Chapter 17

Emma

I rocked Hope in my arms in the recliner. I calmed her down to where she stared at me in tranquility, and then her eyelids grew heavy and then she fell asleep. I had soothed her quickly by feeding her, and stopped crying as well.

I couldn't help but listen outside of the apartment front door, hoping Killian would walk in and tell me that he wanted to make up or at least apologize, or even talk. I was shocked that he had gotten so upset with my feelings. I wasn't to blame. I needed him on board for this mission beginning tomorrow, as well as to shortly reconcile our issue about Neil.

I thought that leaving him be to cool off across the hall in my old apartment was perhaps wise, although I wished his reaction had not been so extreme. I also wished that I had turned in my apartment key to the landlord, which I had not had time yet for, so the apartment was technically still mine, in my name although I had moved, and didn't intend on paying rent on it.

Part of me wanted to go to him, leave Hope here in her cradle, now that she was asleep. I thought about that as I sat there watching my baby sleep in serenity, while things were starting to fall apart with me and Killian.

I heard one of the apartment doors open, but it was inside our apartment home. I realized it was Regina's as she strode confidently towards the kitchen and then stopped when she saw me in the living room. She ticked her eyes around the quiet dim room.

She was wearing a satin pajama suit with a black undershirt, still appearing to be a pantsuit.

She arched an eyebrow at me as her gaze dropped curiously to my newborn. "Where's your One Handed Wonder?" She looked towards Henry's bedroom then back to me as she slowed in her pace, intrigued by me.

I frowned and softly smoothed Hope's fair hair forwards on her head. "Henry went with Neil. I told Henry to come back in two hours tops."

Her eyes hardened a little bit. "Oh good," she said sarcastically. "No one bothered to ask me?" She sighed and held my gaze for a moment before she went into the kitchen.

I could hear her filling a cup with water, followed by the microwave door opening and closing. She must have been heating water, because a minute later or so she walked back in with a white tea cup with blue rim on it, complete with a tea bag tag hanging over the edge. She shot me another peeved glance and said in a low, bored tone, "So where's Hook?

Usually you two are nauseatingly inseparable." She sat down on the sofa, but didn't get comfortable, as she watched me, intrigued.

I averted my eyes again to Hope.

I kissed her forehead and made an irritated face and shrugged.

Regina said, "Uh oh. He went with the boys leaving you alone to babysit? Guyliner's turn out or night on the town?" She carefully sipped her tea, which smelled a lot like honey and chamomile.

I lifted Hope in my arms as I got up gingerly, and then walked over to the baby cradle in my room. I quietly whispered to Regina, "No." I closed my bedroom door and walked back to the recliner and faced her, as I twisted my body comfortably. "He's upset with me."

Her eyes enlarged. Then she rolled them. "Why am I not surprised? He's like a child himself." She tossed up her manicured fingers and leaned back, her body turned to me. She tilted her head to the side as she studied me. "No matter what, that pirate broods. It's like he doesn't realize what he has, which is you. What did you do this time?" she said sarcastically as she tilted her head to the side.

I was too miserable to respond with a smile. I sighed and leaned my elbow on the arm nearest to her. In a mournful voice, I replied, "Hook's rather hurt. Because well, he thinks I still have feelings for Neil."

"And what brought that up?" she asked, nearly sputtering with another sardonic laugh.

I dropped my eyes. "I wish I had beer."

Next thing I knew she was handing me her tea. "Here. I didn't drug it. You need this more than I do. Seriously. I'll make another. So spill."

I made a face at her that showed her that I didn't need it but I took it anyways. I dunked my chin down in appreciation.

I looked at her oddly.

She said, "It's hot chamomile with honey tea. Not spiked." She pointed at me with her graceful, long finger, "Don't tell me he's staying somewhere else. Because that is not acceptable."

I took a sip. The tea was soothing and delightful. I wrapped my hands around the hot mug but it felt good. I felt like I would cry again. I fought back the tears, attempting to be strong and to not be so bothered. "He's staying across the hall." I glanced at the front door.

"That's pathetic Emma. Now I know you're newlyweds and marital bliss and honeymoon phase and all but let me give you a word of advice. You do not allow a man to crush you by leaving. Not again. He's lucky you took him back the first time." She lifted a shoulder in a sassy, poise way. "Still. So what happened?"

I told her.

Afterwards with wide eyes she shook her head with certainty. "He wouldn't be getting away with that with me. So go after him. Tell him he needs to come back, help you with the baby, and be a team player and stop making you miserable with his pouting. Or you really will go with Neil."

"I'm sorry, what?" I said.

She put up her palms surrender. "I'm just saying that he makes things a big deal that aren't."

She went into the kitchen and made herself a tea while I sipped mine.

When she returned, she sighed with a slight smile and fixed her gaze on me as if she were my therapist. "So Neil kissed you. So what. Big deal. Did you like it or not?" she asked simply. It made me realize that things must feel so simple to her and that she wouldn't tolerate any of this.

I thought about that. It stunned me and excited me, yet disgusted me all at once. "I don't know." I pressed my lips together and took another long drink. I felt a bit more peaceful, but still forlorn, like my chest was aching.

Her mouth opened in wonder. "What do you mean? Emma you're scaring me." She leaned forward and whispered, "Is there something that Hook should be concerned about?"

I shook my head. "No. I made it clear to him yet he still left. It's like we broke up all over again." My heart throbbed. "I don't have time for this. We have less than a day to get our group together, working together, and find that Bag of Death.

Because if we don't, we fail. It scares me that Killian won't trust me."

"Do you care about Neil?" She hesitated, probably at my expression. "You can tell me. It's not like I'm in the mood to help Your Peeving Pirate."

I closed my eyes. "I do care. But it's not like that. It's more like I still feel that fresh pain of when he left me. And then him dying. Of losing him," I said forlornly.

Regina rolled her eyes. "Dammit. Alright, where's that heart pendent Neil gave you?" She wiggled her fingers for me to hand it over.

I gave her a stupefied look and raised my eyebrows. "What? Why?"

She made a theatrical annoyed expression. "Trust me. Where is it?" She held out her palm, closer to me this time. "Let me see it." She demanded sternly.

"Okay okay, geez," I said softly as I gave her a perturbed look. I reached into my pocket of my jean jacket which was in the underside of my jacket and fished out my held heart necklace. I lifted it and let it dangle over her hand then dropped it.

She gazed at it and pursed her lips as she hovered her palm over it, sensing it. She said, "Uh huh." She brandished it and showed it to me. "The damn thing holds magic. So I don't recommend holding onto this." She gave me a stern look. "I will."

"But that is part of the key to get home through the portal," I said as I held out my palm.

She gave me an outlandish once over with an arched brow. "I mean you can't have it back, Swan…Jones." She rolled her eyes as she shook her head, clearly still not a fan of Hook. She closed her palm over it. "Why did you hyphenate your name anyways?"

I limply shrugged. I was both angry at Killian and saddened at the same time. "Joint decision."

She said, "This thing may be effecting you a little. It won't affect me, I don't care about Neil that much. Except I have to, he's Henry's father." She seemed distant for a moment. She held it in her hand and placed it next to her on the sofa.

"So you think it is making me…feel something?" I asked.

She nodded and crossed her legs. "I can sense magic in it. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, if it's part of Gold's scheme. He would arrange all of this. That ugly Bug Eyed Imp." She scoffed. "I should have seen this coming all along. Only he would know exactly how to cheat death for lost ones and get us back from the past." She held up her forefinger. "Remind me to beat the hell out of him and shove his head in a bag when we get back."

"Regina…" I said, remembering Robin Hood.

She sighed, in a delicate, refined way, "Alright fine. I'll help you kill him, I won't get all the fun and glory." She held up her palm.

"No…Regina? I forgot to tell you. Robin is alive."

Her lips parted and her eyes widened. "Robin?" she whispered and then grinned, making her look completely happy and younger even. "You are sure? Where?"

"I don't know where, I'm sorry, I didn't tell you, all of my marital drama," I rolled my eyes dismissively, "But yes, Neil told me he's alive. That he's seen him."

She broke into a smile. It made me feel better to see her so uplifted. "Well then why don't you text Neil for me and ask him where I can find him?"

"Of course." I picked up my phone from the coffee table near a potted king palm tree and flipped it open. I started to text Neil as Regina spoke.

She sighed blissfully and looked heavenward. "I can't believe it! I will find him tonight! I never thought I would get another chance with him."

"Maybe you'll finally get your happy ending," I said, smiling for her.

I texted Neil: 'Hey. Regina wants to know where to find Robin?'

"I never thought I would get to love again. Much less see him.

The real him."

I closed the phone and said to Regina, "I'm happy for you. You deserve this. You need to have love again. Someone needs a happy ending, even if it isn't me after all."

She tilted her head to the side, still smiling brightly. I didn't see her like this much at all, not since Robin was killed.

She said, "I think you need to talk to Hook. Not that I'm up for rooting for him, especially right now. Not a fan of him hurting you."

I nodded glumly. "It must have just hit him hard."

Regina said, "I think you need to tell him that you don't have feelings at all for Neil. That it was this stupid cheap piece of jewelry. Not that it matters anymore. It may be the enchanted object that helps get us through that portal, but I honestly don't think you should let Guyliner mope into another apartment. He's to melancholy for his own good. Recall what happened last time he left dramatically?" She raised her eyebrow knowingly.

"I had nearly lost him for good." I said distantly, remembering the pain of that night, thinking he had left me for good. I didn't want to go through that turmoil again.

I heard my phone ding so I opened it and read the text on the screen from Neil:

'I will have him come to my place. Henry and I are just hanging out eating ice cream. Send Regina to this address…'

Once Neil texted me the address they were at, I grinned at Regina and handed her my phone. She smiled like I was handing her a newborn baby. I said with a small smile, "I hope that this time it works out for you. That it's your real Robin."

She looked at me with soft, hopeful eyes. "Thank you. I'll go after my lover and think you need to go after yours. Honestly, I may not like Hook and the way he's projecting his insecurities on you, but I think you need to go to him now." She handed me my phone back.

I looked at my cellphone screen. Henry had texted me: 'Hey I'm okay and alive still. Dad and I got some Mint chip ice cream and are chilling out at his place.'

I texted in response: 'Good, Kid, save me some. You can just come home with your other Mom later.'

I snapped my phone shut as she and I got up to go to the apartment Hook was in. I would just leave Hope asleep in her basinet and if my parents heard her crying, my parents could help out with her. There was still baby formula here if there was an emergency and Hope was hungry.

I felt more motivated now to go speak with Killian, which made me both nervous and excited. I prayed that Killian would want to speak to me and work out his issue with Neil.

Henry

I replied to Mom's text (Emma-Mom), telling her I was eating ice cream. I scooped another spoonful of my mint chocolate ice cream in my mouth and looked across the brown leather couch at Dad's small apartment. It was a one bedroom with a sensible living area and austere décor, but homey enough. There was iron around the window, and there was plenty of junk food and a TV with cable. Definitely a guy pad.

Dad was hunched over his knees, his elbows rested on his knees. He eyed my cellphone inquisitively and then smiled genuinely yet curiously. "So what'd your Mom say?"

He was overtly still interested in my Mom, which made me feel both uncomfortable and grossed out at the same time. I liked that he cared about her a lot. But Mom letting it slip earlier at home that Dad kissed her made me wish I didn't know. I could tell Mom was acting way off tonight, mostly anxious. I could also tell that Hook and she were having a fight. I knew Hook pretty well, and him hanging back in his bedroom with a grim expression once they arrived home earlier at our apartment headquarters made me think that Hook knew about the kiss too.

I smiled nonchalantly at Dad. I still couldn't believe that I was sitting here with him, even though I hadn't had that much time with him before he had died. I felt a prominent, strong love for him. He had taken me to a grocery store, where we chose whatever drinks and snacks I wanted. Then we rented a movie at Blockbuster and now we were eating Breyer's and drinking Coke.

"Which one?" I asked, joking, lightening the serious question. I knew Dad was fishing for any details on her.

"Emma," he said in a soft voice, reverence saturating the name. He had a faint smirk.

"That my other Mom can take me home when she comes over. By the way, where is Robin?" I was thrilled for Regina-Mom.

He dunked his chin and put down his bowl on the wooden coffee table. "He should be here soon."

"How'd you find him?"

"I go to a lot of bars. Not that I'm a drunk," Dad replied evenly. HE smiled at his own humor.

"My other Mom never got her happy ending. It's like finally this time travel, being stuck in the past, is granting all of these miracles of those who died." I eyed him earnestly.

He pressed his lips seriously in agreement. "I can't help but think there is a reason I'm back alive. It makes me want to go for what I wanted and never realized that I had unfinished business about. I thought I had moved on, gone to a better place. But then I was brought back." He spread his hands in amazement.

"Due to Mr. Gold, right?"

He nodded once pensively. "I sure hope I can stay alive, even after we return to Storybrooke."

"So you and Robin can come home with us tomorrow night, when we open the portal?"

He nodded as he leaned his side into the couch, facing me. He said, "Only if we can get the Sack of Death."

"How does it work? I researched all day every day since we've been back here in the past week. I found nothing." I sliced my hand in the air. I was usually amazing at researching, as was my family.

"Well the trick is to not open it. Once it is opened, even accidently, then people that are supposed to be dead, like me and Robin, well…" He shrugged. "I'm sure you can guess the rest of the story."

"Let's make sure that doesn't happen. So what's the trick in getting this Sack?"

He leaned his elbows on his knees and cleared his throat. He said pensively, "Magic. And there isn't any magic in this real world. But Emma and I…we're one of a kind. So are the pendants that we have." A fond half smile curled on his lips.

"I know about those, Mom told us. Those are way cool. I don't get it. How are you magic?" It still freaked me out that he was alive.

He grinned confidently. "Gold's my father. I guess I realized that I inherited it."

"Can you perform actual magic?" I asked in awe.

He meshed his lips together. "No, just with the pendant's, and being able to help obtain the burlap sack of death. That won't take much magic, just Emma and I have to be there, and we need you too. The whole family. I might be able to perform magic later on, I don't know. Maybe once we get back to Storybrooke." He smiled at me.

I nodded.

He said, "So can I ask you something?"

I raised my eyebrows in response. It sounded personal already.

He continued, "Hook, is he a good father to you?"

I picked up my ice cream bowl and scooped a bite and chewed thoughtfully. "Yeah of course. He's kind hearted.
Treats me like his own."

He gently nodded and said rather sadly, "I just wished I had a way to had come sooner. I sure wish we could all be a family. I know that might make you feel uncomfortable." He spread his hands and half smiled. "I can't get over her you know? Your Mom." He had a distant look, as if remembering fond memories.

He lifted his hands as if to shrug, "I don't know if she still loves me. Not to put you on the spot or anything but is she happy?"

I knew that answer without having to think about it. "She is." I smiled encouragingly, sympathy in my eyes. "I mean they just got married not even a year ago. Newlyweds and all." I didn't mention tonight's intense discussion when she didn't appear as happy.

He lowered his eyes and said, "Good for her." He sighed and seemed fidgety. "Does she ever let on that she misses me? Even tonight?"

I scooped more of my ice cream, digging for the semi-dark chocolate chips in the ice cream, concealing my eyes. I wanted him to be happy too but there was no way I could go against their marriage now.

I replied, "I couldn't say. She thought you were dead and she had been with Hook for so long that it just has been her and him."

"It was right after I died, wasn't it?" he asked grimly.

I dunked my chin in response.

"I had a feeling." He said in a depressed tone. He hung his head for a moment. He was fishing for anything to go on.

I forced an empathetic look at him. "Sorry Dad." I took another bite of ice cream, wishing he would stop talking about her. It was kind of gross. I just saw her as Mom. I understood having an ex-girlfriend in most ways, but he acted like I was his best friend. Wasn't sure how I felt about it, although I was also flattered.

"It's okay. I just never moved on." He looked at me intently. "You know what it's like when you find the one, it's like you don't fall out of love. And her moving on it rough to handle. And see. I know you probably don't want to hear it. But she was my first love. I know I was hers. And that's why these pendants create that power." He held up the half of the heart pendant that was on a chain. "Sometimes I wish that I could have her back. I respect she's with my old buddy. But I still have feelings for her."

I reached out to hold it and studied it. It was one of those sets that you bought at a department store or maybe even Walmart. I tried to smile at him. "I understand the feeling." I held it in my palm, still feeling like I didn't want to hear this love story about he and Mom, because now that she married Captain Hook it was very weird. I recalled not liking Hook for a long time. Mostly because in my eyes, he controlled this family. But I was cool with him now.

He seemed stunned. His smile broadened. "Wait, you have a girlfriend?"

I smiled, thinking about Violet. He had caught onto my meaning. I was so far away from her, it was nearly impossible to ever see her again, at least not tonight. I thought about what it felt like to kiss her and hold her and yes, I had romance in my life, more than I told my Moms or stepfather.

"Yep. But, we're not exactly together. It's complicated."

"It always is."

"Well, we sort of are. But not able to constantly be together. I don't even know. Hopefully one day," I said mournfully as I looked away.

"Who is she?"

"Violet. Met her in Camelot. She's beautiful. With a good heart."

He leaned back, grinning. "So what happened? Seems like you didn't want to end it."

"I didn't. Her Dad doesn't approve of us being…serious." I eyed him with a subtle smirk.

He gave me a nonplussed look. "Were you?"

I lifted a shoulder. "We were. Are, sort of. On break I guess. I don't think she wanted to break up either. My Mom, er, Regina, didn't approve either. She wanted me to focus on a career. But who cares about that when you've got someone special that you love, you know? She and I thought we'd take a break. It didn't work. We weren't able to see each other. Her father is very controlling, and she lives with him, so we would try to sneak away, go on walks, you know? Get fast food. She loves chocolate milk shakes. And Dr. Pepper. Anyways, we were…caught. If you know what I mean." I lifted an eyebrow.

His brow furrowed. "Caught…what?"

I felt my face grow hot and I felt excited talking about it with him. "So we were out in the barn, where her horse is kept. We started kissing. And things got…well, that's when her Dad came a little afterwards. Needless to say, it started a big problem for us. I couldn't even see her. Her Dad used to like me a little bit, we only could do day dates for an hour, but after that…He moved with her to another city."

"Do you still talk?"

"Yeah, we communicate, sometimes when her Dad isn't monitoring her phone. We talk when we can, emails, mostly, but her Dad's so strict. So austere. I think that it keeps us apart." I sighed. I wanted to go to her first chance I got after we got back home. I was baking on it. "I miss her so much."

"Best feeling in the world, being in love. And you know, I had this weird dream that I married Cinderella for some reason, in some other world or dimension. Things were screwed up, there was no Violet. But then I woke up next to Violet. Eighteen again. Still me."

He chuckled. "That's a little too much even for this family."

I smiled at him and nodded. I thought about my last argument with Violet. "Anyway I at least was able to see her right when Hope was born. We talked about our future. She's old enough to have a boyfriend obviously. But… it just seems to me that she is too shy to go off on her own. Like he intimidates her, controls her college funds because he pays for it. She doesn't know how to get free, and I get it, she loves me. But I think her Dad won't let her be an adult. Maybe one day, I have hope." I cracked a smirk.

His eyes were bugged. He smiled softly at me and said, "That's how I felt about your Mom. And then I had to leave her. Which I regret. You know the rest." He lifted his hand dismissively. I knew he wanted to talk about her though.

I nodded, feeling awkward again. I cleared my throat. He seemed so heart broken, yet hopeful at the same time. He said, "Hook and I can't ever be friends again. I know he wants to probably beat the crap out of me."

"I doubt he's that stupid." I replied, trying to lighten the mood.

His smile dropped as he said ardently, "Well, I hope you can get to your girlfriend again. I would even help you."

I knew that I was beaming. "You would? I mean we sort of kind of are, I hate to think we aren't going to make it. Not so much because we can't see each other, and that puts the strain on our relationship. We don't exactly have my other Mom, Regina," I said to clarify, "on our side either. I love her but she wouldn't let me see her, even if I went to go see her. Which I did I snuck away right before Mom was taken by the hell demon. I feel guilty."

"Don't." He reached out to slap my shoulder lightly. "That hell beast is controlled by Gold. And she's fine. As you see."

"It is?" I asked in wonder, my heart leaping in blissful surprise. "How does he do that?"

"Magic. Not sure details yet. I can tell. It's revolving around our mission to return with me."

"That's a very positive plus for us." I was even more so encouraged that we could make it back without any more comas, or memory wipes, or worse, hopefully.

"I think your Mom will be fine. I will help you get Violet back. I'm sure we can make it happen. Even if maybe we moved out by Violet. That is if anything ever changed. I hope you don't blame me." I knew he didn't mean Regina-Mom in any of that context.

I didn't respond to that. "I get it. You love her. You can't help you love."

He shook his head forlornly.

I added, "Have you been seeing anybody?"

He shook his head. "No. It's hard to when I have only been back alive for a month, and all I can think of is…someone I can't have."

"You know I wish I could help things me different. I was the best man. I feel stuck in the middle."

"Maybe one day things will change. I'm sure your Mom hates me now. But either way I want to live near you in Storybrooke once we get back."

"I would love that," I replied honestly. I was happy that I had my Dad in my life again. "Mom probably wouldn't mind either."

He nodded pensively with a small, fond smile as he nodded. "You know, it's not a bad thing to hope for my family together, right? I don't want you to judge me."

"She is taken. Not that I wouldn't love you two together also. I've thought of it before. But I couldn't ever help break them up." I sensed he wanted my help.

"Do you like Hook? Honestly?" he asked me in a gentle tone. I could tell by his apprehensive stare that he wanted me to not like him. I wanted to be. But I couldn't lose loyalty to my Mom either.

"I didn't used to." I shrugged. "He has health rules which increased since my sister came into the world. I guess I feel bad for Hope when she gets a little older. But I get away with a lot with Mom. But he is an awesome guy. It took me years to approve of him dating my Mom."

He smiled sadly. He probably wanted me to say I despised the guy and rather him be with Mom. I just loathed to be stuck in the middle anymore. I thought my Dad shouldn't be lusting after someone married, and yet I couldn't blame him either. My Mom was assertive enough to take care of herself though.

"Well I'm going to stop pestering you about her, right? And I will help you get your girlfriend back. Promise. Once we get back." He reached out and patted my arm. I smiled, feeling all soft and warm inside, thinking about Violet. I loved her more than anything and understood love now.

There was a knock at the door and Robin's voice said, "Mate? You in there? It's me, Robin."

"Robin!" I cried, grinning. I wanted to see the look on my other Mom's face once she saw him.

Dad smiled broadly. "That's Robin. Regina should be arriving very soon."

I stood up, excited. I couldn't wait to see My other Mom happy again. She never got to be until now. "This story is about to get even more interesting," I exclaimed.

Emma

I knocked on my parent's closed bedroom door. A few moments later, Snow opened the door, clearly wearing some floral white nightgown. "Emma?" Her eyes flickered behind me, and her eyebrows drew together in concern. "Where is Hook?"

"That's what I'm going to try and find out. Do you mind listening for Hope? She's asleep in her cradle in my bedroom. I'm going to go talk to Killian." I pointed behind my shoulder.

She broke into a grin, tired, yet hopeful. "Good for you!" she whispered. "And yes. I'll leave my door open." She dropped her hand and smiled at me encouragingly.

I thanked her with a small smile and turned to walk briskly out of our main apartment and out across the hallway outside of it. I stood in front of my old apartment door and exhaled, rather nervously, wondering how he would react since he had seemed very keen on being alone. I was used to seeing him mope before when I offended him, but this one was the worst I had seen him.

I knocked on now his apartment door with the back of my hand and said, "Killian? Can you open up please?" I asked assertively.

I waited a little bit, before the door opened a few inches. Killian stared out at me with intrigued, slightly red eyes, and then frowned a little. His eyes were still soft and despondent. I could smell rum. He cleared his throat and murmured, "Emma. I didn't expect you to want to see me." He opened the door slightly more for me.

I frowned, confused. "I was about to say the same thing," I said stiffly as I lifted my eyebrows. I could tell he had been drinking a lot now, judging by the way he stood and the dim, lazy look in his eyes. "Do you want me to come in?" I asked indifferently as I stuck my hand on my hip. "I think it's time we hash this out."

He opened the door all the way for me, his expression relieved.

I strode inside with my arms crossed. I heard him close the door and then saunter after me as I made my way in the living room. He had a bottle of rum and a shot glass. "Seems like you've got acquainted with the bottle. Didn't waste any time did you?" I asked him as I turned around to face him, still standing.

His eyes dropped down to his hand and then over to the rum. He slowly dunked his head in response. "Care to join me?" he asked apprehensively, his tone low and uncertain. I looked into his eyes. I could read the shame in them as well as the pain. It made my heart immediately ache like someone had punched my chest.

I concealed it, keeping my guard up a little. He was the one who walked out on me tonight. "How'd you acquire rum so fast?"

"There was a corner store."

"I think you could use a drinking buddy. And I think it's time we really talk, don't you?" I strode to the cabinets and opened one where glasses were kept. There was a single shot glass left. I plucked it from its shelf and shut the cupboard as I passed him with a come hither look.

"Aye." He said softly. I could feel his gaze on me.

I reached for the bottle and popped off the lid. I decided that we could start Hope on formula again, plus she was full. "Don't judge. I need this. They still have baby formula here." I filled my shot glass and brought it to my lips and took a long drink. The sweet rum burned in my throat, but I welcomed it. I closed my eyes and sank on the sofa, relaxed immediately. I threw back my head and said, "I needed this." I eyed him as he picked up his shot glass and topped it off, and then sat down next to me gingerly, his eyes wary.

He took a shot and then set it down on the coffee table and dragged his guilty eyes to me.

I waited for him to speak as I stared at him expectantly. He still seemed butt hurt.

"Where's Hope?" he asked.

"Left her with my parents. She's asleep. Thanks for asking." I cocked my head to the side, hoping slightly to make him feel guilty.

He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes. "I know I shouldn't have left like that Emma." He whispered.

I picked up my glass and poured another shot, surprising myself even that I was drinking again, but I didn't care now. I had way too much on my mind and couldn't stand my thoughts anymore, not to mention the pressure of everything that was going to happen tomorrow.

I set down my glass, feeling warm and cozy inside, nearly drunk. I hadn't drank in so long, since we found out about Hope. I nodded once and pursed my lips. I said, "First of all, do not ever leave me like that again." I said earnestly. I didn't care that I probably seemed very angry.

He averted his eyes. He pretty much hung his head in shame. He blinked his eyes and then picked up his glass and down the rest of his shot. He faced me and said tenderly, "I am so very sorry, Swan. I know I did you wrong by storming out of there." He glanced past me and continued, "If you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, I would love to talk about whatever it is you need to say."

I nodded heavily and crossed my legs and cleared my throat. I showed him my left hand. "Well I still wear your ring." I dropped my hand after relief passed over his face. A smile tickled the edge of his mouth in appreciation. He lowered his head. At least he cracked a smirk.

"I don't know what came over me," he said as he looked at me timidly. He nodded as if coming to peace with whatever he was thinking about. "I know I was vile to you. But I can't handle it. Handle Neil, pining after you…and after you said you cared for him…" he reached for the bottle of rum. I picked it up before he did and poured us both a drink. "That you went out with him."

I set the bottle down and handed him his glass. I whispered, "In my defense, that was for the sake of all of us. And I told you that I am not in love with him. I'm here to ask you what can I do? What would help you not to feel insecure about us? Because we can't go into tomorrow broken up. I can't allow it. Need I remind you what happened last time you left me."

He frowned and then took his shot in one drink. He set it down with a thud. His eyes intensely held mine. He said under his voice, "I don't want to lose you. I was a fool for both accounts on leaving you like I did. Honestly I just can't deal with the fact that you have feelings and I don't know how to handle it." He gazed at me sullenly like he was begging me to step in or say something that would help him not feel so scared.

I took another shot, now buzzed. I set my empty glass on the table near his, not bothering to refill this time. exhaled in pleasure as my head swam from the alcohol and said, "You'll lose me if you don't trust me." I hesitated as he winced and looked down at my hands and then his.

"I trust you. As I have said. But he is still bloody after you. And I take it he won't stop."

"And I showed you the texts I responded back. So how do we work this out, Killian? Because it's unfair to me that you make me feel guilty for something I didn't do." I said heatedly, slightly raising my voice but not yelling at him.

"I'm sorry Emma." He gazed deeply into my eyes. His eyes were full of humility and shame. He said, "I need to know if you do still love him. That's what matters to me." He paused and searched my face. I narrowed my eyes at him.

I gave him a puzzled once over.

He took a deep breath, "Answer that, and then we can work this out," he whispered with wondering eyes as if preparing himself for the answer. His eyes were faded, probably from his shots and shots of rum. I felt sorry for him, just looking at him made my heart hurt.

I looked at him remorsefully and said softly, "I told you I don't. But I don't like taking the blame for him kissing me. You know that I didn't engage."

He nodded as if processing it. He said, "Then answer me this final thing." He hesitated and twisted his body so that he was facing me. I maneuvered mine so that I was mirroring him. His eyes searched my eyes carefully. He waited a few seconds before he said, "Did you enjoy it?" His eyes were full of trepidation.

I frowned at him. "The kiss?" When he didn't reply, and only blinked his eyes, I said, "No. I didn't. Was I relieved he's alive? Yes. Do I have feelings for him? No."

He sighed in relief. A smile tugged very slightly at the corner of his mouth. He whispered, "It just seemed to me you did. Look I know you care about him. I will accept that." He licked his lips and stared at me with worry. "I know how much you loved him before."

"I would have chosen you anyways," I replied. My eyes were teary, but I felt so blissful from the rum's glorious buzz and the way we weren't yelling at each other or pissing each other off.

He arched an eyebrow. "Would you have?"

I nodded. "I have known that for a very long time. Since you nearly died along with him in Neverland. I was afraid of you dying because of that shadow."

His face morphed from fear to pleasure.

I continued, "I'll tell you that I don't believe in divorce. I wouldn't ever hook up with him or change my mind. Just so you know that."

He smiled, satisfied and relieved. His eyes were soft and loving. He replied, "Emma you know that I would never leave you no matter what. I only know what you share with Neil was strong and I have a feeling that he will be around you for a very long time, due to Henry. That was what scares me. I know Neil is a thief and would your heart if you could. And what if you grew bored of me. And wanted him without consciously allowing it? You're my treasure. I couldn't bare it."

I reached over and gently caressed his face, slowly, tenderly stroking the hair there and the way the touch of his skin sent electricity through my body. His breath hitched. I whispered, "I'm promising you that it won't happen, Killian. I don't want him. Quite frankly he annoys me. And I keep my promises. You forget how devilishly handsome you are. I could never grow bored of you." His hand slid up my leg and then my waist. He pulled me closer as he whispered huskily, "Now can we get on to the kissing part?"

I grabbed his shoulders and kissed him fully as I ran my fingers through his hair. He pushed me down on the sofa and tilted his head to the side and shoved his tongue in my mouth. I whimpered as his hand caressed my thigh and then down lower. He touched me and then unbuttoned my jeans.

I groaned as he kissed me slowly and heatedly as if he couldn't get enough of me. His fingers moved down between my thighs. He started kissing down my neck and down to my chest. He stopped kissing me and reached to the hem of my sweater and lifted it up. I pulled it off and then unhooked my bra. He kissed me roughly. I rubbed his chest and then started to undo his pants and then pulled them down. He whispered against my lips "God Emma." He wrapped my legs around his waist. I pushed him inside of me. He moved into me in hard motions, and my head swam. I closed my eyes and arched my back at chanted his name. I moaned loudly as he rammed hard into me. He grunted and whispered my name. His hand was in my hair. He kissed me deeply, his kisses tender and hungry all at once. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly as we made love, as rough as it was this time, I felt like he was insatiable. I gasped loudly, making loud noises as he grinded into me. He let out choppy breaths and held me tightly in his arms. I felt like my heart would explode from the intense love that we felt together. I cried out as he moved into me hard and rapidly. He exhaled and laid on top of me. I curled up next to him. I kissed him gently and stroked his cheek with my fingertips.

He laid beside me and wrapped me tightly in his arms. I laid my cheek against his chest and closed my eyes, adoring the way he gazed at me with no more vexation in them. He rubbed my back sensually. He said in my ear, "Now will you forgive me for walking away from you, Swan?" His hand ran slowly down my hair, which sent tingling chills throughout my body. I hugged my arm around his waist and ran my fingers up and down his chest, feeling at peace again after aching with pain earlier.

I lifted my chin and looked into his eyes and replied, dreamily with a seductive smirk, "You know I can't stay mad at you. Especially after that kind of makeup sex." I kissed him sensually.

He smirked seductively. "I will win your heart every time. I promise not to be foolish next time and walk away."

"Please don't feel intimidated by him. Especially tomorrow. We have to work with Neil to get back home. It can't work if we have holes in our union." I moved my hand underneath his shirt and rubbed his stomach, abs and chest.

His face fell but with resolve he nodded. "I will try my best, for you. I don't bloody like him anymore. He violated the code of men." I could sense he was still bothered by Neil still, and he seemed deflated that we would have to work closely with Neil.

"Where is your pendant?" he asked nonchalantly as if thinking about it offhand.

"Regina has it. She thinks it has magic. That it affected me when I had it with me."

He glowered and said apprehensively, "And that is the key to getting us home. That was another part of this that irked me. The power of your love in those necklaces. Now do you understand why this is hard for me?" he asked coolly, but not argumentatively. I stared at him, waiting for him to calm down. He frowned. "Just seeing any of that, which I know I will. I'm a bit protective of you. I have to be. You're drop dead gorgeous. Every man wants you. And now we have him who has a soft spot for you and you him."

I nodded and whispered reassuringly, "Nothing is going to happen, Killian. My pendant didn't influence me much at all. And this doesn't mean that I have to feel the way I used to about him. All I care about is getting us all home."

"So your pendant affected you? Is that why Regina took it from your hands?" he asked, obviously nervous about the situation.

I couldn't blame him.

"It might have," I said sensibly. "Regina thought so. I realize you want to make Neil walk the plank. I get it. But no amount of begging on Neil's part, no spells, no pendant can take my love away from you." I lifted my palm and rested it on his cheek and cradled his chin and caressed my thumb over his face. His darkened expression softened to gratification. He seemed pacified.

I said, "Neil and I will have to perform this spell together with these necklaces, but please don't worry. You will be there, as well as the whole family. He might have kissed me but I am telling you the truth. Nothing matters with him returning. He is a friend, and he's walking a fine line on that."

A relieved smile spread on his lips. He appeared convinced, for the most part, but it was enough that I felt we were out of the danger zone of our fight earlier. He kissed me hard and held the back of my head with his hand.

I buried my face against his chest and sighed in satisfaction. After awhile of placid quietness, basking in his arms, I whispered, "It's daunting. All that we have to accomplish still. Especially now that Gold is behind it. I think that this Death Sack controls the lives of the lost ones, who have died. I say we hold on to it. And don't let anyone, not even Neil, keep it once we get it."

"I find it difficult to trust him, even if he is going to help us. I just warn now that he better leave you the hell alone. I would loathe to cause Henry grief by hitting him, but I will the next time he tries anything." HIs expression was staid. His jaw tightened. "I might just not hold back."

He stared at me earnestly, his eyes resolved and decided. I said nothing. Instead I ran my hand up and down his chest and laid in his arms, relishing every moment of it.

Chapter 17 playlist ~

Hesitate – Stone Sour

Somewhere Only We Know – Keane

I Can't Sleep Baby – R. Kelly

There You Were – Jessica Simpson ft. Marc Anthony

When Love and Hate Collide – Def Leppard

What Hurts the Most – Rascal Flatts

The Flame – Cheaptrick

Far Away – Breaking Benjamin

Better Man – Pearl Jam

Be Alright – Dean Lewis

Brand New Day – Forty Foot Echo

Amazed – Boyz II Men

Believe – Staind