"Hey, Sakura!" Uzumaki-kun yelled as he rushed over to us three.
Uchiha, Sakura, and I had already arrived at the academy and were waiting for Uzumaki-kun so we could start the exam together.
Thankfully, he showed up on time.
"Uh... Hi," Sakura greeted as she forced a smile onto her face.
Uzumaki-kun whipped his application out before pointing at a line on it nervously. "Is this where I sign my name?"
"Can't you read?" Sakura asked as she pointed out the words Uzumaki-kun had to read.
"You're not good with kanji, right? It says, "Uzumaki Naruto. I recommend the one with the name above to the chunin selection exam under my name, Hatake Kakashi. Jônin, Hatake Kakashi." You have to sign your name here," I explained while pointing at the correct place to sign.
Uzumaki-kun pulled out a pen and did so against the rough dirt of the ground.
"Alright, let's go," I directed while motioning towards the door to the academy.
"Right!" Uzumaki-kun cheered as he began to bound for the door.
"Idiot! Wait for the rest of us!" Uchiha yelled at the blonde, who paused only to glare back at his rival.
I gave a small sigh as I followed after Sakura. I was rather bored as we made it to the second floor. My boredom turned to annoyance as I saw two guards not doing their guard duty.
Kotetsu-san and Izumo-san were transformed to look like fourteen-year-olds as they stood guard of the wrong room on the wrong floor.
As Lee-senpai approached the two, Kotetsu-san hit him away.
You son of a bitch?! You dare touch my senpai in that way?! I internally screeched before my sado seal told me that I needed to calm the fuck down.
"Is someone as talentless as you really planning to take the chunin exam? Why bother? Bunch of wet-behind-the-ears snotnoses!" Kotetsu-san insulted before giving a snort.
"You said it!" Izumo-san agreed.
Bitch, you did not just insult Lee-senpai! He has more talent in the cuticle of his pinky that you will ever fucking have! I thought as I began to walk over.
Sakura grabbed me and pulled me towards her as Tenten-san began to walk towards the two guards.
"Please... We're begging you... Let us in," Tenten-san pleaded before getting punched away by Kotetsu-san.
"That's just cruel...!" Someone commented.
"What did you say?" Kotetsu-san asked before giving a smirk. "You misunderstand! We're just trying to spare you... The chunin exam is incredibly difficult... And we should know. We've failed three times so far. There are people who made it, then immediately gave up being shinobi... Others who have ended up crippled... Some reduced to vegetables... We've seen it all!"
"Whoa!" Someone exclaimed.
"Aw, man," someone else commented.
"Besides that, chunin are team commanders. They lead their units. The responsibilities for failed missions and dead shinobi rest firmly on their shoulders." Kotetsu-san wasn't wrong in that aspect, but he was still being a bit dramatic. "And you little punks have the nerve to apply?" He gave another snort. "We're saving a step by weeding out the obvious losers beforehand."
"That sounds good in theory... but you'd better let me through. And drop the force-field genjutsu you've created, while you're at it," Uchiha commended as he and the rest of our team stepped forwards. He had a cocky smirk on his face as he said, "I have business on the third floor."
"What is he talking about?" Some guy asked.
"Who knows," his teammate replied with a small shrug.
Kotetsu-san released a single laugh.
"So you figured that out, eh?" Izumo-san asked while giving his own smirk.
"It was easy. Right, Sakura? You were probably the first to notice," Uchiha stated, making my sister look over at him in surprise. He looked back while giving a genuine smile. "You're the most analytical and the best in our team at understanding the art of genjutsu."
She gave a blush before looking down. She regained all of her lost self-confidence as she looked up at the two chunin. "Heh. Of course I noticed it. Obviously, we're still on the second floor."
"Of course!" Uzumaki-kun agreed, making me look at him with a raised brow.
"Did you really know, or were you just going along to not look stupid?" I asked him softly, earning an insulted look. "...Just making sure..."
"Hey, not bad. But seeing through it isn't-" Kotetsu-san dropped his hands to the ground and began to swing his foot around to kick at Uchiha. "-enough!"
Uchiha began to kick himself, only to be interrupted.
Lee-senpai stopped both of their kicks before looking up at my sister with a sparkle in his eye. "Whew..."
"Hey... That's not what we agreed! You're the one who insisted we should avoid drawing attention to ourselves," Neji scolded as he narrowed his eyes at Lee-senpai.
"...B-... But..." Lee-senpai muttered as he looked over at Sakura with a blush.
"Here we go again," Tenten-san sighed as she shook her head, her hands placed on her hips.
Lee-senpai clenched his fist before walking over to my sis.
I decided to have his moment and instead went over to the two chunin. "Hey, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but who the fuck is guarding the gate to our village? If you guys are seriously here dicking around while some weirdo could just prance into our village, I'm going to be very disappointed in you two." I crossed my arms before giving a glare at them. "Kotetsu-san... Izumo-san..."
"Eh, you caught us, huh?" Kotetsu-san asked with a snort as he rubbed the back of his head.
"We're actually proctors for the exam, and someone else is guarding the gate right now," Izumo-san whispered before giving a small wink. "Let's keep this a secret, okay?"
"So this is some ridiculous preliminary test?" I muttered.
"Actually, we're just amusing ourselves with this year's crop of candidates," Kotetsu-san replied with a smirk.
I deadpanned before deciding I had enough of their shit. "And you wonder why you're always put on guard duty..." I turned heel and walked away, ignoring the angered yelling of Kotetsu-san, who was being held back by his "best friend". (Obviously, he and Izumo-san were dating.)
"There you are Ren! Let's go!" Sakura chirped before grabbing Uzumaki-kun's and Uchiha's hand, pulling them along after her.
I gave a sigh as I shoved my hands into my pockets and followed after them.
We got to an open area that was often used as a place where classes would have sparring competitions since the area was so big. That, and the wooden floor wasn't as dirty as the grass and ground outside.
"Hey, you with the scowl... Wait up!" Lee-senpai demanded as he stood at the upper floor.
"Eep!" Sakura exclaimed, making me furrow my brow.
"What is it?" Uchiha asked.
"You and me. Here and now... Want to fight?" Lee-senpai asked.
"You want to fight me here and now...?" Uchiha repeated questioningly.
"But that's..." Sakura protested.
"Yes!" Lee-senpai exclaimed before jumping over the railing. He landed on the wooden floor below and gave Uchiha a determined glare. He pointed his thumb at himself before saying, "My name is Rock Lee." He pointed over at Uchiha. "Among sticklers, etiquette requires one to introduce oneself before asking for the name of another..."
"...Uchiha Sasuke," Duckass introduced before his brow furrowed slightly. "Huh... So you knew who I was all along."
"I'm calling you out!" Lee-senpai declared as he got into his fighting position. "I want to test the effectiveness of my techniques against the last surviving member of your legendary clan. Besides..." He looked over at Sakura with a blush before giving her a wink.
My little sis recoiled in disgust as tears came to her eyes. "No way! Those eyelashes creep me out!" She began trembling as she mumbled, "Not to mention that geeky 'do... Plus those caterpillar brows!"
"Hey, he's a really cool guy once you get to know him..." I mumbled as glanced at my twin.
"You're an angel!" Lee-senpai declared before blowing my sister a kiss.
Sakura quickly dodged the heart that flew towards her with a loud scream of terror.
I secretly caught the heart and held it tightly as I watched my sister pant from the emotional trauma she just went through.
Uzumaki-kun growled as he shook his fist in the background.
As Sakura returned to her feet, she put her fist up and shook it at my senpai. "You keep your weird kisses to yourself, creep! I could have died dodging that!"
"Aw... Don't be like that..." Lee-senpai muttered dejectedly.
I gave him the thumbs up regardless of my inner thought. Kami-sama, why?! I have the urge to protect my sister from all suitors, but at the same time Lee-senpai totally deserves a smart and sometimes compassionate girl like Sakura! But at the same time, I sometimes have these weird feelings for Lee-senpai! Wait! Back up! We agreed not taint the pure one! Get your shit together Ren! Lee-senpai is out of your fucking league! I know! Leave me alone!
"So you're challenging me, even knowing my lineage? In other words, you're a fool," Duckass commented, snapping me from my thoughts.
"Oh, yeah!" Sakura agreed.
"So, Dog-Brow... Do you really want to learn... what it means to be an Uchiha?" Uchiha asked as he glared at my senpai.
"He's going to kick your ass," I whispered to the duck, only to be ignored by everyone else.
"Absolutely!" Lee-senpai replied while giving a smile.
"I'm willing to bet he's going to kick your ass," I warned the Uchiha, only to be ignored yet again. Okay me, I'll take that bet. If I win, I'll hold it over Duckass forever. If I lose, I'll treat myself to some dango later. Sounds good, I'll take that bet me. Great me.
"Hold it!" Uzumaki-kun demanded before looking at my senpai with an irked expression. "Let me handle Dog-Brow. He'll be toast. Just give me five minutes..."
I smirked subtly. I bet he'll beat Uzumaki-kun's ass in five seconds. I agree! Win - Dango. Lose - Curry. Deal!
"I have no interest in fighting you. Only Uchiha," Lee-senpai stated.
Uzumaki-kun grew irked as he rushed towards the green-clad genin. "Story of my freakin' life! It's "Sasuke, this!" and "Sasuke, that!" till I could just puke!"
Lee-senpai allowed Uzumaki-kun to get within hitting distance before redirecting the boy's punch, causing the blonde to nose-dive for the floor.
Uzumaki-kun caught himself before sending a kick towards Lee-senpai. Of course, since he was off-balance, he was easy to take out.
Lee-senpai easily dodged under the kick while rotating around. "Gale Force Technique!" He hit Uzumaki-kun away, causing the boy to roll into the far wall.
The blonde was down for the count.
Lee-senpai stood up before holding his left hand behind his back in a fist. His right hand extended out towards Uchiha while his palm faced the sky. He was seriously going to kick Uchiha's ass. "Mark my words... None of you will beat me. I am the greatest fighter among all the genin in Konoha Village!"
My brow furrowed before I lifted up my mind finger. Excuse me, but there are two things wrong with your previous statements. A) I could so kick your ass if I added in some kunais and ninjutsu... Probably... Maybe not, I never tried. I'm not willing to bet on anything. B) Neji can still kick your ass, and I would totally bet on that one!
"This could be fun. I accept your challenge," Uchiha stated as he gave a smirk.
"Oh! Don't do it, Sasuke-kun! We have less than half an hour to submit our applications!" Sakura exclaimed.
I glanced over to the clock and saw that it was 3:34, meaning we only had 26 minutes left to submit our applications.
"This will only take five minutes!" Uchiha yelled as he ran at Lee-senpai.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura squealed.
I leaned over to her and whispered, "You know the Duckass is going to lose, right? 1,000¥, right here, right now. I'm willing to bet."
Her excitement turned to horror as she watched Lee-senpai move quickly.
"Konoha Hurricane!" The black-haired taijutsu expert yelled as he jumped into the air. He swung his foot around, only to kick air as Uchiha ducked down. He landed on the ground and quickly swung his foot around again.
Duckass tried blocking the attack, but his speed wasn't nearly as fast as Lee-senpai's. He got kicked across the face and was sent a few meters away.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaimed.
As Uchiha began to get up, he glared fiercely at Lee-senpai.
The boy wearing orange leg warmers smirked as he got back into his standard fighting position.
Yep. Uchiha's finally gonna get knocked down a peg, I thought as I gave a small smile.
Uchiha gave a smirk as he activated his sharingan, showing two tomoes is both eyes.
Lame! By the time Itachi-senpai was your age, he had graduated, passed the chunin exam by himself, and became a fucking ANBU member! You're not shit! I thought as I sassily crossed my arms.
Uchiha once again charged for Lee-senpai, only to be high-kicked into the air. Blood came from his mouth as he glared down with one eye.
"Exactly..." Lee-senpai said as he knelt down. "They're neither ninjutsu or genjutsu." He then jumped into the air and right behind Uchiha.
"S-Sasuke!" Uzumaki-kun yelled, making me turn my temporary attention to see if he was badly wounded or something to that effect.
"Ohh... Kagebuyo..." Lee-senpai said softly before glaring at the back of Uchiha's head. "That's right. No trickery. My moves are strictly physical. Hard as you may find to accept it... If your sharingan eye can see the heart of every shinobi art well enough to duplicate it, as it is said to, then you know what I said is true. I'm sure your sharingan is valuable against ninjutsu or genjutsu, with their formalized rules, sign-casting, and chakras... But physical taijutsu arts in their pure form are a very different story."
"But... How?!" Uchiha yelled as Lee-senpai held the tips of his fingers to the spine of Uchiha's back.
"Even if you can perfectly perceive and understand my movements, you lack the speed and strength to counter them. You haven't had the physical training necessary to keep up with me! It doesn't matter what your eye can see if your body's too weak to act!" Lee-senpai explained before the wrappings around his hands began to unravel.
"Lee!" I yelled angrily. "Don't you fucking dare!"
The boy ignored me. "There are two kinds of strength. The kind you're born with... And the kind you get from back-breaking work! Your sharingan is natural-born genius. I hear it runs in your family. What I have, I got through blood, sweat and tears! In other words, your subtle arts and my physical prowess make us a complete mismatch! Let me prove it to you. This particular move of mine exceeds your genius... Completely!"
My hands twitched before I quickly jumped to where they were. I caught Uchiha under my left arm as I wrapped my legs around Lee-senpai's torso, forcing his arms to his side. I glared down into Lee-senpai's black eyes as I growled, "You know that move is forbidden, Lee. What do you think Gai-sensei would say if he saw your behavior?"
"Ren is right!" Ningame yelled as he appeared, sending a pinwheel into one of Lee-senpai's wrappings in order to stop the boy just in case I failed.
I hummed as Lee-senpai was jerked to a stop. I then quickly twirled around and released the boy from a different team. I flipped around in the air a few times before finally straightening myself out. I landed easily with Uchiha held bridal style in my arms. Of course, like any sane person, I dropped him upon noticing that Lee-senpai ended up wrapped up in his wrapping from my twirling him around. I caught my senpai and muttered, "Sorry."
"It's no problem," Lee-senpai replied while giving his own sheepish smile.
I quickly grabbed onto his wrapping before pulling as hard as possible, causing him to spin like a top for a few seconds. I stopped him once he was unwrapped.
"Sasuke-kun, are you alright?!" Sakura exclaimed as she rushed over to the Uchiha.
Duckass shook as he glared up at Lee-senpai.
"You... You saw?" The spandex-wearing boy asked as he knelt down before Ningame. He shook a bit as an embarrassed flush sat on his cheeks.
"You know the rules, Lee. That move is strictly forbidden!" Ningame scolded.
"P-please forgive me..." Lee-senpai apologized, "I was only..."
Ningame gave a harsh glare, causing Lee-senpai to recoil.
"But! But! I... I wouldn't have used the reversal move... I never meant..." Lee-senpai opposed, his words all jumbled together as he tried to reason his actions out.
"Hey! Hey!" Uzumaki-kun yelled as he came running over.
"What?" Sakura replied.
"That thing over there..." Uzumaki-kun pointed at Ningame, who was glaring at the nervously fidgeting Lee-senpai. "That's a turtle... Right?"
"Obviously!" Sakura yelled.
"So what's the deal here? Can turtles become ninja?" The blonde asked.
"Oh my fucking gods," I sighed with disbelief as my face rested in the palm of my hand.
"Don't ask stupid questions!" Sakura demanded, already being able to tell that it was a summoning.
"You fool!" Ningame yelled, causing Lee-senpai to flinch back with a small yell. "Do you think I care about your feeble excuses? Consider this repercussions of a shinobi warrior - any shinobi - baldly explaining all his secrets!"
"Y-yes sir!" Lee-senpai replied.
"I hope you are properly prepared?" Ningame said.
"Y-yes sir..." Lee-senpai muttered as he lowered his head in shame.
"Well then... He's all yours, Gai-sensei!" Ningame announced.
Gai-sensei appeared with a puff of smoke while posing dramatically. "Ah, the exuberance of youth. All of you are full of it."
My teammates were shocked, especially Uzumaki-kun since he gave a small shriek of surprise.
"He's got the biggest eyebrows yet! They're almost... alive..." Uzumaki-kun commented.
"And that same dorky 'do... They're... Uberbrows! I've never seen anything like 'em!" Sakura exclaimed.
"You get used to them," I stated blankly.
"H-hey! Don't try to make fun of Gai-sensei!" Lee-senpai yelled angrily at my teammates.
"They don't mean it!" I yelled back before glaring at my teammates. "Apologize, you assholes."
"Oh, shut up! I don't even know what to make of all the freaks who keep popping in here!" Uzumaki-kun yelled at Lee-senpai.
"Bitch, I once saw you down nineteen bowls of ramen in under a minute! Who the fuck do you think you are, a descendant from a superior alien race?!" I scolded. (Upon writing this story down many years later, I figured out the answer was technically yes.)
Lee-senpai only got more riled up. "What-"
"Lee!" Gai-sensei called while waving his hand to catch the miniature version of himself's attention.
"Huh?" Lee-senpai muttered as he looked back before recalling that Gai-sensei was actually less that a meter away. "Oh! Uh, yes sir...?"
"Idiot!" Gai-sensei yelled while punching Lee-senpai across the face, sending the boy crashing down to the ground.
Lee-senpai spat out some blood, making me internally cringe.
"Huh?!" Sakura exclaimed as the rest of my teammates looked shocked.
"You... You..." Gai-sensei said as tears began to form in his eyes.
"Sensei...!" Lee-senpai exclaimed as he shakily began to sit up.
Gai-sensei smiled down at his student as tears freely flowed down his cheeks.
"Sensei... I... I..." Lee-senpai also began to cry as he looked up at his teacher.
The two quickly embraced.
"That's enough, Lee! Not one more word," Gai-sensei demanded.
"Sensei!" Lee-senpai cried out.
"Ewww..." Sakura commented.
The other two boys had similar expressions.
"I understand it's because you're young!" Gai-sensei explained as the two shook from their tears.
"Sensei!" You know who said that.
"Doesn't it give you a warm, fuzzy feeling?" Uzumaki-kun asked while pointing at the two embracing.
"Don't be an idiot! They're up to something!" Sakura yelled as she pointed at the blonde. She then looked past him at me before asking, "Why are you crying?!"
"It's very emotional!" I screeched before quickly breathing in through my nose to get the snot all back inside of it.
Gai-sensei let Lee-senpai go before standing up. He gently patted his favorite student's right shoulder with his left hand while saying, "It's alright, Lee! Mistakes and youth go hand in hand."
"You are too kind, sensei!" Lee-senpai replied.
"But I can't let your attempt to break the big rule go unpunished. Your penalty will be to sweat after the chunin exams," Gai-sensei stated as he put his hands on his hips.
With a salute, Lee-senpai replied, "I understand!"
"Five hundred laps around the practice arena!" Gai-sensei replied as he shoved his right fist into the air.
"Yes sir!" Lee-senpai agreed, still saluting.
I quickly dried my tears up before putting my hands on my hips. "Okay, I've had enough emotions for today."
"What a dip..." Sakura muttered.
"What's the deal with that turtle thing, anyway?" Uzumaki-kun asked.
"That thing is called Ningame, and as the same suggests, he's a ninja turtle summoning," I explained to the idiot, who perked up.
"Whoa, really?!" He questioned excitingly.
"Uh-oh, he's looking at us..." Sakura said, as she recoiled a bit.
"Eh?" I asked as I looked over at her.
"By the way... How is Kakashi? I'm asking you!" Gai-sensei questioned.
"You know Kakashi-sensei?" Uchiha replied.
"Do I know him?" Gai-sensei asked with a chuckle as he held his chin with his right hand.
"Bro, have you never seen him and Kakashi-sensei around town doing their challenges?" I asked the Uchiha with a look of disappointment.
Gai-sensei quickly appeared behind us, making me swerve around to look at him while he spoke. "I should say so! We're eternal rivals! The score stands at fifty to forty-nine to me."
My three teammates jolted and turned around to look at Gai-sensei in shock.
"I'm stronger than he is," Gai-sensei said as he gave his "good guy" pose.
"As you can see, Gai-sensei is totally amazing!" Lee-senpai piped up.
"All of the money in my wallet says Kakashi-sensei's going to beat you the next two times," I stated as I pulled my wallet out and waved it in front of the face of my favorite sensei.
"Drat!" Gai-sensei cursed before straightening up. "Thank you, Ren, for stepping in."
I gave him his famous pose in return. "No problem! I'm always willing to help a friend stay on the right path."
The man teared up before quickly hugging me. "Your springtime of youth never ceases to amaze me, Ren!"
"A-ah, thank you, Gai-sensei!" I exclaimed as I hugged him back.
He released me before grinning down at my teammates. He held his thumb up and said, "I know Lee started this fight, but take pity on his old teacher. For the sake of my own self-respect, forgive him." He then added softly, "Gotta save face... It's just so handsome!"
Uchiha stared at the ground, shocked beyond all belief.
"You're free to go unharmed. Youth is a very delicate thing, after all," I said as I rocked back and forth on my heels.
The man gave a joyful laugh before throwing a kunai over at the pinwheel that constricted Lee-senpai's wrapping. "You and Lee should head up to the classroom now."
Lee-senpai quickly began to wrap up his hand so he could move without it getting caught on something.
"Best of luck, Lee! Later!" Gai-sensei yelled as he jumped away at the speed of light.
"Yes sir!" Lee-senpai replied with a salute before doing the finishing touches on his wrappings.
"Hey, did you tell him?" I asked my senpai while pointing at the spot my favorite teacher had just occupied.
"Eh? O-oh! Uh, no." He gave a sheepish laugh as he rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, Ren-kun."
"It's fine, Lee-senpai," I said as I waved his concern off.
"I promise that I shall tell him later today!" Lee-senpai exclaimed as sparkles floated around him.
I gave him a thumbs up.
"By the way Sasuke, I was blowing smoke before. I'm really here to prove my own strength in combat. And I don't think you're the strongest Konoha genin." My senpai gave a smirk as I bit back my laughter. "The strongest genin is a member of my own team... And I intend to take him down. That's why I'm entering. And by the way... You're on my list, too."
"Your hard work shall beat his genius!" I yelled as I gave Lee-senpai my full support in the form of a hug and a nice petting of the hair.
Lee-senpai grinned wider as he returned my hug. "Thank you! I won't let you down! Your hard work will pay off, too!" He then separated from me and jumped too the second floor. "Off to apply for the exam. Be ready for it, okay?"
"Of course, senpai!" I chirped while giving him a salute. Once he was gone, I turned to my team with a stupid smile on my face. "Aren't Gai-sensei and Lee-senpai the coolest?"
Uchiha glared at me as his fists shook
"Sasuke-kun..." Sakura muttered as she looked at him worriedly.
"What was that crap?" Uzumaki-kun asked with his hands behind his head, his gaze directed towards the duck. "Maybe your hot-shot, famous Uchiha Clan isn't that great after all, huh?"
"Naruto!" Sakura yelled angrily at the blonde.
"...Shut up..." Uchiha demanded, "Next time, he's dead meat."
"Despite the total butt-kicking you got this time, right?" Uzumaki-kun pressed.
"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura snapped.
Uchiha released a growl.
Uzumaki-kun suddenly gained a serious look. "You saw his hands, right? Old Doggy Brows probably gets some kind of super-duper extra-special training, day after day! Even more than you got. You're toast pal."
Uchiha finally seemed to understand his place, so I was finally going to be an asshole.
"Uzumaki-kun is right. Lee-senpai does have a rather rigorous training schedule, but it is he himself which pursues such activities. "I shall do 1,000 push-ups. If I cannot do 1,000 push-ups, I shall do 1,000 jumping jacks. If I cannot do 1,000 jumping jacks, I shall do 1,000 high kicks..." Lee-senpai works himself down to the bone for the sake of his dream - to prove that hard work can beat natural-born genius and prodigies." I gave a small sigh as I rubbed the back of my head. "Lee-senpai is amazing in that regard, so you're not going to have much of a chance with him."
"How do you know all of this?" Sakura asked suspiciously.
"You remember that taijutsu expert and favorite student I mentioned yesterday? Gai-sensei is the taijutsu expert, and Lee-senpai is that favorite student. I've been training with them for the last year. It's also because of that training with them, as well as the knowledge I've gained from them, that I knew to step in." I looked over at Uchiha with the utmost seriousness. "If Lee would have used that move on you, you wouldn't be standing here right now. You'd be on your way to the hospital."
The black-eyed boy flinched slightly as his eyes widened. "He knows such a dangerous move?"
"And more. He knows moves so dangerous, using them once would kill him," I explained whilst thinking about the chakra gates.
The Duckass clenched his hands into fists again before suddenly relaxing himself. He then clenched his hand once again as a smirk formed on his face. "Hmmf! Things are starting to get interesting. This chunin selection exam is bringing things to a boil!"
My two teammates stared silently for a moment before brightening up.
"Well, yeah!" Uzumaki-kun agreed.
"Yep!" Sakura said at the same time as a blush began to form on her face.
"Naruto? Sakura? Ren? Let's go!" Uchiha demanded as he began to walk towards the place we needed to go to.
"Yeah!" Uzumaki-kun agreed as he followed.
Sakura simply walked silently while looking at Duckass, her blush growing larger.
I gave a small chuckle before taking up the rear.
"Hey, do you know those dangerous moves, too?" Uzumaki-kun asked while glancing back at me.
"No. Gai-sensei refused to teach me anything before I became an actual ninja. I tried learning from watching, but failed epically at my first attempt." I gave a laugh as I remembered how I gave myself a concussion and a broken wrist from attempt the primary lotus. I stopped laughing once I recalled my punishment. "Gai-sensei got so angry at me, he forbid me from training with his group until I swore that I would never attempt to learn by myself again."
"But you do know about them, right?" The blonde pressed.
"Well... There is one that I've managed to figure out on my own, but the one time I used it, I ended up going through so much mental strain, I promised myself to never perform it again," I said before sighing. I had to rip my seal off at the time since my mind was practically ripping itself in two from the power that was surging to the sealed one.
"Hold on..." Sakura demanded before suddenly glaring at me. "That time when you came back from your "mountain climbing" with a sprained ankle and bruised backbone was from training with those two freaks, wasn't it?"
"What?" I asked before remembering what she was talking about. "Oh, no. I just really wanted to climb up those mountains. Gai-sensei and Lee-senpai had nothing to do with that one."
"What about the time you thought you broke your right pinky and ring finger?" She interrogated.
"I tried making my own explosive tags and accidentally blew up a tree branch, which splintered and caught my fingers. Once again, they had nothing to do with that," I answered honestly.
The girl narrowed her eyes at me, her hands on her hips. "What about the internal bleeding you had six months ago?"
"Neji was being an asshole, and he fucking deserved what he had coming!" I yelled angrily upon remembering how Neji and I had the biggest bitch fight in the history of bitch fights after he insulted my senpai.
"Who's Neji?" Uzumaki-kun asked.
"He's an asshole with such a large stick shoved up his ass, even Duckass here would be done with his shit in fifteen minutes!" I yelled while motioning to Uchiha.
Uzumaki-kun put his hands up in self-defense while Sakura punched the back of my head for insulting the legendary ducky.
"Even though he is an asshole, he gives some nice pointers when we spar together. He's a pretty good shinobi," I said as I calmed down. I then paused and thought, Wait. I don't think he's actually ever given me a verbal pointer. He just narrows his eyes and looks at me all like, 'Are you fucking retarded or something? Did you not see what I just did? Learn how to counter me, for fuck's sake.' I mean, with less curses, but it's what he basically thinks.
We finished walking to room 301 silently and without any troubles.
There, Kakashi-sensei was waiting for us. "Glad you made it after all, Sakura. This way, you all qualify for the chunin selection exam."
"What do you mean?" Sakura questioned.
"The way the test is set up, it can only be taken by three-person teams," he replied, making me lift up a hand.
"Uh, I hate to be the person that has to point this out, but there's four of us. You... uh... You can't count, Kakashi-sensei," I stated while looking at him warily.
"Ren, just go stand over there, you have something else set up," Kakashi-sensei requested while pointing a little ways down the hallway I just walked down.
I glanced over at my team before going back there.
"Um... Kakashi-sensei, you said it was up to each of us to decide whether or not to apply. Were you lying to us?" Uzumaki-kun asked.
"And what about Ren?" Sakura added in.
"Ren is going to be fine. As for what I said... I said what I had to to keep your partners from pressuring you into coming along. Even if you had no interest in applying, one word from Sasuke, and you'd have come along and gone through the motions, though your heart wouldn't have been in it," Kakashi-sensei explained.
"What would have happened if Sasuke-kun and Naruto had shown up without me?" Sakura questioned.
"I'd have washed them out right here. None of you would have gotten past this point without both of the others. But you're all here because you want to be. And I'm very, very proud of you." Kakashi-sensei gave a closed-eye smile to prove the point. "Now, get in there. Ren will be entering shortly."
Sakura looked reassured, and the other two boys just looked happy to be participating.
As the three opened the doors to the room, Uzumaki-kun yelled, "Look out everybody, 'cause here we come!"
The door closed behind them, and Kakashi-sensei motioned me over.
I walked up to him hesitantly. "Erm... Did I do something wrong? Or am I going to be with another team? Or...?"
The man pinched the bridge of his nose while giving a sigh. "I was actually hoping that Sakura wouldn't have shown up, that way you'd be forced to go on the team with Sasuke and Naruto. However, since she did show up, you're..." He released an aggravated noise before looking down at me seriously. "You, as decided by the Council of Elders and Hokage-sama, shall be taking the exam alone."
I did what any sane person would have - I laughed as horror filled my expression. "That's really funny! I can't believe you're fucking with me like this though! Ah, why the hell aren't you messing with me? Please tell me you're not serious. I'm not going to waltz into death alone, right?"
Kakashi-sensei knelt down and looked at me directly in the eyes. "I'm sorry, but yes. You're going to be taking the exam alone, however..."
"However?" I repeated questioningly as I got ready for the worst case scenario.
"You need to hand over the seals, all of them," he replied as he extended his hand out.
"Oh, yeah," I said as I began reaching into my back pouch, only for him to shake his head.
"Not those ones," the jônin stated.
I stared at him silently for a moment. "You're... You're not serious, right?"
"I am. I need those seals, all of them. As well as the supplies you use to make those seals," Kakashi-sensei said as his fingers twitched.
"Can I not take the exam?" I mumbled, not wanting to get rid of my sado and maso seals.
"You have to now," he answered.
I grumbled before reaching down my shirt. I pulled my two seals off of my chest before handing them over to Kakashi-sensei. I then reached into my pouch and pulled out my backup seals. I also pulled out my small ink container and brush before handing them over. "I don't have the paper on me to make more seals."
"Are you lying?" Kakashi-sensei questioned sternly.
I shook my head in reply.
"I also need your training weights," he then said.
"Them too?" I asked dejectedly.
He gave a simple nod.
I sighed before pulling my arm warmers off. I then took my training weights off before handing them over to him. I pulled my arm warmers back on before dealing with my leg warmers. I grumbled bitterly as I took the training weights off of my legs before handing them out and fixing my leg warmers. Once I stood up properly, I crossed my arms and growled, "Anything else?"
"Don't die," Kakashi-sensei instructed before motioning to the door.
"I'll try," I grumbled before entering the room. I saw that many people there, but brushed it off as I went over to the rookie genin that surrounded some grey-haired teenager. "What are we doing?"
"Were you not paying attention? We're looking at Kabuto-san's shinobi skill cards," Sakura grumbled at me before realizing it was me who asked. She looked over at me with surprise, but quickly turned her attention back to the older kid as he placed a card on the ground.
"It took me four years to collect all the intelligence needed for this exam. In all, there are almost 200 cards. They look blank, don't they? The only way you can read the data on the cards..." He placed his middle finger on the card before summoning chakra to said card.
"What's he doing?" Ino-chan muttered in confusion.
"...is by using my own personal chakra. Each set is linked to its possessor. For example, cards like this one..." Kabuto-san trailed off before the card suddenly revealed its information.
"It's some kind of combination map and bar graph, in three dimensions! What kind of intelligence is this?" Sakura asked.
"It shows how many applicants each shinobi nation is sending to this session of the chunin ninja exams," Kabuto-san answered.
Otogakure? Never heard of it. If it's a developing country, there may be problems with information, though there are only 3 genin from there. Let's see what else... 6 from Takigakure, as well as Kusagakure. 21 from Amegakure. 30 from Sunagakure, including Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro. Hm... And of course, the country hosting the exam has the highest amount of applicants - 88. In total, there are 154 applicants. The success rate of this exam is somewhere around 3%. Those chances aren't looking good... I internally sighed upon figuring that all out.
"Do you also have dossier cards? Cards for each individual applicant?" Uchiha questioned.
Kabuto-san gave a little laugh. "Why? Someone here you have a particular interest in?" He picked up his graph card before hiding away all the information. "I'll admit these are far from complete, but I've burned a set of dossier cards for the current pool of applicants... Including your team. If you share any data you have on the person that interests you, I'll be happy to look him up and let you know what I have so far."
"Gaara from Sunagakure and Rock Lee from Konoha," Uchiha replied.
"You know their names? No sweat, then!" Kabuto-san replied before pulling two cards from his deck. He put them up as his black eyes barely showed from the light reflecting off of his glasses.
"Let me see them," Uchiha demanded, making me elbow him.
"Manners, Duckass. He's nice enough to share his info, so it's the least you could do," I scolded, making him scrunch up a bit.
"Please," Uchiha growled out.
Kabuto-san gave me a small nod of thanks before putting the cards down. "First up is Rock Lee." He put his chakra in the card to reveal all the info he had on my senpai. "He's a year older than you guys. Missions to date: 20 D-Ranked, 11 C-Ranked. His team's sensei is Might Gai. And his taijutsu skills have grown exponentially this past year. He has no other talents worth mentioning. He was considered a standout among last year's genin... But he didn't apply for the chunin exam. He's a first timer, like you three. His teammates are names Hyuuga Neji and Tenten."
I gave a small nod of approval before pointing at how high Lee-senpai's taijutsu skills were. "See that, Duckass? I told you he's a taijutsu expert."
Kabuto-san swiped the card away before putting the other card in its place. He focused his chakra to it and said, "Next is Suna no Gaara... Sunagakure... 8 C-Ranked missions... One B. Wow! Not many rookie shinobi get B-Ranked assignments. Since he's from way out in the desert, I have less on him... But it's interesting. He's come back from every mission completely unscathed. Without a scratch..."
"Hey, what do you have on me?" I asked cheerfully while pointing at my face.
He raised an eyebrow before pulling one more card out of his deck. "Haruno Ren from Konohagakure. You've been on 8 D-Ranked missions and 1 C-Ranked... Your taijutsu is more proficient then your teammates, as is your ningu... You... It says you have mastery over the art of seals..." The grey-haired boy looked up at me with suspicion swimming around those black eyes of his. "Your kill count is at least twenty."
I snickered a bit. "Yeah, at least. Rouge shinobi are significantly easier to kill than you'd expect. I sure had fun on that mission..."
Sakura suddenly sucked in a breath before inching away. She had realized that I didn't have my seals, and she wanted no part of that.
"Konoha, Suna, Ame, Kusa, Taki, Oto... This year, every hidden village has sent outstanding genin here to compete. I don't know much about Otogakure. It's part of a new, small nation, so intelligence on it is lacking. Every other competing village is well-respected, home to some formidably powerful shinobi..." Kabuto-san commented, changing the topic of conversation.
"Anybody besides me suddenly feeling kind of outclassed?" Hinata-san asked meekly.
"What are you trying to tell us is... everyone here..." Sakura trailed off as she looked at Kabuto-san with a furrowed brow.
The teenager gave a smirk. "Oh, yeah. They're all like Lee and Gaara... Elite, hand-picked shinobi, the best young ninja in the world."
I snorted before pointing into the crowd. "Bitch, that man right there is at least thirty. I think we'll be fine."
Kabuto-san spared me a glare before continuing on like he hadn't been interrupted. "They have to be! This test is pitiless!"
"Fucking old man, right goddamn there!" I yelled at the grey-haired teenager as I waved my finger around, still pointed at the man that looked like an old loser. "Come on man! He's like the second-coming of the Eternal Genin!"
"You know, I could have sworn your information said you've been more mellow lately," Kabuto-san said as he glared harder at me.
"I woke up on the side of the bed that turns me into an unholy hellspawn this morning. I must simply fulfill my destiny. Can you not see it? I must make everyone suffer, for that is my one true purpose in life," I explained before whipping around. I got onto one knee and held Uchiha's hand between mine. "Would you do me the honors of seeing hell first?"
"...No," he answered as he pulled his hand away from me.
"Thank you for agreeing," I chirped before bouncing up. I looked over at the shaking Uzumaki-kun and pursed my lips. "1,000¥ he does something stupid."
"I'm not betting," Duckass replied as Sakura put her hand on the blonde's shoulder.
"It's alright, Naruto. Nothing to worry about," Sakura said reassuringly.
The blonde then quickly turned heel and pointed at the crowd of people in the room. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto! And none of you are going to beat me! You got that?!"
"What's his problem?!" Ino-chan yelled at Sakura while pointing at the moron.
"Yeah! That felt great!" Uzumaki-kun announced as he put his hands behind his head.
"Dude, I can point out at least one hundred people that can kick your ass," I said as I looked at the moron with great disappointment.
"I'll find a way to kick their butts!" He replied.
"You're going to die a virgin at this rate," I mumbled.
"No, I'm not!" He screeched as an embarrassed blush covered his cheeks.
I grinned viciously at the boy who fell into my trap. "Yes, I suppose you're right. After all, you shared your first kiss with this guy." I motioned to Uchiha Sasuke, the legendary Duckass himself, who glared fiercely at me. "And yesterday, you said you love Kakashi-sensei. Perhaps I should take something from that?"
The horror that filled his face was so good, I would have sold my soul then and there for a camera so I could have caught that moment forever. "You- You...! How could you even say that?! You know I don't like guys! And I'd especially never like some jerk like Sasuke or some pervert like Kakashi-sensei!"
"Oh? Then perhaps a nice guy like Iruka-sensei, who you just so happened to blush about when we came back from Nami no Kuni?" I pressed as my grin somehow grew wider.
"Never!" Uzumaki-kun screamed at me, the red blush expanding to cover his entire body.
"Ren!" Sakura yelled catching my attention. She gave me a harsh glare, but the shit-eating grin I had wouldn't go away.
"Come on. I have a point, and you know it," I said as I rocked back and forth on my feet.
"You're embarrassing us!" My twin scolded while pointing at me.
"Hey, I'm not the one flirting with grown men," I objected as I put my hands on my hips.
She sassily raised a brow, making me internally pause to wonder if I had actually flirted with a grown man somewhere along the way. (As it turns out, she was thinking about how I interacted with Kakashi-sensei, even though I technically wasn't flirting with him.)
"Alright fine. I have never knowingly flirted with a grown man," I corrected while giving a small glare.
She lifted up a finger before looking at me with accusation clear in her jade eyes. "The takoyaki incident."
"We agreed to never speak of that day again!" I screeched as I clenched my chest tightly. I then turned my attention to the three ninja that had moved in the crowd while pretending to listen to whatever Sakura was saying.
The one with bandages covering the majority of his body pulled up the sleeve of his right arm, revealing some odd contraption.
The other male on the team, the one who had 'Die' written three times on his shirt, then jumped into the air and threw two kunais at Kabuto-san. In his hands were two holes that seemed to lead to tubes in his arms.
The first male quickly jumped in front of Kabuto-san while activating his jutsu. He swung his right fist at Kabuto-san while his device vibrated slightly.
Kabuto-san moved his head back before the punch could hit, only to have his glasses shatter. He seemed fine for a moment, but only a moment.
"What's going on? He dodged the blow, but something broke his glasses!" Uchiha noted aloud.
"His nose probably got grazed... Serves him right for acting all superior," Shikamaru-san commented.
Kabuto-san suddenly shuddered before throwing up on the ground.
"Aw, man! He's hurling!" Uzumaki-kun announced for everyone who didn't have eyes.
"Kabuto-san?" Sakura asked worriedly.
The three oto-nins stood next to each other while glaring down at Kabuto-san.
I gave a small whistle and a clap of my hands, gaining practically everyone's attention. "That was a neat trick, though you really shouldn't have done it in front of everyone. I mean, what kind of moron reveals everything about their team before an exam such as this one starts?!"
I gave a mocking laugh before putting my hands on my hips. "You with the bandages are clearly the team leader. The thing on your right arm is a metal device which acts as your main offense and defense tool. As a ninja from the Otogakure, you use sound as your main weapon. Though since your main tool is that contraption, you specialize in close-range ninjutsu that use vibrations. Those vibrations you used just now not only broke Kabuto-san's glasses, but also entered his eardrums and threw off his equilibrium off. That, in turn, caused him to grow physically sick in such a manner. Anyways, it's clear from that you're good at taijutsu, especially with the speed of your punch."
That guy narrowed his eyes at me, clearly not approving of my observational skills.
"Now, as for the other guy, he specializes in long-ranged ninjutsu. Those holes in his hands make for compressed sound-waves, which allow him to stay further away from opponents whole attacking. However, judging from the way his clothes fit him, it's obvious he too is proficient at taijutsu."
I then looked over at the girl. "That leaves the female as your genjutsu expert. It's clear that she doesn't fight as often as you two by her body type, making genjutsu her main weapon and defense." I chuckled once more as I placed my fingers together, but kept my palms from touching. "They say shinobi should use discretion as to not allow their opponents to get useful information against them. However, it seems like you three fools aren't very good shinobi. You've simply placed targets on your backs, especially since everyone now knows your individual assets to your team."
I gave an innocent smile as I put my hands behind my back. "You three are now dead men. I wonder who's going to try to kill you losers first. I can't wait. Hehe."
And that's when the proctors finally showed up in a dramatic puff of smoke.
