Hello my lovelies. This chapter may seem to bounce between a few things, but that's life, right? Also, I'm running out of ideas for this story and it seems too soon to have it come to an end. If anyone has any prompts, I'll gladly read them. Also, as I was re-reading my last chapter (as I do before any update since I'm writing a few different things at once) I noticed A LOT of typos and mistakes with names. I'm so sorry for that. I don't have a Beta and I'm ashamed I didn't catch those mistakes. Thanks for sticking with me through them. Remember, I love reviews! Thank you.
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Chapter 16
Once back at the hotel, the kids weren't sure how they should be feeling. They were quiet, but happy that their grandmother was going to be okay. Oliver came up to Emma as she sat on the sofa. "Mama? Can we go swimming?"
Emma looked at the time. It was almost eight and the pool was open until ten, but it was a long day and she knew both she and her wife were tired. "I don't know buddy. It's late but let me talk to your mom."
"Talk to me about what?" Regina asked, coming out of the room in more comfortable clothes.
"He wants to go swimming." Emma said, also looking over to Zelena for she was sure if her kids went, Tori would come too.
"Didn't you kids get enough swimming today?" Regina asked with a bit of a grin.
Oliver smiled a bit too. "No. That was scary swimming. We want fun swimming."
"Well, it's up to your mama."
Emma looked at her wife. 'Why me?"
"Because you like doing that stuff. I'm not much of a swimmer; you know that." Regina winked. "Besides, they know how to get you to agree."
Emma gave Regina a look, she was right and knew Emma wouldn't be able to say no. "Fine, but that means you can't say no to me later…"
Regina rolled her eyes playfully. "We'll see about that."
Oliver sighed. "Is that a yes or a no?"
Emma chuckled. "It's a yes, kid. Go tell the others and get changed." She then looked at Regina. "Will you at least come down there with us? It's hard to watch four kids all the time."
"It's even harder when you and your eldest compete to see who can stand on their hands the longest." Zelena said with a chuckle. "I'll come down. Tori isn't sure if she wants to swim, but I think if she sees you all in there, she will give it a try."
"I'm going down too." Anslie stated. "I just have to get changed."
Regina sighed and followed Emma to their room as the blonde changed. "Honey, I'll come down for a little bit, but I want to get to bed early so I can see mom in the morning. Maybe even make some breakfast so we're not eating out all the time."
"That's fine, babe. Thank you." She put her top on and searched for her bottoms. "I was thinking of taking the girls out tomorrow. You know with this stuff with your mom, what happened with them kind of got swept under the rug. I don't think they're over it though, and I want them to know we're here for them. Henry said that when Malory fell into the lagoon, it freaked Eva out and that's why she jumped in to 'save' her. When Henry asked her about it, she got really upset. I think they're hiding their feelings because of Cora."
Regina listened as she sat on the bed. "You're probably right. We never did get to have a good talk with them, and it was pretty serious. It's just everything with mom happened so fast."
Emma finished suiting up and went to Regina, pulling her up for a kiss. "It did, and we dealt with that because it was life threatening. Now that we know she's okay, we should make sure they are as well. If I'm not back by noon, are you okay with talking to them without me?"
"If you're okay with that, so am I." Emma stated. "I'll see if Henry will watch Oliver and I'll take the girls somewhere. I just want them to know that it's okay if they're still scared. I also want to make sure Eva is okay. Honestly, I think it's a bit worrying that she has seemed to move on so fast after being tortured. So either she's not dealing with it, or she thinks she can't tell us and either of those scenarios are not healthy."
Regina bit her lip. "Honey, can you talk to her alone? Maybe tonight after you get back from the pool? You're right, she should be more traumatized than she is."
"I can, but baby, you know she feels more comforted by you just like Ry does with me."
"I know, but you are the one with training for this. Can you please try?"
"Of course I will. Now, you sure you don't want to change and come swimming?"
"Positive. Honestly, I think I'm going to stay here and wind down and make everyone a snack for when they get done." Regina stated, looking at her wife standing before her. "Gods, you're so beautiful. Even after all this time and a set of twins, your body is pure perfection." She said, her nails tracing Emma's abs.
Emma looked at Regina and ran her fingers through her hair. "Babe, not that I don't love your compliments and everything, but are you okay? You've been acting a little different since we got here."
Regina sighed. "Yes, I'm fine. I guess with after we went through with our Eva and then my mother, I'm realizing how very precious life is and I'm trying to enjoy it. Who cares about how many calories someone eats and how many hours of work they did. When I go, I want to know that you and my children knew how much you are loved, that we had fun times, and I don't want them remembering me stressing over the small stuff."
Emma sat next to Regina. "Honey, we know how much you love us. I completely understand what you're saying and I love this side of you, so I'm not complaining. I just don't know how I feel about you worrying about what we'll remember when you die. I don't want you to die and I'm not ready for any of that."
"I don't either and I'm not at all ready for either of us to go, but I can't help but think about it. Emma, if something does happen, I don't want you to be alone the rest of your life. I want you to move on."
"Regina, I…there's no one else for me." She stroked Regina's cheek. "But I will try, okay? That's the best I can give you."
"I'll take it. Go. Take the kids swimming before the pool closes."
"Okay, baby. I love you." Emma said, kissing Regina once more before putting a long tank over her suite and slipping on her flip flops.
The two came out and saw that they were the last ones there, the kids impatiently waiting. "Finally." Henry muttered.
"Had a hard time changing?" Zelena asked with a wink, to which Emma rolled her eyes.
"Sorry, we were having a conversation. Okay kids, Mom's going to stay up here and have a snack ready for us. Let's go."
Down in the pool area, Emma smiled as she watched both Zelena and Anslie working with Tori to teach her to swim. They were amazing mothers and while it was sad that they had a miscarriage, the timing with Tori couldn't have been better for all involved. Emma then looked over to her boys who were playing in the shallow area where there was water basketball. She knew Henry was being patient and loved him for how he was with Oliver. Emma then looked over to her girls, her beautiful little girls who had just gone through so much. It didn't get past her that they stuck close to each other and even if they were swimming and smiling, they weren't the same as they were before Regina and Emma left for their cruise.
Emma swam over to them and smiled as she pulled Eva into her arms and twirled her around. She then reached for Ry and with one girl on each hand, she swam and pulled them more into the pool. "How are you girls doing?"
"What do you mean?" Ry asked, holding Emma's hand.
"I mean, how are you? We haven't been able to talk about what happened before Gramma got sick."
Eva pulled herself closer to Emma, wrapping herself around the side of her mother and Ry did the same on the other side. Emma stood in the water, holding her girls as they both rest their heads on her shoulders. "You mean when I got taken?"
"Yes, baby. I'm so sorry we haven't been able to talk about it."
Eva sniffed and Emma looked at her, surprised to see she was crying. Ry reached over and wiped Eva's tears. "She cries a lot, Mama. She just didn't want to tell you because Gramma got sick."
Emma sighed and went to the side of the pool, sitting on the steps. She was glad no one else but their family was in there, but she still wanted more privacy with her girls. She looked over to Zelena who gave a nod. "We got them; you go." She said quietly, letting Emma know they'd watch the boys.
"Girls? Can we go back up to the room so we can talk about this with Mommy? We can come back to swim tomorrow."
Ry looked at Eva who nodded and Emma, got out, still holding her girls as if they were only five again. She had to put them down so they could pat off with towels and then wrapped themselves in their robes. Emma did the same with her towel and put her shirt and flip flops on and then went to the boys. "Guys, I'm taking the girls upstairs. We need to have a conversation with them before it's too late."
Henry understood. "Good. I think Eva really needs to let it out. We'll be good for Auntie Zee and Auntie Anslie."
"Thanks, kid. Oh and Henry, on Wednesday, you and I are going to check out Boston, okay?"
He smiled wide at that. "Thanks, Ma."
"What about me?" Oliver asked. "Can't I come with?"
"Buddy, we're going to look at museums and historical stuff. I don't want you to get bored. Besides, while Henry and I are gone, your mom said something about taking you and your sisters to a movie."
"Oh. Okay yeah, that works."
Emma chuckled and then went back to the girls, taking their hands and heading back up to the room. Once back, they all changed and then met back in the living area, the girls in between their moms. Eva cuddled in with Regina and Ry cuddled in with Emma. "Okay, my sweet girls, let's get everything out. You can tell us anything and we'll be here. Eva, Ry said you've been crying a lot?"
"What?" Regina asked, looking at her little one. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Because you had to worry about Gramma. I know I'm safe now, I know Fiona is gone, I don't know why I keep crying or having nightmares."
Emma reached over and took her hand. "Because you went through a horrible thing, my love. I'd honestly be worried if you didn't have nightmares or bad feelings. I should have talked to you sooner, no matter what was going on, and I'm sorry I didn't, but honey, you're going to have those feelings for a while. It's natural with the memories, Bumble Bee."
Malory looked up at Emma. "Like your bad dreams?"
Emma sighed; she didn't know her kids knew about her nightmares. "I don't get them much, but yes, like mine."
Eva looked over as well. "So I'm gonna have bad dreams until I'm old like you?"
Regina couldn't stop the chuckle escape her and Emma gave her a glare. Emma then gave Eva's hand a squeeze. "Maybe, maybe not. Honey…you went through one thing. It was terrible and I'm not trying to make it seem like it was small, because it wasn't. I'm sure you were terrified, and I know you were hurt, and it was awful. But I went through years of bad things which I think is why I have nightmares still from time to time. I hope you don't; I hope this is something you can one day recover from." Emma then ran her fingers through Ry's hair. "You too, Honeybee. I know you weren't taken, but you still went through the pain and fear too."
"One thing you two have that Mama didn't have though, is us. You have a huge family who love and care so much about you. You have so many people to pick from to talk to about what ever you're feeling. We want you to talk. We want to know what you're feeling and we're never going to tell you that your feelings are wrong or invalid. You have a right to feel whatever you feel. No matter what else is going on, we're here for you." Eva cuddled into Regina and Regina could feel her baby girl's body shaking as she cried. Regina held her close, tears in her own eyes. "I'm here." She whispered. "I've got you."
"It was so scary, mommy." Eva said between sobs and Malory cuddled more into Emma. Emma moved so she could hold all her girls. "I thought she was going to kill me. I think I even begged her to just kill me at one point. It hurt so bad and I couldn't stop thinking about if she got Malory too. It was all my fault and I would have felt terrible if she had Ry too."
Ry turned and wrapped her arms around her sister. "It wasn't your fault, Eva. I keep telling you that."
"It was my fault." Eva sobbed. "It was all my fault. I was trying to make a new friend and I acted like a jerk and let her be mean to you and even hurt Oliver. I mean, I didn't know she was going to hurt him, but still. It was all my fault."
Regina sighed and pulled Eva so she could look at her in the eyes. "It was not your fault. Yes, you made some bad choices, however, she would have come for you and Ry no matter what. She wanted your magic, your power. Nothing could have stopped her."
"You and Mama could have. When she had me tied up, she said she had to do this when you two were gone. It was because of me that she knew you were leaving."
"No, baby girl. She knew it because she wanted to know it. Honey, I know you're not going to believe me now, but I'll keep saying it until you do; it was not your fault."
Emma reached over and wiped at Eva's tears. "Honey, I know you're going to blame yourself. I know because I used to do the same thing. I always blamed myself for everything. I got hit because I looked at them wrong. I got punished because I washed the dishes wrong. One day, you're going to realize you did nothing wrong and Mommy and I are just trying to make that day come sooner and not later."
Eva's crying slowed down and she turned to curl into Malory's arms. "I'm sorry she hurt you, Ry. I'm so sorry for that."
Malory kissed her sister's forehead. "And I'm sorry she hurt you. I'm sorry I couldn't stop her."
Emma looked over at Regina and gave a soft smile. "Girls, you're both so sweet. You understand now that you can come to us, correct?"
"Yes, Mama."
"Alright. Then how about we have some milk and cookies."
Emma looked as surprised as the girls. "Cookies before bed?"
Regina chuckled. "Yes. We're on a vacation of sorts, so I made some chocolate chip cookies." She got up and brought back a tray with a carton of milk, glasses, and a mountain of cookies.
Emma reached first and took a bite of one. "Oh my gods, these are amazing." She said as crumbs flew out of her mouth.
"Emma, dear. Manners." Regina said, wiping Emma's lips.
"Vacation." The blonde said with a shrug.
The girls giggled and grabbed their own cookies. When everyone else came back and got changed, they all had some cookies and milk as well. As everyone was getting ready for bed, Eva came over to Emma and cuddled up with her. "Mama? I've been trying to be brave and strong, but can I please sleep with you and mommy tonight? I sleep so much better when I have you two protecting me."
Emma felt her eyes get moist with tears and she stroked her daughter's cheek. "My sweet girl. Yes, you can sleep in our bed tonight, but please know that we protect you no matter where we are. We were on the other side of the world and came back for you, my love. That's what mother's do."
"Your mom didn't." Malory said, scooting closer to her mom. "When you were getting hurt, she didn't come save you." It was accusatory so much as it was questioning. Emma knew her girls knew some of her childhood, but not all of it. Henry was about their age when she talked to him, but she didn't want her girls knowing all of her story, especially because it made their other mother look bad.
Emma glanced around, seeing that Oliver and Tori were in bed and Regina, Zelena, and Anslie were acting busy, she then looked at her girls. "Girls, it was different with me. My mother would have come for me if she knew about me at the time. If she knew I was getting hurt, I know that she and Grandpa would have saved me."
"Why didn't they know about you?" Eva asked, twirling some of Emma's hair in her fingers. "I've asked them, but they just said something made them not know."
Regina sighed, knowing she couldn't leave Emma to answer all their questions. She came and sat down, facing her three blonde girls. "It was because of me."
"Regina, you don't…" Emma started, but Regina interrupted.
"Emma, we knew this time would come, just like it did with Henry, and it will do again with Oliver." She looked at her little ones and hoped this wouldn't change how they felt about her. "There was a time when I wasn't a good person." Regina started and told them the closest thing to a "child friendly" version of her story, hoping against hope that her girls wouldn't think badly of her.
"You see Mom was pushed into doing that."
"Yeah, by Rumple!" Ry said, crossing her arms. "I don't like him no more."
Eva looked at Regina and then at Emma. "You knew this and still fell in love with her?" Those words broke Regina's heart, but she understood them.
"Baby, I fell in love with her way before I knew the story, before the curse broke. However, before we took our love further, your mom told me the truth and gave me a chance to go."
"Why didn't you?"
"Why would I?" Emma asked, understanding her daughter's confusion, but not exactly liking it. "I loved her for her, not for who she used to be, not for who she was forced to be. She wasn't that woman anymore, Eva, and she isn't now. I forgave her, grandma and grandpa forgave her, and she forgave herself."
Eva sighed a bit. "But you didn't have your mommy and daddy because of her. You were hurt by other people because of…"
"Because of them." Emma interrupted. "Mommy didn't make those people hurt me, just like mommy didn't make my father put me in the wardrobe. Everyone makes their own choices, as you well know, and sometimes those choices affect others, but that can't always be helped." Emma looked at Regina and then back at Eva. "I know with out a doubt that if your mom knew how I was to be treated, she would have done everything she could have to prevent that from happening. If my parents would have known the kind of monsters that were to take care of me, they would have never sent me here. However, I also know that had none of that happened, Eva, had I not been sent here, had I not had the life I had, we all wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have been in jail and sent to Storybrooke to work for mommy and I wouldn't have met her and fallen in love, and I never would have had you or your brothers and sister. So, that being said, I wouldn't change a thing. I would live my life all over again if it meant I'd end up with Regina and you kids."
Zelena, who had been listening, came over and sat on a chair. "Girls, the world isn't black and white. It's no made up of good and evil. There are so many colors in between and so many good people who do bad things. I was one of them, your grandmother Cora was one of the, heck, even your mothers' parents were like that, just not to the same extreme. It doesn't make us bad people or people who don't deserve another chance, so long as we really do understand what we did wrong and won't do it again. Some people, like Fiona, don't understand that what they did was wrong and because of that, will keep doing bad things. Please don't let what you've learned today change how you feel about your mother, because girls, she loves you with all that she is."
Regina wiped her eyes and looked at her girls. "She's right. I'd do anything for all my children."
Malory came over and hugged Regina tightly while Eva came over more slowly. She hugged Regina and looked at her, something obviously churning through her mind. "Mommy? Will I do bad things too?"
"Why would you think that, honey?" Regina asked, stroking her cheek.
"Because when I get mad, I say things I don't mean and do things I don't really want to do. I get so angry inside and I just do whatever first comes to my mind. Like when I yelled at Mama and told her she was a bad mom. I didn't mean that, and it hurt her really bad, but I wanted her to hurt like I hurt."
Zelena couldn't stop her chuckle. "Honey, that's a Mill's trait."
Regina gave her sister a look and then looked back at Eva. "Honey, that doesn't make you a bad person. That makes you not only a Mills, but a child. You are ten years young and are still learning your place in this world. Mama and I are here to help you, to guide you and make sure you become the best Eva you can be. Baby, no one is perfect. I'm sure even Ry has thought things like that at times."
Ry gave a small nod. "Mostly when I'm mad at you, Eva." She said with a smirk, making Emma let out a small laugh.
Regina gave Ry a wink and continued. "Eva, just keep talking to us. Keep telling us when things upset you and when things make you happy. Just keep being open, okay? Don't hold things in and please, my baby girl, please never think you're a bad person."
After everyone said goodnight, Ry decided to sleep in the room with Tori so she wouldn't be alone. Eva cuddled in with Regina and Emma and pretended to sleep as her mothers fell asleep. Once they were asleep, Eva opened her eyes, not wanting to actually sleep. She felt safe with her mothers, but now all this new information went through her mind. Was she evil? Would she one day bring terror to others like her mother apparently had and her Grandmother? There was no way either of her brothers, or Malory would, so maybe she was the one who carried that tradition. She looked at Regina who had a small smile on her sleeping face and tried to imagine her being evil. She couldn't picture it, but she'd heard the voice before, and the stories and knew some of it had to be true. She then looked at Emma and wondered how she could have fallen in love with Regina or stayed with her after she knew the truth. Then Eva smiled, a warm happy smile. It was because her Mama was good. She was so good and kind and could even change someone who was known as evil. Maybe, just maybe, she had enough of the good in her to keep the bad away. She looked back at Regina and smiled again, cuddling closer to her. It didn't matter in the end. It didn't matter because both her moms were good, and they'd make sure she didn't end up being anything less than her best.
