15. Do Not Scrutinize
If Jade West's life was a piece of cloth, the first stitch tore when Tori Vega came to Hollywood Arts and kissed Jade's boyfriend, the second when Jade was first cast as Tori's understudy. Three more were torn after that, one for each consecutive night Beck blew her off to help Tori become a 'risk-taker.' Five more were abruptly cut when Beck declared he wasn't happy with their relationship in front of a television audience (a Northridge audience to boot). The next ten were ripped out one by one each second Beck let her stand outside the Vega's door. Another five tore when he didn't come after her.
The final stitch and the knot that was holding all the sewing together finally broke and everything began to unravel when Jade's mother stepped forward in the courtroom.
"I did it. I attacked Richard," Linda choked out through her tears. "But I wasn't trying to kill him, I swear! I just…"
She broke down, crouching to the floor and sobbing into her hands. Jade found that she couldn't move, still standing and waiting for the jury's verdict. She suddenly felt very cold, and the shaking came back at full force. She stayed standing, staring wide-eyed at her mother while the judge pounded the gavel, calling for order. Detective Gordon was helping Linda to her feet, but Jade couldn't hear a word he said over the ringing that was suddenly overwhelming her ears. She thought she heard someone calling her name, but she couldn't be sure. It wasn't until Linda was taken out of the courtroom by Finley, Adam rushing after them with his briefcase, that everyone quieted enough for Judge Banter to speak.
"I am declaring a mistrial," the judge said. "Court is adjourned."
She pounded the gavel once more, then escaped the chaos through the door behind the bench. Jade still hadn't moved as the tumultuous crowd scrambled out of the courtroom, following the police officer and the new defendant. Silence settled over the courtroom, and Jade continued to stare at the floor. A warm hand slid onto her bare shoulder and began guiding her down the aisle.
"M-my jacket," Jade mumbled, trying to turn around. "I left my jacket…."
"I've got it," Beck said quietly, giving it to her. She clutched it in her hands like a security blanket as they reached the rest of the group just inside the courtroom door. Cat and Tori were both in tears, while Andre and Robbie just looked ashamed. Jade didn't have anything to say. With the pressure of his hand, Beck ushered her out of the courtroom and down the hall, which seemed to be longer than it had been when they walked into court that morning. She could feel the eyes of court-goers staring at her, or thought she could.
Tori couldn't seem to take the awkward silence, her fidgeting increasing the longer it went on.
"I-it'll be okay," Tori tried to comfort awkwardly. This seemed to bring Jade back from the depths of her mind. She tossed Beck's hand off of her shoulder and turned to face Tori, stopping the group in their tracks.
"Don't speak to me. I told you, I don't need your pity."
"But you need your friends," Tori said gently.
"You are not my friend!" Jade snapped. "I meant what I told the police!"
Jade stalked away from the group, putting her jacket on and angrily flipping her hair out of its collar. When she was outside, however, she stopped, realizing that she had no way of getting home — her mother had the car keys. The courthouse door swung open behind her. A part of Jade perked up, thinking it was someone to tell her it had all been a mistake and Tori Vega was the only one going to prison (for being so annoying). Instead, a woman in a pantsuit clicked down the front stairs in black heels. Jade sighed, shoving her freezing hands in her pockets in an attempt to warm them up. How can someone be this cold in southern California? The door opened again, and Jade didn't turn around.
"Jadey?" A little voice that definitely wasn't a lawyer asked while tapping her shoulder. "Do you want to sleep over tonight?"
"No," Jade responded without looking.
"Oh. Will you anyway?"
"…yeah."
"Okay. Beck, she said she'd do it!" Cat called. "Come on, Jadey."
Cat linked her arm through Jade's and they walked down the courthouse steps. Jade could feel Beck following close behind. She always could sense his presence.
"We came in two cars," Cat explained. "So Beck and I are going to drive you back to my place and we can have a sleepover."
Jade nodded distractedly. They were passing her mom's car in the parking lot. Cat dragged Jade along a little faster, tightening the grip on her arm until they reached Beck's truck. Jade sat in the front and clicked her seatbelt into place while Cat clambered into the back.
"We can listen to what you like, Jadey," Cat said as Beck ignited the engine. It was the biggest sacrifice she could think of for the time being.
"I don't care," Jade responded quietly. "Listen to whatever you want."
Beck and Cat looked at Jade, who didn't even notice their stares of shock. Beck put his hand on her arm.
"Do you want to go straight to Cat's house?" he asked. She didn't, but she didn't want to go home either. So Jade nodded.
"Wait," she said suddenly just before Beck pulled out of the parking lot.
"Yeah?"
"Cat," Jade said, her forehead tense. "Cat, is your brother home?"
"Yep!" Cat said cheerfully.
"No," Jade said, closing her eyes. "No. I can't. I can't do this. Not today. I can't deal with your brother."
"Oh," Cat seemed disappointed.
"Do you want me to take you home?" Beck asked.
"No…."
"Where do you want to go?"
"Can't you just leave me on the street somewhere?" Jade pleaded, only half kidding.
"…I'm not going to do that."
"Then just take me home."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay…" Beck sighed and put the car back in gear. Jade closed her mouth and didn't open it again until Beck parked the car in her driveway.
"Bye," she said quietly as she closed the car door. Beck didn't pull away until she had unlocked the door and was safely in her house.
Inside, it all felt normal, and somehow that felt wrong. How could the house not have changed? Everything else had. Jade was suddenly very, very alone, more alone than she had ever been before. She could not even name the emptiness inside her; it was even worse than coming home after Beck dumped her. At least then her mother was there to hug her while she cried. There was no one left to comfort her now. Jade hadn't been convicted, sure, but this was her punishment.
A slap on the wrist
Feels like soap to my eyes
