Chapter Fifteen
Open Doors Inside the Mind
Rey watched the tall dark man from the corner of her eye; she was more worried about Ben than she was willing to admit, even to herself. He wasn't telling her something, but she didn't want to press him until he was ready. Ben had chosen to stand slightly back and away from the other people crowded inside the small cockpit of the Falcon. Chewbacca had claimed the seat next to her, as was his right; his furry fingers flying over the lit-up control panels. He had set their flight plan before glancing at Rey for a nod of approval. She smiled, it was enough for him and the old ship rumbled to life. The thrusters gathering the fuel they would need to proper this wayward bunch of fighters out into the galaxy.
Her mind wandered back to their exploits earlier in the day and she couldn't stop the tiny smile of satisfaction. For the first time in her life she had taken something she wanted and been rewarded for it. The bond between her and Leia's son was stronger than ever. She could feel it pulsating in the back of her mind, reminding her of his presence. It was comforting.
Poe and Finn were speaking softly, something about where they would need to stop for fuel and which space ports would be safe for them. The presence of the Final Order or the First Order, whatever a person chose to call them, was still out there. Add to that the Sith hive-mind and that spelled trouble for her and the friends that had joined her quest.
Destroying Palpatine had been difficult; the most difficult thing she'd ever done in fact. But she was confident that between her skills and Ben's they could handle whatever was thrown at them. Having Finn there was also a greater comfort than she would have thought. He was her best friend and he understood what they were up against in a way that no one but Ben could. It made him an invaluable addition to their team.
During the short time she'd spent together with Ben, Rey had gotten a clear sense of how much power was at his disposal. She could understand why Snoke had pursued him. Rey was powerful, very powerful in fact, but Ben accessed both sides of the Force in equal measures making him unique. He could have learned to call the lightning from the darkside same as her, but that had been one skill that he'd never wanted. Knowing that that was what had ultimately killed his grandfather had been enough of a deterrent to stay away from it. It had been the only path to power that he'd knowingly given up.
She recalled the way his Force energies had surged within him when she kissed him. It had been both wonderful and humbling. Ben was not a person that gave over control easily. He felt he'd been controlled by those around him since he'd been born, and he hated it. Rey held a power over him that no one in the universe could claim, he loved her. She'd felt his turbulent emotions; they were all encompassing, and she was the focus of those vibrant, volatile feelings. Her own affection for him was every bit as deep and just as confusing.
Carefully, she reached out with her mind, brushing up against his in a soft caress. His internal state was a mass of chaotic twisting emotions that seemed to represent Ben's ever-changing mind. But layered through the chaos was his insistent need for her. She couldn't fix what had happened to him in the past, but she could ensure that her affection was never a question he had to answer. She pushed a small bit of her pleasure at his presence along the link and then glanced back to see his reaction.
Ben's dark eyes snapped up, colliding with her shy smile. His expression softened and he gave her a nod, accepting her small gesture along connection. It wasn't anything that the others would have picked up on, but she knew what it meant. Those moments before she'd passed her lightsaber to him through the Force had been incredibly intimate; it had given them a way to communicate without the necessity of words. Rey turned back toward the console, her concentration shifting to the upcoming problems they were likely to face.
"We can try Mimban. The First Order's presence was limited there." Poe commented as he poured over the navigation charts.
"Batuu would be better. It's on the way to the unknown regions." Ben's voice broke through the silence like a plasma blade.
Poe snorted, "It would if we were headed back to Exegol. But since we actually need to get to the Ring of Kafrene, we don't need to venture that far out." He turned his attention back to the maps, "What about Utapau?"
Finn's head snapped up at that. "That might work. There's a small port just outside the main city. No one wants to go there, including the First Order. It's dirty and people would rather slit your throat than talk to you."
"That'll work." Poe agreed readily.
Ben didn't say anything else. He simply inclined his head in acknowledgement of their plan. Rey sensed that he was uneasy with their decision, but he wasn't going to counter it. She didn't understand why, and this wasn't the time to ask.
XXXX
The Falcon stretched into hyperspace and they were well on their way. The familiar interactions between Rey and the other members of her resistance family were awkward for him. Ben slipped silently from the cockpit searching out a quiet place to sit and wait. He didn't want to be in the way and yet it was taking every ounce of self-control he had not to take control of his father's ship. In his heart, he had always been a pilot and sitting back to allow other people to determine his course was extremely difficult.
Ben wanted to be where Rey was but there were so many reasons why he should stay away from the group as a whole. Instead he wandered through the ship that had been his father's pride and joy with a heavy heart. He allowed his long fingers to run over the smooth metal panels as he past. He could almost hear his father's voice yelling at him to keep out of the gunner's pod. Or to 'stop touching the control docks', they work just fine.
An intense pang of sadness sliced through him as memory after memory slipped past his defenses. He'd robbed himself of years with his parents. The choices that he'd made had left him the last of both bloodlines, the Skywalkers and the Solos. Disembodied voices resounded through the corridors of the Falcon; Ben slipped into a small personal space.
He recognized Rose's voice; she was talking to someone that had yet to respond. As soon as she did, he realized that he didn't know this person. Glad that he'd avoided any interaction with the two women, he stood in the darkness of the pod listening to their conversation.
"Can they control each other's minds?" The unknown voice asked worriedly. "The Jedi and Sith?"
"I'm not sure. I don't think so." Rose must have been further away because her answer was slightly muffled. Not enough that he couldn't make it out, but not as clear as the other voice.
"He could be influencing her."
He blinked in surprise at her comment. Was that the only way that her friends believed she'd be with him was if he was forcing her to through mind control? While he'd known he had a terrible reputation throughout the galaxy, he'd never considered that. His insides twisted at the thought. Relationships had been against Snoke's commands for him. Whether they were the type that resulted in friends or something more intimate. Obviously, the rest of the galaxy wouldn't know that tiny bit of insider information.
There was a pause and then an uncertain Rose added. "Rey's smarter than that."
Ben leaned against the small bed, careful to keep his feet from making any noise as he shifted. He didn't want them to know he'd overheard their conversation. Kriff, he didn't want to overhear this conversation.
The unknown woman wasn't giving up her position on the subject. "I just don't get it. He's evil. Ren brutally killed in the name of the First Order and it's like she'd just forgiving him for all that death. Whatever spell he's got her under…it's just…messed up. And it's gross."
With difficulty he crammed the anger rising inside him back into the dark chasms of his soul. Ben could feel it churning like a cyclone seeking a release.
"He saved her life. According to Rey, he saved her life a few times." Rose didn't sound as confident as he would've expected. But at least she was aware he wasn't the same man that had callously murdered thousands of innocents.
"Her lifedebt is probably going to get us killed." The same could not be said for her friend.
Ben sank down onto the narrow bed. He wanted to disagree with what the unknown woman had just said, but he couldn't. There was death at the end of this journey, but it wouldn't be Rey. And he'd do everything he could to make sure it wasn't ant of her friends either. He wondered about their other comments. Ben didn't want to believe that Rey might regret anything they'd shared, especially when came to him. Was he putting her in a position where she would? At the end of this journey would she resent him?
"You'll be the end of her. You know that."
The uninvited voice inside his head resounded like a sonic canon through his skull. Clenching his teeth, he focused on trying to retain control his mind; keep his violent emotions under strict control. Who are you? He asked through the pain.
"We've met. You have something that belongs to me."
He inhaled, surprised by the shallow quality of his own breaths. The hive. He answered without hesitation.
A chuckle battered against his shields. "That's a very simple definition of what we are."
Ben felt the slithering tendrils of the other minds as they moved over his shields looking for any weaknesses. It was sucking at his energies like a leach, leaving him with a feeling of inferior strength. With every passing second, they were in contact; the presence grew stronger and his defenses grew weaker.
"Did you believe that we abandoned that 'particular' vessel without any ability to control it?"
Ben was ashamed to admit that 'yes' that was exactly what he'd thought. What do you want?
"Right now? Nothing, you 'are' nothing we want. Later? We will take EVERYTHING."
And with that last comment the presence receded, and his shields flexed violently before shattering apart entirely. Ben blinked when the pain hit. The mental barriers he'd been trained to hold since before he could talk snapped back and rebounded in on his mind. His muscles seized and sent him stumbling backwards into the metal shelf on the wall. Ben's head cracked against the small shelf he hadn't realized was there until that very moment. Pain rocketed through him and the warm rush of blood along the back of his right ear and down his neck surprised him.
The women had still been talking until his crashing body had alerted them that they weren't alone. The compartment door hissed and slid open revealing two irritated sets of eyes. Ben's vision blurred before he slumped down and the darkness claimed him.
Rose stared at his slumped body as realization set in. She and Jannah had said so many things that she'd never have wanted him to hear. And now it appeared as though he'd overheard everything. Her gaze flickered to Jannah's and she was gratified to see that her friend was every bit as horrified as she was. Reaching into the compartment, she shook him.
"Ben?" Soft hands started to reach out as Rose tried to check his vitals.
If she was surprised by his presence, the lightning fast arrival of Rey was shocking. She raced into the larger quarters and then slid to a stop when she saw his unconscious form. Pushing past Rose, she grabbed his face between her shaking hands. Her eyes were begging him to sit up and answer her. "Ben?"
He didn't so much as twitch.
"Please answer me." She pulled her right hand back, her eyebrows knitting together with concern at the bright red splotch she saw there. The blood was fresh and there was enough of it to concern her. Turning toward Rose and Jannah, she asked. "What happened?"
Rose shook her head, her eyes wide with the truth of her next words. "I have no idea. We were talking and then we heard something hit the side of the wall, so we opened the pod…and there he was."
Jannah handed Rey a cloth towel and sank down onto her haunches near Rose. "Is he okay?"
Rey didn't answer. Instead returning her attention to the man in front of her. Reaching out with shaking fingers she felt for a pulse. She'd been watching the passing stars when the link between them had suddenly and inexplicably gone dark sending a bolt of fear racing through her. Releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding Rey felt the steady thump of his heart. Oh, thank the Force.
Finn hurried past the stunned Rose and Jannah, dropping to his knees at her side. "What happened?" She glanced over, his face was a mask of confusion and concern. His reaction was surprising considering his general comments where Ben was concerned. But she welcomed any support she could get from her friend.
"I have no idea." Her fingers hadn't left his neck, the steady thumping of his heart was keeping her calmer than she would have been otherwise.
He frowned, "Poe! Chewie!" When Rey looked at him, he added. "We can't move him without help."
Rey pushed him back and then stood up calling on the Force to help move their burden. She wrapped Ben's limp form in a blanket of energy and carefully pulled him from his slumped position into one that allowed his body to stretch out on the bed. Frustration coursed through her when she realized that he was too tall for the small area. Releasing the power she'd accessed, Rey reached under his knees and leaned them against the wall. It probably wasn't all that comfortable, but it was the best she could do at the moment.
"Never mind." Finn murmured under his breath. He was constantly surprised by what Rey could do. His own limited access to the Force would likely never result in that type of control. Glancing up he realized that Poe and Chewie were already standing in the narrow door, their combined expressions difficult to read as they watched the scene in front of them.
"This guy spends a lot of time unconscious." Poe's accurate assessment of Ben's awareness levels irritated the kriff out of Rey.
She wanted them to like Ben; to accept him. He was a part of her life now and if they wanted to remain with her, then they would have to understand that he came as part of that package. And yet she understood their reticence to do so. A lot had happened to them since the rise of the First Order and Ben was the face of many of those tragedies. No, not Ben. Kylo Ren. She corrected her previous thought. Her eyes dropped to his slack features and she ran her fingers along his face hoping it would help revive him. "Was that comment really necessary?" She finally asked quietly.
Poe pressed his lips together in aggravation. It was obvious that he wanted to say something else but wisely chose to remain quiet.
The whine of the ion engines and the sudden lurching of the Falcon as it prematurely dropped from hyperspace sent all of them stumbling about the cabin. Rey barely moved as she instinctively surround both her and Ben with the Force.
Chewie growled and scrambled back toward the cockpit. Poe was micro-seconds behind him. Another bone shaking blast send Finn staggering into the center game table of the cargo area. Rey quickly hauled herself up, stopping briefly to check on Ben before racing toward the cockpit.
"Keep an eye on him!" She called over her shoulder to no in particular.
Rose looked at Jannah and then at Finn. Something else hit the Falcon and the engines complained as power was diverted to the shields.
"Finn! Get to the guns!" Rey's voice boomed back from the front of the ship.
Shaking the uncertainty from himself, Finn rushed toward the ladder that led down to the pivoting chair that controlled the Falcon's guns. While he loved the action and that chair, he was getting tired of wondering if he was going to die in the cold void of space.
Rose hurried to take Rey's place near Ben's unconscious body. She didn't know what the hell was happening, but she didn't want their best chance at surviving whatever this was distracted. Another teeth-shattering blast shook the old freighter and she could've sworn that she felt the old bolts rattle a bit. She wasn't sure where Jannah had gotten off to, but for the moment her place was here.
XXXX
Ben swam through the darkness seeking a tiny sliver of light. With some relief he finally saw it in the distance. The contact with the hive had sent him careening into the darkside without a center and finding his way back had been extremely difficult. The out of control descent had taken him more time than he would've thought to recover. Grasping at the bright light that was his own core had allowed him to pull his mind back toward his body. He'd sensed he wasn't alone in the darkness and the presence next to him wasn't Rey. Female, but not the one he'd assume would be at his side. Shoving aside the uncomfortable feeling of being watched, he latched onto the light. Ignoring the instant headache pulsating through his skull, Ben pushed himself toward that light.
Occasional bone-jarring shifts of his world almost threw him off his course, but slowly he was able to traverse the darkness. Feeling in his fingers and toes added to the painful sensation of his head. There was a tingling sensation along his arms and legs as his body started to respond to his commands. Finally, his control reached his eyelids and he willed them to slip apart. His head was splitting with the reminder that he'd not come away from his encounter unscathed. The minds that made up the hive were stronger than he and Rey, at least in their command of the Force, which didn't bode well for a fair fight.
His eyelids fluttered and finally revealed the world beyond the darkness. Everything was blurry and spinning with a frenetic energy that instantly put him on guard and made him want to vomit. Rose's worried brown eyes came into focus and he flinched away from the concern he saw there. Everything behind her was moving as though the world was being bombarded by laser canons.
"Are you okay?" The hesitancy in her question made it clear she didn't particularly want to be there.
Carefully, he sat up and leaned against the wall. He could hear the screams of the ion engines as the old freighter struggled with whatever maneuvers the pilot was coaxing out of her. The constant sound of canon fire from the guns below the main deck had him struggling to stand.
"What's going on?" his voice was weaker than he would've liked. His legs nearly buckled. So all of him of weaker than he would've liked…
Rose released a long breath, "We're under attack."
"Yeah, I figured that one out. By whom?"
Shaking her head, "We don't know."
He realized that it must be Rey piloting the ship or they'd likely already be blasted to pieces. Struggling to slightly unsteady feet, Ben pushed past a surprised Rose and stumbled toward the main cockpit. His world spun but he managed to keep his feet under him as the ship was tossed about. The shields wouldn't handle much more of this. He was intimately familiar with the workings of the Falcon. A particularly nasty barrage sent him reeling sideways into the paneled walls.
Grateful that Rose hadn't followed him, he gathered his strength and reached out to the Force…and he found exactly nothing. He couldn't feel the power; he couldn't even sense its presence in the galaxy. Stopping he blinked in both surprise and rising fear. What had the hive presence done to him? His head was still trying to split apart and his body was unstable at best. His eyes lifted to the doorway that led into the pilot's domain. He pushed down his uncontrolled emotions and proceeded forward. He could help; he knew he could. As good as they were, he knew more about this particular ship than almost anyone else alive.
The cockpit was fully engulfed in chaos when he finally reached it. Rey was indeed at the controls, her hands flying over the panels with a practiced ease that made him smile, despite their current situation. Poe had taken up the position just to her left, his eyes wide with disbelief as another cruiser dropped out of hyperspace to join the battle.
"Rey, we can't take much more of this." He warned.
Chewie growled his agreement and hurried to shift the failing power grids to yet another bypass line.
Rey turned irritated eyes on the other pilot and then stopped when she realized Ben was leaning against the doorway. Whatever she'd been about to say was sidelined by that realization. Her eyes softened and she sent him a small smile. Poe followed her eyeline and then rolled his eyes.
"Glad to see you managed to wake up just in time to die."
Aggravated hazel eyes shot him a disapproving look as Rey turned back toward the glass panels. "We're going to be fine."
Ben didn't take Poe's bait, instead he looked at the flashing lights on the controls and pulled up every memory he had of his father's ship. "Have you bypassed the flowlines?"
Chewie growled out an affirmative.
"What about the tertiary cargo power packs?"
Three sets of eyes turned toward him in surprise. "Obviously not. I'll take care of that." He didn't wait for a response, just turned and stumbled along the tilting corridor toward the back end of the cargo bays. Not having the force to help steady the rocking world around him was causing his stomach to rebel. Without warning, he had to lean to the side and wait for the vertigo to pass before continuing to the back of the bay.
Struggling with the heavy grates, Ben missed his power and the ease with which he could've accomplished this task had he had control of the Force. He wanted to do something, no, he needed to do something to feel like part of this ragtag group. Right now, this was all he could do. He'd deal with his fluctuating powers if they survived.
The metal grates cut into his hands as he hauled them away from the compartment that housed the third line of backup power. The ones that his father had installed years ago. He dropped down into the tight space and contorted his tall frame until he was able to reach past the air line and electrical conduits. He managed to get his long fingers around the bypass knife switch and slowly pulled it down. The instantaneous boost to the engine tossed him forward and jammed his hand painfully into the unforgiving control lines.
The Falcon lurched and then all the blasting ceased as the ship was pulled into hyperspace where their attackers couldn't track them. Ben yanked his arm out swearing when a piece of old metal opened a long cut from his wrist to his elbow. The bright red splash of blood was the first thing he saw as his arm came free. Grinding his teeth together, Ben grabbed the bottom of his tunic and ripped it off to create a makeshift bandage.
"Ben?" The voice belonged to Rose.
"I'm fine." He wriggled backwards until he was in the open compartment and then levered himself from the hole. He ignored the way her eyes widened at the blood dripping from his elbow and hauled himself up onto the main decking. He didn't want her sympathy. Grabbing the sharp grating he maneuvered it back into place and sank down to catch his breath. The slow flicker of his bond with Rey caused an internal sigh of relief. He wasn't cut off completely or whatever the hive had done had started to wear off.
The bright edges of power were again pushing at his mind in a familiar and comforting way. He inhaled deeply and then pushed himself to his feet.
"What did you do?"
Rose was a mechanic so he shouldn't have been surprised by her question. But the way she asked it made him wonder if she meant the bypass or his arm. He decided to interpret it as a maintenance question. "I rerouted a third set of generators that my father installed about fifteen years ago."
Rey rushed into the cargo area, her eyes swinging wildly as she searched for him. As soon as she saw him standing up, she rushed forward and planted herself in his arms. "I was worried about you." She admitted softly.
He could feel her anxiety and the barely restrained fear of loss that pulsed along the bond between them. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close before murmuring, "I'm fine. Just a bad a dream."
"You were unconscious." She retorted. Pulling away, Rey stared up into his dark brown eyes. "You were completely unresponsive, Ben."
"It was a very bad dream." He didn't want to get into this with everyone else standing around staring at them. While he was okay with sharing things with her, he wasn't okay with everyone else knowing his weaknesses. His senses were returning quickly, and he could feel their confusion and worse, their ever-present distrust. He would tell Rey, but not right now.
TBC…
Author's Notes: New Chapter…sorry it's just the one this week. But more to come.
If you could, take a moment and let me know what you think?
