Note: this entry can be considered a bit triggery.
She was alone in the endless, deep darkness. Just her and the drums. The drums were a roar or perhaps a multitude of whispers. They beat in perfect harmony, reverberating across the vast nothingness. Kaylin's heart leapt and pounded in time with the incessant beat. She stood there for what felt like days and decades and infinite years until time had no meaning. It could've been only a moment or it could've been forever before she saw a glow in the distance. The drums did not keep time; they transcended it. She transcended it also as she ran miles between one breath and the next to find the source of the light.
Her heart stuttered. It was Semsen, enveloped in a blood-filled chrysalis, his hair arrayed around him, a beating heart in his hands. It beat in time with the drums, pushing and pulling eddies of blood in and throughout it, circulating the blood in the chrysalis in perpetual motion. His eyes were shut but his lips moved, forming inaudible words.
"But he's dead..." She cried, her voice echoing ad nauseam across the infinite plane. She pointed a shaking finger at him. "You are dead!"
Semsen's eyes flashed open. He stopped speaking as his face twisted in agony. His eyes were unfocused as he began speaking again and this time she could hear him. His words did not echo as if they were meant for her, only her.
"I, who held the fate of the entirety of my race in my hands, am failure incarnate. I lost the world. I held it and lost it. Held it and lost it. Held it and lost it. Thousands, millions devoured whole. Their voices now fall silent. I ran through the long ways and their cries followed, reverberating across the endless ether between worlds. I once heard them cry from the void. They were lost as I am now lost. I am lost. I am lost... I have drowned in the blood of the dead. I am dead and I cannot hear them. I am come to my grave, the last of all we were. All we were and all we could have been is now ash. My mouth is filled with bitter, bitter ashes. I was the last... and the only hope... I again failed."
As he spoke, Kaylin walked closer like a moth drawn to a flame. Absently, she thought that the moth never came out on top in that scenario. But she didn't stop, couldn't stop, not until she stood inches away from Semsen's bloody containment. His eyes focused and he looked down at her standing before him.
"Child, do you think me contained?" He spoke, his voice a whisper belying the danger he presented. He reached his hand up and out of the chrysalis, cupping the disembodied heart in the other hand. He touched her mark and Kaylin felt a shock rush through her limbs. She was frozen, paralyzed and powerless. "You should've let me have you. You would have been a goddess, raising a dead people from the ashes."
Kaylin watched as he released the heart but it remained suspended, never pausing its rhythm. Horrified, she watched Semsen emerge from the chrysalis and step firmly on the ground before her. He circled her, a shark hunting his prey. He stopped behind her, yanked her head by the hair as viciously as Nightshade had yanked his. Any farther and her neck would break. He wrapped an arm around her waist and bent to whisper in her ear.
"I will break you down and remake you. My goddess. My Chosen."
The chrysalis began to solidify and turn opaque. Her skin burned and ached while every instinct she possessed screamed that he was forming a portal and it would break her. Tears streamed unchecked down Kaylin's face, as he continued speaking.
"Stay with me, my little Chosen. I would not have you miss a single thing." He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she shuddered at the vileness of it. Bile clawed at the back of her throat, trying to force its way out. She found she could not close her eyes, not even to blink. She watched in stunned horror as Helen walked through with Hope perched on her shoulder. He cooed and warbled, rubbing his snout on Helen's cheek. Helen walked up to Kaylin and hugged her as if Semsen were not there. Kaylin melted into her embrace. It ended all too soon and Helen pulled away from her.
"Dear, what trouble have you gotten yourself into now?" Helen was frowning. She backed away slowly from Kaylin. Kaylin opened her mouth but couldn't speak, the words lodged in her throat.
"There's a darkness growing in you Kaylin. You are not welcome inside my doors. They are barred to you." Helen turned and walked away. Hope didn't look back, not even once. A moment after she left through the portal, the cohort emerged one by one, standing immobile and silent until the last one came through. They each held a long dagger, glittering black and dripping poison. Her voice came out in a wordless scream as one by one they stabbed her. The last one to approach her was Teela who paused in front of her, inspecting her as if to pass judgement.
You are worthless. Ynpharion's voice was a grating scream in her head. She couldn't escape it, couldn't respond. An'Teela will do what needs to be done. Just as she always has.
"Kitling, why did I waste my time on you?" Without hesitation, Teela stabbed her through the heart and left the blade there. She walked away and the cohort left through the portal, leaving her bleeding and shaking from the poison in her blood stream.
You deserved that. Ynpharion said, his thoughts once more raking her brain. Kaylin desperately tried closing her eyes. She didn't want to know who was next in this horrific parade. Her eyes would not close. Bellusdeo was next. She was thankful it wasn't Severn. Anyone but Severn.
Bellusdeo snorted, turned around, and walked back to the portal.
"You're not even worth the effort." She called over her shoulder before disappearing into the swirling miasma. Kaylin whimpered as Severn walked out next. This was too much. Too much. He walked up to her and whispered, "Elianne." He kissed her forehead, his lips like fire burning her skin.
"All along, it should've been you I killed."
He pulled away and ripped the knife from her chest. No, no, no, not Severn. But even as she sobbed, he slit her throat. He threw the knife to the ground and watched her gurgling and bleeding out, held up only by the grip Semsen had on her hair and his arm around her waist. She was dying but slowly. Too slowly. She was almost numb when Nightshade walked through. He stood back and to the side as if he were waiting for something. And he was... Moments later Barren stalked through, smiling at her, a nasty, self-satisfied expression, with his arms stretched towards her. Severn, her blood on his hands, walked away, leaving her to Barren.
You deserve this too. Ynpharion screamed until her nose bled, the stream insignificant compared to her cut throat.
"Eli!" Barren called to her. She screamed and raged but nothing freed her from Semsen's hold or slowed his approach. Nightshade watched and did nothing, not to help her or condemn her. He was the embodiment of apathy in the face of her torment. It hurt nearly as much as Severn slitting her throat. She couldn't let Barren near her. Not again. Never again. No. She shouted denial. No.
"NO!" Her voice broke free as aTrue Word tumbled from her lips and fell to the ground. It was the essence of denial, of things refused and rejected. It was safety, hope, and shield. The drums fell silent. The True Word shook and shattered the infinite nothingness. Her marks rose from her skin and Semsen shoved her away from him with a shout. She fell and fell and fell. Finally I die, she thought. No more. No more.
Kaylin awoke screaming into the dark of the cabin. Hells. Bloody hells. She lay frozen a moment, paralyzed by the last fading remnants of her nightmare. The dream oozed off of her like poisonous sludge, slowly falling away. Suddenly nightmare seemed too slight a word to describe what that was. That was hell. Unadulterated hell. She threw herself out of the bed, stumbling towards the door. She desperately needed air, fresh air. She couldn't breathe. Yanking the door open, she ran outside. She didn't make it far before her knees gave out. Kaylin sank to ground, running shaking hands over her face.
"Kaylin?"
Kaylin yelped. She whipped her head around and spotted Nightshade walking swiftly around the corner of the cabin. Everything was dimly lit by the full moon but she would know him anywhere. She struggled a moment to reconcile that this Nightshade was not the one from her dream. She stood up and walked towards him, feeling his concern whisper across their bond. No, he was not the same one. He lifted his arms towards her.
"What-" he stopped abruptly when Kaylin collapsed into his arms. He dropped his arms to pull her close, wrapping them around her trembling form. She hated her weakness in that moment. Get a hold of yourself... it was just a dream. She scolded herself but like usual her thoughts were on prominent display to the fieflord. He pulled away a little before cupping her face with his hands.
"You are not weak. Tell me what has happened."
"Just a dream." She replied, subdued. "Hell in a dream."
Nightshade held her face, his eyes searching hers. Trying to hide from his perusal, Kaylin dropped her head against his chest. He tilted her head back up, frowning.
"Your nose is bleeding."
Sure enough, Kaylin could see blood smeared across his chest where her face had been.
"I'm sorry." She whispered, lifting her sleeve to wipe her blood from his skin. He caught her hand before she could. He opened his mouth to speak but suddenly froze. Spinning around, he yanked his sword from its sheath. A dark, snarling form leapt from the shadows, teeth and claws glinting in the moonlight. Nightshade eviscerated it with one sweep of his sword. Blood sprayed them both as it fell away onto the ground beside them. The smell of blood took her back to her nightmare, of Severn slitting her throat.
Her blood on his hands, he walked away, leaving her to Barren.
Kaylin turned away, falling to her hands and knees by a nearby bush. Her eyes burned and watered as she violently lost what little was left of dinner. When she was done, she felt too spent to get back up. Nightshade picked her up off the ground and cradled her to his chest.
"I can't sleep covered in blood."
"No." He glanced down at her and then walked away from the cabin toward the direction of the pool. She buried her face against his chest, doing her best to ignore the blood, and took comfort that this Nightshade, the real Nightshade, was not apathetic to her pain. He carried her too gently for her to think otherwise.
