"Sister, It's Patrick. Shelagh needs you."
"I'm getting on my bicycle right now. I will see you in 10 minutes."
"Thank you, Sister. Please let yourself in when you get here."
As Patrick put down the phone, he heard Shelagh's silent tears turn into sobs. It was at that moment he went running to his wife and pulled her into his arms.
"It's alright, Shelagh." Patrick gently encouraged. "I'm here for you, Shelagh. No matter what happens, I am here for you."
Fifteen minutes later, Sister Julienne found Shelagh still in Patrick's arms, softly sobbing and clinging to him as though he might leave.
"Shelagh," Patrick spoke gently, "Sister Julienne is here. Will you talk to her? I can leave if you need space to talk with only her. Please, Shelagh?"
After a moment, he felt Shelagh's head turn away from his shoulder. Her response was soft, but important, nonetheless.
"Patrick, please don't leave. I'm scared without you."
"Do you want me to leave the room? I don't have to leave the flat."
"Okay," she answered shakily, as though she was about to cry again.
"I promise Shelagh, I won't leave the flat, and I'll come back in if you'd like."
"Okay." She whispered.
"I'll leave you to talk to Sister Julienne now." Patrick ended, gently placing a kiss on the top of her head.
"I can't thank you enough for coming, Sister. I hope she'll talk to you."
"Thank you, Dr. Turner. I'll let you know if you're needed."
Suddenly, Patrick stopped. "Oh, Sister. You might want this; she pressed it into my hand when the tears started. I think it might be the cause." He commented as he pressed the photo into her hand.
The moment that Sister Julienne sat down, Shelagh flung her arms around her and started to sob again. "She needed me," she thought, "but I'm here now."
"Oh, Sister, my heart is shattered." Shelagh sobbed into Sister Julienne's habit.
"My dear Shelagh, you have said what we all feel." She paused, sensing that if she continued, Shelagh might fall apart further."
'Oh, Sister." She paused. "I expect to see her when I'm at Nonnatus or out running errands, Oh Sister." Shelagh had composed herself to whisper the first part, but by the second, she had begun to sob again.
"Shelagh, have you paused to grieve Sister Evangelina?"
"N-no, I h-have an f-family t-to c-care f-for." Shelagh croaked between sobs.
"I have found that when we take a moment to care for ourselves, although hard means that we can care for others more effectively."
It wasn't until Shelagh looked Sister Julienne in the eyes that Sister Julienne realized there was more to her fear of grieving, and more than pure grief. Shelagh didn't break down because she had found a simple photo unexpectedly. Something was engrained within Shelagh that it was unhealthy and selfish to grieve, and before Sister Julienne could convince her otherwise, she would need to calm Shelagh down.
"O Nata Lux de Lumine Jesu redemptor se cooli*" she began to sing.
It wasn't a song sung often by the Sisters of Saint Raymond Nonnatus, and she wasn't sure Shelagh had learned it during her time in the convent, but Sister Julienne hoped it might calm her enough to talk.
