Julian's face dropped at the scan results. "I'm sorry, Raina. There's no heartbeat."
Raina didn't even have a reaction to the news. She was numb, just numb. She didn't speak or even move, just laid on the bed staring up the lights. Even as Dukat held her hand, she couldn't feel his touch and his touch used to leave her skin tingling, but she felt nothing.
Julian picked up one of his tools out of its usual place and laid it next to a hypo spray. "Raina. I need to extract the bio-material, or we can let it pass naturally. It's your choice."
Raina quickly got up from the bed, pushing Dukat out of the way. She left the infirmary, moving through the promenade deck in auto pilot. She wasn't quite sure of where she was going, but she somehow ended up at Dukat's ship, in his quarters. She picked up a picture of her with Dukat in happier times. A burning hatred ripped through her as she looked at the fraudulent picture. She threw it against the window, watching as it shattered on the floor. The new kotra set she gifted him was next and she kept going until his quarters were in utter chaos. The bed sheets were ripped, pictures ripped off the wall and the contents of his desk were strewn about the floor. The only thing she didn't touch was the picture of the children.
She stumbled to her cabin and she stripped off her uniform, changing into her shorts and vest. Climbing into her bed, she laid under the bed covers, just waiting for body to expel what was left of her baby. She still hadn't managed to cry, in fact anger was the only emotion that she could summon up, yet even that had deserted her.
Dukat took to Quark's bar to drink himself into a stupor. He sat on the top level in solitude surrounded by bottles of Kanar, draining them one after another. He barely made it downstairs to the bar to get more. He just managed to make out the Doctor sitting with Dax, Kira and Garak. He didn't like any them. Not the Major, so high and mighty. Or the saccharine voiced Trill. Nor the doctor who seemed to have Raina's trust. Certainly not Garak, especially not Garak.
Actually, he hated the doctor more than Garak. Julian could actually make Raina happy and that infuriated Dukat. Julian was a handsome man, kind, respectful and decent. Everything that Dukat wanted to be but failed at every hurdle.
He stumbled over to their table, bottle in hand and swigging from it like a thirsty man. "Y.. , Doctor Bash…Bash…. I see how you look at my Raina." He slurred, drinking from the bottle again. "I'll fight to the death for her." He swayed in his feet. "I.. Legate Dukatttttt will win Raina back." He stumbled again, dropping his bottle of Kanar. "RAINA IS MINEEE." He shouted, pointing at men witnessing the events accusingly.
"Quark!" Kira yelled. "How many has he had?"
"Judging by the empties upstairs, he's drained 5 bottles." Quark replied.
"How is he even standing?" Kira watched as he turned his anger back on to Julian and she knew she had to step in. "Dukat come on, you need to sleep it off." She tapped his back, hoping to calm him.
"Oh, it's you." He spat. "I bet you're glad that my baby is dead, and Raina hates me."
"Come on, we'll escort you back to your ship." She put an arm on his shoulder and tried to guide him towards the exit.
He shrugged her off arm and fell towards the bar. "I need another bottle, Quark."
"You've had enough."
Dukat slammed his hands down on the bar. "I say when I've had enough." He snatched the bottle that Quark was holding and drunk it in quick succession. "Come on everyone. Tell me what a loser I am. I had the most beautiful woman in the galaxy, and I threw it away."
Julian took pity on Dukat. He was drinking his pain away, thinking he had lost Raina. "Dukat, you need a clear head if you are going to work this out with Raina."
"I love her so much." He cried.
"I know you do, and she loves you." Julian patted his shoulder. "You don't need to do this."
"Our baby." He cried. When he saw Naprem, his anger returned. "I was her fault. I wish I left you in that mine!" He screamed. "I hate you. I hate all of you." He picked up a chair and threw it against the back wall behind the bar, narrowly missing Quark.
Sisko rushed into the bar to find Dukat smashing everything he could get his hands on, while people around tried to get near him but failed. He grabbed Dukat from behind and held him until others could get close enough to help. It took 7 people to restrain Dukat while he howled on the floor, sobbing and screaming for Raina. "We need to get him to the brig." Once he was safely confined is a cell, Sisko demanded answers. "Someone want to enlighten me?"
Jadzia spoke up first. "It appears that Dukat and Raina have been involved. She got pregnant and sadly has lost the baby. Dukat isn't taking it well."
"Where is, Raina?" He asked.
"She went back to her cabin. She doesn't want to see anyone, including him." Julian added.
"I'm going to check on her. Keep an eye on him." Sisko sighed as he watched Dukat sob on the floor off the cell. "I don't want to have explain to the Cardassians if he does something stupid."
He headed to Raina's cabin, rehearsing what to say to her. He pressed the buzzer and he was surprised when the door opened. His heart broke when he saw her sat on her sofa, huddled into a ball, just staring into space. "Raina?" He sat down next to her. "I'm so sorry, Raina."
"Am I a terrible person, Ben?" She asked him quietly, her voice so devoid of the laughter and kindness that made her so well liked.
"No. Why would you ask that?" He caressed her knee, putting his fingers on her chin to tilt her head up to look at him. Her eyes looked so empty. There was no warmth in them. No determined spark.
"What am I being punished for?" Her voice betrayed a tell-tale sign of the devastation she was feeling. "I was violently beaten at 13 by a boy when I refused to have sex with him. Lost my mum at 15. Raped to near death at 18. Lost my baby and the man who I thought loved me at 19. Between 20 and 24 I went off the rails and had sex with just about every man I ever met. Lost my brother at 24. Lost another baby at 27." A tear that she couldn't shed finally broke free. "Why am I getting punished?"
"You're not a bad person, Raina." It made him angry that someone so special had to endure so much pain. "Even after all that, you still get back up and come back even stronger."
"I thought he loved me, Ben."
As much as he hated Dukat, Sisko knew that he did love Raina. "He does. He has just drunk himself into a stupor because he thinks he lost you. You need to speak to him."
"I don't want to see him again." She tensed at the idea of seeing him.
"Raina, whether you forgive him or not, you need to talk to him. Do it for me?"
Raina nodded. She pulled on a jumper and put on some comfortable shoes for the trip down to the cells. Julian had given Dukat something that would counter act the effects of the booze temporarily, so he was lucid enough to talk. Sisko really believed that Dukat would have palpitations when he saw Raina. He looked at her as if he couldn't believe she was real. "Raina, we'll leave you be."
"No, I want you all to stay." Raina stopped them. "I don't want any misunderstanding over what we say to each other."
Dukat stood up when she stepped into the cell. "Raina…I." Everything he planned to say to her got lost in his head.
"Come on then. Make your excuses." She said as she sat down on the bed.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you and for ignoring you. You didn't deserve that."
"So, was any of it real? The last 2 years?" Raina swallowed hard as if she expected him to say no.
"You think I faked loving you for 2 years?" The implication that he did hurt.
"I want to know what you were thinking when you disappeared and left me to think of every worst case scenario."
"I wanted to find my daughter. I knew you'd understand." Dukat sat on the bed next to her, wanting to be close, but he knew she didn't want it.
"I would have. You should have told me; I could have helped."
"You know that you can't hate me anymore than I hate myself." His voice broke as he spoke. "Our baby."
"I don't hate you. I'm angry, hurt, devastated but I love you too much to hate you."
"What is it that you need from me?" He asked.
Raina sobbed as she turned away from him. "I need time, space to process everything. I'm not saying it's over unless it's what you want that. I need time to work on me. If we continue our relationship I need to work on my control and jealousy issues first."
"I'll wait for however long I have to."
Raina slipped off the bed and stood up. "The kids can message me any time, that wont change."
"I need to hold you, just once before I leave." Raina nodded as the pain in her face eased, like she needed his arms around her. He held her close, never wanting to let her go. But she needed time to look after herself and to keep her, he needed to let her go for a while.
