Once the tea was brewed, and she had added a bit of the root, Beatrice went to her mother's bed and sat down at the edge of the straw mat.
"Mother, I have brought you something from Amity. It's a root they use during their ceremonies. It's relaxing and might make you feel better."
Natalie sat up and took the fictile cup that her daughter offered her.
"Epaticamey root?" she asked. "But that's very rare."
"Ah... I don't know what it's called, after all. I just drank it once, and we helped our Amity guide collecting more of it on our way back from the fairies."
"I've drunk it before, but that was many, many years ago. I'm not surprised you found it close to where the fairies live. The Amity keep it a secret, or they used to, but it's the only place that I know of where you can find it."
She sat up further and took a sip. She closed her eyes as she savored the earthy taste.
"Mother, how do you know all that?" Beatrice asked, deciding to ignore her usual restraint towards her parents when it came to personal questions.
"I once was young, too, Beatrice, and I've travelled a lot in all the provinces. Now, tell me, when are you and Christina going to leave?"
"We want to exercise a bit first to improve our physical strength and other skills that might come in useful. After that, we'll have to go. But don't worry, I won't leave without saying goodbye first."
"Maybe I'll be out of bed by the time you finish your training. With the help of this special drink."
She rose the cup to her lips again to take another sip. Beatrice understood that she was supposed to leave her for the time being, so she went outside where Christina was already warming up by jumping on and off a tree stub.
They took turns inventing new exercises, and when they were finally out of breath, they took a break before they continued with the exercises Beatrice had learned from Marlene. Christina was a fast learner. Beatrice noticed that her coordination was much better than her own. She didn't mind, though, because that made her a good training partner. In addition to that, her honesty helped Beatrice correct the flaws in her posture right away before memorizing any motion sequence incorrectly once they got to practice the basic fighting techniques.
Neither of them knew how much time had passed when they actually decided they had had enough for now. They would still have to hike quite a bit in the afternoon. They stayed outside until their bodies had cooled down before they started to prepare a simple lunch in the kitchen. They had been given some food for the week, but it wasn't enough for the whole time. Still, Beatrice exchanged some of her fruit and vegetables for the plain snow potatoes her family used to survive on most of the time.
Natalie joined them at the table once the stew was cooking above the fire. She looked less tired and her cheeks had a soft rosy glow that Beatrice hadn't seen there in a long time. Not since they had run out of the elixir from Erudite.
"How are you, mother? You look much better."
"I do feel better, thank you. Epaticamey root is known to boost your energy level, but gently. So I'm warmer and lighthearted now, which makes for such a comfortable distraction from the usual."
"That's great," Beatrice beamed, truly happy that she had done the right thing. "I have enough to last you for a few weeks. You only need just a pinch of it."
"That's even better news. But you two should take some with you, too. It's cold outside, and when you have to spend the nights outside, it will keep you warm and safe."
"But I brought it for you!" Beatrice protested. She didn't want to take any of it if it meant there was less for Natalie.
"But your mother is right," Christina interrupted. "We do have fabric to build a makeshift tent to spend the night in, but we could really use this little booster against the cold."
Beatrice wasn't convinced. Of course, Christina wanted some root for herself, and on a rational level, she understood her reasoning. But it still felt wrong. Natalie, on the other hand, knew her daughter well enough to know what she had to say to convince her.
"Please take something. That way, I will be less worried. I can't sleep when I'm worried, and if I can't sleep, I'll only get weaker, despite the root."
Beatrice sighed. "Fine," she gave in. "But mother, I can see straight through this strategy."
"I know you can," she nodded, smiling softly.
Beatrice cut of a few thin slices from the root, so paper thin you could almost see through it when you held it up against the light. She and Christina gathered the few things they'd taken out of their bags for the night and gathered some straw into two extra bags. They would need it to sleep on.
Beatrice was relieved to see her mother eat with more appetite than the evening before once the stew was ready. After lunch, they cleaned the dishes together, and when it was time to say goodbye, Natalie asked for a moment alone with her daughter.
"Sure, Natalie. I'll wait outside. Thank you for letting me stay with you," Christina said.
After the door had closed behind her, Natalie turned to her daughter and took both her hands in hers.
"Beatrice," she began. "It is true that I'm worried about you. I didn't just say it to convince you to take some Epaticamey root with you, although, yes, partially I did. But I also want to tell you that I'm proud of you. You follow your own way, and that's what every girl has to do eventually. Just let me give you some advice that will help you through every challenge you'll face: First of all, always be yourself. Never forget who you are and where you come from, but don't be afraid to learn more about yourself while you're out there. Second, trust yourself. That's easier said than done, believe me. And third, respect yourself. Don't let others decide what you're worth."
Beatrice swallowed, touched by her mothers honest words and the solemnity they radiated. Natalie usually didn't talk that much, and certainly she had never said things like this to her. Yet her trust was the most reassuring gift she had ever given her, and she would carry it with her inside her heart wherever she'd go.
"I appreciate your support, mum. I do, deeply."
Natalie leaned forward and touched her forehead to her daughter's in a rare gesture of physical affection.
"Stay safe, Beatrice," she said when they couldn't avoid the farewell any longer.
"I can't tell you what we have to do here, but I can show you," Beatrice smiled and fumbled in her coat pocket for the piece of parchment that had been inside the sphere. When she found it, she read it one last time and then handed it over to her mother. "Just so you know it's not dangerous. We'll be back soon, I promise."
"Thank you," Natalie said as her eyes skimmed over the words. She sat down on the kitchen bench and watched her daughter go. Then she remembered something.
"Beatrice." She waited until she had turned around again. "One last thing: The knife I gave you when you first left... it will help you in more than one way."
Beatrice took in the words, nodded and then finally left the cabin, leaving Natalie to read the task she'd have to complete again and again: "Get a stone from the wall at the edge of the Dark Forest and take it back to the castle."
The girls had been walking for a few hours, mostly in quiet, before they decided that it was time to build a place for the night. They put down their bags and Beatrice took the helm because she had spent more time outdoors than Christina had. She had chosen a small clearing in the forest as their resting place, where they could make a fire to keep them warm.
Once she had found a branch sticking out from a tree that had the right height and seemed stable enough, they covered it with the fabric. Then she instructed Christina to look for stones or heavier branches lying on the ground that they could use to weight down the fabric on both sides of the branch to form a tent they could sleep under. They were lucky there was little snow in this part of the province, so it was easy enough to swipe away the thin layer of flakes with the wet leaves underneath. Then they prepared their mattresses with the straw. Since they didn't have any additional blankets, their coats would have to be enough to slip under.
When the makeshift tent was ready, Beatrice showed Christina which kind of twigs and branches would make good firewood. She explained how they needed bigger logs with a certain girth, so they'd at least be dry inside, but also thinner pieces and dry leaves, if possible, to get the fire started. They had to hurry to collect enough before it turned too dark. Beatrice took out the knife her mother had given her and used it to peel away the damp bark from the thicker branches, then constructed a pyramid with them and stuffed the thinner pieces underneath after trying to dry them at least a bit with the fabric of their tent. Caleb had given her a box with three matches, so she couldn't afford to waste even a single one of them. Seeing no other option, she pulled some straw out of her simple mattress. It would have to work as tinder.
Christina paid close attention as she lighted the match and held it to the straw. They watched it catch fire quickly, and then Beatrice used a big piece of bark to fan the flames. They were lucky it worked, and soon they were sitting in front of the fire, warming their limbs and roasting potatoes in the embers they'd pulled a little to the side with a stick. It had taken time to collect enough clean snow to melt in the copper pot they had borrowed from Beatrice's parents to have some drinking water.
Finally, after their simple dinner and filling their water bottles for the next day, it was time to heat more water to brew a tea from the Epaticamey root. They were both looking forward to it, knowing the warming and relaxing effect it had.
Once they had settled down for the night with their cups in hand, Beatrice felt the tension being lifted off her shoulders with every sip she took. The remainder of the fire was still glowing a few feet away. Warmth spread inside her, not unlike when the prince had pressed his lips on the back of her hand.
"What are you smiling about?" Christina asked curiously.
"Just a memory."
"Care to be a little more specific? Come on, it's just the two of us."
"You could guess."
"Alright. So, judging from your far away smile and the soft blush on your cheeks, I'd say you're thinking about a boy."
Beatrice almost choked on her drink.
"Yes, and judging from that reaction, I guess that was the right assumption," Christina added proudly.
"I swear you're scary sometimes."
"I can live with that. But please, care to tell me a little more? Is it the prince? - Oh yes, it is the prince. I knew it."
"Just because you watched us dance?"
"More from watching him smile at you and you smiling back at him, but yes. So, spill the beans, what did you two laugh about?"
"He asked me what I was thinking about while dancing, and I said it was mostly 'one, two, three - four, five, six'. He must have found that funny."
Christina chuckled. "It is funny."
"I'm just not a good dancer, I have to rely on counting," Beatrice replied, but it wasn't defensive. She was way too relaxed by now to be defensive - and also to keep in what she desperately needed to share. "I met him on the balcony later that night. It was a coincidence. Neither of us could sleep. We talked, and he showed me the castle grounds from above, and he kissed my hand before I left."
"Wait, what?" Christina sat up and looked at her. "And you're telling me that now? This casually? That's huge!"
Instead of answering, Beatrice indicated the battered cup between her palms. Since her friend seemed to have lost her ability to speak for a moment, she used the opportunity to change the topic and direct one of her questions right back at her.
"So, now that I've told you, what did you think about while dancing with him, if it wasn't 'one, two, three - four, five, six'?"
"Oh, you'd never guess... It caught me by surprise myself. Will."
"You will do what?"
"No, you misunderstood me. I was thinking of Will. Short for William. He courted me back home in Candor. We often went for walks together, or sat down to have long conversations that sometimes turned into the rather nonverbal kind, if you know what I mean."
Beatrice stared into her cup to avoid looking into Christina's eyes as she tried not to imagine what that meant in detail. But apparently, Christina waited for an answer, so she eventually murmured something like, "I guess I do."
"Anyway, I realized last weekend how much I miss him both when I danced with the prince and wished it was with Will instead and when I watched you dance together without any jolt of jealousy. I thought you looked cute, the way you both stumbled over the dance floor, and that was the last bit of evidence I needed to realize that I'm still in love with Will."
"Then why did you join the competition in the first place?"
"Will wanted to take the next step soon. He had begun to talk about marriage and starting a family, and I was scared he'd propose to me. I would have had to say no, and it would have hurt both me and him so much. Then I heard about the competition and used it as an excuse to leave Candor and him behind. I avoided him, I never really told him what was going on. That was horrible of me. I mean, I was raised to honor the truth, but the one time it would have cost me a lot to tell it, I bolted. I left my entire province and espoused this idea that I could find thrill and adventure in this competition."
"I don't understand," Beatrice muttered, trying to make sense of Christina's story. "If you love Will, why did you run away? Why were you scared of getting engaged to him?"
"Because we're both still so young. I mean, Will is a couple of years older than me, but still young, too. I haven't even seen anything of this kingdom yet besides my own province and the castle, and now Amity and Abnegation, and there's so much yet to explore. I was seeking adventure, not normality. And I don't want to have children, not yet anyway, not in this world. Not when every day is a struggle for food and other necessities."
"And he wanted to have children right away?"
"Actually," Christina bit her lip, "I don't know. It was a topic we kind of avoided. But when he started mentioning marriage more than just once, I got scared. But now, being away from him and from home, I can't understand myself anymore. I should have talked to him. Maybe he would have wanted to travel the kingdom with me, too. I never really gave him a chance."
"But you can always go back and explain yourself and make up with him. Maybe he's still in love with you, too."
"And how exactly am I going to get out of the competition? You heard the queen. We can't step back from the tasks."
"No, but you can fail."
"Not on purpose."
"Yes, not on purpose. I bet those belts would notice somehow. Those are weird anyway."
"They are. I guess I have to continue until I fail. Also, I want to keep you company. You and the prince, you seem to like each other. So I'll do my part to help you for as long as I'm in this competition, without intentionally failing."
"That's very generous of you. Thank you."
"You're welcome. I consider you a friend, you know?"
"You are my friend, too."
