Hope you all remember this story and my up date isn't too late that you have all lost interest. Thanks to Debbie for her 'pushing' me on with this and being a fab Beta. x
All Change
Chapter 15
She walked gently back down the stairs and settled herself in the living room. Not bothering to turn the lights on. She knew her way around. Besides she didn't want to disturb the baby that was whimpering in her arms. She wasn't settled, and Molly knew from the past three months' worth of experience that she probably wouldn't be for hours yet.
Since her and Charles had brought their daughter home they had fallen into a punishing routine that their baby girl insisted they followed.
The days and the nights were very much the same. Their little angel. Their Abigail, showing them who was boss. They danced to her tune, and although they adored her, they also longed for the time when she would allow them to have an unbroken night's sleep. Or at least Molly did. She was still up two, three times a night with her. Feeding, changing. Trying to calm her loud cries. Trying to her help with the colic she suffered from. Trying to let her know her Mummy was there for her always.
She knew she'd eventually settle. Eventually; but the nights were long. Especially when she did this alone. It wasn't fair to Charles to deprive him of his sleep too. Late nights and very early morning starts these past weeks already had done that to him. So as soon as the first cries of their daughter disturbed them Molly would swiftly move out of the bedroom. Quite often lately she'd be found by Charles the next morning holding Abigail in her arms, both fast asleep in the soft chair by the fire. Too tired to come back to their bed, too worried if she put Abigail back in the cot she'd wake again, and so she just accepted her fate and stayed downstairs.
Molly moved around the room. Turning the electric fire on and pulling the throw over closer to the chair she knew would be her resting place once again for the night. The chill in the air made her shiver. She missed her bed. She missed her husband, but she would never swap this night shift for anything. Her time to hold her cherub. Her time to bond. Her time to hold the one thing in her life, apart from Charles, that she never thought she'd get.
She turned her head as she heard the room door gently swing open. It was done delicately, and she smiled at how her daughter terrorised everyone in the household. She took no prisoners. Her guest knew he had to go gently in case he roused Abigail further. She beamed at him as she saw him. Hair messed up and face slowly throwing off the deep slumber he had just stirred from. He grinned back and pulled his hoodie over his sleep top.
"Tea?" He asked ever so softly.
"Please." She replied back as quietly. "Decaf." She reminded him.
Molly grinned and shushed a curious Abigail as she watched him walk into the kitchen. His slippered feet shuffling along the carpet which was proof he too was tired, so tired he couldn't pick his feet up properly.
She settled herself down and snuggled her now very full, and half asleep, daughter into her. And then she waited. It was their routine. For the past five or six weeks he had joined her at night every now and then. When his thoughts kept him awake too. Her fellow night owl and baby whisperer. Sometimes they'd talk. Sometimes they would just sit there watching the dawn come or day dreaming the time away, but once up with her he stayed with them. Never returned to his own bed. He stayed and she appreciated it.
"Finally, asleep?" He asked as he set down her tea next to her. Squeezing her shoulder as he did as a show of solidarity.
"For now." She raised her eyes to him in hope as he took the chair directly opposite her. It was cosy, it was contentment, and the room fell silent and settled.
"He still asleep?" Elvis asked pointing upwards talking about Charles. He knew he would be.
"Yeah. Lucky bastard." She giggled. "You should be too."
She had said that to him every night he had gotten up with her and Abigail, but just like all the other times she had said it he wave the comment away.
"Nah. It's alright. Not as though I've anything to get up for, or anyone have I?" He said it with such sadness, but realisation, that it broke Molly's heart.
"You will. One day." She kindly said.
He nodded. That was all.
It had been months since Elvis had had his heart broken by Georgie, but still he wasn't over it. He'd tried, said and did all the right things, but something about him still remained off. Molly and Charles had talked about it so many times to begin with. Had worried and tried, now though they just accepted it.
He still remained their house guest and still was mostly Molly's companion. A career break he'd told them initially, his choice, but both knew the truth. And so when he did go back to the job at the end of the month it was to something a lot softer to what he used to do. This time he was behind a desk, for now. Regular hours and regular home times.
So now instead of him being a brilliant, fearless SF soldier he now was Molly's brilliant but lost shadow. Often home alone with her, when Charles was caught up with his work. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her and Abigail. He talked, and he helped. He did dirty nappies, he burped, he did housework and chores. Taking pride in it all. The only things he had confidence in doing for now.
The whole, becoming a mother thing, a little bit later on in life for Molly had been a joy; totally joyful, but one hell of a shock too, especially as Abigail was not an easy baby. Baby eczema, and colic all caused baby Abigail to be fractious and demanding, and at times they all struggled. All found it hard seeing the little bundle that they loved so much squirming and twisting in pain. There had been some hard days and nights and when Charles hadn't been around, thankfully Elvis had been. She appreciated his huge support, and had depended on him heavily at times. He'd been there for reassurance, suggestions and someone to hold the baby while she did such decadent things like have a shower.
They were now though coming to the end of these bad days and nights. Abigail was in less discomfort as each day passed. All became more relaxed and confident in their roles. Molly and Charles had only to work on Abigail's sleeping routine and all could see better times ahead.
Her world and everything in it had been turned in its head when Abigail arrived. Yet she wouldn't have wanted it any other way, but still she craved a degree of normality. She wanted to lie in bed next to Charles and be held by him again. She wanted one day where she wasn't covered in baby puke, or plagued by lank greasy hair. She wanted to put on clothes, that didn't have to be fasten down the front for once, and most of all she wanted to be a wife again to her husband. She wanted to see desire and lust in his eyes when he looked at her. Afraid at times all he saw now of her as was Abigail's mummy.
Her nocturnal routine and absence from the marital bed, so frequently, had made her and Charles on a physical level to be absent from one another too. The presumed post birth waiting out time had now well and truly passed, but still they hadn't made love. She now longed for him like she had longed for him in the beginning. She worried about her changed body shape, about her need to feed her child as nature intended, and wondered if all of this changed the way he thought about her. About how he wanted her. It scared her.
Her thoughts and concerns about her marriage, and the loss of a little bit of her and Charles had made her quiet for a while. When she emerged from her night dreams she saw Elvis still sat opposite her, his eyes half closed and not attempting to disturb them.
"Finally." Molly sighed looking at her baby. "She's definitely asleep" Molly whispered still holding on to her daughter. "You should go up."
"No, I'll stay." Said Elvis, as he snuggled down further into the chair.
He stayed because she just might need him. She had times before. She might just have started to depend on him as he had her. The truth was he loved those times with Molly. In the middle of the night. It was during those hours that he always felt wanted, needed and secure. Just him, Molly, and her little bundle she held lovingly in her arms. This beautiful woman, whose beauty he appreciated more and more each and every day. It was a world he'd never known, expected and found he liked it.
He tried. He tried very hard. It was the longest and hardest battle he had ever been involved in. But he was losing it, and losing it fast. He was starting to fall head over heels in love with Molly. His best mate's wife. His God daughter's mother. His friend, and there was little, he felt, he could do about it.
It was all so unfair and the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt anyone. He often wondered if Molly knew, but never once doubted that she would never return his feelings. That was obvious, the way she looked at Charles showed there was no room in her heart for anyone but her husband, and their daughter. He knew though she loved him. But she loved him as a friend, that was all.
Elvis had pride. He was a decent man, who followed a strict code. He had his loyalty to his friend to remember. His closest most supportive of friends. He couldn't steal his wife away from him even if he had really wanted to. And so Elvis stayed quiet and chose instead to be Molly's close companion and helper. Rather than her lover.
"Thought it could just be the three of us?" Charles asked the next day hopefully.
Today was a good day. Today was a day he had finally found time to clear his schedule and was hoping to spend some much needed time with his family. His girls.
The past months, since Abigail had arrived he had almost split himself in two. He hadn't wanted to miss anything about his daughter's life, had wanted to be there for Molly; but the bad timing of a takeover he was heavily involved in, and the increase to his headaches meant that more often as not his did miss out. Forced night and days away with work, late meetings, delayed home times, all kept him away from his girls. He felt guilty and he felt robbed.
Today though he had hoped to readdress that balance. To take Abigail and Molly out. To enjoy some fresh air and family time. He had expected her to be happy but wasn't that surprised when she hesitated.
"What about Elvis?" She had asked straight away.
It made him feel sad that her first words hadn't been to thank him, or to feel happiness at spending time together. Instead her first thought had been for Elvis.
On hearing his name he popped his head around the kitchen door. Raising his eyebrows in question.
"Charles was suggesting a day out." Molly said happily turning to him.
Elvis immediately read the situation before him. He noticed how Charles had pulled himself up to his full height and swooped in to pick his daughter up from the Moses' basket she'd been wiggling in. Then he moved to stand close to Molly. Elvis saw it all. How Charles subconsciously claimed both her and the baby as his.
Elvis smiled at his friend and received a brief smile back. Appreciating it all. He knew that Charles knew, and he knew it was time to stop the fantasy that he sometimes ran away with, that he had a future with Molly.
"Nah. You guys go." He said nonchalantly. Not missing the very brief smile of gratitude that spread across Charles' face.
Had he not been already set on his course of action he would have been hurt by the speed they accepted his offer, and moved to leave, without him. But he wasn't. He was doing this for her. For Molly. She didn't need complications. She didn't need upset. She needed and deserved Charles and their family.
"This is proper nice." She said as she turned around and pecked him on the nose. Each day she was becoming more confident and Abigail was become more settled. Easier. Into a routine.
"It is." He replied as he looked into the pram to marvel at the swaddled up form that was finally sleeping peacefully.
She moved closer to where he was sitting on the park bench, and skilfully snuggled herself in between his legs. Her back resting on his front. Her head rolling back on to his chest. He accepted her readily.
"This is even nicer." He happily sighed.
She turned her head slightly and he took the opportunity to kiss her neck. That special part of her neck which only he ever knew where to kiss. She let out a soft groan, happy with his attention. She quivered at his touch and the memory of them.
"Missed this." She said contently. "Peace. Quiet. You 'n' me." She added with a bit of embarrassment. The smell of him, his touch. The way his arms wrapped about her body as she sat there stirred something deep inside her. A stirring she had missed.
"Miss it too. Miss you." He held her tighter. "Miss waking up next to you. That beds big and cold without you."
"Yeah. Sorry about that. Just thought with all your work...and headaches you needed the sleep." She'd explained it to him before. Her reasons why she had semi deserted their bed. She had just wanted to help and needed him to understand that was the only reason.
He been so involved with Abigail she could understand why he missed them. In the beginning he'd been up with her every night. They had paced the floor together trying to get Abigail to sleep, but they both quickly learnt that it wasn't a two person job. So they then swapped to looking after their daughter in shifts. Her for one of the feeds. Charles using her expressed milk for the other, but that just resulted in them both being exhausted and unproductive the next day. Then Charles' headaches came back and he became incapacitate with them. With the headaches and his sudden ramped up workload, Molly knew that sleep was what he needed. And so, she withdrew from him at night to allow him to sleep.
So, for many weeks as soon as Abigail started her midnight screaming serenade Molly had taken up the habit of leaving him in bed to sleep, while she dealt with the problem. He felt cheated, but understood. He accepted that it wasn't forever. But then he discovered that Elvis often joined her at night, taking on his role; and where once he felt loss, now he felt jealousy.
"I know. Think things should be better from here on in." He kissed her head. "Less crazy for me work wise."
"That's good." She sighed. "Maybe you'll even be home for tea some nights?" She hopefully asked.
"Definitely. Well I'll try my best. And." He hesitated. "Maybe I'll get my wife to stay in bed with me all night again?"
"I'd like that." She smiled looking across at their baby girl. "If you're sure? I only leave cause I worry about you."
"I know, but I don't want you to leave anymore. Stay. Please." He asked.
"What about your headaches." She asked. She was concerned.
"I'm sure I'll cope." He reassured her. "I just miss you both when you leave. That's worse." He said simply and honestly.
He would never admit to his other feelings of envy that another man got to share those hours with his wife and daughter. While he slept away alone in their bed.
They sat soaking up their time together and watched the world go by. Making the odd comment about nothing in particular as the afternoon rolled on. Just totally content being in each other's company, to be part of each other's worlds once more.
"What we gonna do about him." Molly suddenly asked.
"Who?" Charles looked around to see who she was referring to but knowing really who she meant.
"Elvis." She said sheepishly.
"Oh." He was curious as to where this was going.
Molly shifted around to look at Charles.
"It's not that I don't. Cause I do. Love having him to stay... it's just well... sorry. He's your mate. No sorry. I shouldn't have said."
She stopped herself with a dramatic shake of her head. "I don't want to be mean. Or unkind or anything." She said very quietly.
"You think it's time he moved on?" Charles asked startled by her being the one bringing up the subject. But she always had been the braver one out of them both.
"No. Well yeah." She looked at him with a pained face. "Does that make me a bad person?" She asked of him.
"No." He kissed the top of her nose. "No one could ever accuse you of that."
"So, what do you think?"
"I think I might make you right." He said softly and then with force. "No you are right. It's time for him to move on."
Suddenly Abigail woke and demanded her mother's attention. The conversation stalled as Molly got herself comfortable as Charles reached down and lifted up his baby girl. He took a few moments of her crying as he tried to settle her, checked her nappy and simply enjoyed the pleasure of holding her. Unable to comfort her though fully he moved to pass her over to Molly.
"She definitely wants you." He laughed as he watched his hungry daughter fuss momentarily then latch onto Molly's breast with force.
There was a moments silence, apart for the content sucking noises Abigail was making.
He poured Molly some water from a bottle they had brought, and then rearranged her coat over her shoulders to give her privacy and comfort. It was a beautiful early autumn day, but he still worried about both his ladies. He then sat down next to them. Guarding them and available to meet their every whim.
He marvelled each day at how natural all this was for Molly. Unfairly comparing her to Rebecca, and how she hadn't coped. He knew it had been hard work for her though. The dark circles some days under her eyes testament to that fact. Molly was nearly 40, and had found being a first time mother a surprising and worthy challenge. Yet from what he saw she had coped well. He knew she had insecurities about her body, and the changes carrying Abigale had made, but to him it mattered not. She was his Molly. The woman he'd wanted for most of his adult life, and now he had her and nothing would ever change that.
"It's just." She said quietly as she swapped Abigail onto her other breast, and continued once she was settled. "I see him looking at me at times and he's so sad."
Charles just nodded. Sitting to her side he threw one arm around his wife, while allowing his daughter to wrap her tiny fingers around one of his. Not letting him move away from her despite the ache he felt in his arm as he held it up. Months old and already she controlled both her parents to do her bidding.
"It must be hard for him." She looked at Charles. "Don't you think. Seeing us. Happy. It must hurt him."
Charles smiled, a knowing smile, but a sad one.
"What?" She asked as she reached over to stroke his cheek. "I know that smile." She was confused.
"He is sad Molly. You're right." Charles said slowly and carefully.
"But?" She pulled her hand back as she stroked Abigail's head. Needing to touch her just as much as she needed to touch Charles. She focused on her baby gentle sucking on her and felt so happy.
"He's in love with you Molly." Charles said softly.
Her head whipped up, and the moment of contentment she had just felt was replaced by horror. Charles knew!
He watched as her face twisted from shock to utter guilt. "You know." She croaked out. "How? When?"
He raised his eyes and lifted his baby away from her as it was obvious she had finished feeding. He expertly put her over his shoulder to wind her, and Molly took her time and wrapped herself back up.
"Think we should walk. Don't you." He said manoeuvring the pram with one hand and supporting his daughter on his shoulder with the other.
She was shocked at his statement that it took her moments to catch up to him. His long strides out pacing hers.
"How? I mean when did you?" She began as she caught up with him on the path by the duck pond. "When?"
Charles turned to her kindly and accepted the silent offer of her taking over pushing the empty pram.
"You're very easy to love." He said with a sad smile. "So easy. I've known for a while."
"Shit." She blew out and kicked her foot off the ground. "Buggery shit." He smiled at her.
She didn't know where to start. She had hoped this would all just go away. "I thought at first it was just me." She began. "Me hormones and that, I was imagining it" She grimaced hating that excuse. "But then the more time I started to spend with him. The more I realised."
Charles re-position Abigail after her post lunch belch and carried her snuggled into his winter coat. "I guess with me working late and being away at times hasn't helped either." He sighed running his free hand though his hair.
She turned to look at him. He was deep in thought and looked so sad. "Nah. That's not right. None of this is your fault. You know that don't you Charles." She shoulder bumped him playfully hating to see him upset. "You can't help who you fall in love with. Can you?"
"I guess not." He agreed. "But shit Molly. Elvis, fucking Elvis?"
"I know! Who'd have thought?" She stopped suddenly. Something just crossed her mind. "Shit Charles you don't think I'm in love with him too. Do you?"
Charles threw his head back and laughed, a proper loud amused laugh. Abigail protested and Molly took her from him and settled her back into the pram. As she straightened up she felt his warm arms surround her.
"No Molly. Not for one moment, not one second did that ever cross my mind." He kissed her on the lips and felt her body sink into his with relief.
"And I've never done anything to encourage him either you know that too don't you?" She raised her head for confirmation of his belief in her innocence.
"I know." He squeezed her and she let out a playful yelp as her tender breasts felt the pressure. "You don't have to do anything Molly. You just have to be you, and that's why he's fallen for you."
She tilted her head to show him she didn't quite believe his complement. "I love you Charles. You know that? For me there's only ever been you".
"I know, never doubted that-and I love you too." He kissed into her hair.
They held each other for a while longer then started back towards the car.
"What the bleeding hell we gonna do?" She asked.
And her question was greeted by a silent smile from Charles, but she could see he was equally out of answers as her.
Sadly, he just shook his head. "I don't know Molly. I really don't bloody know."
