Warning; this chapter is quite dark and may have disturbing content to some readers. Do not read if you are fainthearted. Warning, this is very dark.
Amanda did something to Alessa. I know she did. This steadfast, almost insane mantra, repeated soundlessly over and over in my mind. The profound image of my daughter permeates in my thoughts, I could not stop thinking about her.
My baby. My first child. My sweet and loving daughter. My mind runs through all horrible outcomes. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. I don't know if I could survive the blow.
Why would Amanda tell two different stories about what occurred in the house? First, she claims that she was brutally attacked upon opening the door. But then she told her daughters that she heard someone break into the house and hid in the bathroom with the babies.
I have so many unanswered questions roaming my head. I regret not searching for Amanda and confront her. But thinking about it now, I probably would have attacked her out of madness from all of this stress.
My terror swiftly turns to unbridled rage when I speak to Melissa. "What did Amanda tell you?"
Melissa is quick to answer. "She told me that someone broke into the house. A bunch of men came into the house and took Alessa!"
Sydney chimes in. "Aunt Mila keeps saying that Mom told her that she got beaten up. Said she fought off the men."
Melissa shakes her head at this as if that was the dumbest thing she ever heard. "Of course not. Amanda is pregnant and is 5'2. She can't take down a man on her own. Amanda reassured me that she wasn't hurt. She heard someone break a window while she was upstairs with the triplets and she fled into the nearest bathroom. Alessa was downstairs, playing with her toys. Why are you talking about these other stories?" She demands vehemently.
"Amanda lied! She's lying!" I can't control the words coming out of my mouth. "She's lying to the police! I know she is! She knows where Alessa is!" I feel like a small child at this moment. I never felt so hopeless before. The unthinkable crosses my mind and I have to shake away that thought to keep myself losing all of my sanity.
"Mila, calm down! Amanda is just as terrified as you! I promise you! Do you really think Amanda is involved in this? Are you insane?" Melissa rebuffs sharply.
I nod my head. "YES! HELL YES!" I yell. I then catch a glimpse of the girls. All of them are disturbed and emotional. Emma and Riley stare at me, their eyes stained with tears.
I do my best to calm myself. Taking shallow breaths in and out to soothe my nerves.
Melissa keeps going. "I know you are scared. We all are. But blaming Amanda without any form of solid evidence will help nothing!"
"Melissa! Amanda told two different stories! One about her being attacked and knocked out and the other about her hiding in the bathroom! That makes no sense! How can you tell different stories about the same event?" I probe.
"I...I…" Melissa's voice falters. "I….I'm not sure." She releases out a heavy sigh. "We will know the truth when the authorities figure it out. We are not detectives. We can't just go brand Amanda as a criminal without evidence or proof!"
I rub my temples as blood pounds in my eardrums. I know the truth at this point. I don't need a detective to tell me the obvious. I open my mouth to cuss Melissa out, but then she parks into the driveway of my penthouse. I was so overwhelmed with this that I didn't realize that we had driven for two hours.
Melissa decided to stay with me to help me care for the triplets. The apartment is large enough to hold everyone. I'm grateful that Melissa has accompanied me as I'm not in the right emotional state to care for the babies.
I start to think about all of the reasons why my daughter was taken. Instantly I think of Seth. He wanted to kill me and his children, sending a madman to harm us. But I haven't heard a word about him ever since the attack. I have been avoiding all of the articles about him as I did not want to have any reminder of him. But Melissa has been my messenger for the longest time and she has not said a word about him.
I search him online and my eyes widen with shock. Seth has committed suicide last week. He shot himself in his bedroom after one of the interviews with the police.
The only surviving perpetrator is the drug addict. The druggie that I would learn is named Gannon Goodfellow, who has been charged with drug paraphernalia and assault. There isn't much information about Seth's interviews, most likely they are going to keep it from the public until the investigation concludes.
"Seth is dead?" I mutter to myself. I expect to feel a sense of grief from his death, but I do not. Honestly, his death is a great relief for me.
I then think of Amanda. She is the last person to see Alessa, so she is automatically the person of interest.
Her dishonesty ruled her a suspect in my mind. No one would tell two different stories about a situation this urgent.
Alessa. I imagine her inside of a dark car, driving to an unknown location. I can only imagine how terrified my angel is. I imagine her crying her heart out, screaming out my name, wanting me to hold her.
I start to cry all over again, my broken sobs rattling my body. I couldn't take this suspense. I'm in the living room, sobbing my heart out as Melissa rubs my back to comfort me.
I hear Selyse becoming fussy, Watson weeping. Through my tears, I see my beautiful triplets. The only child that is calm is Hope. She has no clue of the turmoil upon us. I wish I was that innocent as her at this moment.
"We have a search party," Melissa reassures me. "We will find her. People are looking for her. Amanda is giving information." She sits next to me. "Everything is fine."
I'm inconsolable. My arms wrap around Melissa like a small child. I press my face into her chest, wailing loudly. Melissa embraces me tightly and rocks me back and forth. "It's okay, it's okay. We have a search party. They are looking for her. We will find her! We can't give up hope. She can't be far." I feel Melissa's warm fingers running through my hair gently. She keeps whispering kind words to me, but none of them work.
The next six days are the hardest days I ever experienced in my life. I always expect to hear Alessa's sweet voice in the house. I hear her hasty footsteps running down the hallway. Always expecting to see her play with her toys on the floor.
All I have are the triplets. They are oblivious about their older sister's absence. Completely innocent as can be.
For the entire course of six days, I have not heard a word out of Amanda. She did not call me. She didn't text me. I was too emotionally distressed to venture out with the search party, so Melissa took my place. Melissa told me that Amanda has not joined the search party, even after her questioning with the police. Melissa claimed that Amanda's reasoning for her absence was her morning sickness and backaches.
Of course, I know that is bullshit.
In the midst of all of this, my friend, Liz finally moved down to Washington and she spent hours on the phone reassuring me that Alessa will be found. I make sure to run this mantra in my mind. We will find her. She is okay and well. She is. I know she is. We will find her!
I have to be positive. I can't let negativity bring me down.
But as days turned into weeks, my emotions began to fluctuate. I would break down crying, rendering myself into a broken mess. Other times, I'm enraged at the world, wanting to lash and tear everything around me. But mostly I feel numb as if I took a powerful drug.
I keep having horrific nightmares that make me restless at night. They are all about Alessa. Seeing her being snatched away as I helplessly watch.
The triplets' presence is the only reason why my sanity has not completely disappeared. Selyse has grown affectionate towards me, she would randomly shout, "I love you," to me and enjoys cuddling with me. Watson is always waiting for my attention and loves to be in my presence. He almost always wants to be in his mother's arms. Hope is the only person that is different from them. She is starting to walk faster and is increasingly becoming more active. Climbing out of her crib and running around the house. She seemingly has no fear of hurting herself whenever she falls and trips when she runs around.
Melissa still comes to visit me to help as she couldn't stay at the penthouse for long for the girls' sake. Nancy and Daddy are occupied with Ellie, but they do make time to skype me whenever they can. Everyone does their best to keep my spirits up, but it is almost impossible to keep my head up high.
But as weeks passes by, my optimism is eaten away piece by piece.
DECEMBER
JANUARY
FEBRUARY
MARCH
APRIL
"Alessa is coming back! Alessa is coming back! Alessa is coming back!" I keep repeating this mantra to me every single day. It is almost like a coping mechanism for me. I have to think positively, even if my spirits are lowered. I can't let myself fall into despair.
No. No. I can't give up hope. Not yet. Not yet. Selyse, Watson, and Hope all need their big sister. I make sure to live every single day to the fullest. Celebrating the triplet's birthday, taking Watson to get his first haircut. Dad decides to give me the keys to the penthouse to make my permanent home as a birthday gift.
It is on April 5th when I get a phone call from Melissa. It is a miracle I answered the phone today, as I've been occupied with the children. I see that I have three missed calls from an unknown number. "Mila, I have something to tell you." Her voice is weak.
"What?" I croak, my blood running cold from her tone.
"Look at the news," Melissa mutters.
I gulp loudly as I look at the current news. My mind begins to spin with excitement. "They found her!" I blurt out. Alessa is coming home! My voice is as jubilant as a small child in a candy store.
Then I look at a series of brand new articles.
Pregnant Amanda Carpenter has been arrested and charged first-degree murder and making false reports.
April 5th, 2021
Prisoner Christian Grey suspected in the case of Alessa Sessler.
April 5th, 2021
Police find the human remains of 2-year-old Alessa Sessler.
April 5th, 2021
"Mila?" Melissa is sobbing heavily. "MILA! I was wrong! I am so sorry!" I hear my phone ringing loudly in my eardrums as more calls come to my cell phone. The room begins to violently rotate around me.
The last thing I remember is Selyse screaming out, "Mommy" as I collapse to the hardened wooden floor.
Next chapter will come soon. Reviews and thoughts.
