Vain
Chapter 17: Paper cut
Wendy's P.O.V.
I keep my breathing even. My eyes never leave Tammy's as we stare intently at each other. I shift my weight back and forth. Tammy swings first, I step to the side moving out of the path of her hand. I knock her hand to the side, raising my own hand as I send it barreling to her side. Hard. She doubles over for a second, but quickly recovers.
"Wow, Wendy, that kinda hurt." Tammy smirks.
Tammy lashes out again. Swinging again, this time with her left and her right, keeping me on my toes. My feet scuffling along the cement to avoid her blows. "Stop being a slippy bitch and Let. Me. Hit. You!" Tammy grunts.
I scoffed, dodging all the while. "Yeah, no. Fuck you," I spat.
"Yeah, I don't think so. Though, I came close to almost fuckin' Kenny once," Tammy replies snidely as if it's some sort of ground breaking achievement.
At the mention of Kenny's name coming out of Tammy's mouth stirred something in the pits of my stomach. While I thought my face had remained neutral, I was proven wrong by Tammy's comment, "Yeah…I gave him a blowjob too," she smirks knowingly. At the same time, Tammy catches me off guard as she sweeps her leg under mine and I'm sent sprawling to the pavement. She doesn't miss a beat as I feel her weight on top of me before the blows follow. I do my best to block, but hits get in.
It doesn't take long for me to taste copper.
Shit. I knew I needed flip the script otherwise this was gonna end up bad. Wendy if you're ever pinned to the ground, try your best to use your legs. I nodded internally. "Is that all you got, Wendy? Ha, are you even sure Kenny even loves you?" Tammy's breath is practically in my ear as I feel my body tingle with discomfort. "Slut!"
She growls as anger drips from her voice. "H-Ha, that's…rich coming from the residential school whore!" I snapped back. Tammy's once proud facial expression turned to one of unbridled rage. Oops, looks like I struck a nerve. All the while, sending a knee to Tammy's stomach. Tammy's large form buckled over. Finally giving me room to breathe.
Bitch.
As I got to my feet, I spit, blood flew out of my mouth splattering to pavement like Nickelodeon goo. "Ew!" came a sudden voice caused me to jump as my eyes shot over to them, only to be taken aback by the crowd that managed to amass itself. What the hell? I could vaguely make out some familiar faces in the crowd, from Butters small, yet seemingly scared form, to Clyde right next to him a look of utter glee plastered on his usually stoic lips, and to Craig and Tweek looking on in interest, Tweek clutching tightly onto Craig's arm.
God, this was gonna end up like last time. And this time, if I got caught I knew I wouldn't have the principal on my side. I couldn't stoop to their level, I didn't need to prove anything to anyone. Especially, not Red.
"No. You know what? I'm not doing this…"
"What?! Aw, c'mon!" Someone cries dejectedly. But I didn't give a shit at this point. "You know Red," I say my eyes finding hers as she currently glaring daggers at me, lips looking as though she'd just eaten the most sour lemon. "I'm not apologizing for what I said to you, you really are being a bitch. And this…" I glance over a Tammy who's slowly but surely collecting herself. "This only proves my point. You had to have Tammy of all people fight your problems for you? You know what I call that? Pathetic," I put emphasis on the word as I start walking away.
Sadly, I wasn't gonna get my way like I hoped just by saying no this time, it seemed. My hair is suddenly pulled back rather roughly. I'd forgotten to tie it up and now I was paying for it. A cry of pain escapes my lips. "And where in the hell do you think you're going? We ain't done here," Tammy's back in the game now it seems.
God, fuck my life.
"Tammy let me go," my tone holding an air of seriousness to it. I kept myself still as not to add more pain to my head then I was already experiencing and let me tell you that was a lot. Hair pulling, while annoying cliché in movies still hurt like a bitch regardless.
"You're gonna pay for what you just did." She seethes. Yanking me back a bit. I grunted, I decided to use what was being done to me against Tammy who was none the wiser. She yanked me back again, I used that momentum to then twist my body, thankfully yanking my hair hard out her grip, and the remaining momentum to cock her straight in her face, fuckin hard I might add. Blood gushed out of her nose like a broken faucet.
"Holy shit!" Someone exclaimed.
Tammy howls in pain. "S-She broke…m' fuckin' nose!" Tammy's hands now clutched her nose. It's quiet. Everyone clearly stewing in their own feelings about what just took place. I, on the other hand, was a hundred precent, unapologetically done. I took that as my cue and walked. Some of the crowd parting way as I decided to head inside and check on Kenny.
As I cruise through the rather large crowd my eyes find themselves landing on the last person so expected to see. Stan… for once his expression is unreadable, blank. Stan's expressions were practically painted on his face, but this time—It was as though I were staring a something lifeless. A robot. I shiver as I intentionally pull my eyes from his.
I let out a sharp breath. Trying my best to push the small interaction I just had with Stan to the back of my mind, even if I knew that was going to be hard. Once I made it inside away from any prying eyes. It was just me and an empty hallway. Which in its own way a a blessing in disguise. I let everything that just took place catch up with me.
"Fuck…" I collapse against the cold and unforgiving wall behind me. Due to the adrenaline that had once coursed through my body slowly beginning to fade as my face hurt like hell. Damn…! I was pretty sure that my face was gonna look shitty as hell later if it didn't already. Eventually, once I'm as collected as I can be given what just happened I was in front of the nurses office. I slowly pull the door open, the nurse is nowhere in site was she on lunch break or something?
"Hey, Wends wanna paint new like one of your French girls?" comes a snarky comment that has me immediately rolling my eyes. "Holy shit wends, what the fuck?" Kenny instantaneously bounding off the cot and coming over to me. I give a small smirk, in hopes that would hide the pain. "Trust me, it coulda been worse." His hands is cool to the touch, I can't help but find myself leaning in.
"Who was it?" His words hiding a hidden edge to them.
"Would you believe me if I told you it was Tammy Warner?"
"Tammy?! The actual fuck? What reason would she have to do this?" He says running a soft finger under my bruised right eye, I flinched.. "Well, apparently, she doesn't like the fact that we're together for one and neither does Red for that matter…" I mutter that last part.
"Red? Just what in the actual hell?" Kenny seemed utterly perplexed by the notion that Red would want anything to do with him, let alone come after me for it.
"On the bright side. I broke her nose."
"Nose, you mean Tammy?" I nod, smirk resting firmly on my lips. "Fuck yeah I did. Bitch decided she wanted to pull my hair and I warned her to let go…but she just didn't wanna Listen. I'm pretty sure, I'll end up in the office sometime later today."
"Yeah, well if you do, it was all in self defense. So… I don't see why the principal would be upset with you about it. I nodded in agreement, "True. But something tells me matter how this thing goes, it gonna be hell either way."
"Yeah…well… not if I have anything to say about it," Kenny clings to my small form like mother bound Koala. "Ken…don't go trying to do something stupid, okay?" I warned, giving him a knowing expression. He looked back at me gaining shock, "What me? No. I'm not gonna—" he starts to say, but I pulled my hand off of him and to my hips. "I'm serious, Ken." I gave him a knowing glare as he knew I was serious. "Okay, okay. I don't like it, but I promise," he holds he hands up defensively.
"Good. Now, while I'd kill to get myself checked out. I'd also rather not be here for whenever Tammy's brought in here. So I suggest we—" I start to say, but it looks like I was a little to late on the draw as not only does the nurse decide to come back in at this exact moment, but Tammy and Red are right behind her. Oh, what are the damn chances!
"Ah, Ms. Testaburger, just the person I wanted to see." Her eyes bore into me, like I was her kid and just broke a prized vase of hers. I shrink back. "Ms. Testaburger is it true that you are the one that broke Ms. Warner's nose?"
I open my mouth in an attempt to say something, only for it to be silenced by Red's sudden outburst. "Yes, it was her! She did it, you can ask anyone outside!"
I sigh, "Yes. I did. But in my defense, I wasn't the one that started it."
"Is that so?" The nurses eyes glancing between both Tammy and I. "I see." With that, she drops the matter. "McCormick," her voice stern as I notice Kenny jump at the sound of his name being called. "Yes?" He questions. "You seem to be fine, so you and Red can go.
Kenny willing nods. Thanks to Wendy's efforts he was feeling by far better than earlier. And while he could feel the nightmare resting in the back of his mind ready to spring at what felt like any moment to immobilize him. But right now he was calmer then he'd felt since the incident. "But—!" Red tried to argue, but Kenny was quick on the draw by grabbing her arm and tugging her out of the room, smiling all the while.
He also managed to give me a wink for good measure.
Tammy was told to sit on the bed across from mine. It didn't help that the vibe she continued to give off was one with the clear intent to murder.
I sighed, this was turning out be a great day indeed.
Kenny's P.O.V.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Cut the shit, Red."
"A-And why do you care, huh?"
My laugh is dry, almost manic sounding to my ears. It must have also struck a cord with Red as I notice as she recoils a bit in the process. "Oh, well… maybe… this is all hypothetical so hear me out… you pitted my Ex and current girlfriend against one another, I don't know! That might have something to do with it!" I exclaim not missing a beat. "But what the hell do I know, right?"
"Y-Yeah, well…" Red starts to say, but doesn't it's clear she doesn't really know how to phrase what she wants to say. "What? What could you actually say to—"
"What the hell does she have that I don't, huh?" The words come out like the sudden roar of thunder in a storm. "W-what?" I couldn't help but look at her as though she'd grown two heads. "You can't be serious right now… Red you can't just—"
"Answer me!"
"And say what? "I love you?" Or I'm sorry I didn't notice you had feelings for me? As far as I'm concerned you don't deserve shit from me."
The tears were beginning to shine on the edge of her brown orbs. "Fuckin' water works, really? Grow up. Red."
I know to an outsider I probably sounded like a real tool at the moment, but I didn't care. I scoffed as I began to walk away I had better things to do then deal with bullshit petty jealousy. Only for me to be immediately stopped by a hard pull on my wrist. I swivel my body around, my face a mirror of unbridled anger.
"What—" but before I even had the chance to tell her to let go, I felt her lips make contact with mine. The fuck?!
My whole body felt as though it were on fire. My limbs seized up, or that's what it felt like. Brain function felt practically nonexistent. It wasn't until I felt her tongue glide over my lips, and I….
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" I couldn't help but asked as we continued our quiet walk home, our fingers laced in a cocoon of warmth. It was starting to get chilly outside, I had no doubt that at this point snow was gonna begin raining down maybe a week or two from now. "H-Hey instead of heading home, why don't we head to Tweak Bros." I hope that'll gauge her interest and get her mind off the events of today. Thankfully, Wendy being the angel she was takes the bate without question. "Yeah, sure. Plus if we buy extra cookies we can take some to Karen its been a while since we've seen each other. "
"Y-Yeah, I'm sure she'd like that."
She looked up at me. Smile as radiant and bright as the damn sun.
Goddamnit!
My thoughts continued to be frazzled. My thoughts felt like a random assortment of puzzle pieces scattered to the winds to be left adrift. God, I couldn't do this.
"—en, Hey, Ken… you've been quiet for a while now, you okay?" Wendy's words dripping with concern. I could feel my throat constricting as I tried to say words that I knew weren't going to come.
Just tell her! C'mon, you're in a commented relationship, you've gotta at least be honest, right?
"H-Huh, oh yeah…I'm—" but my I could feel my throat closing up once more. Instinctively, my hands bawled up as I was suddenly finding it hard to breath. Voices sounded a thousand times louder than normal and my head felt like it was gonna explode. "I-I really need to use the bathroom!" I exclaimed. Wasting absolutely no time in getting away from the table and Wendy's presence that would usually lull me into such a state of security, that being around her was like being wrapped in the warmest blanket imaginable….
"FUCK!"
The faucet water is cool against my skin, for just a fraction of a moment if feels as though I can breath again. A moment; that leaves just as quietly as it comes. Bile is swift to follow as I swivel around quickly enough to reach thankfully the empty stall behind me. The smell is rancid and raw as it irrupts from my throat and into the toilet's porcelain bowl. This goes on for a undermined amount of time, but by the time my body's decided nothing is left, I feel utterly drained, not to mention, my throat is unbelievably raw and my breath taste like marmite. Chunks of bile are unabashedly flushed down into the sewers to eventually be food for the fishes. With my body feeling drained of energy, I barely manage to stand, needing to hold onto the door rather hard before pulling myself into a proper position. I guess in the end, I'll take this over… The memory is like a shock to my system, as though someone grabbed my head and dunked in it arctic waters, I involuntarily shiver. For a split second, my stomach rumbles and I'm quick glance over at the toilet, but the feeling I got just as easily subsides, letting me know that my stomach truly has nothing left to give; and for once I'm grateful.
By the time I make it back to the familiar layout of the coffee shop, It's littered heavily with more people than I ever thought possible. I wonder what the maximum capacity is in here… I could vaguely make out Tweek running back and forth like a jackrabbit on speed as he tried his best to complete order after order that seemed to keep coming relentlessly. Clyde is holding down the register and by "holding it down" I mean flirting with every other girl that isn't an adult before and after taking their order. "Hang in there Tweek," I mumbled as I squeezed through the rather thick line of customers to my table. God, am I glad I'm not claustrophobic.
"Welcome back," Wends greets back giving a stout wave and soft smile.
Guilt straddles my heart like a vice. It doesn't take long for my movement to feel like quicksand. "Let me guess, you had to go number two?" Wendy whispers jokingly as I drop into the chair as though carrying a weight, my chair even slides back in response and I have to take a second to readjust. I'm so preoccupied with fixing my chair that it takes a bit for my brain to filter through what Wendy had just said. Heat climbs to my cheeks. This causes an angelic giggle across from me. Though, being the person I am, I can't very well admit that Wendy's got me flustered. "Wow, Wends, I'can't believe you're so dirty minded," I japed, this in turn causes her cheeks to go scarlet, too.
"Well played, McCormick, well played," she says, clearly conceding defeat.
"Hey, you challenged master, don't expect me to not pull any punches."
"H-Here you g-guys are." The sudden intrusion of Tweek's voice catches of both somewhat off guard as we glance over to see him with tray housing a plate of cookies and two cups of hot chocolate. He places the tray down as carefully as he can. "E-Enjoy!" He practically squeaks before scurrying back behind the counter and getting back to more orders. "Thanks, Tweek my man," I give a two-finger salute. I think I vaguely see him acknowledge what I said with a small nod, but I can't really see through the dense line of customers.
I grab my hot chocolate off the tray, letting the heat of the cup worm its way from my fingertips to the ends of my toes. I pull the top off the cup giving the warm, chocolatey beverage a few blows every few seconds. Once I deemed it viable to drink I bring the cup to my lips. The sweet chocolate goodness warms my inside almost immediately. "Ah, it's so good!" I exclaim giddily as my taste buds are definitely pleased.
"Right? I don't really talk to Mrs. Tweak, there's no denying she sure can make some hot chocolate and bake the best cookies," Wends chimes in.
"Yeah, you think we can ask Tweek for the recipe?"
Wendy glances over at the counter in which Tweek is still dishing out orders, this time not as rapidly as before as the sudden influx of customers had thankfully slowed down somewhat. Wendy shrugs, "Possibly, but it'd probably be better to ask when he's not so swamped an has some time to cool down." I nod. The cookies we ordered still have some steam to them as I yank two off the plate and onto a napkin. "Hey, Ken?"
"Hm…"
"You don't have to wait up for me tomorrow after school. I've got detention with Mr. Mackey."
"Wait, seriously?"
"Yeah, Tammy got suspended for three days, due to principal Victoria understanding that I was fighting in self-defense. But she still wasn't at all happy that we both were fighting in the first place."
"Well, damn."
"Eh, it coulda been worse." She shrugs before taking a second a long and hardy sip of her hot coco. "Sooooo, good!" She hums.
I continue to nibble on my cookie. Part of me still hesitant to fully indulge in fully chocolatey goodness due to my little stunt in the bathroom not even minutes or so earlier.
I watched as Wendy went into her backpack and pulled out a book and placed it on the table. "Wow am I really such a bore to you, my love?" I question, though a playful smirk is plastered on my lips that manages to go unnoticed. Wendy is quick to look up, flustered. God, I really, really don't deserve you, do I…
"O-Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off rude, but I—" she tries to explain herself, but her words are getting the better of her and she's practically tripping over her sentences, like a kid trips over their shoelaces when they aren't tied properly. Beyond cute, seriously. I shake my head, "I'm just fuckin' with you Wends. I quite enjoy that you're a bookworm, I think it's not only an admirable quality., but unbelievably adorable in fact." I got up from my side of the table and plopped over to Wendy's side of the booth. "Can you read to me?"
"W-Wait you mean like right here?" I watch as her eyes dart around worriedly to people around her. "Please," I plead giving her my best impression of puppy dog eyes. "I promise you Wends, no one cares," I said, my eyes following her lead as I see a guy typing away at their laptop, sipping leisurely a cup resting to their left at the table they were sitting at. A table away, there were two women chatting away as though their lives depended on it. "Yeah, I don't think they're gonna care. Please…" I worked my best puppy-eyed stare.
She glanced at me, "Damn you and your puppy dog eyes. You rarely use those on me, too," she mumbles, a smile placates her lips. And with that, starts reading… Wendy's voice is like a bell as she recites the words on the page. It honestly felt as though, I was being read a bed time story… it was calming. My mind for the first time today felt calm, less chaotic.
Lips collided with mine. Unfamiliar, unwanted. I know I should pull away, but I don't. Sweet poison is what I taste. From this moment on, I no longer feel in control of my body. Though my mind is screaming like a broken alarm.
Cheater.
You enjoyed it..
Cheater.
You don't lover her.
Cheater.
She'll leave you.
Cheater.
And when that happens, then what?
Cheater.
She'll leave.
Cheater.
Stan was right.
Cold sweat permeates my body, Its feels like I'm tapped in a gross cocoon. Darkness blankets my room as I barely registers the cold white celling above me. The rest of the day seemingly went by in an unregistered blur as I don't remember walking home, let alone falling asleep. Though in an odd way I guess that's a blessing in disguise. Being in my own head right now was not somewhere I really wanted to be. I slowly sit up. Karen isn't with me tonight it seems. I sigh, I couldn't take a shower sadly, but I could at least get a drink of water. And so I do just that. My feet hit the cold carpet shuffling along to my door. Cold hits my sweat covered limbs on impact as I involuntarily shiver. Shit, its cold as hell in here! Not that I can be surprised, we don't really have best heating system. If I'm being honest, I think its broken, and Dad would rather have us practically freezing our asses off than have proper heating. Asshole. I can barely make out Kevin and Karen's sleeping forms on the couch due to the intense darkness, but a smile creeps onto my face all the same. I make it to the kitchen. There's already what I presume to be a clean cup. Not that it mattered.
I slowly turn the faucet on, hoping and praying that the noise isn't enough to stir anyone that's asleep. Thankfully, it isn't and I manage to get my water uninterrupted. I'm more thirsty than I realize as I chug the water without so much as taking a breath causing me to almost choke. I manage to breath through my nose and quell my choking fit. Once all my water is gone I put the cup back where I got it from.
My body slumps to the freezing floor below my feet. My skin feels itchy and not my own as I scratch away at cold skin. I don't want to think, but the memory is like a phantom pain that won't let me forget.
Bile fluctuates from my stomach to my throat like a broken seesaw, up, down, up, down. It's agonizing, but I'm not throwing up, so that was a plus all things considered. I found myself resting my head on my knees. "God, this fuckin' sucks…" I murmured.
At some point I nodded off into a dreamless sleep. Only to be greeted, by a sharp kick to my legs the next morning. Because, no we can't just wake people up normally in my house. "Get up, Dingus. W-What the hell are you doing sleeping on the floor?" The words dripping with unadulterated annoyance. "Fuck you, too," I drawl words still littered with sleep. My body slowly rising off the cold floor. I tried my best to rub the sleep from my eyes. But my eyes were continuously wrapped in a veil of hazy images. "L-Leave me alone." I murmured. Sleep had it's tight hold on me as I could feel myself drifting off again. "Ugh, I swear little bro.." semi-warm hands wrap themselves around my torso. "Hmm… warm." I snuggle into the warmth. Arms cradling me bridle-style. "Ow's your wound?" I murmured.
"What? I can barely hear you, Ken—" in my sleepily haze I lifted a finger and gave his stomach a soft poke. His steps falter, "Stomach… genius…"
"I will drop you," he threatened, but there was no real bite behind it. "Hmm… you don't mean that…" a soft chuckle left my lips. "Hmm…" was his only response. We made it back to my room and my brother put me down. By this point, I was somewhat more coherent and awake. Which didn't go unnoticed by Kevin as a small scowl rested on his lips. "W-What the—did you just use me to carry to your room?" He questioned, seemingly annoyed.
"Hmm, did I?" I replied through a hefty yawn. "You suck," he grumbled. "Yeah, but you love me," I smirked. He rolled his eyes, a smirked rested on his lips as well. I then patted the spot next to me, "sit," I said. His sharp grey irises glance at me wearily. "It been almost a month since I stitched you up, let me see what it looks like, sheesh," he slowly sits down, the bed creaks and dips under the added weight. Another yawn rolls from my lips as I slowly pull up my brothers shirt. "Hmm… it looks better…" the scar was still somewhat red, but all things considered, the scar had healed over quite well.
"It looks good. So we can take the stitches out later tonight."
"W-wait, what?" Kevin swallowed hard, face is paler than a sheet. "Yeah, genius. Did you think the stitches were just supposed to stay in?" Kevin's lips form a thin line as if he's thinking of what to say. Ultimately, he sighs in defeat, "This is going to hurt isn't it?"
"Honestly, not as bad as when I stitched you up that night. And not be the bearer of bad news…"
"Yeah, and what's that?"
"Even if it's not really gonna hurt that bad, I'm pretty sure… dad and mom drank all the booze… So…." At that news… Kevin was practically blue, it honestly scared the ever-loving shit outta me. "Kevin…Kev… breathe, dude. Come on, I promise, you'll be fine." I grab his shoulder in comfort. He let out a dry laugh before running a hand through his hair, "Fuuuuck. I—okay, I guess I can do this," he says clearly more to himself than to me. "Yep, you can… and you don't really have a choice," I receive a hard unapologetic punch to my shoulder. "Shit! Ow, okay. Joke not well received."
"I'll come back later tonight."
"Yeah, okay."
With our plans settled, Kevin gets up, the beat-up old mattress gained some buoyancy from the current lack of weight. "Oh, yeah, Ken?"
"Hmm…" I had already started busying myself with picking at some random stain on my bed as I glance up at him. "Why were you sleeping out on the floor in the kitchen anyway?" Such an innocent question, with an equal innocent answer and yet, I can't bring myself to say the truth. .
"No reason, really." Picking at the stain even more so as if that will it to go away. Blue and gray irises steady each other. I swallow slowly, it's clear he doesn't believe my answer, but for my sake he doesn't press me.
Kevin starts to walk away to only once again stop himself. Our eyes lock, Kevin brows furrow and for once his face is unreadable. "Kevin, keep thinking like that long enough and I'm pretty sure your brain is gonna explode," I chuckle. Kevin wastes no time flicking me off, I stick my tongue out and flick him off.
Wendy's P.O.V.
"Ow." Nurses treatment or not, my face was undoubtedly sore as hell. Not to mention my mom did not take what happened to me—well… "Wendy… what happened to you—" I walk into the house, tired and in pain.
"It's not a big deal, don't freak out," I said, really not in the mood for my mom's known hysterics. "D-Don't freak out? Wendy you look like you—" but before she could finish, I thrust the far more damning detention slip in front of her with not much fanfare. And at this point, if looks could kill… whelp.
"Wendy, detention? Is everything okay?" Her eyes holding an air of sadness and disappointment. "Yeah, mom everything's fine, I promise." I say giving a smile. I watch her expression morph from something blank, hurt, sadness, and what felt like utter betrayal. "Look, mom, I—" but she only turned her back on me. I could feel anger bubbling in the depths of my chest. "I had one bad day, mom it's not like I—Like, I'm doing something illegal," I try to reason. The silence claims the room, this really wasn't my day, was it?
"Wendy… I need to know the truth… no lies, no bullshit." She seemed disgusted by the word 'bullshit' like some juvenile kid whose never said a swear word in their life. God, while Butters was innocent in a lot of areas cussing managed to not be one of them. Now that she had said what she needed to say, my mom had the will to face me it seemed. Her usual soft brown eyes held a certain steeliness to them that I only ever saw when my mother either wanted my father to do something he tried to weasel his way out of doing, or if she were really passionate about something.
I'd been told by my dad, that I too had that same steeliness in my eyes as well on occasion so I knew I'd pretty much lost. Checkmate, nice play mom.
"Okay… I'll tell you, but you're not gonna like it." I informed. "Oh, well we'll see won't we?" Even as those strong imposing words left my mother's mouth, her body language managed to betray her to a degree by telling a different story. She was tense, that much was for sure. And she swallowed slowly to boot. Her eyes never left my form.
Well… it's now or never...
"I—Got into a fight…"
"A fight? Wendy, why? Don't you remember what happened last time you got into a fight? You were lucky the first time that principal Victoria let you off with just a write up—but this… now you have detention. And whose to say, this won't go on your permanent record and effect you down the line when you apply to college?"
"It was self-defense, mom."
"Oh, so that makes it better? This—"
"M-makes it better—mom! I already said it's not a big deal. I serve the detention that's it."
"How would you know that Wendy? You're just a kid you need to start understanding that—"
"No. Stop. Don't even finish whatever you're gonna say. This is why I didn't want to even tell you, I hate it when you act like this!"
"Act like what? A mom worried about her daughter's wellbeing?"
"No. Not even close! All you care about is my future mom! That's all you and dad ever see! Well, I'm more than just my future! What about how I'm feeling right now, huh?! Do you even give a shit about now?"
"Wendy, watch your—"
"You and dad are barely home! You care more about this podunk community than me!"
"Wendy Eliza Testaburger! You know that's not true!"
"Yeah? Well prove it mom, right now. Tell three things about me that show that you really know me."
At this ultimatum, my mother visibly paled. I could practically see the sweet forming on her brow as she really had to give it some thought. "Well…" I said, foot tapping rather audibly as I patiently waited. For a fraction of a moment, her lips slightly parted only for her lips press in a thin line and her jaw to go slack. That was all the confirmation I needed.
"Yeah. Love you too, mom." Words cold and bitter. I silently adjust my backpack on my shoulder and tug the detention slip roughly out of her hand, walking past while not even so much as sparing a glance in my mother's direction and heading up to my room.
I collide with the warm embrace of my bed, bag long discarded in a heap on the floor. My head finding comfort in my pillow as I do the only thing I can do as I feel both tears and pure anger rising like a storm ready to unleash all manner of hell on unsuspecting victims. I scream. Scream, scream, scream and scream… thankfully, having the hindsight to use my pillow to muffle my cries of anguish. For once in my life I truly feel like a child. And for once, I really don't care.
My screams die out, my throat feels hot and raw. And I was pretty sure my eyes were puffy and I looked how I felt. Like a bag of shit.
I slowly sit up, taking in how quite the house is at the moment. God… My face aches like you wouldn't believe as I slowly get up, almost tripping over my backpack and shuffling out into the hallway to the bathroom. Yep, I was right I looked like utter shit.
I lie on my bed. phone resting comfortably in my hand as continue to stare at the dimly lit screen tapping, browsing, and closing apps at sporadic intervals before ultimately pulling up my texts and pulling up Kenny's name.
Hey… wanna hang out later I—
I shook my head.
-Deleted-
Hey, Ken I wanted to talk if that's—
-Deleted-
God, no… it sounds like I'm trying to break up with him… ugh!
I backed out of my chat log with Kenny only to find myself drawn to Butters of all people. We haven't really interacted since the time at the fair, but… I sighed.
Hey Butters do you want to hang out? I kinda need some to talk to. Heh, is this too foreword?
-Delivered-
-Read 12:55 -
Hey Wendy… this is… sudden. Lol. But yeah, I don't mind, where do you want to meet?
-Read 1:01-
How's the park sound?
-Delivered-
-Read 1:12-
Yeah, Sure :) see ya then!
I sighed. I don't know what I expected to happen if anything at all, but I honest to god felt I needed someone impartial and out of everyone and Butter was the only one qualified to fit that bill oddly enough. And so. Against constant aching of my face and my current state of questioning emotional stability. I went to go essentially lean on a poor unsuspecting Butters.
The warm wind whips at our exposed backs and hair as blonde and black streaks of hair blow freely without a care in the world. God, I don't know what the hell I was thinking… this is going exactly like I thought It was going to go. I take a sharp intake of breath before quickly exhaling.
"So…"
Butters breaks the growing silence first. "What is it you wanted it to talk about, Wendy? A-and not that I want to sound… rude, but… how am I supposed to h-help?" A soft chuckle escapes my lips. Butters really was all around sweet guy. "Butters how is it you don't have a girlfriend?" I ask genuinely. "H-Huh?! I-I…" Butters stammers, flustered, cheeks an adorable rosy red. "I'm serious Butters, you really are a sweet guy." And I meant it.
"W-Well… I dunno," Butters words soft as he bumps his knuckles together out of habit. "I guess… I just haven't found the person for me?" He gives me a small half smile. "Hmm, is that so?" Butters gives a curt nod. "Yeah, well, I think whoever ends up with you is gonna be one lucky gal. If you don't mind me saying." I say, gaze drifting whatever catches my eye.
"Thanks Wendy…"
Quite takes ahold of us both once again.
"I'm sorry Butters—I just… I haven't been having the best day and I—"
"Needed someone to vent to?"
"Yeah—pretty much. I didn't want to talk to Kenny, not to say he wouldn't work. But… If you want to leave and go about your day I totally get it and I'm not—"
"No. I think I'll stay. I'm helping out a friend. What kind of person would I be if I just left."
My gaze fully landed on Butters as a sincere smile made its way to my lips. "W-What?' He questions, flustered. "Nothing," I smile. And so, we talked. It was fun, it was teasing at times (more from me) Butters was really just to cute I couldn't help myself. But Butters didn't judge he just listened. Only really commenting where he thought he had something insightful to share. And he proved to be quite the therapist.
"My parents aren't the best either sometimes. They ground me a for a lot of stupid stuff. Either stuff I know I shouldn't be doing, but a lot of the time It come from Cartman and I end up taking the rap for it."
"That's not fair Butters! Why don't you just—" before I could get the words out he is pulling at the hem of his jacket. "B-Butters what are you—" my breath is caught in my throat. My body feels hollow, I feel a layer of disgust ripple through me and while I know I should look away, I find I can't either out of pity or a morbid fascination of what's being shown to me.
The scar is jagged as though it were made by a lightening bolt. It trails from the base of his right arm all the way to his shoulder. "He—he hadn't meant to do it!" He quickly defended. "My dad… sometimes his anger it—It's like a raging bull. There are times where—where all he can see is red and—" Butters breath hitches, his eyes are shut tight, while his arms wrapped around himself like a lifeline.
He swallows slowly, "It was my fault. I pushed him to it. I kept asking I-I… I didn't see it building behind his eyes, behind his false smile…" his voice wavers, "I still remember the smell of the blood… so pungent, nauseating. I'd felt the need to pass out then and there, but the shock and fear kept me from even doing so. Can you imagine?"
But I couldn't, let alone did I want to. To hear this from Butters of all people felt like being pushed into a freezing lake from behind. And so, I did the only thing I could think of that would offer even the smallest modicum of comfort, I grabbed his hand and gave it the warmest squeeze I could.
I could see it before I heard it. Tears; full and thick cascading down his cheeks. It was as though a dam broke. One that no one, not even Butters closest friends knew was there. The sound of hiccups and sniffles were like gun shots to my heart. How how much does Butters bottle up? How long has he been like this? What if it hadn't been me? Would he have even said anything?
"I-I'm Sorry Wendy… I was supposed to be helping you a-and—"
"no."
The sudden serious in my voice caused him to jump. "W-wha—" but I didn't let him finish, I pulled up part of my jacket sleeve so that it was covering part of my hand and without second thought began wiping away stray tears. "Don't apologize. Don't you even think about apologizing. Ever," my words calm. Butters body still racked with sobs and the occasional hiccup. But he was slowly calming down.
"Butters?"
"Y-yes, Wendy?"
"Can I give you a hug?"
Hesitation and guilt flash across his face as he gives a slight smile. I wrap my arms around him full force. "I'm here for you Butters. Don't forget that okay?"
"I-I won't Wendy. Thank you."
