Sidney drummed his fingers on the railing as he stared out at the roiling waves. So far, it had been a relatively uneventful voyage filled with smooth sailing and idle days. Tonight was the first night where a storm seemed likely. The problem was, idle days brought about a stormy mind in Sidney. Left with too much time to think and worry, he'd begun seriously stressing about Georgiana as they chased her across the sea. He had promised her father to be her guardian and he didn't make promises lightly. And yet, she had managed to escape the country, leaving him far too far behind for his liking.

Glancing about he noted the still deck. All the sailors had retired below deck to engage in their usual rowdy dinner and drinking. The Captain was sure to be looking out from the bridge, no doubt still entirely in his element, surrounded by the stormy skies and vast expanses of ocean. And Charlotte would most likely be reading to Lady Denham or being forced to practice the pianoforte in her presence, as had been the practice since they had left Bristol. Sidney tried his best to stay away from Lady Denham, his tongue sore from having to bite it every time she mentioned his brother, Mr. Tom Parker, and how she hoped he didn't manage to burn Sanditon down in her absence.

Usually, Sidney didn't mind being left to his own devices. He was an independent man; he felt no desire to share his thoughts and desires with anyone and everyone who had ears. But since opening up to Charlotte, he found it had become lonely inside his own head. A wave splashed over the railing and into his face. How fitting. A cold, wet wave to join him in his misery. He mopped his face angrily with a handkerchief. He was tired of stressing, tired of being forced into his brother's bidding, tired of failing Georgiana as a guardian and mostly tired of having a chaperone who prevented him from talking to Charlotte about the things he really wished to. Making small talk with the lady who owned his heart was constricting when he had so much else he would rather be telling her.

As he shoved the handkerchief back in his pocket and drummed the railing some more, a hand reached out to still his.

"Sidney, are you worried about Georgiana?"

His heart leaped with glee in his chest. Charlotte. He stared into her concerned eyes, his fingers twitching to run through her soft, windblown curls.

"I am concerned about Miss Lambe." It came out gruffer than he expected. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her soft blue dress and embrace the goodness she radiated.

"I'm sure Georgiana is okay, Sidney." She squeezed his hand on the railing. "From the note, it is clear that she has found true happiness. And perhaps she and Mr. Molyneux are already wed. Surely there is no scandal in such true love and happiness."

Sidney pulled his hand from under hers, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"It's not that simple. You wouldn't understand." He ground the words out as he began pacing. When he paced his way back to her the hurt look in her eyes gave him pause. Dammit, Parker, when are you going to start thinking before you speak?

"I mean, that is, of course, you wouldn't understand since I haven't given you all the context."

She gave him a small smile, waiting patiently. "Then tell me everything, Sidney."

He sighed, running his hand through his hair again as he stared out into the distance. Charlotte reached for his arm and tugged him gently. He walked beside her around the deck, his mind clunking through the words he wanted to say.

"The thing is, Charlotte, Georgiana's father charged me with keeping Georgiana safe and if it came to it, ensuring that any match made was suitable. Mr. Otis Molyneux is not quite what he had in mind. Because of that, I am afraid that we will arrive at a rather angry reception and depart with a rather heartbroken Georgiana."

He paused, shaking his head angrily at himself. "She deserves a better guardian than myself. She shouldn't have to go through all the scandal and heartbreak that is to come and she wouldn't have had to if I had done a better job."

He searched her profile as they walked, willing her to understand and forgive.

"And above that, I don't like the man I was when I was in Antigua. This, this uptight and short behavior, this is that man. And you make me want to be better. Better for Georgiana and better for you."

The words trailed off to sea and all that remained was the spray of the waves about the ship. Charlotte stopped and tenderly ran her hand over his upper arm.

"Sidney, I don't have the wisdom to resolve your worries. I am also worried about Georgiana. But I know one thing and that is the words of Heraclitus. For it is not the same river you are stepping into and you are not the same man. You are already a better man."