Back on earth, the car pulled up to a small building designed to look rather Japanese.
"GEISHA HOUSE" said the neon pink sign as they drove into the parking lot.
The two exited the car and entered the very ornate building.
Inside the geisha house, it looked very much like a nightclub back in
the states than a more traditional
one.
"WOOOAH..." said Raymond as he looked around. "Whatʼs a geisha
house?"
"Itʼs one of our oldest traditions as
Japanese people.." spoke a tall, fair-complexioned host. "We have had geisha entertainers for decades, and now with new technology, we can considerably
improve a show."
A piano started to play some nice, smooth notes. The curtains pulled back, and Sam, and Raymond sat down along with the host.
"Our new geisha, Baka-San has
really updated our typical geisha show," he said.
"Wait, whoʼs—" Raymond started as people began clapping.
The spotlight came on a few geishas, all of which had the same look, kimono, and hairstyle...except for the one at the very end...the last
geisha stood up, revealing herself—a White Hispanic woman with long blonde hair curled up in buns and hair instruments on the side of her head—she wore a sequined pink kimono that shone like a star...which looked rather tight
on her widened, womanly hips.
It was...
"AUNT LEIA?!" Exclaimed Ray.
"Times have
changed
And we've often
rewound the clock
Since the Puritans
got a shock
When they landed
on Plymouth
Rock.
If today
Any shock they
should try to stem
Stead of landing
on Plymouth
Rock,
Plymouth Rock
would land on
them."
Leia stood up and waltzed around with the most sexiest voice that anyone had ever heard.
"In olden days,
a glimpse of
stocking
Was looked on as
something
shocking.
But now, God
knows,
Anything goes."
Many Japanese officials started turning red as soon as Leia approached them, revealing her
stocking garter underneath her kimono. There was one whose
"member" was perched like a tent.
"Good authors
too who once
knew better
words
Now only use
four-letter words
Writing prose.
Anything goes.
If driving fast cars
you like,
If low bars you
like,
If old hymns you
like,
If bare limbs you
like,
If Mae West you
like, Or me undressed
you like,
(Leia giggled and showed a bunch of men her bare breasts at this part.)
Why, nobody will
oppose."
Leia flipped into the air and slid down a bamboo pole, doing all
kinds of aerobics until she landed and did a splits.
"Iʼm...not really sure if this is appropriate for you, son.." Said
Samuel as he tried to cover
Raymondʼs eyes.
"Oh, mister DeVante, I already knew about the reproduction system when I went to Kindergarten!"
Raymond replied.
This caused Samuel to question how they were teaching most children these days.
"When ev'ry
night the set
that's smart is in-
Truding in nudist
parties in
Studios
Anything goes.
When Missus Ned
McLean (God
bless her)
Can get Russian
reds to "yes" her,
Then I suppose
Anything
goes."
Leia was lifted up by multiple geishas as they covered her with long feathers and tossed her up
again.
"When
Rockefeller still
can hoard en-
Ough money to let
Max Gordon
Produce his
shows,
Anything goes.
The world has
gone mad today
And good's bad
today,
And black's white
today,
And day's night
today,
And that gent
today
You gave a cent
today
Once had several
chateaux.
When folks who
still can ride in
jitneys
Find out
Vanderbilts and
Whitneys
Lack baby clo'es,
Anything goes."
Quickly, Leia grabbed a sake-filled teacup, and waltzed around once more, many men throwing things from phone numbers and flowers to jock straps and vibrators.
"If Sam
Goldwyn can with
great conviction
Instruct Anna Sten
in diction,
Then Anna shows
Anything goes.
When you hear
that Lady Mendl
standing up
Now turns a
handspring
landing up-
On her toes,
Anything goes.
Just think of
those shocks
you've got
And those knocks
you've got
And those blues
you've got
From that news
you've got
And those pains
you've got
(If any brains
you've got)
From those little
radios.
So Missus R., with
all her trimmin's,
Can broadcast a
bed from
Simmons
'Cause Franklin
knows
Anything
gooooooeeeesss!!
"
The geishas lifted up Leia on a long chorus line, twirling paper umbrellas
and waving paper fans. Amidst thunderous applause, Leia got off the line, when suddenly people started to move her away from the massive crowd she was being mobbed by.
"Samuel?" said Leia, scorching through the crowd of fans.
"Hello, Leia..." Samuel hugged
her. "Whatʼre you doing here?"
"Well," said Leia. "Ya know how my main dream in life was to become a geisha in a Japanese restaurant in
Thailand, right?"
"No..." replied Samuel.
"Yeah, well me and Petey decided tʼ move after the whole Paris thing, itʼs a great job over here, but the other gals hate me cause Iʼm a German Mexican and not "authentic" enough.."
"That sounds...er, lovely, but anyway..." said Samuel, "I bought
the kids here cause weʼve got a
situation and we need your help.."
"Oh really?" asked Leia. "Hi Ray!
Whereʼs the other kids?"
"Theyʼre in space—donʼt worry, theyʼll be here soon.." Ray explained.
Leia suddenly stared up at the sky, and then back at everyone else.
She grabbed a notecard, wrote something, and handed it to Samuel.
"Sam," she said. "I have to go. Watch the kids for me and meet me at this location!" Leia jumped onto a
trash can and flipped onto a building.
"Our aunt is freakinʼ AWESOME!" Ray turned to Sam.
