"But there will come a time, you'll see
With no more tears,
And love will not break your heart,
But dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see
What you find there
With grace in your heart,
And flowers in your hair."
-Mumford and Sons
It's freezing today, but Katniss and I just finished taking a long walk around Victor's Village. She's never lost her love of nature. Me, I've grown used to it because of her.
When we reach our porch, Katniss walks over to Buttercup's grave. Another reminder of our losses. Just last year, his organs began shutting down. Katniss couldn't stop bawling when she realized he wasn't going to recover, and she asked me to compassionately put him out of his misery. That was a hard day. I've been thinking about finding a new cat for her, but how can you replace a piece of your beloved sister?
Katniss readjusts his headstone nervously. Primroses grow around it in the warmer seasons.
The silhouette of a man appears, and he walks slowly toward us. He never did walk the same after his spine was repaired. It's become worse as he ages.
"Hello, Beetee," I say when he comes into view.
"How do you two manage to be outdoors for long periods in the winter without catching hypothermia?" he asks. Of course, he can tell that we didn't just step outside. My cheeks must be cherry red. He looks at Katniss, who still wears her father's jacket every day. "Katniss, that jacket can't be enough to retain your body heat."
My wife runs her fingers down one sleeve of her jacket. "I've had this longer than I've known you. Besides, I put on layers underneath. I do it even in a blizzard."
"Winters are brutal in District Three, too, but I always stay warm inside my temperature-controlled apartment. It's never below seventy-five degrees."
"Sounds like you're one step away from a retirement home, Volts," Johanna says from behind him. Annie stands next to her, hands in her coat pockets.
Beetee and Annie just laugh Johanna's comment off. Annie looks exhausted because she just left her kids with a babysitter this morning. As a seafood trader, wife and mom of three, she's busier than all of us. My routine of waking up at dawn and baking until the evening seems like child's play compared to that.
Enobaria trails at the end of the group, but she quickly rushes up toward me before they can blink. "too slow," she teases, looking over her shoulder.
"I didn't know this was a race," Johanna says.
Enobaria shrugs. "It was a race in my head."
"Then it's not fair."
"I like to stay prepared, Mason. You never know when you might need to run."
There's a long pause, and I know we're all thinking of a time when running was the only alternative to dying.
We gather in the kitchen, and the others unpack what food and beverages they brought. Annie has fresh cod as our main dish. Effie's joined us, and of course, she brought a cheese tray, which is extremely popular in the Capitol.
Johanna lifts a bottle out of her bag. "As always, some good old sparkling grape juice to honor our dear friend Haymitch. Fifteen years without that crazy drunk."
"That doesn't seem possible," I say, shaking my head. Tears are starting to form around my eyes. Johanna, who's not very big on touching others, suddenly moves closer and slips her arms around me. I remember that she tried to hug me after we were rescued from the Capitol. My reaction was punching her in the face. In the moment, she was just as much of an enemy as Katniss. It took months for my brain to feel completely mine again. Even so, Johanna and I have an unspoken connection that only comes from being locked up together.
"Thanks," I whisper.
"I'm just trying to be a better friend, and I know you pretty well, Bread Boy." When Johanna lets go, her lips turn up in a grin.
Enobaria rubs her stomach. "I don't know about any of you, but I'm hungry. Let's eat!"
"You guys can go ahead," Katniss says.
"No offense to any of you, but most food tastes funny to me lately. I think I'm in the mood for some chocolate... Peeta, do we have chocolate?"
"There are chocolate bars in the fridge, but they're for baking," I tell her.
"Well, I'm going to eat them, anyway."
"Are you finally admitting that chocolate won't affect your puny figure, Brainless?" Johanna teases. "I swear, you're still as thin as the day we met."
Good Lord. She hasn't changed much. Even without The Hunger Games, without losing her family, without being a Capitol hostage, I think Johanna Mason would still be this way. Who could forget our first encounter with her in the elevator?
Katniss stands up, and she clears her throat as though she's prepared to give a speech. "I have some news. Good news." For once, her tone implies. "A long time ago, I promised myself that I would never have kids. They felt like another mouth to feed, another loved one who could be sent into the arena. But I've thought long and hard. We're safer than we've ever been, we've got a successful bakery, and we still get checks from the Capitol every month. So, Peeta and I decided a few months ago that we were ready to try starting a family."
My voice comes out like a whisper: "Katniss... what are you saying?"
"I'm pregnant."
Effie yelps with delight.
"Really?" is all I can manage.
"Yes, Peeta," Katniss replies softly.
"You'll be a father soon."
"We're going to have a baby... This is amazing!" My heart bursting open with new emotions, I scoop Katniss up and twirl her around in my arms, which makes her laugh. I'll never get tired of that beautiful sound. We've lost so much that it almost seems too good to be true.
"I wanted all of you to know at the same time," Katniss says, "because, well, you're like my second family."
"Even me?" Enobaria teases.
Katniss looks her straight in the eyes.
"Even you. It took a while for me to realize that... you're actually not bad to be around."
"You're not so bad yourself. By the way, I'm open to letting your baby call me Auntie En."
"Oh, this is so wonderful!" Effie cheers. "Let me know if you want help with choosing a name. If it's a girl, might I suggest putting Effie in there somewhere?"
"I'll think about it," Katniss says, smirking.
Beetee pats us on the shoulders. "Congratulations, both of you. Katniss, do you know what the gender is already?"
"No, and I'd rather be surprised," she answers.
There's a feeling of hope as we enjoy a meal together. Once we've had enough food, Effie fills our cups with the sparkling grape juice.
She raises her glass high, beaming at us. "To Katniss and Peeta."
"To Katniss and Peeta," our friends echo before taking a sip.
"And to Haymitch," Katniss adds.
"To Haymitch."
That night, I join Katniss in bed, and her eyes are sorrowful. I can tell that she's having an internal battle. If she feels like I do, she's thrilled to become a parent but paranoid about losing the baby already.
"How are we going to tell our child about... everything?" she asks me.
"We'll cross that bridge when he or she is older," I promise her. "For now, I'll get you everything you need that's gonna help you and the baby stay healthy."
One thing is for sure: The odds are definitely in our favor.
