Unsurprisingly, it was another week before the Collins party was invited to Rosings again. During that time, they saw little of Lady Catherine or her daughter. Elizabeth rightly assumed it was because she found her nephews company more agreeable than the occupants of the parsonage. Of course, they were more of her rank and family so they would naturally be considered better company; but it was also possible that they had the added benefit of being more complaisant.
Mary's first few months in Hunsford had involved a long‑running contest of wills between her and Lady Catherine, with the lady of the manor interested in instructing everyone within five miles how they should live their lives. Mary had made a good impression by listening to the advice that was good; and a not so good impression by ignoring that which was not; or worse yet, telling the lady why it was not.
Mary finally won the lady over to her way of thinking one day when she encountered a truly perplexing problem, difficult enough that she was tempted to write to Elizabeth, whom everyone agreed was the cleverest of the Bennets. Instead, she asked for a private meeting with Lady Catherine, laid out the entire issue, and was a bit surprised to get a very clever answer that would never in a thousand years have occurred to her.
Kitty and Lydia's visit in early March had given the lady a chance to interrogate them endlessly on their upbringing and chastise them mercilessly on any breaks in decorum. The lady had been surprised when Lydia asked her point blank to explain why she should act a particular way on an occasion early in their acquaintance. Feeling a bit put out that the young lady would not just take a superior at her word, she thought about it for a while and then proceeded to explain in grueling detail. When Lydia listened carefully, came to agreement, thanked her very kindly for her advice, and said she would do her best to comply; an alliance of sorts had been forged. So long as Lady Catherine was willing to explain and defend her position, both young ladies looked to her for guidance.
By the time Elizabeth arrived, everyone was on good terms, but Lady Catherine still found their company both exhilarating and occasionally exhausting. A week with her nephews whom she had known since birth, and who rarely disagreed with her, must have been very restful.
During the intervening week, Colonel Fitzwilliam visited the parsonage a few times, but Elizabeth thought he was likely just bored. He had the choice of two pretty and witty young women, one unmarried, in the parsonage; and his ancient and cantankerous aunt and two cousins, one timid as a church mouse and the other stoic and brooding at Rosings, so Elizabeth judged it was not that much of a contest.
After church on Easter, which consisted of a sermon William and Mary had worked out between them, while completely ignoring a good deal of well‑meaning advice from Lady Catherine, they received a request to take the half‑mile journey that evening.
The invitation was accepted of course, and at a proper hour they joined the party in Lady Catherine's drawing-room. Her ladyship received them civilly, but it was plain that their company was by no means so acceptable as when she could get nobody else; and she was, in fact, almost engrossed by her nephews, speaking to them, especially to Darcy, much more than to any other person in the room.
Colonel Fitzwilliam seemed really glad to see them; anything was a welcome relief to him at Rosings; and Mrs. Collins's pretty sister had moreover caught his fancy very much. He now seated himself by her, and talked so agreeably of Kent and Hertfordshire, of travelling and staying at home, of new books and music, that Elizabeth had never been half so well entertained in that room before.
Elizabeth found the discussion interesting and entertaining, which she mostly attributed to her low expectations. During all previous interactions with the Colonel, she found him to be mostly indistinguishable from the other man whose name was never mentioned, so she expected, and received, nothing more. She thought of an analogy that she should just keep to herself. Talking to the Colonel was much akin to playing with a puppy. The play itself was entertaining, so long as you remembered it was a puppy and did not expect too much.
Mr. Darcy watched their discussion with apparent curiosity, but unsurprisingly, he made no effort to join or contribute to it. Lady Catherine demanded to know what they were talking about, and with a great heaving sigh of annoyance, the Colonel chose one of their previous topics at random.
"Music. We were talking of music", replied the Colonel at length.
"Of music! Then pray speak aloud. It is of all subjects my delight. I must have my share in the conversation if you are speaking of music. There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more true enjoyment of music than myself, or a better natural taste. If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient. And so would Anne, if her health had allowed her to apply."
The lady carried on for some further time in that vein, and Elizabeth quit listening while she watched Mr. Darcy out of curiosity. She reckoned that Mr. Darcy did not resemble a puppy in any way. The gentleman had a short conversation with his aunt about the ever‑accomplished Miss Darcy, which consisted mostly of Lady Catherine spitting out instruction after instruction, while Mr. Darcy replied as if each word had to be laboriously carved out of stone.
Lady Catherine invited Elizabeth to practice in Mrs. Jenkinson's room, where she would be 'in nobody's way', and Elizabeth watched Mr. Darcy choke back a response at the rudeness of the suggestion. She choked back a giggle at the original suggestion and his aborted response, so an outside observer would not have detected either party showing very much reaction. She was not really offended, because if she was to practice, which was as likely as a snowstorm in April, she would much prefer to do so in the suggested location, which would be guaranteed to be free of both Lady Catherine and the gentlemen. She could, however, see that Mr. Darcy was quite put out, but not enough to challenge his aunt directly.
Elizabeth barely dragged her attention back to the discussion when Lady Catherine started a somewhat familiar refrain.
"Miss Bennet would not play at all amiss if she practised more, and could have the advantage of a London master. She has a very good notion of fingering, though her taste is not equal to Anne's. Anne would have been a delightful performer, had her health allowed her to learn."
Elizabeth looked at Darcy to see how cordially he assented to his cousin's praise; but neither at that moment nor at any other could she discern any symptom of love; and from the whole of his behaviour to Miss de Bourgh she derived this comfort for Miss Bingley, that he might have been just as likely to marry her, had she been his relation.
Deciding it was finally her turn to brace the dragon in her lair, Elizabeth put her sweetest smile on her face she was capable of, and said, "Excuse me, Lady Catherine, do you mind if I ask a personal question?"
Everyone in the room looked at her, as nobody ever deliberately pushed Lady Catherine in a direction that could consume hours, wondering what she was about.
"Most certainly, Miss Bennet. My character has ever been celebrated for its sincerity and frankness."
Elizabeth smiled, and said, "Yes, I noticed that about you right away. Would you mind telling me about your childhood illness? You seem to have recovered quite well. Was it very terrible? It is a subject of some fascination to me, and I am hoping Miss de Bourgh will tell me of hers as well, if you do not find the question impertinent or intrusive."
Stunned silence greeted the question, but Elizabeth kept her rapt and curious expression aimed at Lady Catherine.
The great lady fumed for a moment more, and finally said, "What an odd question! What possessed you to think I was ill as a child. I have the Fitzwilliam constitution. I have never been ill a day in my life, but perhaps Anne will condescend to satisfy your thirst for information."
Quite to everyone's surprise, Anne quite calmly replied, "I shall be happy to talk with you as much as you like Miss Bennet."
Elizabeth smiled hugely at her, nodded in acknowledgement, and asked, "I am at your disposal, Miss de Bourgh. Perhaps we could ride out in your phaeton sometime?
"Yes, of course. Perhaps tomorrow."
Elizabeth noted a gleam of anticipation in the young heiress's eyes and thought it might well turn out to be a fascinating day. She thought that would be an interesting discussion, and she could hardly wait to get started. Before that though, she turned her attention back on Lady Catherine.
"My pardon about the impertinent question, Lady Catherine. I am afraid my native curiosity has been my downfall again. It is a wretched nuisance sometimes. You see, I have been reading extensively about logic and philosophy this year. I have been absorbing everything from Aristotle to Francis Bacon, and was trying out the methods. I came to the obviously incorrect conclusion about your potential illness using deductive reasoning, which is useful but occasionally in error if you make mistakes in evaluation of the initial evidence. I seem to have run afoul there, so I hope I have not offended you."
She did not particularly care if she had offended the great lady, but it was always best to be polite if it could be managed.
Lady Catherine gasped, and said very stridently, "Logic… Philosophy… Those are not appropriate subjects for a gently bred young lady."
Elizabeth calmly said, "I am surprised you said that, Lady Catherine… perhaps I will need to redouble my efforts, as I am still failing in my logical pursuits. Why, based on logic alone, I would have expected you to be the very last woman in the world to place such a stricture. I suspect it would be best to leave the topic."
"Not so hasty, if you please. I have by no means done", asserted the lady, adding, "You have now presented two topics of some confusion, and I will not be satisfied until they are answered. What could you possibly mean?"
Much to Elizabeth's surprise, Mr. Darcy chuckled, smiled, and answered, "Aunt, Miss Bennet may well be the cleverest woman I have ever known, but this particular bit of discourse is not quite so confusing. She has presented two, shall we call them 'puzzles'. I can easily understand the first, but the second is a bit of a mystery."
Elizabeth stared at the man in some confusion. The grin on his face was unusual, the chuckle was unprecedented, and his defense of her argument was alarming. Besides that, she had to sheepishly admit to herself (but not a single other soul in the whole wide world), that he was exceedingly handsome when he did not look quite so foreboding.
Lady Catherine dragged her attention back to the group, asking, "Well, Miss Elizabeth. It looks like my nephew has laid down the gauntlet. Perhaps you could you explain your second mystery, without introducing any more since we do not have all night."
Elizabeth tore her scattered attention from the ever-confusing Mr. Darcy to Lady Catherine and stared at the matron in confusion.
Lady Catherine leaned forward and said, "Miss Bennet, thirty‑three years ago I was your age, and about double your impertinence. I do not scare easily."
For the first time in quite a number of years, everyone in Lady Catherine de Bourgh's drawing room laughed uproariously, if somewhat confusedly, and Elizabeth wondered what was happening.
Lady Catherine looked at her carefully, and said, "Well, Miss Bennet. We await enlightenment, wonder and astonishment at your astute observations."
"Well, to fully answer the question about why I am surprised you would advocate against women perusing such subjects, I shall need to use a few numbers and an anecdote or two. I hope you will not mind."
"I am not afraid of you," said Lady Catherine, smilingly.
"Well, I should hope not!", she replied with her own smile, then continued.
"You see, I was chatting with your steward about a week ago - lovely man, and his wife makes scones I would willingly kill or die for, but I digress. We talked about the fields in the Northwest corner of the home farm, about a mile from the parsonage. I was interested in them because they had a type of flower I did not know, but my native curiosity got too much to bear. They are also adjacent to the glebe, which William has been considering cultivating or renting out, so the yields should be similar."
She looked around and noticed everyone was paying rapt attention.
William could not resist adding, "At your direction, Dear Sister."
Everyone shifted their attention to him for a moment, so he added, "Elizabeth suggested it, and even worked out the finances for me. We have started making plans already."
Surprisingly, Mr. Darcy said, "Well done, Sir! If I may assist your endeavor in any way, please ask."
"My thanks, Mr. Darcy. I will accept your generous offer should the need arise… but I believe in interrupted my sister. Elizabeth…"
Elizabeth smiled at her brother, liking him more and more as time went on before continuing.
"Lady Catherine, your steward told me that the yields on that field increased by over 25% in the past twenty years. For example, the yields on wheat have increased from around 13 bushels/acre to nearly 17. The rye part of the cycle has increased from around 14 to 17. All in all, quite an impressive improvement, I should say."
Lady Catherine replied, "Yes, they have. I attribute it mostly to using the Norfolk four‑course system of crop rotation. Are you familiar with it?"
Elizabeth blushed and said, "I am. I tried to get my father to adopt it without success. William, Mary and I are trying to work out a way to sneak it in under his nose… to all our mutual benefit. I discussed it at some length with Mr. Mallon."
"And this applies to your current 'mystery' how, exactly?"
Elizabeth said, "Well, Lady Catherine… unless your family bible is not to be trusted, your husband has been gone for around twenty years. When the change to the four-course system was implemented, your two trustworthy nephews were around eight years old. Unless your brother the Earl was much more active than it would appear in managing Rosings, Occam's razor suggests it was you who implemented the change. Am I correct?"
Lady Catherine sat quite still for a moment, until Elizabeth began to feel she had disrupted her fragile alliance with the lady, and then she suddenly chuckled, and let it raise to a bit of a laugh.
The lady finally said, "You have caught me out, Miss Bennet. I now understand your mystery. You found no evidence anybody but me implemented the change, so you are asserting that I myself engage in such unladylike pursuits as study of crop rotation and the like. Purely deductive reasoning, just as you say."
Elizabeth left her seat to walk closer, sat on an empty stool near Lady Catherine, and said, "Lady Catherine, your nephews come here for a fortnight a year, or perhaps three weeks. That leaves you as mistress for 49-50 weeks per annum, or 94‑96% of the time. People in the village are reasonably happy and prosperous, whilst being quite dependent on Rosings for their living. The estate is hardly falling down around your ears, so am I wrong in asserting that you are a good master for the estate - either despite, or more likely because of your sex?"
The lady just chuckled, and said, "Well, well… I have been waiting for someone to best me at a battle of wits for some time. I graciously concede, Miss Bennet."
Elizabeth smiled, and said, "Your defeat does not seem so awfully terrible, Lady Catherine."
They looked at each other for half a minute, and then Lady Catherine looked over at Darcy. He was looking at the pair of them as if he had never seen anything quite like it in his life, which was probably a fair assessment. He was watching the conversation carefully with a look of appreciation on his face.
Lady Catherine said, "Well, Darcy… perhaps you might explain the first mystery, since you seem so inclined to demonstrate your cleverness."
Surprising both Elizabeth and Lady Catherine, Darcy said, "Well, you may not come off so well in that one, Aunt. Should we leave well enough alone?"
"Not on your life."
Darcy said, "Well, before I do that, I fear I must dispute with Miss Bennet on the description of her methodology."
Elizabeth looked at him in curiosity and found she could not quite read the expression on his face. In an ordinary man it might look a lot like a mischievous smirk, but in that gentleman, it had both a softer and harder feel, as if he had shut his emotions away in a drawer for several years, and they did not quite fit any more. Considering he became master of an estate larger than Rosings at about her age, she reckoned that might actually be the case.
Elizabeth laughed, and said, "In the famous words of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, I am not afraid of you, Mr. Darcy," with her own rough equivalent of a mischievous smile.
Darcy actually smiled, which surprised Elizabeth so much she returned one of her own, and then reflected that it might be the first unforced smile she had ever given the gentleman.
He continued, "Well, Miss Elizabeth. You asserted that you used deductive reasoning to arrive at your conclusion, whilst I will maintain it was abductive reasoning."
Elizabeth laughed, and said, "Present your case, Sir!"
He continued, "Deductive reasoning relies on a general statement or hypothesis—sometimes called a premise or standard—held to be true. The premise is used to reach a specific, logical conclusion, based on known associations. You work from known facts to the specific case in point. Humans are only born to mothers therefore all humans have a mother. Or all female mammals produce milk, humans are mammals, so all human females produce milk."
Elizabeth nodded, and said, "Yes, that seems a good definition."
Darcy continued, "Inductive reasoning starts from known things and tries to generalize. All the gentleman a lady knows have been disagreeable in the past. The lady is going to meet a gentleman. She is due a disagreeable time."
Elizabeth laughed at that, and said, "Did you get that example from a textbook, Mr. Darcy?"
She had to sheepishly admit to herself that this particular flavor of Mr. Darcy was quite agreeable.
He grinned, and said, "No, but it seemed appropriate. Now we come to your case. Abductive reasoning fills in missing pieces that would be necessary to make use deductive reasoning with the most likely scenario, ideally based on a rational study of probabilities. You arrive home to find your favorite shoes torn to shreds. You have a new puppy in your room. You might reason that the puppy tore up the shoes, not being aware that your youngest sister has a propensity to the same act, though it is less likely."
Elizabeth laughed quite uproariously about that one, and said, "Well, Mr. Darcy. That is in fact a perfect example. I yield to your superior education. The question was in fact prompted by abductive reasoning."
Darcy stood and bowed formally, which just about sent Elizabeth off into another burst of giggles.
He stood back straight, and said, "Well, Lady Catherine, we return to the first mystery. Miss Bennet knows that a lady of your station is expected to have music as an accomplishment. You yourself asserted a genuine talent in the art. You also asserted that ill children cannot apply themselves. Miss Bennet just generalized to imagine you must have been ill as a child, since nothing else she could think of would explain your abundance of talent but dearth of application, considering how much you emphasize the need of practice for others in your sphere."
Much to everyone's surprise, Lady Catherine chuckled at the result, then laughed a bit.
She finally said, "I see you have abandoned Mr. Occam entirely, Miss Elizabeth. You forgot that the simplest explanation is usually the best."
"Which is?"
Lady Catherine chuckled, and said, "I was lazy. Your younger sisters are paragons of industry compared to my early life."
Elizabeth wondered if she should be amused or mortified, but Lady Catherine laughed again, and said, "I cannot ever remember being better entertained in this room. Ill child indeed!"
They proceeded into supper which was much livelier than it had been in the past, and at the appropriate time, the Collins party left for the parsonage.
For the second time, Elizabeth found herself being handed into a carriage by Mr. Darcy quite by surprise, and for the second time, he seemed to squeeze it just a touch more than propriety demanded.
She thought, "Perplexing, perplexing, vexing man!", and continued to ruminate on his confusing nature until sleep finally overcame her.
