached," she informed me.

My brow furrowed.

...oh. OH. Hysterical laughter bubbled forth. 'Attached.' What a stupid fucking pun. That was a me-level joke. My head bowed, I let the ridiculousness of the situation fully sink in. Here I was, magically chained to Mikoto, telling her I had read about her life and death in the story of a game, and she was making a fucking pun. I was left breathless afterwards. Cups of tea meant I wasn't dehydrated from crying, but my bladder couldn't take much more jostling.

Mikoto squeezed again and declared, "We shall prove you aren't cursed, or undead, or plotting anything nefarious. Then we shall discuss what you remember. I can send Orochi for more tea when she returns."

"If I have anymore tea, I'll explode. And I..." My lip tore from worrying it. "I don't want... anyone to know about this. It's... I don't think it would go over well with some of the others. Especially..."

"Especially Takumi?" Her conclusion caused me to wince. Hate that it's so obvious, but, yeah. His temper could flare at far lesser crimes than knowing intimate details about him and his family—and having known the ceremony incident would happen. She understood this. "I understand your hesitation. Perhaps in the future you will feel comfortable sharing this with the others. But I would like to bring Orochi into this. She is already aware of your world." My reticence earned a reassuring smile. "I promise you, she will keep your secret, as she has several of mine. You will only have to weather her teasing."

I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I'd started holding. "Is that all," I muttered. It earned a giggle from her. Then Mikoto was standing, and I was stumbling forward. "Ah shit—"

"Oh—my. I'm terribly sorry, I... forgot we were attached." Okay but literally how, when you JUST made a joke about it? She had difficulty steadying us with both hands occupied. Once I wasn't toppling over, she appraised me. "In another lifetime," she murmured, "I would love to take everything you've told me at face value. I do not like interrogating you, someone who otherwise hasn't given me reason to doubt her trustworthiness."

I swallowed, shaking my head. "I would still do whatever you need. Paranoia is absolutely understandable, with what we both know is out there. I would rather you take the extra precautions, since I could've been..."

My furrowing brow caught her attention. "What is it?"

"Why... why did you attach us, if you were having doubts?" I wiggled my hand in hers. "Both of your hands are bound, but—I could've had a knife, or something else up my sleeve that..."

"If you were truthful, there wouldn't be a problem. If you weren't, you wouldn't be able to dodge the truth without revealing yourself. You would have difficulty escaping the castle afterwards, attached to a corpse." The blunt delivery startled me. It was that powerful of a spell, to outlast her death? She gave a worn smile. "It was a risk, I'll admit. But I have taken many risks since this all began."

I exhaled shakily. "...you are so Kamui's mother."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She pretended not to see me drying tears yet again, bless her. She lowered her voice as we carefully approached the door together. "It's not foolish to be attached or influenced by stories, Ms. Megan. They were penned by a real person. You took the time to immerse yourself in them, much like you would to get to know someone face-to-face."

"...yeah. But..." I swallowed. "I don't know what's fiction and what's reality."

"Then take what you know with a grain of salt." We stepped into the hall. Guards stood at attention, but were waved off by the queen. At her request, a spirit was sent to retrieve Orochi. She offered another smile as she led the way. "I believe the friendship you have with my children and their retainers is grounded in reality. You've proven quite capable of putting yourself in others' shoes." I wasn't so sure. Would I want to reach out so much to people like Azura if I didn't have prior knowledge? I guess wondering about those 'what ifs' is pointless now. I had enough on my plate.

"So, where's this... lie detector of yours?"

"In the throne room."

I muttered, "The throne..." Of course. It would reveal my 'true form,' whatever that meant. It was her safest bet. The more I dwelled on it, the more concerned I became. "What does it actually do, though? Like, will it revert me back to Day One? Remove my magic powers? It'd suck if I was that weak again..."

"It is said that those who sit on it regain their true form and mind." As we approached those towering, ornate doors once again, she wondered aloud, "Perhaps it will return your lost memories, of how you came to be here."

Not with MY luck, I thought bitterly as the doors swung open.

.


.

While I liked the upper hand I had with my knowledge of the game, sometimes I wished my intuition was wrong. Alas, I wasn't suddenly given a flashback or a vision after awkwardly climbing onto the throne. Some minor details grew crisp. I remembered a little more of the path I took, all of those months ago. Light. Pain. But it only confirmed I had fallen unconscious at some point between then and waking in a Vallite lake. Can't remember what you never saw. I was still clueless about the nature of my journey here. Orochi teased me for 'sulking.'

At Mikoto's request, I stayed long enough to explain my unique situation to the retainer. Sharing the information wasn't easy for me, but it had eased something in their shoulders. Orochi said it explained my 'knowing eyes.' Whatever that meant. Then I was sent away, to rest and prepare for yet another long conversation tomorrow.

They picked my brain when I returned for what might lie in the future. Even if it wasn't all accurate, better to illuminate the possibilities. Speaking of the 'routes' I knew of was painful. I kept my eyes to the table as I told them of the march against Nohr in Birthright, taking the lives of people Corrin still considered family. Tears escaped while recounting Ryoma's sacrifice and Takumi's descent in Conquest. In both tales, Azura lost her life so that Corrin would succeed. Even the 'best ending' in Revelations was bought with the lives of innocents like Izana and Scarlet. The invasion of Izumo, Mokushu's betrayal, Iago's scheming. I gave what details I could, dancing around the curse. This was the wisest course. If I had died at any point, valuable knowledge would've been lost to Mikoto, Kamui and the others. It could've then been placed in the hands of the enemy known only by the few. Now, while the risk of Anankos gaining this knowledge had grown, so too did the insurance that someone here still had it. If only I had photographic memory of the various plots... But at least this is better than nothing.

Yet there were still things left in the realm of uncertainty. The mysterious singer in Valla. The dual Yato swords. There wasn't a hint of Lilith while Corrin was here. Was she hiding? Hadn't she revealed herself to Corrin? I didn't know the status of Inigo, Owain and Severa either—known here as Laslow, Odin and Selena. With Corrin having a twin on the opposite side of the continent, I wasn't sure how that had affected their quest. For all I knew, one or more of the trio could be in Castle Shirasagi right now. Or, maybe it wasn't even the trio. Maybe different people from the world of Fire Emblem Awakening had come, or more of them. I couldn't rule that out. For every question I thought I could answer, fifty more sprung up in their place.

Mikoto didn't begrudge me my uncertainty or the anxiety that came with it. But she said it best: "For the time being, we have to prepare, and wait." It was all we could do until we found more answers.

.


.

It was nice to immerse myself in manual labor after such intense discussions. Many were still out of commission from the attack. Servants, soldiers and citizens all carried materials up the winding mountain path and several flights of stairs. Wood, bamboo, paper, stone, all to patch up the castle's wounds. I offered to float the heavier bundles and hold things in place. The major points of damage were in the tenma stables, the library, and the infirmary building. It was speculated the kinshi roost was spared by its inconvenient location in relation to the rest of the castle. Small favors. They were expensive to maintain.

Kioko apologized over a quiet dinner for not coming to me sooner. I didn't blame her, or any of the others. They were in shock, or mourning. Her father and Saburou weren't the only casualties in the attack: Mirai had lost her grandmother, as had Daisuke and Akane. I understood Saya's crying now. I took time to deliver them snacks or tea. It wouldn't solve everything, but better something small than being left alone. I sat with Saya and her kids, conversation stilted. But that was fine.

Seeing all of these grieving families reminded me of when I'd lost my father. Neighbors had come to share condolences, bringing our family food or house things. I hadn't known how to express my gratitude at the time, trapped by pain. I had tried tirelessly to take my mind off of it, games, books, anything that wasn't reality. The same with losing my grandfather a year later: Blessed by people's kindness, desperately fighting off despair. Had it been that terrible when I was a child, when Mema passed? I couldn't remember.

A week later, the thought of scared, confused children led me to start a project of my own. Kioko gave me permission, and actually encouraged it. We both tearfully agreed it was something Saburou would've teased me for. 'You keep saying you're not a kid, but then you do things like this to prove otherwise.' I approached an exhausted Oboro one night for paint. She was irritable until I explained why I needed it.

"The paint won't last long in the summer rains," she pointed out. That's right, primer or sealing coats probably didn't exist here. She tugged me from the dining hall after dinner. "I have a better idea."

She proposed an interesting method to weatherproof wood. It was hard to imagine charring it would help. But Oboro swore by it. She fondly remembered helping her father prepare the wood this way, when she was small. We only had to get the right tree. An experienced carpenter would bundle planks together in a triangular tube and lit the interior. You were supposed to let it burn black before allowing it to cool, brushing and washing it, and finally coating it in natural oil. Oboro braided small enchantments into a large red rope while I painstakingly carved lines and runes. This grimoire kicks ass, I decided.

"I can help you set it up tomorrow," she offered.

"No, I got it. Thank you. You should get some rest, okay?" Not a day had passed where I didn't see her helping with reconstruction and patrols. Hope she doesn't overwork herself. "If I get permission though, could you help me braid more rope? When you're free, I mean."

Tired as she was, she beamed. "I'd be happy to!" I didn't doubt that. Thinking back to her childhood, though it conjured that scowl to her face, brought joy with the pain. Maybe I could try recalling summers of watching my dad work on backyard projects.

The best place for this would be somewhere with a hefty tree not terribly far from the castle. It took a while to locate the perfect specimen. Lugging it all around was a pain. But I persevered until I found The One. It was within sight of the people working on the stables, barely around the corner.

Before I could act, a purple streak came around and stopped at my feet. My things dropped to the ground. Atticus stood on its hind legs, nose twitching. The lack of urgency gradually eased me out of a battle stance. Not another invasion. "Geez, Atticus, don't scare me like that! What's up?" It couldn't make an apology, but I forgave it anyway.

"...oh." There was only one other reason it would come running to me. Taking a page out of Akane's book, I'd asked the spirit to keep an eye out for the return of any of the royal siblings to the castle.

I turned, peering at the bustle of people. Can't see anything. Dammit, I'm short. A few cheers went out, but most staff were disciplined enough to keep working. It was tempting to drop what I was doing and run to them. I wanted to know who it was, and what had happened. Figure out which route I need to prepare for. But I clamped down on the urge. Rushing over wouldn't change any of that, and Mikoto knew as much if not more than I did now. They would probably go to her first.

"I started this project," I muttered to myself, sending Atticus off once more. "I'll finish it before running off." If any of them started looking for me before this was done, the spirit could lead them.

Now it was time to actually set this bad boy up. Hauling myself up into a tree was infinitely easier when I could float. I sang as I worked, in-between mutters and swears. Work was less tedious with a tune on your lips.

The rope was tied, untied, adjusted, tied again. My inexperience left me struggling. But I was too stubborn to ask for help. So I wrestled with the rope until finally, I was satisfied. Most kids should be able to use the swing I'd set up. Only the smallest would need a hand up. Maybe I could make a smaller swing. With the magic imbued in it, it should be the safest plaything in Hoshido. Any hostile magic would snap up a ward to protect kids within range. Oboro and I had worked hard on this. I couldn't wait to show her and the others. Maybe I can convince Akane or Daisuke to test it out with me. I could see him loving a swing to dunk in the lake with. Too bad there weren't any trees close enough to the water.

It'd be nice to see Kamui and Corrin enjoying it too. Something peaceful and silly, in the middle of a war. Maybe if they're here... I pushed away the thought, raising my voice to drown it out. I still had some magic to carve into this tree.

"When I'm gone, when I'm gooone—you're gonna miss me when I'm gone! You're gonna miss me by my hair, you're gonna—"

"Hey!"

I nearly fell off of the branch I straddled. Who the hell snuck up on me?! Kaze? Wait. My head whipped around. Atticus stood at the foot of the tree, its duty finished. Another shout. "What are you doing up there?"

I was staring. Heart pounding in my chest, I swung over the side. I hit the ground in a rough stumble. Arms had come out to catch me on instinct. I took advantage of their positioning before they could retract. I hugged him.

"Agh—what the—" The guy barely tottered from all hundred-twelve pounds colliding with him. Another grunt, and the heel of a palm pushed at my shoulder. "What gives?"

"You're back—you're here, you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be," asked an irritated Prince Takumi, who I had expected to be at least halfway across the country. Cursed, captured, both. Anything but here and well.

"Because—" I stepped back, holding him at arm's length. Was he well? Dirt, scuffs, minute tears. Signs of a couple weeks on the road and some combat, but no major injuries. Not that I could see, anyway. My heart jumped into my throat again. "Where's the seal? The—the fabric with the ward?"

"It's in my pock—argh!" He slapped my arms away, thoroughly fed up. "Will you back off?!" When I hesitated, he dug into a pocket and shoved the cloth into my hand. "There! Happy now?"

The square looked like someone had taken a burnt stick to it. Singed threads made up most of the design. But running my fingers over it picked out the few that remained, energy faint but present. The ward was still active.

"Thank fuck." My fist clenched the fabric, eyes screwing shut. Oboro and I had put our all into these fabric squares. Yet even after the little speech I gave her, there was still the fear it wouldn't be enough. There was so much I hadn't been able to stop. Our group getting caught in Valla... I'd endangered everyone, and Takumi had taken that spell straight to the chest. The plaza attack... Mikoto was alive, but she and Kamui had still gotten badly injured. All of my knowledge of this game alone hadn't been enough to win. But this one thing. With Merlin's knowledge and working together with his retainer, we'd managed to save Takumi from a terrible fate. It took a heavy weight I hadn't realized was still there off of my shoulders. Working together with the others was the ticket. I made the right choice, telling Mikoto everything.

I smoothed out the square and offered it back. He refused, raising a palm. "Oboro says she's already working on a new one to sew into my clothes. You should see her about it."

"Right." With nowhere else to put it, I shoved the fabric into my pocket. It felt a little like a memento. I swallowed the awkwardness. "What about Hinata's?"

Takumi's reply was even more alarming than the frown. "He... His ward got destroyed. One of the Nohrian curses ate through it."

"What?! Is he okay?"

"Yes, my sister looked over him before we left."

Still fearful, I summoned Lissa and directed it to find the samurai. I hope I didn't trade his life for Takumi's. Though, would he even be affected by that sort of curse? I couldn't imagine he had the same kind of deep-rooted issues the prince did. Oboro would've been a better fit, honestly. This was assuming it was the same one. Curses were capable of simply tearing people apart. Merlin had taught me that.

"Wait—since when have you been able to summon two spirits at once?"

I couldn't help the bitter laugh. "There's been a lot of shit going on since you guys left." Our gazes shifted to the castle in the midst of repairs. He muttered an agreement. Atticus twined between my legs in a figure-eight. To both it and Takumi I asked, "Where's Kamui? And the others?"

Atticus stood up, nose twitching. Its head turned in a few directions. Frowning, I glanced up to see Takumi's expression darkening.

"Corrin's gone."

I inhaled sharply. "Gone?"

Snarling, he elaborated, "Gone back to Nohr."

.


.

"Stop this!"

Corrin stood tall in a room as impressive and large as the man who ruled it. Her words echoed in the vast empty space, but she wouldn't be surprised if no one heard them over her hammering heart. Crimson banners draped from the high ceiling, bearing designs of the Nohrian crest and some fearsome beasts. The iron candelabra and the lanterns hanging from columns on either side seemed to set the marble aflame. A luxurious red carpet led through the center and up a small set of stairs to the throne. Metal branched from its crown, extending above in a pattern not unlike the wingspan of Camilla's wyvern. Melted wax dotted the steps from numerous reverent candles. The last time Corrin had entered this room was weeks ago, when the king tasked her to investigate a fortress on the Hoshidan border. So much had changed since then. And now...

Her siblings—in all but blood—stood beside her. Leo had kept her from interrupting praise of her actions on the Hoshidan plains. Her sisters Camilla and Elise had protested their father's decree for Xander to eliminate the 'traitor.' Xander himself stubbornly refused to kill her. Their unending support, even now that they knew they weren't truly related, touched her heart. But Corrin was done with causing her loved ones pain. Stepping forward, she willed her voice not to falter.

"Xander is not a traitor. Father... I am the cause of all of this. All will be well if I just disappear, correct?" The words echoed the ones Takumi had shouted at her weeks before. She wished there had been the chance to properly apologize to him. To the rest of their family as well. Her choice to leave had unwittingly caused them pain too. It hadn't been her intention, she had just hoped... She ignored her own tears and lifted her chin. "Please don't bring Xander into this. I'll do it myself."

She had thought she solved one mystery, for the innocent Hoshidans injured or killed in the plaza. While Ganglari was 'a sword infused with magic from another world,' Father—that is, King Garon had promised he was unaware of the attack. But... it was possible that he lied. He did want her dead now, declaring her a traitor infected by the Hoshidan queen, her real mother. Azura and Merlin's warnings swirled in her mind, ones she hadn't heeded until now. Hope had blinded her. This would be her penance.

If only I had learned who was responsible for the attack in the Hoshidan capital, she lamented. Once again, she mulled over the other pieces she had to this puzzle, and the support that had brought her this far:

'There may be an even darker force at work.'

'Other things I've seen and heard... makes me believe there is something out there that could threaten both Nohr and Hoshido. This was just the start of it.'

'I can't speak of it, but... There's a great danger hidden from this world.'

'Would you be able to shoulder that kind of burden, if there was a chance to save both Hoshido and Nohr?'

'… I believe in you, and think you can convince both sides to listen, eventually.'

'In dark times of despair, find the light of hope. And if there is none? Make it.'

'I feel much the same way. That's why I—'

Her tears dried on her chin. She had almost warned King Garon of the mysterious forces earlier when Iago interrupted with his accusations. Now would be the perfect opportunity. Her last words could be a warning to her Nohrian family and a plea for peace. But, the silence had stretched far longer than she expected. No one goaded her to finish the job. She met the gaze of the king, brows furrowing. "...Father?"

He was examining her with something like interest. "So, you're willing to trade your life for his? Fascinating. In that case..."

Surely it was by some stroke of luck that her life was spared. Or it was truly decreed by this great 'Anankos' that the king spoke of. An odd name. This same dragon supposedly gave her the task of quelling the Ice Tribe's rebellion, to accomplish alone. Her siblings protested, saying it would be tantamount to suicide. But she refused to give up before truly beginning. Perhaps once she defeated the tribe, her 'father' would be more likely to listen to her. I hope I can stop the rebellion without fighting. It would be the first step to the peace between Hoshido and Nohr she sought.

These thoughts are what fueled her stride from the imposing throne room. It took Camilla's gentle hand to pull Elise away from Corrin's side. Consumed with preparation plans, she didn't notice Leo following her. It was before the bedroom she claimed when visiting that he cleared his throat. She jumped, wondering why so many people seemed to materialize out of nowhere in Castle Krakenburg. Or maybe it was just a dark magic thing.

"Leo! You scared me half to death!"

He scolded her inattention as he ushered her into the room. "You're lucky I wasn't anyone with nefarious intentions." Looking rather alert, he quietly shut the door. There was an awkward pause as they stared at each other, alone for the first time in ages. He hadn't possibly grown taller in her absence, had he? Then again, he had once been as small as her, and smaller. When she remembered her purpose, Corrin turned to collect the things Jakob had secured here. Leo cleared his throat behind her. "Firstly, I would like to reiterate Xander's words: We have treated you as family for all of these years, and we will continue to do so. The fact that we don't share blood changes nothing, Sister."

Tears couldn't hope to extinguish her smile. Her pack was set aside to embrace him tightly, earning a grunt. "Thank you so much, Leo." His armor wasn't comfortable, but she didn't care.

"Yes, you're welcome, now—" He huffed, finally convincing her to pull away. He cleared his throat. "That's not the only reason I'm here. I have a few questions for you. I remember what you described of the attack in Hoshido. How an enemy utilized the sword Father gave you to create a devastating blast."

Good humor fading, Corrin sighed as she remembered the incident. "Yes. It was a disaster. It nearly cost me my life... and it almost did kill my brother, and our mother."

Leo was calculating and stoic. But she could still tell how these words unsettled him. His brow dipping further, the twitch of his frown. It wasn't just the tragedy that nearly took her life. It was also how she spoke of the people she had 'betrayed' for her Nohrian family. It was the same sort of unease Kamui had shown when she called Leo her brother. How oddly alike they were. Her heart ached. Her twin brother...

"This incident is what... made you take the form of a dragon."

She blinked, clearing her vision. "That's right. That must have been quite a surprise for you all."

"A surprise? Really, Corrin. How can you be so casual about that? You literally became a beast of legends!" Palm resting over his forehead, Leo groaned. "Forgive me, that was insensitive. You're not a beast."

She offered a smile. Though his words stung briefly, it was best not to dwell on it. "It's alright. It was a shock for me too!" Her arm had changed when she attacked Hans, but she couldn't have imagined it would lead to such a transformation. Even Ryoma and the others had been surprised. It was so odd, though.

"That man who claimed to be your twin—he had his own strange transformations."

It seemed Leo's mind was on the same topic. She frowned as she admitted, "I didn't think much of it, but... I suppose he could transform, too. Azura gave us both dragonstones, after all." During the battle on the plains, his arm had grown talons, and even a gaping maw at one point. Much like hers had before. But if he could do that, why had the others been so surprised at the plaza? Perhaps it had only just materialized for him too?

"Hmm... I'd like to examine this stone."

"Of course. Here." She gently placed it in Leo's palm. There were other things she needed to pack. "I can't leave without it, though. I don't want to risk losing control of myself again." She turned back to her things, biting her lip. Thankfully, he didn't ask to hear the tale again, turning the faceted gem in the light.

It had been difficult to recount, even over several days of travel. I don't remember all of it, and what I do remember... isn't pleasant. She'd finally come clean when Elise was gushing about her 'dragon sister' yet again. They had all been so supportive. That was likely because she had been in complete control of her faculties on the plains. They hadn't seen her rampage. She was grateful, but a bit guilty. Would they have thought so highly of her, if it had happened in Nohr? Would Leo have reacted the same as Takumi? Would Xander have so readily blamed the Hoshidans, as Ryoma had the Nohrians? It was painful to think about her siblings like this, but she couldn't help it. So much had changed since she left her little fortress.

"Well, sister? ...Corrin?" A hand on her shoulder jolted her from her thoughts. It was only Leo, brow furrowed. "Are you even listening?"

"I-I'm sorry, Leo. Forgive me." She realized she'd just been standing there, staring at the clothes she meant to pack. Creases from how she gripped them were smoothed away. "What were you saying?" This earned another sigh.

"Honestly, Corrin, your behavior grows odder by the day. First your actions on the plains, then how you questioned Father... You're lucky we're here to pull you out of trouble."

"You said it yourself, Leo: I have the devil's own luck." She couldn't help feeling a little cheeky as he grew more exasperated. She added honestly, "Thank you, Leo. Without you, Xander, Camilla, and Elise... I don't know what I'd do."

"Get yourself into more trouble, no doubt." Though he shook his head, a hint of a smile hid behind that smirk. She knew he could never truly stay upset with her.

The echo of metal boots brought their attention towards the door. It stayed in the distance, but the reminder was sobering. Corrin had to leave soon. She wished yet again to ask Merlin about Gunter—but she hadn't seen the woman since the plains. The promise to always be nearby threatened to ring hollow after two weeks with no sign of her. But it was possible someone wanted her and Gunter dead. Hiding was likely her only choice. It didn't make Corrin any less lonely.

"I shouldn't be much longer, or Xander will worry."

"Very well. I'll return this to you, then." Leo placed the dragonstone back into her hand. He glimpsed at the golden sword at her hip, the one Xander had asked about on the way back. No doubt her little brother wanted to examine that as well. Perhaps after the rebellion was quelled, as a late birthday present. They had been on the road when it passed, which made it difficult to celebrate properly. "There is one last matter I wanted clarification on, before you go."

"Really? What is it?"

"You seemed quite adamant that there was more to the attack on Hoshido. After all, the barrier prevented Nohrian assaults, outside of Faceless."

"That's right." Merlin had pointed that out, as had Kamui's newest retainer. While it pained Corrin to keep secrets, she had promised not to reveal the witch's continued survival, even to her siblings. "That's why, though Ganglari was used in the attack, I wanted to ask Father about it. If he didn't plan it, then it's possible there's someone else who wanted to instigate war between Nohr and Hoshido."

"That's quite a leap to make," Leo argued. His arms folded over his chest. "The Hoshidans would be well aware of their barrier's capabilities, making it unlikely such a ruse would fool them." She winced as she remembered how it very nearly had. "The possibility of another nation looking to crack Hoshido's defenses is there. But to claim there's a group looking to take down both Hoshido and Nohr at once? One of the most powerful nations in the world, and a kingdom isolated and heavily protected?"

"But it's true, Leo. I'm not the only one who thinks so!"

"I wouldn't put it past the Hoshidans to try to purposefully confuse your loyalties."

"It wasn't just Hoshidans! Princess Azura—she used to live in Nohr. And—"

"Azura?" Leo muttered the name like it didn't sound right. "...I can't say I recall anyone by that name. Are you certain?"

"Yes. She was taken from Nohr, after I was taken from Hoshido."

"...regardless, she has spent years in Hoshido. Her loyalties are likely compromised."

Corrin sighed, aggravated. Of all the things for him to be so stubborn on! "I know what I saw, Leo."

"What you saw was tragic. But it was a single, tragic incident. Unless you can provide more proof, I'm afraid your conspiracy is nothing more than a theory."

Merlin would likely know more. She hadn't told Corrin much of substance, but it was clear that she knew something. Same with Azura: Both had dodged questions with alarming grace. If only they gave me more to work with! Now she was thousands of miles away from Hoshido, and the witch was nowhere to be found. Even Lilith had admitted to there being another danger, but she couldn't provide details and she was hesitant to be seen in her current form. Fists clenched as Leo turned for the door, promising he would see her off at the gates. Who knew how long the rebellion would take to solve? What if something happened to Leo or the others in the interim?

"I don't have proof. But I know someone who does."

He paused, knob half-turned. Narrowed eyes turned her way. "Is that so?" At her nod, he faced her again with yet another sigh. "Very well. Who is this individual you speak of?"

Lilith and Merlin's names were on her tongue. She had to take a deep breath. Hold it. Then slowly release it. No. Not yet. She had promised. Perhaps once they felt comfortable enough to reveal their presences, they could explain themselves. For now, there was at least one other person she could name.

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A nice long soak would be the perfect thing after yet another long journey on the road. That and a large dinner with all of his family and close friends. Relaxing with the promise of war on their doorstep was difficult. But you were always supposed to look on the bright side of things, right?

Kamui couldn't muster more than a half-hearted smile at his mother. His heart ached seeing so many empty spots at the table. This was supposed to be a reprieve. It felt more like a punishment. The silence sat heavy on his chest, clutching his throat. Every look he gave Takumi was ignored—or it was until he evidently became fed up and stood. Calling out did nothing to stop his departure. After a time, Azura excused herself as well. Guilt welled up and clawed at Kamui's chest.

"I'm sorry, Mother."

"What for?"

It continued to grow. Elbows dug into the table, something she had always scolded him for. He buried his face into his palms to hide the guilt and anger and shame. Voice muffled, he admitted, "This is my fault."

"Oh, Kamui..." Fabric shifted. Her voice was as gentle as the hand on his back. "Please don't blame yourself."

He shook his head, still hidden. "Mother, you don't understand—I said something I shouldn't have, and now... Now Takumi hates me."

The hand moved in soothing circles. "Takumi is upset, yes. But he doesn't hate you, Kamui."

"He does! I... He'll never forgive me." With a shuddering breath, he murmured, "I'll never forgive myself."

If only he hadn't been so careless. But he'd been distracted. There was the heat of battle. Corrin was still within eyesight—after she had turned her back on her family, on him. She had tried to convince them to let her go, saying it was for the good of everyone. She just wanted peace between Nohr and Hoshido. If they promised not to fight, she would work on a peace agreement in Nohr. But Kamui couldn't listen to it. The grief threatened to consume him even now. The Nohrians had killed their father. They had locked her up long enough, her hair grew dull from the lack of sun. What would stop them from doing it again? Or worse? He couldn't lose his twin again. He just couldn't. There had been more obstacles than just Nohrian soldiers on that battlefield. It hadn't mattered. He wouldn't stop until he had her back. There was just one obstacle he wasn't expecting.

"Kamui—STOP!" He couldn't move his arm. Yato nearly thrust into flesh before he looked back and saw who it was. Inches from his face, Takumi snarled, "Don't be an idiot!"

It worked briefly, but then Kamui heard Corrin's voice. Her apologies burned in his blood. If she was sorry, why was she doing this? He jerked, energy swirling around his free arm. It was only after the soldier who'd charged them slumped to the ground that he realized what he'd done. Corrin was closer, her massive draconian tail slamming to the ground as she begged for everyone to leave. His heart leapt in his throat. This frightening power was in their blood.

"CORRIN!" Yato's pommel dug into Takumi's side. Breaking free, Kamui raced to his twin. Right now, she was a massive beast designed to rampage and destroy. Her neck whipped about, that strange featureless face turned his way. He stumbled, air catching in his lungs. Why was he afraid? No, this was his sister. "Corrin... PLEASE!"

He never got to finish his plea. Nohrian soldiers moved to intercept him. But it was his beastly twin surging forward that was terrifying. Gangly fingers hooked beneath a plate of his armor. Then he was suspended several feet off the ground. The claw was too powerful to pry away.

Struggling ceased, as did his breathing, when he looked up. Now a dragon's face was in his, features so alien and unreadable.

"Let me go, Kamui," it pleaded with Corrin's voice. "Let me do this. I promise we'll see each other again."

Being flung by a dragon wasn't high on his list of things to repeat in his lifetime. But his back couldn't compare to the pain that had nestled into his heart that day. He had been absolutely ready to defy his twin and charge in after Ryoma. Yet again Takumi had interfered, dragging him away. The troop casualties, their own injuries, the threat of separation... The strategies and reasons had fallen on deaf ears. The rage and grief drowned it all out. Kamui had accused him of being happy Corrin was gone. All of the suspicions and arguing, the blame game. That argument had led up to the words Kamui would regret:

"It's YOUR FAULT she's gone! You drove her away! You pushed away MY SISTER!"

He should've known better. Takumi, for all of his suspicions and temper, had never truly hated Corrin. So much had happened lately that it was difficult for Takumi to be vulnerable. But Kamui knew. When they'd been young... after they had both lost their father and sister... Takumi had promised they'd find her together. And every year since then, while he'd rolled eyes and gotten irritated at times, it was Takumi planning Kamui and Hinoka's patrols. It was his tactical knowledge being put to the test whenever Kamui asked where to send Kaze next. It had been Takumi suggesting they pull Corrin back, to protect her.

'His' sister, Kamui had said. As if being her twin gave Kamui a better claim. As if Takumi didn't love her too. As if... Corrin was more important than Takumi. He knew his little brother had taken it that way. Any and all attempts to talk to him since then had been rebuffed. Shame was like a punch to the gut, Kamui was so nauseous.

"Give him time, Kamui. Don't push him too hard. Eventually he'll be ready to listen."

"But..." He trailed off. Maybe I was the one who pushed Corrin too hard—and pushed her away. Mikoto drew back, coughing hard. His head shot up, concern overcoming the fear. "Mother?!" Orochi detached from the wall, her presence unexpected. How long had she been standing there?

Mikoto held up a palm, trying to smile through her pain. The potion she accepted wasn't as pleasant as her tea, but it brought cool relief. It still took some time before she could speak. "Kamui... my son. You've known your brother Takumi for years. When he stopped coming to me about his nightmares, you reached out to him, and he accepted it. You've stood by each other, through every hardship that's come your way. This situation we find ourselves in... Navigating this will be difficult. It promises to grow more and more complex as this war escalates." She lifted her cup for a larger swallow, gaze following it back to the table. A sigh escaped. "But the light of hope still shines. Not just in the blade at your hip—or hers, out there in Nohr. It also shines in the love we hold in our hearts."

Kamui looked to the golden sword of legends, thinking its promise for hope hadn't helped him yet. But his mother grasped his hand between hers. She coaxed him to meet her gaze, and smiled with such warmth and encouragement until he couldn't help smiling back. "Believe in her, Kamui. Believe in your brother. Believe in yourself."

"I..." He closed his eyes. Took a deep breath. Held it. Then released it. "You're right. I can't lie and say I completely believe, but... I'll try, Mother. I have to."

Mikoto pressed a kiss to his forehead. "All I ask is that you try," she murmured. Even after everything that had happened, his mother could still bring peace to a troubled heart. He missed the warmth when she pulled away. Then he was ordered to finish eating and get some rest tonight. "You will need your energy. Especially if you still plan on leaving tomorrow."

He started. "Mother?"

"Did you think I wouldn't figure it out?" His mother seemed amused. "Your retainers have been quite busy gathering supplies. And there's a determined glint in your eyes. You're not as secretive as you think."

Orochi laughed at his expression. Her hand was slapped away before she could pinch his cheek. "A mother always knows when her child is up to something!"

"I won't try to stop you. But I do have some things to share before you go." When questioned, the queen waved it off. "Rest first. We'll speak of it in the morning."

He knew he should try and do as his mother said, but he couldn't keep still. Too many thoughts were swirling as he lied in bed. Corrin, Takumi, the castle fire, Nohr, Valla... So much was happening all at once. There was no one here anymore he could ask about Nohr to figure out how Corrin was convinced to return with them. And Valla was a forbidden topic without a trip to the Bottomless Canyon. Should he have dragged Corrin there first? Would that have made a difference? Eventually giving up, he rose from bed for a nightly walk.

Right now, he hated Nohr for taking his sister from him once again. They'd only been together for one short month. But it wasn't just anger that hounded him down the steps. Mother was still struggling with her injuries. And he knew she was harboring her own pain from losing Corrin. He didn't doubt Takumi had new demons to haunt him in his dreams too. Yet his brother still pushed him away, because of the hurtful words he'd flung. It was all a mess, a painful, tragic mess. He needed fresh air to clear his head. Summer kept the night warm, but the breezes at this height were refreshing enough that he could breathe again.

He dismissed guards, just wanting time to himself. If the castle's defenses were broken once again, he had Yato on him. Not quite knowing where he was going, he was distracted from the gradually brightening sky by another glow. He'd wandered all the way out to the castle's lake. And he wasn't the only one.

"Hm? Is that... Azura?" Indeed, the princess was wading into the water. The breeze he'd unwittingly followed had been carrying that meaningful song of hers. Quite suddenly, he remembered the time she'd spent in Nohr. She might know the answers to some of my questions. With her ancient song and his sword of legend, perhaps together they could find a way to bring Corrin back and stop the combined menace of Nohr and Valla. "Wait... What is she doing? Azura!"

Bare feet slapping the water's surface, Kamui followed her into the lake.

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'Sing with me a song of birthrights and love
The light scatters to the sky above
Dawn breaks through the gloom, white as a bone
Lost in thoughts all alone'
"Lost in Thoughts, All Alone" by Rena Strober

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Part One
End

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Shoobute is an interesting move [in Shogi] in a disadvantageous position on which one wagers the outcome of the game.

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And here we are, folks. The end of arc one. I hope you've enjoyed this ride so far! We've got a lot to go, of course-this is only the start. Hell yeah!

After some discussion, I am considering shifting some of the formatting and separating each arc into its own fic. Waves is already so massive, just from arc one! It could be kind of intimidating for new readers to start, especially once I start adding to it. If I do this, the fic title could change to "Waves: Light" or "Waves, Arc One" - that sort of thing. This is easier to do on AO3 than FFN, as the former has a "series" function to link them together.

I've learned so much from all of the time and effort I've poured into this fanfic. There are some things I'd probably have done differently now, with the perspective I have at the end. It makes me very excited going forward. I hope to continue improving my writing, both fan works and my own original content.

As always, I have the playlist for you all to listen to (linked on my profile), and you can reach me on tumblr and twitter under the same handle, thedragonlover. I also have a tumblr blog dedicated to my fanfics now, luckysofar. Feel free to drop in for ideas, questions, or just to say hi. I might even write extra scenes or different POVs, if the mood strikes me!

The release of Waves, Arc Two, Dark is TBD! Check the social media mentioned above for updates, but for now - lots of dragon-y love!

-Dragon