I helped Esme unload the groceries as she told me about her run in with the town Minister and his fund raising committee for the church renewal fund. I tried not to give my verdict on how they would have to knock it down and start from scratch. Maybe by some small miracle they were to make it look as good as new. Besides, I wasn't really in the mood for talks on the local church.
I was too infested with my own selfish thoughts, roaming aimlessly around like a merry go round. 'Are you ok Isabella? Your mind seems somewhere else.' '
Please, call me Bella."
She nodded shyly.
When she began to pile away her groceries, I plucked up the courage to ask my invariable question. "Esme, do you…know anything about a curse on Alistair and Irina?'
Esme stopped placing the carton of milk in the refrigerator and turned to look at me, eyes sprung with shock. "No. Who told you something so foolish?'
"Helen."
She rolled her eyes and began to laugh out loud, something that actually shocked me. I picked up a netted bag of lemons.
"Now you believe old Helen, you'll believe anything." She chuckled.
"She seems to think it's true."
She laughed again, this time it seemed forced. But she had a kind smile, the kind that filled out her face. "Old Helen still thinks Nixon runs for president and Martin Luther King sings her to sleep"
"Is she insane?" "
No, just old and senile. Bless her darn socks."
"Well she thinks I'll die if I had a child of my own."
Her eyes bulged and she lunched forward, halting at my arm and hesitantly reaching out to touch it. "That's was a horrible thing to say. It just isn't true." She held my face without an ounce of reluctance. "You're going to have a whole brood of beautiful, courageous children, just like yourself.'
I pulled away and picked at an orange. I don't want children anyway. Maybe I won't. Ever."
"That's your choice. But please, Bella, you mustn't listen to that woman. She will only cause you more harm than good."
"I don't plan on seeing her again. I just need to know why she said those things, and you're right she's wrong. No one in their right mind would say such a heartless thing." "
Is that why you missed dinner tonight?"
"Yes."
"I suppose Carmen was told where you were." She sounded annoyed that she hadn't. "You must be hungry'
"A little," I confessed.
Now that I was calming down my appetite was returning.
"Sit yourself down. I'll rustle you something up in a minute. In the meantime, you can eat this.' She passed me a brownie, which I ate in seconds, trying my best not to recall the frightful look that had appeared on Esme's face and how it had turned to amusement that seemed tense and deliberate.
There was some truth to what Helen had said to me. My heart told me not to dismiss it as an old wives' tale. And Helen wasn't insane, just reckless and insensitive. I would need to be vigilant and press for more answers. I knew there was more being hidden and that there was another reason behind why I was here. It was to find clues to something someone had long buried.
Carmen didn't return home last night. I waited until the early hours of the morning at the bottom of the stairs when everyone had gone to the comfort of their own beds. I didn't want Esme to question my reason to stay awake and wait for Carmen to walk through the door. I penned a few notes in my journal, wrote a few paragraphs on the likelihood of curses, and then drew a bat with fangs. I don't know why, it just popped in my head. My scrubbing of ink had evolved into wings and a caricature face with googly eyes. I strained my ears, listening to the long case clock grate away at my nerves. When it struck 3am I slammed my book shut and quietly went back to my room.
The next morning Carmen still wasn't home, so I visited the next best place: the rundown chapel. Needless to say, it was a total shambles and worse than I could have expected. It had a collapsed roof, cracked windows, and climbing ivy that covered one side that had mostly dilapidated. The yellowing white paint had mainly chipped, eroding to a dull brown. It matched the coarse wood that was dotted red and looked like blood soaking through the wood. Inside there was nothing but peppery colored walls and mahogany seats that matched the stand central of a long morbid aisle.
There weren't any other features; just Carmen crouched at the front, facing a giant gold cross with her head bowed above clasped hands. When her murmuring slowed and eventually came to an end, she lifted her head. "I'm glad you came Bella." Her voice seemed distant, semi-involved.
How did she know it was me? I took a deep breath and summoned my courage.
"I need to talk to you Carmen."
"You must meet Reverend James Sinclair. He's been expecting you," she said, ignoring the desperation in my voice.
"He has?" I asked just to be polite.
"Yes." She turned her head and smiled. "His father baptised your mother and conducted many of the family's wedding ceremonies.
The Sinclairs have been a part of our family for generations." "
Was my mother religious?"
I was surprised Carmen thought to mention something about my mother. "Oh dear." She laughed. "No, she was rebellious and too opinionated to serve one purpose or follow a crowd of conduct."
"I think I can relate to that." I was glad to have something else in common with my mother.
"Of course. You have her free spirit. But you must also have your faith, an easel of support at hand."
"I wasn't really brought up with any beliefs to follow, so I guess I wouldn't understand its value."
She was smiling up at the ceiling. "You know your mother once climbed the top of the roof and sang happy birthday for my eighteenth birthday. She fell through, landing on a choir boy in the middle of her cousin Joe's christening." She held her finger to her lips as her eyes gleamed over with the memory. "You can still see the damage." She pointed.
We both looked up at the arch of the ceiling. The corner was carelessly covered with uneven planks of wood and painted a tone of illuminated white that didn't match the tainted rest. But I felt grateful for the mess. It proved my mother existed, and I was here to see it, see how alive she'd been and full of mischief.
"What were her dreams?"
"To become a nun."
I looked at Carmen to see if she was serious.
She laughed lightly. "It was always a joke of hers. She never understood their purpose or why they chose to give up their right to live as they were born. When Joe died from a heart disease, Rene was adamant she would become a nurse. She wished to help those in need, save others from such grief."
"But she chose marriage instead?"
"Yes, but before this she had become involved in various voluntary work and planned to continue medical school. She planned to have a career after marriage, and Charlie was very supportive of her decision. It was only when she became pregnant that they had to re-evaluate their future."
My heart sank. "So I held her back?"
"Oh no you gave her more than she anticipated. Rene realized a career was not everything she'd hoped for, and was happy to become a mother. She would still have been caring for another. Except it would be her own child."
"But then she learned of the curse?"
"Yes," she replied solemnly. She didn't even pause or try and think of a good way to say it, just yes, perfectly, unaffected. I couldn't believe she was admitting to it so easily.
"You know? It's true?" I could feel my blood pressure rise.
"Unfortunately, yes." She took a hold of my hand. Hers was freezing. "As for the truth. That cannot be sought."
"Why?" Tears threatened to well in my eyes, but I fought against them.
She looked at me despairingly. "My dear it is beyond our knowledge. We can only pray it shall not resurface onto the next."
"Is that why you brought me here?"
"Partly. Mostly it was because I needed to see you. Bring you home to us where you belong. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe Bella. Everything."
The words echoed in my head as it began to spin out of control. "Safe from what?"
"I cannot be sure. It may only be a superstition, fed so widely with fear that it begins to eat them into an early grave."
"But it sounds too unrealistic. It can't be true."
"If you keep thinking that way and your positive effect may reverse any pending need to follow the fate of your predecessors. I would have preferred it if you had not known but Helen's interference has now made that impossible."
"Esme said she was crazy."
"Esme was only trying to protect you. Besides, she knows very little. Only hearsay."
"So what now?" My voice broke.
"We forget and pray to the Lord for mercy and guidance. Steer us from evil and cast away any shadows to have fallen amongst this family."
I was on the verge of mentioning what happened in the bathroom, when a tall man entered the room, dressed completely in black and with a white collar. The Minister I figured. Though he looked too young for the role, with long flaxen hair, and a thick moustache that covered most of his top lip. The bottom was all the more prominent and pink, looking out of place amongst his square jaw and close nit eyes. His nose was bent out of shape like a boxer's.
"Morning Carmen," he greeted informally.
"Good evening Reverend. This here is Bella." Carmen held my shoulders as if I might leave if she didn't.
He offered me his hand and shook mine with a firm grasp.
"I've heard much about you, Bella. Welcome to Blacksville. I do hope you're enjoying you're stay." His voice was mechanical, like a news reporter or the voice dub for an advert promoting a chance to win a holiday cruise.
"Yes, thanks. It's very pleasant." I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Perhaps you would like to attend the raffle this weekend. There will be music and games to involve the whole community in aid of refurbishing the chapel. As you can see it is in dire need and every bit of support would be beneficial."
Sounded like a day out for the over fifties population, but I couldn't bring myself to turn him down. He suddenly seemed genuinely sincere with his invitation.
"Um...ok, sounds good."
Carmen looked more relieved than him to hear me say it, and stood until she was eye level with him. "We will all attend. Thank you Reverend, we shall be on our way." She held his hands in a way that seemed inappropriately close. "Do pray."
"You are in my prayers and my thoughts. The Lord shall guard you against all punishments." He looked to me next. "May God be with you too Bella, and do come again. The Lord accepts even those he has lost,' he added with a big smile, judging me already.
Carmen took my hand and with a complimentary nod to the Minister, then walked me down the aisle and out of the doors to the chapel. Considering he was a Reverend, I hadn't felt all that protected around him.
