I don't own these characters; Disney/ABC does.

15: Impossible to Feign

Regina was not sure when she fell asleep, busy seething through the night. She woke up, ready to make breakfast like a good little prisoner of war, but found that impossible. She was chained to the damn wall, after all. This was stupid to do in hindsight, but it was better she do it than Emma. There was only so much distrust and betrayal she could take. If Emma had been the one to do it, Regina was not sure what she would have done, but it probably would have involved blowing up the house.

Now, she had time to seethe, but found she did not have the energy. Why bother? This was probably still the best she had been in life because she had her son and he loved her again. Why ask for more? She did not deserve it. She was a villain. So much a villain even Emma, the person who thought she was worth saving, did not think she was worthy of trusting, of believing in.

She wanted to be angry with Doctor Hopper. Why had she listened to him? There was no reason for her to tell Emma, except that was not true. Emma deserved the truth. Regina deserved the truth and she got it.

She felt better in a way. She was unburdened. Yes, she lost Emma as she expected, but at least she had an answer. There was no more looming horror. Now, she could properly plan for her future.

Was there a future, though? It was not like she, Emma, and Henry could still be a family. And, yes, while Henry might love her, if things came down to a choice, she knew Emma would win. How would she be able to take watching Emma and Henry be a family with someone else? Hook? Neal? Some other jackass? The very idea made her throat burn as bile rushed into her mouth. She swallowed it down with her pain and suffering.

"You up?" Emma asked from her space on her bed.

"If you unchain me, I can start breakfast," Regina replied.

"Silly to chain yourself up." Her voice tried to make it seem like everything was normal, like they were where they were supposed to be.

Regina would not pretend things were fine. "Yes, because you were eager to share a space with me as I remained empowered and probably plotting against you?"

Emma grunted. "I could take you."

"I'm sure, especially since you've done so well with your few magic lessons." Regina rolled her eyes. "Now, if you would unlock me, so I can get started on today's chores?"

"Oh, cut the shit, Regina. We both know you're not a servant." Emma climbed off of the bed.

Regina was not sure what that meant and did not engage. There was no reason to do so. She understood where she stood with Emma. A villain.

"The silent treatment? Real mature." Emma moved Regina's hair out of the way to unlock the chain. The second she was free, Regina was up and on the move. "Regina." Emma grabbed her by the wrist.

Regina yanked her body from Emma's hold. While her body melted at Emma's touch and control, her mind now refused. Screw Emma. Screw trust. What did I expect from the offspring of Show White and her pretender? What did I expect from my own damned life?

"Regina," Emma said for what felt like the millionth time and it did not sound good.

"I'll thank you to not touch me unless absolutely necessary," Regina said before leaving the room. She would clean up the cot when Emma was gone.

She rushed to the kitchen. She needed to do something, to occupy her mind, to help calm herself down. She needed to be able to treat Emma with some respect to avoid losing Henry. She also wanted to be calm when Henry came down, so he would not notice anything was wrong.

Regina snorted. "Who am I kidding?" Henry would notice and he would probably side with Emma. He always sided with Emma, with the heroes, and no matter what Regina did she would always be a villain.

Sniffling, Regina tried not to think about how this was the beginning of the end. Henry had his birth parents. He had grandparents who always won. He would not need her, would not want her. This would play out the way it had always been destined to. She could not avoid that, could not hold it off any longer. She could do a lot of things, but she could not cheat Fate.

"Morning, Mom," Henry said and the sound of his voice made her jump.

"Henry, I didn't hear you come down," Regina stated the obvious.

He nodded. "You seemed pretty interested in the eggs."

"I just want to make sure I don't burn them."

"You never burn the eggs."

"In front of you, no."

He seemed to accept that and it took less than a minute for her to put food in front of him to keep him from asking too many questions. Scrambled eggs with cheese, toast, and sliced sausage. Emma came down shortly after and Regina put food in front of her. She stared at the plate.

"I'll get something on the way to work," Emma said as she pushed away from the counter, like she believed Regina tampered with the meal. And why would she not think that? Regina was a villain.

Henry looked up with a little bit of toast on the side of his mouth. "What? You gotta have some of this. It's better than anything you can get outside."

"I need to get going." Emma made her way to the front door.

Henry pushed away from the counter, chasing his hero, abandoning his plate. "Wait for me. Why are you leaving early?"

"You're coming, too."

"Why am I coming, too?"

Regina ground her teeth together as Henry grabbed his book bag by the door. He was leaving early because Emma did not trust her alone with her own son, even though Henry was everything. Henry would always be everything. If Henry knew what Emma thought, he would probably agree with her actions, though. He shouldered his bag and barely spared Regina a glance.

"Bye, Mom!" Henry called.

"Bye." It might eventually be permanent. Maybe Emma was going to speak to her parents. Maybe it was time for her execution. What was the point of living anymore? She was going to lose Henry. She had already lost Emma, if she had ever had her. "Might be time to get my affairs in order."

Regina moved to clean up and considered what she needed to do in the next few days. It would not take long for her to set things in order, but she wanted to do one last thing. Might as well go out like a villain. Maybe she could salvage victory for others.

-8-8-8-8-

"Why are we leaving so early?" Henry asked as he trailed behind Emma.

Emma shook her head. She could not tell him that his mother was probably plotting something, something big. It would break his heart. Henry thought Regina had turned over a new leaf, had wanted the same things he wanted. How could Regina do this to him? Henry was supposed to be everything and Regina was willing to throw him away for what? To get Storybrooke back? To finally win? Sounded about right for Regina.

Well, it sounded right for Old Regina. The Regina she first met when she came to Storybrooke. The Regina who exposed her criminal record, who framed Mary Margaret for murder, and would do anything to save her curse. Apparently that Regina was alive and well. She was a fool to think otherwise.

"Hey, why are you ignoring me?" Henry grabbed her by the hand and yanked.

Emma stopped and pulled her hand back. "I'm in a rush right now, kid. I need to get down to the station. You know this place is crazy."

"Then why did I have to leave early? I can get to school on my own." He had done it a couple of times recently. It was not so much that the town was safe, but that the mob insanity tended to happen in the downtown area or commercial areas. Homes were no longer targets, but then again, there were gangs roaming around, too, so it probably was not the safest to let him walk to school or anything.

She looked at him, not wanting to seem stern, but definitely fed up. She was fed up with this whole day and it only just started. "Henry, sometimes, you should just do stuff and not ask so many questions."

He folded his arms across his chest. "Have you met my mom?"

His mom who claimed she liked when Emma ordered her around, even though she had murdered for her independence. How stupid does Regina think I am? Well, she was pretty stupid, considering she bought into Regina's act until it got too ridiculous. This is what happens when you just want someone to want you. Well, she could not afford to be that stupid, not when she had a son to worry about, not when she was trying to hold her home together.

"Yeah, I have, which is why I need you to not ask questions," Emma replied.

His mouth twisted up. "Does this have to do with Mom? Are you two fighting?"

"What? No! Why would you say that?" No need to ruin his day yet.

He snorted. "Because we left without breakfast, even though breakfast was right there, and you two didn't really talk. Is it because Mom put the wrist irons back on? That's weird."

Emma's jaw tensed for a second. "Yeah, this is all weird. Let's get going."

"Not making this less weird."

Emma had no doubt that was the case, but did not respond. She went to her car with Henry right behind her. He stared at her with intensity for the short trip to his school, but he did not say anything. It was like he was trying to will her to talk about things. She did not fold.

"Have a good day," Emma said as he got out of the car.

"I will if you make up with Mom," he replied.

Emma opened her mouth, but he closed the door before she could respond. Sighing, she resisted the urge to punch the steering wheel. Instead, she slammed her forehead into the wheel. What a fucking mess. She glanced up and noticed some of the kids looking at her. She drove off and somehow resisted the temptation to drive all the way to Boston.

She pulled up to the station and caught a glance inside. Snow and David were in there. She groaned. She did not have the will to deal with them, but she had to go to work. She could not just leave, even though she really wanted to. She could not leave Henry now. She could not leave town. This place was home. Of course, I could just pick Henry up from school and drive until we run out of gas. He would never go for it, though. Again, this place was home.

"Is home always this bad?" Emma's stomach hurt and it had nothing to do with not eating breakfast. Every place she had ever thought of as home left her twisted in a knot, but this was new. It was like her body wanted to collapse in on itself and then throw itself up. Why did she think this was worth it? Henry is everything echoed through her mind.

Emma got out of the car. She would deal with her parents and then go get some donuts, and maybe beer. Or stronger. Was the Rabbit Hole open yet?

Upon entering the station, three sets of wide eyes fell on Emma. They were not expecting her so early. Maybe they plotted, as Regina plotted. Was she the only one trying to hold the town together? Did it matter? No one seemed to be with her, just biding their time to do what everyone did. Hell, even Henry was geared up to leave her behind, despite what he said. He had his mighty Dad, after all. You could turn around, drive far, far away, and never look back. Except, she could not.

"Emma, good thing you're here," Ruby said.

Emma arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yeah, they want us to start rounding up the villains like right now," Ruby replied.

Emma stared at her parents. "We've gone through this. I'm not arresting people who didn't do anything."

"There's news the villains are plotting something, so you have to do something about it before they start a whole new war," David said.

"How do you know they're plotting something and what 'something'? Doing a vague something isn't against the law," Emma replied.

Snow stepped forward. "We've heard chatter that the villains are gathering to organize. They more than likely plotting to destroy the town."

"How do you know they're going to destroy the town?" Emma asked, holding in a tired sigh. Why would they want to destroy the town? It was not like the villains had anywhere to go if they wrecked the place.

"Because they're villains, Emma." David stepped forward now and threw his hands up like he was fed up with her. "This is what they do. I know you don't want to believe that. You want to think they're content with their lives here, but they don't know how to be content. They only know how to spread misery and terror and take things that aren't theirs."

Emma sighed. It sounded like the Royal Council to her. They had taken the town without asking anyone and wanted to spread misery to people just living their lives. She could not say, though, or they would swear she was brainwashed by Regina. She was sick of that damn argument, like she was not allowed a free thought different from theirs.

"How did you find out about this meeting?" Emma asked. She was unimpressed when her parents glanced at each other. "Lemme guess, Gold." Why the hell did they keep listening to him?

"Not Gold. Neal," Snow said.

Emma threw her hands up. "Oh, yeah, that makes it so much better. What the fuck? Gold is the ultimate villain and Neal's a con artist. I don't understand why you continue to do shit for or with him."

"We don't trust Gold. We just don't have a way to contain him yet," David said.

"I hear iron works pretty well," Emma replied. She could not figure out why they did not iron shackle Gold. Why was that so hard? Did they need a special spell like with Regina? Why did Regina need a special spell anyway?

"Look, Emma, this didn't come from Gold. It came from Neal and I hear you're letting Henry see him, so that must mean something, right?" Snow asked.

"It means I'm letting Henry learn on his own that his father is worthless." Emma threw her hands up once more. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Apparently, they were all mad here and she probably was right there with them, but had not figured it out. No, I have to be mad because I'm still fucking here. Henry would probably never learn his father was worthless since she could not get it through her thick skull that her parents were the same.

Everyone gasped. "Emma!"

"What? Can we not act like I'm the problem? You want me to arrest people who haven't done anything. So, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?" she said with even more conviction. It felt good to ask. I'm not the problem. They're the problem. I'm not the problem.

"Emma, calm down," Ruby said.

"No, fuck that." Emma glared at David and pointed a rigid finger at him. "You wanted to be rid of me so badly you basically gave me away to Hook." Thank whatever he left her alone for now, probably scared Ruby would eat him if he did not stop making a pest of himself.

"Emma, that's not—" David tried to say, but she did not bother to let him finish.

Emma turned her attention to Snow and pointed at her. "You still want me to be with an overgrown man-child who let me take the wrap for his crime, let me go to fucking prison. None of you give a damn about me or what the fuck I've been through. You don't give a fuck about the people in this town either. You're entirely selfish assholes, just want me to do what you want. You don't care about me as a person any more than you care about those villains as people. You think you know about everything and you claim you're heroes, but you only care about you." Emma rushed the door. Why the hell did she think she could have anything?

She jumped into car and went to find out about this stupid villain gathering. For all she knew the villains were planning to blow up the stupid town and she was tempted to let them. Fuck home, fuck these people, and fuck her parents.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina had to work hard to make it to the bistro The Lady in Gray. It had seen better days, much like she had. She had been stalked and used as target practice until she went into the woods. It was not as many people as it would have been a few days ago. In the woods, she had to avoid campsites. It seemed there were people living in the woods now. She was not sure if that was voluntary or not and did not stop to ask. From there she made it to the restaurant, albeit worse for wear. When she stepped inside, she got plenty of stares from the few dozen people there.

"My god, Regina, did you crawl here?" Nuri Aftab, the fire chief, asked as he fell to her side. He brushed leaves and twigs from her shoulders and arms. People moved to stand at his back, possibly ready to help when he was done or just rubberneck the situation.

Regina waved him away. "I'm fine. It's just…" She held up her wrists. "I'm a damn walking target."

"You're not the only one and we don't even have those," Blanca Espanto, one of the bistro's two owners, said, as she approached. She was decked out in every color of the rainbow from her sundress, to her hat, shoes, and dainty scarf. "We've had way more people than I like trying to burn our little slice of heaven to the ground. It's enough to make you want to kidnap men and torture them to death… if one were so inclined to that sort of thing anyway." Her blue eyes twinkled.

Regina was well aware. "You should defend yourselves. The Sheriff would understand."

Blanca gave her a skeptical half-smirk. "Yeah, we know all about your sheriff. She's letting go all the violent mobsters and keeping you as a pet."

"I volunteered for this!" Regina roared and threw up her hands. She did not care what was happening around her, none of these people would disrespect her like that. "It was the only way to keep my son." Even now, as Emma tore her heart out and stomped on it, she could not stand for anyone to think ill of her. Emma had problems, but she was good and tried to be fair. If she were not, she would have left this wretched place as soon as she realized Storybrooke was a lost cause thanks to the Council.

"Funny how Rumple and his brat are able to see the boy with no trouble," Blanca said with a sniff.

Regina frowned. "Rumple was around my son?" Time to reassess her plan if that was the case. Rumple would have to die before she did. She would not leave him to ruin Henry.

"Forgive my dearest, Your Majesty," Melanie Espanto said as she glided over, also wearing all colors of the rainbow. She wrapped her arm around Blanca's waist and pulled her close. "She only speaks of rumors. We know Henry has been around with that cad Neal, who has been seen in and out of his father's shop. There's something afoot."

Regina sighed. "Isn't it always?" Hopefully, Emma would be able to handle it… or smart enough to get out of town before it all blew up.

"And somehow it'll be that damn imp's fault, but he'll come out of it fresh as a daisy." Nuri growled, blowing smoke through his nose. They all knew that to be true.

Melanie waved a scolding hand at him. "Careful. We already had Adan almost burn the place down venting his anger. What is with you fire types?"

"They're hotheads, my love," Blanca replied.

Nuri's expression fell into a deadpan. "Very funny. We have more important things to discuss, though. Adan was having a melt down for a reason, after all. The imp is plotting, the so-called heroes are plotting, the royals are plotting, and we're standing around trying to figure out how to live our everyday boring little lives that no one's intent on letting us have."

"And what's your plan? Start up before he does? Beat out the royals? Challenge the heroes?" Regina looked around at the room pull of "bad guys." She scoffed. "That's all the excuse they'll need to lock every so-called villain up."

"Well, if we don't do something, they'll let the masses continue to burn down our businesses and homes. Do you know how many of us have had to house one another?" Nuri asked.

"I'm sure this is worse than you're making it sound. I know things are bad. You have to figure out how to work it in your favor," Regina replied. It had to be good several villains were in the medical profession, as they had to have needed patching up from each other since this whole affair started.

Melanie sighed and shook her head. "We just want to be left in peace."

"But, it'll never happen," Nuri said. "They've already relieved me of my position and made me take every firefighter with me, like Adan. The skeleton crew left were all members of Kent's circle. Word on the inside is the Council has the nerve to be calling for our heads, like we're the problem right now." He pressed his massive hand to his barrel chest.

"They've relieved you of your position?" Regina arched an eyebrow. "Were you too effective?" Since the Curse had a sense of humor, the town's firefighters all had fire-based powers. When magic returned, it had to be easy for them to put fires out as almost all of them controlled fire, creating it, dousing it, and such.

Nuri shrugged massive shoulders. "I think they'd prefer I start some fires. Adan's looking to spread lava all over the place. We had to stop him from raising a volcano when they fired us all."

"So, you're thinking of war?" Regina asked. It was like they never learned! War was not the answer. They all tried that in some form and it never worked.

"The thought crossed our minds. Better to go out fighting and all that," Morgan said as she approached the group, practically floating over. She draped herself on Regina, her long, blood red hair spilling over both of their shoulders. Morgan seemed to waft about her like mist. "Didn't you think so once?" She ran a cold finger down Regina's cheek.

Regina looked at Morgan through the corner of her eye. It was tempting with Morgan by her side. She had not had that power the first time. She owed Morgan so much, but it would not help for them to fall into old habits. "I didn't have a son then. I can't have him caught in a war. There is another way."

"The Evil Queen not down for murder, mayhem, and mischief? You've truly been collared," Morgan said with a smirk. She reached out to run a finger along the collar, but Regina moved. That collar was not for her.

Regina held up her hand. "No. But, again, I have a son I want to protect. Besides, we know how a war ends, how they always end. We lose." She motioned around the room. Every entity in the room always lost at the end of the day.

"Well, with that defeatist attitude." Blanca rolled her eyes. "I have very little desire to return to a life of haunting cemeteries. I feel no joy in tormenting people. It's not actually a life."

"Well, next time, don't die in a cemetery," Nuri replied.

Blanca blinked. "I was cursed, you fool. How could I be dead if I'm here talking to you? There are no zombies, ghouls, or ghosts in Storybrooke thanks to no magic."

Melanie sighed. "Thankfully. I, too, have little desire to be alone, haunting old roads, and stealing dishonest men I have no use for. No, I don't want to be cursed again, not with that one anyway."

Regina held up a finger. "Then let's not make the same mistakes as we have in the past. We always fight the last war. We have to get ahead of this thing." All eyes were on her, beyond the group she spoke with, but everyone watched her and listened. "The heroes made a move we didn't see coming. They didn't play by the rules. What if we play by the rules?"

Morgan reached over and twisted a lock of Regina's hair. "I feel deviousness from you. Do tell."

"They want the Old World back, but we want the New and we're not alone. They've put themselves in power, but here power to the people. They want to arrest you, silence you, but you can rise up in protest. It's not against the law. Use the rules against them. They think they're above the law, but no one's above the law," Regina said. If they organized the right way, they could get the people of Storybrooke behind them and have a bloodless revolution.

"And you think other people will stand with us?" Blanca asked.

She thought of Archie and his assistant, Zach. "I'm sure of it."

"Okay, we protest and then?" Nuri asked.

"Demand a vote beheld. Demand representation. Demand they follow the law like everyone else. Get the people with you. They can't rule those who refuse to be ruled. Again, play by the rules. See what happens." Regina shrugged. It was worth a shot.

"And where will you be as we play by the rules?" Morgan asked. "Shackled to the bed?"

Regina stepped away. "I'll be where I should've been a long time ago." How long had she been on borrowed time? Since the execution? The murder of her husband? Crossing her mother? Being born to her mother?

Morgan scowled and pushed back into Regina's face. "Think of your son." She reached out, trying to touch Regina.

Scowling, Regina remained out of Morgan's reach. "Oh, believe me, I have. I've thought of him. I've thought you all. I make promises that can't be kept. I've done no good for anyone, not even you. I mean, look at our victory." She threw her hands out. "Even this was snatched from us. I'm nothing more than poison, to people, to causes, to lives. I wish you luck." She turned to leave, but Morgan grabbed her hand. Nuri was the one who spoke.

"Regina, you don't have to give up," he said.

"There's nothing left for me to fight for," she replied.

"Bullshit! There's still this town, your town! Our town!" Blanca said, beating her chest.

"Don't do this, Regina. You know we'd stand with you until the end. I'll stand with you beyond that," Morgan said and she gave Regina's hand a squeeze.

"Stand with Henry. Protect my son, please," Regina replied. Once Morgan tried to protect her and she did not let Morgan. Hopefully, things would be different with Henry.

"With my life, as if he were my own. Well, no better than my own, obviously. Better than I've protected you. The damned imp, Snow White, even the mob that almost killed you. Henry will get better." Morgan stared her deep in the eye. "He will get better."

"You didn't fail me. I left you when you tried to stop me from returning to Rumple all those years ago. No one could talk me out of things with Snow White. Maleficent died trying, after all. It's time for this to end," Regina said with conviction. It was time. This needed to be over.

"It can end a different way," Melanie replied in a soft, almost pleading tone.

Regina shook her head. She was done fighting for the town, done fighting Snow White, and done scraping for a family who did not want her. These villains had a chance. Maybe outside of their stories, they could win. This world was full of long shots, but she was done.

-8-8-8-8-

Emma's nostrils flared as she watched Regina leave The Lady in Gray. She was across the street, staking the place out. So, it all was a plot. Regina was up to something along with the tons of villains in town. Damn them all for being right. Instead of continuing her job, Emma moved to confront Regina, driving home to meet Regina there.

She made it to the house before Regina and started around the place. It was an entire lie. It was all part of some terrible scheme for Regina to finally win. Everyone tried to warn her and she stood up for Regina, refusing to believe them, putting her faith in Regina. What a fool she was! Well, never again. Still, she put her fist through the wall and paced.

"Why the hell can't I have any fucking thing?" Emma screamed and flipped the coffee table. Magazines and papers went flying while the table ended up on edge, leaning against the sofa.

She tore through the living room, ripping the television off the wall, throwing books from the shelves, and breaking everything else she could get her hands on. It was like she was possessed by the Tasmanian Devil. She missed Regina coming through the door. She glared at Regina, standing at the opening of the living room.

"Looks like you should've had breakfast this morning," Regina said.

"So you can get your second chance to poison me?" Emma huffed, trying to catch her breath. Hair hung in her face and her clothes stuck to her thanks to a sweat she worked up.

Regina waved her off. "Since that's your fear, you can return me to the Council."

Emma, still panting, wiped her hair from her eyes. "Excuse me?"

"My presence has caused you nothing but pain. You and Henry. The two people I never want to hurt and I've done you both great harm. I've realized the only way to stop hurting you and to stop being the villain is to be gone." Regina had the nerve to shrug, like that was that.

Emma scoffed as she stood up straight, wanting to look strong, even though she felt powerless. She threw her shoulders back. "Oh, so I give you to them and what, you destroy them all as they try to put you under the hospital? What's your play, Regina?" What the hell was going on?

Regina did not waver, staring right back at Emma. "My play is to go out on my own terms, as it's always been. You wouldn't let me die as Regina and I don't know how to live as her at this point. So, take me to the Council."

Scowling, Emma pointed a threatening finger at Regina. "No, tell me what the hell were you doing meeting with the villains?"

Regina's nostrils flared. "You're following me?"

"No, I had no idea you'd be there. The Council thinks the villains are up to something and they think you're up to something. Looks like they're right. What the hell are you planning?" Emma stepped over, staring Regina down. She expected to see fire in Regina's eyes. Instead, deep brown glistened with what could have been sorrow.

Regina sighed and reached out, caressing Emma's cheek. Emma yanked away. Regina gave her a sad smile.

"You want to know what I'm planning?" Regina walked around Emma and went to the bookshelf. There were a couple of books that survived the redecoration. She pulled out a thick book and opened it. She pulled out two envelopes and put the book back. She turned back to Emma. "One for you. One for Henry. Do you want to read it now to call me a liar to my face?"

"You are a liar. This whole fucking thing has been a lie!" Emma tossed her arms out to either side. "You've been plotting from the start. From the chains to the servant to everything! It's all a lie! Everything!" Emma's chest hurt and she could not get enough air into her lungs. It took too much energy to stand up. She fell to her knees and sobbed. "It's all a lie."

Regina dropped to her side and held her. Emma clutched Regina around the waist and cried like never before, soaking Regina's shirt within seconds. Why was it all a lie? It was everything she ever wanted, but it was beyond betrayal. Everything around her was an illusion. Every movement around her was false. Every person was a myth. This was the worst, like her own personal Hell, torturing, crushing, killing her with each second that passed.

"It's not all a lie, Emma. I do love you. I enjoyed our moments as a family. There was no lie on my side. I really wanted to stop being your villain," Regina said, running her hand through Emma's hair. It was such a soft touch, comforting, loving almost.

Emma shook her head in Regina's chest. "Then why were you at that meeting?"

Regina sighed, slumping against Emma. "Nothing I say will matter because you think I'm a liar. You say you love me, but you don't trust me. You don't love me."

Emma sniffled. "How can I trust anything here? It's all an illusion." An illusion that ripped out everything inside of her, took chunks of her flesh and bone, left her shell, and still wanted more. "This… everything… nothing… all of it isn't real. Hell, I'm not real. You're not real. None of this is real." And maybe that hurt the worse. Parents, son, loved ones, everything she ever wanted and it just was not real. It was more than being a lie. It was nothing.

Regina rubbed her back as well as caressing her head. "This is bigger than me. I should've guessed. Our problems always are. You and I are always a sum of our entire lives. Emma, calm down and look at me without emotion, but with your powers. Your innate superpower."

Emma managed a breath, but it turned into a cough. It took a couple of tries to have a normal breath. That was enough to help her sit up. Regina held both her hands and made simple circles with her thumbs over the center of Emma's wrists. It eased an ache in her ribs. It felt like no time and all eternity Emma could take a breath and it did not hurt. She looked into Regina's eyes.

"My power doesn't always work," Emma said with a hiccup.

"No, it does work. You just don't always trust it. Ask me."

Emma sniffled and then took another deep breath. She slowly exhaled and felt as calm as she thought she would for right now. "Are you really planning to kill yourself?"

"That's what you lead with!" Regina dropped her hands and glared at her.

"You pulled letters out of a book, Regina. One for Henry." What was she supposed to think?

Regina dropped her head. "I was merely going to suggest my execution."

"So, yes." Emma took another breath. "Why?"

And Regina tilted her head, regarding Emma as if she were utterly out of her mind. "Why? Because I'm tired of everything crumbling in my fingers like wet sand in the waves. I was able to see I'd be happy in this life. I was content. I know that's fleeting, but I can't imagine dragging on without you, without Henry."

"You still have Henry."

Regina shook her head. "He has Neal. He has you. I've been superfluous for a time now."

Emma grabbed Regina's hands and yanked Regina a little closer. "That's just crazy! You're his mother! You're not some extra toe! He loves you."

Regina swallowed so hard Emma could hear it. "Yes, but he loves you, Neal, and the idea of birth parents."

Emma curled her lip. "Yeah, they're not all they're cracked up to be, but in my experience no parents are great. But, you've got something, Regina. You could be great. But, you can't abandon him."

Regina shook her head. "He won't miss me."

"Of course he will! And…" Emma sighed. "I'd miss you." Why run from the truth? She cared about Regina, which was why finding out Regina was plotting hurt so much.

A sad, hollow laugh came from Regina. "No, you wouldn't. You think I lied to you. You once made me believe I could never lie to you. I thought that to be true. I also thought I could trust myself to you, but as you said it's all a lie." Tears caught in Regina's eyes and her breath hitched in her chest. "Everything I held dear was a lie and I can only be a villain. So, why should I stay? Why should I not… why should I not…" And now Regina burst into tears.

Now, it was Emma's turn to do the holding. She blanketed Regina as best she could, wanting to protect Regina from all the world's ills even now. Regina cried softly, like it was a forbidden act. But, then again, it was a forbidden act for Regina. Who could she ever cry to, after all?

"I can't understand why you would give yourself to me. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth you," Emma said. "It only makes sense for it to be a scheme. You've been controlled all your life. You only want to be free, even now going to your execution. Why would you want me to order you around? Me of all people, too. My parents don't want me. Henry doesn't want me, but you want me? You not only want me, but you'd give me power over you? Please."

Regina looked her in the eye. It broke Emma's heart to know she put those tears there. She wanted to make this better, make this right, but she did not know how. Maybe she was not capable of making it right, of making anything right. She wiped away some tears, only for more to come and it was like the tears drowned Emma. Having Regina cry on her was more overwhelming than Regina granting her control over her.

A small, sorrowful smile settled on Regina's face. "You're the only person to ever treat me as a person. And, well, I cannot tell my body how to react to you. I didn't expect to enjoy you telling me what to do. This truly began as a way to be close to you and Henry. You two are all I want and I can't have you. I hate this. I hate this pain."

Emma kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be your villain."

Emma held her tighter. "We suck."

"We really do."

Emma nuzzled the top of Regina's head. "I care about you, a lot. I love you, but I lashed out at you because of my own issues. Well, and stress. It's easy to lash out at you because I feel like you'll always be there and now you're trying to go away because of me." Okay, maybe that hurt the most.

Regina nodded. "I know and understand the stress. I didn't help. I forced myself into your life. I made you take in a slave against your will and beliefs. I was selfish, as I often am."

Emma gave another kiss to Regina's crown. "You've gotten better. And the fact that you told me about your kink instead of trying to trick me again proves that."

Regina's shoulders dropped. "I knew it'd be too much, but I trusted you."

Emma shook her head. "It's not really too much. It's just the opposite of what I know about you. After everything you told me in Neverland, it doesn't make sense that you'd want to take orders from somebody, especially me."

Regina stared at her so intensely Emma was certain Regina could see into the depths of her soul. "Only you. I've never felt this way about anyone and I know it has to do with how you've gotten into every inch of me. You make my teeth itch."

Emma laughed. "No one else could ever annoy you like I do." It should not make her feel special, but it did. Tension that balled her into a piece of trash started to ease off of her. She could move, stretch, live.

Regina smiled at her and it was like the sun shining on her after days of rough storms. "No, you're truly a special case and you don't seem to understand that. I trust you with my everything." She held up her letters. "Even in death, even after how much you hurt me."

Emma took a sharp breath and held Regina tighter. Dude, you are an idiot! It never occurred to her how much it meant for Regina to accept her as Henry's other parent. Regina trusted her with Henry. Regina trusted her with everything. Everything.

"This was nice, wasn't it?" Emma asked.

"A dream."

"No, a haven. This is what we all need and want. This is worth fighting for. So, I'm sorry for what I said. It's just been hard." It was time to let things be easy.

Regina nodded. "I'm sorry for my actions. They were less than honest. It has been hard."

This sounded like they had come to a conclusion, one that did not end with Regina handing herself over to die. It sounded like forgiveness, like a second chance. "So, can I kiss you?"

Regina ticked up an eyebrow. "Can you phrase that in another manner?"

Emma got it and caressed Regina's cheek. "Kiss me." And Regina wasted no time in doing so.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: they kiss and make up some more.