First i want to apologize for my absence from this story. Last month was just a lot for me and with this whole virus pandemic my school schedule got all complicated and I'm unemployed for now but this gives me the opportunity to update more, so let's wish me luck for that! Second, thank you guys for reading this and reviewing, it really encourages me! ENJOY!
It had been days since the dinner. Clary had barely left her bed, her recent argument with Jace still fresh in her mind as well as Raphael still hasn't contacted her in any way. She had miraculously convinced her mother to take a break from her studies and training for a while, claiming to not feel so good and her mother, being the best mother any girl could have, took sympathy with her and granted her break. As her days confined in her room, Clary couldn't help the bitter feeling that what she was doing was necessary, yet Raphael's words kept echoing in her head. It wasn't right for her to get treated the way Jace did, but did Jace not deserve it either. She groaned as a migraine came in.
"I should've studied ethics or something if it's gonna be like this," she muttered to herself. She stood up and left her room, maybe water can help. The house was quiet as Clary shuffled to the kitchen; Luke and her mother had gone to Idris for a meeting earlier for who know what, claiming to not be home till the next day. Clary had to admit, it was nice being alone, it gave her time to think and process things and -
"Enjoying yourself?"
She yelled in a combination of surprise and fear, turning towards the voice, Clary was met with those dark brown eyes that she wanted to draw so badly before. There, standing in front of her with that same shit eating grin, was Raphael. He tilted his head at her, waiting for her to say something but no words came out. She looked at him in awe, also she was shocked to the point where she couldn't move. What was he doing here? "Miss me, hermosa?"
"Did you just break in to my house?!"
"I didn't break down your door or anything if that's what you're worried about," Raphael lightly replied as he grabbed a stool to sit himself upon. Clary was having a hard time understanding that Raphael was really in front of her right now. He was acting as if he was formally invited in, looking relaxed as he sat. It was pissing her off.
"You think a door is my concern? I didn't invite you in, did I?" Clary hissed as she walked towards him. Raphael scoffed, rolling his eyes as if she were the crazy one right now. I'll show you crazy...
"I thought you would want to see me," he said with another grin, his eyes meeting hers.
"You could've at least, I don't know, texted me or called or something."
"This is something."
The urge for violence was rising in her blood system, oh how she wanted to hit him so bad. Every encounter was the same feeling.
"How so?" she crossed her arms as she glared at the man. He took his time answering, looking around and taking his surroundings in slowly. "Would you like a house tour since you're so interested in looking around?" The words dripped with sarcasm, making Raphael turn back his attention on her. "I wouldn't want to be such a bad host." With that, he laughed.
"You are something else," he muttered to himself. "I thought showing up unannounced would be fun, given your reaction and such."
"Since you had your fun, you can leave," Clary said and turned her back on him.
"Now why would I do that?" His voice was close to her, arms barricading around her body and hands placed on the counter to keep her there. Clary was getting real annoyed; the stress and drama were catching up to her and she couldn't help but be so irritated. She turned her body to face towards him, and gave him a glare to make sure he understood she wasn't in a mood for his games. "Is someone in a bad mood."
"Move away from me right now."
Raphael cocked his head to the side, "Or what?"
"Raphael I'm not joking with you, get away from me," the hardness in Clary's voice was clear, startling her that she could do such a thing. However, Raphael did not move away from her. "I'm not gonna ask you again, Raphael -,"
Out of nowhere, Clary's face was pressed against his chest, Raphael's arms wrapping around her body.
"Wha- what're you..." Clary was at a loss of words, she didn't understand what was happening, why he was doing this?
"You shouldn't keep it in. It's okay to be upset," his voice was soft, quiet even; somehow the tone of his voice was calming her to the point she relaxed her body against his. "You must've heard things you didn't want to hear. It might fool others that you can convince them that you're fine but I know that look in your eyes."
She could feel her hands shake as he said the words, her breaths coming out faster. As much as she wanted to convince herself that she was upset, she wasn't. It was more than that, so much more. In the course of weeks that had gone by after her break up with Jace, Clary's never felt so much anxiety in her life, she was literally depressed out her mind but she didn't want others to know; it would've added on more to what was going on and she wasn't about to do that. Clary couldn't put her hurt in words, it was just a horrendous, black hole of a feeling - how would anyone know what she was going through?
"I'm supposed to be helping you but look what I've done," his hands came to her face to lift them up towards his, the tears falling freely from her eyes, "You've bene going through it alone."
"He said he didn't love me." Clary blurted out quickly. "He-he said he did but he didn't want t-to be around me because of that girl and he basically sa-s-said I was annoying and couldn't be there for me and I hate it. I hate that he's making me feel this way. I h-hate that I can't stop thinking about it. I hate it so much! I can't take it. I want to hurt him, b-b-but I don't and I don't know what I need to do anymore. I-."
Raphael's arms tightened around her, a hand was placed on her head as it pushed her head to be placed under his chin. Clary could feel her heart beat faster; with the overwhelming sense of emotions and Raphael embracing her, she felt like she was dying. It was too much for her. "Clary, breathe. Focus on your breathing." She shut her eyes, trying to focus. In. Out. In. Out."That's it, there you go."
"What do I do." Clary's voice was small as she said her words, it was a cry for help. "Tell me what to do," she cried.
"I will but just let it all out for now," Raphael stated and the two stayed silent. Her crying and him comforting her.
Clary didn't know how long they were embraced for, but it didn't matter. She felt comfortable to be in someone's embrace, to feel someone was taking care of her in a way. It was nice and she didn't want it to end any time soon. But this was Raphael. He wasn't known to be such a softy or being the person that he was showing to her right now but they were basically strangers.
She wanted to get to know him. It was crazy but deep down, she wanted to know Raphael.
"Are you feeling a little better?" He asked her as he leaned back. Clary nodded and with that he let go of her, making her feel a bit sad from the loss.
"Thank you," she said shyly. There was a pause of silence. "Do you want to watch a movie?"
Raphael gave out a breathy laugh. "If that's what you want."
She walked back towards her bedroom with Raphael in tow, she was starting to feel awkward but once they reached her room, the awkwardness faded away.
"I didn't expect your room to be... dirty." She gave him a pointed look. Art supplies were spewed everywhere, canvases stacked in one corner of her room, and it was just a mess. An art mess.
"It's not dirty, it's just how it function in here with my art."
"Sure," he said and plopped down onto her bed. It amazed her how well he adapted to areas he's never been before, it was too casual for her. Clary grabbed her laptop and sat next to him. It was odd that she was going to watch a movie with Raphael.
After a small argument on what to watch, they had settled on an action movie. The two were propped up against the headboard as they watched but as the movie passed Clary couldn't concentrate on it. She wanted to ask Raphael why he agreed to this with her, why he was so obligated to helping her.
"You should pay attention or you'll get confused later," Raphael's voice took her out of her reverie, she turned to look at him to see he was watching her.
"Would it matter, I can rewatch it."
"I wouldn't like the idea of you not enjoying our little date." Clary's eyes widened.
"Date?"
"Did I stutter."
"This is not a date." A blush was starting to form on her face as she spoke to Raphael, who was composed. "We don't know each other for this to be considered a date."
"Then ask away." She must've looked really confused for him to state, "Questions. I'll answer them."
"Why are you doing this? You don't know me but you're planning all this to make Jace jealous but why. Are you trying to get something out of this?"
It took a while for him to reply, but she gave him his time before he answered her, "I have my reasons. I'll just say that I have my regrets to a situation similar to this and I couldn't help but feel like this was my opportunity to prove myself again." There was a look in his eyes that told a story of pain and sadness, a story that he wasn't going to tell her any time soon. "Also, I like games. Playing with blondie like this amuses me and maybe if it's to the point where we're really close," he leaned closer to her to whisper in her ear seductively, "we can have sex."
Clary pushed him away as far as she could from her, shocked at his words but also embarrassed by it. Raphael laughed as she tried to think of something to do but all she wanted to do was hide. "Are you embarrassed? Do you always get like this when someone wants to sleep with you," Raphael was smirking as he watched her reaction. Whatever that was on her face, it made him smile wider. "You've never slept with anyone have you?"
Kill me, just strike me down now to get me out of this. For some reason Clary decided to dive under her covers to hide herself from Raphael's view. It seemed childish but she didn't know what else to do. She was dreading her question, I should've asked what his favorite color was.
"Get out from under there," the bed shifted as he lay next to her, his head propped on his hand.
"No."
"Hermosa." His voice was playful and she caved in; dragging down the covers so that her eyes were the only thing in his view, Clary stared at Raphael. There was a mood, definitely a mood as they just looked at each other, but then his smile became warm and he muttered, "Cute." She glared at the word but he seemed to not notice as he grabbed the covers and dragged them off her face.
"I'm not having sex with you," she choked out.
"It could happen. You never know."
"I don't want to know."
"Are you sure?" Raphael asked her and pulled her closer to his body. And for some unknown reason, she let him. The feeling of his body was something Clary liked a lot, it was nice. "It could really onto the jealousy act if he figured out that we slept with each other."
"I rather not tell Jace about stuff like that."
"So you're not denying to sleeping with me then," she rolled her eyes at him.
"Didn't I just say we don't know each other, you're talking like I'll sleep with you just because you're... you." The thought of sleeping with Raphael was not on her priority list, she wasn't that type of person at all; being a virgin wasn't a problem but it was scary to think about losing it.
"Then let's get to know each other, we have all the time," Raphael looked down at her and she couldn't help but nod. "Ask away."
"Why'd you leave me on read."
"Uh- what are you..."
"Remember, a couple days ago I texted you and you left me on read. Why do you have to be that type of guy?" The question must've caught him off guard because he was having trouble answering.
"I was busy and forgot to reply back." He finally answered and she nodded.
"So you are that type of asshole."
Sorry if this is a bit messy, hopefully I can get back into my flow but I'll update soon when I get the chance. This time it won't be a whole month before i update (I won't make promises). thank you for reading.
Stay safe out there, wash your hands, and be happy!
