Quick Author's Note: I do apologize for this story popping to the top and the new chapter nonsense. I'm hoping that I'll have an end in sight sooner than later :-)
Tay watched as David met with the girl she'd seen Spot sitting next to earlier and both headed down the street, clearly dejected. The theater lights had gone dark and the few newsies not caught up by the cops or the hired thugs had begun to wander off to find shelter for the night. There had been little to no talk about what to do next as the leader of the strike had been carted off into the night with a majority of the newsies alongside him. Those who were left behind wandered back to their respective boroughs while others remained out on the streets, seemingly unsure of where to go or what to do next. Tay felt torn between returning to Brooklyn or running like hell for the nearest train station. She'd memorized nearly every schedule for passage out of the city, whether by train or boat and her mind spun as the names of cities crowded into her thoughts. She knew where Spot kept his money and before they'd even released him from jail she could be free. For a brief moment Tay felt almost giddy, imagining what life might be like if she took the opportunity that was right in front of her. How many times had she tried to tell Spot about how much she hated him, how much she hated their small life, how many times had she pictured it burning to the ground around them? It was nothing but lies.
It wasn't the first time she'd been left alone without Spot. There had been plenty of nights when she'd wake to find the space next to her in the bed empty. Days when he would disappear or even whole weeks in the winter time when he stayed at the lodge house and she remained hidden behind the walls of the nearest convent, feeling safe in the fact that boys weren't allowed. It wasn't as though that had ever stopped him. He'd seek her out eventually; leaving money or some trinket or marks across her skin that would prove she was still his, that she would never be free of him. There were even the most pathetic of times when she would seek him out, driven half-mad by loneliness and knowing he was the only one she believed could console her.
"I'm not quite sure what you're used to but you are not getting anywhere near my nice, clean sheets looking or smelling like that." The older woman held a bar of soap aloft and pointed it toward Tay as she eyed the ratty boy's clothing Tay had used as a (failed) disguise earlier that evening. Tay took half a step backward and readied herself to run when she bumped into someone.
"Don't worry, Ms. Nolan. I'll take care of the new girl." Tay turned to see one of the girls she'd walked over to Manhattan with earlier standing behind her in the washroom. Her given name was Lucy but most everyone just referred to her as 'Finn's girl' which happened to a majority of the female newsies in Brooklyn. Some of the boys had a new girl nearly every other week so it was hard to remember most of their names but Lucy had stuck around for long enough that she was one of the few people Tay knew enough to talk to on occasion. Lucy was clearly at ease with the normal routine at the shelter but Tay didn't feel the slightest bit relaxed. She'd only ever stayed in such places during the winter and that night was her first time inside the mission's walls by choice.
"Didn't think you'd show up," Lucy mentioned as she leaned back against the sinks and eyed Tay critically. Ms. Nolan had apparently decided Lucy was worth trusting and had headed back downstairs to the lobby. "But I guess with Spot locked up and half the boys with 'em, the docks ain't exactly a safe place to stay right now."
"Sure," Tay agreed half-heartedly. The truth was there was no way she was going to be able to face returning to that room out at the waterfront after everything that had happened that night. When Lucy had first proposed the idea of staying at the shelter Tay had scoffed but eventually the reality of her situation sunk in and she found herself in her current predicament.
"You know, if I was you and I was gonna go, I'd go now while there weren't no way to stop me."
"Go where?" Tay asked in confusion as she looked around.
"Outta here, away, out west, up to Boston, wherever," Lucy answered. She studied Tay for a moment before shaking her head, almost in disbelief. "You do want to get away from him, right? 'Cause you'd be outta your mind to stay."
"No," Tay lied quickly. It was an almost involuntary response as she naturally assumed that Spot was behind Lucy's question or that he'd somehow eventually find out that she'd been thinking of leaving. A shudder ran over her as she thought about the last time he'd even suspected she was trying to leave. Standing there knowing he was on his way to jail didn't make it any easier for her to consider what would inevitably happen when he got out and dealt with the fact that she had ignored his rules, again. Tay edged closer to the door. She was not going to stay here, that was for sure.
"Suit yourself," Lucy shrugged. She laid a simple nightshirt on the shelf above the sinks. "Towels are there and here's something to sleep in."
"I got clothes already," Tay pointed out as she held tight to the strap of the bag hanging across her body and eyed the tub full of water apprehensively. "And I ain't getting in there so you can tell that lady all I paid for was a bed and that's all I want."
"They got rules here and you ain't gonna pass bedcheck if you don't get cleaned up," Lucy explained. She reached out but Tay shied away defensively. "It's not like any of us don't have things to hide so that's nothing new. A few bruises or scars ain't gonna scare anyone."
"It ain't that," Tay told her, feeling the panic rise in her throat. The air in the room felt heavy and she wished with all her heart that she'd just stayed out on the streets or listened to her gut when it told her to run for the hills while she still had the chance. "I just need to get some sleep, okay?"
"It's just water, it won't kill you, doll," Lucy answered.
It had to have been on purpose, there was no other reason in Tay's mind for Lucy to have used that particular epithet. It was all too much for her to deal with, the whispering from other girls, the invasion of privacy, listening to some girl she barely knew use Spot's nickname for her. There was no trust, no sense of camaraderie with these girls and Tay didn't think she could deal with another minute inside the walls of that mission. It wasn't until Lucy reached for Tay's bag of belongings that Tay finally snapped. Next thing she knew she'd found herself locked in the isolation room, unsure of exactly what had happened and feeling fairly sure that whatever she'd done, it was nothing compared to what Spot would do when he finally came home.
"Well don't you look cheerful." Spot glared at the blonde girl who dared intrude as he sat recovering from his night in jail in a dingy pub. She looked familiar but he couldn't quite place her face. He knew some of the female newsies didn't even bother with names, preferring to be called 'so-and-so's girl' instead. Pathetic.
"Not interested," Spot told her brusquely. The girl twirled a lock of hair around her index finger and smiled flirtatiously despite his clear dismissal. She helped herself to the barstool next to him and took a seat far too close for his comfort.
"I'm supposed to deliver a message to you about your precious little bird. It turns out she won't be joining you for awhile."
"What are you talking about?"
"It was a big scene at the mission last night. She threw some fit and almost got herself thrown out on the streets but lucky for her Lucy talked Ms. Nolan into letting her stay but-"
Fucking hell. Spot shoved his chair backward and made his way through the raucous crowd, leaving the girl still sitting at the bar. He hadn't expected Tay to show up voluntarily after the scene at Irving Hall but her disturbance at the mission was not something he had planned for. The building was fairly quiet as he approached, bypassing the main entrance for the side door along the alleyway. An older woman answered his knock and he recognized her from the brief amount of time he'd spent inside the mission classroom in his youth.
"I had a feeling I'd see you today, Liam," Ms. Nolan commented while leading him through the kitchen and laundry areas to the lobby. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and frowned slightly as she turned toward him. "You know we've always been fairly flexible about our rules here. I do seem to recall you doing your best to break any number of them while you attended school here but I'm afraid we cannot look the other way this time."
"What'd she do?" Spot asked bluntly as he prepared himself to hear Tay accused of any number of offenses.
Ms. Nolan placed her hand on the banister and made her carefully up the narrow staircase. Spot followed her up to the bunkroom on the third floor and was surprised to see her lead him to a room that had, back in the day, been reserved for kids suffering from illnesses. Spot listened carefully but other than Ms. Nolan's slightly heavy breathing from the climb he didn't hear another sound.
"I'm assuming the young woman is a friend of yours?"
"Something like that," Spot admitted.
"Your friend arrived late last night and I'm afraid to say she was improperly attired and wasn't at all receptive to the regulations we have here. I left her in the care of one of our regular girls, Lucy, who provided most of my information regarding what happened last night. Lucy did her best to negotiate the situation but your friend refused to cooperate and I'm afraid there was quite a scene. I did my best to get the situation under control but it was reported to us that Tay had a knife hidden among her possessions and as we do not allow weapons here, the situation had to be addressed" Ms. Nolan paused and Spot saw both kindness and worry in her eyes as she took a key from her pocket and handed it to Spot. "Perhaps you should talk to Tay about the rest."
The older woman gave him a small smile and headed back down the hallway, leaving Spot wondering just what he was going to find behind that door. He gathered his nerve and opened the door just in time for a shard of pottery to just miss his head.
"Some people just say 'hello'," Spot joked as he entered the room, closing and locking the door behind him. The floor around his feet was a mess, littered with pieces of broken pottery, glass, and bits of paper. Tay was curled up on the floor in the far corner of the room and sat there fretfully biting at her fingernails. She pressed herself further back against the wall as Spot crossed the room and knelt in front of her. Tay's hair hung down into her face and he noticed that she was trembling, whether out of fear or exhaustion he wasn't sure. Spot took her left hand in his and turned it over, examining the series of cuts and scratches before doing the same with her right hand.
"Anna." At the sound of her given name Tay drew back but Spot held onto her hands, gently rubbing the tips of her fingers. It was an old habit and one that she had always found soothing before. Seeing the distant look in her eyes as she struggled to overcome the darkness reminded him too much of what Tay had been like in the Refuge. It had taken him months to reach her after that and he wasn't looking forward to going through it all over again. He slowly inched his way closer to her until they were sitting knee to knee and kept her hands in his.
"They took everything," Tay said quietly. She kept her eyes turned down toward the floor and the pain in her voice was clear. "I didn't even do anything with that stupid knife, I just…it's mine. I wasn't going to hurt no one."
Spot went over the questions he wanted to ask, trying to determine which would be least upsetting to her. He wanted to know how it had all started, or how the girl had found out Tay even had a knife in her bag. Spot knew she did. It was the knife he'd given her when they'd first met and the same one Tay had often kept concealed on her person while she sold newspapers. The rule against weapons had been in place since his days in the classroom but he'd never thought to warn Tay about it. She had never been particularly violent but he could have told Ms. Nolan, or anyone else, that taking Tay's belongings would mean all bets were off. She'd been carrying the bag the very first moment he'd met her and it had been by her side ever since. The items seemed to offer her some sense of security and the disarray in the surrounding room was evidence to Spot that his prediction of what would happen if the bag was taken from her had come true.
"Just tell me what happened, from the beginning," Spot encouraged. Tay glanced around the room before settling her gaze back on where their hands were linked together in his lap.
"She tricked me into coming here," Tay whispered and her lower lip trembled. "I should have just run. I can't stay here. You have to get them to let me out of here."
"That don't explain what you're doing in here in the first place," Spot pointed out. He wasn't going to address the last part until she explained her side of the story.
"All I paid for was a bed, that's all I wanted. I just wanted to go to sleep," Tay rambled as though she hadn't even heard Spot speak. "They tried telling me I couldn't keep my clothes and that I had to clean up and I ain't getting in any water-"
"Christ," Spot interjected in a low voice. He should have known, especially since Tay's intense fear of water that had developed during her time in the Refuge was what he might consider a bonus to keeping his headquarters at the waterfront. It provided another way for him to manipulate her. She never went any closer to the river than to sit at the edge but forcing her any further than that would cause her to react violently.
"I want my things back and I want to leave. Now," Tay demanded but her voice was still shaky. "I never should have come here."
"So if you were gonna run, what are you still doing here?" Spot asked.
"I don't know," Tay sighed as she finally looked up at him. "I just want to go home, please."
"If I'd known I was gonna get punched in the face, I would have asked for more money." Spot turned on his heel to discover Lucy standing just on the other side of the alley as he exited the side entrance to the building. He'd sent Tay on ahead to wait for him out on the sidewalk in front of the mission before handing over two dollars to Ms. Nolan for any damages Tay had caused. He had claimed that was all the money he had at the given moment and knew the transaction would be easier without Tay there to give anything away.
"I paid you to keep her in Brooklyn. I didn't pay for your opinion or for you to cause this mess so if you got a problem with it, too bad," Spot answered curtly.
"I'm sure Tay would be interested to know the whole story about you."
"Lemme explain something to you, sweetheart. You seen how I treat her and I let her sleep in my bed, so imagine how I'd treat some two-bit floozy I barely know who tries to threaten me. Got it?"
"So how am I gonna explain this to Finn?" Lucy asked as she pointed to the bruised skin around her left eye.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out, you're a smart girl," Spot answered with a pointed look. It hadn't been part of the original plan to use an outsider and he felt his foul mood increase as he thought about the fact that this girl was trying to act like she had something to hold over his head. Without another word he turned toward the street and found Tay waiting for him on the front stoop. He held the previously confiscated knife out in one hand and Tay grabbed it before tucking it inside the bag Ms. Nolan had finally returned to her.
"Let's go." Between Kelly in jail and the strike basically being declared dead, Spot knew there was nothing but chaos waiting for him back at the docks. Wasting his morning dealing with Tay only made him more eager to deal with business in his usual violent manner.
"She called me 'doll'," Tay said as she walked alongside Spot down the street and through the mid-afternoon crowds.
"What?" Spot asked, pausing briefly.
"I said, she called me 'doll'. That girl at the mission, Lucy," Tay told him. She gazed at him for a long moment but Spot didn't waver as he stared straight back at her.
"Is that supposed to mean something to me?"
"No," Tay said hesitantly. "I just…I mean…no. I guess it's nothing."
"Good. I'm done talking about this shit now, understood?" Spot waited until Tay nodded. "Nobody out there cares about you so maybe next time you feel like running you'll realize I'm right and we won't have to play these little games anymore."
