Peneolope Lang: Galactic hero? 15
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...III...
While Timmy was getting a testicle transplant- the delay mostly being the surgery requires EXACT size...and no on in the Galaxy seemed to be as small as Timmy is -the Anti-faries and Pixies were living it up.
The Pixies signed a contract with a defeated looking Jorgen with Fairy world sinking into vat of acid world.
"You seriously built your world over 'vat of acid' world?" Asked HP in his usual bland voice. "Yeah, in hindsight that wasn't the best lace." Admitted a resigned Jorgen as he signed over the rights to wish magic to the Pixies.
"This is a great day to a pixie, wouldn't you agree Sanderson?" "I concur Big H." Agreed Sanderson in his usual monotone. "How are we so good at being bad?" "Must I break it down for you?" "Yes, break it down."
Jrogen paled, "No! Please! On top of everything don't-
(Rap starts)
Yeah
We're pixies
"This is adding insult onto injury!" Groans Jorgen.
Yeah
We're pixies
Sanderson starts beatboxing
We're pixies
Check out our mad, wicked mixies! We've got square heads,
Big pointy caps,
Clean out your ears and
Hear my rap!
Yo HP,
HP turns dramatically
YO!
You're in charge!
I may be small,
But my goals are large.
"I've had ROOT CANALS more pleasant then this." Moans Jorgon as he tries to plug his ears...
I'm not a hater,
But I must cater,
To my mission, my ambition
To be the world's administrator
Sanderson takes stage again.
I'm Sanderson
I'm anti-fun
And all those fairies
Can bite my bun
Cause my boss HP,
We're gonna be
The big time rulers!
HP nods
You got that G
We're pixies!
We're pixies!
And since the 1960s
We've raised up with the criminals to make you our fool
And beat the fairies so we can rule!
"Fine! Go ahead! RULE! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" Pleaded Jorgen
We're pixies!
We're pixies! It's going just as we predict-sies
We can't stop now
The time is near
HP holds up a model of Fairy world.
When Fairy World-
Sanderson holds up a model of earth.
And this world here,
Are ruled by us
By us you hear!
By us you hear!
By Pixies, By Pixies
Strong like Bill Bixby!
Jorgen desperately slammed his head down over and over to block out the noise...
We're Pixies!
Yeah,
We're Pixies
Yeah,
We're Pixies
Just Pixies
Pixies!
Jorgen praised the creator for it to have finally ended...then groaned when he saw his next headache/appointment.
Anti-Cosmo smirked, "Is it safe to assume you'll be forefitting the bake-off?" Jorgen sighed but nodded. With most faeries depowered and fairy world destroyed...they were in no condition to compete.
The anti-faries cheered...and it is a weary mother nature that gives them the right to have Godchildren. Thankfully, she didn't have to revoke Big Daddies current assignment due to the faries treaty with the galactic council...
As for the rest...
"And now for OUR song!" Shouts Anti-Cosmo. "Nope." Said Jorgen as he jumps into the giant bucket of acid.
Well it's midnight, damn right, we're wound up too tight
I've got a fist full of whiskey, the bottle just bit me
All across the universe they cause calamity...
That shit makes me bat shit crazy
We've got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out
Misfortune...
We're going off tonight
To kick out every light
Take anything we want
Drink everything in sight
We're going 'til the world stops turning
While we burn it to the ground at night
And back-pain...
We're screaming like demons, swinging from the ceiling
I got a fist full of fifties, tequila just hit me
On every planet they slowly trick or bribe some rube child to make the planet stay frozen in their culture's equivalent of Friday the 13th...
We got no class, no taste, no shirt, and shit faced
We got it lined up, shot down, firing back straight crown
Which includes Mumbus the 49th...
We're going off tonight
To kick out every light
Take anything we want
Drink everything in sight
We're going 'til the world stops turning
While we burn it to the ground at night
The 18th alignment of the 5th eclipse of znabar...
Ticking like a time bomb, drinking 'til the night's gone
Well get your hands off of this glass, last call my ass
Well no chain, no lock, and this train won't stop
We got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out
The Okana of reckey...
We're going off tonight
To kick out every light
Take anything we want
Drink everything in sight
And who could forget the infamous ẘ̵̧̢̛̫̜̤̮͇͔̬̣̮̙̳͙̹̭̰̭͍̟͖̠̜̘̠̞̲̼͉̔̿̽̍̀̏̀̔͊͛͗̾͂͒̈́̀͑̐̔͘̕͜͝h̷̡̛̜̪̞͓̣̩̺̬̖̘̱̫̳͕͙͓͐̿͒̂̍̔͒́̆͆̐͑͑̀̽̀̈́̈́̆̑́͌̊͂̅́̉̎͜͠͠͝ẙ̸̡̛̼̣͎̝̫̼̱̟̙̙̰̘̣̭̘̘͕̺͙̫͚͊̇̽̃̅̆̒̔̿͆̈́̑̇́̚͘͘a̶̡̧̢̧̩̲̘̝̣̪͎̲̗͇̖͖̦̮̽̊͛̆̉̓̎͌͌̌͠͝ͅŗ̵̞͔̘͇̮̜̻̎̄͑̔̋̔̋͗̈͂̌̐͛́̒̾̋̍͗́̌̂̕͝͝͝ę̴̧̡̛͈͓̖̹̤͉͎̯̤̳̜̩̗̯͚̜̖͈̀͌̂̊̆͌̌͌̿̏̚̚̚͜͝͠ȳ̶̢̛̠͎̮̮̳̪̖͚̲͈̜̮̮̟͍̟̯̲̲̺̗̦͌̂̀̂̍͐̃̀̍ö̵̢̨̨̧̘̝̞̩͔͚̯͇͓͙͍̜͖̲̬̜̹̦̟̖̟̠͎̪̖̌̌̄̉̇̓̇̋̂̏̊̈͒̄̈́̋̍͑̔͊̈̈́̈͌̂͘͘͜͝͠ṷ̵̢̧̡̪̬̘̝̖̠̺̞̖̜̜͕̮͔̪͇͉̣̮͙̬̳͖̣̣̲̩̜̲͉̞͒̈́̉̍͌͝r̵̢̢̯̙̳̗̱̗̩̲̦̺͍̝̗͇̥̹͑͊̾̆̄͊̔̇͛͗̍̈́̑̃́é̵̡̧̥͕͍̪̫͔͖̬͓̜̱͎͙̺͇̮͎̳̗͚̫̪͉͘͝á̷̢̗̰͖͚̠̜̮̘̙̼̯̮̤̺̞̭̤̖͍̼͔͌̈̎̔̌̋̈͊̿͒̐̈́̈́̄̓͒̎̕ḑ̴̛͓̲̥̬̯͈̼̯̮̪̦͓̾͑̀̓̂̆̈́͌̄͊͠͝ī̶̢̡̮̜̼̺̘͖͈̗͎̥̱͖͉̈̀͗͊̋̊̇́̈́̈́̓̕͘̕͜͝͠͝ñ̸̢̢̡̛̟̞̰̟͚̙͓̬̘̯͈̟̤̞͚̖͚͍̓̈́̏̔̏͛̉̋̉̂͗̐͗̓̔̄̄͊̍͑̌͒͒̽̈́̄̃̄͘̚̕̕͜͝͠g̵̯̦̙̩̊͋̔̀͊̿̾͐̆͆̌̔̕ẗ̴̛̳͖͙́͒͑̅̾̔̉̽͂͊̉͌̓̍́͒̈̊̒͛͛̂͊̍̉̕͝h̵̡̛̲͙̗̥͚̮̩͇̦̠̖̤̣̼̯̥̫̪̤̟̹̺̺͔͙̜̹̲̖̯̩̖̻̳̻̍͑̾̂̅̊̄͑̓̾̌̀͗͛͛͘̚ͅi̸̡̢̨̛͇̞͎̻̜͔̭̭̗̠̗̙̝͕̟̘̩̠͖̠̲̭͍͙̰̪̮͙̙̭̊̍́̅͌͗̈̿̃͛̑̉̄̎̌̅͂̌̓͠ͅs̴͍̍̿̍͗̃̃́̉̐̎͊͐̓̒͂̐̄̍̌́͑̀̏̏͑̐̈̔̕̕͜?̸̨̨̢̛͇͖̣͙͙̻̹̞̪͕̰̙̹̯̟͎̖͈̯͈͉͕͔̑͒̏̇͂̃͌̈́̽̂̃͊͊̽̉ͅͅ?̸̛̛͕̞̮͖̙̩̼͉̠͓̗̲̖̬̭̮̲͈̺̱̹̠̱̻̯̻̦͎͓̖̀̓̂͌̆̌̑̔͒̽̈́͆͆̾̈̀̍̀̇́̒͋̄̐̓̈͘̕͜͝?̵̡̱͇̺̟̼͙̹̯̜̹̜̗͈̼̪̟͕͉̩̺͙̀̍̆̆͒̊̇͝.̵̧̨̡̡͇͓̭̲̳̭̲̣̗̱̦̩͍̻̬͇̥͈͇̘͔͉̟̲̲̗͙͎̱͔͗̐͗͗̀̆͑̈́̏̒̊̃̎͗̏̓̑͆̔̑͑́͆͑̒́̏̅̃͊͒̂̚͜͝͝͝͝͝.̶̹̪̳̻͓̙͚̭͂̓̔͊͊͋̿̃͂̄͛͒̉̑̆̋͆̏̌͒͌̐̾̊̌͒̈͌̅̽͛͐͘͜͝͝͠͝͠ͅ.̶̧̨̡̪͉̖͍̊̈́͛̓̏̾̋̄̚͘
We're going 'til the world stops turning
While we burn it to the ground at night
For whatever reason Anti-faries are usually not allowed to go to other worlds without permission...
We're going off tonight
To kick out every light
Take anything we want
Drink everything in sight
But Maximus's influence takes care of that!
We're going 'til the world stops turning
While we burn it to the ground at night!
Overall, a much darker universe...
Unless a bunch of kids get their act together...
"Were doomed." Said a a resigned, melting Jorgen...
…III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: 'Were Pixies' song is owned by Fairly Oddparents/Butch Hartman and 'Burn it to the Ground' is by Nickleback
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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