Ten days later it hardly feels like any time at all has passed, but we're on our last day of stage one; our final fights. I can't say that I'm not nervous, I mean it is kind of a big deal after all and as much as I hate to admit it, losing to Peter has made me second guess myself a little. I've never been especially confident in my fighting abilities, but even though I got in a few good hits I still went down pretty easily and it was embarrassing. It isn't at all helped by the fact that Peter hasn't let it go and every time I see him he's got a new joke to make about it. At least I have Tris to suffer alongside me, we're stuck in the same boat now but she's been dealing with it for a lot longer.

From the moment I wake up my stomach is in knots. I'm so afraid of losing this fight, of what that might do to my ranking. In these last two weeks it's been weighing pretty heavily on everyone that come Sunday one or more of us might be gone. It might be four of the Dauntless born, and they know this too, or it might be two from each class. Everyone's afraid of washing out, everyone's afraid of their friends washing out, and it's put everyone kind of on edge. They say that you don't really know someone until you see how they are when they're stressed, and if that's true then I can now say that I truly know the other nine initiates that I've been living with over these last five weeks. Even the most confident among us, the ones who are too good to wash out or they're just fucking cocky, have been kind of apprehensive. No one here has nothing to lose, even Peter has his asshat friends that I guess he feels enough genuine affection for to be concerned they might get cut. Which would be heartwarming if I didn't hate them so much.

We're all up around the same time this morning and you can just feel the tension in the air. I try to go about my morning routine despite my nerves, heading into the bathroom with most of the other girls in almost a huddled cluster. Over these past five weeks my friends and I have mostly snubbed Molly, she's never been anything but terrible to us – or in Myra's case, her friends – but we weren't about to start a fight either. Today though, Myra seems to be willing to make an exception. When she's finished with her hair she leans back against the counter and looks at us all, there's something somber in her expression.

"Hey, um, I just want you guys to know that…whatever happens today and, uh, tomorrow, things won't be the same without any one of you. And, um, I'm glad…I'm glad we all got to be here at the same time."

Christina and Tris both shoot wary glances at Molly that she returns, obviously disagreeing with Myra's second statement. The other girls look up from what they were doing too. I don't know them very well and I don't think they know me outside of being that one girl that antagonizes Four.

"Aw thanks, Myra," I say and wrap her in a one armed hug. "I'm glad I got to be here with you too."

"Last chance to take me up on my offer to do your hair, Malachite." She smirks at me.

I pause, it's been a while since someone's called me by my last name. For some reason it sounds foreign to me now.

I push away my unease and say, "Hey now, you don't know you're leaving."

She snickers. "Yeah, but it was fun to watch all the blood drain out of your face when I said that.

"You're a jerk." I don't tell her that the reason it did was because my last name no longer felt like mine and how I don't want to think about what that might imply. I already know that I've come a long way from being Mimette Malachite, the perfect upper class Erudite daughter, but I guess I just hadn't realized how far away I'd gotten from everything I was supposed to be, not really. Of course I've always been aware of how I completely turned away from everything that I was supposed to be in Erudite, but I had never realized how much I associated my family with a certain way of living that I no longer comply with. Even Mark and Minerva in Amity and Candor respectively are elegant and sophisticated, accomplished and with nowhere to go but up.

And me, well Dauntless seems to inherently reject elegance and sophistication to an extent; and as for accomplished and with nowhere to go but up, well I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water and it feels so easy to fail. My family makes it seem so easy, maybe it is easier where they are, or maybe they're just better. Either way, I can't help but feel like a failure in comparison to them.

Or maybe not a failure, just...like I'm not living up to my full potential.

"It's definitely been a wild ride," says one of the girls I've never talked to before, I think her name is Ashley.

"Can't believe we're only halfway through," says another.

"Thank god, honestly," Rumi says as they tie back their hair. "I think I speak for all of us when I say I can't wait to be done."

A chorus of agreements ripple through the small crowd.

We have fights today but I do my makeup anyways because it feels good. Because today is special. Because I'm going to win my fight no matter who it's against.

I know that we can't all make it, and as I look around the room I try to imagine who it will be. Which one of us won't be here a week from now? I swear to god it won't be me. But most of them don't seem that worried, some of them are even joking about it, placing bets on who will get cut.

"Edward's totally the favorite to be first," says Rumi.

"Yeah, no kidding," Myra replies with that little grin she gets every time he comes up. "I wouldn't be surprised if he took first over all."

"Okay, but who's second?" asks the girl who always wears the black scarf over her hair.

"I would guess Peter," one of the girls says. "I really hate to say it, but he's pretty good."

"You're damn right he's good," Molly chimes in. "He's beaten pretty much everyone in here."

We exchange grimaces. All of us have their least favorite Peter memories, many pertaining to our fights.

"Well then here's hoping he suffers in phase two," Myra says, giving Molly a vicious grin.

Christina's eyes find mine, she's apprehensive about something. I reach over and put my hand over hers. Tris notices this and gives both of us a quizzical look but doesn't say anything. The two of us leave not long after that, done getting ready and uninterested in the continued speculation about the ranks. I know I've got to be in the top five, if not now than by the end of training. There's nothing I need more right now than this, I know that for sure.

Through breakfast the mood is tense, Tris especially seems to be in quite the terrible mood though despite our prying she refuses to tell us what happened to make her so angry.

"Nervous?" I ask Christina teasingly as we walk to training.

"Oh my god I'm terrified."

"Any guesses for who's up against who?"

She shudders. "So long as I'm not up against Molly again I don't think it really matters." She pauses. "Or Peter, wouldn't really want to fight him either."

"At least I know I can win against Molly, but Peter…"

"Four wouldn't put you up against him again after you just lost two weeks ago," Al interjects.

I grimace. "Thanks for reminding me." He shoots me an apologetic look. "Also, I wouldn't put anything past him; he hates me, remember?"

"You do kind of antagonize him," Tris says.

I roll my eyes. "He is in no way above criticism, and maybe I wouldn't fuck with him so much if he would just use my goddamn name."

We arrive in the training room and the board's already been set up, which means that the fights are first thing.
"You all look bright eyed and bushy tailed," Eric says sarcastically, his eyes skimming over us before rolling.
"Will and Drew, you're first," Four says, jumping straight into things with no fanfare. Not that I'd really expect anything else.
"Good luck," I say and Will glances back, smiling at me.
"I don't need it," he says with an amount of confidence I would find obnoxious on most other people, but I know Will and I know that he's no egotist; not like other people I've met are. He knows he's good, but he also knows his limits.
"I know."
"It's what you-"
"Love about you, I know." I roll my eyes.
He walks onto the mat with a spring in his step and I join Myra leaning against one of the stone pillars.
"You two are sweet," she says.
I look at her and raise my eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
She snickers at that. "Nothing, Mimi. Never mind."
Will and Drew sort of dance around each other, trading blows. Will moves with far more grace though and Drew's hits miss more often than not, which infuriates him. I can see him taking the same strategy he did with Al, hitting hard and fast and then dancing out of range. It didn't work when he tried it on me of course, but I'm a lot faster than Al and Drew are.
"Are you sure you're okay, Tris?" Al puts his hand on her shoulder. "You seem a little..."
"A little what?" Tris nearly snaps.
"...On edge."
"I'm fine," she says stiffly.
I look back at the board to see the other matchups, I don't get past Peter vs. Edward before Myra claps me hard on the shoulder and I wince as she strikes one of my many bruises.
"Looks like it's you and me," she says with an amount of anticipation in her voice that makes me kind of nervous. I really like Myra and I know that she likes me too and that she'd never hurt me like Peter did, but I also know that she's not about to go down easy and that she's been practicing after hours with Edward. This won't be an easy fight, but I'd be disappointed if it was.
"Go easy on me, okay?" Al says to Christina, taking on that puppy expression he always does when it's him against a friend.
"I make no promises," she replies with a grin.
Tris got matched against Molly and Christina gently puts her hand on her shoulder, her face suddenly very somber an almost afraid. But Tris herself just looks angry.
"You're gonna do great," she says, there's a quiver in her voice as she speaks and I know she's been wary of Molly since that first fight even though they were never matched up again, but Tris just continues to pick at her nails.

It's easy to tell that Will has this fight in the bag. Drew may be strong, but that doesn't matter if he can't hit him, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that he can't. His blows are glancing if they even manage to land at all and he becomes steadily angrier as the fight wears on. It's almost funny; I say almost because I can't help but wince when Drew's punch connects solidly with Will's jaw.

"He's fine," Christina mutters.

"I know," I mutter back. "He's got this in the bag. It just...looks like it hurt."

She nods understandingly, her concern written all over her face. I don't think we'll ever get used to seeing our friends get hit, it's hard enough to get used to being hit yourself and at least then you can brush it off; it's a lot harder to watch someone you care about be hurt.

As I predicted, Will wins his fight. Then it's Edward against Peter and before stepping onto the mat, he kisses Myra for luck as he does every time and then grabs my shoulder to pull me close to him.

"I'll kick his ass for you," he mutters.

"I think you're the only one who can," I say flatly. I've long since passed the point of hubris, however much the idea of conceding anything to Peter pains me.

As Edward said he would, he kicked Peter's ass and no one bothered to hide their delight when he went down. We've watched Edward wipe the floor with him before, but really it never gets old; and especially after losing as badly as I did, the sight now holds a new novelty to it.

The fight between Christina and Al is quick and, all things considered, relatively painless. Christina gets in a few good hits, dodging under his slow blows, and he hits her maybe once before passing out. Eric sighs and rubs his temples as Four and Edward help him off the mat.

Christina seems to feel guilty about beating him, she sits down next to him and leans her head on his shoulder in a sort of comforting gesture. He says something that I don't hear and she shrugs in response.

"Blondie, Fun Size," Eric says. Myra and I share a look of annoyance and exasperation as we start toward the mat, deliberately remaining close to each other. Just because they make us fight doesn't mean we aren't still friends.

"Hey." Christina gently grabs my wrist. "Good luck.

"Yeah, you'll do great, Mimi," Will says, appearing next to her.

Al gives me a thumbs up from back against the pillar and Tris smiles at me.

"Tick tock," Four says impatiently.

Myra unsticks herself from Edward and he gives her a little wave.

"I feel like I'm kind of obligated to say that my girlfriend is going to destroy you, but good luck." He grins at me.

I shrug. "Eh, your girlfriend very well might destroy me."

Myra and I drop into our fighting positions and Four signals for us to begin. I let her hit first, I always let everyone hit first. But she seems to know that and neither falters nor seems surprised when her blow glances off. Then she swings again and slams her palm into my ear. I stumble to the side but stay on my feet. I recognize the way she moves in part to be like Edward, obviously he's been a much more beneficial teacher to her than Four. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he's actually nice to her.

I punch and she blocks me, and then blocks me again, and stumbles but stays on her feet when I try to sweep her feet out from under her; bouncing around on the balls of her feet like a fairy.

We exchange hits for a while, pretty evenly matched. We're both pretty light on our feet and relatively strong, not like Al, Drew, Peter, or Molly are though. But save for Edward and Peter, we are far faster.

But after a while we both begin to tire and I know our fight's becoming too boring for our most esteemed instructors. The sound of Eric tapping his foot impatiently is sharp in my mind. Sharper than it should be given that I need to be focusing a hundred percent on this fight or Myra will gain the upper hand.

I get lucky and manage to trip her up and when she stumbles I don't bother with a punch, I just shove her and she falls, one of her legs catching on the other. She kicks me hard in the knee as soon as I get close to her and the joint doesn't pop but I do fall with a sharp gasp. Myra recovers herself and lunges for me; I catch her arms before she can grab me and try to push her away.

Unfortunately, how to throw a punch isn't all that Edward's been teaching her.

She headbutts me and it sends me reeling back, blood gushing from my nose though I didn't hear it crack so that's good.

She all but jumps on me and I thrash. This is usually how I lose, they get me pinned and things just devolve from me. However, Myra is smaller and lighter than most of the other people I've lost to and like I said, neither of us are especially strong. It's hard for her to hold onto me and I manage to half sit up and punch her, wriggling free despite her own blows. I kick her in the chest just to put some distance between us and when she falls on her back I back away a little more and stand up. She tries to get up as well but I give her an apologetic look and kick her in the stomach. She wheezes in pain and I wince, feeling horrible for her and hating the fact that she's in pain because of me.

Still, I have to win this fight. We both know that we don't want to really hurt each other, not the way that Peter and his friends would hurt us. If our positions were reversed she wouldn't hesitate to do the same to me. But I also know that she'd fret over me for hours afterward and would probably apologize even knowing how things are, knowing that I would understand.

With this in mind, I kick her again and she falls, trembling and curling in on herself. I look back at Eric and Four expectantly, waiting for one of them to call the fight. But they don't and Eric makes a 'get on with it' gesture. I look at Myra, who is hauling herself to her feet. She sways slightly as she stands, looking like a light breeze could knock her over but looks as determined as ever.

Her fist connects with my jaw and as weak as she looks right now it still hurts like hell. I keep trying to end this fast so that I don't have to hit her anymore when she already is in such terrible shape. But she won't go down easily and - despite what people seem to think for reasons I don't think I'll ever understand - she's not weak. But when I manage to sweep her legs out from under her she's too exhausted for her reflexes to be fast enough to catch her. Her head hits the mat and she doesn't get up, her eyes closed. I bite the inside of my lip and kneel down beside her, Edward practically bounding across the room to do the same. He picks her up bridal style and carries her off the mat, following him toward the door.

"Tris and Molly!" Four calls and I stop.

Edward glances back at me. "I've got it, you can stay."

"I'm sorry."

He rolls his eyes. "You're fine. She would have done the same to you."

I nod. "I know. I just…"

"Feel bad?" He raises his eyebrow.

"She's my friend." I leave him and walk back to where Christina, Will, and a dazed Al sit and watch as the fight begins.

Christina sits crosslegged on the ground, watching the fight very, very carefully; her eyes narrowed and her posture tense.

"She's going to be fine," I say, sitting down next to her.

"I know," she says, not relaxing in the slightest. "I just...after what happened with Peter. I don't want her to get hurt."

"She's been doing pretty solidly," Will says. "I mean, in comparison to when we started out."

"Was that a birthmark that I saw on your left buttcheek?" Molly says loudly. Even Al, who had his head on his knees a moment before looks up in shock and confusion. "God you're freckly, Stiff."

Molly comes toward Tris and throws a punch that she dodges, punching her in the stomach at the same time before quickly moving away again. She practically snarls and charges at Tris, but she moves out of the way and blocks her next punch with her arm; though given Molly's considerable strength, I'll bet it hurt anyways. Molly groans in frustration and brings her leg up to kick Tris in the side but she moves away easily again and slams her elbow up into her chin while she's off balance. In retaliation, she punches Tris in the ribs and Tris stumbles away, gasping for breath. She backs away a few steps, watching Molly and analyzing her carefully. Then in practically the blink of an eye she darts forward and uppercuts Molly in the stomach, who nearly doubles over with a wheeze. Tris takes advantage of her state and sweeps her legs out from beneath her, sending her crashing to the mat; then she draws her leg back and kicks her in the ribs.

Tris keeps kicking her in the head and torso and Molly curls in on herself, drawing her arms up to protect her head. I watch this with rapt attention and growing horror; it's not that I didn't think that she was capable of doing this, it's just that I didn't think she would. The others are as shocked as I am, and not one of us really knows what to say.

She doesn't stop until Four basically pulls her away, muttering something to her. Molly rolls over on her side and groans, letting her arms fall. Her face is bleeding profusely and something in me wants to help her, just because it would be the nice thing to do.

"Is it weird to say that she had that coming?" Christina says.

None of us answer and I stay right where I am.

"I think you should leave," Four says to Tris. "Take a walk."

She dusts herself off. "I'm fine. I'm fine now."

She walks back to us and we all just stare.

"What?" she says with an almost unsettlingly casual tone.

"Congratulations?" Christina says.

She nods. "Thanks." There's no more tension in her shoulders. In fact, she's almost smiling.

I know Tris; she's my friend and over these last five weeks we've gotten so close. I don't know what happened this morning, but it seemed to have flipped some sort of switch in her.

Or maybe it's just those Dauntless instincts kicking in. I glance at Eric and shudder, then brush the thought away. Eric is pointlessly cruel and over the top, he does terrible things to people just for the hell of it and that's not Tris.

I look back at Molly, trying to imagine what she could have done to Tris that would provoke her to do something like that; to make her deserve it. That thought doesn't really sit well with me for some reason, but I try not to think too deeply about that.