Less than a Hero, More than a Gamer

Chapter 16


Roman was really starting to get sick of his subordinates.

It was always a pain in the neck to get a hold of Neo during one of her hissy fits, especially with her rage-inducing semblance. Sure, it was technically his fault, he had trained her after all, but it was annoying regardless.

Said pain in the neck was sitting next to him in the training room (if you could call it that) with her arms crossed and an exaggerated pout on her face.

Why was she always like this? Roman had made sure that she was stubborn growing up, but there was a thin line between being stubborn and being immature, a line Neo had crossed more often than he liked.

The stylish man sighed. Whatever, she would come around eventually. At least she was strong enough to hold her own for now. His other subordinates...not so much, especially the newbie.

Roman checked his watch. It's been a good half an hour since he called Max back from his little shopping spree. He should've been back already. Had someone attacked him? It was likely, but the boy had a reputation for being tardy. Max was probably chomping down on pizza like usual, taking his sweet time getting back.

"Hey, Neo."

"?"

The ginger had a mischievous smile on his face, silently telling Neo that he wasn't being serious "You have permission to use your weapon during training today. And before you get all worked up, no, you cannot use your blade on the kid. We're trying to train him not kill him."

The multicoloured girl pretended to sulk at this and turned away, but Roman saw a bit of tension leave her shoulders. She had finally started coming around. It wasn't much, but it was something.

'She's learning, good.' Roman's thoughts shifted to Max and the twins, 'Now if I could get those three into shape then we might be able to survive what's coming.'

A quiet bang came from the other side of the warehouse. The twins were resting from their own training, and Maverick was still locked in his lab. The only other person with entrance clearance that would come around this time of day Max.

Roman got to his feet, "Took the brat long enough," the man waved his hand at Neo, signaling her to follow him, "C'mon, let's fill him in on the agenda for tonight."

The duo made their way toward the sound of Max's footsteps, which were surprisingly slow considering the boy's above average speed. Roman's hand subconsciously shifted toward the trigger on his cane. Neo's hand glided a tad closer to Hush in response.

They rounded the corner to see a ragged-looking Max, who looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Max shifted his weight and looked them in the eyes, "Ummm, hey..." he said as if he didn't have a body slung over his shoulder.

Roman and Neo starred at the boy, the former glowering at the boy silently asking for an explanation and the latter placing a hand on her hip with the same sentiment.

"I'll explain in a bit," sighed Max. He grabbed the man on his shoulder with one hand and effortlessly threw him at Roman's feet, "I need to catch my breath for a sec. Ya' mind, bossman?"

Roman took a curious glance at the boy. His hair looked mangled, more so than usual, as were his new clothes, which appeared to be hunter quality. His posture was slouched, his breaths shallow, and his weapon's blade stained. Telltale signs of battle.

He looked down at the man Max threw at him. The brat got roughed up by someone like this? The guy looked way too scrawny and weak to touch any of them, even Maverick. There had to be something else at play…

Roman looked at Max who sat against a wall wiping sweat off his brow. He would get his answers eventually, one way or another.


Roman, Max, and Neo stood in a circle around a large table Neo somehow managed to smuggle from a nearby store. The now-awake Gary was tied up and gagged nearby, spewing muffled curses at Max.

The two master criminals stared awkwardly at Max, who looked confused for a second before perking up and digging into his 'Pocket'. He took out a rather large syringe that contained flecks of a strange writhing black fluid and set it on the table, in addition to several smaller syringes which were completely full save for a few.

Neo looked at the syringes curiously, absentmindedly poking one, while Roman narrowed his eyes at them.

"The roid freak over there" Max began while pointing at Gary, eliciting another string of curses, "had a metric fuckton of these things on him. I saw him shove that big one in his neck. Next thing I knew the bastard was huge and tryin' to kill me."

Neo flashed her scroll, "Define Huge."

"Seven feet tall, Probably a little over."

"!"

Roman picked up the syringe and examined it, "Hmmmm. Did he say anything about where he got it. There's no way he got a drug like that from one of the dealers downtown." 'And he didn't get it from MacRein, selling stuff like this isn't his MO.'

Max pursed his lips, "I was kinda busy trying not to get my damn skull crushed. But now that I think about it, he did mention a 'she'. Something about a time limit. I didn't pay too much attention to it though."

Roman put a hand to his chin. This was starting to sound familiar. "How strong was he before he took this stuff?" He asked.

Max closed his eyes, "Pretty average to be honest, barely enough to kill some small beowolves. He was pretty shit with a sword too. Barely worth fighting"

"And after he took this little…wonder drug of his?"

The boy lightly clenched his fist, "The bastard had me beat in raw strength by a long shot. His skin toughened up a bunch too. My spear could barely cut 'im. He was fast as hell too, but he couldn't out-speed me." there was a tiny flicker of pride in Max's eye at that last part.

Roman absentmindedly tossed the syringe in the air and re-caught it, "That strong, huh? This really is some kind of wonder drug…"

Max shook his head in response, "Not really. After the roid freak when through his little transformation, his veins started turnin' black. On the way back here he kept having seizures, I think. He was coughing up this black stuff too. I had to take off my jacket to keep it from getting messed up."

The orangette nodded, " I see. Thanks for the info, I'll have to get Maverick to take a look at him. But first…" Roman looked at Neo, "Neo, be a pal and untie our scrawny friend over there."

Max's eyes shot to Roman, "What!?"

Neo rolled her eyes, knowing where Roman was going with this, and with a mock salute walked over to Gary.

She carefully pulled the gag out of the scrawny man's mouth, making sure not to touch the…slimy parts. Gary began to open his mouth, but Neo pulled Hush out and pointed its blade between his eyes.

She put a finger to her lips with a small smile on her face and moved behind Gary to undo his bindings. The man didn't move a muscle.

Neo casually tossed aside Gary's chains and teleported to the other side of the room. She wanted to get a good view of what was going to happen next.

Gary slowly got to his feet, having to rest on his knees because of how hard he was panting. He looked up to the sight of Roman holding Melodic Cudgel with a bored look on his face and Max who stood next to him.

The green-haired man growled in a manner similar to the faunus he hated, "You useless mutt! I get it now! Couldn't beat me on your own, so you called one of your sympathizer friends to help! You're more pathetic than I thought!"

The boy scoffed, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Roid Freak." 'Did that weird drug make him delusional or something?'

Gary clenched his fists at Max's flippant attitude. How dare he look down at his betters!

Roman stepped a little closer to the greenette, "You must really have a problem with the brat, huh? Can't say I blame you, he's a real pain in the ass sometimes."

'Well screw you too. Fuckin' Jackass.'

The greenette shakily pointed at Roman, "Get out of my way, you ginger piece of shit! I'm only after the faunus brat. So get you and your stupid hat out of my way!"

Said ginger scowled, "And here I thought the two of us could be friends…" 'He really doesn't know who I am. Good.'

Max stepped forward and grasped Alpha's handle, "If you're lookin' for a rematch then-" Roman held his hand in front of Max, stopping him. The boy looked up at Roman, who had a predatory glint in his eye. He let go of Alpha and moved behind the man. 'What the hell is he up to?'

"I can't let you beat up one of my employees so easily," Roman rolled his shoulder and smirked at Gary, "So that's gonna be a no from me."

"Then you-"

"But!" Roman interrupted, "I do have an offer for you. One I think could be enjoyable for both of us."

Gray arched an eyebrow at Roman. What was he going on about?

Roman smirked and said, "If you can land one solid punch right here," he pointed to his cheek, "I'll let you have the brat. I'll even knock him out for you If you want."

Max growled in indignation, "What the hell!? Have you gone crazy or somethin'!?" the boy hissed. Was Roman really placing his life on a bet!?

The ginger looked back at Max and smiled, "Don't worry about a thing brat…" the man cracked his neck and stared Gary dead in the eye. The man in question began to shake. There was something…off about the well-dressed man in front of him. Something dark, twisted, cruel.

An invisible pulse went through the air with Roman at the center of it, Aura flickering. It didn't have much force behind it at all, but Max and Gary felt almost compelled to step back in fear.

Even Neo couldn't suppress a shiver of fear going down her spine. Maverick, who was all the way in his lab, felt his body shiver. The twins stirred in their sleep from the other side of the warehouse.

Meanwhile, Roman was tightening his gloves with a small, almost cheerful look on his face. But eyes shone with cold orange light.

"...He won't be able to even scratch me." The orangette boasted.

Gary was unknowingly shivering. He looked to the ground with his fists balled like those of a helpless child, 'I'm going to die. I'm going to di-'

"Hey, friend."

The greenette flinched and looked up to the strong build of Roman Torchwick, who had practically materialized in front of him. He started running away but was caught by the arm by Torchwick, whose smile never left his face.

"Relax, man. I just came here to give you some of these," Roman held a few of the smaller syringes in his hand, "You're going to need them."

Gary yanked them out of Roman's hand with sweat pouring down his face. He quickly backed away with his teeth bared and the syringes gripped in his hands. The man pointed at Roman, hand quivering in rage, "You bastard! THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME, HUH!? HUH!?"

Roman tipped his bowler hat and said, "I don't think I'm better than you, I know I am. Now take that little steroid of yours so we can get this over with."

The greenette growled, "You're gonna regret letting me go, you BASTARD!" He took the syringes in his hand, one in his left, two in his right, and stabbed them into his neck. He pressed down on the plungers with a grin, eager to destroy the man in front of him and get his revenge.

The whites of Gary's eyes turned a sinister red. His veins bulged and twitched, slithering around his body like snakes. A large popping sound was heard, and the man hunched over. He coughed up a strange black ichor and spat it on the floor.

"HA HA HA *Cough* *Cough* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BETTER SAY YOUR PRAYERS, FAUNUS BRAT! SOON IT'S GONNA BE YOUR TURN TO FACE MY AWESOME POWER!"

Roman looked at his subordinate with a cocked eyebrow, "Was he always this crazy?"

Max crossed his arms, "Don't think so. The guy was a dumbass, sure, but he was pretty sane. That drug is probably what's pushing him off the deep end. That or I knocked his brain loose or somethin'."

"Good to know."

Gary's muscles began to contort and shift, rapidly increasing in size and density with the sickening sound of crunching bones. His blacked veins became even more pronounced. His skin reddened, busting open along the cuts Max made with Alpha earlier. Black blood spilled out of them and immediately hardened into a dark crust.

Max and Neo cringed at the sight, the former clutching his sensitive nose because of the smell. It was disgusting, foul, but familiar in more ways than one.

The greenette's hideous transformation continued. His spine jutted out in small, creating sharp bumps that nearly broke his skin. His arms vibrated and all of a sudden his bones extended, and large flat bone spikes broke through his forearms with a scream of pain.

The man panted, slumping his now-massive shoulders. The transformation had completed. He was reborn and stronger than ever.

Roman looked the man up and down, "Damn, kid. You weren't joking about the height thing. He's gotta be at least seven-five."

Max gripped Alpha's blade and was torn between attacking the reformed giant or stabbing Roman with it. "YOU DUMBASS! HE'S STRONGER THAN HE WAS WHEN WE FAUGHT! ARE YOU TRYIN' TO GET US KILLED OR SOMETHING, YOU DENSE SONNOFABITCH!?"

"I have to agree with the brat on that." Gary said, his voice several times deeper than before, "It does look like you have a death wish, giving me this much power. But don't worry, I'd be more than happy to kill the both of you!"

Torchwick shook his finger in a scolding manner, "Tsk, Tsk. Don't get too hasty. You still remember my proposition, right? One punch. Right here. How about it?"

The giant smirked, "Alright, I'll take your bet, ginger," He cracked his enlarged knuckles, "One punch and the brat's mine?"

"No strings attached, pal."

"Alright then! I'm probably strong enough to end you in one hit anyway, but I'll humor you for now," the giant tensed his shoulders and reared back his fist, "This'll be over in a flash!"

Roman smiled "innocently", "You're right about that one, pal."

Gary charged at the orangette with a guttural roar, not noticing the look on the master criminal's face.

Neo was watching this with a small bag of popcorn she got from…somewhere and a smile on her face, 'Here it comes…'

The giant's fist flew forward with a small crack of displaced wind on a direct course to Roman's face. However, a blur that only one other person in the room could track went into its path, stopping the giant's attack completely.

"W-what!?"

One of Roman's hands effortlessly blocked Gary's fist in its tracts, while the other spun Roman's prized hat on a single finger.

"Is that it?" Roman said, placing his hat back on his head, "I was expecting more than that. You're taking this seriously aren't you?"

Gary withdrew his fist and swung again, "DON'T MOCK ME!"

However, his attack met the same result as the first, easily blocked by a bored-looking Roman, and with the same hand no less!

The giant attacked again and again to the same effect, trying to pummel the orangette and kicking up a small wind to no avail.

Roman batted away a haymaker, "I hope you aren't taking this seriously," he swerved around a punch, "Because if you are then this is already over," he ducked under a wild swing and flicked the giant's arm, which miraculously caused Gary to recoil in pain.

The orangette smiled at the look of fear in Gary's eyes. He popped his knuckles and, at the speed of a bullet, launched his gloved fist into the giant's stomach. A weak shockwave tore through the air from the impact, rustling the nearby Max's hair.

'Insane…' the boy thought as Roman removed his fist from the giant's gut with a satisfied look on his face.

Gary's cheeks bulged and he coughed up a glob of black saliva, clutching his aching stomach. He looked down at the…the…freak who had hit him. The bastard had that some bored look on his face as if Gary wasn't worth his time.

Roman snorted, "One punch and you're shaking in your boots? I guess your bite couldn't match your bark."

"I-I'm not scared of you! Just you wait, I'll-"

"Shut up, amateur."

Roman jabbed the giant in the stomach thrice more at lightning speed, kicking up more dust and sending the giant falling to his knees. He coughed up more dark bile than before, barely able to hold himself up.

'I…I refuse to-' Gary looked up and froze. Roman stood over him, fist drew back and mouth settled into a grin.

"Do me a favor and die, 'kay thanks." The master criminal's fist soared into Gary's jaw, causing spit to fly out of his mouth and the distinct sound of crushing bones to echo through the room.

The giant was sent flying several feet in the air, pain blossoming in his empty eyes. He was unconscious before he even hit the ground.

Roman withdrew his smoking fist, "Finally, I thought that moron would never shut up." he said plainly.

Max gaped at his employer, 'What…what the hell!? How did he…so easily too,' Max looked to the side, 'Dammed moron.'

The orangette looked at his gloomy subordinate and asked, "What's with the sour look, you mad I stole your kill or something?"

The boy growled, "You released the guy I busted my ass to take down, offered my fucking life to him on a bet, and powered the fucker up. So excuse me for not bein' all sunshine 'n rainbows."

Roman ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "You're missing the bigger picture, brat. I had to see what that drug of his could do, to find out what we're dealing with." the man twirled his grin with an arrogant gleam in his eyes, "Besides, it's not like that stuff could put him even close to my level."

"Are you serious!? I told you what he could do with just one of those things, and your dumbass gave him three! What if-"

"Catch." Roman threw one of the discarded syringes to Max, who easily caught it.

"What the-"

"Not another word, brat," Roman motioned to the table, "You remember the one he took when you two fought. Notice anything about it?"

Max scowled, "Yeah, it was a lot bigger than...oh." 'Damn, I must've been too tired to notice. Fuck, I'm a moron sometimes.'

Roman crossed his arms, "Yeah, oh. I'll give you a pass this time. You're still pretty new to this line of work, and you did look pretty tired when you got here. But remember this, keep a keen eye no matter what state you're in. It doesn't matter how tired you are or how safe you feel, always stay on guard," He smirked and looked to the ceiling, "Just a bit of wisdom from the flawless Roman Torchwick."

Max's eye twitched, 'I don't know which is stronger, his power or his ego.'

The boy felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to the side to see Noe, who flashed her scroll at him, "He stole that from a movie." she typed with a cheshire smile on her lips.

The orangette saw this interaction and cleared his throat, "Even so, my point still stands. All the more reason to amp up your training. Speaking of which," he pointed at Gary, who had shrunken to normal size and covered in that odd black ichor, "Neo, be a dear and escort our guest to Maverick for testing. When you're done grab the twins and come back ASAP."

Neo nodded to her boss and warped away with Gary in tow, leaving Max and Roman alone in silence.

"Now brat," Roman began, catching Max's attention.

"Tell me, what do you know about Aura?"


Three Days Later

'In.' Max took a long intake of air through his mouth.

'Out.' He exhaled through his nose.

The silver-haired warrior sat in a meditative position in the center of the training room with his eyes closed and his hands resting on his thighs. His sliver aura flickered with every breath.

'In.'

'Out.'

Roman explained how crucial meditation was to Aura training. Yes, constantly having one's Aura broken was a viable way to strengthen it, but was a very inferior method of training to Meditation.

'In.'

'Out.'

"Aura is more spiritual than physical. There's no point in strengthening your soul if you can't properly grasp it." Roman told Max and the Twins. It was another movie quote, as Neo pointed out, but the trio got the message all the same.

'In.'

'Out.'

The trio had integrated meditation into their daily training. Neo would beat train them in the day and assist their meditation while their bodies recovered in the night. Though using the word assist was generous. Most of the time she would sit somewhere nearby, playing on her phone. But on the occasions she decided to help…well…

'In.'

'Ou-'

*BANG BANG BANG BANG*

Max opened one eye sourly and saw Neo holding a metal pot in one hand and Hush in another. She had been doing this for the past twenty minutes, and it was starting to piss Max off.

The twins, who were training with him, were already past that point.

"Ugh!" Melanie exclaimed with her hands on her hips, "Could you, like, stop that? It's messing with my Feng Shoe-e!"

"Sister means Feng Shui," Milita said in her usual monotone.

Melanie turned to her sister, "Hump, as if you know what Feng Shoe-e is." she said haughtily.

"Do you?"

"This isn't about me Millie!"

"I disagree."

Max stared at the bickering siblings and slumped his shoulders, 'Do those two ever stop arguing? Honestly, seein' stuff like this makes me feel like a dumbass for wanting a brother.'

Neo inaudibly sighed and dropped the objects in her hands, catching the other three's attention. The multicolored girl shrugged her shoulders dramatically and with the sound of cracking glass summoned the words, Just Trying to Help out, over her head.

"How about, like, advice or something?" Melanie half asked, half demanded. Milita nodded in agreement and Max found he felt similar. 'Some actual help would be nice.' he thought morosely.

Neo smiled challengingly. They wanted advice, huh? She was more than happy to oblige, but they would have to work a little before they got anything. Roman didn't give her any freebies, so Neo wouldn't give them any.

The mute girl snapped her fingers, causing a strange diagram to appear in front of Max and the Twins. It showed a pair of binoculars, a skeleton, and stick figures of the tree of them.

Max looked around it at Neo, "Are you screwing with us?" he asked. The girl nodded happily, clearly satisfied with herself, eliciting a groan from the boy.

The twins examined the graph carefully. Melanie placed a hand in her palm in realization, "OH! You want us to look inside ourselves, right?"

Neo clapped and snapped her hands once more, replacing the diagram with a picture of a target. 'Bullseye!'. She walked closer to them with her scroll in-hand, beckoning them to lean closer, which they did.

"Can you feel that weird ball of energy in your gut that comes out when you use your Aura?"

The trio nodded.

"Well, just focus on that and let your soul do the rest. Kay?" The girl threw a peace sign at them and teleported away.

Max's eye twitched, 'That wasn't very helpful. But it was something.' The boy resumed his meditative position. It wouldn't hurt to follow Neo's advice, even if said advice sucked.

'Energy Ball, energy ball, energy ball. Gotta find it.'

'In.'

'Out.'

A weak burst of wind from…somewhere brushed past Max's hair, but he ignored it.

'In.'

'Out.'

The boy's posture relaxed and his breaths became shallower but no less consistent.

'In.'

'Out'

A cold wave of power went through Max's spine. He felt a strange tingling sensation in his stomach. Not uncomfortable or unusual in the slightest, but rather warm, comforting, familiar.

'Wait…I think…I think this is it. That energy Neo told us about. Okay then, all I gotta do is focus. Focus…Focus…'

Max felt his mind slip away, along with his awareness of the outside world. But for some reason, the boy didn't feel compelled to fight it. Instead, he let himself drift away, passively being pulled away on the shivering yet warm river of his soul.


"What the hell…"

The boy found himself on his back looking up to a foggy night sky, watching snowflakes fly by at breakneck speeds. He pushed himself off the ground, pressing his fingers deep into the snow. Wait…snow?

Max looked to the ground, which was covered in a thick, many inch deep layers of snow. Now did he not notice it before, it must've been freezing cold for there to be any snow here, wherever 'here' was.

The boy looked around for any clues as to where he was. He seemed to be in some kind of valley, with impossibly large walls of ice on either side of him covered with countless bumps and cracks.

Where the hell am I?

Max perked up. A voice, and a familiar one at that! But where did it come from? He looked around once more, searching for any other signs of life.

Is anyone there? He-llo?

There it was again! Someone definitely spoke. But Max, for the life of him, couldn't see or smell anyone in the odd valley except for himself.

Where is that damn voice coming from

The voice was breathy, soft, but Max could hear it loud and clear. It felt incredibly close, yet impossibly far at the same time, and seemed to be going through the same feelings he was. The exact same feelings, in fact.

Max spotted a glowing snowflake flying in front of him and caught it. He cradled it in his hands delicately, afraid that the wind would blow it away or that it would melt in his hands.

Are these…my thoughts?

'Are these…my thoughts?'

Max grabbed the snowflake and waved his arm, watching the roaring winds sweep it away. That confirmed it, if that was his voice, and if Neo's suggestion worked…then.

'This is my soul.'

The boy peered through the flowing snow with no effort and began to walk forward, 'Might as well look around.'

He walked through the valley for what felt like hours, staring down at the ground, where random memories played out in front of him. Some were funny to look at, like his kid self stealing the neighbors' dog. some were nostalgic, like watching himself step on bugs at school during recess. Some were agitating, like his first conversation with Tanuki.

"I wonder where that bastard is right no-Oof."

Max felt himself bump into some kind of invisible wall that made his skin tingle on contact. He pushed himself away from it and looked forward. There was no wall, only a small glowing orb at his feet.

Max looked at the orb curiously. It was absolutely beautiful. Energy circled inside hypnotically, only held back by a cracked ball of ice. Energy bled through the cracks in stings, forming ornate, jagged shapes in the surrounding air. The boy hesitantly reached for one of them, drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

His hand grazed it, causing a gargantuan wave of power to burst from within. It was strong enough to send Max flying into the air, dazed and confused. He flew back so far and so fast that the valley became nothing more than a speck in his vision in mere seconds.

Max's hearing faded soon after, then his vision, thrusting him into complete darkness, yet he still felt himself flying. Where to? Well, he would soon find out.


The boy was on his back once again, this time in the real world. He felt something blunt repeatedly poking at his face and swatted it away. His vision returned to the sight of Neo holding Hush with a curious expression.

She pulled out her scroll and after some quick typing showed it to Max, "Huh, so you're not dead. Neat."

Max ran a hand across his face and got to his feet, "How long was I out?" the silver-haired faunus asked.

"Three hours. You were meditating for a few minutes and fell over all of a sudden." The girl examined Max, most particularly the faraway look in his eyes, and silently gasped. Her fingers flew across the scroll which she soon presented to the boy, "Did you find your soulscape that quickly!?"

Max put a hand on his chin, "So that's what it's called…" he said under his breath. He looked at Neo and scratched his neck.

"Yeah…I guess I did."


With Roman

The tall man stood over Maverick, who was pressed against a large microscope. "What's the sitch, Doc?" he asked.

Maverick bristled slightly, "I keep telling you, I'm not a bloody doctor! I'm an engineer with a degree in biology! There's a difference you stupid pecker!"

"Whatever Doc. Just tell me what that green-headed moron shoved in himself."

Maverick sighed and grabbed his notes. "This "wonder drug" you gave me has some pretty gobsmacking effects. It's some kind of advanced steroid. The few ingredients I could recognize are usually found in muscle stimulants, pain inhibitors, and rare types of neural accelerators. A single milliliter dose of it rapidly enlarges muscle mass by a factor of one point eight seven two. Less so on muscles that are already rather dense."

"Damn, this stuff is crazy. I'm almost tempted to try some."

"I wouldn't recommend it Torchwick." Maverick shufled through his notes. "Sixty percent of this dammed drug is composed of hundreds of unknown compounds and elements, in addition to several chemical combinations thought to be impossible by modern science.

Roman laughed, "Relax Doc," "I'm NOT a doctor!" "Did you see how fugly that guy looked when he took this crap? You won't catch me looking like that in a million years!"

"That's good. Because there's something…disturbing I uncovered during my research. The drug induces a state of permanent psychosis and heavily stimulates the parts of the mind associated the anger, seemingly on purpose." he shuffled through his notes

Maverick looked down, "I've also noticed the unusual emergence of quote-unquote bone spokes when higher doses of the drug are introduced into the bloodstream, but I have yet to find the cause…" he looked disappointed with himself.

Roman tipped his hat at the young scientist and walked away, "Thank for the info Maverick. You can leave the rest of the investigation to me."

"Sir?" Maverick turned around to Roman curiously.

"I have a hunch. A hunch that could end this whole city if the right people get involved," the man lit a cigar and took a quick puff, "For once in my life, I really hope I'm wrong."

With that, Roman exited the lab, leaving Maverick in stunned silence. The orangette frowned and took a deep drag of his cigar.

'Things are gonna get real crazy real fast. And I don't know if those brats can handle it. I don't really know if I can handle it either.'


Maxy Chibi

When you get cucked by a Faunus so you destroy the moon

Max stood over the defeated body of Gary, "Hey Gary."

"Yeah?"

"I had sex with your wife."

"What!?"

"Yeah," Max turned around, his swishy jacket swishing through the air swishily, "I pissed on you're wife. She's mine now, that's the law."

"What the Fuc-"

THREE DAYS LATER

The Torchlight squad, sans Roman, sat at the table happily eating dinosaur chicken nuggets.

"Guys, you gotta see this!" Roman said as he barged in the room. The squad reluctantly obliged and left their dinosaur nuggies on the table.

"Look at the TV!" demanded Roman.

It was Gary, in the middle of a newsroom holding a detonator in one hand, and a walnut in the other. The watermark of was at the bottom of the screen.

"I've come to make an announcement," he began, "Maxwell Argentum's a bitch-ass motherfucker! He pissed on my fucking wife! That's right, he took his wolfy fuckin' furry dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was "this big" and I said that's disgusting! So I'm making a callout post on my Chirper dot com!"

Maverick turned to Max, "Do you actually have fur on your pecker?"

"NO!"

Satisfied, the squad turned back to the screen.

"Maxwell Argentum, you got a small dick! It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like!"

Explosion noises popped up, and all of a sudden the camera panned to a large space station, with a rather…suggestive attachment on it.

"Is that a giant-" Melanie began.

"Yes sister, that is indeed a giant space penis," said Milita plainly, despite the horror on her face.

"That's right, baby. Tall points, no fur, no pillows! Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong!" Gary pressed the detonator and the giant space penis split open, revealing it to be a giant laser dick, "He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the planet! That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS!"

A new camera, placed in Vale, showed a yellow beam of light piss soaring across the sky, simultaneously scaring and disgusting the populous.

Gary laughed maniacally, "Except I'm not gonna piss on Remnant! I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON!" Indeed the giant stream of piss impacted the moon, making the already shattered moon even more shattered.

"How do you like that, OZPIN? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss droplets hit the fucking planet, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!" The channel cut off and the squad stood in silence.

Almost everyone in the room turned to Max, who stumbled backward. He pointed at them indignantly. "You're blaming this on me! I call bullshit!"

"Get him."

"NOOO! AUUGH!"

Inspired by the Sonic Adventure 2 Real-Time Fandub.